May 8, 2024 • 33 mins
Welcome to this moving episode of the 'Ladies Who Leap' podcast. Through an inspiring conversation with Paul Forchione, a Mindset Coach who himself has leapt over innumerable barriers, we shine a light on the power of resilience, optimism and determination. Born with severe cerebral palsy, Paul proves that even the most difficult circumstances can be overcome, and in doing so, inspires us to leap towards our own goals.
The host, Lisa Andria, a Transformation Life Coach, explores various facets of Paul's life and listens to his powerful takeaways from his journey. From dealing with school bullying and getting to grips with baseball, to his life-altering decision to step into the coaching realm, this episode gives you a front-row seat to Paul’s life story.
Discover how Paul once thought himself incapable of pursuing higher education but then took the leap of faith towards academic success. Learn about his transition from the mortgage industry, becoming jobless in 2008, and turning it into an opportunity to become a motivational speaker and coach.
Tune in to Paul's insightful narrative that underscores the significant role vulnerability plays in connecting with others. Hear about his contributions as a coach to young athletes, encouraging them to express openly, developing their personal goals, and guiding them towards success.
Along with his professional insights, Paul shares his personal practices such as his daily gratitude ritual, his views on therapy versus coaching, his methods of overcoming bad days, and his mantra 'If you believe you will achieve.' His dedication to the growth and success of his students is a testament to his commitment and passion for his work. He also shares how to contact him and his valuable resources, like his 'Rewrite Your Story' Facebook group and his free eBook at AcalltoAction.coach.
Join us in this dynamic conversation to discover Paul’s journey from adversity to triumph, a testament to the human spirit’s ability to rewrite its story and certainly a treasure trove of inspiration for anyone looking to leap towards their dreams.
Please subscribe to the Ladies Who Leap podcast to get updates on new episodes happening the 1st and 8th of every month.
To reach Lisa Andria for Transformation Coaching, go to LadiesWhoLeap.com to set up a free Leap Discovery call.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Lisa Andrea, Transformation Life Coach.
Welcome to the Ladies Who Leap podcast, where guests share their inspiring stories
of leaping out of their comfort zone, confidence and power, and into a life
of purpose and fulfillment.
Let's listen to their life-changing stories so that we can all learn how to
(00:22):
gain the courage to take a leap of faith into a life that we love so that we
can all be Ladies Who Leap. Let's get started.
Hello, and welcome to the Ladies Who Leap podcast. Today, I have a lad who leaps,
(00:43):
my friend, an inspirational person that I know you will enjoy listening to, Paul Fortune.
Paul was born with cerebral palsy, and it was so severe that the doctors told
his mom that he would never be able to walk.
Thank goodness for a wonderful mom and a great mindset.
That wasn't his story. He was able to overcome it and is able to live a very active life.
(01:06):
It wasn't easy, however, to get to that point. Today, as a mindset coach,
Paul shares his story with his clients to help them rewrite their own stories
to go after their true dreams and desires. Sires. Welcome, Paul.
Lisa, I'm so honored to be on your podcast, Ladies Who Leap.
Like you said, I'm a lad, so I'm touched that you bent the rules to have me, a lad, on your podcast.
(01:32):
Well, you're worth it, Paul. And I know that. So everyone who's listening,
it's worth listening to Paul as a lad.
And we want to help mostly women. I want to help be able to leap because unfortunately
Fortunately, as women, we do hit that obstacle quite often.
We can learn from everyone, and we know that. So that's why I've invited you.
Your story inspired you to write a book and a guide called How to Rewrite Your Story.
(01:57):
I shared how you were born with cerebral palsy. Your mom, with her superpowers
of positivity and hope, I call her the supermom, helped you create a life that
many doctors didn't think was possible.
Tell us how she guided you from birth to rewrite your story. Right.
When I was born, I wasn't moving the right side of my body very much.
And obviously my mom was very concerned about that.
(02:20):
So she took me to the doctors to see what was going on.
And that's where I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
And this first doctor thought the cerebral palsy was so severe that I would
never, ever be able to walk.
And it would be a good idea when I got to a certain age to get me in a wheelchair
because that was going to be my life going forward.
(02:40):
I've had many conversations with my mom about this Lisa and when she heard that
news naturally she was devastated like what was going to be the life for a baby
boy write herself to sleep that night you know and the pain of that that thought.
But when she got me ready for that next day, she said I gave her a look.
And I'm an infant. I can't speak at this point.
(03:01):
She said I gave her a look. If to say, mom, do not let this be my story. I want to walk.
And that mama bear inside of her started raging. So she got a second opinion,
a third opinion, fourth opinion, finally found a physician willing to help.
And with this physician's help and me doing physical therapy five to six times
a week, I was walking between age two and three, a feat that four of the doctors
(03:25):
said was impossible for me to do.
I was doing because of the work that I was putting in.
And obviously because my mom would not stop until that happened.
Wondering, do you still keep up or keep track with that doctor?
I mean, how has that doctor, I mean, to have that person actually say,
yes, this kid can do this. He had to have a pretty big impact on you guys.
(03:46):
Yeah. I should say doctor, I shouldn't make any Any assumptions? That was bad.
No, it is a he. It's Dr. Dernan.
He's still alive to this day. I haven't spoken to him in a long time,
but my mom, I think, saw him within the last five to 10 years.
(04:06):
And she went up to him and said, hey, do you remember me?
And he's like, of course I do. Of course I do, Terry. and they had a conversation. How's Paul doing?
And I mean, I haven't seen this. I mean, I'm 43.
I haven't seen him since I was probably three or four years old.
So I haven't seen him in that long, but he remembered me and he remembered my mom.
(04:30):
So it definitely made an impact on his life. So I was touched to hear that.
I know that part of your story is that you had a job for many years and then
you transitioned into being a coach.
How did you take that leap and where did you get the confidence and courage
to do that? What, tell us that story.
Well, can I go back before I got the job just to kind of give a little background on that?
(04:55):
So when I was walking, yes. I mean, that was a huge feat, but at that time in
my life, I couldn't walk very far. I could barely run.
So I was bullied and teased quite a bit in school. I remember.
Getting, my parents getting divorced and me going to a different school.
(05:15):
And at the time I walked with a little bit of a limp and I held my right arm differently.
And when I, when I got, when my parents got divorced, I was 12 or 13 years old.
So that's a tough age to switch schools at, right?
Because these kids are going through hormonal changes.
They've already formed their cliques. A lot of them have been going to school
(05:35):
with each other for years and years and years.
So already they don't have time for anybody new, but I'm a new kid who walks
with a little bit of a limp and holds his right arm differently.
So when I came to the school, I could not break in at all.
I was bullied, teased, spit on, tackled, you name it, they did it to me.
And I came from this old school mentality where you don't squeal,
(05:59):
you don't tail on anybody.
So I held this pain inside of me throughout my middle school career.
While this was going on, my mom raised me Catholic, so she wanted me to go to a Catholic high school.
So I had to take an assessment test to see where they were going to place me
when I got to high school.
Well, I must have bombed it because when I met with the principal and my mom,
(06:23):
the principal tells the both of us that she's going to put me at the lowest
level possible and she doesn't expect much from me. I don't seem like I'm going to be college material.
After one test, this principal says this to the both of us. So now I think I'm stupid.
I'm going back to a school that does not accept me. Bully. I have no friends.
