May 20, 2025 • 42 mins
Ready to elevate your leadership game? In this episode, Louie Sharp sits down with Shauntel Murphy, a powerhouse executive coach and author of Influence Yourself in Leadership & Life. With over two decades of corporate experience, Shauntel offers expert insights on bold leadership, achieving balance between wellness and ambition, and building sustainable influence for long-term impact.
She breaks down her GOAL framework—Galvanize vision, Optimize influence, Align actions, and Leverage legacy—helping leaders gain clarity, build strong networks, and create a lasting legacy. Join this dynamic conversation packed with actionable insights. Discover the power of mindfulness in leadership, the importance of compassion and self-grace, and how reverse mentorship fosters innovation.
💡 Ready to take the lead in your own life? Grab your copy of "Influence Yourself in Leadership & Life" and start the journey toward personal transformation and empowered decision-making. 👉 https://lnkd.in/gT2mk_YB
Louie’s Leadership & Love Nugs (podcast time stamps)
🔹 Identify negative influences & avoid fear-based decisions (3:20) 🔹 True leadership starts with compassion—make teams feel valued! (9:22) 🔹 Use reverse mentorship to bridge generational gaps & drive innovation (18:46)
#Mindset #InfluenceYourself #ReverseMentoring #SelfAwareness #LeadFromWithin #ShauntelMurphy #LeadershipandLove #thegiftedleader #LouieSharp #Podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What's the biggest thing you can share with them to have
(00:02):
influence as fast and easy as possible?
Be mindful about what is coming at you.
What is your personal desire?
A personal desire, that outweighs a goal by far.
So, I ask them to dig deep into their desires.
If that desire is just gonna keep you on fire forever.
Compassion, it's another art of love.
(00:24):
When are you spending that love in the boardroom?
When are you spending that love with your team?
Really, you can't loop.
When you have different individuals sitting at a table and
you have a problem, you're gonna get it solved in no time.
When you open your heart to be a student to everybody and
let that ego go, powerful things come.
(00:46):
What's one of the things that you share with leaders that
helps them learn to love and like themselves?
People tend to only say grace before they eat their food.
That's great.
I want you to extend grace before that.
Give yourself some grace when you wake up in the morning.
Give yourself some grace when it's lunchtime.
What's something that you share with leaders when they've
made a mistake or they've done something wrong?
(01:07):
How do they go back to their team and kind of clean it up?
Welcome to the Leadership and Love Podcast.
We will cover leadership, mindset, personal development,
and sales and marketing.
You'll experience thought-provoking conversations with both
nationally and internationally recognized leaders.
Our goal is to inspire you and deliver actionable items
(01:31):
that you can implement that will help you accelerate your
growth.
Get ready to discover the magic and the power when you lead
with love.
Welcome back everybody to another amazing episode of
Leadership and Love.
I'm actually very excited because I've got Shauntel here
coming to us from San Francisco, California.
(01:53):
So Shauntel is the author of Influence Yourself,
a book that she just showed me.
She's the author of Influence Yourself in Leadership and
Life,
a sought-after global leadership speaker and executive
coach specialized in the art of a bold leader and the
leader who balances wellness and hustle with over two
decades of experience in the corporate world and close to
(02:15):
20 coaching certifications.
That's a lot of certifications.
It's a lot of studying,
a lot of tests. Shauntel brings unmatched expertise and a
fresh perspective to leadership and workforce development.
She's got a really bold mission,
and I'm going to let her talk about that as well as
storytelling.
One of the things I love about Shauntel is she's so well
-rounded.
(02:35):
She's got all this experience and learning,
but she's also got real-world experience as well as being
an author and a coach.
She's also a speaker.
So Shauntel, thanks for joining us today.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's really a pleasure to be here.
I'm excited. So you and I have similar passions around this
leadership thing. So we have two passions about...
