April 22, 2024 • 28 mins
Welcome to our latest episode of InspiHER'd: Grown-up Girl Talk. This episode is graced by Cindy Witteman, founder and CEO of Force Magazine, bestselling author, businesswoman, philanthropist, TV show host, and podcaster. Cindy opens up about her inspiring journey from generational poverty to becoming a symbol of resilience and success.
Despite hardships, including a tumultuous marriage, Cindy held her ground. Taking to heart Dr. Phil's quote, "It's better to come from a broken home than it is to grow up in one", she worked relentlessly to construct a brighter destiny for herself and her family.
Cindy shares her uphill battle to break free from the shackles of her past and highlights the significance of recognizing when one is headed on the wrong path and summoning the courage to change course.
This episode unfolds Cindy's extraordinary journey, revealing her grit, problem-solving skills, and relentless will to succeed. As she rightly puts it, when situations become hard pressing, remember to take a different direction. So, tune in and get inspired by Cindy's journey filled with resilience, courage, and determination.
Be part of Cindy's narrative as a single mother battling adversity and fighting life’s battles for herself and her children. Cindy’s story encapsulates her journey towards security and stability while recognizing the importance of love and family values. Through her hardships, she embraced the power of gratitude, leant on the law of attraction, and used her determination to give back to society.
Cindy’s story is an example of turning hardships into opportunities for success and growth. It is proof that kindness, entrepreneurial spirit, and resilience can yield extraordinary results. Cindy's inspiring journey took her from being a fearful individual to becoming an admired non-profit founder and an inspiring TV show host.
In this candid talk, she unveils her path of overcoming hardships, forming meaningful partnerships, and creating a significant impact on those in need during the pandemic. She talks about her television show, 'Little Give', which highlights ordinary individuals making extraordinary differences and her forthcoming book, 'Beyond the Smile' which promises to reveal a raw and real side of her life, often masked behind the glitz and glamour of the digital world.
This inspiring episode serves as a reminder that, just like Cindy, we all navigate through the 'messy middle' of life, but it's our ability to persevere through those tough times that determine our true character and destiny.
Cindy Witteman (@cindy.witteman) • Instagram photos and videos
Driving Single Parents Inc. (@drivingsingleparentsinc) • Instagram photos and videos
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to Inspired, your grown-up girl talk.
I'm Stacey Fleece with Samantha Tredelius. So, Samantha, I just want to dig
right in because we've got a lot to do today.
But, you know, one of my favorite sayings throughout my professional career,
nonprofit career, the whole thing.
If you have something that needs to get done, give it to a busy woman.
(00:21):
Facts. I don't like, not a busy man, not even a I got one thing to do today man. Yeah.
Somebody who's got way too much shit going on. Yeah. So Cindy Witteman,
who's here with us today, like if I thought I was fucking busy,
I don't, I don't even, I can't, Cindy, I mean, okay, hold on.
(00:42):
This is just what you, you are currently doing, not even like all the other
shit that you've carried around, but you are founder and CEO of Force Magazine.
You are a business owner. You are a three-time international bestselling author.
You are host of the little give
tv show oh and you have a podcast which by
(01:02):
the way it must win an award for name is
manifesting is manifesting bullshit podcast also one of your book names but
i don't even i can't i don't i don't know where to start cindy hi oh you forgot
she's also a philanthropist and a mother of six and a grandmother of three and and and a beekeeper Oh,
(01:23):
yeah. Hey, busy people get shit done.
Give it to a busy woman. Like, you've got... You're like an onion on steroids.
I don't even know... Where do you want to start? There's a lot to unpack here.
And I do want to unpack all of this, because this... I also really want to talk
about your new book that's coming out this month, because I...
(01:44):
I think it's fascinating based on everything in the front, what it looks like in the back.
Anyway, Cindy, coming to us from San Antonio, Texas. I assume you're home right now. Yeah.
Yeah. So tell us how all of this, like, how did all of this get going?
How do you do? I'm going to ask the stupid question that everybody asks.
(02:07):
I don't know how you do it all, Cindy. How do you do it all?
I hate that question. I hate that question. She just does it.
Just do it. Just do it. Take action. Let's go.
So I think it's really important for people to understand, you know,
where I came from in order to understand where I'm at now. So is that okay if I start there?
Oh God, please do. So I came from generational poverty. I grew up in a single parent home.
(02:31):
Oftentimes we went without running water or electricity. Sometimes we didn't have food.
There was a lot of eating raw potatoes in the dark. And I even would bury the
potatoes and grow them so that if food sources got low, I had something to fall
back on. So I came from that type situation.
My mom was amazing and sweet and kind and loving, but terrible with money. Terrible.
(02:52):
So we had a lot of struggles growing up. So, and this is something she came
from a single parent home and, you know, it just went on for generations.
It's just, you know, kind of how it goes.
So in order to figure out how I could get out of all this as a kid,
you know, I remember being like eight years old and, you know,
I'd go up to random people and be like, how do you have running water in your house?
Hey, hold on a second. and how is it that it's the 29th of the month and you
(03:14):
have groceries in your refrigerator? Can you explain this to me?
So how did you get that nice car and how do you have gas to put in it?
And when is it getting repossessed?
You know, these are questions I would ask people that I didn't even know just
because I had to figure this out, right?
There's a song by Travis Tritt and it says, I'm going to be somebody one day.
And one of these days, I'm going to break these chains.
And I remember being a very young girl thinking about that, like.
(03:36):
Okay, this can't be it, right?
So I'm a fixer. So all my life, I've always found ways, creative ways to solve
problems, fix things. You know, okay, we're not going to have food, grow potatoes.
Hey, let's do this. You know, I've always had these, you know,
when the electricity goes out, the electric can opener is not going to work.
So I'm going to have to find a way to open these green beans.
How about if I open them before the electricity gets shut off and put them into a Ziploc bag?
(03:58):
We don't have Ziploc bags. No problem. I'll find another way.
So these are things that I always had in me that I would find ways to solve problems.
So going through all of that, not really thinking it was abnormal,
just thinking that's how everybody lived, really, except for those random people
who are super rich and didn't live in a mobile home park.
I was just shocked by all of that.
So I decided to be a fixer that I was, that the best way to break free would
(04:22):
to be get married, right?
End of teen. I mean, that solves everything. Problem solved overnight.
Yeah, right? Why take it? It's going to be so freaking good.
I could do so much better than my mom. I got this down.
Well, it didn't turn out that way. I ended up in a domestic violence relationship
and most of the abuse was towards me and not towards my daughter.
(04:45):
So I thought, no problem. Here I am a fixer again.
I can fix it. I just got to cook better. I got to clean better. I got to talk less.
You know, you got to do all these things and then, you know,
you can make it right. You know, Cindy, it's in you. You can do it.
Always trying to be a fixer. And I went through that for many years.
I was married to that in that relationship for almost 10 years.
And one day I was watching Dr. Phil, you know, like any housewife would,
(05:07):
right? Hey, sit on the couch, fold some laundry, watch Dr. Phil. And Dr.