(06:43):
I'm sitting alone most of the time in my room, crying myself to sleep going,
why me? Why do I have to go through this?
Why can't I just be like everybody else?
And Lisa, I don't know what came over me, but the start of eighth grade,
I was just sick and tired of feeling angry and sad all the time.
So I knew those weren't my go-to emotions, but because of the environment I
(07:06):
was in, those are the emotions that were coming up most of the time.
But I didn't want that anymore.
So I thought, what can I do to change that? And I thought, well,
what if I set a goal for myself, focused hard on this goal, and that will help
me ignore that noise that I was facing? And I thought, well, what can my goal be?
And at the time, I loved sports. I kind of pretended like these people were
(07:29):
my friends because I didn't have any friends.
I was a Dodger fan, so I felt like Mike Piazza and Eric Karros were my friends.
I felt like I was part of their team, and they would give me high fives when
they hit a home run or anything like that. So I love baseball.
So I thought, what if I try to make my varsity baseball team in high school?
So I started playing fall ball, winter ball, spring ball. And if I wasn't doing
(07:51):
that, I was throwing a tennis ball against the wall.
And while I'm going through this journey, I had this coach come to me and goes,
Paul, man, you play a lot of baseball.
What do you want to do with that? And at the time, I didn't want to tell him
that I wanted to make my varsity baseball team because I didn't want him to laugh at me.
So I just say, oh, you know, I just love playing baseball. I just want to play
(08:12):
baseball. He said, okay.
He kept asking me that question. He knew there was more to it than just that.
So he kept asking me that question. And one day he caught me in a weak moment
and I blurt out, I want to make my varsity baseball team. And I'm like, oh crap.
I can't believe I just said that.
And I'm bracing myself for him to laugh at me.
(08:34):
But he looked at me, pause for a second.
And he said, that's doable. I'm like, what? That is doable?
Yes, that is absolutely doable, Paul. But you have to have other people keep
you accountable for this. And I'm like, what the heck do you mean by that?
Other people keep me accountable? I don't know what that means.
And he goes, after practice tomorrow, you're going to go in front of that team
(08:56):
and tell the team that's your goal.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. These kids just started accepting me.
If I tell them something like that, they're going to start it laughing at me.
And he goes, Paul, there's going to be times in this journey where you're not going to feel it.
And you're going to need the push and the motivation from your teammates to
keep going. When things get tough, they need to know your goal.
(09:17):
So reluctantly I said, okay, I'll do it.
And after practice, I'm shaking and I tell the team my goal and they didn't laugh at me either.
Matter of fact, they clapped for me. And I know this now, I didn't know this
when I'm scrolling through this journey, but I started to have a different energy.
I started gaining more clarity in myself, my shoulders back, my head up.
(09:41):
And as a result of this new energy I was sending out towards these kids,
they started sending me a different energy back towards me.
Instead of bullying and teasing me, they started rooting for me.
I gained friendships that I did not have before, all because of how I carried
myself. And that alone is the win.
But the cherry on top was I was able to make my varsity baseball team as a junior and a senior.
In my senior year, I pitched a three-inch shutout. They poured the Gatorade
(10:05):
on me, and I felt so alive. I felt so good about myself.
And I graduate high school. So so we're going to stop for a second.
Yeah, please. That is a story of courage.
It was a supportive person, that coach who believed in you.
And then you just blurted it out, which you don't even realize was like an unconscious,
(10:25):
courageous act that had it.
You had it inside of you and you actually believed you could do it because there's
no way you would have blurted it out if you really didn't believe that you could
do it. So you believed enough in yourself. It took someone else to just get it out.
So you just took, like they say, just take the first step.
And that was the first step was saying, okay, I'm going to admit that I want to do this.
And you're going to, it's going to keep you accountable because you've told
(10:46):
everybody, which is exactly what people should do. If you want to go after a
dream, you need to tell people, I'm going after this dream, and that's going
to keep you accountable.
So, wow, at that young age, I did not have the courage at that young of an age
to do anything like that.
So I give you so much credit. That was amazing.
And you had a lot of an obstacle. You had a huge obstacle to overcome.
(11:08):
So then going from that, where you're now feeling confident,
you've got the courage, okay, what's the next step?
So I was sort of reflecting on that goal that I set because like I thought,
I was not going to make it.
But subconsciously, like you said, there was part of me that did.
But at the time, I wasn't thinking that way. But yeah, if I can reflect on it,
I probably was thinking the way you're saying.
(11:31):
But I thought, wow, I made this goal happen. So why can't I set another goal
for myself? See, all through high school, I mailed it in.
I just did enough to stay eligible for baseball because in the back of my mind,
I thought, well, I'm not college material.
I'm not smart enough to go to college. So why waste my time and do any extra
studying? Because that was not going to be my future.
(11:53):
So I spent all my time with the baseball and just doing enough.
So my grades weren't great. But I thought, man, if I could make this role a
reality, why can't I set another goal for myself to say that I am college material? material.
So I enrolled into a junior college because that was the only place that would accept me at the time.
I got myself a math tutor. I got myself an English tutor.
(12:14):
I went to the math lab. I did everything necessary to increase my grade point average.
And due to my hard work, I took my barely a 2.0, if not lower than that,
all the way to 3.5, where I was able to transfer to a four-year university and
become college material.
And I so wanted to go back to that principal and say, see, see,
you were wrong. I was college material.
(12:35):
But you know what? I thought about that quite a bit.
And I thought, you know what? I should thank her because all through college,
all I thought, all I had was her voice in my head said, I'm not college material.
And my next thought was, I'll show you I am college material.
So I probably hit the books harder because of that motivation.
So I forgive. And this goes back to your question on, you know,
(12:58):
I had another career before I got into coaching.
I'm 22, 23 years old. I have no life experience.
I have no idea what the heck I want to do with my life. I had a family friend
who was in the mortgage industry.
He was a CEO of a small bank. And he said, hey, we're hiring loan officers.
Would you like to be hired? I'm like, I got nothing going on. Let's do this.
(13:19):
So I'm kind of excited because it's my first time having what's,
quote unquote, an adult job. Because I had to wear business clothes to work.
And I had a briefcase. And I was just excited to start my career after college.
And when I get there, no one wants to speak to me.
I'm being shunned. I couldn't believe it. I'm like, what the heck is going on?
(13:42):
I'm sitting alone at lunch.
I haven't felt this way since middle school. Why won't these people talk to me?
And I quickly realized what the issue was. Word flew around that I knew the CEO of the company.
So it wasn't because of my talents. It's because of who I knew.
So they didn't think I belonged there. So they were going to chew me up and spit me out.
But I was determined to change that. that mindset.
(14:04):
So I went in there with a great work ethic. I didn't complain about the workload.
And from afar, because they didn't want to talk to me, I was observing what
the top loan officers did in the company.
And I'll never forget my first day of wanting to go out and get loans for the first time.
I had a stack of rate sheets and I was going out the door and my family friend,
(14:25):
CEO of Stochany goes, what are you doing?
I go, I'm ready to go. I'm going to go out and sell, out. Get loans.
And he looks at me and goes, no, no, you are not ready.
Let's get you some more training. Let's get you some more training for a few
more months. And then we'll send you out there.
And he's like, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I got this. Let me go.
(14:45):
And he's like, okay, okay, go, go.
And Lisa, he was absolutely right. I did way more training because I had no
idea what the heck I was doing.
