June 6, 2025 • 32 mins
What happens when creative collaboration crosses a line?
In this episode, I sat down with Coach Juliana to read and react to some of the most dramatic, cringe-worthy, and thought-provoking AITA (Am I The Ahole) posts from Reddit, all with an artistic twist.
We cover:
- The ethics of using someone else’s poetry for your songs
- How to set boundaries in creative relationships
- When inspiration becomes a violation of trust
- Singing in a language you don’t speak
If you’ve ever had someone cross a line with your work—or if you’ve ever wondered if you might have crossed one yourself—this one’s for you.
🎧 Tune in for real talk, tough love, and a little creative chaos.
👉 Want to make practicing easier? Grab our FREE warm up track here: https://lessons.voxtapestudios.com/free-warm-up-track
👉 Not sure what your voice needs to improve? Get a vocal evaluation from our professional coaches here: https://lessons.voxtapestudios.com/vocal-evaluation
👉 Book a 1:1 session with Coach Lara: https://lessons.voxtapestudios.com/trial-lesson
🔔 Subscribe & follow for new episodes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
top comment here oh sweet summer child where to start
oh yeah you're the asshole
hey Vox star and welcome to from singer to artist
I'm Lara Chapman award winning singer and songwriter
(00:21):
turned viral vocal coach and the host of this show
at Vox Tape Studios
we help singers from all over the world
level up their voice
by teaching them the 3 fundamental skills
all singers need vocal technique
awareness and artistry
whether you're looking to go pro with your singing
or just develop your voice for fun
my team and I are here to help
(00:42):
just check the link in the description below
to book your first session
or grab some of our other resources alright
are you ready let's get started
I'm here with Coach Juliana from our team
hello and beautiful Los Angeles your home
my house yes yes
there you go my apartment there you go your apartment
I love it I love it
and today we've got some fun Reddit stories for you
(01:08):
the theme for today's Reddit stories is artistry oh
my favorite yes
we got we got three stories that we're gonna look at
and I'm just
I'm super excited to to dig right in and and get your
get your input on this cool
so are you ready yes alright
let's do it first one am I the asshole
(01:30):
for using my girlfriend's high school poetry
to write an amazing song
hmm okay okay
you know just like just hearing this I'm like
I don't know tell me more
tell me more tell me more
exactly tell me more
hey guys
I just Learned about this sub from my girlfriend
and was hoping for some input
because she won't talk to me right now
I hope she sees this and understands that
(01:53):
she's being really dramatic right now
my girlfriend is an incredible poet
she's been writing since she was in elementary school
and has won contests and awards well
I'm a musician so it works out perfect
I can write good melodies and sing well
but I suck with words
my girlfriend helped me write a couple songs
last summer and my followers loved them
(02:15):
I played them live too so we moved in together in March
which seems a little soon
I know I don't know how long you've been dating
but whatever but once the current situation hit
we said fuck it
and had her move in with me
because her parents were assholes
like raised by narcissists
status shit anyways
(02:36):
as I was helping her unpack her stuff at my place
I noticed a really old shoe box
as I started to open it
my girlfriend freaked out and snatched the box from me
I laughed asking what was so special about it
because she was acting like she saw a ghost
when she got super defensive and told me it was quote
bad poetry I wrote in middle school and high school
(02:58):
that I'm only holding on to for sentimental value
but I don't want anyone to see it
end quote not unquote
end quote um
I tried to convince her to let me read it
but she just made but it just made her more mad
so I dropped it I couldn't stop being curious though
it was like that shoebox started to taunt me
(03:21):
I eventually waited until she went to work from
oh I eventually waited until she went to work from home
on her laptop in her spare bedroom
to finally go through all the notebooks
some of it was really cringe yeah
but some of it was seriously
just as good as her current writing
so all throughout last week
(03:42):
I started working on a new song
based on her old poetry the song turned out so awesome
so I posted it on Soundcloud to all
and linked to all my social media accounts
and my fans adored it
I showed her the good reception it was getting
so she could see how incredible of a teen poet she was
(04:02):
and she flipped the fuck out
she threatened to take me to court for plagiarism
if I didn't take it down right away
which I did but now
she's telling me to take down the other two songs
she helped me write because she quote
can't look at me right now
all I did was show her her talent
show her how talented she's always been
(04:22):
and now she's messaging all
of her friends looking for a couch to crash on
I really love this girl I don't want her to leave
I've apologized but she says I'm full of it
hopefully
some honest internet feedback will help her understand
this isn't worth losing a good thing over
am I the asshole here guys
(04:43):
we have an edit not an update
OK but an edit
oh God is it worse
edit I think you guys are being way too harsh
and should hear the song before judging
I'll upload it again and link it when I get the chance
because right now my PC is busted
and my mobile data is too shitty to do it okay sure
(05:07):
haha
wow
yes you're an asshole major
what the hell
she told you not to like hmm
you just invaded someone's privacy
that is fucked up that is fucked up
so I get it man
I'm a curious person like if you're like
(05:30):
well let's not get into that right now
or it's like you know
just like
yeah you're giving me a little nugget
and now I want to know everything about it yeah
or someone text you I have to talk to you and like
oh about what
I'll tell you tomorrow like no
tell me now like now I can call them now now
now now
now now
oh absolutely
I hate getting those texts
don't ever do that to me please
just call me OK
not like hey
(05:51):
can we talk or like hey
can we talk it's about blah blah blah blah blah right
and just like the theme yeah
you know like what it's
we don't need to know all the details right now
but I at least need to know what it's gonna be about
right so don't ever do that OK
anyways I
I so get it but man
(06:11):
you can't you you just can't you can't do that yeah
no major major major red flag
like that's
and the fact that he's like doubling down on
you guys are dramatic you guys are like no
you are wrong yeah
I mean don't go to Reddit and ask for feedback
or someone's opinion yeah
(06:32):
if you're like not open to receiving it exactly
exactly and also
don't ever say my girlfriend is acting dramatic like
you just dug your own grave yes
don't do that yes
you did I you know
it might seem like whoa
she's moving out or crashing on other people's yeah
