April 25, 2025 • 20 mins
In this deeply heartfelt episode of In Your Element, Kathleen Kenneally explores one of the most powerful forces in healing: authenticity. Drawing from her own experiences and her work with patients, Kathleen reflects on what it truly means to be authentic—and why so many of us have learned to hide who we are behind masks of people-pleasing, fear, or perfectionism. With warmth and clarity, she unpacks the ways we can begin to reconnect with our true selves, create honest relationships, and shift the emotional patterns that often get stuck in our bodies.
Listeners are invited to consider what authenticity looks like in their own lives. Kathleen discusses how societal roles—especially for women—can condition us to put others’ needs first and view self-care as selfish, when in fact it’s the foundation of deep, sustainable connection. She explains how inauthentic behaviors often stem from fear and trauma, leading to emotional suppression, chronic stress, and even physical illness. With references to Louise Hay’s work and her own clinical insights, Kathleen reveals how emotions like anger, grief, and resentment can manifest in the body, and how healing begins when we are willing to be real.
Whether you’ve struggled with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or just want to feel more aligned in your relationships, this episode is a compassionate reminder that your truth is not only enough—it’s essential. Kathleen shares how clearing emotional and energetic blocks can open the door to physical healing and spiritual growth. To learn more about her work or book a session, visit kenneallyacupuncture.com.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to In Your Elementwith Kathleen Kenneally, where we
explore the wisdom of natural healingand the deeper rhythms of life from
the five elements to live out loud.
Spirituality.
This is a space to reconnect withyour most authentic self, whether
you're seeking balance through Chinesemedicine, tuning into your energetic
(00:21):
blueprint, or fully embracing themost vibrant, alive version of you.
This is your space toexplore, expand, and.
And realign.
Let's dive into today's conversation.
Hi.
Welcome.
This is Kathleen Kenneally with In YourElement, and today I'm really excited.
(00:44):
I wanna talk about something that isnear and dear to my heart and I. It's
something that I think about a lot.
I've talked to various friends,I've discussed it with patients.
It's really, really important.
It's a really important topic,and what I'm gonna talk about
today is about authenticity.
Authenticity to be authentic.
(01:05):
What does that mean?
What does that mean to you?
You know, it's is is it tomean that you're wearing a
party hat and purple and pink?
Clothes and you got flowers in yourhair and you don't give a rat's ass
what people are thinking about it.
Or does it mean that you are standing infront of a group of people and you're,
or you're on a podcast and you're sharingyour truth in a way, and it's like.
(01:29):
Boom.
Okay, I am out here andthis is real and this is me.
And, and, and not worryingabout how it's gonna land.
Like trusting that whoever needs to hearwhat I'm talking about today will hear it.
And the rest of the people, they won't.
And that's cool.
That's okay, because if I'm authentic,then, then it's gonna connect to the
(01:50):
people that need to hear this energy, thisfeel, this energy around being authentic.
And so.
That's what we're talking about today.
We're talking about authenticityand what that looks like, and
simply put, this is it right here.
It's like, okay.
It's like it's not hiding.
It's showing your heart, it's being trueto yourself and it's not so much about.
(02:13):
I don't, I'm gonna say whatever Iwant and I don't care who I offend as.
And that's not really the point.
The point is like, Hey, who are you?
And I wanna know who you are.
I don't wanna know the facade.
I don't wanna know.
I mean, that's part of the deal.
But let's see beyond that,what's behind the curtain?
What's really going on there?
'cause that's the partthat's so interesting.
(02:36):
And so when we can let our guard down,when we can go behind the curtain, right?
It's like the land of Wizard ofOz. It's like, wow, who's back
there using all the equipment?
Who, who is that?
Then we can have trueconnection with another person.
It's not about, my facade is, iscommunicating with your facade or who I am
(02:59):
today as a practitioner or who you know,it's like, wow, who are you as a person?
And, and within my practice, this isreally what I do with my patients.
It's that I am the practitioner,I am the doctor, I am the healer.
I am there to facilitate andto assist them, but I also
present myself as who I am.
(03:20):
And, and I think that allows other people.
To present as they are,because think about it, right?
When you're around somebody that'sjust being who they are, you
are, you do feel more likely tobe comfortable with who you are.
We give other people permission to bewho they are when we are being authentic.
(03:42):
Think about that, like that is so cool.
How awesome is that?