I fell flat on my face left and right. These clients were abusing me.
I didn't know what I was saying, but months would go by and I started to realize what value I could add.
And I started bringing in loans and more loans and more loans.
(15:07):
And two years later, I became a top producer in this company.
And the people who didn't want to talk to me were now coming to me with questions
on how I was able to turn things around on a fast clip.
And I loved what I did. I was living for months.
I couldn't wait to get to work on Monday morning because I I just enjoyed what
I did because I drove around for work.
I was in LA. I was in Orange County. I was all over the place.
(15:28):
And I thought, wow, there's people in cubicles right now working.
And I get to drive around for work. I thought that was the greatest thing ever.
Then 2008, 2009 hit and the economy tanked it.
And that whole company went belly up. That whole bank went belly up.
And we all had to find different jobs.
(15:49):
And I had to do this three or four times because it was a tough time.
Because the companies were going belly up all the time and a
lot of the companies I was working for didn't have that same work
culture that I did when I when I first started I thought everybody
had this work culture I had no idea I was not versed at different cultures and
and some of these places I was not living for my knees anymore I was dreading
(16:10):
monies I had this Monday's where I a Sunday afternoon I stopped worrying of
having fun with my friends and family and I started worrying about the stresses
about Monday which is awful,
And it got to the point where I was just getting lost and I didn't know what
I wanted to do, but I was miserable at what I was doing.
And one of the last places I was working at, they brought in this motivational
(16:32):
speaker to motivate the team, to bring in more sales.
And I, at first I was like, I am an exceptional salesperson.
I don't need this motivation. I got this.
And while it was mandatory, so I had to go, but back of my mind,
I thought, you know what? if I have to go, I need to give it my full attention.
(16:55):
I need to be fully present.
I don't know what told me to do that, but I had this feeling that I needed to.
So I go in there with that open mind and the guy blew me away.
The guy was just next level, awesome, inspiring, wonderful. And I'm like, I got to talk to him.
I got to tell him how great of a job he did. And he was very, very gracious.
(17:18):
And he said he started as a life coach. I'm like, what the heck is that?
And he explained that to me. I'm like, you know what? Maybe you don't want to get into that.
So I was starting to tell people I wanted to get into coaching.
And people are humoring me and going, okay, life coach, go save the world.
But first bring a couple loans in, will you? So nobody was taking me seriously.
I started to get my website up. I started posting things on social media.
(17:41):
And the legal team that I was working with at the time got wind of that because
they They monitor your social media and everything else.
And I was very transparent with them. I said, you know, the mortgage industry
is my full-time job. And this is, you know, a part-time thing that I want to do.
And they're like, well, this could be a conflict of interest.
We'll get back to him. Like that doesn't sound good.
And they came back with this five page report of what I could and couldn't say.
(18:03):
And I looked at this report. I'm like, there's no way I'm going to make any
traction in the coaching world.
If I call this to the T for a year, I didn't do anything on the coaching.
Chain. I just did everything with mortgage.
I paid off all my debts. I actually even paid off my mortgage, my car, everything.
A year later, I just quit. People look at me like, you are nuts.
(18:24):
You just made President's Club. You just qualified yourself to go on the cruise and this and that.
You're a little burnt out right now. Once you get on the cruise and you come
back, you'll feel refreshed and you'll be fine. I'm like, no,
no, no, no. It's bigger than this. I got to go.
And they're like, all right, man, but you'll be back.
And Lisa, for a long time, I thought they were right because I was getting any
(18:46):
traction in the coaching world.
I'm delivering food. I'm doing odd jobs to make ends meet.
And, you know, I'm talking to people that I went to high school with,
I'm delivering them food and they're like, times must be tough.
And I didn't have time to tell them what was going on. So I just said,
okay, yeah, give them the food and go.
And I'm actually literally crawling in my car going, what am I doing?
(19:08):
I had this great career, I made great money, and now I'm doing this.
But I thought, you know what? Have I given it a go?
Have I given everything I got? Because I do not want to live with a regret.
I kept thinking the word regret in my head. And I thought, okay, well, let's go.
Am I playing coach or am I going to be a coach?
So I bit the bullet and I paid for a coach who was not cheap.
(19:33):
And I went hard. And I started to think about my messaging.
And I thought, how do I expect people to be vulnerable with me if I'm not vulnerable with them?
See, the story I told you about having cerebral palsy, I wanted to bury that
story because all through my life, all I wanted to do was fit in.
I didn't want to stand out. I just wanted to be like everybody else.
So the thought of me bringing that story up, I'd be in tears talking about it
(19:57):
because I just didn't want to go there.
But I thought, how am I expecting people to be vulnerable with me if I don't
share what's going on in my life?
So I started telling my story and it was shaky at first, but I kept telling
it over and over and again.
And I remember my first client ever said, Paul, I don't have cerebral palsy, but I've X, Y, and Z.
And I'd be honored if I could hire you as a coach. And we've been building coaching
(20:20):
clients, speaking gigs.
And now I'm here to talk with you. I mean, and it's interesting because you were almost.
Rust into having to take that leap of faith in yourself because the whole industry
went crazy and then you went from job to job to job and then you realize this is not right for me.
(20:41):
Because you had that first job, which was fantastic because it taught you a
lot, I'm sure, about how to deal with people, how to do sales,
how to talk to people, how to build relationships.
That's the important thing that it taught you. But then when things weren't
going as well, you had to go with your heart. and what you knew that you had
the ability to do and that you knew you could succeed and the fact that you got help.
(21:02):
So you were making yourself vulnerable to everyone else about what your story
was, but you were also making sure that you had support to be able to get you there.
So that means you wanna help others, but you also allow others to help you.
And that's a huge thing because not everybody has that ability either to allow
other people to help them.
(21:23):
So what you do with your, to help your clients, especially you deal with,
you work with a lot of young athletes, right?
You help them keep a positive mindset to achieve their goals.
What are, what are some of the things that you do with those clients and those,
especially the kids? I know you work with adults also, but the kids are really,
it's such a nice specialty that you have.
Yeah. One of the things that I work, like you mentioned, I work with a lot of
(21:45):
high school athletes and college athletes on the mind game there.
And one of the things that I realized with doing it early on was these kids
really didn't have a voice.
Their coaches are in their ear, their parents are on their ear,
their teammates are in their ear, and they don't have a space where they can
just have a voice and just express themselves.
(22:08):
So I think that's huge. One of the biggest things I do is I give the kids a
space, a nonjudgmental space where they can and share what's going on and say,
oh man, it's tough right now. It's hard.
And me being able to, oh, just suck it up.
You know, there's empathy there. I understand. I personally understand because
(22:29):
I was a high school athlete.
So I understand all that, what goes on with that.
But as far as my curriculum is concerned, that's huge. But my curriculum is
this, with these high school athletes is, I have them write out their goals.
I have them write out their goals in their sport, their short-term goals,
their long-term goals in their sport, their goals in their academics,
their goals outside of the sport.
(22:50):
And we go line by line on each one of those goals. And we come Come up with
an action plan for every single one of those goals.
And then we have accountability calls on how these goals are going.
Do we need a pivot? Do we need to change things?
I also go to their events. I route them on.
I want to see how they do, how they handle themselves in the pressure because
(23:10):
then I get an understanding of what's going on.
I think there's something magical about when you're watching people in person
and performing that there might be something I could pick up and help them with. And I do that.