Phil says, it's better to come from a broken home than it is to grow up in one.
And immediately when he said those words, I stood it up. I got a basket of clothes.
I got my daughters. We got the out of there. And I built a new life for us.
So I don't want to ramble on forever.
(05:28):
I just feel like it just came over me. Who knew that Dr.
Phil would have such a moment, like an impact moment for you to literally just
snap your fingers and go, okay.
Well, that was the universe talking though. Dr.
Phil was just the messenger. He was the vessel. He was. That was the universe telling you to get out.
(05:50):
Yeah. But, you know, it's interesting because you call yourself a fixer,
but you are a fixer for everyone else's problems.
Like, you're not a fixer for yourself, right?
So that leaving the house, that was finally fixing for you and.
But it probably didn't feel like you were necessarily jumping to a better situation.
Now you, was there a moment where you're like, shit, great, now I'm repeating
(06:14):
history again? Here we go. Oh, yes.
One of the things I had promised myself all my life was I wasn't going to screw
up my kids like my mom did, right?
And, of course, you know, a lot of people know or don't know if you've never
been in a domestic violence relationship, there's a lot of psychological damage that's caused.
The bumps, the bruises, the scratches, the cuts, those heal.
But those, that abuse to your mental space is where it's really at.
(06:36):
So I specifically remember strapping my five-month-old daughter into the car seat.
I had three daughters at the time and strapping that five-month-old in the car
seat going like, here I go.
I've always promised myself I'm not going to be a single mom.
And hearing that voice of you're ugly, you're stupid, you're trash,
you're no good. If you ever leave me, you're going to be on welfare and food stamp like your mama.
(06:56):
Look what you're going to do to your kids. All of these things,
that's conditioning. And I remember specifically strapping her in and being
like buckling that seatbelt because this was going to be a wild ride.
And how was I going to make sure that I broke those chains?
You know, like I told you, I'm going to be somebody one day.
And one of these days I'm going to break these chains.
How am I going to do that? How am I going to show up for my daughters?
How am I going to make them proud?
(07:17):
How am I going to not let them see me struggle? How am I going to do all this?
And I just took a deep breath and I got in the car and drove away.
And I started working two jobs. I put myself through college.
I sold plasma twice a week. And I did so many things. But I knew that if I worked
really hard in the short term, that long term, I was really going to be able
to get that pride on my daughter's faces.
(07:37):
So for somebody that you because what you're talking about is something that
we all have in us, but it's hard for that to come out for many of us at different stages.
So, like, how do you, like, help somebody to help find that in them?
Like, what do you think were some major, like, sparks for you that were like,
(07:57):
okay, like, I got to do this?
Well, I know for me, it was thinking all the while I was doing the right thing
by avoiding single parenthood, by keeping, you know, we had a stable home as
far as, like, we had running water, electricity and things and basic needs that
I didn't have. Potatoes.
Yeah, I had extra potatoes in this case in the pantry instead of the ground.
So this will be an upgrade for me, let me tell you.
(08:21):
So yeah, just, you know.
I think whenever I just really saw, like Dr. Phil said, you know,
it's better to come from a broken home than it is to grow up in one.
I realized that all the while when I thought I was doing the right thing,
I was actually doing the wrong thing.
And so I think in sometimes with some, with people and including myself,
you know, oftentimes we think we're doing the right thing. And so we just keep going with that.
(08:45):
But whenever, you know, you, you figure out that you're not doing the right
thing when nothing goes right, go left.
I love to say that. And I think it's a personal choice in each person when that
spark is lit and whenever you can take the steps necessary to escape those type
situations because there's so much more than the physical abuse.
Well, and I very similarly grew up in a single parent household and got married
(09:09):
and was like, that's never going to be me.
I even talked to my husband about it before we got married. Like,
we're not going to do that.
We're going to this is going to work. We're going to have kids and we're going
to raise our kids in a in a full house with a mom and a dad.
And I remember having those very same feelings. It's like, shit, here we go.
Like, this is this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. And now all of a
(09:32):
sudden, I find myself in the situation that I swore would never happen.
But even when our kids are little, and yours were little, mine were quite little
also at the time, they know far more than we think they do.
They see and comprehend far more than we think they do.
And so when you take them out of that situation, oftentimes it is better for
(09:55):
them, even though it doesn't feel in our soul that it is. But I can remember,
and Samantha, I've told you this, about a week after.
My husband just decided to check out. And all of a sudden I'm like,
okay, I guess I'm going to figure this out on my own now.
My son came to me and I was putting him to bed and he came to me and he said,
(10:15):
I like it better this way. And I said, what way?
And he said, with just us in the house. And I said, what do you mean?
And he said, it's so much more peaceful.
And I didn't feel like we We fought a lot.
And when we did, you know, you try, you think you're keeping it from your children.
And, but they know, they feel the energy. They know they may,
even if they don't hear it, they know.
(10:38):
So we're doing, we're doing them a disservice if we are in a bad situation and
can't make that pivot, that adjustment to get it right.
Absolutely. Yeah. And I knew my daughters were hearing, you know, what was going on.
I knew it. But since the abuse wasn't to them at the time, I could justify it.
Because, of course, you know, we all know that it's hard to take action.
(10:59):
And we all know that when you're in a situation, it's scary what's on the other side of that, you know.
And so for me, it was like really like. Yeah, well, it's the devil you know.
Yeah, it's the devil you know. Exactly. It's like, but yeah,
but my daughters are being hurt.
And do I really want to take a chance at maybe letting them down like I promised
I wouldn't? And this single parenthood and all of those things.
So it was a lot of mental strength I had to use to put away boots and get to work.
(11:25):
So you're like, okay, world, here we go. Dr. Phil has told me this is better.
So I've now left. Now I'm a single mom with three kids and I'm going to put
myself through college and I'm going to work a couple jobs.
I'm going to self-assess the gap.
I think a lot of people would do that here, but it doesn't fill much of a gap
in the Bay Area, honestly.
(11:45):
I don't think it's going to do us much good. But anyway, so let's fast forward.
How did you reinvent your life to become, well, not even to become,
but to put yourself on the path of who you are today?
So actually, it's advice from my dad, you know, Dr. Phil, you know, he gave me that solid.
And then my dad later on gave me another one, which was, you know,
(12:06):
I was, you know, being afraid of getting into poverty. Now I have a single mom. I'm doing well.
I'm okay. You know, I'm making decent money, not a million dollars,
but I'm doing all right. Paying the bills. We have water, potatoes above the ground.
So I am there working 60 hours a week at this job, 50 to 60 hours per week.
You know, I'm working nights, I'm working weekends. And at this point,
(12:26):
I'm only on one job at the time, but I'm still selling plasma.
And my dad sits me down. He's like, Cindy, it's like, you know what?
If you keep at this rate, your daughters aren't even going to know you.
You know, you've got to do something different. And I said, Dad,
I can't get another job where I can afford everything.
You know, we had our own place and I had a car that was paid in cash.
I mean, we were okay. I was like, dad, you don't understand.