Right, that all this posing and all thisstuff that's going around goes away, poof.
Like that.
It's not even valid anymore becauseif I'm authentic, I'm giving you
permission to be authentic too, andthat it's actually the best place to be
(04:02):
is to be feeling authentically you so.
Again, just to kind of go over a few otherideas of like, you know, just to throw
these out here so you can think about it.
So again, people that are authentic,they show you their heart.
People that are authentic, theyare not afraid to make mistakes.
Like making mistakes isjust part of the deal.
(04:24):
That's how we grow and we don'tget stuck in those mistakes.
I mean, we can, but.
But ideally, let's not getstuck in those mistakes.
Let's just know that this is partof our growth, our path, and so on.
Authentic people.
Know that they are enough,just the way they are.
They don't have to beeverything to everyone.
(04:46):
They can just be like,Hey, this is who I am.
Come meet me here.
Come meet me in this spaceof authenticity, we can
have so much more fun.
We can just, we stop wasting time.
My gosh.
Think about how much time youwaste talking to somebody.
And finally you get a littlebit behind the curtain.
They show you a little bit of leg orthey show you a little bit like, hello.
(05:08):
And by this time it's like three hourslater and you're like, man, I'm done.
I'm ready to go.
I'm ready to go now.
And, and we can save so much moretime if we're just like, Hey,
I see you, or I wanna see you.
You know?
So that's kind of like this authenticthing too, is like just showing people
who you are and not pretending tobe anything other than who you are.
(05:32):
And.
Another thing that's reallyinteresting about when we're authentic
is that we're being authenticand we're speaking our truth.
We are actually taking care of ourselves.
And that's, it's also part of beingauthentic, is that I am making sure
that I'm taking care of myself.
And let me tell you, as a woman in oursociety, that can be a little, a little
(05:55):
touch and go a little dicey becausewe're kind of conditioned in our.
Society to not be authentic.
And as a woman, we're trained fromearly on that our role is to take
care of everybody else's needs first.
and if we don't do that, thensomehow we are being incredibly
selfish and self-absorbed.
(06:17):
And it's a, it's not a good thing.
And so the conditioningis so, so, so deep.
But I'm here to tell you that actuallytaking care of yourself, making sure
that your needs are met is not selfish,but it's an act of self care the most.
Beautiful act of self-care.
And when we're, when we takecare of ourselves, then we can
(06:41):
so take, take care of everybodyelse in a, in a much better way.
We can be so much more available toother people when we are full ourselves.
And so this is really,really key because I think.
All of these pieces of this puzzlebring us back to the understanding
(07:03):
that when I am being authentic, Iam allowing you to be authentic too.
And that's where, true growthand expansion and healing begins.
And.
I want that for everybody.
I want that for everybodythat walks through my door.
I want everybody to feel like they'reseen and that they're heard, and that
(07:26):
we're going to go on this healingjourney together so that they can
actually feel and be more of themselves.
Because half the time people walkaround, they're not being listened to.
They feel like nobody hears them, nobodysees them, that they don't really exist.
And that's why peoplefeel frustrated and so on.
(07:48):
And when we have unexpressed emotions,when we carry around, uh, anger,
frustration, sadness, grief, theseare all the kind of things that I,
Seeing within my practice that can endup turning into disease in the body.
Motions get stuck in the body.
You know, you've probably, some of youmay have heard of Louise Hay and she
(08:09):
wrote this really brilliant book andI, it's called You Can Heal Your Life.
And in this book she has listedoff all these different emotions
that are connected to illness.
So, for example, you know, you thinkof, and this is very literal, so
you have pain in your neck, right?
(08:30):
Pain in your neck can indicate something,or someone is a pain in your neck.
So it's that unresolved someone'sreally being a pain in your neck
and you're not acknowledging it.
You're not having clear communication.
You're not finding a wayto kind of relieve that.
And so it's showing up in thebody Another way, I think this
(08:51):
is I remember reading this.
It was about sinus.
When people have chronic sinusinfection or sinus issues.
You know what that thatindicates, that indicates that
you're pissed off at somebody.
Usually it's somebody in particular, butmaybe there's just some, oops, sorry.
There's some unresolved anger.
There's some unresolved anger that you,that you are haven't been expressing.
(09:11):
And you know, in Britain they have thisexpression, which, which, when I first
read this in Louise Hayes book thatthey say, um, somebody's up your nose.