(06:54):
couches or whatever it's like from this one incident
you know it might it might be like wow
that's a that's a big thing
but man
I don't think he understands the ground how he just
how major this yeah
this is like I she specifically asked him not to not to
(07:14):
mm hmm
and then you go and do it anyways
mm hmm
that's just it shows your character
yeah
like if that's one thing that might be little you know
what else could he do in the future
yes that could be major
but also okay
well let's let's
let's try
let's put this situation in a different context
(07:38):
I don't know
this is the only thing I can think of right now
so you have a car it's the color red
and your boyfriend has the idea to change it to green
because he just loves green yeah
it's your car he has his own car
it's your car yeah
and he wants your car to be green
and you're like actually no
I really love my red car I don't want a green car
(08:01):
and then one day
you come home and your car is fucking green
now
I know this is this is a stupid example
but I'm like I'm
I'm trying to like put it in a
in a way where it's like well
if you look at it that way
that's stupid yeah
like why would you do that
it's not your car
and I told you not to and I told you not to yeah
(08:23):
so why did you just go ahead and do it anyways
yeah cause he
he thinks that he's right
and his vision isn't more important
like so what
and I I just
I like to play devil's advocate and like take
like put myself in his shoes too
even though it's a major royal fuck up
(08:44):
but he's like but I'm like
I was trying to show her how good that was like her
her older poetry and blah blah
blah blah
like yeah
I get that like there
there were no like bad intentions behind it
you know it's not like he took the poetry
like the worst thing
like the cringiest thing he could find
and then made a song out of it and
you know made
made fun of her that way
like that would be even more major like wow dude
(09:07):
what the heck yeah
um he didn't do that
he was like well
but look how good this is like yeah
I get it if
you know if I'm
if I'm putting myself in his shoes
like
there were technically good intentions there of like
wow this is good
but you never should have known in the first place
if this is good or not good
exactly that that was the first mistake
(09:29):
yeah exactly
yeah I mean
I I think it's similar in a way
I find it really
really problematic when the family or teams of like um
musicians or singers that pass away
they release like post death
(09:49):
what is it post you who
I don't know the word after they die
they release stuff that they were working on or like
long archived stuff and a lot of them say like
I don't want this out
and they still put it out to get money out of it
I'm like it's similar in a way
like the artist that owns the music
(10:11):
the words whatever it is that that is
that should be the only say
like if I say I don't want this out
it's not out yeah
you know I mean
it's obviously a Soundcloud release
it's not the same but still valid
like if she doesn't want that out there
no fair no
(10:32):
delete it immediately
burn it you know
I feel like it'd be one thing'cause like again
he had with the song
he had good intentions yeah
like let's
let's put aside
the fact that he just crossed a major boundary
but you know
he had good intentions there
but to get to that
maybe give it some time you know
(10:53):
like you don't have to look at this poetry right
this very moment exactly
but like give it some time
and maybe bring it up again a little bit later in
in the relationship
when there's maybe a little bit more trust
and just wait for her
until she's ready to share it with you
and if that never is the case
that's never the case and that's okay too
exactly but
she might get to the point where she feels comfortable
(11:15):
sharing it with you
and then you can go make your song
why do you have to do it right this very moment
yeah it's very kind of like childish
like immature super childish
like you were told no and now you wanna do it even more
like okay
yeah grow up
yeah very much so
well top comment here
(11:35):
oh sweet summer child
where to start oh yeah
you're the asshole and then in
they're referring to specific parts of what he wrote
um I hope she sees this and understands
she's being really dramatic right now
oh boy
that is not how you achieve that
you're the asshole she told you not to look at it
(11:56):
made that perfectly clear in all caps
and you waited until she turned her back
so that you could disregard her wishes
it's clear
you never even considered respecting her demand
for privacy you're the asshole
you then took it one step further
took that one thing she didn't want you to share
she didn't want to share even with her boyfriend
(12:17):
and then you shared it on Soundcloud
you're the asshole quick mention for the quote
some of it was really cringe
just to bring her down a bit more
sorry for not sugar coating it
but you are a massive asshole
if I were her
I would never be able to trust you ever again
this is one of the most narcissistic
(12:38):
am I the asshole I've read in a long time
yeah again
you're the asshole yeah
and it's so funny cause he says in the beginning
that she moved in with him
because her parents were not
like narcissistic or something like that
oh
yeah that's interesting
pot calling the kettle black
(13:02):
there's another one I eventually waited
until she went to work from home
on her laptop in her spare time
to finally go through all of the notebooks
you're the asshole
JFC
what's that mean don't know
you snooped in stuff she explicitly told you not to
and then recorded it
(13:23):
and published it on your social media
all I did was show her
her how talented she's always been nope
here's what you did and then there's bullet points
first teach her she can't trust you second
disrespect her wishes third
invade her privacy fourth
(13:43):
publish her private thoughts
slash words without her permission
and fifth publish her words as your own
yeah you're a huge gaping asshole yeah
oh and then um
to op to OP's edit
do not upload her song here or the song here
(14:05):
and further violate her and just
and disrespect her wishes
you have to be a troll the song doesn't matter
it could be freaking Bohemian Rhapsody
and it wouldn't change a damn thing
wow if you like
he needs to say it yes
(14:26):
pickle the cactus as you named him
pickle the cactus pickle the cactus
you're the asshole you're the asshole
there you go there you go hahaha yeah
you have to like turn it off at the bottom again
so it doesn't keep going I love him
well there you go
that's now your little special friend um
(14:47):
and you're gonna give us the verdict every time
if these dudes
if these people are the asshole or not that
oh wait I'm gonna keep it then yes
keep it keep it
little support emotional support
no pickle
pickle the cactus I love him
I love it
alright well
I think this is pretty clear
I think we can move on to the next story
(15:08):
yeah okay
am I the asshole
for not wanting my friends to post her singing video
online okay
