April 8, 2024 • 28 mins
In this eye-opening episode of InspiHER'd, hosts Stacey Fleece and Samantha Tradelius candidly discuss the challenges of managing business highs and lows. They're joined by expert guest, Carina Groombridge, a certified business and mindset coach helping women upscale their enterprises. Carina's realistic approach to sustainable growth is not only comforting but enlightening. From leaving a mechanical engineering degree to helm a coaching career, Carina's journey emphasizes the power of choosing passion over pressure. Emphasizing the importance of self-care amidst the hustle, this episode sparks a conversation about overcoming the 'perfection' struggle and maintaining a balanced perspective for efficient business operations.
Dive into transformative dialogues about women's common professional struggles, like lack of confidence, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome. In her dialogue with the hosts, Carina offers fresh perspectives on tackling these barriers. She provides actionable advice on prioritizing personal development, ultimately strengthening one's professional journey. The narrative takes a candid turn as Karina addresses the challenges women face when they must reinvent their careers and lives due to unforeseen circumstances. Powered with a positive spin, she demonstrates how women can leverage such situations as opportunities for growth.
Wrapping up with an insight into the widespread prevalence of these struggles among women across cultures, this episode serves as a reminder for steadfast focus on personal joy. It fosters the mentality of not just surviving the business world but thriving and making an impact. Tune in for a much-needed dose of motivating grown-up girl talk, practical business insights, and inspiration for sustainable, passion-infused business growth.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, and welcome to Inspired, your grown-up girl talk.
I'm Stacey Fleece, and once again, I'm with Samantha Tredelius. Samantha, how are you?
God, it's like you can't get rid of me, but would you ever really want to get rid of me? I don't know.
No, but as I was telling you, I'm on the warpath today.
Yes. There's something in the air. This is not a good workday.
(00:22):
I want to kill multiple people.
Really good. Totally fine. And, you know, it's days, there are days where I
fall out of love with my business. And today is a day.
And I always hope that, that we kiss and make up later. And so far, it's worked out.
But sometimes I think, you know, all of us professional working women have those
(00:46):
moments where we're like, what the fuck am I doing?
And why am I doing it? And how can I be more effective?
Perspective when this leads us into our guest today right this is where karina
groombridge comes into play karina thank you for being here i need this today
probably more than ever so,
i'm just gonna i'm gonna take it all in but you are let's say officially you
(01:09):
are a certified business and mindset coach for women looking to scale their
business but it also feels like maybe Maybe looking to scale their lives and
merging the two together in a harmonious place,
which I do not have right now, clearly.
I like to refer to it as sustainable because growth without it being sustainable
(01:32):
and like, you know, not wanting to kill somebody every week, every day.
Like we want to make it sustainable and something that you can enjoy and show
up to. And yeah, well, I really think there's a lot, especially women who like
us, who are responsible for building our own book of business,
even though we may not be fully self-employed.
Some are some just, you know, we own our business every day is a new game of
(01:58):
whack-a-mole and it's not effective and it's not productive and we can't we
can't get to that next level.
Please tell me that I'm not alone in this adventure. You are absolutely not alone.
This is literally why I have a business because we're human, right?
(02:18):
And the shit's going to come up. It's not going to be perfect.
It's going to be really messy. And the piece that I love to really help my clients
with is that transition from like, okay, it can be like things can be a a dumpster fire happening?
And how are we going to get you out? And how are we not going to spend days
(02:42):
and weeks of it festering and bugging you?
How can we get you out of that? So that is a huge part of what I do with my
clients because that has everything to do with your brain.
It has everything to do with how you're thinking, how you're showing up.
It's totally normal that things are going to blow up. You're going to want to
(03:02):
murder people along the way.
But how can we get you to that place of like, okay, things are going to happen
and I can stay calm for the most part.
Like I can go through that like craziness and come back to the rational business owner thinking.
Does that make sense? Like we can get you there faster. But I think what you
(03:26):
do is great because sometimes, you know, we all have those days like Stacey's having.
I mean, I had one yesterday where you're just like, you're finding yourself
in this like place. It's just like, you're almost paralyzed because you're just
like, you know, everything's not going the way you want it to go.
And sometimes bringing in someone like yourself to just go, okay,
Hey girl, like let's open this window and look out.
(03:47):
And there's this, we can maybe, you know, make a quick change just to get to the desired results.
So, I mean, I think that part of, you know, coaching and hiring someone to kind
of shift the mindset is so great. How did you get going in this?
That is an excellent question, because for me, I have a degree in mechanical
engineering, which is totally applicable to what I know so much. So right.
(04:13):
But now as you're going through this, though, make sure you talk about now that
I know that you started mechanical engineering.
Make sure you talk about the baby sleep consulting, because that also is not.
I know. I know. I'm sure there's a connection.
We've dabbled in lots of things over here, but it's funny because,
you know, started off in engineering, thought that was the thing that I was
(04:37):
going to stay in and climb the corporate ladder.
And then I had children, three within two years.
And I was like, I know, right, girl, we got twins in there. So,
like, we sped up the process a lot.
But yeah, I guess the realization there came when I'm staring at my babies and
(04:59):
it's like, I want you to do what you love.
Like, I want you to enjoy life and really find your passion.
And I was sitting there going, I'm not doing it. Like, I don't,
I can't teach them how to do it because I wasn't doing it myself.
So that was like the catalyst and how I shifted my thinking from,
I don't know what I'm passionate about into, I'm going to figure it out.
(05:20):
And then once I figure it out, then I'll be able to support them on their journey
to figure it out for themselves. So that was kind of like...
How that whole thing got started. And baby sleep consulting was like the world I was in in that moment.
So that was what opened the door or opened my eyes to like, oh,
I'm doing this for my children.