(12:48):
Yeah, great idea. Everything's great in theory, but I got to pay for stuff.
And so he's like, but Cindy, your daughters are not going to know you.
Family is the most important thing in the world. I've always taught you this.
So we've got to find a way.
So I ended up saving a bunch of money.
My income tax check came. I
put it all in the bank. I took a much lower paying job in the legal field.
And I started working 40 hours a week and still selling plasma at this point.
(13:12):
And then I got that little bit more more stability under my belt.
You know, at retirement, I had, you know, we had, I had benefits,
you know, nights and weekends off, holidays off. So things started to look up
a little bit more from there.
I dig it. Now I want to talk about how you and I got connected,
which was our crusade of serving single moms.
You've got an incredible organization that you have founded,
(13:33):
and I want to talk about that. And I want to talk about what you're doing for your community.
Awesome. Okay. Well, I'll start at the beginning then. So I end up listening.
A funny fact about Cindy is I am
a three-time international bestselling author, but I don't like to read.
So I listen to audio books religiously. I love audio books.
So I end up listening to, I'm in this new workplace, this legal field,
(13:56):
and I'm doing well there.
Okay, everything's good. I get promoted a few times. I'm listening to the audible
version of Think and Grow Rich. And I realized the secret to life is gratitude
and being grateful for what you already have and also the giving back.
You know, even if you don't have a lot, there's something you can give,
whether it's a smile, an open door.
There's so many ways you can give back that's not financially.
(14:18):
So I realized this, right?
I'm coming to know all of it. And at the time I've started to,
you know, really think about the law of attraction and manifesting and trying
to figure out how I can, you know, manifest more into my life.
Cause like, again, once again, you know, one of these days I'm going to break
these chains and I'm going to be somebody one day.
And I decide like, okay, you know, I've got to think of a way to do more.
(14:38):
How can I do more? I'm ready for more.
So I start thinking through, you know, what I want to do. I want to start a
nonprofit. So one night and now I've gotten into a relationship that's stable.
So I'm at dinner with my then fiance. Now he's my husband.
And I say, you know, like I sit up, I'm sitting there eating, nothing's going on.
All of a sudden I just stand up and go like, oh, that's it. I'm going to give
away cars to single parents.
(15:00):
And my fiance is like, Cindy.
Is he just looking at you like, like you need to lay off the wine,
sister? Yeah. He's like, Cindy.
He said, sit down. Take that bottle away. Sit down.
You're not giving away anything. Do you know what a liability nightmare that is? He's a lawyer. year.
And I'm like, oh, okay. I listened very intently. I called the server over.
(15:22):
I asked her, she said, I came from a single parent home. I remember standing
in the rain at bus stops waiting for the bus.
And I remember this. And she starts telling her story. And so I listened, listened. Okay.
And my, my fiance is just like, I'm serious, Cindy, seriously, you can't do that. Okay.
So within 24 hours, I build the business plan. I build the website.
And less than a month month later, we give away the car, give away the first car to a single dad.
(15:45):
So that's the start of driving single parents.
I love it. Seriously, you can't do that. I love it.
Because when you and I were chatting, and I was getting to understand a little
bit about your program, I mean, what a vehicle can do for somebody.
And, you know, a lot of us kind of, I mean, we take it for granted about,
I mean, just getting from A to B, but also just having that little sense of
(16:06):
agency of like, Like, I can do this and I can go to work and I can pay the bills
and get my kids where they need to go.
And, you know, going back to somebody that was, you know, in your situation
20, 30 years ago, you know, you were her having a hard time getting all these things together.
And now you're able to bridge the gap for others.
(16:26):
It's so awesome.
Yeah, I was really thinking through what it is that was my primary need.
People always ask me, well, how did you do that with three kids?
How did you end up doing what you did?
And it came to me that it was that car, you know. And when I started the nonprofit,
it was really important to me not to put a Band-Aid on a gaping wound.
You know, there's a lot of nonprofits out there and I love them all.
(16:47):
I think they're doing amazing things.
You can get food, you can get diapers, you can get, you know,
formula, you can get all these wonderful things, all kinds of assistance. instance.
But the thing that I wanted to do was solve it in a way that could teach a person
or give a person the tools to make it better long-term because you need food
again tomorrow, you need diapers again three days from now, and you need formula next week.
(17:08):
So how can I do something to give these people a tool to where they could go
out and get that better paying job or go out and get that higher paying education?
How can I do that? And I realized that without my vehicle, I couldn't have worked two jobs.
I couldn't have put myself through college. Heck, Heck, I couldn't even go and
sell platinum if I wanted to, if I didn't have that car.
So that was how it really came to fruition.
(17:31):
It's a little bit of teaching to fish as opposed to. So you started this in 2017.
Yep. We just celebrated our seventh year of giving new cars.
Okay. So how does this work? Are you, are you, I'm super curious.
Are you buying used cars?
Are you, are you partnering with dealerships? like
(17:52):
what how's this how's this whole process work and how many cars
have you given away to single parents not just single moms single parents all
of the above and we try to give away three to four a year
just depending on funding and so we're really always focused on that and so
all of the above we get cars from you know car dealerships we do all kinds of
partnerships sponsorships i mean we've sponsored with some really incredible
(18:13):
places we bought cars ourselves so really it can happen multiple ways so people
can donate to our non-profit and now Now we are 100% in,
100% out, which is really important. Yes, we love that storyline.
We have a huge team of people that help us, but none of them get paid.
They're all volunteers.
So I love all of them. Thank you, Driving Single Parents team for doing an amazing
(18:33):
job helping our community.
So yeah, so we've worked with Carvana before. There's Service King.
We work with them. They changed now names to Crash Champions.
And what we do is like, and then we also partnered with State Farm at one point
who worked with Recycled Rides, who worked with Service King.
So it was a collaboration.
So in 2020, when the pandemic happened, a lot of nonprofits went under,
(18:56):
a lot of businesses went under.
And we flourished in that because what we ended up doing was partnering with
State Farm and State Farm donated the actual cars that had been totaled. Okay.
Then Recycled Rides came in and they sponsored all the parts.
And then Service King came in and restored the vehicle back to new.
So that way it would not be a salvage title because they were able to restore it back.
(19:20):
So it was a big collaboration between a lot of us and we were able to give away
four cars that way. So that really was helpful for those in need during the pandemic.
And so it's things like that, you know, and then we partner with Carvana,
who Carvana donated the entire car.
Our recipient even got to go to Carvana and actually pick out the vehicle that
she wanted that she actually had on her vision board. No, come on.
(19:43):
Yeah, it was really, really cool. So there's lots of things like that.
And community funding is also really important to us and necessary.
How many times did your husband now tell you, you can't do that,
Cindy? I think I just stopped asking.
Right? That's what you do. You just do it. I mean, honestly,
at some point he's like, I'm out. I just go, look what I did. And he's like, oh, God.
(20:03):
Yeah. I just can't anymore because apparently she can.
Yeah. So something that is super, another super wonderful thing is you've got
a TV show called Little Give.