That's huge, by the way. I just want to say, you know, you are going over and
beyond to helping these kids and going to their games on weekends.
(23:32):
You spend a lot of your time doing that. You really, that is over and beyond.
And I have to commend you for that. That's fantastic.
Yeah, because things that they're looking, you can see how they look,
you can see how they react.
There's a lot of things you can just basically write down and say,
okay, we're going to work on this for the next time.
Yeah. And there's a built-up trust with that when they see me live.
(23:53):
It's funny. I'm working with a newer client, right?
And I talk with them on the phone and everything like that.
And sometimes it's hard to gauge how they feel about – because the parents hire me.
So the parents are really, really gung-ho. And sometimes I have to get the kids on board there.
(24:14):
And I had this one client recently you know and I have had some conversations
he can express himself but I I felt you know an energy I'm like is this going
to work for this kid but then when I came to his event and went up to him he
had the biggest smile on his face and then I thought okay,
and and and so I really think that it's important for me to build that rapport
(24:37):
by going to to the event and build that trust with them. I think it's an extra level.
The adults, I don't need to do that as much because they're hiring me, right?
They're paying the money for me. So there's a little bit more of a motivation with them.
So it's a different program for them. But with the kids, I think I feel like
I'd have to go a little bit above and beyond to gain their trust,
(25:01):
to know that I'm there to help them.
I'm not there to make their life harder.
I want to make their job easier so they can go after their goals with more clarity.
Wow. Okay. So speaking of which, that means you are their support system.
Other than your super mom, which I like to call her, who else has kind of helped
(25:23):
you to get through number one, the bad days and give you support like that?
Coaching, like you and I are coaches. So, and I know you believe in this too,
because we've had a lot of conversations with this, but I feel if you,
if you're a coach and you truly believe in coaching, you should have coaches
for yourself to keep you accountable.
And I have that. I actually have a business coach that I currently work with.
(25:47):
And then off and on, I have a life coach that I work with on personal things.
I kind of go off and on just depending on what's been going on in my life.
But I have this person, I still keep in touch with them.
I don't currently work with her right now, but I do when I need help.
I normally work with her three or four times a year to help me through some stuff.
(26:09):
But I have two coaches for myself that I pay for.
And I think it's extremely important if you believe in coaching.
I know that not everybody listening is a coach or wants to be a coach on your podcast.
But for me, coaching has changed the game. And I've had therapy too.
And therapy is very, very important.
(26:32):
I've had therapy quite a bit.
But I look at therapy and I look at coaching as two different things.
Like I look at therapy as kind of going present past and.
And I look at coaching going present forward, a future. I like that. Yeah.
And so, you know, and that's the kind of the difference there.
(26:52):
And so with the coaching, there's a little bit more, I think,
you know, because with the therapist, there's a little bit more of a,
they have to follow guidelines through insurance purposes and everything like that.
And which is a great thing. But with a coach, there's a little bit more wiggle
room. So there's a little bit more bluntness that can be done in the coaching
(27:15):
world, in my opinion, that can't be done in the other world.
And for me, and this is me personally, I thrive on that.
Because yes, I am a sensitive person, but I'm also able to take criticism.
So I can, I can handle the criticism. Yes, I am sensitive and maybe it might
bother me for a second, but then I can, I can,
(27:37):
I can go to perspective and go, I understand why this person is saying that
to me, because believe me, the person that I use for life coaching,
she will go at your throat.
Like she, she is, she is, she attacked or not, I shouldn't say attack you,
but she goes to the play around and I need that.
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it, I'll tell you, you know, A lot of times,
(27:59):
as clients, you can take a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
When you have those bad days, now I know you have coaches that help you,
and that's fantastic, two coaches.
I also have several coaches that help me get through things.
But what do you do when you're having a bad day?
Is everybody on this one? Yeah. And you're a mindset coach, so you would be
(28:19):
the right one to answer this question.
Yeah. For me, it's gratitude.
I think about what's going on well in my life right now. I start my day thinking about that.
You know how there's that period of time before you wake up,
you're conscious, but you're not.
I start thinking about everything that's going well in my life.
(28:42):
And just starts my day off on the right foot. But yeah, like things happen in
my day that could throw me off and getting back to it is gratitude.
But I will tell you this, that sometimes it's okay to be angry and it's okay
to be sad and it's okay to take time to lick your wounds, so to speak.
I think the worst thing you can do is like, oh, you know what?
(29:04):
False positive, I'm good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's okay if something
really upsets you or makes you angry to sit in those emotions for a moment and
get that out, or maybe longer than a moment, how long you need.
But there's going to be a time in your life where you're going to say,
okay, I don't want to be angry anymore. I don't want to be sad anymore.
(29:26):
And that's where you can change it by gratitude, what is going well in your life right now.
I know it sounds very simplistic and it kind of is, but it's very, very hard.
It's very, very hard, especially when you're in a in an angry or sad state to,
oh, nothing's good. You know, you, you have that flat mindset.
Yeah, nothing's going to be well, but that's when you need the gratitude the
(29:48):
most is when you're in that, that, that state of mind. Yeah. Yeah.
So my last question that I always ask guests is what is your favorite quote
or mantra or positive affirmation?
Cause I truly believe any, even one person hears this and it changes their,
their life in some positive way that it it was worth, you know,
(30:09):
listening to all of the podcasts. So what is that? What would you like to share?
Yes. And I don't know who said this quote. I don't know. Maybe it's a mixture
and I mix this around, but I love it because I say it all the time.
And it's, if you believe you will achieve, I firmly believe that your mind will
find a way to make things happen.
(30:30):
If you have what's called that growth mindset, acknowledging that there's problems,
but acknowledging that even though you You might not know the solution,
but acknowledging that you can find the solution. The solution's out there.
I know I can find it. And that will allow your mind to go to places that you
never thought possible.
But you've got to believe in yourself first.
(30:50):
So if you believe, you will achieve.
Yep. And that goes to, we have a mutual business coach, Jake Ballantyne.
And the first step is to believe.
It truly is to believe. So I second that.
I have belief to succeed. So it's basically the same thing, but yes, that is the first step.
The universe will help you get there and you'll figure out the steps afterwards.
(31:13):
You just have to believe that you can achieve it, like you said,
and that's the first step. That's wonderful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing.
So let's know, how can people get in touch with you?
Oh, the easiest way to get in touch with me is probably through my website.
And it's a call to action.coach.
I have, like you mentioned, my book. My book is on there. It's an ebook.
(31:34):
You can get it for free. Just click on it and you can have it.
And it's how I was able to rewrite my story and how you can rewrite your own story.
And also, I have a Facebook group that Lisa's involved with called Rewrite Your Story.
And we have meetup groups once a month. And I guess this month,
Lisa, you are going to be our featured speaker. So that's going to be kind of cool.
(31:54):
Yeah. Now this is, we're recording this in April of 2024.
So more than likely I may not be the one to speaker, but Rewrite Your Story
is an amazing Facebook group.
It's really one of the first ones that I ever joined. And it's such a great
group of people and so inspirational.
And that's because Coach Paul, you are very inspirational in all of your messaging
(32:15):
and you really listen to people and you show that it just takes believing in
yourself and having the courage to take that first step and then it can change your life.
So I want everybody to remember that you heard Paul here and you heard his story.
And so please feel free to give him a call.