Which means that they've irritated youand they've, they've pissed you off,
but somebody's gotten up your nose.
I know.
I love the Brits.
I lived there for four years.
Amazing.
Anyway, for another time.
So that brings us to, I'd like totalk a little bit about, we talked
(09:36):
about how illness shows up at yourbody and how all of that happens.
I'd like to take a minute and just kind ofgo over, we've talked a little bit about.
A lot about this authenticityand what that means, but let's, I
wanna just kind of run through someideas of like what it looks like
when people are being inauthentic.
And so when someone's being inauthentic,oftentimes it's a fear pattern that
(09:58):
it's coming from a place of trauma.
And so people are hiding because they'reafraid that someone's gonna judge them,
that someone's gonna, um, hurt them,that someone's going to that well, you
know, that they might burn on the steak.
And so it can be that extreme or thatsimple, but it comes from a place of fear.
And so being authentic.
(10:19):
And so how it can manifest or show upis that it can show up in ways that,
for example, people that are beingauthentic, they mask the way or hide
their true feelings, and they avoidat all costs appearing vulnerable.
I. So that whole idea of feelinglike, okay, I'm never gonna be
vulnerable, I'm always gonna be right.
I'm gonna hide because theydon't wanna be judged and they
(10:42):
don't wanna be rejected, right?
No wants to be rejected.
Nobody wants to be judged or rejected.
Also, also another sign of inInauthentic people is, is when people
that are inauthentic are lying.
They lie.
They lie about their experiences,they lie about their intentions.
(11:02):
They, may lie to manipulatea particular situation.
They're lying to themselves.
And so that's, yeah, exactly.
They're not being whothey are and so lying.
And then another kind of sign whenyou see is they, they have behavior
that's incongruent, meaning that theymight say one thing, but then their
(11:23):
behavior is something totally different.
Like there's not a congruency,there's no congruency.
It's like, wow, okay.
I said this, but then I'm gonna.
Go do this.
And so again, because whenyou're authentic, we're
comfortable with who we are.
I'm putting myself in that category.
Being authentic means we'recomfortable with who we are.
(11:45):
And so when we're not comfortable withwho we are, then we have to make up
stories to, uh, appear to be more, um,'cause because we don't like who we are.
When people are, I don't, youknow, people are inauthentic.
They don't like who they're.
Hope you're following me.
I know.
I'm kind of talking about a lot of stuff.
So anyway, the more authenticwe are, the more we shows how
(12:09):
comfortable we are with who we are.
and one of the.
Things also that you notice when peopleare not authentically representing
themselves, that they're hiding behind,they hide behind the need to be right
all the time, that they're hell benton being right no matter what, and they
leave no room for anybody else to have.
(12:32):
An opinion, to even, allowinganybody else to even be themselves.
So they actually turn into a versionof what they're trying to avoid.
They're trying to avoid being judged.
And so they actually turn into that,where they're creating an energy where
they actually are judging everybody else.
So everybody else doesn't get to be whothey are because they have to be right
and nobody else can have an opinion.
(12:54):
And.
Anybody that deviates from whatthey've decided is the norm.
And we can see this in familydynamics, where there's people that
are very controlling in nature andit's like they set the tone saying,
everybody, we need to fall into this.
Everybody needs to look like this or actlike this, or This is how we represent.
And that is setting up fora very toxic situation.
(13:17):
You can only imagine, right?
Some of you might know exactlywhat I'm talking about.
And so that's a really bigthing with inauthenticity.
I mean, there's other things, butfinally one of the main things I
wanted to mention is the whole.
Energy around people pleasing.
And so people pleasingis really, really common.
(13:37):
It's a very common thing.
And again, it comes back from thatenergy around fear that nobody wants
to be judged, nobody wants to behurt, everybody wants to feel safe.
And there is this kind of commonality interms of people that are people pleasers
that they will go out of their way.
I was talking about it earlier abouttaking care of everybody else's needs,
and again, as I mentioned it, it cansometimes be be connected to some sort
(14:02):
of trauma, a trauma wound that hashappened in their life and where somehow
they have gotten the message that inorder for me to be loved, I need to take
care of everybody else's needs first.
If I am take care of it, then I'llget the love that I need and I desire.
In order to be safe, I better makesure everybody else is taken care of.
(14:26):
And that way I'm assured that Iwill be safe, that I'm safe within
this unit, this family unit.
