May 20, 2024 • 27 mins
Welcome to another episode of InspiHER'd, your hub for insightful girl talk and growth. Join your hosts, Stacey Fleece and Samantha Tradelius, as they dive deep into a pivotal discussion on effective time management and the vital role one’s energy plays in maximizing productivity. In this episode, they are joined by a special guest, Jennifer Soenen - a successful time management and productivity coach. Hear her story from humble farm beginnings to becoming a renowned coach in the field.
Get introduced to the revolutionary 'Energy Mapping' concept by Jennifer. Learn how to harness your peak performance hours, manage your energy levels, streamline your work, and maximize your productivity. The trio discusses the unique challenge women face with time management due to various roles they play, offering insight into setting realistic expectations to enhance productivity.
Jennifer’s personal story of overcoming people-pleasing tendencies, confronting individual challenges, and managing to strike a balance between personal and professional life offers an inspirational view. Her practical tools like the 'energy mapping assessment' and 'Power list' provide essential solutions to time management issues. Understand how these tools aid in identifying peak performance hours and managing unexpected challenges efficiently.
This episode features a meaningful discussion on societal influences and gender norms around time management, shedding light on the differing approaches between genders. Jennifer wraps up the episode with her unique client engagement strategies, including one-to-one consultations and group workshops.
Perfect for entrepreneurs, business owners, and those seeking to enhance their time management capabilities, this episode shares insightful perspectives. Understand how small, daily habit tweaks and a deep understanding of your energy pattern can bring about significant positive changes. Tune into this episode for a refreshing perspective on time management, work-life balance, and the path towards an empowered life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, and welcome to Inspired, your grown-up girl talk.
I'm Stacey Flings with co-host Samantha Tredelius on another Monday.
Monday, that's a Tuesday. Well, it's actually Tuesday, but it feels like- I
know, but we'll be posting this on a Monday, so we're going to say happy Monday
to anyone who's listening.
Yeah, we're recording on a Tuesday. It's a beautiful day. It's a great day with
(00:23):
a great topic to jump into because I think it's one of those things we all could
really figure out how to be better at.
I don't know anyone who doesn't say that they could have better time management.
In fact, okay, truth be told, I was watching Family Feud last night while I
was waiting for the voice to start.
And one of the questions on the speed round thing, where they do at the end,
(00:47):
was name something that people waste.
And the guy who was doing it said time, and it actually didn't get great responses,
which I was a little disappointed about because I I thought it was a brilliant answer.
And I thought anyone who answered that could for sure talk to Jennifer,
our guest today, because I think she could help them.
(01:08):
All of us. Yeah. Yeah. So Jennifer Stonin, thank you for being here with us today.
Jennifer Stonin of Stonin Strategies, you are a time and productivity coach,
which I got to be honest with you, like I didn't know existed beyond a planner
that I could buy at my local Staples,
(01:29):
but having somebody to help hold
us accountable and teach us the tips and tricks to not only time manage,
but as you say, bring joy into your life and more effective time management.
So we always like to start kind of backing up a little bit and tell us sort
of how you got into this line of work.
(01:49):
I mean, you grew up on a farm, so we've gone from farm.
Coaching. And I feel like there's probably, I don't know, a handful of things
in between that maybe. Yeah.
Yeah. And, and thank you so much for having me on and you're right.
Like, I mean, it's definitely a niche.
I started out doing more like big general coaching and just really Really for
(02:14):
who I am and a lot of the people that I attract as well for clients,
it's like kind of not get in and get out kind of thing with,
but time management, I love it because it's, you can't argue with it.
We all have the 24 hours, right?
So that's really kind of how over the years.
(02:36):
That it's really developed. And I've really niche into that,
because no one can argue with me that I'm being any, anything,
but like, we have 24 hours.
So that's a great equalizer, right? Exactly.
And it is the most precious non renewable resource that we have.
So I feel like that's that has a big impact.
(02:57):
And me being a business person, I just like efficiency, right?
Like, so if we can and use our resources to the utmost, that's fantastic. And it's effective.
If we know how to manage and create that productivity, that's the best thing, right?
So that's kind of why I really, I love time.
(03:18):
I really do. And so funny here. I'll get into my story. I have my little timer here.
Love that timer. This is a half
an hour one. So I use time cubes and everything, but it's a great visual.
And you guys can't see it, but it's a, it's a, the hourglass is with sand,
a 30 minute version in a beautiful blue, actually. I love that.
(03:44):
For the visual friends, which is some of us tend to, to tend to absorb and learn
a little bit, I think as women,
we don't necessarily have the best concepts with managing our time,
mainly because our time is being, you know, divided amongst, you know, mom us,
woman us, business us, you know, friend us, all the different us's.
(04:06):
And, you know, I always like to kind of put it into buckets,
you know, and those different buckets look different every single day for every single one of us.
But I do feel like women, we have this sense of failure when we don't,
you know, complete the tasks or the things that are on our docket for the day.
And, you know, what it really does boil down to is how you manage your days.
(04:26):
And knowing that it, I think in a lot of the work you do, it doesn't always
have to be the same structure every single day, right?
Exactly. And that's really true. And I really like how you just said that, right?
Like there's so many different parts of us and we are very much...
What's the word? Well, trained. I'm going to just say that we're,
you know, whether it's generational trained that as women, we say yes, yes, yes, yes.
(04:50):
And it just keeps adding and adding and we don't really stop and analyze,
okay, well, actually, how much time does this task really take me?