And especially if you're in the Southern California area and you have a young
(32:36):
person, that's an athlete, they would really benefit by having coach Paul as their coach.
And you heard all about that. Well, thank you, Paul, for coming on with me and I loved it.
And I knew it would be fantastic because you're a friend of mind and I know
how inspirational you are.
So thank you for being on the Ladies Who Leap podcast.
Lisa, I'm honored that you asked me to go on this podcast. Like I said,
(32:59):
as I am a lad who leaps, but I don't take that lightly.
I know that you're very selective on the guests that you bring on.
So I really, really appreciate it.
I'm honored that you asked me. So thank you. Perfect. Everybody have a great day.
Thanks so much for listening or watching. Please subscribe to the Ladies Who
Leap podcast to be notified of new episodes and I would love to hear from you.
(33:24):
Let me know what works, what doesn't, and if you have a story to tell, please reach out.
Come join the Leap community at the Ladies Who Leap Club Facebook group.
Remember, leaping out of your comfort zone is where the growth happens.
Hi, I'm Lisa Andrea, Transformation Life Coach.
Welcome to the Ladies Who Leap podcast, where guests share their inspiring stories
of leaping out of their comfort zone, confidence and power, and into a life
of purpose and fulfillment.
Let's listen to their life-changing stories so that we can all learn how to
(00:22):
gain the courage to take a leap of faith into a life that we love so that we
can all be Ladies Who Leap. Let's get started.
Hello, and welcome to the Ladies Who Leap podcast. Today, I have a lad who leaps,
(00:43):
my friend, an inspirational person that I know you will enjoy listening to, Paul Fortune.
Paul was born with cerebral palsy, and it was so severe that the doctors told
his mom that he would never be able to walk.
Thank goodness for a wonderful mom and a great mindset.
That wasn't his story. He was able to overcome it and is able to live a very active life.
(01:06):
It wasn't easy, however, to get to that point. Today, as a mindset coach,
Paul shares his story with his clients to help them rewrite their own stories
to go after their true dreams and desires. Sires. Welcome, Paul.
Lisa, I'm so honored to be on your podcast, Ladies Who Leap.
Like you said, I'm a lad, so I'm touched that you bent the rules to have me, a lad, on your podcast.
(01:32):
Well, you're worth it, Paul. And I know that. So everyone who's listening,
it's worth listening to Paul as a lad.
And we want to help mostly women. I want to help be able to leap because unfortunately
Fortunately, as women, we do hit that obstacle quite often.
We can learn from everyone, and we know that. So that's why I've invited you.
Your story inspired you to write a book and a guide called How to Rewrite Your Story.
(01:57):
I shared how you were born with cerebral palsy. Your mom, with her superpowers
of positivity and hope, I call her the supermom, helped you create a life that
many doctors didn't think was possible.
Tell us how she guided you from birth to rewrite your story. Right.
When I was born, I wasn't moving the right side of my body very much.
And obviously my mom was very concerned about that.
(02:20):
So she took me to the doctors to see what was going on.
And that's where I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
And this first doctor thought the cerebral palsy was so severe that I would
never, ever be able to walk.
And it would be a good idea when I got to a certain age to get me in a wheelchair
because that was going to be my life going forward.
(02:40):
I've had many conversations with my mom about this Lisa and when she heard that
news naturally she was devastated like what was going to be the life for a baby
boy write herself to sleep that night you know and the pain of that that thought.
But when she got me ready for that next day, she said I gave her a look.
And I'm an infant. I can't speak at this point.
(03:01):
She said I gave her a look. If to say, mom, do not let this be my story. I want to walk.
And that mama bear inside of her started raging. So she got a second opinion,
a third opinion, fourth opinion, finally found a physician willing to help.
And with this physician's help and me doing physical therapy five to six times
a week, I was walking between age two and three, a feat that four of the doctors
(03:25):
said was impossible for me to do.
I was doing because of the work that I was putting in.
And obviously because my mom would not stop until that happened.
Wondering, do you still keep up or keep track with that doctor?
I mean, how has that doctor, I mean, to have that person actually say,
yes, this kid can do this. He had to have a pretty big impact on you guys.
(03:46):
Yeah. I should say doctor, I shouldn't make any Any assumptions? That was bad.
No, it is a he. It's Dr. Dernan.
He's still alive to this day. I haven't spoken to him in a long time,
but my mom, I think, saw him within the last five to 10 years.
(04:06):
And she went up to him and said, hey, do you remember me?
And he's like, of course I do. Of course I do, Terry. and they had a conversation. How's Paul doing?
And I mean, I haven't seen this. I mean, I'm 43.
I haven't seen him since I was probably three or four years old.
So I haven't seen him in that long, but he remembered me and he remembered my mom.
(04:30):
So it definitely made an impact on his life. So I was touched to hear that.
I know that part of your story is that you had a job for many years and then
you transitioned into being a coach.
How did you take that leap and where did you get the confidence and courage
to do that? What, tell us that story.
Well, can I go back before I got the job just to kind of give a little background on that?
(04:55):
So when I was walking, yes. I mean, that was a huge feat, but at that time in
my life, I couldn't walk very far. I could barely run.
So I was bullied and teased quite a bit in school. I remember.
Getting, my parents getting divorced and me going to a different school.
(05:15):
And at the time I walked with a little bit of a limp and I held my right arm differently.
And when I, when I got, when my parents got divorced, I was 12 or 13 years old.
So that's a tough age to switch schools at, right?
Because these kids are going through hormonal changes.
They've already formed their cliques. A lot of them have been going to school
(05:35):
with each other for years and years and years.
So already they don't have time for anybody new, but I'm a new kid who walks
with a little bit of a limp and holds his right arm differently.
So when I came to the school, I could not break in at all.
I was bullied, teased, spit on, tackled, you name it, they did it to me.
And I came from this old school mentality where you don't squeal,
(05:59):
you don't tail on anybody.
So I held this pain inside of me throughout my middle school career.
While this was going on, my mom raised me Catholic, so she wanted me to go to a Catholic high school.
So I had to take an assessment test to see where they were going to place me
when I got to high school.
Well, I must have bombed it because when I met with the principal and my mom,
(06:23):
the principal tells the both of us that she's going to put me at the lowest
level possible and she doesn't expect much from me. I don't seem like I'm going to be college material.
After one test, this principal says this to the both of us. So now I think I'm stupid.
I'm going back to a school that does not accept me. Bully. I have no friends.
(06:43):
I'm sitting alone most of the time in my room, crying myself to sleep going,
why me? Why do I have to go through this?
Why can't I just be like everybody else?
And Lisa, I don't know what came over me, but the start of eighth grade,
I was just sick and tired of feeling angry and sad all the time.
So I knew those weren't my go-to emotions, but because of the environment I
(07:06):
was in, those are the emotions that were coming up most of the time.
But I didn't want that anymore.
So I thought, what can I do to change that? And I thought, well,
what if I set a goal for myself, focused hard on this goal, and that will help
me ignore that noise that I was facing? And I thought, well, what can my goal be?
And at the time, I loved sports. I kind of pretended like these people were
(07:29):
my friends because I didn't have any friends.
I was a Dodger fan, so I felt like Mike Piazza and Eric Karros were my friends.
I felt like I was part of their team, and they would give me high fives when
they hit a home run or anything like that. So I love baseball.
So I thought, what if I try to make my varsity baseball team in high school?
