February 4, 2024 • 21 mins
In episode 16 of Inner Healing Intelligence, Dr. Laurie Little outlines essential strategies to maintain inner peace, both at work and at home. In this insightful discussion, she delves into our understanding of stress and suggests that much of our stress is self-induced, stemming not from actual situations but rather, our perceptions of them. Dr. Little underscores the importance of understanding and adjusting our mindset to manage stress.
Dr. Little dissects the root causes of stress in our personal and professional lives, using common scenarios as examples. She believes that feelings of stress often arise from situations where we feel considerable responsibility but exercise little power. These scenarios may be found in high-pressure jobs or challenging parenting situations.
However, rather than being stuck in a cycle of anxiety and frustration, Dr. Little offers practical and mindset solutions to make stress more manageable. She emphasizes the importance of saying 'no', delegating tasks, and dispelling notions of perfectionism. Above all, she stresses the importance of understanding ourselves better to uncover the underlying beliefs that contribute to our stress levels.
Join her Tribe and share your stress management strategies and experiences. Connect with Dr. Little at laurielittle.com or join the private Facebook community, Inner Healing Intelligence, for a more interactive exchange.
Want to find more ways to reduce stress, anxiety and perfectionism?
Get my free guide: “Five Steps to Finding Calm in the Chaos”
Join my tribe at www.laurielittle.com OR Inner Healing Intelligence Private Facebook Group to connect, ask questions or suggest topics.
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back, everyone. This
is Dr. Lori Little. Today is episode 16 of Inner Healing Intelligence,
where we're going to talk about essential strategies to maintain inner peace at work and at home.
How stressed do you feel in your life, either in your professional or your personal
(00:23):
life? And what does it really mean to be stressed?
What does stress even mean? How much of our stress is real and how much of it
is just in our mindset, the way we're looking at or thinking about a situation?
I believe that our levels of stress are primarily self-induced,
(00:46):
meaning it is not as much the situation itself that's causing the stress,
but it's our way of making sense of our situations, how we're trying to deal with it.
Today we're going to be talking about the biggest causes of stress in our lives
and how we can start to fix it. So stay tuned.
(01:11):
Welcome, everyone. My name is Dr. Lori Little, and I'm a clinical psychologist,
mindfulness coach, psychedelic therapist, wife, and mom.
My passion is helping people learn to listen to and trust their inner healing
intelligence, that part of us that is always moving towards health and growth.
(01:33):
Ultimately, when we allow our inner healing intelligence to be our guide,
we can stop looking outside of ourselves for answers.
We can experience more joy, more peace, and more connection with others than
we may have ever thought possible.
Although it may sound simple, it is by no means easy.
(01:55):
Join me as we discuss the many challenges and opportunities that listening to
your inner healing intelligence can bring to your life.
Today we're going to be talking about all things stress-related.
Even if you aren't a Marvel fan like me, you've probably heard the famous line
(02:18):
from the Spider-Man series where Uncle Ben tells a young Peter Parker,
with great power comes great responsibility.
But what if you're in the the opposite situation.
What happens when you have tremendous responsibility but very little power?
(02:42):
I believe that this is actually the very definition of stress.
Stress is the emotion that we feel when we are in charge of something or we
are responsible for the outcome or we're being held to a certain expectation.
But along with that, we don't feel we have the power or the skills or the resources
(03:07):
to meet that demand or expectation or responsibility.
Stress comes from the belief that we are being threatened in some way.
We are feeling a sense of pressure or we're feeling frustrated or maybe even
angry about our current situation or circumstances.
(03:30):
And when we really dig deeper beneath those emotions,
what you are likely to find at its core is that you have a demand that is being
placed upon you that you feel powerless to manage.
The two biggest areas where many of us feel stress in our lives,
(03:51):
myself included, is in our professional lives and at home and particularly in parenting.
When you think of your job or your professional life, we'll start with that.
Think about all the aspects of your job that bring you the most stress.
