February 25, 2025 • 21 mins
Are you constantly rushing, feeling frustrated, and wishing things would move faster? You're not alone. In this episode of Come On, Sis, Let’s Talk, we dive deep into the hidden power of patience—and why mastering it is the key to a happier, more fulfilled life. #ThatTalkspace
Inside This Episode:
✔ The real reason impatience is holding you back (and how to break free)
✔ Why patience = power in personal growth, relationships, and success
✔ 5 powerful ways to build patience in everyday situations ✨ Struggling with self-doubt or frustration?
This episode will shift your perspective and help you regain control of your mindset.
👩🏽💻 Comment below: What’s one moment in your life where patience paid off? 👉
Subscribe for weekly episodes that help you reclaim your confidence, self-worth, and personal power!
📢 Join the Conversation:
What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say NO to? Drop a comment or DM us on social media!
👉 Subscribe for weekly episodes that help you reclaim your confidence, self-worth, and personal power!
🔗 Support Our Mission: Let’s Empower Women Everywhere Together Hey, sis, imagine this: a woman on the edge of giving up stumbles across this episode. Your simple act of sharing or reviewing could be the lifeline she didn’t know she needed. That’s the power of your support—it doesn’t just help the show grow. It helps transform lives. Let’s be the change, one woman at a time.
💖 ✨ Discover Your True Self with Mirror to Me, Sis. Are you ready to meet the best version of yourself? This isn’t just a journal—it’s your guided journey to self-discovery and growth. Through 30+ days of reflective prompts, you’ll Break free from self-doubt and rebuild your confidence. Set purposeful goals and align your life with your values.
Create habits that empower you to thrive every single day. 🖊️ Start Your Journey Today: Order Mirror to Me now on Amazon. Don’t keep your future self waiting!
Mirror To Me journal Click here 👉 Mirror Me Day Journal 2nd Edition
💬 Join Our Empowering Community, Sis; you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Connect with like-minded women dedicated to personal growth and confidence-building:
Exclusive Community: Be the first to join a community designed to help you grow, stay inspired, and take bold steps toward your best self. 📋 Sign up for the waiting list today at ComeOnSis.com.
Click here 👉 https://www.comeonsis.com/
Instagram: Follow us @comeonsis_talk for daily affirmations, motivational content, and behind-the-scenes moments to inspire you.
Instagram Click here 👉 https://www.instagram.com/comeonsis_talk
Website: Explore empowering resources and tools at ComeOnSis.com. Start building confidence and overcoming imposter syndrome today.
Click here 👉 www.comeonsis.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Nothing is more frustrating than going toa grocery store supermarket And getting in
(00:07):
line when there's only one person in frontof you and you're like, yes, we, we about
to make it and the person in front of youpulls out a check, a check, uh, because
you can still pay with check today.
Okay, but incredibly frustrating or whenyou are driving and the person in front
of you is super slow or you're sittingin traffic, , it's very annoying or
(00:27):
walking through any department store andthe person in front of you is walking.
Super slow, nothing more frustratingthan those situations and situations
like them until you realize thatthe problem is not those people.
It's not those situations.
The problem is you.
We need to work on our patience.
If me talking about those situationstriggered you, it's because you
(00:50):
need to work on your patience.
Just like I need to work on my patience.
Get in here sis, we'regoing to talk about that.
An empowered woman is a powerfulwoman, and when powerful women
unite, change happens for the better.
Welcome to the Come On,Sis, Let's Talk Talkspace.
You are now tuning in to Come On ,Sis,Let's Talk with your host, Syeeta.
What's up, y'all?
Welcome back to Come On Sis, Let's Talk.
(01:11):
Today, we're talking about patience.
Five ways that we need to be more patient.
Now, of course, it's more than five,but five things that most of us deal
with on a consistent basis That wereally need to learn how to lean into
patients instead of leaning into angeror frustration Madness, whatever this
conversation stems from, my tomato.
(01:32):
So for those of you who don't know,I am really big into fresh, natural
things, and I have a lettuce grow.
. So we can grow our own food and Icreated some seedlings from scratch.
So with lettuce grow you can purchaseseedlings from the company but I created
these seedlings from scratch Months agoat this point so I created the seedlings
(01:54):
and then pop the seedlings into my lettucegrow my lettuce grow It's a hydroponic
garden and it's been probably likethree months and just the other day was
able to pick off a tomato and eat it.
And it made me so excited
because over the past three months,however many weeks it's been, it
has been a little bit frustrating.
(02:15):
I mean, obviously there's beentimes that I forgot about it, just
kind of let it do its thing.
, and then I started to flourishingand thriving with the leaves
growing, but no tomatoes.
And so to finally see tomatoes grow,knowing that I took the seeds from the
packet and planted the seed, watch theseedling grow and then took that seedling
and put it into my hydroponic garden.
And now that seed is actually producingsomething really made me feel good.
(02:40):
And it made me, it reminded meof the importance of patience.
Five things and situations thatwe need to be more patient in.
, and then some alternatives.
First things first, whenyou go to a doctor's office.
Now, of course this hitshome to me personally because
I'm a healthcare provider.
