Episode 88: Why Authentic Leadership Feels Risky

Hey, Friend!

Authenticity in leadership is one of those buzzwords that everyone loves to praise—until they see what it really costs.

We’re told: “Be an authentic leader.” But no one tells us how risky it feels.

Because true authenticity isn’t about oversharing, being liked, or saying whatever’s on your mind. It’s about:

• Admitting you were wrong—fully.

• Holding to your values when it costs you.

• Saying the hard truth when it would be easier to stay quiet.

• Choosing trust over approval.

That doesn’t always feel comfortable. In fact, it often feels lonely.

But here’s the reward: authenticity builds trust, not just popularity. And trust is what endures.

I unpack all of this in my latest podcast episode: “Why Authentic Leadership Feels Risky.”

Because the next time you’re tempted to polish, perform, or self-protect, you may find that the most powerful thing you can do is simply be real.

I pray this blesses you,

Becky

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
We're going to lean into a leadership topic that gets talked about a lot, but it's often

(00:06):
misunderstood in practice.
Authentic leadership.
Everybody loves the idea of authenticity.
It's one of those leadership buzzwords that shows up in conference talks and books and
performance reviews.
We want authentic leaders.
Sounds good, right?
But here's the reality.

(00:27):
In leadership, authenticity is often praised and rarely tolerated.
And today we're going to unpack why.
We'll talk about what leaders often think authenticity means, but what it actually is.
The risks of practicing it and the rewards that make it worth it.
And by the end of this episode, I hope you'll not only have a clearer picture of authentic

(00:48):
leadership, but also the courage to walk it out, especially when it feels costly.
Want to know more?
Let's dive in today's episode.
Hey, friend, are you a people-pleasing conflict-avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?

(01:09):
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time without sacrificing your family or self-care?
Welcome to leadership becomes her.
I'm Becky Burroughs, your host and a minister and life and leadership coach with over 50 years

(01:30):
experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
So when you think of authentic leadership, what comes to mind?

(01:59):
I mean, a lot of leaders assume authenticity means things like just be yourself.
You know, be who you are.
Say whatever's on your mind.
Admit your flaws and people will like you for being relatable.
Admit when you're anxious and people will relate to you on that level.
And at first glance, that sounds right.

(02:19):
It sounds freeing.
Just show up, say what you feel.
Don't worry too much about polish and people will respect you for being real.
But here's the catch.
Sometimes what gets labeled as authenticity is really just unfiltered emotion or oversharing

(02:40):
or even an excuse to avoid growth.
But authenticity is not dumping every thought on your team, unfiltered.
It's not using that, hey, this is just who I am as a reason not to improve.
It is not being raw for raw, rawness is sake.

(03:01):
That kind of authenticity creates chaos, not clarity.
What authentic leadership really is.
Here's what it looks like.
Doing the hard thing even when you're afraid.
Admitting that you were wrong and fully owning it.
Living your values when it costs you something.

(03:23):
Choosing trust over short term approval.
Saying, I don't know, with calm and confidence.
Staying grounded in the middle of chaos.
Protecting trust when no one's looking.
And being okay with being misunderstood if it means standing in your integrity.

(03:46):
Notice how much harder that list feels.
Authentic leadership is not about comfort.
Authentic leadership is about courage with humility.
It's about being rooted enough in your values that you can show up consistently even when
it costs you.

(04:06):
So let's talk about why this feels so hard.
Because here's the truth.
Authenticity sounds inspiring on paper, but it feels risky in practice.
Think about what actually happens when you admit uncertainty in front of your team.
If you're standing in front of the team and they ask you a question and you say, I don't

(04:28):
know.
I mean, some people don't know what to do with that, but you could follow it with, but
I'm going to find out or I will talk to someone who does know.
How about when you tell your stakeholders or your board or your elder something they don't
want to hear something that's even really hard to say and then you just sit in the silence

(04:54):
that follows?
That's authentic, but it's uncomfortable and it takes practice to be able to do that.
How about when you choose long term trust over short term wins?
You know, leadership is not about amassing a bunch of followers.
Leadership is about influence.