(05:42):
I'm able to sleep for the most part. Maybe I can help others do this.
And it did not last long at all. I realized that was not the thing that I wanted to do.
But it got me into to that thinking of like, I could make money with my brain.
Like I don't have to be in corporate. I don't have to be supported by somebody
(06:04):
else. Like I could figure out how to do it.
And it really shifted my thinking of like, oh, a job is security to me knowing
how to make money and me knowing how to help people is my security.
And I think that's a huge mental shift I had to make because I didn't know entrepreneurs.
I didn't know business owners as a kid growing up. Like Like that was not a
(06:25):
realm I was introduced to.
So it was really challenging to wrap my brain around it. But here I am,
like full-time business owner.
Exactly. And now I get to, you know, manage my schedule around sick children
and work with the most amazing clients and help them make money and realize
that they are also self-sustaining and can make their family income.
(06:49):
And it's just been like full circle. and I couldn't be happier with where I
am now and all from that one shift of like, okay, I'm gonna figure this out.
I'm like, we're doing this. We're going for it.
That's awesome. And so I do think, you know, it's interesting.
We both have kids. A lot of the people that listen to our conversations have
(07:10):
kids and we do talk to our kids about you can grow up and be anything you wanna
be. You gotta, you know, find your passion.
Like if you love what you're doing, it's not work, blah, blah, blah, all that shit.
And I do think there are a lot of moments where as professional women and mothers,
we do have that imposter syndrome where we're doing what we have to do because
(07:32):
we have kids that we need to, you know, they want to be fed and they want clothes
and they want a bed to sleep in. I don't understand any of it.
And so I think it's interesting that you sort of took that really to heart and
said, I am not doing what I'm passionate about. How can I expect you to grow up and do the same?
(07:52):
Like, that's an interesting twist on how you got to where you are.
So typical clients, you work mostly with women, correct?
So what is your, like, where are the problems they're having?
What does your typical client look like when she's coming to you?
Where is she? Is she broken? Yeah.
So typically, my clients, they want to scale, but they've kind of maxed out on their capacity.
(08:19):
So that could look like if they're the solo business owner, then they're doing
all the things, and maybe they haven't delegated.
They're feeling overwhelmed. They've got all the things going.
They want to make more money, but they have no more time in the day to do that.
And so that's kind of one stereotypical client that I'll work with or other
(08:43):
clients if they're just no longer feeling the passion for what they do anymore.
It's like I used to love it, but now I'm not and I'm debating packing up shop.
But they're like, I don't want to do it, but I feel like this is the only logical next step.
And really, like they hire me when it's like, OK, I need to figure this out.
I want it to be fun again. Again, I want to make more money and we find like
(09:08):
working together, we find a way for them to do that.
That's sustainable, that they can repeat, that they are able to scale like because
that's where they want to go.
They want to have more of the impact that they're having in their work with
more people, with more like people around the world.
So that's really the types of clients that I work with. And I can dive into
(09:31):
like more on that, but that's like top level, the people that I call in usually.
I like that you have an engineering brain, but yet you're doing work that like
so not engineer focused because typically like an engineer person is much more of an introvert.
Like they're not really, they don't really like people.
And here you are, you know, completely the opposite of that.
(09:53):
So you're kind of like a unicorn hybrid. So kudos to you, Karina.
Thank you. One of the things that we have kind of touched on in,
you know, over the last, I mean, 172, now three episodes that we've been recording.
I mean, please, who are we?
I mean, we've been, we've met so many amazing women, but one of the undertow
is that, you know, the execution,
(10:15):
learning tools to, you know, you go through these different courses or you hire
a coach, but then the actual application into your own life is where I think
a lot of people don't follow through with.
So, you know, what are some of those, you know, performance,
you know, measures that you can kind of put in place to really make sure that
people are following through with the work?
(10:37):
Yeah. So that's part of why I love working with my clients one-on-one because
so often we'll buy courses, read books, do whatever, but then not follow through, right?
Like I'm also guilty of this in being like, that was brilliant.
I should do that. And it doesn't actually get done.
So part of why I love working with my clients one-on-one is I'm literally there
(11:01):
to hold them accountable.
And we get on a call once a week to say, okay, where are you at with this? How is this going?
And it's not for me to shame them or be like, oh, you should be doing more.
But if it's a constant, oh, this didn't get done. Oh, this didn't get done.
Then we figure out why it's not getting done. Because chances are,
it's not because you don't have the time in the day.
(11:22):
It's more likely that there's some kind of resistance behind that of,
I feel like an an imposter?
Or what is somebody going to think of me? What if I get it wrong?
It's not perfect. And usually those are the underlying reasons.
So working together one-on-one with a coach allows you to figure that out and
(11:43):
see like, oh, okay, this is actually why I've been procrastinating this thing.
It's not because I don't know. It's not because I'm not good at it,
but there's this this like underlying cause that I didn't even see.
So that's, I mean, that's part of the magic of that one-on-one support,
but also like to do it on your own.
Sometimes we don't recognize what's happening.
(12:04):
And you know, that, that item on the list just keeps getting,
going to the bottom and going to the bottom.
Things like your own self-care might go to the bottom because you don't actually
realize the importance of taking care of yourself in the whole bigger picture.
Right. But then that That is a long story line. Every woman.
(12:25):
Womanhood internationally. I don't care what country, continent, universe you are on.
That is everything right there.
I think that for a lot of us, change is what is hard.
And going outside of our parallel lines that we walk down and maybe stepping
(12:46):
to the other side of that line,
that is i think the hardest point for most
people and also just the initial starting point
of like okay i need help because we as
women stacy what do we say all this time do we ask for help never no okay it's
not part of who we are like we will be dead on like in the gutter before we're
(13:06):
like reaching our arm up like girl lift me up that is who we are as women because
we could do it all But the reality is we can't fucking do it all,
nor should we have to do it all.