, but this really stems from, I was, I hada student with me, , Last week, probably,
(03:00):
, and she said to me something like, shegets frustrated when she has to wait,
, every time she goes to her primary care.
It's annoying to her.
And I'm like, girl, , obviouslyshe's not a healthcare provider
yet, but I had to just educate her.
Understanding that what you see us doing,. She's, she was shadowing me that day.
, your provider is not just there for you.
Your provider is dealingwith other people.
(03:21):
, and so it, it prompted me toeducate her on some ways that she
could be more patient and why.
Why do we need to be morepatient at the doctor's office?
, your provider is most likely dealingwith another patient or another pressing
issue They're probably overbooked.
They probably have a bunch of peoplethat they have to see outside of you
that day Most likely the people thatthey're seeing are talking about a lot
(03:45):
more things than they were there tobe seen for It happens all the time.
Just because you are Slotted tosee a person in 15, 20, 30 minutes
does not mean that person is goingto be seen in that amount of time.
They can be well over that amount of timedepending on what they're dealing with.
They may have a more pressingissue that has to be dealt with.
They may have something else goingon they were not scheduled for.
(04:07):
That has to be addressed, right?
So all of these things add to the amountof time and it could be a bunch of
different things, your provider could behaving to be pulled in other directions.
I know typically in betweenseeing patients, I'm often , asked
to make decisions about.
other patients, , by our nursing staffor look up other charts or whatever.
So there were a bunch of thingsthat happened throughout a day.
(04:29):
, so what I offered herwas to be more patient.
What could all of us do instead?
Bring a book, , expect towait should be the first one.
Every time I go to see a healthcareprovider, I'm expecting to wait
because I know they're seeing people.
And it's not just me.
So bring a book,
bring a crossword puzzle, a book,and you actually just do a crossword.
Not a crossword, a word search.
(04:50):
Do a word search, spend yourtime doing a word search.
Do some work.
If you have some work to getdone, do it at that time.
Don't come in with the expectationthat I'm gonna see somebody at 9
and then book something for 930.
Don't do that.
Because now you're settingyourself up for failure.
Now, if you get in at 9 andyou're out by 930, you're happy.
But if it doesn't happen that way, thenyou don't have that expectation of getting
(05:13):
out of there in two minutes, , especiallydepending on what your situation is.
Go in with the understanding that you willbe seen as soon as your provider can see
you, with the expectation that they'regoing to give you the time and attention
that you need for your condition.
Just like they're giving the timeand attention to other patients
(05:34):
that Are having to be seen
we have to be more patient whilewe're driving and I'm be real with
y'all This is a difficult one for me.
I probably all of these on some level canbe difficult except probably the first one
being patient while driving now I spenta lot more time in my car than I want to
and so I've had to learn to be patient
why do we need to be patient in the car?
Well, rushing to get someplaceis not necessarily going to
(05:56):
make you get there faster.
We've all been in a car and wesee somebody speed past us to go
somewhere to nowhere and we pullup at the light or pull up at some
point in traffic and they're rightnext to us and they're tight,
that person could have been us.
It does not make you get thereany faster, or you might get
there a couple minutes faster.
(06:17):
, it is not worth the effort and energy thatwe put into being frustrated, into having
road rage, when we could just be patient.
So what can we do instead?
Yes, somebody cut us off.
Yes, we're sitting in traffic, andwe didn't expect to be in traffic.
Yes, we're going to be late,etc, etc, etc. Okay, cool.
We can listen to an audio book.
So again, I sit in a car a lot.
(06:37):
, listen to an audio book, listen to apodcast, talk to yourself out loud.
A lot of the conversationsthat we have with ourselves are
in our brain or in our head.
Talk out loud.
If you're not sitting in a car withsomebody, this is an opportunity
for you to talk to yourself.
Talk about your day, talkabout how you're feeling.
Get it out.
Use your time wisely.
Use your time doing anythingelse that's productive.
(06:59):
And I'm telling you right now, that beingimpatient, rushing, being frustrated,
cursing the person out, giving them themiddle finger, is not going to help you.
That does not serve you at all.
It does not serve any of us.
So, find ways, constructive ways,to sit in your car and chill out.
, And what I found is that when I'mmore patient, I either get there a
(07:21):
little bit earlier than I expected,
, or at the very least, I'm notfeeling worked up by the time
I get to wherever I need to go.
Because I already owned it.
Okay, fine.
I'm going to be late.
I'm sitting in traffic.
The person in front ofme is driving super slow.
Cool.
And I also don't know whatthat person is dealing with.
What's up, y'all?
I know you're listening and I'mgonna let you finish, but the best
(07:43):
way to live the life that you wantis to get in tune with yourself.
Look yourself in the mirror anddiscover the beauty of you underneath.
Start today with the Mirror To Me journal.
I created it with you in mind.
It's filled with prompts, focuson maximum self discovery, self
reflection, and owning your self worth.
What's more important than that?
Leave the fluff at thedoor and get real with you.
Click on the link belowand get started today.
(08:05):
Oh, and don't forgetto tell me how it goes.
Yes, I know this is close,but it's that serious.