So I started playing fall ball, winter ball, spring ball. And if I wasn't doing
(07:51):
that, I was throwing a tennis ball against the wall.
And while I'm going through this journey, I had this coach come to me and goes,
Paul, man, you play a lot of baseball.
What do you want to do with that? And at the time, I didn't want to tell him
that I wanted to make my varsity baseball team because I didn't want him to laugh at me.
So I just say, oh, you know, I just love playing baseball. I just want to play
(08:12):
baseball. He said, okay.
He kept asking me that question. He knew there was more to it than just that.
So he kept asking me that question. And one day he caught me in a weak moment
and I blurt out, I want to make my varsity baseball team. And I'm like, oh crap.
I can't believe I just said that.
And I'm bracing myself for him to laugh at me.
(08:34):
But he looked at me, pause for a second.
And he said, that's doable. I'm like, what? That is doable?
Yes, that is absolutely doable, Paul. But you have to have other people keep
you accountable for this. And I'm like, what the heck do you mean by that?
Other people keep me accountable? I don't know what that means.
And he goes, after practice tomorrow, you're going to go in front of that team
(08:56):
and tell the team that's your goal.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. These kids just started accepting me.
If I tell them something like that, they're going to start it laughing at me.
And he goes, Paul, there's going to be times in this journey where you're not going to feel it.
And you're going to need the push and the motivation from your teammates to
keep going. When things get tough, they need to know your goal.
(09:17):
So reluctantly I said, okay, I'll do it.
And after practice, I'm shaking and I tell the team my goal and they didn't laugh at me either.
Matter of fact, they clapped for me. And I know this now, I didn't know this
when I'm scrolling through this journey, but I started to have a different energy.
I started gaining more clarity in myself, my shoulders back, my head up.
(09:41):
And as a result of this new energy I was sending out towards these kids,
they started sending me a different energy back towards me.
Instead of bullying and teasing me, they started rooting for me.
I gained friendships that I did not have before, all because of how I carried
myself. And that alone is the win.
But the cherry on top was I was able to make my varsity baseball team as a junior and a senior.
In my senior year, I pitched a three-inch shutout. They poured the Gatorade
(10:05):
on me, and I felt so alive. I felt so good about myself.
And I graduate high school. So so we're going to stop for a second.
Yeah, please. That is a story of courage.
It was a supportive person, that coach who believed in you.
And then you just blurted it out, which you don't even realize was like an unconscious,
(10:25):
courageous act that had it.
You had it inside of you and you actually believed you could do it because there's
no way you would have blurted it out if you really didn't believe that you could
do it. So you believed enough in yourself. It took someone else to just get it out.
So you just took, like they say, just take the first step.
And that was the first step was saying, okay, I'm going to admit that I want to do this.
And you're going to, it's going to keep you accountable because you've told
(10:46):
everybody, which is exactly what people should do. If you want to go after a
dream, you need to tell people, I'm going after this dream, and that's going
to keep you accountable.
So, wow, at that young age, I did not have the courage at that young of an age
to do anything like that.
So I give you so much credit. That was amazing.
And you had a lot of an obstacle. You had a huge obstacle to overcome.
(11:08):
So then going from that, where you're now feeling confident,
you've got the courage, okay, what's the next step?
So I was sort of reflecting on that goal that I set because like I thought,
I was not going to make it.
But subconsciously, like you said, there was part of me that did.
But at the time, I wasn't thinking that way. But yeah, if I can reflect on it,
I probably was thinking the way you're saying.
(11:31):
But I thought, wow, I made this goal happen. So why can't I set another goal
for myself? See, all through high school, I mailed it in.
I just did enough to stay eligible for baseball because in the back of my mind,
I thought, well, I'm not college material.
I'm not smart enough to go to college. So why waste my time and do any extra
studying? Because that was not going to be my future.
(11:53):
So I spent all my time with the baseball and just doing enough.
So my grades weren't great. But I thought, man, if I could make this role a
reality, why can't I set another goal for myself to say that I am college material? material.
So I enrolled into a junior college because that was the only place that would accept me at the time.
I got myself a math tutor. I got myself an English tutor.
(12:14):
I went to the math lab. I did everything necessary to increase my grade point average.
And due to my hard work, I took my barely a 2.0, if not lower than that,
all the way to 3.5, where I was able to transfer to a four-year university and
become college material.
And I so wanted to go back to that principal and say, see, see,
you were wrong. I was college material.
(12:35):
But you know what? I thought about that quite a bit.
And I thought, you know what? I should thank her because all through college,
all I thought, all I had was her voice in my head said, I'm not college material.
And my next thought was, I'll show you I am college material.
So I probably hit the books harder because of that motivation.
So I forgive. And this goes back to your question on, you know,
(12:58):
I had another career before I got into coaching.
I'm 22, 23 years old. I have no life experience.
I have no idea what the heck I want to do with my life. I had a family friend
who was in the mortgage industry.
He was a CEO of a small bank. And he said, hey, we're hiring loan officers.
Would you like to be hired? I'm like, I got nothing going on. Let's do this.
(13:19):
So I'm kind of excited because it's my first time having what's,
quote unquote, an adult job. Because I had to wear business clothes to work.
And I had a briefcase. And I was just excited to start my career after college.
And when I get there, no one wants to speak to me.
I'm being shunned. I couldn't believe it. I'm like, what the heck is going on?
(13:42):
I'm sitting alone at lunch.
I haven't felt this way since middle school. Why won't these people talk to me?
And I quickly realized what the issue was. Word flew around that I knew the CEO of the company.
So it wasn't because of my talents. It's because of who I knew.
So they didn't think I belonged there. So they were going to chew me up and spit me out.
But I was determined to change that. that mindset.
(14:04):
So I went in there with a great work ethic. I didn't complain about the workload.
And from afar, because they didn't want to talk to me, I was observing what
the top loan officers did in the company.
And I'll never forget my first day of wanting to go out and get loans for the first time.
I had a stack of rate sheets and I was going out the door and my family friend,
(14:25):
CEO of Stochany goes, what are you doing?
I go, I'm ready to go. I'm going to go out and sell, out. Get loans.
And he looks at me and goes, no, no, you are not ready.
Let's get you some more training. Let's get you some more training for a few
more months. And then we'll send you out there.
And he's like, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I got this. Let me go.
(14:45):
And he's like, okay, okay, go, go.
And Lisa, he was absolutely right. I did way more training because I had no
idea what the heck I was doing.
I fell flat on my face left and right. These clients were abusing me.
I didn't know what I was saying, but months would go by and I started to realize what value I could add.
And I started bringing in loans and more loans and more loans.
(15:07):
And two years later, I became a top producer in this company.
And the people who didn't want to talk to me were now coming to me with questions
on how I was able to turn things around on a fast clip.
And I loved what I did. I was living for months.
I couldn't wait to get to work on Monday morning because I I just enjoyed what
I did because I drove around for work.
I was in LA. I was in Orange County. I was all over the place.
(15:28):
And I thought, wow, there's people in cubicles right now working.
And I get to drive around for work. I thought that was the greatest thing ever.
Then 2008, 2009 hit and the economy tanked it.
And that whole company went belly up. That whole bank went belly up.
And we all had to find different jobs.
(15:49):
And I had to do this three or four times because it was a tough time.