(04:13):
Because I work with a lot of professionals, I also happen to work with a lot
of physicians and medical students, and I see patients with very high-stress jobs.
But think about your own job for a minute. What stresses you out the most?
Do you feel you have too many tasks on your to-do list and not enough time to get them all done?
(04:39):
Maybe you work with the public and people are rude to you.
They yell at you or are constantly complaining or even verbally abusive.
During the pandemic, one of the most stressful places to work,
obviously, was in health care.
And back in those early days, we didn't have a lot of information about how
(05:03):
COVID was spread, how to even keep yourself safe, and we didn't have enough resources like masks.
And if you worked in healthcare where you actually had to come into work,
you couldn't isolate yourselves from the rest of the world the way many, many other people were.
(05:23):
And since the pandemic, if you still work in healthcare,
you might feel stress about how much more complex the patients are,
how much more complex their needs are, or how to manage your job with fewer
staff because many people have left the field entirely.
(05:45):
All of these are examples at their core are based upon the belief that you have
a responsibility for an outcome,
but lacking the power or the resources to make it happen successfully.
Let's switch gears for a moment to parenting. I would say parenting,
(06:07):
in my opinion, is the toughest job in the entire world, hands down.
We are responsible for teaching, guiding, and raising another human being.
What else is more important than that?
Think of the level of responsibility involved in parenting.
(06:28):
We are in charge of a human life and not just in charge of the basic needs like
feeding and changing and keeping them warm and safe.
We're ultimately the ones responsible for their education, for their moral development,
for the way they relate with other people and how they treat people.
(06:51):
I used to think as a younger parent that it would only get easier with time, but I was very wrong.
I have found that the stress does not go down when your kids get older.
It just sort of morphs into a different kind of stress.
When my kids were little, I focused, of course, on their physical safety,
(07:15):
making sure they couldn't get into things that could make them choke,
making sure they don't bump their heads or fall down the stairs.
We have to make sure they get the proper nutrition,
they try and experience new foods, they eat their vegetables,
and always trying to find that mysterious, perfect balance of some junk but not too much junk.
(07:39):
So you have all of this emphasis on hygiene, taking baths, brushing teeth,
matching clothes appropriate to the weather.
The list in those early stages is endless. But as our kids get older,
they're doing all of those things or most of those things pretty well on their
(08:00):
own. But the stress shifts.
Now we're starting to stress about drugs and sex, alcohol, social media.
You're still worrying a bit about
their physical safety like are they walking home alone at night you're worrying
about if they're going to be able to find a job or find love or at least be
(08:23):
able to support themselves will they take care of themselves will they be good people,
How much of all of these parental responsibilities do we actually have power over?
Definitely we have influence. When we think about influence and parenting,
(08:44):
it's really thinking about in what ways are you parenting them?
So are you rewarding them for kindness and good grades and following directions?
Are you punishing or withholding freedoms when they break the rules?
Am I a good role model? Do I do what I say they should do?
(09:07):
All of those things influence our children's behavior, of course.
But at the end of the day, do I have the actual power to make my children become
the responsible, kind and independent adults that I want them to be?
No, I really don't. My kids are their own people. Your kids are their own people.
(09:33):
The older they get, the more they are going to make their own decisions.
And some of those decisions you're going to agree with and think they're smart.
And some of those decisions are going to go against everything you have ever
taught them because because they're their own people.
They're not little extensions of us, and we don't have the power to make them do anything.
(09:58):
And to me, this is the very source of parental stress.
So what can we do? Are we doomed to just feel powerless and anxious and frustrated
because that's just part of being a parent or having a job?
Maybe to some extent. But let's talk about a few ways that we can make all of
(10:20):
this stress just a little bit more manageable.
If the core issue is having responsibility but no power, we really have two options.
We can reduce the responsibility and we can increase our power.
From a practical standpoint, if you find that there are things in your life
(10:42):
that you can delegate to others, by all means, please find a way to do that.
