January 22, 2025 • 17 mins
In this episode of Come On, Sis, Let’s Talk, learn how to transform your mindset, find confidence in everyday moments, and embrace growth with purpose. Perfect for women ready to reclaim their power.
Discover three practical steps to take control of your narrative, build confidence, and live with intention. This episode will inspire and empower women to embrace their best lives with actionable tips and relatable stories.
Here Are The Key Questions Answered:
- How do I turn limiting beliefs into empowering actions?
- What daily habits can help me live with more intention?
- How can I use confidence from one area of my life to fuel another?
Here’s What You’ll Learn:
- Replace 'I can’t' with 'I can' to unlock your potential.
- Confidence in one area can inspire success in others.
- Growth begins when you ask questions and seek new opportunities.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you tired of living yourlife on somebody else's time, on
(00:02):
somebody else's terms, and you'reready to break up out of that?
Well then come on sis, get in herecause we're gonna talk about that today.
An empowered woman is a powerfulwoman, and when powerful women
unite, change happens for the better.
Welcome to the Come On,Sis, Let's Talk Talkspace.
You are now tuning in to Come On ,Sis,Let's Talk with your host, Syeeta.
(00:25):
What's up, y'all?
Welcome back to ComeUnstressed Let's Talk.
Today, we are talking aboutcontrolling our narratives for
us, for nobody else, but for us.
A lot of us feel like we arejust going through the motions.
We're just doing some things because theyneed to be done, especially once we get
into the productive years of our lives.
We're working, maybe we havefamilies, and we're doing all
the things that we're doing.
(00:45):
, I saw a dude the other day on socialmedia, And he talked about, women out
here, mom and hustling, mom and hustling,and not taking time for themselves.
And that's real, and I subscribe to that,sadly, but you gotta do what you gotta
do, a lot of us are just going through themotions, doing things that we need to do,
and we're not Feeling like we're livingthe lives that we're meant to be living,
(01:06):
we're not living our lives on purpose.
We're just doing things.
So today we're going to talk aboutsome ways to break up out of that.
, I ain't gonna lie to y'all.
I almost came to y'all with some pajamason because, , I like wearing pajamas.
They're really comfortablewhen I'm not at work.
, I'm pretty much wearing pajamas.
I do wear pajamas outside.
, don't worry.
I do coordinate.
So I'm not out here looking crazy.
(01:27):
, but they're just comfy.
They're just comfy.
They're just like an outfit, you know?
But I was like, let me just.
Actually put a fit on before Iget in here and talk with y'all.
So I digress.
First things first, what I want you to dois write down all the things you can't do.
And you might be saying, girl, whatthis got to do with live my best life.
Trust me, write down allthe things you can do.
I want to buy a million dollarhouse, but I can't do it
(01:50):
because I don't have the money.
I don't have the funds.
I don't have the resources.
I don't have the help.
I don't have the whatever.
Write it down.
Write everything down.
I want to be able to take mybabies on trips, but I can't
because . I don't have the help.
We live in a certainarea that's not feasible.
, I want to be able to work from home.
I can't because of thetype of job that I do.
I can't, etc, etc, etc.
Write it down.
(02:11):
Write down everything that you cannotdo because it's just not feasible.
And the reality is, , some thingsare not going to be feasible.
Some things are not going to bepossible for us, at least not right now.
So write down all thethings that you can't do.
And, when you're done writing downevery last thing that you cannot
do, because it's not gonna work foryou, write down next to it, all the
(02:35):
things you can do in that situation,
so, Learning how to reframe, restructureour minds around the things that we
feel like we can't do because can'tis a negative, so we're going to
take that out of our vocabulary.
Boop!
Okay, if you ever watched Love andBasketball, you know when the father told
Quincy, that's Omar Epps, uh, Omar F'scharacter when the father told Quincy
(02:59):
can't, it's not in a man's vocabulary.
Okay.
Well, can't is not inour vocabulary either.
We can do whatever we put our mindsto, we just have to restructure reframe
our conversations, the conversationswe're having with ourselves.