And so it's also, in part,I find that people pleasers.
I kind of like to think of it asan, and I'm a, Semi recovered,
mostly recovered people pleaser.
And so I have a really, I'm reallywell versed in all of this, and
(14:46):
it's the idea that, and maybe someof you can relate to this, is how.
As a people pleaser, and this alsofalls into people that are empaths and
sensitive, highly sensitives, is thatthere is this kind of, um, we figure out
a way to survive within an environment.
And so again, going back to the trauma,and so the way we figure out how to
(15:08):
survive is that we empath or we we'resensitive and we feel we kind of.
Feel the situation.
So we learn to anticipateand like, where's the exit?
How do I get out of here?
Where's the best, where's the telephone?
You know, what do I need?
Where's the backpack?
Do we have everything in case we needto make a, you know, a quick exit?
And so in that, it's that whole idea of,assessing the situation and then adapting.
(15:34):
I like to think of it asa creating a camouflage.
So when you notice that you somehowfeel unsafe and you feel like you need
to figure out how to be safe, that wecan create a camouflage that allows
us to fit in, let's say, to the herd.
You know that we'renot an outlier anymore.
(15:54):
We've figured out how to fit intothe herd, and part of that way of
fitting into the herd is figuringout how to please everybody.
And as we get older, as it continues, itcan morph into so many different things
where people pleasers, especially moms.
You see this a lot in moms,and again, it's not even.
People don't even blink.
People just go, Hey, this is what moms do.
(16:17):
Moms, and absolutely, I wouldthrow myself in front of a train to
protect my kid a hundred percent.
There is nothing I wouldn'tdo to, and I'm sure there are
fathers that feel this way too.
That's not necessarilythe people pleasing part.
However, it's goes, itgoes beyond our children.
It goes into.
You know, everybody else in the family orin our family unit or, and everybody we
(16:39):
meet like, oh no, I'm not that important.
You're more important than I am.
Let me make sure that you're okay.
Let me, I am anxious to please you.
I want to make sure that, you know, andagain, it's about feeling safe, that I'm
not gonna get the love, I'm not gonnabe liked, I'm not gonna be supported.
I'm not going to be seen.
(17:01):
Unless I cover myself up and present ina way that's pleasing to the other, that
fits into what their expectations is.
And so going back to beingauthentic means person.
An authentic person is not meetingother people's expectations.
They're not concerned with.
Wow, you expect this iswhat a wife looks like.
(17:22):
This is what a daughter looks like.
This is what a teacher looks like.
This is what a dad looks like.
This is what a boyfriend looks,whatever, how, whatever the label is.
And it's kind of like whenyou're authentic, it's like.
This is my version.
This is what a friend looks like.
This is my version of that.
and again, everybody has their owninternal dialogue and picture of what
(17:47):
a friend looks like, what a fatherlooks like, what a mother, and what
those roles, what people do now.
I am not saying that that's wrong.
I'm not saying that that'seven bad, that we have an idea
of what the role looks like.
What I'm suggesting is that it'snot about sacrificing our own
(18:08):
individuality, our own personality,our own authenticity for the sake of
making other people feel comfortable.
That's not our job.
Our job is not to make otherpeople feel comfortable.
Our job is to be true to ourselvesand trust that in an honest
(18:29):
interaction, that someone's gonna,they're gonna feel comfortable or
not uncomfortable and it's okay.
We are a hundred percent allowed tobe uncomfortable sometimes, as long
as people aren't doing things that areactively trying to hurt another person
and, and, you know, actively trying to.
Cause them harm.
(18:49):
And this is just how I see it, right?
This is just my perspective on this andyou might have some different perspectives
and I'd really love to hear some feedbackand other people's perspectives on
how they've experienced any of thesethings that I've talked about today.
Because all of us, I think, have hadexperience with one or more of these
things that I've, shared with you today.
(19:10):
And so it's just.
I hope this has been enlightening.
I hope this has beensomething that has Hmm.
Made you think for a minute.
And if you are interested infinding out more about how energetic
emotional blocks can not only.
Impact your health, but how clearingthem can actually impact your health
(19:31):
in a, in a really positive way.
Then I invite you to reach out to me.
I invite you to, you know,I'm happy to talk to you.
I'm happy to explain more, again,open to the feedback and, I just
really love sharing all this stuff.