And with a lot of my clients and myself, too, that's where I where I started
was with myself, I started to time, okay, I have all these to do lists and started
(05:11):
timing, okay, okay, how much time does this actually take?
And then I realized like, holy shit, I literally do not have the physical time.
And that really made a big, big difference.
And even I'm a one goal kind of gal, one or two at the max, because really by
(05:31):
the time we take up a lot of our day, and like you said, it kind of varies.
We only have one or two hours to kind of work on our goals. But yeah,
and again, with the schedule, I definitely, I have my son, we share custody with my ex-husband.
So I, for the longest time, work on a two-week rotating cycle,
(05:53):
you know, so. So, okay, that, that kind of sucks when you put it in perspective
that we only have one or two hours a day to work on goals.
Like somehow in my head, I thought I had more, but you're probably right.
Okay. So how do we, how do we stop playing this game of whack-a-mole every day?
Because I feel like every morning we wake up and you have a,
(06:17):
like your to-do list or you have time blocking or whatever it is that you get,
your planner from Staples, whatever it is you use to organize,
it seems like every day, you know, by halfway through, you're fully into whack-a-mole
and you're just firefighting and dealing with what's coming at you instead of
what you should be doing.
So how do we change that narrative in our brains?
(06:40):
Well, I just really, I encourage people definitely to do an assessment before
we, you know, try and change a bunch of stuff, kind of really get an idea of where you're at.
So whether it be, you know, tracking your time, but I just, I just developed
and came out with like a different way to do energy mapping,
(07:01):
because really, it depends for me on my energy level,
like I might have time at nine o'clock at night. And I might have time at nine
o'clock at night, but I might have time at nine o'clock at
is my energy there? And then how can I structure that?
So a lot of times it begins with an evaluation of, okay, where am I at right now?
What's my energy level at? And then I really help people and map out where's
(07:23):
their peak performance so that they can, you know, really highlight those,
that era, like that time to really maximize on there.
So a lot of it begins with an assessment of where you are, and then,
you know, kind of what your values are and what you're going to go after.
And when I said that two hours of, you know, working on your goal,
(07:43):
that's like kind of above and beyond if you're working at a goal outside of
your job or your business. Okay, I'm a little less sad.
I saw an interview with Jeff Bezos, and he was talking about how he doesn't
set meetings before 10 o'clock in the morning because he likes to,
as he puts it, putter in the morning, have time with his kids, whatever.
(08:04):
But then his max hard stuff that he does, he'll do between 10 and noon because
he knows that that's the best time to make the big decisions.
And then if you come at him at 5 o'clock in the afternoon with a big decision,
he's going to tell you, we need to do this between 10 and 12 tomorrow because I'm not at a place.
And I think it's cool to really hone in and figure that out about yourself.
(08:25):
And I don't think many of us even really think about ourselves and our brain
space in that way to make the powerful decisions.
Because like Stacey said, we're firefighting, you know, and then you have a
kid that gets sick or you have something that falls on your desk and it's just
like the steaming pile of shit that you got to deal with.
And you're like, okay, well, you know, whatever I thought I was going to do
(08:45):
today, it's not going to happen.
And so I really love that mindset shift of really just understanding where your
energies are best and then kind of building around that. And I think that's like right there.
I mean, we could just stop the interview right there. I think that's all we needed to know.
Yeah and problems exactly and
so that's where the energy mapping that
(09:06):
i do and i work with people it's it's cognition
it's mindset and your body you
know this one client that i was doing the energy mapping with she was like oh
i'm so disappointed i'm not 100 all the time and i'm like no one is and we can't
be and we don't want to be because there are different times for like like you
(09:28):
were mentioning about the energy,
you know, Jeff Bezos, noon to 10 to noon,
it really does make a difference because when I'm at like 50 and 75%,
that actually is super creative sometimes when I'm with people because that's
when the brainstorming, and we know that.
I always compare it to, you know, after you've had like one glass of wine or
(09:50):
two glasses of wine, great ideas come out.
Oh my God, the most brilliant idea came out after like a bottle. The best.
(10:27):
Give the best while your best is between 10 and 12. So you'll try and, you know,
capture that. And, you know, even for this interview, I restructured my day
because I wanted to make sure that I had my energy on.
And so, you know, you can do that. It doesn't mean that every single day you're going to do that.
(10:47):
But, you know, when things come up as fantastic as this, that I want to be here
and I want to be energized.
So I never really thought about that because I tend to set meetings or appointments
like you just open up the calendar and you look Look at what's free rather than
really thinking about sort of what you already have scheduled in that day or
what what time of the day in terms of the life cycle of the day you're hitting.
(11:11):
So interesting, interesting points. Now, you you develop this this coaching
technique in your business really from personal experiences, right?
Grew out of your own personal experiences.
So tell us a little bit about sort of what got you there, what what you were
going through. because I'll bet a lot of us are feeling the same.
And then sort of what realization you came to where you're like,
(11:34):
shit, this, this is a thing and people need this.
Yeah. And I mean, really, like a lot of things, even as you were said,
I never really kind of told my background.
I grew up in a farming community in Southern Ontario and Canada.
And, you know, really close with all my family and everything.
(11:54):
And my grandfather, I know you You have a nonprofit organization,
the Sparkle organization, which I love that because my grandfather just always
had the sparkle in his eye.
And I would always be like, you know, a young kid, I'm like,
Grandpa, oh my gosh, we have to irrigate.