Okay.
So go ahead and take can't outof the situation and write down
what you can do in that situation.
Okay.
We're going to reframe, restructurewords that we speak to ourselves.
(03:25):
For example, I can't go out on aweeknight because I got to work.
Becomes, I may not want to goout on a weeknight because I have
to get to work in the morning.
However, I may say tomyself, I can go out.
I will go out.
On this week night, regardlessof whether I have work or not,
(03:47):
because I'm doing that for me.
I can do that.
And yes, I might be tired inthe morning, but you know what?
If I'm enjoying myself doing thethings I want to do for me, then
I'm living life on my own terms.
I'm taking control of my ownnarrative, because it's my
life after all, it's my life.
It's your life.
I can do that.
Another example you may say,
(04:08):
I can't do X, Y, and Z becauseI don't have the money.
Okay, fair enough.
However, another way that wecan frame that is right now,
what I can do is work toward it.
So what things can I do in that situation?
So I can't.
I can't buy the car of my dreamsbecause I can't afford it.
(04:33):
What I can do
I can work towards saving up money to buythat car of my dreams because when I buy
the car of my dreams, I want to be ableto buy it in cash preferably or be able
to put down a significant amount of moneytoward it so that way I'm not paying.
A car loan forever and ever and ever.
Because that's another gotcha,okay, with how they do us.
So, reframing the conversations aroundWhat we can actually do another one
(04:57):
for a lot of people might be I can'teat healthy because It's too hard.
It don't taste good, etc, etc, etcWe can reframe that and say I want to
live a healthier lifestyle and I cando that by Eliminating one thing out
of my diet right now and substitutingit with something that is healthier.
(05:18):
I can live a healthier lifestyleby getting out more often,
being a bit more active.
I ain't gotta be out hererunning a marathon, but I can
walk five to ten minutes a day.
Reframing, again, the conversation thatwe're having with ourselves because we
can do anything we put our minds to.
A lot of us, we tell our kids that.
You probably learned that as a kid.
If you didn't, I'm telling you right now.
(05:39):
You can do anything that you put yourmind to, but we have to believe it.
Second thing, use the confidence thatyou have in one area of your life
to fuel the other areas of your lifethat you may not feel as confident in.
For instance, I feellike I'm a great driver.
And I feel very comfortablebehind the wheel.
(06:01):
I gets busy when I drive when thereare other things that come up in my
life that I feel uncomfortable with, Itypically go back to the fact that at
one point I felt uncomfortable drivingand now I feel pretty good about that.
Quick story, when I was in high school,cause that's when I learned to drive, we
pulled up to the school, my mom and I,for some sort of parent teacher whatever.
(06:25):
And at the end of that, she let me, shewas like, I'm gonna let you drive home.
So, you know, my friends is outside, andyou know, walking around, and I wanna,
you know, I wanna stunt a little bit.
Like, I wanna look like,I'm, I wanna drive off.
Okay, cool.
So, I get in the car.
And I fumbled for too long.
I mean, when I say for too long, itmight have been like a minute or less.
And my mom was like, get out.
(06:46):
And I was like, mom, but I, you know,I need to, I need to flex a little bit.
I need to, I need to drive off in the car.
And she was like, no, get out of thecar because I don't have time to wait
for you to figure out how to drive.
That's a real story.
, but after that, , I learned how tofocus better , on my driving skills.
I didn't have a whole lot of timebehind the wheel to, practice.
(07:09):
I had driver's ed and whenever mymom would let me get behind the
car, which was not very often.
And so what I had to do was honein focus and on my skills, , when
I did get behind the wheel.
So I had to focus.
. And short story short, I wasable to learn how to drive and
I feel really good about that.
And so I usually will take those lifelessons that I got, , and extrapolate
(07:30):
that to something else that feels veryuncomfortable for me, that feels foreign.
Use my confidence in one area tohelp me build and gain confidence
in another area of my life.
Of the things that I don'thave as much confidence in, is
putting myself out there, buildinga female empowerment brand.
(07:51):
It's uncomfortable forme because it's new.