So I hope this has really brought you someinteresting things to think about today
and, I truly, truly look forward to, um.
(19:52):
Talking to you again.
So for my heart to yours,sending you all the love.
Have a beautiful, beautiful day.
Thank you for joining metoday on In Your Element.
I hope this conversation has sparkeda new awareness of how you can
align with the natural rhythms ofyour body and the world around you.
If you enjoyed today's episode, be sureto subscribe so you don't miss what's
(20:15):
next and if something resonated with you.
I'd really love to hear from you.
Connect with me atkenneallyacupuncture.com
or on social media.
Until next time, stay balanced,stay inspired, and keep tuning into
the wisdom within and around you.
See you next time on In Your Element.
Hello and welcome to In Your Elementwith Kathleen Kenneally, where we
explore the wisdom of natural healingand the deeper rhythms of life from
the five elements to live out loud.
Spirituality.
This is a space to reconnect withyour most authentic self, whether
you're seeking balance through Chinesemedicine, tuning into your energetic
(00:21):
blueprint, or fully embracing themost vibrant, alive version of you.
This is your space toexplore, expand, and.
And realign.
Let's dive into today's conversation.
Hi.
Welcome.
This is Kathleen Kenneally with In YourElement, and today I'm really excited.
(00:44):
I wanna talk about something that isnear and dear to my heart and I. It's
something that I think about a lot.
I've talked to various friends,I've discussed it with patients.
It's really, really important.
It's a really important topic,and what I'm gonna talk about
today is about authenticity.
Authenticity to be authentic.
(01:05):
What does that mean?
What does that mean to you?
You know, it's is is it tomean that you're wearing a
party hat and purple and pink?
Clothes and you got flowers in yourhair and you don't give a rat's ass
what people are thinking about it.
Or does it mean that you are standing infront of a group of people and you're,
or you're on a podcast and you're sharingyour truth in a way, and it's like.
(01:29):
Boom.
Okay, I am out here andthis is real and this is me.
And, and, and not worryingabout how it's gonna land.
Like trusting that whoever needs to hearwhat I'm talking about today will hear it.
And the rest of the people, they won't.
And that's cool.
That's okay, because if I'm authentic,then, then it's gonna connect to the
(01:50):
people that need to hear this energy, thisfeel, this energy around being authentic.
And so.
That's what we're talking about today.
We're talking about authenticityand what that looks like, and
simply put, this is it right here.
It's like, okay.
It's like it's not hiding.
It's showing your heart, it's being trueto yourself and it's not so much about.
(02:13):
I don't, I'm gonna say whatever Iwant and I don't care who I offend as.
And that's not really the point.
The point is like, Hey, who are you?
And I wanna know who you are.
I don't wanna know the facade.
I don't wanna know.
I mean, that's part of the deal.
But let's see beyond that,what's behind the curtain?
What's really going on there?
'cause that's the partthat's so interesting.
(02:36):
And so when we can let our guard down,when we can go behind the curtain, right?
It's like the land of Wizard ofOz. It's like, wow, who's back
there using all the equipment?
Who, who is that?
Then we can have trueconnection with another person.
It's not about, my facade is, iscommunicating with your facade or who I am
(02:59):
today as a practitioner or who you know,it's like, wow, who are you as a person?
And, and within my practice, this isreally what I do with my patients.
It's that I am the practitioner,I am the doctor, I am the healer.
I am there to facilitate andto assist them, but I also
present myself as who I am.
(03:20):
And, and I think that allows other people.
To present as they are,because think about it, right?
When you're around somebody that'sjust being who they are, you
are, you do feel more likely tobe comfortable with who you are.
We give other people permission to bewho they are when we are being authentic.
(03:42):
Think about that, like that is so cool.
How awesome is that?
Right, that all this posing and all thisstuff that's going around goes away, poof.
Like that.
It's not even valid anymore becauseif I'm authentic, I'm giving you
permission to be authentic too, andthat it's actually the best place to be
(04:02):
is to be feeling authentically you so.
Again, just to kind of go over a few otherideas of like, you know, just to throw
these out here so you can think about it.
So again, people that are authentic,they show you their heart.
People that are authentic, theyare not afraid to make mistakes.
Like making mistakes isjust part of the deal.
(04:24):
That's how we grow and we don'tget stuck in those mistakes.
I mean, we can, but.
But ideally, let's not getstuck in those mistakes.