We've all been in situationswhere we've been dealing with
something, but nobody else knows.
So I try to take it fromthat perspective too.
It all, it aids in mypractice of patience.
We have to be patient whenwe're sitting at a restaurant.
Why?
(08:25):
Because we are not the only ones there.
Understand that your server, the waitstaff, is not just dealing with you.
Most likely they are dealing with severalother tables, several other people,
and they having to wait in the kitchen,
whoever's making your food.
And they're also dealing withmaking food for the entire
restaurant wherever you are.
Yes.
You're probably hungry.
Yes.
You want to know , why it's taken so long?
(08:47):
Yes.
You have things to do, butso does everybody else.
, so realizing first that you need to bepatient because it's not just about you.
And what can you do?
Well, if you're there with otherpeople, talk to those other people.
Have a conversation.
Don't look at your phone.
Talk to the people amongst you.
Or at the very, youcould also people watch.
, sitting in a restaurant isthe best place to people watch
(09:10):
outside of , being outside.
People watch.
People watching is the best formof free comedy and or inspiration.
For real.
We've all seen people out here and it'svery comedic out here doing a whole bunch
of normal, regular, regular things, butit's very comedic or inspirational, right?
When you see a nice couple andthey're lovey or you see a kids or, or
(09:33):
depending on how the kids are acting,
Use it as an opportunity to notfocus so much on what you don't
have and focus on what you do have.
What you do have, if you'reout with friends or family,
is the people in front of you.
Interact with them.
If you're out taking yourself ona date, congratulations to you.
People watch.
Chill out.
Vibe.
(09:54):
Enjoy the ambiance.
There was a time whenwe didn't have phones.
There was a time when wedidn't have the immediacy.
Let's get back to that.
You don't have to be impatient.
Just chill out.
It is not about you.
You are not going to starve sittingaround waiting for your food.
But it's, it's tough.
, I remember we went to Ghanafive or six years ago now.
(10:17):
And, , the time there is different,so when we talk about waiting, , you
waiting for an hour plus for your food.
, and the expectation is whenyou get your food, it's going
to be fresh and it will be.
, but you're going to have to wait for that.
And.
It was a struggle.
, I remember being like, okay,how long is it going to take?
And I saw my waitress andit wasn't a lot of people.
(10:38):
And she's sitting up there just, talking,seem like she was having a good time.
And I'm like, okay, my food, I'm lookingaround how many people, but the culture
was different and the expectation wasthat there will be some time to wait.
So what I did at that time,I just chatted with my mom.
We just talked.
And the food was amazing when it came,but it was an exercise in patience, so
(10:59):
whenever you're at the restaurant,Chill out, your food is coming.
Be patient when you're sittingat the microwave looking
for your food to be done.
I know I'm not the only one, okay?
If you are a person who sits in front ofyour microwave, staring at it, waiting,
counting down the moments, counting downthe minutes, counting down the seconds for
it to be done, then you have to chill out.
(11:22):
Why?
Looking at the microwave, lookingat your food in the microwave is not
going to make it be done any faster.
It just is not.
, and again, this goes back to thisimmediacy thing, we as a society,
with all these advancements, havegotten to a point where we are so
used to things being immediate.
(11:43):
We're used to having fastthings, fast food, TV dinners,
whatever, all that stuff.
, and there was a timethat we didn't have that.
And the idea with all this Advancementwas that if we made things faster,
we would become more productive.
, we would have more time to rest and relax.
And the reality is that's not happening.
We're just finding more things to do.
(12:03):
So I implore you when you'rewaiting for your food to be done in
the microwave, do not stare at it.
Okay?
It's not going to help you.
It's not going to makeyour food go any faster.
What can you do in the meantime?
Take a breath.
Chill out.
Go use the bathroom if you need to.
Go, , wash your hands ifyou need to wash your hands.
I mean, you probably should havewashed your hands before you
put your stuff in the microwave.
(12:24):
, do anything else.
Just chill and next time if you reallyneed to work on practicing your patience
Try heating up your food in the toasteroven in the oven or on the stove Because
you'll find that it's going to takeyou a lot more time to do that and
your food might actually taste betterdepending on What you're heating up
but at the very least it will show youthat , taking three minutes to heat up
(12:48):
your food when it would otherwise takeprobably 10 minutes in the toaster oven,
is much better, so it's no point.
And rushing.
There's no point in trying to get to yourfood faster because you're not starving.
You're not going to starve in the 2,3, 4, 5 minutes that it's going to
take for you to heat up your food.
Step away from themicrowave and chill out.
(13:09):
Last and probably themost important thing.
We have to be patient withourselves, like for real.
We have to be the mostimportant persons to ourselves.
Now I have kids and of course thosepeople are super important to me.
But I am the most important person to me.
Because if I don't take care of me, ifI don't value me, if I'm not patient
(13:31):
with myself, then how can I expectanybody else to be patient with me?
How can I expect anybody elseto give me what I deserve if
I'm not patient with myself?
It's important.
A lot of us, especially, , in thishustle culture right now, are trying
to do a million different things.
But what's important is that we take abreath, we take a beat, and we appreciate
(13:52):
all that we're doing for ourselves.