I empower people every singleday for what I do, but doing it
on a larger scale, doing it moreintentionally, doing outside of the
work that I do on a daily basis feelsuncomfortable for me for some reason.
And so I pull on my driving skills,I pull on the skills that I use
to empower people in a healthcaresetting and I'm using that to talk
(08:15):
to y'all because it's important.
Empowerment is important,especially for women.
And so understand that justbecause it is uncomfortable does
not mean that it's not possible.
Use the confidence that you havein one area of your life and
extrapolate that to something else.
You might be a great parent.
You may feel like, yo,parenting is hard because it is.
But I'm great at that.
(08:36):
I know what to do.
I know how to get busywhen I need to get busy.
I know how to be there for my kids.
I know how to do the homework.
I know how to hustle in thatarea and I'm great at that.
So extrapolate your confidence fromthat area to something else that
you may not feel confident about.
You may not feel confidentputting your ideas out there.
You may not feel confidentspeaking up at a meeting.
You may not feel confident meetingwith a new group of people.
(08:57):
Use that confidence that you have asa mom in another area of your life.
When your kids are not listening, and youneed to get them in line, you get stern.
Be stern with other peoplewhen they try to coerce you.
Okay, you can be respectful but sternwhen your children are having difficulties
speaking up for themselves finding theirvoice You know how to get in there and
(09:18):
help them find their voices use thatas a way to help you find your voice
.These are just some examples but things that we all can do to find areas in
our lives that we're very confident in.
It doesn't matter what itis, use those as tools to
empower yourself to move forward.
It's like your own personalmasterclass that you have created
to build your own confidence to getto the life that you want to live.
(09:43):
Because the life that you want to livecan be lived right now, today, today.
Because when you're, when you'redoing the things that you feel
real confident about, guess what?
You're living your bestlife in those moments.
You're living an awesomelife in those moments.
Whatever it is that you do well,you know you're doing it well and
you're feeling good about yourself.
Just use that and put it someplace else.
Lastly, we have to inquire often.
(10:07):
Ask questions because youdon't know what you don't know.
None of us do, and in orderto learn and know and grow, we
have to inquire, we have to ask.
, and that's uncomfortable.
, and more importantly, there is alot of fear and the discomfort.
I have a whole prompt in my journalabout fear, because it is a big
(10:27):
thing for a lot of us, working throughthe discomfort, the fear around.
Asking about the things that we don't knowanything about, for instance, an inquiry.
I like to watch house hunters, beachhunters, beach life, whatever, all
those things, I love to sit downwith my husband and watch those.
And I love to watch it becauseI'm looking at these beautiful
(10:48):
houses and I know it's fake.
Okay.
So don't, I already know it's not real.
However, I staged, but it's nice to watch.
It's nice to look at other partsof the world and how people are
making these decisions aboutbuying, these beautiful homes.
And there's a part of it, if I'm beinghonest, that is a bit uncomfortable.
Because I am not quite in a positionto buy a beach house, , buy an
(11:13):
extra family vacation home, , buya second home for whatever reason.
We're not there yet.
And so part of it is uncomfortablebecause I'm thinking about how I Would
like something like this and I now haveto create a framework in my mind as to
how I want to get there, it is likeI am looking because that's an inquiry,
(11:36):
What's up, y'all?
I know you're listening and I'mgonna let you finish, but the best
way to live the life that you wantis to get in tune with yourself.
Look yourself in the mirror anddiscover the beauty of you underneath.
Start today with the Mirror To Me journal.
I created it with you in mind.
It's filled with prompts, focuson maximum self discovery, self
reflection, and owning your self worth.
What's more important than that?
(11:57):
Leave the fluff at thedoor and get real with you.
Click on the link belowand get started today.
Oh, and don't forgetto tell me how it goes.
Yes, I know this is close,but it's that serious.
You may ask questions to somebody thatyou look up to who has the things that you
want It could be the job that you want.
It can be the opportunity that you wantIt could be the skills that you want
to have asking those questions Can makeyou uncomfortable and frankly scared,
(12:22):
But getting over the hump gettingover the discomfort of asking is
what is going to get us to control?