Let's just know that this is partof our growth, our path, and so on.
Authentic people.
Know that they are enough,just the way they are.
They don't have to beeverything to everyone.
(04:46):
They can just be like,Hey, this is who I am.
Come meet me here.
Come meet me in this spaceof authenticity, we can
have so much more fun.
We can just, we stop wasting time.
My gosh.
Think about how much time youwaste talking to somebody.
And finally you get a littlebit behind the curtain.
They show you a little bit of leg orthey show you a little bit like, hello.
(05:08):
And by this time it's like three hourslater and you're like, man, I'm done.
I'm ready to go.
I'm ready to go now.
And, and we can save so much moretime if we're just like, Hey,
I see you, or I wanna see you.
You know?
So that's kind of like this authenticthing too, is like just showing people
who you are and not pretending tobe anything other than who you are.
(05:32):
And.
Another thing that's reallyinteresting about when we're authentic
is that we're being authenticand we're speaking our truth.
We are actually taking care of ourselves.
And that's, it's also part of beingauthentic, is that I am making sure
that I'm taking care of myself.
And let me tell you, as a woman in oursociety, that can be a little, a little
(05:55):
touch and go a little dicey becausewe're kind of conditioned in our.
Society to not be authentic.
And as a woman, we're trained fromearly on that our role is to take
care of everybody else's needs first.
and if we don't do that, thensomehow we are being incredibly
selfish and self-absorbed.
(06:17):
And it's a, it's not a good thing.
And so the conditioningis so, so, so deep.
But I'm here to tell you that actuallytaking care of yourself, making sure
that your needs are met is not selfish,but it's an act of self care the most.
Beautiful act of self-care.
And when we're, when we takecare of ourselves, then we can
(06:41):
so take, take care of everybodyelse in a, in a much better way.
We can be so much more available toother people when we are full ourselves.
And so this is really,really key because I think.
All of these pieces of this puzzlebring us back to the understanding
(07:03):
that when I am being authentic, Iam allowing you to be authentic too.
And that's where, true growthand expansion and healing begins.
And.
I want that for everybody.
I want that for everybodythat walks through my door.
I want everybody to feel like they'reseen and that they're heard, and that
(07:26):
we're going to go on this healingjourney together so that they can
actually feel and be more of themselves.
Because half the time people walkaround, they're not being listened to.
They feel like nobody hears them, nobodysees them, that they don't really exist.
And that's why peoplefeel frustrated and so on.
(07:48):
And when we have unexpressed emotions,when we carry around, uh, anger,
frustration, sadness, grief, theseare all the kind of things that I,
Seeing within my practice that can endup turning into disease in the body.
Motions get stuck in the body.
You know, you've probably, some of youmay have heard of Louise Hay and she
(08:09):
wrote this really brilliant book andI, it's called You Can Heal Your Life.
And in this book she has listedoff all these different emotions
that are connected to illness.
So, for example, you know, you thinkof, and this is very literal, so
you have pain in your neck, right?
(08:30):
Pain in your neck can indicate something,or someone is a pain in your neck.
So it's that unresolved someone'sreally being a pain in your neck
and you're not acknowledging it.
You're not having clear communication.
You're not finding a wayto kind of relieve that.
And so it's showing up in thebody Another way, I think this
(08:51):
is I remember reading this.
It was about sinus.
When people have chronic sinusinfection or sinus issues.
You know what that thatindicates, that indicates that
you're pissed off at somebody.
Usually it's somebody in particular, butmaybe there's just some, oops, sorry.
There's some unresolved anger.
There's some unresolved anger that you,that you are haven't been expressing.
(09:11):
And you know, in Britain they have thisexpression, which, which, when I first
read this in Louise Hayes book thatthey say, um, somebody's up your nose.
Which means that they've irritated youand they've, they've pissed you off,
but somebody's gotten up your nose.
I know.
I love the Brits.
I lived there for four years.
Amazing.
Anyway, for another time.
So that brings us to, I'd like totalk a little bit about, we talked
(09:36):
about how illness shows up at yourbody and how all of that happens.
I'd like to take a minute and just kind ofgo over, we've talked a little bit about.
A lot about this authenticityand what that means, but let's, I
wanna just kind of run through someideas of like what it looks like
when people are being inauthentic.
And so when someone's being inauthentic,oftentimes it's a fear pattern that
(09:58):
it's coming from a place of trauma.