And so I think that that undertow of just change being hard,
you know, who moved my cheese?
I like to talk about it all the time because people don't like to have their cheese moved. I don't.
(13:27):
Who likes to have things all chaotic and mixed up? I mean, it's hard. It's hard. Yeah.
Well, I think for where the chair you sit in, I imagine there are no,
there's no playbook here.
There's no cookie cutter solution, right? There's no like, let me turn to page
46 and read you the paragraph that talks about this, right?
(13:48):
Like every, everybody is so different, but you know, you, you call yourself
a recovering perfectionist.
And I think so many of us suffer from that.
And you, you know, you said like, we don't do some of the things we know we
need to do because it's not perfect, like it's never going to be perfect. How do we get past that?
You've obviously, you know, claimed it for yourself. And I love that.
(14:11):
We all want that to not have to be such a perfectionist and not have to have
everything just right to take that next step.
What are ways we can get past those?
Yeah. So how I walk my clients through it is really looking at it from a different perspective.
So if you're stuck and like, oh, okay, I'm trying trying to make this perfect.
(14:31):
Like this should look like this.
Like I mentioned, sometimes it's hard to see it when we're in it.
Just having a conversation with a friend or a coach or having a talking with
somebody about it can kind of help to like have you realize,
oh, maybe I'm just like getting in my own way here, right? Like maybe I'm just keeping myself stuck.
(14:52):
And so what I do with my clients is really walk them through. Okay.
But what is that perfectionism getting you? Like, is it getting you? Nothing but delays.
Well, exactly. Like what is actually happening in the big picture?
If we wait for the next six months, is that going to mean your book is going
to be published or half written?
Or are you just going to be sitting there still researching?
(15:14):
Right? So like, if you can take whatever it is that you're procrastinating right now.
Fast forward and ask yourself, okay, if I try to make this perfect,
if I like continue to like like nitpick and do these little things,
what's six months from now going to look like? What's a year from now going to look like?
And if the answer isn't an overwhelming, oh yeah, of course it'll be done.
(15:36):
It won't because you're like so busy on the back end.
Like, oh, but I need to look at this and I need to check these five other people and what they did.
Like nothing's getting up it. And so it's just kind of deciding that you want something different.
Like this is where it starts, right? Like, okay, I could hold onto this for
(15:57):
the next six months or we could take a guess, see if it works and keep on moving.
And that was literally how I started my business because I was like,
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I don't know. Like, I don't know, but the only way I was going to figure it
out was to take action towards it.
And so that was exactly. And it's something that I feel like doesn't get talked about enough,
(16:20):
enough but you we don't know the answer
we don't know the final outcome all you can do is take
the next step and you're going to figure out like either yes
you're in the right direction or no you're not but at least you
know and you've moved somewhere and now we can course correct and keep going
right rather than like staying where you are and going getting the fucking cheese
(16:42):
is getting moved again here it is you guys yeah we're just gonna pick it up
and launch it right so here's Just a question because, I mean,
I'm in the insurance industry.
Stacey's in the mortgage business. We're here in California.
And let's just be honest, shit's crazy right now, okay? Like,
I don't know if you hear about how crazy it is. It is crazy.
And so you have, like, you know, a lot of people that have maybe been in industries
(17:03):
for years and years and been very successful.
And then all of a sudden, the goalpost is moved and everything is not what it once was.
And so you have, you know, women trying to have to, like, recreate.
I was just having a conversation with a girlfriend who works for State Farm.
And they've yanked out of California and basically shut down a lot of people's businesses.
And here you have a person that's built a business for, you know, 20 years.
(17:25):
And now all of a sudden they have to completely reinvent themselves as a,
you know, 50, this person, particular person's 51 years old.
And so, you know, like how does one like even get in the right mindset of like
you're in mourning because here you are,
but then also like, how do you get excited about having having to recreate and
(17:47):
reinvent at different stages in your lives.
And not just, you know, at age 50, it could be age 20, 30, 40, 60, whatever.
Like what are some tools there? So, yeah.
I would just, I feel like it's so hard when you're in it to be able to like
take that step out and look at things objectively, right?
Because when that just happens, it's kind of like, okay, all hands on deck,
(18:11):
like we're freaking out, which is absolutely normal.
But after you've had your freak out and after you've kind of like given yourself
some time, and I would literally And literally ask yourself how long you want
to stay in that freak out zone,
because it can bleed into months and years. And we don't want that.
(18:33):
Like, yes, totally normal and human to freak out. No problem.
But how long do we want to freak out for?
That's like question number one. And then after that, after you've had that
period of like grieving and mourning of what life was, really asking yourself,
how can this be the best damn thing for me?
How can I leverage this and move forward from here?
(18:59):
And I mean, your person that you're referring to, she's not starting from scratch.
She's got all of those years of experience. She's got all of that knowledge
that she gets to bring with her into this next adventure.
And I feel like you need to just Just remember, it's not like you're,
you know, starting from nothing and I have nothing.
(19:20):
If you've ever watched the, I think it's Undercover Billionaire.
If you haven't watched it, super fun. I haven't watched that. I need to.
I was thoroughly entertained as an entrepreneur myself because they took billionaires
and, or millionaires, billionaires, whatever, and stripped them of everything.
Their name, money, transport, just plopped them in a random city.
(19:42):
And they made a million-dollar business within like three months.
And one, it was frigging impressive. But it stemmed from them taking the knowledge
that they had and figuring out where to go next. So-
Yes, absolutely. It sucks to like have that totally be uprooting your life and
(20:06):
like changing everything, you know, after you freaked out.