And it's celebrating little gifts. And I want to talk about that a little bit
because that, you know, it's one thing to be in the space of doing the work.
(20:25):
You know, I get it. I sit there, too. too. It's another thing to highlight others
that are doing that work in addition to what you're already doing.
So let's talk about that a little bit.
Okay. So it's kind of a little bit of a story, but in 2022 in September,
so I have a fear of public speaking, which I did not know about this until I started the nonprofit.
And then all of a sudden people had to do interviews or news or whatever.
(20:46):
I would break out in hives. I hated it.
So in 2022 in September, I made a commitment to myself that I was just going to start saying yes.
Mind you, I'd already had the nonprofit for for quite a while at this point.
But I realized I was really limiting myself because of my own self-limiting
beliefs and my self-sabotaging behavior, right?
So I was like, I'm just going to make this commitment. So quickly thereafter,
the book deal came, the first one and the second one.
(21:08):
And then I was offered the opportunity to host a TV show. And I thought,
are you crazy? No, I cannot.
How could I host a TV show? I have a fear of public speaking.
Are you crazy? I don't know anything about TV. I have no equipment and nobody wants to hear me talk.
This is terrible. Terrible. Can't you find somebody else? And they said,
well, what if we let you name the show? What if we let you pick out whatever
(21:28):
the show is going to be about?
What if we let you pick your own guest? And what if we let you pick your own
schedule? And what if you just be in control of the whole thing? Then would you do it?
I thought, dang it. I promised myself I'd say yes, but I don't want to.
This is terrifying. So I said yes, and that's how I became a TV show host.
So over thinking through, okay, if I was going to do this big,
scary monster, what would make it worth it?
(21:50):
What would make it worth it to me to get in front of that camera,
even though I hate it, and speak, and even though I hate it,
and not pick myself apart? What could I do? What would it be?
And I thought about it. I was like, ooh, you know what? But if I could highlight
ordinary people doing extraordinary things to help others, that would be worth it.
Because whenever I started my nonprofit, people would always ask me like,
(22:11):
Cindy, what is it about you that gave you this inspiration?
I'm like, nothing. I'm just an ordinary person. I saw a need.
I found a way to meet it. And I did the work. That's it. Nothing special here.
So I thought, man, wouldn't it be cool if I could highlight other people like that?
And in addition to taking some of the nuggets from my own experience starting
(22:31):
the nonprofit, was, you know, as nonprofit founders, which I know,
you know, Samantha, that, you know, we don't want to spend our money on a huge marketing budget.
We don't want to spend a bunch of money to spread the word.
But how do we do it? I mean, a nonprofit is no good if nobody knows about it.
So then I thought, hey, you know what, if I could use this platform to springboard
other nonprofits to help them share and showcase their mission,
(22:55):
wouldn't that be worth it? And it is.
And so that's really what I've done is really just highlight people who are
doing amazing things in the world, whether it be a founder or a business owner,
and then always tie it in at the end.
If they're not already a founder of a nonprofit, they have to highlight a nonprofit
that they're proud of or excited about.
And then at the end of every episode, I ask the audience to go and make a donation,
(23:18):
whether it be a dollar or $5. Every little gift can really make a big impact.
I love it. I love it so much. And it's so great because there is nothing better
than hearing about people doing good shit.
Okay. Because everything around us is so negative and so awful all the time
to hear the stories and celebrate those that are out there doing work is it's awesome.
(23:38):
So thank you for sharing our story and also just sharing all the other stories
out there. I think you're pretty awesome.
Thank you. And I think it's so worth it. It's so worth it. And I'm big about
people are really big about their ROI, right?
Return on investment. Everybody wants a return on investment.
I don't care about that anymore. I've really focused now on my ROE, return on energy.
(23:59):
And so when I get my return on energy, it makes everything better.
It makes me feel better inside.
It helps other people. We keep spreading the ripple effect of kindness and love and generosity.
And if we can showcase more good news, there's so much bad news out there.
If we can highlight and showcase more good news, we can make people realize
this world, it may not be perfect, but there's a lot of phenomenal people in
(24:19):
it who are out there with a mission to make it a a better place.
And that right there is worth every single time I get on the camera,
even whenever I feel afraid.
I don't think there's like more good people than there are assholes. I really do.
But I mean, Stacey, some days we may tend to differ.
Sometimes you just attract the assholes and we just have to shift the energy a little bit.
(24:41):
All right, Cindy, clearly you're amazing. You're changing the world.
You've shown up for your kids. Your daughters, I'm sure, are amazingly proud
of you. Your husband stopped telling you no.
You walk around the world with just happy energy. You just put it out there.
You do have a new book coming out this month, and it's actually called Beyond the Smile.
(25:06):
And I'm sure with a smile on your face is how everyone is used to seeing you.
And that's what you project. But there is a lot going on behind the scenes. And there are, let's.
You know, trying to juggle six kids, three grandkids, a business,
a nonprofit, a podcast, a television show.
(25:27):
Like, tell us a little bit about the book, because this is going to be probably
a little more raw and real than maybe some of your other books.
Absolutely. And so really, my inspiration for Beyond the Smile is that,
you know, I see our young people and all of us, not just, you know, teenagers and kids.
I mean, all of us, you know, you might look at, you know, an Instagram post,
(25:47):
or you might look at somebody's Facebook feed.
And you might be like, wow, they have it all figured out. And they're beautiful
images and they're perfect vacation photos and they're perfect husband and they're perfect. Yeah.
And you're, and you're just there like, what the hell's wrong with me?
You know, like these people, they got it all figured out.
How come I can't, how come I can't even get my shit together in the car one
(26:07):
time? Right? Like what the hell, what gives?
So really my inspiration for the book was to show that, you know,
you might've seen me on the cover of a magazine, but I'm not perfect.
I still get flat tires. Things don't go wrong.
I got hit by a truck last year. I mean, my body got hit by a truck last year.
Stump goes wrong. It's not perfect. And all of those beautiful,
shiny images you see online are just the front cover.
(26:31):
And if you open up the book, you can see the real story behind everybody and
nobody has it figured out.
And so I really wanted to use this as a way to show people that there's a lot
more going on behind hide those perfect images. Hence the reason why I named it Beyond the Smile.
Which is perfect because we talk about this all the time.
You know, life is a bunch of hills and valleys and trials and tribulations.
(26:55):
And, you know, to sit and only showcase the great parts, that's one thing.
But to really peel back and show that it's not always peaches and strawberries
is a whole different animal.
And that takes courage because that's showing, you know, quote unquote,
maybe some weaknesses or maybe some things that we're not super proud of.
But like, hey, man, like life happens.
(27:15):
And so I think a lot of people are gonna be able to really connect and probably
find a lot of similarities when they start opening up the book.
I mean, I'm, I am far from perfect.
And I love to share and live loudly.
But it is I mean, it is hard sometimes, because it does show maybe some parts
of yourself that you're not super excited about.