And like, we could see the rain coming and hit one of our fields and not all the other fields.
(12:18):
And he's like, Jen, the rain's got to start and stop somewhere.
It's time to irrigate. That's it, right? Right. So growing up,
we just with our time management, it was kind of like, OK, this is what needs
to be done because the weather's dictated.
But as I grew throughout my years and had different experiences,
(12:39):
I really like a changing moment was definitely more in like 2007.
After I've kind of moved different places and everything, I had a really great
career. I was married, I'm formally teacher trained, and outside it looked like I had everything.
(13:00):
Inside, I just felt like I was missing something. I was never good enough.
And on paper, it was fantastic, right? And so...
I just was like, there has to be something more and maybe not something more
or maybe something that I lost along the way.
(13:21):
Cause I never really felt that when I left the farm at, after I was done university.
So like 21, 22, but throughout my late twenties, mid thirties, I definitely felt that.
And it was just like, holy shit, like something's going wrong.
And I definitely was a people
(13:42):
pleaser because that's kind of how I
was trained and but it was
received much differently when I was younger because I
was pleasing my family and they were all happy and we all worked
together on the farm right whereas in in
real life when you're working for other people if you
give that much it's not always necessarily reciprocated
(14:04):
and you don't feel it as much and I just
felt like I was giving giving and not taking
care of my own needs so I started with
like every woman's life right there hello every every
woman everywhere yeah exactly and I my husband at the time we were having some
(14:26):
challenges getting pregnant as well and so that added to it on top of it plus
being the people pleaser you know doing all the things at school and extracurricular.
It was just weighing on me.
And I hired a leadership coach.
And she's like, you need to make decisions for yourself.
(14:46):
And I'm like, okay, good advice. But how do I do that?
So I did a little bit more research on the brain, like my own personality and
personalities kind of combined in that.
And I've always really loved coaching.
So but But the people pleasing was so prevalent and so challenged that people,
(15:10):
as I started out saying in this podcast, is that I realized,
oh my goodness, I don't even know what I want.
So then I started discovering what I liked.
And that's, you know, setting my values from there. And that really helped to
streamline to go into, okay, this is now something that I can teach others because I'm having success.
(15:35):
And, you know, I had my son in 2009, which is fantastic.
And then now they call it marriage breakdowns. I had my marriage breakdown in
2013. I didn't know we had a new term for it. I hadn't heard that. That's a new one.
That's, that's, maybe it's a Canadian thing. I like it. We're going to start
using that. We're going to bring it in. Yeah. Yeah.
(15:56):
Yes. And so that just really kind of propelled me into like with it.
Okay. What kind of person do I want to be for my son so that he can see and
kind of, you know, really kind of emulate and have a good role model.
And I still, timing was everything, especially because we had the shared custody.
(16:19):
And I just really kind of honed in on that with the values and knowing that
you're not 100% all the time.
And sometimes we need to kind of take a step back. So.
That's kind of, yeah. I love a woman who's been there, done that.
And then she's taking those skills to really help other people be,
(16:41):
not make those same mistakes or at least, you know, find ways to,
you know, curb them and make them, you know, in a positive way.
So, I mean, I tend to think like, I wish I always had another,
you know, at least four hours per day personally, but I do tend to think like, you're not getting it.
I know, I know there's only 24 unless I'm staying up for the wee hours.
(17:03):
But I think I tend to kind of, I've learned where I can be most successful and
how I can manage my time and get what I need done for myself,
which works some days, most days. Some days it's a complete frigging disaster.
But we all know those people that are in our orbits, in our world,
and their hair is on fire constantly.
(17:24):
And I do feel like there are certain people that love to live in that chaos.
You know, they love to waste the last minute to do things where I look at that
and I'm like, ah, you know, I like to accomplish the tasks that I know that
I can get done knowing that some steaming fireball is going to come my way at
any moment and I need to have a little space for it.
You know, how do the people that are on fire all the time, you know,
(17:46):
because I feel like you can only live like that for so long before your body's
just going to say, you know what, I'm done.
Like, you know, you're just, and then they're in the position where they really
are, you know, not healthy or they have a breakdown of sorts.
So, you know, how do we speak to those people because we know they listen.
You know, how do we get them, you know, to employ some of these ideas in their own mind?
(18:11):
Yeah. And for me, it comes back to that energy. Like, how do you want to feel overall?
And if they want to, maybe they label their chaos, like what we would consider
their chaos, that that's excitement for them. Right. And so, So.
I think that that makes a big difference. If they're doing it,
(18:33):
we like we can scold little kids different ways, right?
Like, you know, out of frustration, or we can come at it like a different way,
as in we're trying to teach them something, right?
Or and so I think that makes a big difference when we're dealing with people
who we think are having chaos.
(18:54):
And they're just like like this? Well, a I'd ask, like, is that how they want to be?
And some people just like, that's how they thrive.
And then, you know, if that's not it, then, you know, get them in that, that energy state.
Okay, what do you want to, you know, really describing what they want to feel,
(19:14):
and then it's easier to go after that, right? And to spot that difference.
And then we just slip them and then we just slip them your website and say,
you know what you got a gal that you
might want to talk to you might want to connect with
jennifer yeah thanks it
it is a lot of people pleasing though right it's being
(19:35):
okay with saying no and i actually
have a training on that turbocharge your no is like how do you say no and still
feel good about it because again you've been a little bit trained to always
say yes yes and sometimes times it's to everyone's benefit if we say no,
right? We've been a lot of bit trained.