Now it's time to problem solve. It's time to say, okay, cool.
We're going to leverage what we have and figure out where do we want to go next?
What do you want to create?
What would be, I kind of find it's the perfect opportunity to say,
what have I always wanted to do, but maybe didn't have a chance to or felt stuck
(20:27):
or I couldn't. And that's like the perfect opportunity to jump.
I feel like though society, I'm not trying to have a cop out here,
but I feel like society does not value experiences, especially from middle-aged and older women.
Like they don't look at our experiences and our knowledge and our skillset and
things we've done in our lives.
(20:49):
And there is not value there in the overall world. world.
So, okay, wait here. Cause there's a difference between, and I know what you're saying.
I know where you're coming from, but the person who's in that situation.
How they view themselves is so wildly important in that.
(21:09):
And what I mean by that is how are they showing up to the table?
Are they like, Oh, please hire me. Or please, you know, like see all the value
that I have, or are they walking in with their head up their shoulders back?
Like this This is why I got you need me.
Exactly. I 100% agree.
I just think that that it is so easy for us to devalue ourselves because of
(21:31):
so many of the external factors that we hear and feel every day that,
you know, I think it takes a very strong person to have,
you know, Wonder Woman's bracelets on and have all those bullets bounce off
when you when you need to have that sort of expectation of your personal value,
but you don't see it being.
(21:52):
Reciprocated on the other side. Yeah. And this is why I think that the coaching
industry is growing so much because people are recognizing, okay,
I don't have this confidence.
I want to, but I don't know how to get there.
Right? There's like that bridge you need to cross and you're kind of like,
I don't know. Someone tell me.
(22:14):
And the coaching industry is growing growing so fast because people are like,
okay, I recognize I need the help.
I recognize that like, I haven't been able to figure this out in the past, you know, 40, 50 years.
Someone helped me borrow. Hiring a tutor, right? And we couldn't figure it out. We hired a tutor.
(22:35):
And I think, you know, for years and years, you always had the idea that you
would have a career and you'd have that job forever and you'd be doing this and it would be amazing.
But the reality of it is, like there's usually about two or three different
eras of, of a, of a human being in the workplace, you know, meaning that you
could have two or three different careers in different capacities.
And that's, you know, that's an okay thing. I think just going back to the conversation
(22:59):
I was having with my girlfriend, you know, I think the part of like,
you know, when you, when you get to be, you know, you're not 20 years old anymore.
So you're, you're a little bit more established and then you've also got so
many more responsibilities that go along with it. So it's not like you can,
it's just kind of like a, oh, whatever, you know, this particular person has
a young son and she's trying to figure it out.
(23:20):
And it was just kind of like, fuck, you know, it's a conversation to have with her.
And I, you know, and I was trying to say the same thing, like,
listen, you know, you may need to shift around and do some different things,
but, you know, it's really hard.
And I think it's really hard when that, that decision has been made for you.
It's not one that you get to make yourself.
Maybe that's what I'm trying to get at. And so I love the angle that you're
(23:43):
having to really, you know, kind of build that confidence within to then allow
you to walk into that room feeling confident because,
you know, it sucks to have to be in a situation that you didn't think you were
going to be in. But that is life, unfortunately.
Well, I mean, that's like life 101, right? Like we're always going to end up
in situations where you're like, oh, how did this happen?
(24:04):
How did this happen? But the important part is what are you going to do from here?
How are you going to show up to it, right? Like we can't, we can't,
or well, you don't want to try to fathom the millions of shitty outcomes that could happen.
But when you're in it, then it's like, okay, how are we going to problem solve for this?
Like once you're done, once you're done, you freak out. How are we going to problem solve for this?
(24:26):
And, you know, that's where calling a friend, calling a coach,
like really getting your head in a space of like, where are we going from here?
How could this be the best thing for me?
And not like, oh, woe is me. What am I going to do?
And then sitting in that. We all want a woe is me moment. We need a woe is me
moment. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
(24:48):
You've traveled 25-ish countries around the world, businesswomen around the
world having any different issues than we are here in North America.
Is this a theme worldwide?
So in the type of work that I do with my clients, it's a human thing.
So the confidence that we all can build up, the perfectionism,
(25:14):
the imposter syndrome, this is not specific to North America or anywhere.
This is like a human thing, right? Right. So I would say we are all the same.
We all have our separate cultures and views.
But when we boil it down, we're all human. We all have the insecurities and
all the things that come with being human.
(25:35):
And for me, the part that I love to focus on is what do you actually want?
And let's help you get there. Well, I think that's such an easy question because
we don't even really think about what the fuck it is we want.
I mean, you say about what it is I want. You say it's an easy question, but it's really not.
There's so many people that are like, no one's asked me that. Or you don't even know.
(26:00):
You don't even know what you want. And, you know, a lot of women when their
kids, you know, grow up and they're out.
And then remember when Stacey had her last going to college,
she goes, I don't even know what I, you know, people say you have all this free
time and you, I don't even know what that means.
Because we do all these things all the time for everybody else but ourselves.
(26:23):
Hiring a coach, though, I feel like for a lot of people, A, women don't like
to invest in themselves.
That's number one. I feel like we need to change this culture because investing
in a university degree is just like, of course you should.
Right. Nowadays, everybody's like, okay, so I spent all this money on university
and I'm not going to do that degree. Right.
Fuck. I mean, it's so normalized.
(26:45):
But then when it comes to investing in yourself of like, this is going to help
me, society hasn't seen the value in that yet, or at least not collectively in society.
And I want to see that change because I've seen it in my clients firsthand of
when they invest in themselves, not only do they take better care of themselves,
(27:06):
but they're able to grow their business.
