Episode 92: Feeling Valued in Ministry: Reclaiming Your Worth in Ministry - Part 2

Hey, Friend!

Today’s episode is part 2 of our series: Feeling Valued in Ministry: A Journey Toward Wholeness. This one is entitled: Reclaiming Your Worth in Ministry, because sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t have value - it’s that we have handed it to people who were never meant to hold it,.

Reclaiming your value means calling it back home - to your identity in Christ, not your identity in titles, roles, or responsibilities.

I pray this blesses you,

Becky

Episode Transcript

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Today's episode is part two of our mini-series "Feeling Valued in Ministry" - a journey toward

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wholeness.
In the last episode, I talked about the ache of not feeling valued, that exhaustion that
comes from giving your absolute best and still wondering if you're enough.
Today we're moving from awareness to reclaiming.
I've entitled this episode reclaiming your worth in ministry because sometimes the problem

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isn't that we don't have value.
It's that we have handed our value to people who were never meant to hold it.
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey friend, are you a people-pleasing conflict-avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?

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Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time without sacrificing your family or self-care?
Welcome to Leadership BecomesHer.
I'm Becky Burroughs, your host and a minister and life and leadership coach with over 50

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years experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.

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So I got the idea to do this mini-series that I have entitled "Feeling Valued in Ministry."
A journey toward wholeness.
I got the idea for it because in early October I had two episodes about value.

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Episode 86, what it takes for a minister to feel valued, and episode 87, why many women
in ministry don't feel valued.
And those two episodes overwhelmingly had more downloads and more listeners than any other
episode I've had since I started this podcast.

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They struck a nerve.
And I realized, okay, so the question of value is not just my question.
It's not just the question of every single woman I have coached, every woman I have worked
with.
It could be universal.
And so I decided to do this mini-series because I wanted to settle where our value actually

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comes from.
Our value is found in Christ, in Christ alone as he says in Scripture.
But also why do we give our value to other people to decide?
And what can we do to reclaim the value that God has given us?
And so that's actually what I'm calling today's episode, reclaiming your worth in ministry.

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Now here's the quiet truth.
Many of us start in ministry full of excitement, full of purpose and passion.
We know that God has called us to this important work.
But over time, we begin to measure our worth by others, by how others respond, who notices,

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who affirms me, who invites me to the table, who allows me to use my voice, who allows
me to live into this calling that God has called upon my heart, who allows me to use the gifts
that God has given me.

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And it's subtle.
We don't wake up one morning and announce to the world, "I feel like I'm outsourcing my
worth."
But our hearts start whispering things like, "Well, I wish they would include me.
I wish they would ask me.
I wish they would invite me to the conversation."

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Friend, your worth was settled before anyone introduced you or invited you or titled you
or even overlooked you.
Isaiah 43, one says, "Fear not for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name.
You are mine."

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And that is where worth begins.
And recliving it means calling it back home to your identity in Christ, not to your identity
in a ministry role or quite frankly in any other role that you have.
Roles come and go.

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Your role as a wife perhaps will end either when you die or your husband dies.
Or you get divorced.
Your role as a parent who is responsible for keeping those children alive and well fed
and teaching them all the things you need to teach them, that will end when they all move

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out of the home and they become adults.
Your role in whatever job you have will end the day you're fired, laid off, quit or retire.
Every role that you currently have has an end date.
And the beautiful thing about your value being in Christ is that God literally loved you

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into existence from the moment you were conceived, you were his.
You were loved already.
You didn't have to have a single bit of education.
You didn't have to have a role or a title or a responsibility to be Gods, to be loved
and approved by God.
Everything else is just icing on the cake.