And so people are hiding because they'reafraid that someone's gonna judge them,
that someone's gonna, um, hurt them,that someone's going to that well, you
know, that they might burn on the steak.
And so it can be that extreme or thatsimple, but it comes from a place of fear.
And so being authentic.
(10:19):
And so how it can manifest or show upis that it can show up in ways that,
for example, people that are beingauthentic, they mask the way or hide
their true feelings, and they avoidat all costs appearing vulnerable.
I. So that whole idea of feelinglike, okay, I'm never gonna be
vulnerable, I'm always gonna be right.
I'm gonna hide because theydon't wanna be judged and they
(10:42):
don't wanna be rejected, right?
No wants to be rejected.
Nobody wants to be judged or rejected.
Also, also another sign of inInauthentic people is, is when people
that are inauthentic are lying.
They lie.
They lie about their experiences,they lie about their intentions.
(11:02):
They, may lie to manipulatea particular situation.
They're lying to themselves.
And so that's, yeah, exactly.
They're not being whothey are and so lying.
And then another kind of sign whenyou see is they, they have behavior
that's incongruent, meaning that theymight say one thing, but then their
(11:23):
behavior is something totally different.
Like there's not a congruency,there's no congruency.
It's like, wow, okay.
I said this, but then I'm gonna.
Go do this.
And so again, because whenyou're authentic, we're
comfortable with who we are.
I'm putting myself in that category.
Being authentic means we'recomfortable with who we are.
(11:45):
And so when we're not comfortable withwho we are, then we have to make up
stories to, uh, appear to be more, um,'cause because we don't like who we are.
When people are, I don't, youknow, people are inauthentic.
They don't like who they're.
Hope you're following me.
I know.
I'm kind of talking about a lot of stuff.
So anyway, the more authenticwe are, the more we shows how
(12:09):
comfortable we are with who we are.
and one of the.
Things also that you notice when peopleare not authentically representing
themselves, that they're hiding behind,they hide behind the need to be right
all the time, that they're hell benton being right no matter what, and they
leave no room for anybody else to have.
(12:32):
An opinion, to even, allowinganybody else to even be themselves.
So they actually turn into a versionof what they're trying to avoid.
They're trying to avoid being judged.
And so they actually turn into that,where they're creating an energy where
they actually are judging everybody else.
So everybody else doesn't get to be whothey are because they have to be right
and nobody else can have an opinion.
(12:54):
And.
Anybody that deviates from whatthey've decided is the norm.
And we can see this in familydynamics, where there's people that
are very controlling in nature andit's like they set the tone saying,
everybody, we need to fall into this.
Everybody needs to look like this or actlike this, or This is how we represent.
And that is setting up fora very toxic situation.
(13:17):
You can only imagine, right?
Some of you might know exactlywhat I'm talking about.
And so that's a really bigthing with inauthenticity.
I mean, there's other things, butfinally one of the main things I
wanted to mention is the whole.
Energy around people pleasing.
And so people pleasingis really, really common.
(13:37):
It's a very common thing.
And again, it comes back from thatenergy around fear that nobody wants
to be judged, nobody wants to behurt, everybody wants to feel safe.
And there is this kind of commonality interms of people that are people pleasers
that they will go out of their way.
I was talking about it earlier abouttaking care of everybody else's needs,
and again, as I mentioned it, it cansometimes be be connected to some sort
(14:02):
of trauma, a trauma wound that hashappened in their life and where somehow
they have gotten the message that inorder for me to be loved, I need to take
care of everybody else's needs first.
If I am take care of it, then I'llget the love that I need and I desire.
In order to be safe, I better makesure everybody else is taken care of.
(14:26):
And that way I'm assured that Iwill be safe, that I'm safe within
this unit, this family unit.
And so it's also, in part,I find that people pleasers.
I kind of like to think of it asan, and I'm a, Semi recovered,
mostly recovered people pleaser.
And so I have a really, I'm reallywell versed in all of this, and
(14:46):
it's the idea that, and maybe someof you can relate to this, is how.
As a people pleaser, and this alsofalls into people that are empaths and
sensitive, highly sensitives, is thatthere is this kind of, um, we figure out
a way to survive within an environment.
And so again, going back to the trauma,and so the way we figure out how to
(15:08):
survive is that we empath or we we'resensitive and we feel we kind of.
Feel the situation.
So we learn to anticipateand like, where's the exit?