Realize that we are doing the verybest that we can, and if we don't
feel like we're doing the bestthat we can, come up with a plan
to do better and leave it at that.
We have to be patient with ourselves.
You're not learning a skill fast enough?
Okay.
Maybe that's not a skill for you to learn.
And or maybe it's just going to take youa little bit longer to learn that skill.
(14:15):
Both are fine.
Let's stop putting so much pressureon ourselves to do better, work
harder, be faster at whatever it is.
, be in a different place inlife, have more money, have more
things, have more friends, havechildren, get married, And just be.
Just be, we have to be patient with whowe are at this moment because we are all
(14:38):
we have, even when we have friends andfamily that love us dearly, we are the
only person that we have for ourselves.
We are responsible for us and weneed to be patient with ourselves.
And the purpose of all of thesethings is to own the fact that
every moment No matter the situationis just what it is fleeting.
(15:03):
No matter how good or bad a situation,no matter how wonderful or terrible you
perceive a moment to be is transient.
We are only here for a moment in time inthe grand scheme of things and rushing
through those milliseconds of timeis not going to do , any good for us.
It's not going to serve us any betterthan if we just took our time and
(15:26):
appreciated what we have in front of us.
Practicing patience is a skill, it'sa practice, , That we have to work at,
that we really, really have to work at.
, especially if you are used to going,if you are a type A personality, if
you are a goal oriented person.
It is harder for us to be patient,but it is also more important for
(15:49):
us to be patient because it's askill that we have not yet mastered.
And when we're not patient, we workourselves up into this cycle of unending
ingratitude, right?
When we're not patient, we areungrateful in that moment because
that moment for us is ungrateful.
(16:10):
It's frustrating.
It is frustrating because we'renot getting what we want rather
than being grateful to say, okay,if , I'm walking behind a person
who's walking slow and I'm gonna telly'all, this happened to me today.
Today, this happened to me.
So I'm not preaching to y'all.
Like I'm talking to y'all.
I'm talking to you.
Like I'm talking to myself.
I was walking in the store today behinda woman who had a cart and she had a
(16:33):
child in the cart and a woman who wasnext to her who I guess was her mom.
And I was trying to, Get out the storeto , actually I was in the store and
the reception is bad in the store SoI was trying to get out the store so
I can call back my kids school and Ifound myself walking fast I typically
do walk fast But I found myself walkingfast and these people were walking
(16:53):
slow and they were in the aisle So theywere holding up the aisle walking slow.
So I found myself walking up rightbehind them trying to you know,
I'm not really trying to rush him.
I guess I wasn't really thinkingabout it But like just walking and
so the lady was like, oh, , you canwalk past me and I was like, okay
Thanks, and I realized in that moment.
I really was not beingpatient now granted.
I did have a reason I needed toget out the store so I can call my
(17:16):
kids school to make sure there wasno issues but I was not patient, I
was rushing instead of just take itwouldn't have Made any difference if I
would have just walked slower and notbeen walking up all behind the people.
But that happens, and it was anopportunity for me to catch myself and
, say thank you to the lady for letting mepass her, the first thing that came to
(17:37):
my mind, I'm not gonna lie to y'all, waswhy are they holding up this whole aisle?
Like, I can't, I, there's apart of me who cannot stand when
people hold up the whole aisle.
However, it was an opportunity forme to be patient, say thank you to
the woman for moving out the way.
, and then obviously go about my business.
And in that moment, I really couldhave, I could have walked slower.
(18:01):
, but I allowed myself to,first of all, dissipate.
My frustration by saying thank youto the lady for being, I will call
it gracious, , for saying thank youto the lady instead of, being upset.
And, , telling myself briefly,like, yo, you got to chill.
I had to really chill in thatmoment and in moments like that.
So we're not always goingto be on our A game.
(18:23):
We're not always going to be ableto be patient in every moment,
but we can remind ourselves whenit happens, like, yo, chill out.
Calm down, take a breath, , talkit out, count, I tell my children,
count, we can do that as adults, count.
If you are feeling frustrated,especially if you're sitting in your
car and you have road rage, cause alot of us do have it, calm down, count.
(18:45):
If you having difficulty calming and youfeeling like, your blood pressure is
rising and you can't manage your emotions,you can't control your frustration.
Count.
Count to 10, count to 20, countback, or whatever you need to do.
Speak out loud, again, aboutWhy you're frustrated.
You could say, I'm frustratedbecause this person cut me off.
(19:06):
Or in the same way that you cursingsomebody out in your car, you can speak
calmly out loud about what's going on.
And it may not seem like much, but when wecome across situations in our life, and we
have learned how to be calm, when we havelearned to accept the moment for whatever
it is, We learn how to be less combative.
(19:28):
We learn how to
diffuse any situation betweenourselves and somebody else or just us.
And it gets us further because when we'remore in tune with ourselves, we have
More emotional intelligence and thatis really the purpose of this because
we are going to die at some point everylast one of us You meet everybody that
we love it is absolutely no point inrushing through life Rushing through
(19:52):
these situations that many of us dealwith Often there is no upside to rushing
through life because it's going to endanyway at some Undetermined point in time.