I think we need a lot more information here
so let's dig right into it
my friend is an aspiring musician
she posts covers on YouTube
sings for donations to charity organizations
and occasionally performs her own music
(15:30):
occasionally we quote unquote collaborate
I'm honestly not much of a musician
I just tell her my opinion on how a song sounds
and how it could be better
last week I pulled a muscle in my leg
and I had to be in the hospital overnight
for observation my friend
my friend came to visit me
and she brought along her ukulele
(15:51):
to sing a small part of her newest song
just to see what I thought
I didn't know this at the time
but her mom filmed the whole thing
and they told me that they were going to post it on
YouTube
I didn't really want this because 1
I looked horrible
it was the morning I was about to leave
so I felt bad
(16:11):
my leg was still somewhat swollen etcetera 2
I didn't feel comfortable being on camera
especially in the hospital
when I brought up these concerns to my friend
she agreed not to post it
but told me that she thought my reasons were shallow
her exact words were
the fact that you don't want me to post it
just because of how you look
(16:33):
feels selfish
and that it felt like I didn't support her career
we're still friends but things have been tense
am I the asshole
not the asshole not the asshole yeah
I love him hahaha
(16:55):
I agree I agree
so break it down for me why do you think this is
similar thing to the previous one
mm hmm first off
this poor person didn't know they were being recorded
they did not consent that's huge
I mean you just don't do that
that's not okay not okay
(17:15):
especially if you're gonna put it online and promote it
and try and get something out of that
like that that's very wrong
if that's what you wanted to do
you would have asked them
and they probably would have said no
but at least you would have known yeah
and I don't think I just it's just wrong yeah
(17:37):
I I think yeah
this singer whoever this person is is just very
very yeah very
you know I get it
you know these days
you you see a lot of content on social media
where people are filming reactions of other people
hearing their song for the first time
and there are some where
(17:58):
they don't initially know that they're being recorded
it like I
I I get that she
she probably saw that somewhere and was like
oh I want to do that too
and this is such a good opportunity to do it because
you know hospital
and then automatically people are more compassionate
because somebody's at the hospital like yeah
I have to say
I understand this person's thought process
(18:20):
yeah I do
but you have to respect your friend's wishes
then OP's um
wishes
to then not share it and not hold that against them
yeah and be like hey
I get it I'm not gonna post it
and it's not selfish not to want that out there
(18:42):
like it's no at their most vulnerable state
they were not prepared
like no
like there's just yeah
and you know saying like
it feels like I don't support her career
not true dude
like you like it seems like this is not the first time
(19:05):
um you know
they say like you know
I usually just give her my opinion on
if the song sounds good and how it could be better
right like
so this is not like
something weird and unique and whatever
also you know
you can also say like man
it's selfish on your part to be like hey
(19:26):
I'm taking advantage of your hospital situation
right now that's awful
and I'm gonna go do this yeah right
like it's awful again
the road goes both ways yeah
it can we can look at it that way too
it's like well
actually you're the selfish person
because you are taking advantage of my situation
right now for your gain
mm hmm
that's also selfish Yep
(19:48):
agreed well
not the asshole let's see here top comment
not the asshole she pretended
she wanted to comfort you with her singing
but it was really just a ploy
so she could get some clout online
for singing to someone in a hospital
there you go exactly
(20:08):
your reasons are valid she's being very selfish
yup ta da agreed
wow
terrible friend
yeah and you know
here's the thing like
I don't think that this is something that you should
quote unquote break up over
break up in the meaning like in the sense of like
you're no longer friends right
talk about it
(20:28):
I don't I don't think like if everybody makes mistakes
yeah and we are allowed to make mistakes
it's it's okay
mm hmm we can learn from them
this is not such a royal fuck up where it's like
well there's no coming back from this
mm hmm no matter like
even if you've never made a mistake before whatever
like this is not yeah
(20:52):
that big of a deal
like it would be crazy had she posted it anyways right
that would have been that would have been crazy
but she didn't and was like
well I just I think you're selfish
you know she was frustrated with it and I and I get it
but that's not like that's something that can be
but hopefully she learns from it and be like okay
next time I'm gonna ask if I can record this person
(21:12):
yeah you know yeah
that's better yeah
they they they can learn from it
consent is important people yes
it sure is they can learn from it
and also when you said everybody makes mistakes
I thought of Hannah Montana immediately
yes and my mind went like there for like five seconds
and I had to come back yeah
no I get that I don't blame you
I don't blame you immediate throwback
(21:33):
but yeah I think they can work through this and
and still be friends and things
you know she says like things have been tight uh tense
sorry things have been tense
it's like well yeah right now
but if that's gonna pass
and especially if you talk about it
she's like yeah OK
yeah and hopefully she understands why it's wrong yeah
you know
even if she needs a week to get there get over it
(21:55):
she'll get yeah over it yeah
I love it well cool not the asshole
if you've heard of any crazy singing
or music related stories
or maybe even experienced them yourself
then please send them our way at support at vox
tap studios.com we'd love to share your story
and dissect it with everybody
here on the show of course
(22:15):
all anonymously okay
this one I'm really excited to hear your take on this
so for everybody who doesn't know
Juliana is Colombian originally living in Los Angeles
yeah you have no accent whatsoever
it comes out at times every now and then
but you know like it's it's
it's so cool how like your
(22:37):
obviously your Spanish is perfect
because that's your mother tongue
yes and your English is also very perfect
I could say the same thing about you well
thank you there you go
we're in similar shoes we're in similar shoes
but this story here is about singing in Spanish okay
so I am I'm very excited to hear your take on this
(22:58):
so let's get into it
am I the asshole for singing in Spanish
although I can't speak it
so backstory first
I rewatched both narco series on Netflix
and I ended up downloading several songs
from the soundtrack I love all kinds of music
and I got really into the dramatic songs
(23:18):
like the intro Tuyo or no
me Hablas de Este Amor