Our narrative in life because once weask, we get information and you cannot
unknow what, you know, I'm a firmbeliever in that inquire, ask questions.
The other day I went to yesterday.
(12:43):
Actually, I went to the farm with mymom, so usually we go to the farm at
least once a week to get our produce.
And they were having afarmer's market at the farm.
And there was a sister therewho was selling, she was selling
oils, body oils, and some otherthings that go with the body oils.
Fragrances and house fragrances, etc.
And, , I said something to her,like, you know, with the flames, I was
(13:06):
like, I can't really do this becauseI have kids, can't, should not be in
our vocabulary for this very reason.
So, I was like, I can't dothat because I have kids,
and she was like, well, I have six.
And I was like, girl, six?
Like, I have two.
And she's like, yes, I have six.
I just put it up higher sothey don't get to the flame.
So here I am telling myself.
Out loud that I can't light some flamesfor some fragrance because I have children
(13:27):
and she's telling me I have six childrenand I definitely light the flame to
give myself the scent, with no problem.
That was limiting the belief that Icreated and quickly went out the window.
Okay.
, so I asked her, I was like, damn, soI'm thinking as she's talking, she
was talking to my mom about some otherthings that my mom wanted to buy.
And I'm thinking to myself,damn, this woman got, she got
(13:48):
six kids and she's doing this.
Like, does she, does shedo other things for work?
Like how was, how was she making it work?
Because one of the things that I findto be challenging and it may very well
be just a limiting belief that I'mhaving is putting the time, effort, and
energy into building a brand focused onfemale empowerment because it is very
(14:12):
important to me while still working afull time job and being a full time mom
regardless of whether I'm at work or not.
So I asked her, I was like, Hey,you know, , you know, if it's
too personal, then don't answer.
But do you work?
Like, what do you do?
Do you do anything outsideof selling these goods?
And she was like, yeah, youknow, I, she works a job.
(14:33):
, and in addition to working thatjob when she need to make some
extra money, she works as a.
A driver for, the mail deliveryservices and , whatever she needs
to do is make some extra money.
And I was like, it was, I wouldhave never, , it was a realization
for me that I'm not alone.
, but also it empowered me becauseit allowed me to realize that
(14:57):
, I would have never known thatunless I had asked her and it
was uncomfortable for me to ask.
So I stepped outside of my comfort zone.
I essentially asked astranger a personal question.
, but I asked her that question becauseI was really intrigued because as
I'm on my own journey, I see anotherwoman who is an entrepreneur on hers.
And so I wanted to ask that question.
There is, A content creator, author,also, , Jamila Soufrant, who I listen
(15:22):
to her podcast, she has a financialpodcast and one of the things that she's
talked about early on when she startedwas that she had two kids and one on the
way when she started her, her platform.
And I often think about her and how shewas able to really get things started.
Having a job with a long commutelike I do, as well as having
(15:45):
young children, because evenwith help, having kids takes time.
It takes a lot of your time.
So I've wondered that.
, how she actually did it.
So to speak to another woman in personand , to be told in real time that you
are not alone, that you are just creating,like going back to the first thing,
, stop creating can'ts for yourself.
(16:08):
Because those can'ts are limiting beliefs.
Next to the things that you tellyourself that you can't do, write down
the things that you absolutely can do.
And in this particular situation,this woman pretty much said to me, I
don't care what your situation is.
You can make it happen if you wantto because she's making it happen.
So I really appreciated that.
Short and simple today.
Just some ways that we cancontrol our narrative because
(16:32):
it is of the utmost importance.
We have to stop living lifeon other people's terms.
We have to learn , within the frameworkof whatever our lives are, that our lives
are for us we can do all of the thingsthat we need to do, take care of all of
our responsibilities and still createa life worth living for us that feels
(16:55):
intentional, that feels full, that feelspromising, that feels amazing to us.
Write down your cans andsubstitute them with cans.
Use the confidence and expertise inone area of your life to ignite your
flame in another area of your lifethat you may not feel as confident in.