What is the point of rushing through it?
Be patient.
So what I could offer you is be patient.
I understand being patient with my littlebaby tomatoes, , it was a godsend because
(20:14):
I'm going to eat one of those today.
And I know that it was my hard workthat went into making that tomato.
And it may not seem like much, butI realized that over the course
of, two to three months, I thinkit's more like three months.
, I have been frustrated intermittently.
I have forgotten about it.
, but the patience watching the sproutsand then the leaves, and then finally
(20:37):
seeing all these clusters of tomatoescome in, , has been wonderful.
Has been amazing, has been, , afascinating experience because I
allowed myself to just let it go.
I have no control over it.
, I don't need to do the most, I justneed to let it take its course.
, and if I extrapolate my patience andmy thoughts about how I feel about
(21:00):
growing my tomatoes for the firsttime to every other part of my life.
Then there's no losing andI hope you feel the same.
Let me know how you stay patient Orif you have a problem being patient
because I know I do and I know thatI have to practice it often What tips
do you have to stay patient or arethere some other tips that you would
(21:23):
like me to talk about when it comes?
to practicing patience And if youhave some really good tips, how has it
helped you get further in your life?
I try I'll catch you onthe next one peace out
Nothing is more frustrating than going toa grocery store supermarket And getting in
(00:07):
line when there's only one person in frontof you and you're like, yes, we, we about
to make it and the person in front of youpulls out a check, a check, uh, because
you can still pay with check today.
Okay, but incredibly frustrating or whenyou are driving and the person in front
of you is super slow or you're sittingin traffic, , it's very annoying or
(00:27):
walking through any department store andthe person in front of you is walking.
Super slow, nothing more frustratingthan those situations and situations
like them until you realize thatthe problem is not those people.
It's not those situations.
The problem is you.
We need to work on our patience.
If me talking about those situationstriggered you, it's because you
(00:50):
need to work on your patience.
Just like I need to work on my patience.
Get in here sis, we'regoing to talk about that.
An empowered woman is a powerfulwoman, and when powerful women
unite, change happens for the better.
Welcome to the Come On,Sis, Let's Talk Talkspace.
You are now tuning in to Come On ,Sis,Let's Talk with your host, Syeeta.
What's up, y'all?
Welcome back to Come On Sis, Let's Talk.
(01:11):
Today, we're talking about patience.
Five ways that we need to be more patient.
Now, of course, it's more than five,but five things that most of us deal
with on a consistent basis That wereally need to learn how to lean into
patients instead of leaning into angeror frustration Madness, whatever this
conversation stems from, my tomato.
(01:32):
So for those of you who don't know,I am really big into fresh, natural
things, and I have a lettuce grow.
. So we can grow our own food and Icreated some seedlings from scratch.
So with lettuce grow you can purchaseseedlings from the company but I created
these seedlings from scratch Months agoat this point so I created the seedlings
(01:54):
and then pop the seedlings into my lettucegrow my lettuce grow It's a hydroponic
garden and it's been probably likethree months and just the other day was
able to pick off a tomato and eat it.
And it made me so excited
because over the past three months,however many weeks it's been, it
has been a little bit frustrating.
(02:15):
I mean, obviously there's beentimes that I forgot about it, just
kind of let it do its thing.
, and then I started to flourishingand thriving with the leaves
growing, but no tomatoes.
And so to finally see tomatoes grow,knowing that I took the seeds from the
packet and planted the seed, watch theseedling grow and then took that seedling
and put it into my hydroponic garden.
And now that seed is actually producingsomething really made me feel good.
(02:40):
And it made me, it reminded meof the importance of patience.
Five things and situations thatwe need to be more patient in.
, and then some alternatives.
First things first, whenyou go to a doctor's office.
Now, of course this hitshome to me personally because
I'm a healthcare provider.
, but this really stems from, I was, I hada student with me, , Last week, probably,
(03:00):
, and she said to me something like, shegets frustrated when she has to wait,
, every time she goes to her primary care.
It's annoying to her.
And I'm like, girl, , obviouslyshe's not a healthcare provider
yet, but I had to just educate her.
Understanding that what you see us doing,. She's, she was shadowing me that day.
, your provider is not just there for you.
Your provider is dealingwith other people.
(03:21):
, and so it, it prompted me toeducate her on some ways that she
could be more patient and why.
Why do we need to be morepatient at the doctor's office?
, your provider is most likely dealingwith another patient or another pressing
issue They're probably overbooked.
They probably have a bunch of peoplethat they have to see outside of you
that day Most likely the people thatthey're seeing are talking about a lot
(03:45):
more things than they were there tobe seen for It happens all the time.
Just because you are Slotted tosee a person in 15, 20, 30 minutes
does not mean that person is goingto be seen in that amount of time.
They can be well over that amount of timedepending on what they're dealing with.
They may have a more pressingissue that has to be dealt with.
They may have something else goingon they were not scheduled for.
(04:07):
That has to be addressed, right?
So all of these things add to the amountof time and it could be a bunch of
different things, your provider could behaving to be pulled in other directions.