Well, but I think the takeaway too, is there is all this bullshit that happens
(27:38):
in the background, You get hit by a truck, ew, you get a flat tire,
you forget the pizza in the oven, you burn it, whatever it is, right? Right.
You're still getting all the shit done. You're still doing all this stuff.
You are still giving back to the community. You are still projecting out there the good energy.
And so it doesn't have to be perfect behind the scenes to do the work and to
(28:00):
do what's right for the world, right?
Absolutely. I love to say we're all in the messy middle, whether we like it or not.
Yeah, I'm not even in the middle. I'm just messy.
But maybe one day I'll make it to the middle. That's maybe that should be on
my vision board. and make it the middle.
Being messy and being relatable. We're going to set a low bar.
Yeah, being messy and being relatable, I think are what really make you somebody
(28:24):
that can be somebody that people
look up to and somebody that people can really go, okay, you know what?
Like she has been through hell and back and come out in a completely different
format and taken the not so great parts of life and turn them into something beautiful.
Cindy, your story, your being, your essence, everything about you is something
to keep an eye on. We, I know, feel incredibly inspired and we hope that everybody
(28:48):
else gets out there this week, does something good for the world and is inspired.
Hello and welcome to Inspired, your grown-up girl talk.
I'm Stacey Fleece with Samantha Tredelius. So, Samantha, I just want to dig
right in because we've got a lot to do today.
But, you know, one of my favorite sayings throughout my professional career,
nonprofit career, the whole thing.
If you have something that needs to get done, give it to a busy woman.
(00:21):
Facts. I don't like, not a busy man, not even a I got one thing to do today man. Yeah.
Somebody who's got way too much shit going on. Yeah. So Cindy Witteman,
who's here with us today, like if I thought I was fucking busy,
I don't, I don't even, I can't, Cindy, I mean, okay, hold on.
(00:42):
This is just what you, you are currently doing, not even like all the other
shit that you've carried around, but you are founder and CEO of Force Magazine.
You are a business owner. You are a three-time international bestselling author.
You are host of the little give
tv show oh and you have a podcast which by
(01:02):
the way it must win an award for name is
manifesting is manifesting bullshit podcast also one of your book names but
i don't even i can't i don't i don't know where to start cindy hi oh you forgot
she's also a philanthropist and a mother of six and a grandmother of three and and and a beekeeper Oh,
(01:23):
yeah. Hey, busy people get shit done.
Give it to a busy woman. Like, you've got... You're like an onion on steroids.
I don't even know... Where do you want to start? There's a lot to unpack here.
And I do want to unpack all of this, because this... I also really want to talk
about your new book that's coming out this month, because I...
(01:44):
I think it's fascinating based on everything in the front, what it looks like in the back.
Anyway, Cindy, coming to us from San Antonio, Texas. I assume you're home right now. Yeah.
Yeah. So tell us how all of this, like, how did all of this get going?
How do you do? I'm going to ask the stupid question that everybody asks.
(02:07):
I don't know how you do it all, Cindy. How do you do it all?
I hate that question. I hate that question. She just does it.
Just do it. Just do it. Take action. Let's go.
So I think it's really important for people to understand, you know,
where I came from in order to understand where I'm at now. So is that okay if I start there?
Oh God, please do. So I came from generational poverty. I grew up in a single parent home.
(02:31):
Oftentimes we went without running water or electricity. Sometimes we didn't have food.
There was a lot of eating raw potatoes in the dark. And I even would bury the
potatoes and grow them so that if food sources got low, I had something to fall
back on. So I came from that type situation.
My mom was amazing and sweet and kind and loving, but terrible with money. Terrible.
(02:52):
So we had a lot of struggles growing up. So, and this is something she came
from a single parent home and, you know, it just went on for generations.
It's just, you know, kind of how it goes.
So in order to figure out how I could get out of all this as a kid,
you know, I remember being like eight years old and, you know,
I'd go up to random people and be like, how do you have running water in your house?
Hey, hold on a second. and how is it that it's the 29th of the month and you
(03:14):
have groceries in your refrigerator? Can you explain this to me?
So how did you get that nice car and how do you have gas to put in it?
And when is it getting repossessed?
You know, these are questions I would ask people that I didn't even know just
because I had to figure this out, right?
There's a song by Travis Tritt and it says, I'm going to be somebody one day.
And one of these days, I'm going to break these chains.
And I remember being a very young girl thinking about that, like.
(03:36):
Okay, this can't be it, right?
So I'm a fixer. So all my life, I've always found ways, creative ways to solve
problems, fix things. You know, okay, we're not going to have food, grow potatoes.
Hey, let's do this. You know, I've always had these, you know,
when the electricity goes out, the electric can opener is not going to work.
So I'm going to have to find a way to open these green beans.
How about if I open them before the electricity gets shut off and put them into a Ziploc bag?
(03:58):
We don't have Ziploc bags. No problem. I'll find another way.
So these are things that I always had in me that I would find ways to solve problems.
So going through all of that, not really thinking it was abnormal,
just thinking that's how everybody lived, really, except for those random people
who are super rich and didn't live in a mobile home park.
I was just shocked by all of that.
So I decided to be a fixer that I was, that the best way to break free would
(04:22):
to be get married, right?
End of teen. I mean, that solves everything. Problem solved overnight.
Yeah, right? Why take it? It's going to be so freaking good.
I could do so much better than my mom. I got this down.
Well, it didn't turn out that way. I ended up in a domestic violence relationship
and most of the abuse was towards me and not towards my daughter.
(04:45):
So I thought, no problem. Here I am a fixer again.
I can fix it. I just got to cook better. I got to clean better. I got to talk less.
You know, you got to do all these things and then, you know,
you can make it right. You know, Cindy, it's in you. You can do it.
Always trying to be a fixer. And I went through that for many years.
I was married to that in that relationship for almost 10 years.
And one day I was watching Dr. Phil, you know, like any housewife would,
(05:07):
right? Hey, sit on the couch, fold some laundry, watch Dr. Phil. And Dr.
Phil says, it's better to come from a broken home than it is to grow up in one.
And immediately when he said those words, I stood it up. I got a basket of clothes.
I got my daughters. We got the out of there. And I built a new life for us.
So I don't want to ramble on forever.
(05:28):
I just feel like it just came over me. Who knew that Dr.
Phil would have such a moment, like an impact moment for you to literally just
snap your fingers and go, okay.
Well, that was the universe talking though. Dr.
Phil was just the messenger. He was the vessel. He was. That was the universe telling you to get out.
(05:50):
Yeah. But, you know, it's interesting because you call yourself a fixer,
but you are a fixer for everyone else's problems.
Like, you're not a fixer for yourself, right?
So that leaving the house, that was finally fixing for you and.
But it probably didn't feel like you were necessarily jumping to a better situation.
Now you, was there a moment where you're like, shit, great, now I'm repeating
(06:14):
history again? Here we go. Oh, yes.
One of the things I had promised myself all my life was I wasn't going to screw
up my kids like my mom did, right?
And, of course, you know, a lot of people know or don't know if you've never
been in a domestic violence relationship, there's a lot of psychological damage that's caused.