that was terrible I'm sorry
I sing along to my music when I'm working or alone
and one day I recently
one day recently
a friend overheard me singing one of the Spanish songs
her mother is from Mexico
(23:39):
and she speaks Spanish herself
and she got offended
and said that I was being racist by singing a language
I don't know I had looked up the lyrics to the song
and
had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly
and what they meant
I certainly didn't mean to come across as racist
I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals
(24:02):
I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious
to a native speaker
but I wasn't trying to mock or accent
or anything like that
I explained myself to my friend and she understood
but she still maintains that what I'm doing is racist
and I should stop
we have an edit wow
okay do we want to get into the edit
or do you want to give us through the edit
(24:23):
okay edit
I was definitely shocked to see a unanimous okay
hold on that already goes into the not the asshole
there you go not the asshole
there you go hahaha
there you go yes
oh my God hahaha
stunning stunning
so let's let's go into the the edit yes
(24:44):
I was definitely shocked to see a unanimous
not the asshole in the comments when I woke up
there are a few things I should clarify
after reading through these comments
my friend and I aren't from America
this is a disagreement and not a big deal between us
this is the first time she's taking a stance
against me on something like that
and we have agreed to disagree
(25:06):
living in a small rural area in a mostly white country
I can understand her sensitivity
and why she might have felt I was disrespecting her
this post was more for me to find out if I should stop
should stop singing in Spanish altogether
or just around her thanks to everyone who replied wow
okay
(25:26):
I don't think there's anything
wrong with singing a language that you don't know
but you like yeah
I sing in French Italian
whatever other language I can think of
exactly
there's nothing wrong
I think it's appreciating side aside of the culture
(25:48):
like I think Lady Gaga was singing at uh the
the Olympics Olympics
oh beautiful
stunning amazing
I don't did she
how is that French or not
but maybe not but how is that racist
what if the song is racist
OK well yeah
that's different
she took it to that next step and was like hey
(26:08):
I looked up the lyrics
so that I know more or less what they mean right
I worked on the pronunciation of them too
yeah sure
to a native speaker it's not perfect
but like she's trying yeah
and it's not offensive I think it's
I think it's sweet I think like
sometimes students have come to me
because they really like a Spanish song
(26:29):
and then I help them pronounce it better and like
understand it better yeah
I love that I think it's really cool
like even in music school
we had to learn different
well not different languages
but we learn different songs in different languages
because it makes you a better singer
yes different vowel shapes yes
different you know
ways of connecting phrases
(26:50):
it's I yeah
not the asshole at all you know
I'm very glad that you're saying this because otherwise
I would have been an asshole my entire childhood
because I only sang songs in English
and I did not speak English same
oh wait
I did but not fully
but like yeah
it wasn't my language it wasn't my culture
(27:11):
but what's the difference between
you know like a German speaking kid
right for me singing in English
or an English speaking person singing in Spanish
same thing like
you know uh
like it's definitely not racist
I think racist is definitely the wrong word here
more like cultural appropriation
(27:32):
if I feel like it would be more
more aware this goes into rather than racist
but even then like
I don't think it's more like cultural appreciation
not appropriation yeah
yeah yeah
so there's there's
I understand that
there can be a fine line between the two sometimes
but yeah
(27:53):
yeah I feel like sometimes people are just
they take things too far or like hypersensitive to
to that you know
on those topics
I think the more people know our culture
the better cause it's beautiful
yeah I love that
I love that and
you know again
like she went the extra mile
(28:13):
like to learn it that is so sweet
I wanna hear it I know
I know and um
well kind of going like relating to the story but
but let's take it a step further
let's say that this person is an artist
and they are putting out music
(28:34):
they're releasing music and they speak English and they
they don't speak Spanish
but they decide to release a song in Spanish
does the same thing still apply for you I think so
again that's probably just my personal opinion
I remember clearly
hearing versions of songs that I loved
(28:56):
in both languages hmm
and be like oh
they know my they know my language
that's really cool and that made me more of a fan
hmm like it happened with Selena Gomez
even though she was I mean
she is Latina but
you know you grow up listening to her in English right
um
Ariana Grande oh really
(29:17):
she has songs in Spanish oh
I didn't know that yeah
didn't Christina Aguilera
yeah but she got ripped to shreds
but funny enough her dad is from Ecuador
like she is Latina hmm
I was like why
why I just
people are mean just let people live and enjoy
(29:37):
I know they're not doing anything wrong
like why are you getting so offended by it
why are you taking it so personally
like this is yeah
this is something that felt right for them and was
they felt true to them
and a side of themselves that they wanted to share
yeah um
even if they're not exactly um
(29:58):
don't have the Spanish speaking background
you know still it's like
it's what they enjoyed and I'm like
if Lady Gaga can sing um
in French at the Paris Olympics
then why can't exactly yeah
yep agreed
yeah the more the merrier
(30:18):
there's so many languages other than English
um yeah
so not the asshole live your life baby
have fun yes
do what you want and I like that
you know and it's like well
do I wanna like
should I stop singing Spanish all together
or just around her
(30:39):
and I love that that comes from a place of respect too
like if you know that this bothers your friends
and you can agree to disagree right
which is what they're saying
um then just don't do it in front of her right
and and don't like
rub it in her face if you know that
this person is clearly uncomfortable with it
we're all entitled to like
we can all have our own opinions absolutely
but we have to respect each other's opinions
(31:01):
yeah and this seems very healthy and grown up
and yeah I like that person
yes
way to go being an adult on the internet
yeah yeah awesome
I love to see it well
so those are our little artistry uh
stories
overall I would say respect people's boundaries
(31:23):
yeah
do what feels right to you
and that's pretty much it
yeah just be nice
be nice wow
is that a theme that's our theme
like are you saying that like
I really like I have to start being nice
you're like so nice oh
my God yeah hahaha
(31:43):