Because the companies were going belly up all the time and a
lot of the companies I was working for didn't have that same work
culture that I did when I when I first started I thought everybody
had this work culture I had no idea I was not versed at different cultures and
and some of these places I was not living for my knees anymore I was dreading
(16:10):
monies I had this Monday's where I a Sunday afternoon I stopped worrying of
having fun with my friends and family and I started worrying about the stresses
about Monday which is awful,
And it got to the point where I was just getting lost and I didn't know what
I wanted to do, but I was miserable at what I was doing.
And one of the last places I was working at, they brought in this motivational
(16:32):
speaker to motivate the team, to bring in more sales.
And I, at first I was like, I am an exceptional salesperson.
I don't need this motivation. I got this.
And while it was mandatory, so I had to go, but back of my mind,
I thought, you know what? if I have to go, I need to give it my full attention.
(16:55):
I need to be fully present.
I don't know what told me to do that, but I had this feeling that I needed to.
So I go in there with that open mind and the guy blew me away.
The guy was just next level, awesome, inspiring, wonderful. And I'm like, I got to talk to him.
I got to tell him how great of a job he did. And he was very, very gracious.
(17:18):
And he said he started as a life coach. I'm like, what the heck is that?
And he explained that to me. I'm like, you know what? Maybe you don't want to get into that.
So I was starting to tell people I wanted to get into coaching.
And people are humoring me and going, okay, life coach, go save the world.
But first bring a couple loans in, will you? So nobody was taking me seriously.
I started to get my website up. I started posting things on social media.
(17:41):
And the legal team that I was working with at the time got wind of that because
they They monitor your social media and everything else.
And I was very transparent with them. I said, you know, the mortgage industry
is my full-time job. And this is, you know, a part-time thing that I want to do.
And they're like, well, this could be a conflict of interest.
We'll get back to him. Like that doesn't sound good.
And they came back with this five page report of what I could and couldn't say.
(18:03):
And I looked at this report. I'm like, there's no way I'm going to make any
traction in the coaching world.
If I call this to the T for a year, I didn't do anything on the coaching.
Chain. I just did everything with mortgage.
I paid off all my debts. I actually even paid off my mortgage, my car, everything.
A year later, I just quit. People look at me like, you are nuts.
(18:24):
You just made President's Club. You just qualified yourself to go on the cruise and this and that.
You're a little burnt out right now. Once you get on the cruise and you come
back, you'll feel refreshed and you'll be fine. I'm like, no,
no, no, no. It's bigger than this. I got to go.
And they're like, all right, man, but you'll be back.
And Lisa, for a long time, I thought they were right because I was getting any
(18:46):
traction in the coaching world.
I'm delivering food. I'm doing odd jobs to make ends meet.
And, you know, I'm talking to people that I went to high school with,
I'm delivering them food and they're like, times must be tough.
And I didn't have time to tell them what was going on. So I just said,
okay, yeah, give them the food and go.
And I'm actually literally crawling in my car going, what am I doing?
(19:08):
I had this great career, I made great money, and now I'm doing this.
But I thought, you know what? Have I given it a go?
Have I given everything I got? Because I do not want to live with a regret.
I kept thinking the word regret in my head. And I thought, okay, well, let's go.
Am I playing coach or am I going to be a coach?
So I bit the bullet and I paid for a coach who was not cheap.
(19:33):
And I went hard. And I started to think about my messaging.
And I thought, how do I expect people to be vulnerable with me if I'm not vulnerable with them?
See, the story I told you about having cerebral palsy, I wanted to bury that
story because all through my life, all I wanted to do was fit in.
I didn't want to stand out. I just wanted to be like everybody else.
So the thought of me bringing that story up, I'd be in tears talking about it
(19:57):
because I just didn't want to go there.
But I thought, how am I expecting people to be vulnerable with me if I don't
share what's going on in my life?
So I started telling my story and it was shaky at first, but I kept telling
it over and over and again.
And I remember my first client ever said, Paul, I don't have cerebral palsy, but I've X, Y, and Z.
And I'd be honored if I could hire you as a coach. And we've been building coaching
(20:20):
clients, speaking gigs.
And now I'm here to talk with you. I mean, and it's interesting because you were almost.
Rust into having to take that leap of faith in yourself because the whole industry
went crazy and then you went from job to job to job and then you realize this is not right for me.
(20:41):
Because you had that first job, which was fantastic because it taught you a
lot, I'm sure, about how to deal with people, how to do sales,
how to talk to people, how to build relationships.
That's the important thing that it taught you. But then when things weren't
going as well, you had to go with your heart. and what you knew that you had
the ability to do and that you knew you could succeed and the fact that you got help.
(21:02):
So you were making yourself vulnerable to everyone else about what your story
was, but you were also making sure that you had support to be able to get you there.
So that means you wanna help others, but you also allow others to help you.
And that's a huge thing because not everybody has that ability either to allow
other people to help them.
(21:23):
So what you do with your, to help your clients, especially you deal with,
you work with a lot of young athletes, right?
You help them keep a positive mindset to achieve their goals.
What are, what are some of the things that you do with those clients and those,
especially the kids? I know you work with adults also, but the kids are really,
it's such a nice specialty that you have.
Yeah. One of the things that I work, like you mentioned, I work with a lot of
(21:45):
high school athletes and college athletes on the mind game there.
And one of the things that I realized with doing it early on was these kids
really didn't have a voice.
Their coaches are in their ear, their parents are on their ear,
their teammates are in their ear, and they don't have a space where they can
just have a voice and just express themselves.
(22:08):
So I think that's huge. One of the biggest things I do is I give the kids a
space, a nonjudgmental space where they can and share what's going on and say,
oh man, it's tough right now. It's hard.
And me being able to, oh, just suck it up.
You know, there's empathy there. I understand. I personally understand because
(22:29):
I was a high school athlete.
So I understand all that, what goes on with that.
But as far as my curriculum is concerned, that's huge. But my curriculum is
this, with these high school athletes is, I have them write out their goals.
I have them write out their goals in their sport, their short-term goals,
their long-term goals in their sport, their goals in their academics,
their goals outside of the sport.
(22:50):
And we go line by line on each one of those goals. And we come Come up with
an action plan for every single one of those goals.
And then we have accountability calls on how these goals are going.
Do we need a pivot? Do we need to change things?
I also go to their events. I route them on.
I want to see how they do, how they handle themselves in the pressure because
(23:10):
then I get an understanding of what's going on.
I think there's something magical about when you're watching people in person
and performing that there might be something I could pick up and help them with. And I do that.
That's huge, by the way. I just want to say, you know, you are going over and
beyond to helping these kids and going to their games on weekends.
(23:32):
You spend a lot of your time doing that. You really, that is over and beyond.
And I have to commend you for that. That's fantastic.
Yeah, because things that they're looking, you can see how they look,
you can see how they react.
There's a lot of things you can just basically write down and say,
okay, we're going to work on this for the next time.
Yeah. And there's a built-up trust with that when they see me live.
(23:53):
It's funny. I'm working with a newer client, right?
And I talk with them on the phone and everything like that.
And sometimes it's hard to gauge how they feel about – because the parents hire me.
So the parents are really, really gung-ho. And sometimes I have to get the kids on board there.
(24:14):
And I had this one client recently you know and I have had some conversations
he can express himself but I I felt you know an energy I'm like is this going
to work for this kid but then when I came to his event and went up to him he
had the biggest smile on his face and then I thought okay,
and and and so I really think that it's important for me to build that rapport
(24:37):
by going to to the event and build that trust with them. I think it's an extra level.