The bumps, the bruises, the scratches, the cuts, those heal.
But those, that abuse to your mental space is where it's really at.
(06:36):
So I specifically remember strapping my five-month-old daughter into the car seat.
I had three daughters at the time and strapping that five-month-old in the car
seat going like, here I go.
I've always promised myself I'm not going to be a single mom.
And hearing that voice of you're ugly, you're stupid, you're trash,
you're no good. If you ever leave me, you're going to be on welfare and food stamp like your mama.
(06:56):
Look what you're going to do to your kids. All of these things,
that's conditioning. And I remember specifically strapping her in and being
like buckling that seatbelt because this was going to be a wild ride.
And how was I going to make sure that I broke those chains?
You know, like I told you, I'm going to be somebody one day.
And one of these days I'm going to break these chains.
How am I going to do that? How am I going to show up for my daughters?
How am I going to make them proud?
(07:17):
How am I going to not let them see me struggle? How am I going to do all this?
And I just took a deep breath and I got in the car and drove away.
And I started working two jobs. I put myself through college.
I sold plasma twice a week. And I did so many things. But I knew that if I worked
really hard in the short term, that long term, I was really going to be able
to get that pride on my daughter's faces.
(07:37):
So for somebody that you because what you're talking about is something that
we all have in us, but it's hard for that to come out for many of us at different stages.
So, like, how do you, like, help somebody to help find that in them?
Like, what do you think were some major, like, sparks for you that were like,
(07:57):
okay, like, I got to do this?
Well, I know for me, it was thinking all the while I was doing the right thing
by avoiding single parenthood, by keeping, you know, we had a stable home as
far as, like, we had running water, electricity and things and basic needs that
I didn't have. Potatoes.
Yeah, I had extra potatoes in this case in the pantry instead of the ground.
So this will be an upgrade for me, let me tell you.
(08:21):
So yeah, just, you know.
I think whenever I just really saw, like Dr. Phil said, you know,
it's better to come from a broken home than it is to grow up in one.
I realized that all the while when I thought I was doing the right thing,
I was actually doing the wrong thing.
And so I think in sometimes with some, with people and including myself,
you know, oftentimes we think we're doing the right thing. And so we just keep going with that.
(08:45):
But whenever, you know, you, you figure out that you're not doing the right
thing when nothing goes right, go left.
I love to say that. And I think it's a personal choice in each person when that
spark is lit and whenever you can take the steps necessary to escape those type
situations because there's so much more than the physical abuse.
Well, and I very similarly grew up in a single parent household and got married
(09:09):
and was like, that's never going to be me.
I even talked to my husband about it before we got married. Like,
we're not going to do that.
We're going to this is going to work. We're going to have kids and we're going
to raise our kids in a in a full house with a mom and a dad.
And I remember having those very same feelings. It's like, shit, here we go.
Like, this is this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. And now all of a
(09:32):
sudden, I find myself in the situation that I swore would never happen.
But even when our kids are little, and yours were little, mine were quite little
also at the time, they know far more than we think they do.
They see and comprehend far more than we think they do.
And so when you take them out of that situation, oftentimes it is better for
(09:55):
them, even though it doesn't feel in our soul that it is. But I can remember,
and Samantha, I've told you this, about a week after.
My husband just decided to check out. And all of a sudden I'm like,
okay, I guess I'm going to figure this out on my own now.
My son came to me and I was putting him to bed and he came to me and he said,
(10:15):
I like it better this way. And I said, what way?
And he said, with just us in the house. And I said, what do you mean?
And he said, it's so much more peaceful.
And I didn't feel like we We fought a lot.
And when we did, you know, you try, you think you're keeping it from your children.
And, but they know, they feel the energy. They know they may,
even if they don't hear it, they know.
(10:38):
So we're doing, we're doing them a disservice if we are in a bad situation and
can't make that pivot, that adjustment to get it right.
Absolutely. Yeah. And I knew my daughters were hearing, you know, what was going on.
I knew it. But since the abuse wasn't to them at the time, I could justify it.
Because, of course, you know, we all know that it's hard to take action.
(10:59):
And we all know that when you're in a situation, it's scary what's on the other side of that, you know.
And so for me, it was like really like. Yeah, well, it's the devil you know.
Yeah, it's the devil you know. Exactly. It's like, but yeah,
but my daughters are being hurt.
And do I really want to take a chance at maybe letting them down like I promised
I wouldn't? And this single parenthood and all of those things.
So it was a lot of mental strength I had to use to put away boots and get to work.
(11:25):
So you're like, okay, world, here we go. Dr. Phil has told me this is better.
So I've now left. Now I'm a single mom with three kids and I'm going to put
myself through college and I'm going to work a couple jobs.
I'm going to self-assess the gap.
I think a lot of people would do that here, but it doesn't fill much of a gap
in the Bay Area, honestly.
(11:45):
I don't think it's going to do us much good. But anyway, so let's fast forward.
How did you reinvent your life to become, well, not even to become,
but to put yourself on the path of who you are today?
So actually, it's advice from my dad, you know, Dr. Phil, you know, he gave me that solid.
And then my dad later on gave me another one, which was, you know,
(12:06):
I was, you know, being afraid of getting into poverty. Now I have a single mom. I'm doing well.
I'm okay. You know, I'm making decent money, not a million dollars,
but I'm doing all right. Paying the bills. We have water, potatoes above the ground.
So I am there working 60 hours a week at this job, 50 to 60 hours per week.
You know, I'm working nights, I'm working weekends. And at this point,
(12:26):
I'm only on one job at the time, but I'm still selling plasma.
And my dad sits me down. He's like, Cindy, it's like, you know what?
If you keep at this rate, your daughters aren't even going to know you.
You know, you've got to do something different. And I said, Dad,
I can't get another job where I can afford everything.
You know, we had our own place and I had a car that was paid in cash.
I mean, we were okay. I was like, dad, you don't understand.
(12:48):
Yeah, great idea. Everything's great in theory, but I got to pay for stuff.
And so he's like, but Cindy, your daughters are not going to know you.
Family is the most important thing in the world. I've always taught you this.
So we've got to find a way.
So I ended up saving a bunch of money.
My income tax check came. I
put it all in the bank. I took a much lower paying job in the legal field.
And I started working 40 hours a week and still selling plasma at this point.
(13:12):
And then I got that little bit more more stability under my belt.
You know, at retirement, I had, you know, we had, I had benefits,
you know, nights and weekends off, holidays off. So things started to look up
a little bit more from there.
I dig it. Now I want to talk about how you and I got connected,
which was our crusade of serving single moms.
You've got an incredible organization that you have founded,
(13:33):
and I want to talk about that. And I want to talk about what you're doing for your community.
Awesome. Okay. Well, I'll start at the beginning then. So I end up listening.
A funny fact about Cindy is I am
a three-time international bestselling author, but I don't like to read.
So I listen to audio books religiously. I love audio books.
So I end up listening to, I'm in this new workplace, this legal field,
(13:56):
and I'm doing well there.