They're able to grow their impact. They're able to to better support,
have more access to resources, be able, like, there's just so many benefits,
but it starts with you taking care of yourself first.
Really baseline, you take nothing else away from this conversation.
You need to invest in yourself and take care of yourself first.
(27:27):
Figure out what the hell you want to do. What brings you joy?
I mean, it's such a basic question, but yeah, absolutely. I feel like it's such
a basic question, but it's such a hard question at the same time.
And I think that, you know, You being able to provide the space to help women
find that place is pretty incredible.
You are hailing from up north in Canada, but internationally,
(27:49):
we can say women everywhere are having the same struggles and issues.
So we want to say thank you, Karina. We will post your website,
your links, where people can find you and learn a little bit more.
We hope that everybody gets out there this week and is inspired.
Hello, and welcome to Inspired, your grown-up girl talk.
I'm Stacey Fleece, and once again, I'm with Samantha Tredelius. Samantha, how are you?
God, it's like you can't get rid of me, but would you ever really want to get rid of me? I don't know.
No, but as I was telling you, I'm on the warpath today.
Yes. There's something in the air. This is not a good workday.
(00:22):
I want to kill multiple people.
Really good. Totally fine. And, you know, it's days, there are days where I
fall out of love with my business. And today is a day.
And I always hope that, that we kiss and make up later. And so far, it's worked out.
But sometimes I think, you know, all of us professional working women have those
(00:46):
moments where we're like, what the fuck am I doing?
And why am I doing it? And how can I be more effective?
Perspective when this leads us into our guest today right this is where karina
groombridge comes into play karina thank you for being here i need this today
probably more than ever so,
i'm just gonna i'm gonna take it all in but you are let's say officially you
(01:09):
are a certified business and mindset coach for women looking to scale their
business but it also feels like maybe Maybe looking to scale their lives and
merging the two together in a harmonious place,
which I do not have right now, clearly.
I like to refer to it as sustainable because growth without it being sustainable
(01:32):
and like, you know, not wanting to kill somebody every week, every day.
Like we want to make it sustainable and something that you can enjoy and show
up to. And yeah, well, I really think there's a lot, especially women who like
us, who are responsible for building our own book of business,
even though we may not be fully self-employed.
Some are some just, you know, we own our business every day is a new game of
(01:58):
whack-a-mole and it's not effective and it's not productive and we can't we
can't get to that next level.
Please tell me that I'm not alone in this adventure. You are absolutely not alone.
This is literally why I have a business because we're human, right?
(02:18):
And the shit's going to come up. It's not going to be perfect.
It's going to be really messy. And the piece that I love to really help my clients
with is that transition from like, okay, it can be like things can be a a dumpster fire happening?
And how are we going to get you out? And how are we not going to spend days
(02:42):
and weeks of it festering and bugging you?
How can we get you out of that? So that is a huge part of what I do with my
clients because that has everything to do with your brain.
It has everything to do with how you're thinking, how you're showing up.
It's totally normal that things are going to blow up. You're going to want to
(03:02):
murder people along the way.
But how can we get you to that place of like, okay, things are going to happen
and I can stay calm for the most part.
Like I can go through that like craziness and come back to the rational business owner thinking.
Does that make sense? Like we can get you there faster. But I think what you
(03:26):
do is great because sometimes, you know, we all have those days like Stacey's having.
I mean, I had one yesterday where you're just like, you're finding yourself
in this like place. It's just like, you're almost paralyzed because you're just
like, you know, everything's not going the way you want it to go.
And sometimes bringing in someone like yourself to just go, okay,
Hey girl, like let's open this window and look out.
(03:47):
And there's this, we can maybe, you know, make a quick change just to get to the desired results.
So, I mean, I think that part of, you know, coaching and hiring someone to kind
of shift the mindset is so great. How did you get going in this?
That is an excellent question, because for me, I have a degree in mechanical
engineering, which is totally applicable to what I know so much. So right.
(04:13):
But now as you're going through this, though, make sure you talk about now that
I know that you started mechanical engineering.
Make sure you talk about the baby sleep consulting, because that also is not.
I know. I know. I'm sure there's a connection.
We've dabbled in lots of things over here, but it's funny because,
you know, started off in engineering, thought that was the thing that I was
(04:37):
going to stay in and climb the corporate ladder.
And then I had children, three within two years.
And I was like, I know, right, girl, we got twins in there. So,
like, we sped up the process a lot.
But yeah, I guess the realization there came when I'm staring at my babies and
(04:59):
it's like, I want you to do what you love.
Like, I want you to enjoy life and really find your passion.
And I was sitting there going, I'm not doing it. Like, I don't,
I can't teach them how to do it because I wasn't doing it myself.
So that was like the catalyst and how I shifted my thinking from,
I don't know what I'm passionate about into, I'm going to figure it out.
(05:20):
And then once I figure it out, then I'll be able to support them on their journey
to figure it out for themselves. So that was kind of like...
How that whole thing got started. And baby sleep consulting was like the world I was in in that moment.
So that was what opened the door or opened my eyes to like, oh,
I'm doing this for my children.
(05:42):
I'm able to sleep for the most part. Maybe I can help others do this.
And it did not last long at all. I realized that was not the thing that I wanted to do.
But it got me into to that thinking of like, I could make money with my brain.
Like I don't have to be in corporate. I don't have to be supported by somebody
(06:04):
else. Like I could figure out how to do it.
And it really shifted my thinking of like, oh, a job is security to me knowing
how to make money and me knowing how to help people is my security.
And I think that's a huge mental shift I had to make because I didn't know entrepreneurs.
I didn't know business owners as a kid growing up. Like Like that was not a
(06:25):
realm I was introduced to.
So it was really challenging to wrap my brain around it. But here I am,
like full-time business owner.