I know typically in betweenseeing patients, I'm often , asked
to make decisions about.
other patients, , by our nursing staffor look up other charts or whatever.
So there were a bunch of thingsthat happened throughout a day.
(04:29):
, so what I offered herwas to be more patient.
What could all of us do instead?
Bring a book, , expect towait should be the first one.
Every time I go to see a healthcareprovider, I'm expecting to wait
because I know they're seeing people.
And it's not just me.
So bring a book,
bring a crossword puzzle, a book,and you actually just do a crossword.
Not a crossword, a word search.
(04:50):
Do a word search, spend yourtime doing a word search.
Do some work.
If you have some work to getdone, do it at that time.
Don't come in with the expectationthat I'm gonna see somebody at 9
and then book something for 930.
Don't do that.
Because now you're settingyourself up for failure.
Now, if you get in at 9 andyou're out by 930, you're happy.
But if it doesn't happen that way, thenyou don't have that expectation of getting
(05:13):
out of there in two minutes, , especiallydepending on what your situation is.
Go in with the understanding that you willbe seen as soon as your provider can see
you, with the expectation that they'regoing to give you the time and attention
that you need for your condition.
Just like they're giving the timeand attention to other patients
(05:34):
that Are having to be seen
we have to be more patient whilewe're driving and I'm be real with
y'all This is a difficult one for me.
I probably all of these on some level canbe difficult except probably the first one
being patient while driving now I spenta lot more time in my car than I want to
and so I've had to learn to be patient
why do we need to be patient in the car?
Well, rushing to get someplaceis not necessarily going to
(05:56):
make you get there faster.
We've all been in a car and wesee somebody speed past us to go
somewhere to nowhere and we pullup at the light or pull up at some
point in traffic and they're rightnext to us and they're tight,
that person could have been us.
It does not make you get thereany faster, or you might get
there a couple minutes faster.
(06:17):
, it is not worth the effort and energy thatwe put into being frustrated, into having
road rage, when we could just be patient.
So what can we do instead?
Yes, somebody cut us off.
Yes, we're sitting in traffic, andwe didn't expect to be in traffic.
Yes, we're going to be late,etc, etc, etc. Okay, cool.
We can listen to an audio book.
So again, I sit in a car a lot.
(06:37):
, listen to an audio book, listen to apodcast, talk to yourself out loud.
A lot of the conversationsthat we have with ourselves are
in our brain or in our head.
Talk out loud.
If you're not sitting in a car withsomebody, this is an opportunity
for you to talk to yourself.
Talk about your day, talkabout how you're feeling.
Get it out.
Use your time wisely.
Use your time doing anythingelse that's productive.
(06:59):
And I'm telling you right now, that beingimpatient, rushing, being frustrated,
cursing the person out, giving them themiddle finger, is not going to help you.
That does not serve you at all.
It does not serve any of us.
So, find ways, constructive ways,to sit in your car and chill out.
, And what I found is that when I'mmore patient, I either get there a
(07:21):
little bit earlier than I expected,
, or at the very least, I'm notfeeling worked up by the time
I get to wherever I need to go.
Because I already owned it.
Okay, fine.
I'm going to be late.
I'm sitting in traffic.
The person in front ofme is driving super slow.
Cool.
And I also don't know whatthat person is dealing with.
What's up, y'all?
I know you're listening and I'mgonna let you finish, but the best
(07:43):
way to live the life that you wantis to get in tune with yourself.
Look yourself in the mirror anddiscover the beauty of you underneath.
Start today with the Mirror To Me journal.
I created it with you in mind.
It's filled with prompts, focuson maximum self discovery, self
reflection, and owning your self worth.
What's more important than that?
Leave the fluff at thedoor and get real with you.
Click on the link belowand get started today.
(08:05):
Oh, and don't forgetto tell me how it goes.
Yes, I know this is close,but it's that serious.
We've all been in situationswhere we've been dealing with
something, but nobody else knows.
So I try to take it fromthat perspective too.
It all, it aids in mypractice of patience.
We have to be patient whenwe're sitting at a restaurant.
Why?
(08:25):
Because we are not the only ones there.
Understand that your server, the waitstaff, is not just dealing with you.
Most likely they are dealing with severalother tables, several other people,
and they having to wait in the kitchen,
whoever's making your food.
And they're also dealing withmaking food for the entire
restaurant wherever you are.
Yes.
You're probably hungry.
Yes.
You want to know , why it's taken so long?
(08:47):
Yes.
You have things to do, butso does everybody else.
, so realizing first that you need to bepatient because it's not just about you.
And what can you do?
Well, if you're there with otherpeople, talk to those other people.
Have a conversation.
Don't look at your phone.
Talk to the people amongst you.
Or at the very, youcould also people watch.
, sitting in a restaurant isthe best place to people watch
(09:10):
outside of , being outside.
People watch.
People watching is the best formof free comedy and or inspiration.
For real.
We've all seen people out here and it'svery comedic out here doing a whole bunch
of normal, regular, regular things, butit's very comedic or inspirational, right?