there you go be nice
everybody be kind no exceptions
no like my mom says
always be kind no exceptions
and live your life be true to yourself
figure out what you like
yeah that's how you figure out what you like
there's so much to do yeah
the explore different languages
explore different genres explore different everything
mm hmm and just have fun
(32:03):
yes I love it
yeah thank you for joining me today Juliana
of course
we'll catch you guys next time
if you have any questions
shoot us an email we're happy to help wherever we can
have a good one bye
top comment here oh sweet summer child where to start
oh yeah you're the asshole
hey Vox star and welcome to from singer to artist
I'm Lara Chapman award winning singer and songwriter
(00:21):
turned viral vocal coach and the host of this show
at Vox Tape Studios
we help singers from all over the world
level up their voice
by teaching them the 3 fundamental skills
all singers need vocal technique
awareness and artistry
whether you're looking to go pro with your singing
or just develop your voice for fun
my team and I are here to help
(00:42):
just check the link in the description below
to book your first session
or grab some of our other resources alright
are you ready let's get started
I'm here with Coach Juliana from our team
hello and beautiful Los Angeles your home
my house yes yes
there you go my apartment there you go your apartment
I love it I love it
and today we've got some fun Reddit stories for you
(01:08):
the theme for today's Reddit stories is artistry oh
my favorite yes
we got we got three stories that we're gonna look at
and I'm just
I'm super excited to to dig right in and and get your
get your input on this cool
so are you ready yes alright
let's do it first one am I the asshole
(01:30):
for using my girlfriend's high school poetry
to write an amazing song
hmm okay okay
you know just like just hearing this I'm like
I don't know tell me more
tell me more tell me more
exactly tell me more
hey guys
I just Learned about this sub from my girlfriend
and was hoping for some input
because she won't talk to me right now
I hope she sees this and understands that
(01:53):
she's being really dramatic right now
my girlfriend is an incredible poet
she's been writing since she was in elementary school
and has won contests and awards well
I'm a musician so it works out perfect
I can write good melodies and sing well
but I suck with words
my girlfriend helped me write a couple songs
last summer and my followers loved them
(02:15):
I played them live too so we moved in together in March
which seems a little soon
I know I don't know how long you've been dating
but whatever but once the current situation hit
we said fuck it
and had her move in with me
because her parents were assholes
like raised by narcissists
status shit anyways
(02:36):
as I was helping her unpack her stuff at my place
I noticed a really old shoe box
as I started to open it
my girlfriend freaked out and snatched the box from me
I laughed asking what was so special about it
because she was acting like she saw a ghost
when she got super defensive and told me it was quote
bad poetry I wrote in middle school and high school
(02:58):
that I'm only holding on to for sentimental value
but I don't want anyone to see it
end quote not unquote
end quote um
I tried to convince her to let me read it
but she just made but it just made her more mad
so I dropped it I couldn't stop being curious though
it was like that shoebox started to taunt me
(03:21):
I eventually waited until she went to work from
oh I eventually waited until she went to work from home
on her laptop in her spare bedroom
to finally go through all the notebooks
some of it was really cringe yeah
but some of it was seriously
just as good as her current writing
so all throughout last week
(03:42):
I started working on a new song
based on her old poetry the song turned out so awesome
so I posted it on Soundcloud to all
and linked to all my social media accounts
and my fans adored it
I showed her the good reception it was getting
so she could see how incredible of a teen poet she was
(04:02):
and she flipped the fuck out
she threatened to take me to court for plagiarism
if I didn't take it down right away
which I did but now
she's telling me to take down the other two songs
she helped me write because she quote
can't look at me right now
all I did was show her her talent
show her how talented she's always been
(04:22):
and now she's messaging all
of her friends looking for a couch to crash on
I really love this girl I don't want her to leave
I've apologized but she says I'm full of it
hopefully
some honest internet feedback will help her understand
this isn't worth losing a good thing over
am I the asshole here guys
(04:43):
we have an edit not an update
OK but an edit
oh God is it worse
edit I think you guys are being way too harsh
and should hear the song before judging
I'll upload it again and link it when I get the chance
because right now my PC is busted
and my mobile data is too shitty to do it okay sure
(05:07):
haha
wow
yes you're an asshole major
what the hell
she told you not to like hmm
you just invaded someone's privacy
that is fucked up that is fucked up
so I get it man
I'm a curious person like if you're like
(05:30):
well let's not get into that right now
or it's like you know
just like
yeah you're giving me a little nugget
and now I want to know everything about it yeah
or someone text you I have to talk to you and like
oh about what
I'll tell you tomorrow like no
tell me now like now I can call them now now
now now
now now
oh absolutely
I hate getting those texts
don't ever do that to me please
just call me OK
not like hey
(05:51):
can we talk or like hey
can we talk it's about blah blah blah blah blah right
and just like the theme yeah
you know like what it's
we don't need to know all the details right now
but I at least need to know what it's gonna be about
right so don't ever do that OK
anyways I
I so get it but man
(06:11):
you can't you you just can't you can't do that yeah
no major major major red flag
like that's
and the fact that he's like doubling down on
you guys are dramatic you guys are like no
you are wrong yeah
I mean don't go to Reddit and ask for feedback
or someone's opinion yeah
(06:32):
if you're like not open to receiving it exactly
exactly and also
don't ever say my girlfriend is acting dramatic like
you just dug your own grave yes
don't do that yes
you did I you know
it might seem like whoa
she's moving out or crashing on other people's yeah
(06:54):
couches or whatever it's like from this one incident
you know it might it might be like wow
that's a that's a big thing
but man
I don't think he understands the ground how he just
how major this yeah
this is like I she specifically asked him not to not to
(07:14):
mm hmm
and then you go and do it anyways
mm hmm
that's just it shows your character
yeah
like if that's one thing that might be little you know
what else could he do in the future
yes that could be major
but also okay
well let's let's
let's try
let's put this situation in a different context
(07:38):
I don't know