Exactly. And now I get to, you know, manage my schedule around sick children
and work with the most amazing clients and help them make money and realize
that they are also self-sustaining and can make their family income.
(06:49):
And it's just been like full circle. and I couldn't be happier with where I
am now and all from that one shift of like, okay, I'm gonna figure this out.
I'm like, we're doing this. We're going for it.
That's awesome. And so I do think, you know, it's interesting.
We both have kids. A lot of the people that listen to our conversations have
(07:10):
kids and we do talk to our kids about you can grow up and be anything you wanna
be. You gotta, you know, find your passion.
Like if you love what you're doing, it's not work, blah, blah, blah, all that shit.
And I do think there are a lot of moments where as professional women and mothers,
we do have that imposter syndrome where we're doing what we have to do because
(07:32):
we have kids that we need to, you know, they want to be fed and they want clothes
and they want a bed to sleep in. I don't understand any of it.
And so I think it's interesting that you sort of took that really to heart and
said, I am not doing what I'm passionate about. How can I expect you to grow up and do the same?
(07:52):
Like, that's an interesting twist on how you got to where you are.
So typical clients, you work mostly with women, correct?
So what is your, like, where are the problems they're having?
What does your typical client look like when she's coming to you?
Where is she? Is she broken? Yeah.
So typically, my clients, they want to scale, but they've kind of maxed out on their capacity.
(08:19):
So that could look like if they're the solo business owner, then they're doing
all the things, and maybe they haven't delegated.
They're feeling overwhelmed. They've got all the things going.
They want to make more money, but they have no more time in the day to do that.
And so that's kind of one stereotypical client that I'll work with or other
(08:43):
clients if they're just no longer feeling the passion for what they do anymore.
It's like I used to love it, but now I'm not and I'm debating packing up shop.
But they're like, I don't want to do it, but I feel like this is the only logical next step.
And really, like they hire me when it's like, OK, I need to figure this out.
I want it to be fun again. Again, I want to make more money and we find like
(09:08):
working together, we find a way for them to do that.
That's sustainable, that they can repeat, that they are able to scale like because
that's where they want to go.
They want to have more of the impact that they're having in their work with
more people, with more like people around the world.
So that's really the types of clients that I work with. And I can dive into
(09:31):
like more on that, but that's like top level, the people that I call in usually.
I like that you have an engineering brain, but yet you're doing work that like
so not engineer focused because typically like an engineer person is much more of an introvert.
Like they're not really, they don't really like people.
And here you are, you know, completely the opposite of that.
(09:53):
So you're kind of like a unicorn hybrid. So kudos to you, Karina.
Thank you. One of the things that we have kind of touched on in,
you know, over the last, I mean, 172, now three episodes that we've been recording.
I mean, please, who are we?
I mean, we've been, we've met so many amazing women, but one of the undertow
is that, you know, the execution,
(10:15):
learning tools to, you know, you go through these different courses or you hire
a coach, but then the actual application into your own life is where I think
a lot of people don't follow through with.
So, you know, what are some of those, you know, performance,
you know, measures that you can kind of put in place to really make sure that
people are following through with the work?
(10:37):
Yeah. So that's part of why I love working with my clients one-on-one because
so often we'll buy courses, read books, do whatever, but then not follow through, right?
Like I'm also guilty of this in being like, that was brilliant.
I should do that. And it doesn't actually get done.
So part of why I love working with my clients one-on-one is I'm literally there
(11:01):
to hold them accountable.
And we get on a call once a week to say, okay, where are you at with this? How is this going?
And it's not for me to shame them or be like, oh, you should be doing more.
But if it's a constant, oh, this didn't get done. Oh, this didn't get done.
Then we figure out why it's not getting done. Because chances are,
it's not because you don't have the time in the day.
(11:22):
It's more likely that there's some kind of resistance behind that of,
I feel like an an imposter?
Or what is somebody going to think of me? What if I get it wrong?
It's not perfect. And usually those are the underlying reasons.
So working together one-on-one with a coach allows you to figure that out and
(11:43):
see like, oh, okay, this is actually why I've been procrastinating this thing.
It's not because I don't know. It's not because I'm not good at it,
but there's this this like underlying cause that I didn't even see.
So that's, I mean, that's part of the magic of that one-on-one support,
but also like to do it on your own.
Sometimes we don't recognize what's happening.
(12:04):
And you know, that, that item on the list just keeps getting,
going to the bottom and going to the bottom.
Things like your own self-care might go to the bottom because you don't actually
realize the importance of taking care of yourself in the whole bigger picture.
Right. But then that That is a long story line. Every woman.
(12:25):
Womanhood internationally. I don't care what country, continent, universe you are on.
That is everything right there.
I think that for a lot of us, change is what is hard.
And going outside of our parallel lines that we walk down and maybe stepping
(12:46):
to the other side of that line,
that is i think the hardest point for most
people and also just the initial starting point
of like okay i need help because we as
women stacy what do we say all this time do we ask for help never no okay it's
not part of who we are like we will be dead on like in the gutter before we're
(13:06):
like reaching our arm up like girl lift me up that is who we are as women because
we could do it all But the reality is we can't fucking do it all,
nor should we have to do it all.
And so I think that that undertow of just change being hard,
you know, who moved my cheese?
I like to talk about it all the time because people don't like to have their cheese moved. I don't.
(13:27):
Who likes to have things all chaotic and mixed up? I mean, it's hard. It's hard. Yeah.
Well, I think for where the chair you sit in, I imagine there are no,
there's no playbook here.
There's no cookie cutter solution, right? There's no like, let me turn to page
46 and read you the paragraph that talks about this, right?
(13:48):
Like every, everybody is so different, but you know, you, you call yourself
a recovering perfectionist.