(19:56):
Women tend to be people pleasers, right?
We tend to just say, of course, I mean, they even say like, you want something
done, give it to a busy woman.
Like there's someone who can't say no, you know, guilty as charged.
Let's talk a little bit about Stone and Strategies, your business,
because there's actually multiple different ways clients can work with you,
different levels of engagement.
So give us a little overview on how you work with different clients and what
(20:20):
what the options are for them there.
All right, yeah, so I can do the energy mapping assessment.
And actually, it's a free ebook. And then if you would like a one to one consultation,
then I come up and I give you another assessment evaluation.
And we spent some time over the phone, discussing your strategies.
(20:42):
Strategies and by then I would know a little bit about you and suggest specific
activities that you can do at each energy level.
So that is definitely one way and many people who do that then they kind of
roll into the accountability coaching where I meet with you 20 minutes every week.
We set up your schedule, semi set it up and I don't necessarily believe in to-do lists.
(21:08):
I believe in power lists for the week, because sometimes those fireballs come
and we're like, oh, shit, like we got to we got to clear everything today and
get do this right now. Right.
So a powerless just allows you to kind of be a little bit more flexible.
And yeah, so we test, especially we hone off your peak performance hours.
(21:30):
And that's really key, right?
In that so and then I just I not just I check in, I check in all week and,
you know, ask key questions and everything to get some feedback and keep you
on track so that you can accomplish the the power list that you have set out. So that's really key.
And then also workshops workshops are one of my favorite things.
(21:54):
Just, you know, I like a crowd and I love, you know, designing things that are
going to help the organization or your own business and propel forward. So.
And as an employer too, I mean, for our listeners that have businesses,
I mean, a lot of your employees, I mean, I've had employees before that have
horrible time management. I mean, they get the deliverables done,
(22:16):
but you're just like, gosh, there was such a better way to like,
like not be all wigged out.
And I think a lot of what you're talking about are tools that can help in a
lot of different ways, not only personally, but as a business owner and a business woman too.
I love a non-negotiable time part for myself. And I think that's something I learned.
You know, in the last few years, my non-negotiable is every morning,
(22:39):
I go do some fitness, right? Because that's a way for me that like clear my head.
What's your thoughts on the non-negotiables? Like the ones that like my day
will start as Jeff Bezos at 10 o'clock, because I want to be with my kids.
And I want to do those things. I mean, do you? Do you like that methodology?
I think it depends on what season of life you're in. Really, it really depends.
(23:02):
And that's why it you know, all of my offerings tend to be very personal,
because it really depends on the season.
If you have young kids, good luck having non negotiables, right?
It's very, it's way more challenging. And then, if you know,
you have more control over your time, then that's fantastic, right?
(23:23):
And be able to really hone that in.
So I think it, it depends on your season.
And you know what, you can try it out and readjust maybe every quarter kind of thing.
This is good. There are key. I know you typically work with female male entrepreneurs,
where do you see big differences in time and productivity, time management and
(23:46):
time productivity between men and women?
And I'm thinking, as you talk about the seasons of life, like our seasons are
very different than their seasons. Oh, yes.
Very. And I do work that into my accountability. Definitely the cycle,
depending on where we are, it does make a big difference.
I think, you know, I was thinking today and I heard someone say,
(24:11):
actually it was a comedian, I'm just trying to remember her name,
but she made a good point in the sense that,
Men were very much raised to perform, right?
Like, here's my thing. Whereas females are tend to, you know,
perform, but like, to get to help you to take care of you, you know, just to do that.
(24:33):
So I think, again, that's where we most women tend to be really big people pleasers,
because that's how we were trained. Supportive role, like we're the supporting,
the best supporting actress, right?
We're not rarely thought of as the lead, which we need to be more.
Exactly. So I think just building up that confidence and being able to say no
(24:55):
in a way that we're okay with, like, it's not like a bitch, you know,
or actually my, my, my partner, my fiance,
he said to me the other day, he said, like, what did he call me?
And I said, I'd rather be called a bitch because a bitch is strong and confident.
And he starts laughing at me. And he is fantastic.
(25:16):
Men just get it in their head for time management.
And there's no checking. There's no like, do I have to do this or this or this?
It's like, no, I'm going to do this. And that's my focus.
So I think that's where the typical male can really thrive because they're not
(25:37):
worried about all the other factors.
And we women are absorbing all the sound waves and the ripples and,
oh, I gotta do this. And, oh, I gotta go to the store.
And, oh, I gotta pick up the kids. And, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
And I think that, you know, it can be so overwhelming sometimes.
And, you know, some days you're just like, you got no more gas in the tank and
(25:59):
it can be such a failure moment for us girls.
But I do think with just a quick little tweak here and there,
And I love that energy mapping, like really thinking about where your best energies
are spent and your brainpower.
I mean, that is like, like I said, like that is just, it's such a good takeaway.
I dig it. I love it. I love it. I love it. And I also love that time management
(26:21):
is an international issue.
It's not just something that we see here, you know, in the Bay Area. It is everywhere.
So tell us, like, how would someone connect with you? I mean,
where do we, how do we get our listeners in touch with you?
Yeah, I'm Jen Sonnen on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn,
(26:41):
Jen and Jennifer and sonnenstrategies.com for sure. And yeah.
I dig it. And you can come everything is virtual, which is neat,
too, because a lot of us, you know, obviously, we're not flying all around like
we if we want to be because our time does not allow it.