This is about increasing our power. What are the things that we are actually in control of?
So at home or even at work, is there anyone who can help you with your responsibilities?
(11:05):
Can you afford some child care help, even just for a few hours per week,
a couple hours a week at a daycare or even a nanny or a babysitter?
Can you hire a house cleaner, a person to take care of your yard?
Could you use a food delivery service to help you with meal prep?
(11:27):
Is there a friend or a relative in your life who would love to help you out
more, but you haven't let them because you feel somehow like that's not fair
or you should be able to do it all?
Thinking about work, are there staff at your job that that are capable of learning
a new skill that you could teach them.
Because when you think about it, supervising someone to do one of your tasks
(11:50):
takes much less time than doing the task itself.
Make a list of all of your tasks and responsibilities and see if it is at all
possible to delegate more instead of trying to do it all yourself.
Think about the ways you're spending your time. Are you on committees or do
(12:13):
you donate your time to other organizations?
Of course, I am all for volunteer work.
However, if you feel you can't even manage your own stuff, then you probably
shouldn't be doing anything extra for others just yet.
It might be really hard to let go of some of these more optional activities, activities,
(12:37):
especially if you really enjoy them, but just consider for a moment how letting
those things go might reduce some of the stress in your life just a little bit more.
So that's some of the practical stuff that you can do. Now let's talk about mindset.
Let's dive a little bit deeper into this concept of responsibility and what that actually means.
(13:01):
For many of you listening, when you have a responsibility, you take it very seriously.
You are committed to giving 110% all the time.
Oftentimes underneath this sense of responsibility is a strong sense of perfectionism,
wanting to do all the things perfectly at all times.
(13:25):
And maybe if we dig a little bit deeper under that, we might find that there
are some fears of failure, fear of being judged, or fears of being criticized.
The first thing you can do is just be open to the idea that you don't have to be perfect.
(13:46):
Maybe you can be good enough. So look for places that maybe you could actually
lower your standards just a little bit in order to reduce that pressure on yourself.
If you are, for example, the number one employee in terms of how many hours
(14:06):
you work or how much you produce or however you get your ratings at your job,
could you be open to the idea of maybe being number two or three or even,
big shocker, just average.
Again, average is good enough.
Find ways in your job to reduce your own internal expectations and demands and
(14:35):
self-induced pressure, which is often related to perfectionism.
A second mindset shift underlies the belief that you should be doing at all,
and it is irresponsible or somehow immoral to get help from others.
I see this in folks who tend to be just a little bit martyr-ish.
(14:59):
They feel like they have to do everything all the time, and they feel like they're
a failure if they ask for help.
Like, good moms do it all themselves. It would be weak or lazy to get help from
others with my kids or the household.
All of these beliefs leave you feeling more responsible than you need to.
(15:24):
It is absolutely okay and sometimes necessary to get help.
Try to reduce that black and white, all or nothing thinking.
You can still be a good mom when you have a nanny or a babysitter who helps with the child care.
You can still be a fabulous homemaker if you have someone who helps you with
(15:51):
the cooking and the cleaning.
I would suggest that without all that added stress, you might actually even be a better mom.
You might be more relaxed. Maybe you're going to be able to be more attuned,
more connected to your kids because you aren't exhausted.
(16:12):
Bitter, resentful, busy, distracted, and all the things that come along with raising a family.
A third mindset shift is about learning how to say no.
For some of us, this is really, really hard because we might be people pleasers.
We genuinely care about others and we want to help.
(16:35):
But how much of your current stress is because in the moment you felt like you
couldn't say no when someone wanted to add something to your list or ask you for something.
Again, going back, thinking about your committees or your volunteer work or
(16:56):
any task where someone has asked you to help them, you have a right to say no.
It's okay to set boundaries in your life.
It's really really necessary at times for you to be able to say clearly and
directly, I am so sorry, but I'm unable to help you with that right now.