The adults, I don't need to do that as much because they're hiring me, right?
They're paying the money for me. So there's a little bit more of a motivation with them.
So it's a different program for them. But with the kids, I think I feel like
I'd have to go a little bit above and beyond to gain their trust,
(25:01):
to know that I'm there to help them.
I'm not there to make their life harder.
I want to make their job easier so they can go after their goals with more clarity.
Wow. Okay. So speaking of which, that means you are their support system.
Other than your super mom, which I like to call her, who else has kind of helped
(25:23):
you to get through number one, the bad days and give you support like that?
Coaching, like you and I are coaches. So, and I know you believe in this too,
because we've had a lot of conversations with this, but I feel if you,
if you're a coach and you truly believe in coaching, you should have coaches
for yourself to keep you accountable.
And I have that. I actually have a business coach that I currently work with.
(25:47):
And then off and on, I have a life coach that I work with on personal things.
I kind of go off and on just depending on what's been going on in my life.
But I have this person, I still keep in touch with them.
I don't currently work with her right now, but I do when I need help.
I normally work with her three or four times a year to help me through some stuff.
(26:09):
But I have two coaches for myself that I pay for.
And I think it's extremely important if you believe in coaching.
I know that not everybody listening is a coach or wants to be a coach on your podcast.
But for me, coaching has changed the game. And I've had therapy too.
And therapy is very, very important.
(26:32):
I've had therapy quite a bit.
But I look at therapy and I look at coaching as two different things.
Like I look at therapy as kind of going present past and.
And I look at coaching going present forward, a future. I like that. Yeah.
And so, you know, and that's the kind of the difference there.
(26:52):
And so with the coaching, there's a little bit more, I think,
you know, because with the therapist, there's a little bit more of a,
they have to follow guidelines through insurance purposes and everything like that.
And which is a great thing. But with a coach, there's a little bit more wiggle
room. So there's a little bit more bluntness that can be done in the coaching
(27:15):
world, in my opinion, that can't be done in the other world.
And for me, and this is me personally, I thrive on that.
Because yes, I am a sensitive person, but I'm also able to take criticism.
So I can, I can handle the criticism. Yes, I am sensitive and maybe it might
bother me for a second, but then I can, I can,
(27:37):
I can go to perspective and go, I understand why this person is saying that
to me, because believe me, the person that I use for life coaching,
she will go at your throat.
Like she, she is, she is, she attacked or not, I shouldn't say attack you,
but she goes to the play around and I need that.
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it, I'll tell you, you know, A lot of times,
(27:59):
as clients, you can take a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
When you have those bad days, now I know you have coaches that help you,
and that's fantastic, two coaches.
I also have several coaches that help me get through things.
But what do you do when you're having a bad day?
Is everybody on this one? Yeah. And you're a mindset coach, so you would be
(28:19):
the right one to answer this question.
Yeah. For me, it's gratitude.
I think about what's going on well in my life right now. I start my day thinking about that.
You know how there's that period of time before you wake up,
you're conscious, but you're not.
I start thinking about everything that's going well in my life.
(28:42):
And just starts my day off on the right foot. But yeah, like things happen in
my day that could throw me off and getting back to it is gratitude.
But I will tell you this, that sometimes it's okay to be angry and it's okay
to be sad and it's okay to take time to lick your wounds, so to speak.
I think the worst thing you can do is like, oh, you know what?
(29:04):
False positive, I'm good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's okay if something
really upsets you or makes you angry to sit in those emotions for a moment and
get that out, or maybe longer than a moment, how long you need.
But there's going to be a time in your life where you're going to say,
okay, I don't want to be angry anymore. I don't want to be sad anymore.
(29:26):
And that's where you can change it by gratitude, what is going well in your life right now.
I know it sounds very simplistic and it kind of is, but it's very, very hard.
It's very, very hard, especially when you're in a in an angry or sad state to,
oh, nothing's good. You know, you, you have that flat mindset.
Yeah, nothing's going to be well, but that's when you need the gratitude the
(29:48):
most is when you're in that, that, that state of mind. Yeah. Yeah.
So my last question that I always ask guests is what is your favorite quote
or mantra or positive affirmation?
Cause I truly believe any, even one person hears this and it changes their,
their life in some positive way that it it was worth, you know,
(30:09):
listening to all of the podcasts. So what is that? What would you like to share?
Yes. And I don't know who said this quote. I don't know. Maybe it's a mixture
and I mix this around, but I love it because I say it all the time.
And it's, if you believe you will achieve, I firmly believe that your mind will
find a way to make things happen.
(30:30):
If you have what's called that growth mindset, acknowledging that there's problems,
but acknowledging that even though you You might not know the solution,
but acknowledging that you can find the solution. The solution's out there.
I know I can find it. And that will allow your mind to go to places that you
never thought possible.
But you've got to believe in yourself first.
(30:50):
So if you believe, you will achieve.
Yep. And that goes to, we have a mutual business coach, Jake Ballantyne.
And the first step is to believe.
It truly is to believe. So I second that.
I have belief to succeed. So it's basically the same thing, but yes, that is the first step.
The universe will help you get there and you'll figure out the steps afterwards.
(31:13):
You just have to believe that you can achieve it, like you said,
and that's the first step. That's wonderful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing.
So let's know, how can people get in touch with you?
Oh, the easiest way to get in touch with me is probably through my website.
And it's a call to action.coach.
I have, like you mentioned, my book. My book is on there. It's an ebook.
(31:34):
You can get it for free. Just click on it and you can have it.
And it's how I was able to rewrite my story and how you can rewrite your own story.
And also, I have a Facebook group that Lisa's involved with called Rewrite Your Story.
And we have meetup groups once a month. And I guess this month,
Lisa, you are going to be our featured speaker. So that's going to be kind of cool.
(31:54):
Yeah. Now this is, we're recording this in April of 2024.
So more than likely I may not be the one to speaker, but Rewrite Your Story
is an amazing Facebook group.
It's really one of the first ones that I ever joined. And it's such a great
group of people and so inspirational.
And that's because Coach Paul, you are very inspirational in all of your messaging
(32:15):
and you really listen to people and you show that it just takes believing in
yourself and having the courage to take that first step and then it can change your life.
So I want everybody to remember that you heard Paul here and you heard his story.
And so please feel free to give him a call.
And especially if you're in the Southern California area and you have a young
(32:36):
person, that's an athlete, they would really benefit by having coach Paul as their coach.
And you heard all about that. Well, thank you, Paul, for coming on with me and I loved it.
And I knew it would be fantastic because you're a friend of mind and I know
how inspirational you are.
So thank you for being on the Ladies Who Leap podcast.
Lisa, I'm honored that you asked me to go on this podcast. Like I said,
(32:59):
as I am a lad who leaps, but I don't take that lightly.
I know that you're very selective on the guests that you bring on.
So I really, really appreciate it.
I'm honored that you asked me. So thank you. Perfect. Everybody have a great day.
Thanks so much for listening or watching. Please subscribe to the Ladies Who
Leap podcast to be notified of new episodes and I would love to hear from you.
(33:24):
Let me know what works, what doesn't, and if you have a story to tell, please reach out.
Come join the Leap community at the Ladies Who Leap Club Facebook group.
Remember, leaping out of your comfort zone is where the growth happens.
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