(02:56):
I love the influence, you know,
leaders... As leaders we want to be influential, and also,
one of the things I like to share with people is everything
can be systematized or put in a process, a
nd you have a framework . So,
I'd like to start with what's the thing that you share
with leaders,
the biggest thing you can share with them to have influence
as fast and easy as possible?
(03:20):
One of the things that I ask them to do is to take notes on
some of the influences that they're not even aware of.
We have so many things that are externally influencing us,
and we may not even be aware of these things.
Is it your family, your community, politics, economics?
Is it social media?
So I like to have them just dissect what things are
(03:42):
actually influencing them.
And then to put in another chamber,
what are the bad influences?
Cause not all influences are bad.
We have some that are good influences.
So I want them to really be more mindful and take heed to
the things that are influencing them in a good way,
opposed to the negative influences.
(04:03):
And then to really become well-centered within themselves
so that they're not being influenced more like they're now
actually being the influencer where they're the ones that...
Oh, oh, oh...Stop, I'm sorry,
I gotta interrupt you. That was a golden...
she just dropped a golden nugget.
I mean, that was a brick, a gold brick.
Will you please say that again?
Yeah, absolutely.
(04:24):
Just be mindful about what is coming at you.
Be mindful about if you're listening to the radio,
if it's social media, if it's the community, if it is,
per se, economics.
Be aware of that, because some of those things,
you're getting drug into other people's hysteria.
(04:47):
You're getting drug into other people's fears.
And that may not be you.
You may not really have to take on that element.
So like I said, put it down into different chambers.
What are you being influenced by?
Is this a good influence or a negative influence?
And if it's negative,
let's drop those negative influences immediately.
(05:07):
That way, you're able to get rid of that baggage.
Amen.
Amen, sister.
I couldn't agree more.
And one of the things I'll say to our listeners,
so this is on fire already.
This is going to be a great conversation.
And one of the things that Shauntel was talking about the
news is one of those bigger influencers, right?
We turn on the news, and the news is always, you know,
(05:29):
they say if it bleeds, it leads, right?
So nothing positive is ever coming on the news.
So that's..
.
Thanks for sharing that great wisdom right off the bat.
So you talked about a framework, and I'm really excited.
You're the first person that I've actually interviewed
that's approached me for my podcast.
Everybody up till now has been somebody that's in my
network.
So I'm really humbled and honored that you're on the call
(05:51):
today.
And I'd like you to talk about your framework of how you
help leaders build this influence.
Yeah,
one of the things of it is is that when I do do my one on
one coaching, I work with a lot of executives,
and they always tell me, this is my goal.
And it's like,
I have a goal to wash my clothes later on tonight,
I have a goal to cook dinner.
(06:12):
But what is your personal desire,
a personal desire that outweighs a goal by far.
So I ask them to dig deep into their desires.
Once they're able to do that,
then I share with them my goal framework.
So the goal framework, it works like this, the "G",
that's to galvanize your vision,
(06:34):
our vision that serves as our North Star.
So as we're moving to that vision,
I want to know why you're moving towards that vision.
So I ask the leaders to write out a one sentence,
why they're moving that big bang one, that one liner,
big bang, and that serves as their leadership manifesto.
Then within that, I reverse engineer their success,
(06:55):
breaking it down from five years now to 12 months.
And I tell them to communicate this relentlessly. The "O",
that's to optimize your influence, leadership is impact.
So I tell them to map out your network. Who are your
allies? Your decision makers? Your mentors? And then for
them to have relationships that are driven by meaning. We
(07:19):
want to have meaningful relationships with these people.
And we can do that through EQ, our soft skills.
And then "A" that's for aligned actions,
I want to make sure you're putting your energy into the
right components.
And how can we track that?
I have them audit their time.
So audit your work week, audit your work month,
and see what is actually being able to help you pivot
(07:42):
towards your goals and what's not,
and then tweak your schedule.
And then last but not least is the "L". The L that's for
leverage your legacy.
What is a legacy? It's the people and the systems that we
put in place because those systems are going to outlast
you.