(17:21):
Or even, I know this is a big one for some folks.
I'm sorry, I originally agreed that I would help you with this project,
but unfortunately, I can no longer continue to contribute.
I hear that one a ton of times. Well, I already said yes. Okay,
well, this is really glorious. You can change your mind.
(17:43):
And another piece of this is please remember you do not have to explain why.
It is nobody's business but your own why you're making the decisions you're making in your life.
So when you say no, you don't have to give all of the reasons a long list and
(18:07):
justifications for why you're saying no.
This This is one of the most beautiful things about being a grown-up,
is that you don't have to justify or explain your decisions to anyone.
I want you to remember no is a complete sentence.
You can, of course, add an I'm sorry or I wish I could, but you really don't have to.
(18:33):
In the famous words of Nancy Reagan, just say no.
If this seems impossible to you, and I know many of you listening might say
easier said than done, and I totally agree, it is much easier to say that than to do it.
But if this seems really hard or impossible, please explore this further with
(18:57):
journaling or even in therapy.
What comes up for you when you think about setting boundaries or saying no? No.
Are you worried, again, about fears of being judged, fear that people will get
mad at you, fears that people will abandon you?
Are you concerned that it suggests that you're mean or there's something wrong with you?
(19:23):
See if you can really do a little deep dive for you into what is driving that.
Because truly, if you can identify what's driving that fear or avoidance of
saying no, you're going to be able to coach yourself and learn how to say no more often.
(19:45):
So to summarize today's episode, the very definition of stress as I see it is
feeling feeling responsible for something that we have little power or control over.
To manage this stress effectively, it is essential to understand the underlying
beliefs that are contributing to it.
(20:06):
First, think about practical solutions to help you reduce your responsibilities
by asking for for help, delegating, dropping non-essential tasks.
Recognize how perfectionism can get in your way and that the ultimate goal is
to work towards good enough.
(20:28):
Challenge that black and white, all or nothing thinking.
See if you can find a middle ground where you know you can do well and allow others to help.
And lastly, learn how to say no confidently without guilt when people try to
add more responsibilities to your plate.
(20:50):
I hope this episode has been helpful for you.
If you have found other strategies that help you manage your stress,
I would love to hear about it.
What stresses you out the most in your life and what do you do to try to manage that?
You can reach me at laurielittle.com, or I would love to see you and meet you
(21:12):
in our private Facebook community, Inner Healing Intelligence.
I'll see you in the next episode.
Thank you so much for joining me today. If you'd like to learn more,
you can reach me at laurielittle.com, where I share additional free resources
and lots of information.
(21:33):
If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean so much to me if you could.
Music.
Welcome back, everyone. This
is Dr. Lori Little. Today is episode 16 of Inner Healing Intelligence,
where we're going to talk about essential strategies to maintain inner peace at work and at home.
How stressed do you feel in your life, either in your professional or your personal
(00:23):
life? And what does it really mean to be stressed?
What does stress even mean? How much of our stress is real and how much of it
is just in our mindset, the way we're looking at or thinking about a situation?
I believe that our levels of stress are primarily self-induced,
(00:46):
meaning it is not as much the situation itself that's causing the stress,
but it's our way of making sense of our situations, how we're trying to deal with it.
Today we're going to be talking about the biggest causes of stress in our lives
and how we can start to fix it. So stay tuned.
(01:11):
Welcome, everyone. My name is Dr. Lori Little, and I'm a clinical psychologist,
mindfulness coach, psychedelic therapist, wife, and mom.
My passion is helping people learn to listen to and trust their inner healing
intelligence, that part of us that is always moving towards health and growth.
(01:33):
Ultimately, when we allow our inner healing intelligence to be our guide,
we can stop looking outside of ourselves for answers.
We can experience more joy, more peace, and more connection with others than
we may have ever thought possible.
Although it may sound simple, it is by no means easy.