this is the only thing I can think of right now
so you have a car it's the color red
and your boyfriend has the idea to change it to green
because he just loves green yeah
it's your car he has his own car
it's your car yeah
and he wants your car to be green
and you're like actually no
I really love my red car I don't want a green car
(08:01):
and then one day
you come home and your car is fucking green
now
I know this is this is a stupid example
but I'm like I'm
I'm trying to like put it in a
in a way where it's like well
if you look at it that way
that's stupid yeah
like why would you do that
it's not your car
and I told you not to and I told you not to yeah
(08:23):
so why did you just go ahead and do it anyways
yeah cause he
he thinks that he's right
and his vision isn't more important
like so what
and I I just
I like to play devil's advocate and like take
like put myself in his shoes too
even though it's a major royal fuck up
(08:44):
but he's like but I'm like
I was trying to show her how good that was like her
her older poetry and blah blah
blah blah
like yeah
I get that like there
there were no like bad intentions behind it
you know it's not like he took the poetry
like the worst thing
like the cringiest thing he could find
and then made a song out of it and
you know made
made fun of her that way
like that would be even more major like wow dude
(09:07):
what the heck yeah
um he didn't do that
he was like well
but look how good this is like yeah
I get it if
you know if I'm
if I'm putting myself in his shoes
like
there were technically good intentions there of like
wow this is good
but you never should have known in the first place
if this is good or not good
exactly that that was the first mistake
(09:29):
yeah exactly
yeah I mean
I I think it's similar in a way
I find it really
really problematic when the family or teams of like um
musicians or singers that pass away
they release like post death
(09:49):
what is it post you who
I don't know the word after they die
they release stuff that they were working on or like
long archived stuff and a lot of them say like
I don't want this out
and they still put it out to get money out of it
I'm like it's similar in a way
like the artist that owns the music
(10:11):
the words whatever it is that that is
that should be the only say
like if I say I don't want this out
it's not out yeah
you know I mean
it's obviously a Soundcloud release
it's not the same but still valid
like if she doesn't want that out there
no fair no
(10:32):
delete it immediately
burn it you know
I feel like it'd be one thing'cause like again
he had with the song
he had good intentions yeah
like let's
let's put aside
the fact that he just crossed a major boundary
but you know
he had good intentions there
but to get to that
maybe give it some time you know
(10:53):
like you don't have to look at this poetry right
this very moment exactly
but like give it some time
and maybe bring it up again a little bit later in
in the relationship
when there's maybe a little bit more trust
and just wait for her
until she's ready to share it with you
and if that never is the case
that's never the case and that's okay too
exactly but
she might get to the point where she feels comfortable
(11:15):
sharing it with you
and then you can go make your song
why do you have to do it right this very moment
yeah it's very kind of like childish
like immature super childish
like you were told no and now you wanna do it even more
like okay
yeah grow up
yeah very much so
well top comment here
(11:35):
oh sweet summer child
where to start oh yeah
you're the asshole and then in
they're referring to specific parts of what he wrote
um I hope she sees this and understands
she's being really dramatic right now
oh boy
that is not how you achieve that
you're the asshole she told you not to look at it
(11:56):
made that perfectly clear in all caps
and you waited until she turned her back
so that you could disregard her wishes
it's clear
you never even considered respecting her demand
for privacy you're the asshole
you then took it one step further
took that one thing she didn't want you to share
she didn't want to share even with her boyfriend
(12:17):
and then you shared it on Soundcloud
you're the asshole quick mention for the quote
some of it was really cringe
just to bring her down a bit more
sorry for not sugar coating it
but you are a massive asshole
if I were her
I would never be able to trust you ever again
this is one of the most narcissistic
(12:38):
am I the asshole I've read in a long time
yeah again
you're the asshole yeah
and it's so funny cause he says in the beginning
that she moved in with him
because her parents were not
like narcissistic or something like that
oh
yeah that's interesting
pot calling the kettle black
(13:02):
there's another one I eventually waited
until she went to work from home
on her laptop in her spare time
to finally go through all of the notebooks
you're the asshole
JFC
what's that mean don't know
you snooped in stuff she explicitly told you not to
and then recorded it
(13:23):
and published it on your social media
all I did was show her
her how talented she's always been nope
here's what you did and then there's bullet points
first teach her she can't trust you second
disrespect her wishes third
invade her privacy fourth
(13:43):
publish her private thoughts
slash words without her permission
and fifth publish her words as your own
yeah you're a huge gaping asshole yeah
oh and then um
to op to OP's edit
do not upload her song here or the song here
(14:05):
and further violate her and just
and disrespect her wishes
you have to be a troll the song doesn't matter
it could be freaking Bohemian Rhapsody
and it wouldn't change a damn thing
wow if you like
he needs to say it yes
(14:26):
pickle the cactus as you named him
pickle the cactus pickle the cactus
you're the asshole you're the asshole
there you go there you go hahaha yeah
you have to like turn it off at the bottom again
so it doesn't keep going I love him
well there you go
that's now your little special friend um
(14:47):
and you're gonna give us the verdict every time
if these dudes
if these people are the asshole or not that
oh wait I'm gonna keep it then yes
keep it keep it
little support emotional support
no pickle
pickle the cactus I love him
I love it
alright well
I think this is pretty clear
I think we can move on to the next story
(15:08):
yeah okay
am I the asshole
for not wanting my friends to post her singing video
online okay
I think we need a lot more information here
so let's dig right into it
my friend is an aspiring musician
she posts covers on YouTube
sings for donations to charity organizations
and occasionally performs her own music
(15:30):
occasionally we quote unquote collaborate
I'm honestly not much of a musician
I just tell her my opinion on how a song sounds
and how it could be better
last week I pulled a muscle in my leg
and I had to be in the hospital overnight
for observation my friend
my friend came to visit me
and she brought along her ukulele
(15:51):
to sing a small part of her newest song
just to see what I thought