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It has an end date.
It comes and it goes.
It ebbs and it flows.
It means the world to you and then it poof, it's gone.
And for those of us who are advanced in age, we've seen it happen.
We have experienced it.
We have felt it.
We know it's all temporary.
And when I placed my entire identity, which I was guilty of doing at a younger age,

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I placed my entire identity on the titles I wore and the roles I filled and the responsibilities
I had.
And when one by one those were stripped away, I had an identity crisis.
And I don't want that for you.
So if you get nothing else out of this episode, get this, your identity was established when

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you were born.
And when God decided what you were going to look like and what your personality was going
to look be like, he also decided how he was going to uniquely gift you.
And some of those gifts are for your lifetime.
And other gifts are for a season.
And when the season is over, they'll be replaced by other gifts.

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It's your responsibility to figure out what those gifts are and what is God calling you
to do with those gifts in this particular season of your life.
And then do it with reckless abandon.
Give it all your passion and all your excitement because you are being obedient to God's call.

(07:50):
So if you're wondering, if you might need to reclaim your worth, here are some signs
that you might have misplaced your worth.
Number one, if you overwork to prove yourself.
You might be thinking, if I do just a little bit more, they're going to see that I'm valuable.
Now I've been very guilty of this and I call it overfunctioning.

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I have this tendency, if I'm not careful, I have a tendency to overfunction in times
of crises.
I think, oh, this person's suffering, I'll take on their load because I can handle it and
that will relieve them and then they can work through what they're dealing with.
Or so and so is not happy.
So I'm going to overfunction in order to so that they will be happy and I found myself

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taking on the responsibility of what's going on in other people's lives and my solution
was for me to overwork.
That was my reasoning.
But other people have other reasons for overworking.
They're trying to prove themselves.
They're trying to prove their value.
I have worked with people who take great care that they are the only ones who know how to

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do what they do because they think that means job security.
When in reality it's just evidence of a broken system because in a work situation it is
healthy, a healthy organization, cross-trains so that no one of us is indispensable.
That's not healthy for the system, for the system to die when one person dies or leaves

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or quits or whatever.
And so but sometimes we tell ourselves that if I'm the only one who knows how to do this
then I'm indispensable and it makes me feel valued.
Number two, you minimize your gifts.
You say, "Oh, when somebody compliments you.
Oh, it's nothing."
No, it's easy.

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Anybody could do it.
A monkey could do it.
I've heard that before.
Any monkey could do it.
When actually it's something sacred.
No, it's not something that a trained animal can do.
It's a gift that you've been given and you need to own that gift.
Or number three, you take every lack of recognition personally.

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You interpret silence as rejection instead of redirection.
By the way that was my alarm telling me I need to be done but I got to keep going.
To interpret silence as rejection instead of redirection instead of the person thinking
about how they're going to respond.

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And if that sounds familiar, pause and ask yourself, "Who have I given permission to
determine my worth?"
Because here's the truth.
You cannot lead freely when your worth depends on being noticed.
So here's what reclaiming looks like.
Knowing your worth is not prideful.

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It is peaceful.
It looks like saying yes.
Saying yes because you've been called, not because you've finally been invited.
And I don't mean called by individuals called by God.
God has given you permission.
So act within that permission.
You've already been given permission.
So do the work.

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Don't wait to be invited.
All right, could be saying no because your value is not up for debate.
Showing up in confidence that your contribution matters even when no one claps.
You are not a backup plan in God's kingdom.
You are His intentional design for this moment in history.

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So here's our simple reflection exercise this week.
If you listen to my episodes on a regular basis, you know how much I believe in personal
reflection.
I want you to write down three truths about who you are in Christ, not based on what you
do.
For example, I am chosen.
I am equipped.

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I am gifted.
I am a value.
I have value apart from my role.
And then pray this, Lord, remind me that my value is not up for discussion.
It is already declared.
Today's episode spoke to you.
Share it with another woman who is questioning her worth in ministry.

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Next week, we're going to talk about communicating your value without apology, how to lead and
speak up with confidence and grace.
Until then, remember, you are not waiting to be valued.
You already are.
Hey, let's do this again next week.

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It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you, or made you think.
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at [e-mail].

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If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, year-long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
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