(01:55):
Join me as we discuss the many challenges and opportunities that listening to
your inner healing intelligence can bring to your life.
Today we're going to be talking about all things stress-related.
Even if you aren't a Marvel fan like me, you've probably heard the famous line
(02:18):
from the Spider-Man series where Uncle Ben tells a young Peter Parker,
with great power comes great responsibility.
But what if you're in the the opposite situation.
What happens when you have tremendous responsibility but very little power?
(02:42):
I believe that this is actually the very definition of stress.
Stress is the emotion that we feel when we are in charge of something or we
are responsible for the outcome or we're being held to a certain expectation.
But along with that, we don't feel we have the power or the skills or the resources
(03:07):
to meet that demand or expectation or responsibility.
Stress comes from the belief that we are being threatened in some way.
We are feeling a sense of pressure or we're feeling frustrated or maybe even
angry about our current situation or circumstances.
(03:30):
And when we really dig deeper beneath those emotions,
what you are likely to find at its core is that you have a demand that is being
placed upon you that you feel powerless to manage.
The two biggest areas where many of us feel stress in our lives,
(03:51):
myself included, is in our professional lives and at home and particularly in parenting.
When you think of your job or your professional life, we'll start with that.
Think about all the aspects of your job that bring you the most stress.
(04:13):
Because I work with a lot of professionals, I also happen to work with a lot
of physicians and medical students, and I see patients with very high-stress jobs.
But think about your own job for a minute. What stresses you out the most?
Do you feel you have too many tasks on your to-do list and not enough time to get them all done?
(04:39):
Maybe you work with the public and people are rude to you.
They yell at you or are constantly complaining or even verbally abusive.
During the pandemic, one of the most stressful places to work,
obviously, was in health care.
And back in those early days, we didn't have a lot of information about how
(05:03):
COVID was spread, how to even keep yourself safe, and we didn't have enough resources like masks.
And if you worked in healthcare where you actually had to come into work,
you couldn't isolate yourselves from the rest of the world the way many, many other people were.
(05:23):
And since the pandemic, if you still work in healthcare,
you might feel stress about how much more complex the patients are,
how much more complex their needs are, or how to manage your job with fewer
staff because many people have left the field entirely.
(05:45):
All of these are examples at their core are based upon the belief that you have
a responsibility for an outcome,
but lacking the power or the resources to make it happen successfully.
Let's switch gears for a moment to parenting. I would say parenting,
(06:07):
in my opinion, is the toughest job in the entire world, hands down.
We are responsible for teaching, guiding, and raising another human being.
What else is more important than that?
Think of the level of responsibility involved in parenting.
(06:28):
We are in charge of a human life and not just in charge of the basic needs like
feeding and changing and keeping them warm and safe.
We're ultimately the ones responsible for their education, for their moral development,
for the way they relate with other people and how they treat people.
(06:51):
I used to think as a younger parent that it would only get easier with time, but I was very wrong.
I have found that the stress does not go down when your kids get older.
It just sort of morphs into a different kind of stress.
When my kids were little, I focused, of course, on their physical safety,
(07:15):
making sure they couldn't get into things that could make them choke,
making sure they don't bump their heads or fall down the stairs.
We have to make sure they get the proper nutrition,
they try and experience new foods, they eat their vegetables,
and always trying to find that mysterious, perfect balance of some junk but not too much junk.
(07:39):
So you have all of this emphasis on hygiene, taking baths, brushing teeth,
matching clothes appropriate to the weather.
The list in those early stages is endless. But as our kids get older,
they're doing all of those things or most of those things pretty well on their
(08:00):
own. But the stress shifts.
Now we're starting to stress about drugs and sex, alcohol, social media.
You're still worrying a bit about
their physical safety like are they walking home alone at night you're worrying
about if they're going to be able to find a job or find love or at least be
(08:23):
able to support themselves will they take care of themselves will they be good people,
How much of all of these parental responsibilities do we actually have power over?