Okay, everything's good. I get promoted a few times. I'm listening to the audible
version of Think and Grow Rich. And I realized the secret to life is gratitude
and being grateful for what you already have and also the giving back.
You know, even if you don't have a lot, there's something you can give,
whether it's a smile, an open door.
There's so many ways you can give back that's not financially.
(14:18):
So I realized this, right?
I'm coming to know all of it. And at the time I've started to,
you know, really think about the law of attraction and manifesting and trying
to figure out how I can, you know, manifest more into my life.
Cause like, again, once again, you know, one of these days I'm going to break
these chains and I'm going to be somebody one day.
And I decide like, okay, you know, I've got to think of a way to do more.
(14:38):
How can I do more? I'm ready for more.
So I start thinking through, you know, what I want to do. I want to start a
nonprofit. So one night and now I've gotten into a relationship that's stable.
So I'm at dinner with my then fiance. Now he's my husband.
And I say, you know, like I sit up, I'm sitting there eating, nothing's going on.
All of a sudden I just stand up and go like, oh, that's it. I'm going to give
away cars to single parents.
(15:00):
And my fiance is like, Cindy.
Is he just looking at you like, like you need to lay off the wine,
sister? Yeah. He's like, Cindy.
He said, sit down. Take that bottle away. Sit down.
You're not giving away anything. Do you know what a liability nightmare that is? He's a lawyer. year.
And I'm like, oh, okay. I listened very intently. I called the server over.
(15:22):
I asked her, she said, I came from a single parent home. I remember standing
in the rain at bus stops waiting for the bus.
And I remember this. And she starts telling her story. And so I listened, listened. Okay.
And my, my fiance is just like, I'm serious, Cindy, seriously, you can't do that. Okay.
So within 24 hours, I build the business plan. I build the website.
And less than a month month later, we give away the car, give away the first car to a single dad.
(15:45):
So that's the start of driving single parents.
I love it. Seriously, you can't do that. I love it.
Because when you and I were chatting, and I was getting to understand a little
bit about your program, I mean, what a vehicle can do for somebody.
And, you know, a lot of us kind of, I mean, we take it for granted about,
I mean, just getting from A to B, but also just having that little sense of
(16:06):
agency of like, Like, I can do this and I can go to work and I can pay the bills
and get my kids where they need to go.
And, you know, going back to somebody that was, you know, in your situation
20, 30 years ago, you know, you were her having a hard time getting all these things together.
And now you're able to bridge the gap for others.
(16:26):
It's so awesome.
Yeah, I was really thinking through what it is that was my primary need.
People always ask me, well, how did you do that with three kids?
How did you end up doing what you did?
And it came to me that it was that car, you know. And when I started the nonprofit,
it was really important to me not to put a Band-Aid on a gaping wound.
You know, there's a lot of nonprofits out there and I love them all.
(16:47):
I think they're doing amazing things.
You can get food, you can get diapers, you can get, you know,
formula, you can get all these wonderful things, all kinds of assistance. instance.
But the thing that I wanted to do was solve it in a way that could teach a person
or give a person the tools to make it better long-term because you need food
again tomorrow, you need diapers again three days from now, and you need formula next week.
(17:08):
So how can I do something to give these people a tool to where they could go
out and get that better paying job or go out and get that higher paying education?
How can I do that? And I realized that without my vehicle, I couldn't have worked two jobs.
I couldn't have put myself through college. Heck, Heck, I couldn't even go and
sell platinum if I wanted to, if I didn't have that car.
So that was how it really came to fruition.
(17:31):
It's a little bit of teaching to fish as opposed to. So you started this in 2017.
Yep. We just celebrated our seventh year of giving new cars.
Okay. So how does this work? Are you, are you, I'm super curious.
Are you buying used cars?
Are you, are you partnering with dealerships? like
(17:52):
what how's this how's this whole process work and how many cars
have you given away to single parents not just single moms single parents all
of the above and we try to give away three to four a year
just depending on funding and so we're really always focused on that and so
all of the above we get cars from you know car dealerships we do all kinds of
partnerships sponsorships i mean we've sponsored with some really incredible
(18:13):
places we bought cars ourselves so really it can happen multiple ways so people
can donate to our non-profit and now Now we are 100% in,
100% out, which is really important. Yes, we love that storyline.
We have a huge team of people that help us, but none of them get paid.
They're all volunteers.
So I love all of them. Thank you, Driving Single Parents team for doing an amazing
(18:33):
job helping our community.
So yeah, so we've worked with Carvana before. There's Service King.
We work with them. They changed now names to Crash Champions.
And what we do is like, and then we also partnered with State Farm at one point
who worked with Recycled Rides, who worked with Service King.
So it was a collaboration.
So in 2020, when the pandemic happened, a lot of nonprofits went under,
(18:56):
a lot of businesses went under.
And we flourished in that because what we ended up doing was partnering with
State Farm and State Farm donated the actual cars that had been totaled. Okay.
Then Recycled Rides came in and they sponsored all the parts.
And then Service King came in and restored the vehicle back to new.
So that way it would not be a salvage title because they were able to restore it back.
(19:20):
So it was a big collaboration between a lot of us and we were able to give away
four cars that way. So that really was helpful for those in need during the pandemic.
And so it's things like that, you know, and then we partner with Carvana,
who Carvana donated the entire car.
Our recipient even got to go to Carvana and actually pick out the vehicle that
she wanted that she actually had on her vision board. No, come on.
(19:43):
Yeah, it was really, really cool. So there's lots of things like that.
And community funding is also really important to us and necessary.
How many times did your husband now tell you, you can't do that,
Cindy? I think I just stopped asking.
Right? That's what you do. You just do it. I mean, honestly,
at some point he's like, I'm out. I just go, look what I did. And he's like, oh, God.
(20:03):
Yeah. I just can't anymore because apparently she can.
Yeah. So something that is super, another super wonderful thing is you've got
a TV show called Little Give.
And it's celebrating little gifts. And I want to talk about that a little bit
because that, you know, it's one thing to be in the space of doing the work.
(20:25):
You know, I get it. I sit there, too. too. It's another thing to highlight others
that are doing that work in addition to what you're already doing.
So let's talk about that a little bit.
Okay. So it's kind of a little bit of a story, but in 2022 in September,
so I have a fear of public speaking, which I did not know about this until I started the nonprofit.
And then all of a sudden people had to do interviews or news or whatever.
(20:46):
I would break out in hives. I hated it.
So in 2022 in September, I made a commitment to myself that I was just going to start saying yes.
Mind you, I'd already had the nonprofit for for quite a while at this point.
But I realized I was really limiting myself because of my own self-limiting
beliefs and my self-sabotaging behavior, right?
So I was like, I'm just going to make this commitment. So quickly thereafter,
the book deal came, the first one and the second one.
(21:08):
And then I was offered the opportunity to host a TV show. And I thought,
are you crazy? No, I cannot.
How could I host a TV show? I have a fear of public speaking.