And I think so many of us suffer from that.
And you, you know, you said like, we don't do some of the things we know we
need to do because it's not perfect, like it's never going to be perfect. How do we get past that?
You've obviously, you know, claimed it for yourself. And I love that.
(14:11):
We all want that to not have to be such a perfectionist and not have to have
everything just right to take that next step.
What are ways we can get past those?
Yeah. So how I walk my clients through it is really looking at it from a different perspective.
So if you're stuck and like, oh, okay, I'm trying trying to make this perfect.
(14:31):
Like this should look like this.
Like I mentioned, sometimes it's hard to see it when we're in it.
Just having a conversation with a friend or a coach or having a talking with
somebody about it can kind of help to like have you realize,
oh, maybe I'm just like getting in my own way here, right? Like maybe I'm just keeping myself stuck.
(14:52):
And so what I do with my clients is really walk them through. Okay.
But what is that perfectionism getting you? Like, is it getting you? Nothing but delays.
Well, exactly. Like what is actually happening in the big picture?
If we wait for the next six months, is that going to mean your book is going
to be published or half written?
Or are you just going to be sitting there still researching?
(15:14):
Right? So like, if you can take whatever it is that you're procrastinating right now.
Fast forward and ask yourself, okay, if I try to make this perfect,
if I like continue to like like nitpick and do these little things,
what's six months from now going to look like? What's a year from now going to look like?
And if the answer isn't an overwhelming, oh yeah, of course it'll be done.
(15:36):
It won't because you're like so busy on the back end.
Like, oh, but I need to look at this and I need to check these five other people and what they did.
Like nothing's getting up it. And so it's just kind of deciding that you want something different.
Like this is where it starts, right? Like, okay, I could hold onto this for
(15:57):
the next six months or we could take a guess, see if it works and keep on moving.
And that was literally how I started my business because I was like,
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I don't know. Like, I don't know, but the only way I was going to figure it
out was to take action towards it.
And so that was exactly. And it's something that I feel like doesn't get talked about enough,
(16:20):
enough but you we don't know the answer
we don't know the final outcome all you can do is take
the next step and you're going to figure out like either yes
you're in the right direction or no you're not but at least you
know and you've moved somewhere and now we can course correct and keep going
right rather than like staying where you are and going getting the fucking cheese
(16:42):
is getting moved again here it is you guys yeah we're just gonna pick it up
and launch it right so here's Just a question because, I mean,
I'm in the insurance industry.
Stacey's in the mortgage business. We're here in California.
And let's just be honest, shit's crazy right now, okay? Like,
I don't know if you hear about how crazy it is. It is crazy.
And so you have, like, you know, a lot of people that have maybe been in industries
(17:03):
for years and years and been very successful.
And then all of a sudden, the goalpost is moved and everything is not what it once was.
And so you have, you know, women trying to have to, like, recreate.
I was just having a conversation with a girlfriend who works for State Farm.
And they've yanked out of California and basically shut down a lot of people's businesses.
And here you have a person that's built a business for, you know, 20 years.
(17:25):
And now all of a sudden they have to completely reinvent themselves as a,
you know, 50, this person, particular person's 51 years old.
And so, you know, like how does one like even get in the right mindset of like
you're in mourning because here you are,
but then also like, how do you get excited about having having to recreate and
(17:47):
reinvent at different stages in your lives.
And not just, you know, at age 50, it could be age 20, 30, 40, 60, whatever.
Like what are some tools there? So, yeah.
I would just, I feel like it's so hard when you're in it to be able to like
take that step out and look at things objectively, right?
Because when that just happens, it's kind of like, okay, all hands on deck,
(18:11):
like we're freaking out, which is absolutely normal.
But after you've had your freak out and after you've kind of like given yourself
some time, and I would literally And literally ask yourself how long you want
to stay in that freak out zone,
because it can bleed into months and years. And we don't want that.
(18:33):
Like, yes, totally normal and human to freak out. No problem.
But how long do we want to freak out for?
That's like question number one. And then after that, after you've had that
period of like grieving and mourning of what life was, really asking yourself,
how can this be the best damn thing for me?
How can I leverage this and move forward from here?
(18:59):
And I mean, your person that you're referring to, she's not starting from scratch.
She's got all of those years of experience. She's got all of that knowledge
that she gets to bring with her into this next adventure.
And I feel like you need to just Just remember, it's not like you're,
you know, starting from nothing and I have nothing.
(19:20):
If you've ever watched the, I think it's Undercover Billionaire.
If you haven't watched it, super fun. I haven't watched that. I need to.
I was thoroughly entertained as an entrepreneur myself because they took billionaires
and, or millionaires, billionaires, whatever, and stripped them of everything.
Their name, money, transport, just plopped them in a random city.
(19:42):
And they made a million-dollar business within like three months.
And one, it was frigging impressive. But it stemmed from them taking the knowledge
that they had and figuring out where to go next. So-
Yes, absolutely. It sucks to like have that totally be uprooting your life and
(20:06):
like changing everything, you know, after you freaked out.
Now it's time to problem solve. It's time to say, okay, cool.
We're going to leverage what we have and figure out where do we want to go next?
What do you want to create?
What would be, I kind of find it's the perfect opportunity to say,
what have I always wanted to do, but maybe didn't have a chance to or felt stuck
(20:27):
or I couldn't. And that's like the perfect opportunity to jump.
I feel like though society, I'm not trying to have a cop out here,
but I feel like society does not value experiences, especially from middle-aged and older women.
Like they don't look at our experiences and our knowledge and our skillset and
things we've done in our lives.
(20:49):
And there is not value there in the overall world. world.
So, okay, wait here. Cause there's a difference between, and I know what you're saying.
I know where you're coming from, but the person who's in that situation.