Definitely we have influence. When we think about influence and parenting,
(08:44):
it's really thinking about in what ways are you parenting them?
So are you rewarding them for kindness and good grades and following directions?
Are you punishing or withholding freedoms when they break the rules?
Am I a good role model? Do I do what I say they should do?
(09:07):
All of those things influence our children's behavior, of course.
But at the end of the day, do I have the actual power to make my children become
the responsible, kind and independent adults that I want them to be?
No, I really don't. My kids are their own people. Your kids are their own people.
(09:33):
The older they get, the more they are going to make their own decisions.
And some of those decisions you're going to agree with and think they're smart.
And some of those decisions are going to go against everything you have ever
taught them because because they're their own people.
They're not little extensions of us, and we don't have the power to make them do anything.
(09:58):
And to me, this is the very source of parental stress.
So what can we do? Are we doomed to just feel powerless and anxious and frustrated
because that's just part of being a parent or having a job?
Maybe to some extent. But let's talk about a few ways that we can make all of
(10:20):
this stress just a little bit more manageable.
If the core issue is having responsibility but no power, we really have two options.
We can reduce the responsibility and we can increase our power.
From a practical standpoint, if you find that there are things in your life
(10:42):
that you can delegate to others, by all means, please find a way to do that.
This is about increasing our power. What are the things that we are actually in control of?
So at home or even at work, is there anyone who can help you with your responsibilities?
(11:05):
Can you afford some child care help, even just for a few hours per week,
a couple hours a week at a daycare or even a nanny or a babysitter?
Can you hire a house cleaner, a person to take care of your yard?
Could you use a food delivery service to help you with meal prep?
(11:27):
Is there a friend or a relative in your life who would love to help you out
more, but you haven't let them because you feel somehow like that's not fair
or you should be able to do it all?
Thinking about work, are there staff at your job that that are capable of learning
a new skill that you could teach them.
Because when you think about it, supervising someone to do one of your tasks
(11:50):
takes much less time than doing the task itself.
Make a list of all of your tasks and responsibilities and see if it is at all
possible to delegate more instead of trying to do it all yourself.
Think about the ways you're spending your time. Are you on committees or do
(12:13):
you donate your time to other organizations?
Of course, I am all for volunteer work.
However, if you feel you can't even manage your own stuff, then you probably
shouldn't be doing anything extra for others just yet.
It might be really hard to let go of some of these more optional activities, activities,
(12:37):
especially if you really enjoy them, but just consider for a moment how letting
those things go might reduce some of the stress in your life just a little bit more.
So that's some of the practical stuff that you can do. Now let's talk about mindset.
Let's dive a little bit deeper into this concept of responsibility and what that actually means.
(13:01):
For many of you listening, when you have a responsibility, you take it very seriously.
You are committed to giving 110% all the time.
Oftentimes underneath this sense of responsibility is a strong sense of perfectionism,
wanting to do all the things perfectly at all times.
(13:25):
And maybe if we dig a little bit deeper under that, we might find that there
are some fears of failure, fear of being judged, or fears of being criticized.
The first thing you can do is just be open to the idea that you don't have to be perfect.
(13:46):
Maybe you can be good enough. So look for places that maybe you could actually
lower your standards just a little bit in order to reduce that pressure on yourself.
If you are, for example, the number one employee in terms of how many hours
(14:06):
you work or how much you produce or however you get your ratings at your job,
could you be open to the idea of maybe being number two or three or even,
big shocker, just average.
Again, average is good enough.
Find ways in your job to reduce your own internal expectations and demands and
(14:35):
self-induced pressure, which is often related to perfectionism.
A second mindset shift underlies the belief that you should be doing at all,
and it is irresponsible or somehow immoral to get help from others.
I see this in folks who tend to be just a little bit martyr-ish.
(14:59):
They feel like they have to do everything all the time, and they feel like they're
a failure if they ask for help.