(17:16):
Okay.
And lastly, ask questions, inquireoften because this is how we learn.
You cannot unknow what you know, butyou do not know what you don't know.
Okay.
That's it today, y'all.
If you liked this episode, pleaselike, subscribe, share, tell a
friend to tell a friend and Iwill catch y'all on the next one.
Peace out.
Are you tired of living yourlife on somebody else's time, on
(00:02):
somebody else's terms, and you'reready to break up out of that?
Well then come on sis, get in herecause we're gonna talk about that today.
An empowered woman is a powerfulwoman, and when powerful women
unite, change happens for the better.
Welcome to the Come On,Sis, Let's Talk Talkspace.
You are now tuning in to Come On ,Sis,Let's Talk with your host, Syeeta.
(00:25):
What's up, y'all?
Welcome back to ComeUnstressed Let's Talk.
Today, we are talking aboutcontrolling our narratives for
us, for nobody else, but for us.
A lot of us feel like we arejust going through the motions.
We're just doing some things because theyneed to be done, especially once we get
into the productive years of our lives.
We're working, maybe we havefamilies, and we're doing all
the things that we're doing.
(00:45):
, I saw a dude the other day on socialmedia, And he talked about, women out
here, mom and hustling, mom and hustling,and not taking time for themselves.
And that's real, and I subscribe to that,sadly, but you gotta do what you gotta
do, a lot of us are just going through themotions, doing things that we need to do,
and we're not Feeling like we're livingthe lives that we're meant to be living,
(01:06):
we're not living our lives on purpose.
We're just doing things.
So today we're going to talk aboutsome ways to break up out of that.
, I ain't gonna lie to y'all.
I almost came to y'all with some pajamason because, , I like wearing pajamas.
They're really comfortablewhen I'm not at work.
, I'm pretty much wearing pajamas.
I do wear pajamas outside.
, don't worry.
I do coordinate.
So I'm not out here looking crazy.
(01:27):
, but they're just comfy.
They're just comfy.
They're just like an outfit, you know?
But I was like, let me just.
Actually put a fit on before Iget in here and talk with y'all.
So I digress.
First things first, what I want you to dois write down all the things you can't do.
And you might be saying, girl, whatthis got to do with live my best life.
Trust me, write down allthe things you can do.
I want to buy a million dollarhouse, but I can't do it
(01:50):
because I don't have the money.
I don't have the funds.
I don't have the resources.
I don't have the help.
I don't have the whatever.
Write it down.
Write everything down.
I want to be able to take mybabies on trips, but I can't
because . I don't have the help.
We live in a certainarea that's not feasible.
, I want to be able to work from home.
I can't because of thetype of job that I do.
I can't, etc, etc, etc.
Write it down.
(02:11):
Write down everything that you cannotdo because it's just not feasible.
And the reality is, , some thingsare not going to be feasible.
Some things are not going to bepossible for us, at least not right now.
So write down all thethings that you can't do.
And, when you're done writing downevery last thing that you cannot
do, because it's not gonna work foryou, write down next to it, all the
(02:35):
things you can do in that situation,
so, Learning how to reframe, restructureour minds around the things that we
feel like we can't do because can'tis a negative, so we're going to
take that out of our vocabulary.
Boop!
Okay, if you ever watched Love andBasketball, you know when the father told
Quincy, that's Omar Epps, uh, Omar F'scharacter when the father told Quincy
(02:59):
can't, it's not in a man's vocabulary.
Okay.
Well, can't is not inour vocabulary either.
We can do whatever we put our mindsto, we just have to restructure reframe
our conversations, the conversationswe're having with ourselves.
Okay.
So go ahead and take can't outof the situation and write down
what you can do in that situation.
Okay.
We're going to reframe, restructurewords that we speak to ourselves.
(03:25):
For example, I can't go out on aweeknight because I got to work.
Becomes, I may not want to goout on a weeknight because I have
to get to work in the morning.
However, I may say tomyself, I can go out.
I will go out.