How they view themselves is so wildly important in that.
(21:09):
And what I mean by that is how are they showing up to the table?
Are they like, Oh, please hire me. Or please, you know, like see all the value
that I have, or are they walking in with their head up their shoulders back?
Like this This is why I got you need me.
Exactly. I 100% agree.
I just think that that it is so easy for us to devalue ourselves because of
(21:31):
so many of the external factors that we hear and feel every day that,
you know, I think it takes a very strong person to have,
you know, Wonder Woman's bracelets on and have all those bullets bounce off
when you when you need to have that sort of expectation of your personal value,
but you don't see it being.
(21:52):
Reciprocated on the other side. Yeah. And this is why I think that the coaching
industry is growing so much because people are recognizing, okay,
I don't have this confidence.
I want to, but I don't know how to get there.
Right? There's like that bridge you need to cross and you're kind of like,
I don't know. Someone tell me.
(22:14):
And the coaching industry is growing growing so fast because people are like,
okay, I recognize I need the help.
I recognize that like, I haven't been able to figure this out in the past, you know, 40, 50 years.
Someone helped me borrow. Hiring a tutor, right? And we couldn't figure it out. We hired a tutor.
(22:35):
And I think, you know, for years and years, you always had the idea that you
would have a career and you'd have that job forever and you'd be doing this and it would be amazing.
But the reality of it is, like there's usually about two or three different
eras of, of a, of a human being in the workplace, you know, meaning that you
could have two or three different careers in different capacities.
And that's, you know, that's an okay thing. I think just going back to the conversation
(22:59):
I was having with my girlfriend, you know, I think the part of like,
you know, when you, when you get to be, you know, you're not 20 years old anymore.
So you're, you're a little bit more established and then you've also got so
many more responsibilities that go along with it. So it's not like you can,
it's just kind of like a, oh, whatever, you know, this particular person has
a young son and she's trying to figure it out.
(23:20):
And it was just kind of like, fuck, you know, it's a conversation to have with her.
And I, you know, and I was trying to say the same thing, like,
listen, you know, you may need to shift around and do some different things,
but, you know, it's really hard.
And I think it's really hard when that, that decision has been made for you.
It's not one that you get to make yourself.
Maybe that's what I'm trying to get at. And so I love the angle that you're
(23:43):
having to really, you know, kind of build that confidence within to then allow
you to walk into that room feeling confident because,
you know, it sucks to have to be in a situation that you didn't think you were
going to be in. But that is life, unfortunately.
Well, I mean, that's like life 101, right? Like we're always going to end up
in situations where you're like, oh, how did this happen?
(24:04):
How did this happen? But the important part is what are you going to do from here?
How are you going to show up to it, right? Like we can't, we can't,
or well, you don't want to try to fathom the millions of shitty outcomes that could happen.
But when you're in it, then it's like, okay, how are we going to problem solve for this?
Like once you're done, once you're done, you freak out. How are we going to problem solve for this?
(24:26):
And, you know, that's where calling a friend, calling a coach,
like really getting your head in a space of like, where are we going from here?
How could this be the best thing for me?
And not like, oh, woe is me. What am I going to do?
And then sitting in that. We all want a woe is me moment. We need a woe is me
moment. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
(24:48):
You've traveled 25-ish countries around the world, businesswomen around the
world having any different issues than we are here in North America.
Is this a theme worldwide?
So in the type of work that I do with my clients, it's a human thing.
So the confidence that we all can build up, the perfectionism,
(25:14):
the imposter syndrome, this is not specific to North America or anywhere.
This is like a human thing, right? Right. So I would say we are all the same.
We all have our separate cultures and views.
But when we boil it down, we're all human. We all have the insecurities and
all the things that come with being human.
(25:35):
And for me, the part that I love to focus on is what do you actually want?
And let's help you get there. Well, I think that's such an easy question because
we don't even really think about what the fuck it is we want.
I mean, you say about what it is I want. You say it's an easy question, but it's really not.
There's so many people that are like, no one's asked me that. Or you don't even know.
(26:00):
You don't even know what you want. And, you know, a lot of women when their
kids, you know, grow up and they're out.
And then remember when Stacey had her last going to college,
she goes, I don't even know what I, you know, people say you have all this free
time and you, I don't even know what that means.
Because we do all these things all the time for everybody else but ourselves.
(26:23):
Hiring a coach, though, I feel like for a lot of people, A, women don't like
to invest in themselves.
That's number one. I feel like we need to change this culture because investing
in a university degree is just like, of course you should.
Right. Nowadays, everybody's like, okay, so I spent all this money on university
and I'm not going to do that degree. Right.
Fuck. I mean, it's so normalized.
(26:45):
But then when it comes to investing in yourself of like, this is going to help
me, society hasn't seen the value in that yet, or at least not collectively in society.
And I want to see that change because I've seen it in my clients firsthand of
when they invest in themselves, not only do they take better care of themselves,
(27:06):
but they're able to grow their business.
They're able to grow their impact. They're able to to better support,
have more access to resources, be able, like, there's just so many benefits,
but it starts with you taking care of yourself first.
Really baseline, you take nothing else away from this conversation.
You need to invest in yourself and take care of yourself first.
(27:27):
Figure out what the hell you want to do. What brings you joy?
I mean, it's such a basic question, but yeah, absolutely. I feel like it's such
a basic question, but it's such a hard question at the same time.
And I think that, you know, You being able to provide the space to help women
find that place is pretty incredible.
You are hailing from up north in Canada, but internationally,
(27:49):
we can say women everywhere are having the same struggles and issues.
So we want to say thank you, Karina. We will post your website,
your links, where people can find you and learn a little bit more.
We hope that everybody gets out there this week and is inspired.
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