So let's face it,
the ultimate form of our legacy is success.
(08:04):
It's the success that we have,
how can you definitely have this success?
I put it into three pillars. You want to mentor future
leaders. You want to be able to document your progress.
And then last but not least,
you want to be able to celebrate your success.
So overall, the GOAL framework,
it ensures that the leader's desires are met,
(08:26):
and then multiply by the people and the systems that they
put in place.
That's great stuff.
I love...
I love that you have such a clear system and that it's been
so successful for you.
One of the things I think is so fascinating is as a fellow
speaker, you know I'm often called a motivational speaker,
and I'm not a fan of that. You know people hang that on us.
(08:48):
They do they hang it on us, but I tell people you know, b
oth of us could walk into a room and motivate somebody. But
my desire is to touch their heart so they're inspired. B
ecause if they're inspired then they're going to find their
own fire and passion Much like you said,
what's their why? That's what's inspiring them.
I love that you help leaders get such clarity on that.
(09:10):
If you had some advice for our listener Shauntel,
what would you like to share with them around their why? H
ow do you help leaders get clear on their why,
their passion?
I help leaders to get clear on this is because the why
that's going to be our driving force.
So I have them write down what their why is.
(09:31):
Usually it's something generic.
And then I ask them again.
And then they write something a little bit less generic and
as a little bit more meaningful.
And then I ask them why again.
And they're like, why are you asking me this?
And then they write it down a third time.
And by the time they write it down a third time,
(09:51):
now it's more heartfelt.
It's more something that's really intuitive to them.
And it really has been embedded into their desires.
So when you desire something, that burning desire,
that's going to keep you going.
Sometimes we need motivation Monday through Friday,
but that desire is just going to keep you on fire forever.
(10:14):
Amen, you know,
you're you're right. You're just touching my heart here
because I'm sincere because it's one of those things.
I Love the the Toyota way.
I learned the five whys, right?
Why? You ask why five times. That drives down to the heart
of the matter, and I love that you touched your heart.
Because I think that's my goal is to have leaders
(10:34):
understand that when you come from your heart, e
verybody wins. And, when you come from your heart,
you don't burn out, r
ight? Because you keeping everything in balance.
What's one of the things that you've seen over the years
that you'd like to share with our listeners that would help
them keep that balance in their leadership,
but stay tied to their heart?
(10:56):
Definitely one thing that I've seen kind of fade away
throughout this recent transition is compassion.
People, leaders are not leading with compassion.
They're leading with initiatives.
They're leading with getting down to that bottom number,
that bottom line.
But what about the frontline people?
You always hear it so many times.
I just heard a leader say this the other day (11:16):
leave your
problems at the door.
When you come in here, I want you to be focused on work.
That's impossible.
Who's able to leave their problems at the door?
It's just not realistic.
But when you have compassion, you're able to say,
come to work.
We appreciate you being here.
(11:38):
And hopefully during your break or your lunchtime,
you can carve out some time towards where you are able to
deal with certain things.
Let me know how I can be able to help you out with that.
Compassion, co-, CO, that is both, you and me.
You and me, not just one person, but it's you and me.
Passion,
that's being able to have empathy for that other person
that's in your ecosystem.
(11:59):
So when we talk about empathy, which is soft skills,
and then we bring it over to compassion,
it's another art of love.
I have a lot of leaders.
They're like, oh yeah, I do charity work.
I donate my time and my money.
But also too, the third definition of charity is love.
When are you spending that love in the boardroom?
(12:19):
When are you spending that love with your team?
And we need to combine that love and compassion.
And then now we have a driving force.
Now you can go anywhere.
You can go off of a Google map,
and your team will follow you.
They will follow you to the ends of the earth.
And that's the type of influence that I'm talking about,
people building up with love and compassion.
(12:43):
Man, you're just,
you're making my heart go pitter patter woman,
it's unbelievable.