Well, I am I'm really just excited to be able to, like, open up the conversation
(27:03):
to let people know that they're not alone and that the time management factor
is something that, you know, if we we all take a little bit of time, no pun intended,
to really realize where our energies are best spent. I mean,
I'm talking about total pun intended.
It's a total pun. I know I've been doing
this enough now after I think 180 episodes, I try to word it in there.
(27:23):
But to see a woman who's really, you know, had her battles with managing her
own, you know, efforts and then figuring out a way that works and then helping
propel others to do the same is really admirable and inspirational.
So we thank you, Jennifer, for joining us. We'll put all of your details in our show notes.
And we hope that everybody out there looks at their time map and figures out
(27:43):
how to best spend it and is inspired.
Hello, and welcome to Inspired, your grown-up girl talk.
I'm Stacey Flings with co-host Samantha Tredelius on another Monday.
Monday, that's a Tuesday. Well, it's actually Tuesday, but it feels like- I
know, but we'll be posting this on a Monday, so we're going to say happy Monday
to anyone who's listening.
Yeah, we're recording on a Tuesday. It's a beautiful day. It's a great day with
(00:23):
a great topic to jump into because I think it's one of those things we all could
really figure out how to be better at.
I don't know anyone who doesn't say that they could have better time management.
In fact, okay, truth be told, I was watching Family Feud last night while I
was waiting for the voice to start.
And one of the questions on the speed round thing, where they do at the end,
(00:47):
was name something that people waste.
And the guy who was doing it said time, and it actually didn't get great responses,
which I was a little disappointed about because I I thought it was a brilliant answer.
And I thought anyone who answered that could for sure talk to Jennifer,
our guest today, because I think she could help them.
(01:08):
All of us. Yeah. Yeah. So Jennifer Stonin, thank you for being here with us today.
Jennifer Stonin of Stonin Strategies, you are a time and productivity coach,
which I got to be honest with you, like I didn't know existed beyond a planner
that I could buy at my local Staples,
(01:29):
but having somebody to help hold
us accountable and teach us the tips and tricks to not only time manage,
but as you say, bring joy into your life and more effective time management.
So we always like to start kind of backing up a little bit and tell us sort
of how you got into this line of work.
(01:49):
I mean, you grew up on a farm, so we've gone from farm.
Coaching. And I feel like there's probably, I don't know, a handful of things
in between that maybe. Yeah.
Yeah. And, and thank you so much for having me on and you're right.
Like, I mean, it's definitely a niche.
I started out doing more like big general coaching and just really Really for
(02:14):
who I am and a lot of the people that I attract as well for clients,
it's like kind of not get in and get out kind of thing with,
but time management, I love it because it's, you can't argue with it.
We all have the 24 hours, right?
So that's really kind of how over the years.
(02:36):
That it's really developed. And I've really niche into that,
because no one can argue with me that I'm being any, anything,
but like, we have 24 hours.
So that's a great equalizer, right? Exactly.
And it is the most precious non renewable resource that we have.
So I feel like that's that has a big impact.
(02:57):
And me being a business person, I just like efficiency, right?
Like, so if we can and use our resources to the utmost, that's fantastic. And it's effective.
If we know how to manage and create that productivity, that's the best thing, right?
So that's kind of why I really, I love time.
(03:18):
I really do. And so funny here. I'll get into my story. I have my little timer here.
Love that timer. This is a half
an hour one. So I use time cubes and everything, but it's a great visual.
And you guys can't see it, but it's a, it's a, the hourglass is with sand,
a 30 minute version in a beautiful blue, actually. I love that.
(03:44):
For the visual friends, which is some of us tend to, to tend to absorb and learn
a little bit, I think as women,
we don't necessarily have the best concepts with managing our time,
mainly because our time is being, you know, divided amongst, you know, mom us,
woman us, business us, you know, friend us, all the different us's.
(04:06):
And, you know, I always like to kind of put it into buckets,
you know, and those different buckets look different every single day for every single one of us.
But I do feel like women, we have this sense of failure when we don't,
you know, complete the tasks or the things that are on our docket for the day.
And, you know, what it really does boil down to is how you manage your days.
(04:26):
And knowing that it, I think in a lot of the work you do, it doesn't always
have to be the same structure every single day, right?
Exactly. And that's really true. And I really like how you just said that, right?
Like there's so many different parts of us and we are very much...
What's the word? Well, trained. I'm going to just say that we're,
you know, whether it's generational trained that as women, we say yes, yes, yes, yes.
(04:50):
And it just keeps adding and adding and we don't really stop and analyze,
okay, well, actually, how much time does this task really take me?
And with a lot of my clients and myself, too, that's where I where I started
was with myself, I started to time, okay, I have all these to do lists and started
(05:11):
timing, okay, okay, how much time does this actually take?
And then I realized like, holy shit, I literally do not have the physical time.
And that really made a big, big difference.
And even I'm a one goal kind of gal, one or two at the max, because really by
(05:31):
the time we take up a lot of our day, and like you said, it kind of varies.
We only have one or two hours to kind of work on our goals. But yeah,
and again, with the schedule, I definitely, I have my son, we share custody with my ex-husband.
So I, for the longest time, work on a two-week rotating cycle,
(05:53):
you know, so. So, okay, that, that kind of sucks when you put it in perspective
that we only have one or two hours a day to work on goals.