(05:14):
Leadership is about developing those under your leadership.
Leadership is a long game.
A leader is looking way into the future and making decisions now that align with goals
and objectives for the future.
How about when you say notice something that could make you popular because it compromises

(05:36):
your principles?
I think it's so important for a leader to really know, be able to name what matters to
them, what their top values are.
And sometimes when we are dissatisfied with our lives, we tend to think it's, well, it's

(05:56):
because I'm in a, I have a bad job.
I don't like or they don't appreciate me or I'm in a bad marriage.
It's died or something that I need to escape from when in reality, sometimes we are dissatisfied
on the inside because we are not honoring our own value system.

(06:17):
We are not living into our own integrity.
We are not holding firm to our principles.
And when people, some people are inclined to be people, pleasers.
If you, if people pleasing is important to you, then I'm going to wonder how important it
is to you to please God because you can't really do both.

(06:38):
I'm also going to wonder if it's a challenge for you to live into your value system because
sometimes you can't do both.
And being authentic in this way doesn't feel glamorous.
It feels vulnerable and sometimes it's quite lonely because authenticity will make some
people pull away.
Everyone is going to like it when you lead from your true values.

(07:00):
In fact, some might even resent it.
And that's where a lot of leaders pull back because it feels safer to keep the approval
of the crowd than to walk that, that harder road of trust and integrity.
So why keep going?
Why lean into authenticity even when it's costly?
Because the ones who stay, the team members, the colleagues, the friends who remain after

(07:23):
you have led with truth.
Those are the people who believe in you, not just your title.
They don't just follow your position.
They trust you and they trust your character.
Authenticity creates a depth of trust, not just this shallow breadth of likeability.
And here's the leadership paradox.

(07:44):
You don't have to be raw all the time, but you do have to be real every time.
That consistency that's showing up with integrity over time is what builds credibility that cannot
be shaken even when the world around you is chaotic.
So let's get practical.
What does this look like in everyday leadership?

(08:06):
Here are a few small but powerful examples.
In a meeting instead of pretending you know the answer, you calmly say, "I don't know,
but I'll see if I can find out."
And then you follow up.
When you mess up, don't spin it or minimize it, but simply say, "That was my mistake."

(08:26):
Here's what I'm going to do differently next time.
When you're tempted to take a shortcut that no one would ever know about, you choose instead
to protect the trust that people have in you.
When things are chaotic and everyone else is spiraling and you ground yourself and say,
"I know this feels uncertain, but here's what we do know and here's how we're going to

(08:51):
move forward."
People need their leaders to be a non-anxious presence.
I once had a minister say to me during the pandemic when there was so much tension and uncertainty
and fear in the air and this minister would express her fears to the people she was serving

(09:15):
and she was admonished to find another avenue for expressing her anxiety, but to the people
who are looking to her for leadership she needs to present as a non-anxious presence.
And she said, "No, I don't agree.
I think that when I show my anxiety, I show I'm relatable."

(09:36):
I'm just going to let that sink in for a moment.
The problem with that way of thinking is that a leader forgets they're not one of the
girls, they're not one of the people, they're a leader, they're in a different position and
more is expected.

(09:57):
And I am not at all suggesting that leaders don't have anxiety, we do.
But we need to find an outlet outside of the group that we are supposed to be leading
in order to express that anxiety so that we can present as a non-anxious presence to calm
the fears and concerns with the people who look to us to lead.

(10:21):
And sometimes the easiest choice is to go along with the crowd instead of having the courage
to challenge up or hold the line on values.
Now, these are not always big dramatic moments.
Often authenticity is forged in the small, daily decisions that shape your credibility.
So let's bring this all together.

(10:42):
Authentic leadership is praised in theory, but it is costly in practice.
It's not about oversharing or being liked, it's about being trusted, being consistent,
and being grounded in your values even when it feels risky.
And here's the hard truth.
Authenticity will cost you some approval.
But it will earn you something far more valuable, deep, trust, and enduring credibility.

(11:08):
So the next time you feel the temptation to perform or polish or self-protect, pause,
and ask yourself, what would it look like to be authentic here?
What would it look like to lead with integrity even if it feels costly?
Because that choice over and over again?

(11:29):
Well, that's what sets apart leaders who are liked for a moment from leaders who are trusted
for a lifetime.
If this episode encouraged you, please share it with another leader who's navigating the
same challenges and don't forget to subscribe so you won't miss the next conversation.
Until next time, remember you don't have to be raw all the time, but you do have to be

(11:50):
real every time.
Hey, let's do this again next week.
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you, or made you think.
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

(12:12):
Send me a DM or email me at [e-mail].
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop, or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, your long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.

(12:34):
We'll talk soon.
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