Like, good moms do it all themselves. It would be weak or lazy to get help from
others with my kids or the household.
All of these beliefs leave you feeling more responsible than you need to.
(15:24):
It is absolutely okay and sometimes necessary to get help.
Try to reduce that black and white, all or nothing thinking.
You can still be a good mom when you have a nanny or a babysitter who helps with the child care.
You can still be a fabulous homemaker if you have someone who helps you with
(15:51):
the cooking and the cleaning.
I would suggest that without all that added stress, you might actually even be a better mom.
You might be more relaxed. Maybe you're going to be able to be more attuned,
more connected to your kids because you aren't exhausted.
(16:12):
Bitter, resentful, busy, distracted, and all the things that come along with raising a family.
A third mindset shift is about learning how to say no.
For some of us, this is really, really hard because we might be people pleasers.
We genuinely care about others and we want to help.
(16:35):
But how much of your current stress is because in the moment you felt like you
couldn't say no when someone wanted to add something to your list or ask you for something.
Again, going back, thinking about your committees or your volunteer work or
(16:56):
any task where someone has asked you to help them, you have a right to say no.
It's okay to set boundaries in your life.
It's really really necessary at times for you to be able to say clearly and
directly, I am so sorry, but I'm unable to help you with that right now.
(17:21):
Or even, I know this is a big one for some folks.
I'm sorry, I originally agreed that I would help you with this project,
but unfortunately, I can no longer continue to contribute.
I hear that one a ton of times. Well, I already said yes. Okay,
well, this is really glorious. You can change your mind.
(17:43):
And another piece of this is please remember you do not have to explain why.
It is nobody's business but your own why you're making the decisions you're making in your life.
So when you say no, you don't have to give all of the reasons a long list and
(18:07):
justifications for why you're saying no.
This This is one of the most beautiful things about being a grown-up,
is that you don't have to justify or explain your decisions to anyone.
I want you to remember no is a complete sentence.
You can, of course, add an I'm sorry or I wish I could, but you really don't have to.
(18:33):
In the famous words of Nancy Reagan, just say no.
If this seems impossible to you, and I know many of you listening might say
easier said than done, and I totally agree, it is much easier to say that than to do it.
But if this seems really hard or impossible, please explore this further with
(18:57):
journaling or even in therapy.
What comes up for you when you think about setting boundaries or saying no? No.
Are you worried, again, about fears of being judged, fear that people will get
mad at you, fears that people will abandon you?
Are you concerned that it suggests that you're mean or there's something wrong with you?
(19:23):
See if you can really do a little deep dive for you into what is driving that.
Because truly, if you can identify what's driving that fear or avoidance of
saying no, you're going to be able to coach yourself and learn how to say no more often.
(19:45):
So to summarize today's episode, the very definition of stress as I see it is
feeling feeling responsible for something that we have little power or control over.
To manage this stress effectively, it is essential to understand the underlying
beliefs that are contributing to it.
(20:06):
First, think about practical solutions to help you reduce your responsibilities
by asking for for help, delegating, dropping non-essential tasks.
Recognize how perfectionism can get in your way and that the ultimate goal is
to work towards good enough.
(20:28):
Challenge that black and white, all or nothing thinking.
See if you can find a middle ground where you know you can do well and allow others to help.
And lastly, learn how to say no confidently without guilt when people try to
add more responsibilities to your plate.
(20:50):
I hope this episode has been helpful for you.
If you have found other strategies that help you manage your stress,
I would love to hear about it.
What stresses you out the most in your life and what do you do to try to manage that?
You can reach me at laurielittle.com, or I would love to see you and meet you
(21:12):
in our private Facebook community, Inner Healing Intelligence.
I'll see you in the next episode.
Thank you so much for joining me today. If you'd like to learn more,
you can reach me at laurielittle.com, where I share additional free resources
and lots of information.
(21:33):
If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean so much to me if you could.
Music.
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