When you see a nice couple andthey're lovey or you see a kids or, or
(09:33):
depending on how the kids are acting,
Use it as an opportunity to notfocus so much on what you don't
have and focus on what you do have.
What you do have, if you'reout with friends or family,
is the people in front of you.
Interact with them.
If you're out taking yourself ona date, congratulations to you.
People watch.
Chill out.
Vibe.
(09:54):
Enjoy the ambiance.
There was a time whenwe didn't have phones.
There was a time when wedidn't have the immediacy.
Let's get back to that.
You don't have to be impatient.
Just chill out.
It is not about you.
You are not going to starve sittingaround waiting for your food.
But it's, it's tough.
, I remember we went to Ghanafive or six years ago now.
(10:17):
And, , the time there is different,so when we talk about waiting, , you
waiting for an hour plus for your food.
, and the expectation is whenyou get your food, it's going
to be fresh and it will be.
, but you're going to have to wait for that.
And.
It was a struggle.
, I remember being like, okay,how long is it going to take?
And I saw my waitress andit wasn't a lot of people.
(10:38):
And she's sitting up there just, talking,seem like she was having a good time.
And I'm like, okay, my food, I'm lookingaround how many people, but the culture
was different and the expectation wasthat there will be some time to wait.
So what I did at that time,I just chatted with my mom.
We just talked.
And the food was amazing when it came,but it was an exercise in patience, so
(10:59):
whenever you're at the restaurant,Chill out, your food is coming.
Be patient when you're sittingat the microwave looking
for your food to be done.
I know I'm not the only one, okay?
If you are a person who sits in front ofyour microwave, staring at it, waiting,
counting down the moments, counting downthe minutes, counting down the seconds for
it to be done, then you have to chill out.
(11:22):
Why?
Looking at the microwave, lookingat your food in the microwave is not
going to make it be done any faster.
It just is not.
, and again, this goes back to thisimmediacy thing, we as a society,
with all these advancements, havegotten to a point where we are so
used to things being immediate.
(11:43):
We're used to having fastthings, fast food, TV dinners,
whatever, all that stuff.
, and there was a timethat we didn't have that.
And the idea with all this Advancementwas that if we made things faster,
we would become more productive.
, we would have more time to rest and relax.
And the reality is that's not happening.
We're just finding more things to do.
(12:03):
So I implore you when you'rewaiting for your food to be done in
the microwave, do not stare at it.
Okay?
It's not going to help you.
It's not going to makeyour food go any faster.
What can you do in the meantime?
Take a breath.
Chill out.
Go use the bathroom if you need to.
Go, , wash your hands ifyou need to wash your hands.
I mean, you probably should havewashed your hands before you
put your stuff in the microwave.
(12:24):
, do anything else.
Just chill and next time if you reallyneed to work on practicing your patience
Try heating up your food in the toasteroven in the oven or on the stove Because
you'll find that it's going to takeyou a lot more time to do that and
your food might actually taste betterdepending on What you're heating up
but at the very least it will show youthat , taking three minutes to heat up
(12:48):
your food when it would otherwise takeprobably 10 minutes in the toaster oven,
is much better, so it's no point.
And rushing.
There's no point in trying to get to yourfood faster because you're not starving.
You're not going to starve in the 2,3, 4, 5 minutes that it's going to
take for you to heat up your food.
Step away from themicrowave and chill out.
(13:09):
Last and probably themost important thing.
We have to be patient withourselves, like for real.
We have to be the mostimportant persons to ourselves.
Now I have kids and of course thosepeople are super important to me.
But I am the most important person to me.
Because if I don't take care of me, ifI don't value me, if I'm not patient
(13:31):
with myself, then how can I expectanybody else to be patient with me?
How can I expect anybody elseto give me what I deserve if
I'm not patient with myself?
It's important.
A lot of us, especially, , in thishustle culture right now, are trying
to do a million different things.
But what's important is that we take abreath, we take a beat, and we appreciate
(13:52):
all that we're doing for ourselves.
Realize that we are doing the verybest that we can, and if we don't
feel like we're doing the bestthat we can, come up with a plan
to do better and leave it at that.
We have to be patient with ourselves.
You're not learning a skill fast enough?
Okay.
Maybe that's not a skill for you to learn.
And or maybe it's just going to take youa little bit longer to learn that skill.
(14:15):
Both are fine.
Let's stop putting so much pressureon ourselves to do better, work
harder, be faster at whatever it is.
, be in a different place inlife, have more money, have more
things, have more friends, havechildren, get married, And just be.
Just be, we have to be patient with whowe are at this moment because we are all
(14:38):
we have, even when we have friends andfamily that love us dearly, we are the
only person that we have for ourselves.
We are responsible for us and weneed to be patient with ourselves.
And the purpose of all of thesethings is to own the fact that
every moment No matter the situationis just what it is fleeting.
(15:03):
No matter how good or bad a situation,no matter how wonderful or terrible you
perceive a moment to be is transient.
We are only here for a moment in time inthe grand scheme of things and rushing
through those milliseconds of timeis not going to do , any good for us.
It's not going to serve us any betterthan if we just took our time and
(15:26):
appreciated what we have in front of us.