Like somehow in my head, I thought I had more, but you're probably right.
Okay. So how do we, how do we stop playing this game of whack-a-mole every day?
Because I feel like every morning we wake up and you have a,
(06:17):
like your to-do list or you have time blocking or whatever it is that you get,
your planner from Staples, whatever it is you use to organize,
it seems like every day, you know, by halfway through, you're fully into whack-a-mole
and you're just firefighting and dealing with what's coming at you instead of
what you should be doing.
So how do we change that narrative in our brains?
(06:40):
Well, I just really, I encourage people definitely to do an assessment before
we, you know, try and change a bunch of stuff, kind of really get an idea of where you're at.
So whether it be, you know, tracking your time, but I just, I just developed
and came out with like a different way to do energy mapping,
(07:01):
because really, it depends for me on my energy level,
like I might have time at nine o'clock at night. And I might have time at nine
o'clock at night, but I might have time at nine o'clock at
is my energy there? And then how can I structure that?
So a lot of times it begins with an evaluation of, okay, where am I at right now?
What's my energy level at? And then I really help people and map out where's
(07:23):
their peak performance so that they can, you know, really highlight those,
that era, like that time to really maximize on there.
So a lot of it begins with an assessment of where you are, and then,
you know, kind of what your values are and what you're going to go after.
And when I said that two hours of, you know, working on your goal,
(07:43):
that's like kind of above and beyond if you're working at a goal outside of
your job or your business. Okay, I'm a little less sad.
I saw an interview with Jeff Bezos, and he was talking about how he doesn't
set meetings before 10 o'clock in the morning because he likes to,
as he puts it, putter in the morning, have time with his kids, whatever.
(08:04):
But then his max hard stuff that he does, he'll do between 10 and noon because
he knows that that's the best time to make the big decisions.
And then if you come at him at 5 o'clock in the afternoon with a big decision,
he's going to tell you, we need to do this between 10 and 12 tomorrow because I'm not at a place.
And I think it's cool to really hone in and figure that out about yourself.
(08:25):
And I don't think many of us even really think about ourselves and our brain
space in that way to make the powerful decisions.
Because like Stacey said, we're firefighting, you know, and then you have a
kid that gets sick or you have something that falls on your desk and it's just
like the steaming pile of shit that you got to deal with.
And you're like, okay, well, you know, whatever I thought I was going to do
(08:45):
today, it's not going to happen.
And so I really love that mindset shift of really just understanding where your
energies are best and then kind of building around that. And I think that's like right there.
I mean, we could just stop the interview right there. I think that's all we needed to know.
Yeah and problems exactly and
so that's where the energy mapping that
(09:06):
i do and i work with people it's it's cognition
it's mindset and your body you
know this one client that i was doing the energy mapping with she was like oh
i'm so disappointed i'm not 100 all the time and i'm like no one is and we can't
be and we don't want to be because there are different times for like like you
(09:28):
were mentioning about the energy,
you know, Jeff Bezos, noon to 10 to noon,
it really does make a difference because when I'm at like 50 and 75%,
that actually is super creative sometimes when I'm with people because that's
when the brainstorming, and we know that.
I always compare it to, you know, after you've had like one glass of wine or
(09:50):
two glasses of wine, great ideas come out.
Oh my God, the most brilliant idea came out after like a bottle. The best.
(10:27):
Give the best while your best is between 10 and 12. So you'll try and, you know,
capture that. And, you know, even for this interview, I restructured my day
because I wanted to make sure that I had my energy on.
And so, you know, you can do that. It doesn't mean that every single day you're going to do that.
(10:47):
But, you know, when things come up as fantastic as this, that I want to be here
and I want to be energized.
So I never really thought about that because I tend to set meetings or appointments
like you just open up the calendar and you look Look at what's free rather than
really thinking about sort of what you already have scheduled in that day or
what what time of the day in terms of the life cycle of the day you're hitting.
(11:11):
So interesting, interesting points. Now, you you develop this this coaching
technique in your business really from personal experiences, right?
Grew out of your own personal experiences.
So tell us a little bit about sort of what got you there, what what you were
going through. because I'll bet a lot of us are feeling the same.
And then sort of what realization you came to where you're like,
(11:34):
shit, this, this is a thing and people need this.
Yeah. And I mean, really, like a lot of things, even as you were said,
I never really kind of told my background.
I grew up in a farming community in Southern Ontario and Canada.
And, you know, really close with all my family and everything.
(11:54):
And my grandfather, I know you You have a nonprofit organization,
the Sparkle organization, which I love that because my grandfather just always
had the sparkle in his eye.
And I would always be like, you know, a young kid, I'm like,
Grandpa, oh my gosh, we have to irrigate.
And like, we could see the rain coming and hit one of our fields and not all the other fields.
(12:18):
And he's like, Jen, the rain's got to start and stop somewhere.
It's time to irrigate. That's it, right? Right. So growing up,
we just with our time management, it was kind of like, OK, this is what needs
to be done because the weather's dictated.
But as I grew throughout my years and had different experiences,
(12:39):
I really like a changing moment was definitely more in like 2007.
After I've kind of moved different places and everything, I had a really great
career. I was married, I'm formally teacher trained, and outside it looked like I had everything.
(13:00):
Inside, I just felt like I was missing something. I was never good enough.
And on paper, it was fantastic, right? And so...
I just was like, there has to be something more and maybe not something more
or maybe something that I lost along the way.