On this week night, regardlessof whether I have work or not,
(03:47):
because I'm doing that for me.
I can do that.
And yes, I might be tired inthe morning, but you know what?
If I'm enjoying myself doing thethings I want to do for me, then
I'm living life on my own terms.
I'm taking control of my ownnarrative, because it's my
life after all, it's my life.
It's your life.
I can do that.
Another example you may say,
(04:08):
I can't do X, Y, and Z becauseI don't have the money.
Okay, fair enough.
However, another way that wecan frame that is right now,
what I can do is work toward it.
So what things can I do in that situation?
So I can't.
I can't buy the car of my dreamsbecause I can't afford it.
(04:33):
What I can do
I can work towards saving up money to buythat car of my dreams because when I buy
the car of my dreams, I want to be ableto buy it in cash preferably or be able
to put down a significant amount of moneytoward it so that way I'm not paying.
A car loan forever and ever and ever.
Because that's another gotcha,okay, with how they do us.
So, reframing the conversations aroundWhat we can actually do another one
(04:57):
for a lot of people might be I can'teat healthy because It's too hard.
It don't taste good, etc, etc, etcWe can reframe that and say I want to
live a healthier lifestyle and I cando that by Eliminating one thing out
of my diet right now and substitutingit with something that is healthier.
(05:18):
I can live a healthier lifestyleby getting out more often,
being a bit more active.
I ain't gotta be out hererunning a marathon, but I can
walk five to ten minutes a day.
Reframing, again, the conversation thatwe're having with ourselves because we
can do anything we put our minds to.
A lot of us, we tell our kids that.
You probably learned that as a kid.
If you didn't, I'm telling you right now.
(05:39):
You can do anything that you put yourmind to, but we have to believe it.
Second thing, use the confidence thatyou have in one area of your life
to fuel the other areas of your lifethat you may not feel as confident in.
For instance, I feellike I'm a great driver.
And I feel very comfortablebehind the wheel.
(06:01):
I gets busy when I drive when thereare other things that come up in my
life that I feel uncomfortable with, Itypically go back to the fact that at
one point I felt uncomfortable drivingand now I feel pretty good about that.
Quick story, when I was in high school,cause that's when I learned to drive, we
pulled up to the school, my mom and I,for some sort of parent teacher whatever.
(06:25):
And at the end of that, she let me, shewas like, I'm gonna let you drive home.
So, you know, my friends is outside, andyou know, walking around, and I wanna,
you know, I wanna stunt a little bit.
Like, I wanna look like,I'm, I wanna drive off.
Okay, cool.
So, I get in the car.
And I fumbled for too long.
I mean, when I say for too long, itmight have been like a minute or less.
And my mom was like, get out.
(06:46):
And I was like, mom, but I, you know,I need to, I need to flex a little bit.
I need to, I need to drive off in the car.
And she was like, no, get out of thecar because I don't have time to wait
for you to figure out how to drive.
That's a real story.
, but after that, , I learned how tofocus better , on my driving skills.
I didn't have a whole lot of timebehind the wheel to, practice.
(07:09):
I had driver's ed and whenever mymom would let me get behind the
car, which was not very often.
And so what I had to do was honein focus and on my skills, , when
I did get behind the wheel.
So I had to focus.
. And short story short, I wasable to learn how to drive and
I feel really good about that.
And so I usually will take those lifelessons that I got, , and extrapolate
(07:30):
that to something else that feels veryuncomfortable for me, that feels foreign.
Use my confidence in one area tohelp me build and gain confidence
in another area of my life.
Of the things that I don'thave as much confidence in, is
putting myself out there, buildinga female empowerment brand.
(07:51):
It's uncomfortable forme because it's new.
I empower people every singleday for what I do, but doing it
on a larger scale, doing it moreintentionally, doing outside of the
work that I do on a daily basis feelsuncomfortable for me for some reason.
And so I pull on my driving skills,I pull on the skills that I use
to empower people in a healthcaresetting and I'm using that to talk
(08:15):
to y'all because it's important.
Empowerment is important,especially for women.