And it's funny because that's actually what drove me to
start this podcast, Shauntel,
is that I saw corporate America being driven to exactly to
your point, to the one thing called the bottom line.
At all costs, I called it the scorched earth mentality,
right? They're blowing up relationships. They don't care
(13:06):
about their employees. They don't care about their
clients. They don't care about the vendors that are
supporting them. They're just driving to that one thing
called net profit.
And it's just a crying shame.
And you know, like I know,
is that a happy team is more effective, productive,
and profitable than somebody that's not.
And so far listeners, I'm telling you, Shauntel
(13:26):
is just dropping golden nuggets after golden nuggets. And
it's impossible,
she said this and I want to reiterate it for our listeners
so you don't miss it.
It's impossible for people to leave their stuff at the
door.
Everything's connected to everything, right?
And so Shauntel, what'
s one of the things that you share with your leaders on how
(13:47):
to, and actually, this is a two-part question.
And this is one of the reasons why I think it's so
important to have a big network as a leader, right?
Because when you know that compassion,
or you take the compassion,
and I love the way you broke that down, CO-, co,
that's you and I.
What's one of the things you share with leaders on how to
(14:11):
be patient and be better listeners so they can be
compassionate and then how do you coach them on how to tie
their network to their team to support them?
That's a great question.
And one of the things that I do is pretty much like the
first day I start to work with the executives is I put them
to work.
(14:31):
I tell them,
look at your calendar and for the next 21 days,
you're going to do a challenge.
And within this challenge,
this is where you are going to elevate your soft skills.
What I do is the first two weeks,
what I challenge leaders to do is when they are talking to
their team,
don't respond. Listen. Listen to what they have to say. J
(14:54):
ust listen and let them know beforehand that you will be
listening to them.
And then you're going to schedule a meeting so that you're
able to respond to them.
So now this gives the person who is talking the opportunity
to get it all off their chest because they know for one,
they're not going to be interrupted.
And they know for two,
that they are able to let all of that information land on
(15:18):
you without you worrying about triggering with the
response.
So now you're listening, you're wholeheartedly listening.
And once you're listening,
you're able to assess what they're saying, evaluate it.
And now you have the time where you're able to give them
the feedback, but it's not just feedback,
it's action into what they were saying.
(15:39):
And the thing that's really so beautiful about this is that
this does build up that EQ,
but it also builds up a relationship,
a relationship that's driven through meaningful
conversations.
When you're able to have this relationship,
now it builds trust.
So now, once your trust, your team trusts you,
(15:59):
now you're really able to start pulling the chamber on
where they do want to come to work.
They do feel supported.
They do feel like their voice is actually heard.
One of the things that I've seen so many times is that when
you do go to certain places, they have a group of people,
but they don't have a team.
(16:20):
Exactly.
There is a difference between a group and a team.
And in order to convert that,
you do have to have those soft skills.
So that's one of the first things that we do right off the
bat is I put them to work with a challenge.
That's awesome. You know, and now for our listeners, I
just want you to grasp that she was very clear. She just
gave you a process on how to build a relationship. And,
(16:43):
one of the things she said was you listen and tell them
you're not going to respond. At that point, t
here's not going to be any knee-jerk reactions. You're
going to listen and go away. And, then I'd like to tie...
if you don't mind, I
'd like to share a brief story, Shauntel. I
came across one of my managers,
and she was getting down on an employee. And,
one of the things...I interrupted and I said hang on a
(17:05):
second. I said, you know, M
ike has always been a great employee. I said, M
ike is there anything else going on? And he said,
yes. My mom is living in a campground and winter's coming
and she needs someplace to live. I said,
is there anything else going on? And he said, no. And, I
want to tie this for our audience because you just
(17:28):
you're...
you're in the rich spot man. It's just unbelievable your
wisdom. And so what happened was I got on the phone. I went
into my network. I had a realtor. I went into my network, I
got a realtor,
and I got his mom in a house in the next week. That guy is
glued to me forever because I listened,
(17:48):
but I also dove in just doing what you said.