(13:21):
Cause I never really felt that when I left the farm at, after I was done university.
So like 21, 22, but throughout my late twenties, mid thirties, I definitely felt that.
And it was just like, holy shit, like something's going wrong.
And I definitely was a people
(13:42):
pleaser because that's kind of how I
was trained and but it was
received much differently when I was younger because I
was pleasing my family and they were all happy and we all worked
together on the farm right whereas in in
real life when you're working for other people if you
give that much it's not always necessarily reciprocated
(14:04):
and you don't feel it as much and I just
felt like I was giving giving and not taking
care of my own needs so I started with
like every woman's life right there hello every every
woman everywhere yeah exactly and I my husband at the time we were having some
(14:26):
challenges getting pregnant as well and so that added to it on top of it plus
being the people pleaser you know doing all the things at school and extracurricular.
It was just weighing on me.
And I hired a leadership coach.
And she's like, you need to make decisions for yourself.
(14:46):
And I'm like, okay, good advice. But how do I do that?
So I did a little bit more research on the brain, like my own personality and
personalities kind of combined in that.
And I've always really loved coaching.
So but But the people pleasing was so prevalent and so challenged that people,
(15:10):
as I started out saying in this podcast, is that I realized,
oh my goodness, I don't even know what I want.
So then I started discovering what I liked.
And that's, you know, setting my values from there. And that really helped to
streamline to go into, okay, this is now something that I can teach others because I'm having success.
(15:35):
And, you know, I had my son in 2009, which is fantastic.
And then now they call it marriage breakdowns. I had my marriage breakdown in
2013. I didn't know we had a new term for it. I hadn't heard that. That's a new one.
That's, that's, maybe it's a Canadian thing. I like it. We're going to start
using that. We're going to bring it in. Yeah. Yeah.
(15:56):
Yes. And so that just really kind of propelled me into like with it.
Okay. What kind of person do I want to be for my son so that he can see and
kind of, you know, really kind of emulate and have a good role model.
And I still, timing was everything, especially because we had the shared custody.
(16:19):
And I just really kind of honed in on that with the values and knowing that
you're not 100% all the time.
And sometimes we need to kind of take a step back. So.
That's kind of, yeah. I love a woman who's been there, done that.
And then she's taking those skills to really help other people be,
(16:41):
not make those same mistakes or at least, you know, find ways to,
you know, curb them and make them, you know, in a positive way.
So, I mean, I tend to think like, I wish I always had another,
you know, at least four hours per day personally, but I do tend to think like, you're not getting it.
I know, I know there's only 24 unless I'm staying up for the wee hours.
(17:03):
But I think I tend to kind of, I've learned where I can be most successful and
how I can manage my time and get what I need done for myself,
which works some days, most days. Some days it's a complete frigging disaster.
But we all know those people that are in our orbits, in our world,
and their hair is on fire constantly.
(17:24):
And I do feel like there are certain people that love to live in that chaos.
You know, they love to waste the last minute to do things where I look at that
and I'm like, ah, you know, I like to accomplish the tasks that I know that
I can get done knowing that some steaming fireball is going to come my way at
any moment and I need to have a little space for it.
You know, how do the people that are on fire all the time, you know,
(17:46):
because I feel like you can only live like that for so long before your body's
just going to say, you know what, I'm done.
Like, you know, you're just, and then they're in the position where they really
are, you know, not healthy or they have a breakdown of sorts.
So, you know, how do we speak to those people because we know they listen.
You know, how do we get them, you know, to employ some of these ideas in their own mind?
(18:11):
Yeah. And for me, it comes back to that energy. Like, how do you want to feel overall?
And if they want to, maybe they label their chaos, like what we would consider
their chaos, that that's excitement for them. Right. And so, So.
I think that that makes a big difference. If they're doing it,
(18:33):
we like we can scold little kids different ways, right?
Like, you know, out of frustration, or we can come at it like a different way,
as in we're trying to teach them something, right?
Or and so I think that makes a big difference when we're dealing with people
who we think are having chaos.
(18:54):
And they're just like like this? Well, a I'd ask, like, is that how they want to be?
And some people just like, that's how they thrive.
And then, you know, if that's not it, then, you know, get them in that, that energy state.
Okay, what do you want to, you know, really describing what they want to feel,
(19:14):
and then it's easier to go after that, right? And to spot that difference.
And then we just slip them and then we just slip them your website and say,
you know what you got a gal that you
might want to talk to you might want to connect with
jennifer yeah thanks it
it is a lot of people pleasing though right it's being
(19:35):
okay with saying no and i actually
have a training on that turbocharge your no is like how do you say no and still
feel good about it because again you've been a little bit trained to always
say yes yes and sometimes times it's to everyone's benefit if we say no,
right? We've been a lot of bit trained.
(19:56):
Women tend to be people pleasers, right?
We tend to just say, of course, I mean, they even say like, you want something
done, give it to a busy woman.
Like there's someone who can't say no, you know, guilty as charged.
Let's talk a little bit about Stone and Strategies, your business,
because there's actually multiple different ways clients can work with you,
different levels of engagement.
So give us a little overview on how you work with different clients and what
(20:20):
what the options are for them there.
All right, yeah, so I can do the energy mapping assessment.
And actually, it's a free ebook. And then if you would like a one to one consultation,
then I come up and I give you another assessment evaluation.
And we spent some time over the phone, discussing your strategies.
(20:42):
Strategies and by then I would know a little bit about you and suggest specific
activities that you can do at each energy level.