How do I get out of here?
Where's the best, where's the telephone?
You know, what do I need?
Where's the backpack?
Do we have everything in case we needto make a, you know, a quick exit?
And so in that, it's that whole idea of,assessing the situation and then adapting.
(15:34):
I like to think of it asa creating a camouflage.
So when you notice that you somehowfeel unsafe and you feel like you need
to figure out how to be safe, that wecan create a camouflage that allows
us to fit in, let's say, to the herd.
You know that we'renot an outlier anymore.
(15:54):
We've figured out how to fit intothe herd, and part of that way of
fitting into the herd is figuringout how to please everybody.
And as we get older, as it continues, itcan morph into so many different things
where people pleasers, especially moms.
You see this a lot in moms,and again, it's not even.
People don't even blink.
People just go, Hey, this is what moms do.
(16:17):
Moms, and absolutely, I wouldthrow myself in front of a train to
protect my kid a hundred percent.
There is nothing I wouldn'tdo to, and I'm sure there are
fathers that feel this way too.
That's not necessarilythe people pleasing part.
However, it's goes, itgoes beyond our children.
It goes into.
You know, everybody else in the family orin our family unit or, and everybody we
(16:39):
meet like, oh no, I'm not that important.
You're more important than I am.
Let me make sure that you're okay.
Let me, I am anxious to please you.
I want to make sure that, you know, andagain, it's about feeling safe, that I'm
not gonna get the love, I'm not gonnabe liked, I'm not gonna be supported.
I'm not going to be seen.
(17:01):
Unless I cover myself up and present ina way that's pleasing to the other, that
fits into what their expectations is.
And so going back to beingauthentic means person.
An authentic person is not meetingother people's expectations.
They're not concerned with.
Wow, you expect this iswhat a wife looks like.
(17:22):
This is what a daughter looks like.
This is what a teacher looks like.
This is what a dad looks like.
This is what a boyfriend looks,whatever, how, whatever the label is.
And it's kind of like whenyou're authentic, it's like.
This is my version.
This is what a friend looks like.
This is my version of that.
and again, everybody has their owninternal dialogue and picture of what
(17:47):
a friend looks like, what a fatherlooks like, what a mother, and what
those roles, what people do now.
I am not saying that that's wrong.
I'm not saying that that'seven bad, that we have an idea
of what the role looks like.
What I'm suggesting is that it'snot about sacrificing our own
(18:08):
individuality, our own personality,our own authenticity for the sake of
making other people feel comfortable.
That's not our job.
Our job is not to make otherpeople feel comfortable.
Our job is to be true to ourselvesand trust that in an honest
(18:29):
interaction, that someone's gonna,they're gonna feel comfortable or
not uncomfortable and it's okay.
We are a hundred percent allowed tobe uncomfortable sometimes, as long
as people aren't doing things that areactively trying to hurt another person
and, and, you know, actively trying to.
Cause them harm.
(18:49):
And this is just how I see it, right?
This is just my perspective on this andyou might have some different perspectives
and I'd really love to hear some feedbackand other people's perspectives on
how they've experienced any of thesethings that I've talked about today.
Because all of us, I think, have hadexperience with one or more of these
things that I've, shared with you today.
(19:10):
And so it's just.
I hope this has been enlightening.
I hope this has beensomething that has Hmm.
Made you think for a minute.
And if you are interested infinding out more about how energetic
emotional blocks can not only.
Impact your health, but how clearingthem can actually impact your health
(19:31):
in a, in a really positive way.
Then I invite you to reach out to me.
I invite you to, you know,I'm happy to talk to you.
I'm happy to explain more, again,open to the feedback and, I just
really love sharing all this stuff.
So I hope this has really brought you someinteresting things to think about today
and, I truly, truly look forward to, um.
(19:52):
Talking to you again.
So for my heart to yours,sending you all the love.
Have a beautiful, beautiful day.
Thank you for joining metoday on In Your Element.
I hope this conversation has sparkeda new awareness of how you can
align with the natural rhythms ofyour body and the world around you.
If you enjoyed today's episode, be sureto subscribe so you don't miss what's
(20:15):
next and if something resonated with you.
I'd really love to hear from you.
Connect with me atkenneallyacupuncture.com
or on social media.
Until next time, stay balanced,stay inspired, and keep tuning into
the wisdom within and around you.
See you next time on In Your Element.
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