Are you crazy? I don't know anything about TV. I have no equipment and nobody wants to hear me talk.
This is terrible. Terrible. Can't you find somebody else? And they said,
well, what if we let you name the show? What if we let you pick out whatever
(21:28):
the show is going to be about?
What if we let you pick your own guest? And what if we let you pick your own
schedule? And what if you just be in control of the whole thing? Then would you do it?
I thought, dang it. I promised myself I'd say yes, but I don't want to.
This is terrifying. So I said yes, and that's how I became a TV show host.
So over thinking through, okay, if I was going to do this big,
scary monster, what would make it worth it?
(21:50):
What would make it worth it to me to get in front of that camera,
even though I hate it, and speak, and even though I hate it,
and not pick myself apart? What could I do? What would it be?
And I thought about it. I was like, ooh, you know what? But if I could highlight
ordinary people doing extraordinary things to help others, that would be worth it.
Because whenever I started my nonprofit, people would always ask me like,
(22:11):
Cindy, what is it about you that gave you this inspiration?
I'm like, nothing. I'm just an ordinary person. I saw a need.
I found a way to meet it. And I did the work. That's it. Nothing special here.
So I thought, man, wouldn't it be cool if I could highlight other people like that?
And in addition to taking some of the nuggets from my own experience starting
(22:31):
the nonprofit, was, you know, as nonprofit founders, which I know,
you know, Samantha, that, you know, we don't want to spend our money on a huge marketing budget.
We don't want to spend a bunch of money to spread the word.
But how do we do it? I mean, a nonprofit is no good if nobody knows about it.
So then I thought, hey, you know what, if I could use this platform to springboard
other nonprofits to help them share and showcase their mission,
(22:55):
wouldn't that be worth it? And it is.
And so that's really what I've done is really just highlight people who are
doing amazing things in the world, whether it be a founder or a business owner,
and then always tie it in at the end.
If they're not already a founder of a nonprofit, they have to highlight a nonprofit
that they're proud of or excited about.
And then at the end of every episode, I ask the audience to go and make a donation,
(23:18):
whether it be a dollar or $5. Every little gift can really make a big impact.
I love it. I love it so much. And it's so great because there is nothing better
than hearing about people doing good shit.
Okay. Because everything around us is so negative and so awful all the time
to hear the stories and celebrate those that are out there doing work is it's awesome.
(23:38):
So thank you for sharing our story and also just sharing all the other stories
out there. I think you're pretty awesome.
Thank you. And I think it's so worth it. It's so worth it. And I'm big about
people are really big about their ROI, right?
Return on investment. Everybody wants a return on investment.
I don't care about that anymore. I've really focused now on my ROE, return on energy.
(23:59):
And so when I get my return on energy, it makes everything better.
It makes me feel better inside.
It helps other people. We keep spreading the ripple effect of kindness and love and generosity.
And if we can showcase more good news, there's so much bad news out there.
If we can highlight and showcase more good news, we can make people realize
this world, it may not be perfect, but there's a lot of phenomenal people in
(24:19):
it who are out there with a mission to make it a a better place.
And that right there is worth every single time I get on the camera,
even whenever I feel afraid.
I don't think there's like more good people than there are assholes. I really do.
But I mean, Stacey, some days we may tend to differ.
Sometimes you just attract the assholes and we just have to shift the energy a little bit.
(24:41):
All right, Cindy, clearly you're amazing. You're changing the world.
You've shown up for your kids. Your daughters, I'm sure, are amazingly proud
of you. Your husband stopped telling you no.
You walk around the world with just happy energy. You just put it out there.
You do have a new book coming out this month, and it's actually called Beyond the Smile.
(25:06):
And I'm sure with a smile on your face is how everyone is used to seeing you.
And that's what you project. But there is a lot going on behind the scenes. And there are, let's.
You know, trying to juggle six kids, three grandkids, a business,
a nonprofit, a podcast, a television show.
(25:27):
Like, tell us a little bit about the book, because this is going to be probably
a little more raw and real than maybe some of your other books.
Absolutely. And so really, my inspiration for Beyond the Smile is that,
you know, I see our young people and all of us, not just, you know, teenagers and kids.
I mean, all of us, you know, you might look at, you know, an Instagram post,
(25:47):
or you might look at somebody's Facebook feed.
And you might be like, wow, they have it all figured out. And they're beautiful
images and they're perfect vacation photos and they're perfect husband and they're perfect. Yeah.
And you're, and you're just there like, what the hell's wrong with me?
You know, like these people, they got it all figured out.
How come I can't, how come I can't even get my shit together in the car one
(26:07):
time? Right? Like what the hell, what gives?
So really my inspiration for the book was to show that, you know,
you might've seen me on the cover of a magazine, but I'm not perfect.
I still get flat tires. Things don't go wrong.
I got hit by a truck last year. I mean, my body got hit by a truck last year.
Stump goes wrong. It's not perfect. And all of those beautiful,
shiny images you see online are just the front cover.
(26:31):
And if you open up the book, you can see the real story behind everybody and
nobody has it figured out.
And so I really wanted to use this as a way to show people that there's a lot
more going on behind hide those perfect images. Hence the reason why I named it Beyond the Smile.
Which is perfect because we talk about this all the time.
You know, life is a bunch of hills and valleys and trials and tribulations.
(26:55):
And, you know, to sit and only showcase the great parts, that's one thing.
But to really peel back and show that it's not always peaches and strawberries
is a whole different animal.
And that takes courage because that's showing, you know, quote unquote,
maybe some weaknesses or maybe some things that we're not super proud of.
But like, hey, man, like life happens.
(27:15):
And so I think a lot of people are gonna be able to really connect and probably
find a lot of similarities when they start opening up the book.
I mean, I'm, I am far from perfect.
And I love to share and live loudly.
But it is I mean, it is hard sometimes, because it does show maybe some parts
of yourself that you're not super excited about.
Well, but I think the takeaway too, is there is all this bullshit that happens
(27:38):
in the background, You get hit by a truck, ew, you get a flat tire,
you forget the pizza in the oven, you burn it, whatever it is, right? Right.
You're still getting all the shit done. You're still doing all this stuff.
You are still giving back to the community. You are still projecting out there the good energy.
And so it doesn't have to be perfect behind the scenes to do the work and to
(28:00):
do what's right for the world, right?
Absolutely. I love to say we're all in the messy middle, whether we like it or not.
Yeah, I'm not even in the middle. I'm just messy.
But maybe one day I'll make it to the middle. That's maybe that should be on
my vision board. and make it the middle.
Being messy and being relatable. We're going to set a low bar.
Yeah, being messy and being relatable, I think are what really make you somebody
(28:24):
that can be somebody that people
look up to and somebody that people can really go, okay, you know what?
Like she has been through hell and back and come out in a completely different
format and taken the not so great parts of life and turn them into something beautiful.
Cindy, your story, your being, your essence, everything about you is something
to keep an eye on. We, I know, feel incredibly inspired and we hope that everybody
(28:48):
else gets out there this week, does something good for the world and is inspired.
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