And so understand that justbecause it is uncomfortable does
not mean that it's not possible.
Use the confidence that you havein one area of your life and
extrapolate that to something else.
You might be a great parent.
You may feel like, yo,parenting is hard because it is.
But I'm great at that.
(08:36):
I know what to do.
I know how to get busywhen I need to get busy.
I know how to be there for my kids.
I know how to do the homework.
I know how to hustle in thatarea and I'm great at that.
So extrapolate your confidence fromthat area to something else that
you may not feel confident about.
You may not feel confidentputting your ideas out there.
You may not feel confidentspeaking up at a meeting.
You may not feel confident meetingwith a new group of people.
(08:57):
Use that confidence that you have asa mom in another area of your life.
When your kids are not listening, and youneed to get them in line, you get stern.
Be stern with other peoplewhen they try to coerce you.
Okay, you can be respectful but sternwhen your children are having difficulties
speaking up for themselves finding theirvoice You know how to get in there and
(09:18):
help them find their voices use thatas a way to help you find your voice
.These are just some examples but things that we all can do to find areas in
our lives that we're very confident in.
It doesn't matter what itis, use those as tools to
empower yourself to move forward.
It's like your own personalmasterclass that you have created
to build your own confidence to getto the life that you want to live.
(09:43):
Because the life that you want to livecan be lived right now, today, today.
Because when you're, when you'redoing the things that you feel
real confident about, guess what?
You're living your bestlife in those moments.
You're living an awesomelife in those moments.
Whatever it is that you do well,you know you're doing it well and
you're feeling good about yourself.
Just use that and put it someplace else.
Lastly, we have to inquire often.
(10:07):
Ask questions because youdon't know what you don't know.
None of us do, and in orderto learn and know and grow, we
have to inquire, we have to ask.
, and that's uncomfortable.
, and more importantly, there is alot of fear and the discomfort.
I have a whole prompt in my journalabout fear, because it is a big
(10:27):
thing for a lot of us, working throughthe discomfort, the fear around.
Asking about the things that we don't knowanything about, for instance, an inquiry.
I like to watch house hunters, beachhunters, beach life, whatever, all
those things, I love to sit downwith my husband and watch those.
And I love to watch it becauseI'm looking at these beautiful
(10:48):
houses and I know it's fake.
Okay.
So don't, I already know it's not real.
However, I staged, but it's nice to watch.
It's nice to look at other partsof the world and how people are
making these decisions aboutbuying, these beautiful homes.
And there's a part of it, if I'm beinghonest, that is a bit uncomfortable.
Because I am not quite in a positionto buy a beach house, , buy an
(11:13):
extra family vacation home, , buya second home for whatever reason.
We're not there yet.
And so part of it is uncomfortablebecause I'm thinking about how I Would
like something like this and I now haveto create a framework in my mind as to
how I want to get there, it is likeI am looking because that's an inquiry,
(11:36):
What's up, y'all?
I know you're listening and I'mgonna let you finish, but the best
way to live the life that you wantis to get in tune with yourself.
Look yourself in the mirror anddiscover the beauty of you underneath.
Start today with the Mirror To Me journal.
I created it with you in mind.
It's filled with prompts, focuson maximum self discovery, self
reflection, and owning your self worth.
What's more important than that?
(11:57):
Leave the fluff at thedoor and get real with you.
Click on the link belowand get started today.
Oh, and don't forgetto tell me how it goes.
Yes, I know this is close,but it's that serious.
You may ask questions to somebody thatyou look up to who has the things that you
want It could be the job that you want.
It can be the opportunity that you wantIt could be the skills that you want
to have asking those questions Can makeyou uncomfortable and frankly scared,
(12:22):
But getting over the hump gettingover the discomfort of asking is
what is going to get us to control?
Our narrative in life because once weask, we get information and you cannot
unknow what, you know, I'm a firmbeliever in that inquire, ask questions.
The other day I went to yesterday.
(12:43):
Actually, I went to the farm with mymom, so usually we go to the farm at
least once a week to get our produce.