So that is definitely one way and many people who do that then they kind of
roll into the accountability coaching where I meet with you 20 minutes every week.
We set up your schedule, semi set it up and I don't necessarily believe in to-do lists.
(21:08):
I believe in power lists for the week, because sometimes those fireballs come
and we're like, oh, shit, like we got to we got to clear everything today and
get do this right now. Right.
So a powerless just allows you to kind of be a little bit more flexible.
And yeah, so we test, especially we hone off your peak performance hours.
(21:30):
And that's really key, right?
In that so and then I just I not just I check in, I check in all week and,
you know, ask key questions and everything to get some feedback and keep you
on track so that you can accomplish the the power list that you have set out. So that's really key.
And then also workshops workshops are one of my favorite things.
(21:54):
Just, you know, I like a crowd and I love, you know, designing things that are
going to help the organization or your own business and propel forward. So.
And as an employer too, I mean, for our listeners that have businesses,
I mean, a lot of your employees, I mean, I've had employees before that have
horrible time management. I mean, they get the deliverables done,
(22:16):
but you're just like, gosh, there was such a better way to like,
like not be all wigged out.
And I think a lot of what you're talking about are tools that can help in a
lot of different ways, not only personally, but as a business owner and a business woman too.
I love a non-negotiable time part for myself. And I think that's something I learned.
You know, in the last few years, my non-negotiable is every morning,
(22:39):
I go do some fitness, right? Because that's a way for me that like clear my head.
What's your thoughts on the non-negotiables? Like the ones that like my day
will start as Jeff Bezos at 10 o'clock, because I want to be with my kids.
And I want to do those things. I mean, do you? Do you like that methodology?
I think it depends on what season of life you're in. Really, it really depends.
(23:02):
And that's why it you know, all of my offerings tend to be very personal,
because it really depends on the season.
If you have young kids, good luck having non negotiables, right?
It's very, it's way more challenging. And then, if you know,
you have more control over your time, then that's fantastic, right?
(23:23):
And be able to really hone that in.
So I think it, it depends on your season.
And you know what, you can try it out and readjust maybe every quarter kind of thing.
This is good. There are key. I know you typically work with female male entrepreneurs,
where do you see big differences in time and productivity, time management and
(23:46):
time productivity between men and women?
And I'm thinking, as you talk about the seasons of life, like our seasons are
very different than their seasons. Oh, yes.
Very. And I do work that into my accountability. Definitely the cycle,
depending on where we are, it does make a big difference.
I think, you know, I was thinking today and I heard someone say,
(24:11):
actually it was a comedian, I'm just trying to remember her name,
but she made a good point in the sense that,
Men were very much raised to perform, right?
Like, here's my thing. Whereas females are tend to, you know,
perform, but like, to get to help you to take care of you, you know, just to do that.
(24:33):
So I think, again, that's where we most women tend to be really big people pleasers,
because that's how we were trained. Supportive role, like we're the supporting,
the best supporting actress, right?
We're not rarely thought of as the lead, which we need to be more.
Exactly. So I think just building up that confidence and being able to say no
(24:55):
in a way that we're okay with, like, it's not like a bitch, you know,
or actually my, my, my partner, my fiance,
he said to me the other day, he said, like, what did he call me?
And I said, I'd rather be called a bitch because a bitch is strong and confident.
And he starts laughing at me. And he is fantastic.
(25:16):
Men just get it in their head for time management.
And there's no checking. There's no like, do I have to do this or this or this?
It's like, no, I'm going to do this. And that's my focus.
So I think that's where the typical male can really thrive because they're not
(25:37):
worried about all the other factors.
And we women are absorbing all the sound waves and the ripples and,
oh, I gotta do this. And, oh, I gotta go to the store.
And, oh, I gotta pick up the kids. And, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
And I think that, you know, it can be so overwhelming sometimes.
And, you know, some days you're just like, you got no more gas in the tank and
(25:59):
it can be such a failure moment for us girls.
But I do think with just a quick little tweak here and there,
And I love that energy mapping, like really thinking about where your best energies
are spent and your brainpower.
I mean, that is like, like I said, like that is just, it's such a good takeaway.
I dig it. I love it. I love it. I love it. And I also love that time management
(26:21):
is an international issue.
It's not just something that we see here, you know, in the Bay Area. It is everywhere.
So tell us, like, how would someone connect with you? I mean,
where do we, how do we get our listeners in touch with you?
Yeah, I'm Jen Sonnen on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn,
(26:41):
Jen and Jennifer and sonnenstrategies.com for sure. And yeah.
I dig it. And you can come everything is virtual, which is neat,
too, because a lot of us, you know, obviously, we're not flying all around like
we if we want to be because our time does not allow it.
Well, I am I'm really just excited to be able to, like, open up the conversation
(27:03):
to let people know that they're not alone and that the time management factor
is something that, you know, if we we all take a little bit of time, no pun intended,
to really realize where our energies are best spent. I mean,
I'm talking about total pun intended.
It's a total pun. I know I've been doing
this enough now after I think 180 episodes, I try to word it in there.
(27:23):
But to see a woman who's really, you know, had her battles with managing her
own, you know, efforts and then figuring out a way that works and then helping
propel others to do the same is really admirable and inspirational.
So we thank you, Jennifer, for joining us. We'll put all of your details in our show notes.
And we hope that everybody out there looks at their time map and figures out
(27:43):
how to best spend it and is inspired.
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