I didn't know this at the time
but her mom filmed the whole thing
and they told me that they were going to post it on
YouTube
I didn't really want this because 1
I looked horrible
it was the morning I was about to leave
so I felt bad
(16:11):
my leg was still somewhat swollen etcetera 2
I didn't feel comfortable being on camera
especially in the hospital
when I brought up these concerns to my friend
she agreed not to post it
but told me that she thought my reasons were shallow
her exact words were
the fact that you don't want me to post it
just because of how you look
(16:33):
feels selfish
and that it felt like I didn't support her career
we're still friends but things have been tense
am I the asshole
not the asshole not the asshole yeah
I love him hahaha
(16:55):
I agree I agree
so break it down for me why do you think this is
similar thing to the previous one
mm hmm first off
this poor person didn't know they were being recorded
they did not consent that's huge
I mean you just don't do that
that's not okay not okay
(17:15):
especially if you're gonna put it online and promote it
and try and get something out of that
like that that's very wrong
if that's what you wanted to do
you would have asked them
and they probably would have said no
but at least you would have known yeah
and I don't think I just it's just wrong yeah
(17:37):
I I think yeah
this singer whoever this person is is just very
very yeah very
you know I get it
you know these days
you you see a lot of content on social media
where people are filming reactions of other people
hearing their song for the first time
and there are some where
(17:58):
they don't initially know that they're being recorded
it like I
I I get that she
she probably saw that somewhere and was like
oh I want to do that too
and this is such a good opportunity to do it because
you know hospital
and then automatically people are more compassionate
because somebody's at the hospital like yeah
I have to say
I understand this person's thought process
(18:20):
yeah I do
but you have to respect your friend's wishes
then OP's um
wishes
to then not share it and not hold that against them
yeah and be like hey
I get it I'm not gonna post it
and it's not selfish not to want that out there
(18:42):
like it's no at their most vulnerable state
they were not prepared
like no
like there's just yeah
and you know saying like
it feels like I don't support her career
not true dude
like you like it seems like this is not the first time
(19:05):
um you know
they say like you know
I usually just give her my opinion on
if the song sounds good and how it could be better
right like
so this is not like
something weird and unique and whatever
also you know
you can also say like man
it's selfish on your part to be like hey
(19:26):
I'm taking advantage of your hospital situation
right now that's awful
and I'm gonna go do this yeah right
like it's awful again
the road goes both ways yeah
it can we can look at it that way too
it's like well
actually you're the selfish person
because you are taking advantage of my situation
right now for your gain
mm hmm
that's also selfish Yep
(19:48):
agreed well
not the asshole let's see here top comment
not the asshole she pretended
she wanted to comfort you with her singing
but it was really just a ploy
so she could get some clout online
for singing to someone in a hospital
there you go exactly
(20:08):
your reasons are valid she's being very selfish
yup ta da agreed
wow
terrible friend
yeah and you know
here's the thing like
I don't think that this is something that you should
quote unquote break up over
break up in the meaning like in the sense of like
you're no longer friends right
talk about it
(20:28):
I don't I don't think like if everybody makes mistakes
yeah and we are allowed to make mistakes
it's it's okay
mm hmm we can learn from them
this is not such a royal fuck up where it's like
well there's no coming back from this
mm hmm no matter like
even if you've never made a mistake before whatever
like this is not yeah
(20:52):
that big of a deal
like it would be crazy had she posted it anyways right
that would have been that would have been crazy
but she didn't and was like
well I just I think you're selfish
you know she was frustrated with it and I and I get it
but that's not like that's something that can be
but hopefully she learns from it and be like okay
next time I'm gonna ask if I can record this person
(21:12):
yeah you know yeah
that's better yeah
they they they can learn from it
consent is important people yes
it sure is they can learn from it
and also when you said everybody makes mistakes
I thought of Hannah Montana immediately
yes and my mind went like there for like five seconds
and I had to come back yeah
no I get that I don't blame you
I don't blame you immediate throwback
(21:33):
but yeah I think they can work through this and
and still be friends and things
you know she says like things have been tight uh tense
sorry things have been tense
it's like well yeah right now
but if that's gonna pass
and especially if you talk about it
she's like yeah OK
yeah and hopefully she understands why it's wrong yeah
you know
even if she needs a week to get there get over it
(21:55):
she'll get yeah over it yeah
I love it well cool not the asshole
if you've heard of any crazy singing
or music related stories
or maybe even experienced them yourself
then please send them our way at support at vox
tap studios.com we'd love to share your story
and dissect it with everybody
here on the show of course
(22:15):
all anonymously okay
this one I'm really excited to hear your take on this
so for everybody who doesn't know
Juliana is Colombian originally living in Los Angeles
yeah you have no accent whatsoever
it comes out at times every now and then
but you know like it's it's
it's so cool how like your
(22:37):
obviously your Spanish is perfect
because that's your mother tongue
yes and your English is also very perfect
I could say the same thing about you well
thank you there you go
we're in similar shoes we're in similar shoes
but this story here is about singing in Spanish okay
so I am I'm very excited to hear your take on this
(22:58):
so let's get into it
am I the asshole for singing in Spanish
although I can't speak it
so backstory first
I rewatched both narco series on Netflix
and I ended up downloading several songs
from the soundtrack I love all kinds of music
and I got really into the dramatic songs
(23:18):
like the intro Tuyo or no
me Hablas de Este Amor
that was terrible I'm sorry
I sing along to my music when I'm working or alone
and one day I recently
one day recently
a friend overheard me singing one of the Spanish songs
her mother is from Mexico
(23:39):
and she speaks Spanish herself
and she got offended
and said that I was being racist by singing a language
I don't know I had looked up the lyrics to the song
and
had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly
and what they meant
I certainly didn't mean to come across as racist
I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals
(24:02):
I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious
to a native speaker
but I wasn't trying to mock or accent
or anything like that
I explained myself to my friend and she understood
but she still maintains that what I'm doing is racist
and I should stop
we have an edit wow
okay do we want to get into the edit
or do you want to give us through the edit
(24:23):
okay edit
I was definitely shocked to see a unanimous okay
hold on that already goes into the not the asshole
there you go not the asshole
there you go hahaha
there you go yes
oh my God hahaha
stunning stunning
so let's let's go into the the edit yes
(24:44):
I was definitely shocked to see a unanimous
not the asshole in the comments when I woke up
there are a few things I should clarify
after reading through these comments
my friend and I aren't from America
this is a disagreement and not a big deal between us
this is the first time she's taking a stance
against me on something like that
and we have agreed to disagree
(25:06):
living in a small rural area in a mostly white country
I can understand her sensitivity
and why she might have felt I was disrespecting her
this post was more for me to find out if I should stop
should stop singing in Spanish altogether
or just around her thanks to everyone who replied wow
okay
(25:26):
I don't think there's anything
wrong with singing a language that you don't know
but you like yeah
I sing in French Italian
whatever other language I can think of
exactly
there's nothing wrong
I think it's appreciating side aside of the culture
(25:48):
like I think Lady Gaga was singing at uh the
the Olympics Olympics
oh beautiful
stunning amazing
I don't did she
how is that French or not
but maybe not but how is that racist
what if the song is racist
OK well yeah
that's different
she took it to that next step and was like hey
(26:08):
I looked up the lyrics
so that I know more or less what they mean right
I worked on the pronunciation of them too
yeah sure
to a native speaker it's not perfect
but like she's trying yeah
and it's not offensive I think it's
I think it's sweet I think like
sometimes students have come to me
because they really like a Spanish song
(26:29):
and then I help them pronounce it better and like
understand it better yeah
I love that I think it's really cool
like even in music school
we had to learn different
well not different languages
but we learn different songs in different languages
because it makes you a better singer
yes different vowel shapes yes
different you know
ways of connecting phrases
(26:50):
it's I yeah
not the asshole at all you know
I'm very glad that you're saying this because otherwise
I would have been an asshole my entire childhood
because I only sang songs in English
and I did not speak English same
oh wait
I did but not fully
but like yeah
it wasn't my language it wasn't my culture
(27:11):
but what's the difference between
you know like a German speaking kid
right for me singing in English
or an English speaking person singing in Spanish
same thing like
you know uh
like it's definitely not racist
I think racist is definitely the wrong word here
more like cultural appropriation
(27:32):
if I feel like it would be more
more aware this goes into rather than racist
but even then like
I don't think it's more like cultural appreciation
not appropriation yeah
yeah yeah
so there's there's
I understand that
there can be a fine line between the two sometimes
but yeah
(27:53):
yeah I feel like sometimes people are just
they take things too far or like hypersensitive to
to that you know
on those topics
I think the more people know our culture
the better cause it's beautiful
yeah I love that
I love that and
you know again
like she went the extra mile
(28:13):
like to learn it that is so sweet
I wanna hear it I know
I know and um
well kind of going like relating to the story but
but let's take it a step further
let's say that this person is an artist
and they are putting out music
(28:34):
they're releasing music and they speak English and they
they don't speak Spanish
but they decide to release a song in Spanish
does the same thing still apply for you I think so
again that's probably just my personal opinion
I remember clearly
hearing versions of songs that I loved
(28:56):
in both languages hmm
and be like oh
they know my they know my language
that's really cool and that made me more of a fan
hmm like it happened with Selena Gomez
even though she was I mean
she is Latina but
you know you grow up listening to her in English right
um
Ariana Grande oh really
(29:17):
she has songs in Spanish oh
I didn't know that yeah
didn't Christina Aguilera
yeah but she got ripped to shreds
but funny enough her dad is from Ecuador
like she is Latina hmm
I was like why
why I just
people are mean just let people live and enjoy
(29:37):
I know they're not doing anything wrong
like why are you getting so offended by it
why are you taking it so personally
like this is yeah
this is something that felt right for them and was
they felt true to them
and a side of themselves that they wanted to share
yeah um
even if they're not exactly um
(29:58):
don't have the Spanish speaking background
you know still it's like
it's what they enjoyed and I'm like
if Lady Gaga can sing um
in French at the Paris Olympics
then why can't exactly yeah
yep agreed
yeah the more the merrier
(30:18):
there's so many languages other than English
um yeah
so not the asshole live your life baby
have fun yes
do what you want and I like that
you know and it's like well
do I wanna like
should I stop singing Spanish all together
or just around her
(30:39):
and I love that that comes from a place of respect too
like if you know that this bothers your friends
and you can agree to disagree right
which is what they're saying
um then just don't do it in front of her right
and and don't like
rub it in her face if you know that
this person is clearly uncomfortable with it
we're all entitled to like
we can all have our own opinions absolutely
but we have to respect each other's opinions
(31:01):
yeah and this seems very healthy and grown up
and yeah I like that person
yes
way to go being an adult on the internet
yeah yeah awesome
I love to see it well
so those are our little artistry uh
stories
overall I would say respect people's boundaries
(31:23):
yeah
do what feels right to you
and that's pretty much it
yeah just be nice
be nice wow
is that a theme that's our theme
like are you saying that like
I really like I have to start being nice
you're like so nice oh
my God yeah hahaha
(31:43):
there you go be nice
everybody be kind no exceptions
no like my mom says
always be kind no exceptions
and live your life be true to yourself
figure out what you like
yeah that's how you figure out what you like
there's so much to do yeah
the explore different languages
explore different genres explore different everything
mm hmm and just have fun
(32:03):
yes I love it
yeah thank you for joining me today Juliana
of course
we'll catch you guys next time
if you have any questions
shoot us an email we're happy to help wherever we can
have a good one bye
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com