Practicing patience is a skill, it'sa practice, , That we have to work at,
that we really, really have to work at.
, especially if you are used to going,if you are a type A personality, if
you are a goal oriented person.
It is harder for us to be patient,but it is also more important for
(15:49):
us to be patient because it's askill that we have not yet mastered.
And when we're not patient, we workourselves up into this cycle of unending
ingratitude, right?
When we're not patient, we areungrateful in that moment because
that moment for us is ungrateful.
(16:10):
It's frustrating.
It is frustrating because we'renot getting what we want rather
than being grateful to say, okay,if , I'm walking behind a person
who's walking slow and I'm gonna telly'all, this happened to me today.
Today, this happened to me.
So I'm not preaching to y'all.
Like I'm talking to y'all.
I'm talking to you.
Like I'm talking to myself.
I was walking in the store today behinda woman who had a cart and she had a
(16:33):
child in the cart and a woman who wasnext to her who I guess was her mom.
And I was trying to, Get out the storeto , actually I was in the store and
the reception is bad in the store SoI was trying to get out the store so
I can call back my kids school and Ifound myself walking fast I typically
do walk fast But I found myself walkingfast and these people were walking
(16:53):
slow and they were in the aisle So theywere holding up the aisle walking slow.
So I found myself walking up rightbehind them trying to you know,
I'm not really trying to rush him.
I guess I wasn't really thinkingabout it But like just walking and
so the lady was like, oh, , you canwalk past me and I was like, okay
Thanks, and I realized in that moment.
I really was not beingpatient now granted.
I did have a reason I needed toget out the store so I can call my
(17:16):
kids school to make sure there wasno issues but I was not patient, I
was rushing instead of just take itwouldn't have Made any difference if I
would have just walked slower and notbeen walking up all behind the people.
But that happens, and it was anopportunity for me to catch myself and
, say thank you to the lady for letting mepass her, the first thing that came to
(17:37):
my mind, I'm not gonna lie to y'all, waswhy are they holding up this whole aisle?
Like, I can't, I, there's apart of me who cannot stand when
people hold up the whole aisle.
However, it was an opportunity forme to be patient, say thank you to
the woman for moving out the way.
, and then obviously go about my business.
And in that moment, I really couldhave, I could have walked slower.
(18:01):
, but I allowed myself to,first of all, dissipate.
My frustration by saying thank youto the lady for being, I will call
it gracious, , for saying thank youto the lady instead of, being upset.
And, , telling myself briefly,like, yo, you got to chill.
I had to really chill in thatmoment and in moments like that.
So we're not always goingto be on our A game.
(18:23):
We're not always going to be ableto be patient in every moment,
but we can remind ourselves whenit happens, like, yo, chill out.
Calm down, take a breath, , talkit out, count, I tell my children,
count, we can do that as adults, count.
If you are feeling frustrated,especially if you're sitting in your
car and you have road rage, cause alot of us do have it, calm down, count.
(18:45):
If you having difficulty calming and youfeeling like, your blood pressure is
rising and you can't manage your emotions,you can't control your frustration.
Count.
Count to 10, count to 20, countback, or whatever you need to do.
Speak out loud, again, aboutWhy you're frustrated.
You could say, I'm frustratedbecause this person cut me off.
(19:06):
Or in the same way that you cursingsomebody out in your car, you can speak
calmly out loud about what's going on.
And it may not seem like much, but when wecome across situations in our life, and we
have learned how to be calm, when we havelearned to accept the moment for whatever
it is, We learn how to be less combative.
(19:28):
We learn how to
diffuse any situation betweenourselves and somebody else or just us.
And it gets us further because when we'remore in tune with ourselves, we have
More emotional intelligence and thatis really the purpose of this because
we are going to die at some point everylast one of us You meet everybody that
we love it is absolutely no point inrushing through life Rushing through
(19:52):
these situations that many of us dealwith Often there is no upside to rushing
through life because it's going to endanyway at some Undetermined point in time.
What is the point of rushing through it?
Be patient.
So what I could offer you is be patient.
I understand being patient with my littlebaby tomatoes, , it was a godsend because
(20:14):
I'm going to eat one of those today.
And I know that it was my hard workthat went into making that tomato.
And it may not seem like much, butI realized that over the course
of, two to three months, I thinkit's more like three months.
, I have been frustrated intermittently.
I have forgotten about it.
, but the patience watching the sproutsand then the leaves, and then finally
(20:37):
seeing all these clusters of tomatoescome in, , has been wonderful.
Has been amazing, has been, , afascinating experience because I
allowed myself to just let it go.
I have no control over it.
, I don't need to do the most, I justneed to let it take its course.
, and if I extrapolate my patience andmy thoughts about how I feel about
(21:00):
growing my tomatoes for the firsttime to every other part of my life.
Then there's no losing andI hope you feel the same.
Let me know how you stay patient Orif you have a problem being patient
because I know I do and I know thatI have to practice it often What tips
do you have to stay patient or arethere some other tips that you would
(21:23):
like me to talk about when it comes?
to practicing patience And if youhave some really good tips, how has it
helped you get further in your life?
I try I'll catch you onthe next one peace out
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!