And they were having afarmer's market at the farm.
And there was a sister therewho was selling, she was selling
oils, body oils, and some otherthings that go with the body oils.
Fragrances and house fragrances, etc.
And, , I said something to her,like, you know, with the flames, I was
(13:06):
like, I can't really do this becauseI have kids, can't, should not be in
our vocabulary for this very reason.
So, I was like, I can't dothat because I have kids,
and she was like, well, I have six.
And I was like, girl, six?
Like, I have two.
And she's like, yes, I have six.
I just put it up higher sothey don't get to the flame.
So here I am telling myself.
Out loud that I can't light some flamesfor some fragrance because I have children
(13:27):
and she's telling me I have six childrenand I definitely light the flame to
give myself the scent, with no problem.
That was limiting the belief that Icreated and quickly went out the window.
Okay.
, so I asked her, I was like, damn, soI'm thinking as she's talking, she
was talking to my mom about some otherthings that my mom wanted to buy.
And I'm thinking to myself,damn, this woman got, she got
(13:48):
six kids and she's doing this.
Like, does she, does shedo other things for work?
Like how was, how was she making it work?
Because one of the things that I findto be challenging and it may very well
be just a limiting belief that I'mhaving is putting the time, effort, and
energy into building a brand focused onfemale empowerment because it is very
(14:12):
important to me while still working afull time job and being a full time mom
regardless of whether I'm at work or not.
So I asked her, I was like, Hey,you know, , you know, if it's
too personal, then don't answer.
But do you work?
Like, what do you do?
Do you do anything outsideof selling these goods?
And she was like, yeah, youknow, I, she works a job.
(14:33):
, and in addition to working thatjob when she need to make some
extra money, she works as a.
A driver for, the mail deliveryservices and , whatever she needs
to do is make some extra money.
And I was like, it was, I wouldhave never, , it was a realization
for me that I'm not alone.
, but also it empowered me becauseit allowed me to realize that
(14:57):
, I would have never known thatunless I had asked her and it
was uncomfortable for me to ask.
So I stepped outside of my comfort zone.
I essentially asked astranger a personal question.
, but I asked her that question becauseI was really intrigued because as
I'm on my own journey, I see anotherwoman who is an entrepreneur on hers.
And so I wanted to ask that question.
There is, A content creator, author,also, , Jamila Soufrant, who I listen
(15:22):
to her podcast, she has a financialpodcast and one of the things that she's
talked about early on when she startedwas that she had two kids and one on the
way when she started her, her platform.
And I often think about her and how shewas able to really get things started.
Having a job with a long commutelike I do, as well as having
(15:45):
young children, because evenwith help, having kids takes time.
It takes a lot of your time.
So I've wondered that.
, how she actually did it.
So to speak to another woman in personand , to be told in real time that you
are not alone, that you are just creating,like going back to the first thing,
, stop creating can'ts for yourself.
(16:08):
Because those can'ts are limiting beliefs.
Next to the things that you tellyourself that you can't do, write down
the things that you absolutely can do.
And in this particular situation,this woman pretty much said to me, I
don't care what your situation is.
You can make it happen if you wantto because she's making it happen.
So I really appreciated that.
Short and simple today.
Just some ways that we cancontrol our narrative because
(16:32):
it is of the utmost importance.
We have to stop living lifeon other people's terms.
We have to learn , within the frameworkof whatever our lives are, that our lives
are for us we can do all of the thingsthat we need to do, take care of all of
our responsibilities and still createa life worth living for us that feels
(16:55):
intentional, that feels full, that feelspromising, that feels amazing to us.
Write down your cans andsubstitute them with cans.
Use the confidence and expertise inone area of your life to ignite your
flame in another area of your lifethat you may not feel as confident in.
(17:16):
Okay.
And lastly, ask questions, inquireoften because this is how we learn.
You cannot unknow what you know, butyou do not know what you don't know.
Okay.
That's it today, y'all.
If you liked this episode, pleaselike, subscribe, share, tell a
friend to tell a friend and Iwill catch y'all on the next one.
Peace out.
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