I dove in and asked is there anything else going on outside these walls and that was the only thing that was bothering him. It wasn't he didn't care about the job; he loved his mother more than his job which was the way it's supposed to be. But at that point by helping him get his mom into a place to live, it was huge. And so, I just wanted to share that. Thanks for letting me share that story because it's exactly what you're talking about. And so again, for you leaders and everybody's a leader that's what I like to tell people even if you're pumping gas, somebody's watching you, right? Somebody's watching you whether you're in a family a business, an organization, a ceo, C-suite executive. Somebody's always watching you. Shauntel you're on fire. What's one of your favorite things that you see leaders doing that you can help them with fairly quickly to really change their direction and the results?
(18:46):
A lot of things that, um, like, for example,
I see a lot of leaders,
they are getting nervous on two different spectrums.
You have the silent generation.
They're still out there.
They have this wealth of institutional knowledge,
and they're kind of getting bogged down by the Gen Zers.
Then you have the Gen Zers coming into the market.
They're making their innovative impact,
(19:07):
but they're not really able to tap into the Gen Zers.
So what I like to do is I call it reverse mentorship.
I put them two together.
And what happens when they get together is now you have the
junior members teaching the silent generation.
Then on the flip hand,
I have silent generation teaching the Gen Zers.
(19:28):
And what you have is you have now this hybrid melted
approach.
And I tell leaders all the time,
let's start to have days where it's like fearless Fridays,
where now you have the junior leaders coming on,
and they're bringing on these innovative techniques.
And then on Wednesdays,
you can have your wealth of innovation and institutional
knowledge days where you're able to baptize them on the
(19:51):
previous concepts.
And I think that this works absolutely wonderful because
really you can't lose when you have different individuals
sitting at a table and you have a problem,
you're going to get it solved in no time,
compared to if you have everybody at the table who looks
alike. We're all going to think alike.
We're all going to come up with the same things.
Or it may not be no things.
(20:13):
So this is really how you get people synergized.
And this is how you really move your team towards that
championship win.
Oh my God, this is unbelievably cool.
So again, for our listeners,
I want you to know that what she just said was you can
learn from anybody.
And whether you're that silent generation or you think you
know it all, or you're that younger generation,
(20:35):
there's something to be learned from everybody.
And I love that.
I mentor high school kids, Shauntel.
And one of the things I tell people is I learn from them
every time I'm with them.
Every time I'm with them, I learn something, every time.
And it's stuff that I would never know because to your
point, it's very generational.
They know some stuff that I will never know unless I'm
interacting with them, but vice-a-versa, right?
(20:58):
And so that, again, this comes to your heart.
When you open your heart to be a student to everybody and
let that ego go, powerful things come.
And again,
she said something else that I want our listeners to
understand.
She said, when you put everybody in the room,
you get answers that you would have never gotten.
And when there's different looking people,
I spent 20 years in the Marines, Shauntel,
(21:18):
and they used to tell us that nobody was white, black,
red, brown, that we were all green.
We only had to worry about two colors, green and red.
Green was the uniforms we wore.
And if they shot us, we were all gonna bleed red.
But to your point, we became such a unit of diversity,
(21:39):
right?
All these different people brought different things to the
table, but when we had that common mission, to your point,
the vision of where we were going,
it was huge. It was huge!
And everybody brought different things to the game.
And that's why I think it's so important to, again,
for our listeners to catch on to that.
When you have a challenge in your company, your family,
(22:00):
bring everybody together and let everybody's voice be
heard.
There's a guy, Simon Sinek,
I'm sure you're familiar with him.
He says, leaders eat last.
He also says, we should be the last to speak.
What would your advice be when you get the people you're
coaching to start having these meetings?
How do you coach them on an agenda and how to hold that
(22:23):
meeting?
One of the first things that I teach them is that,
what is this meeting and telling?
What are we doing here?
So whatever the meeting is and telling,
who are our key stakeholders within this meeting?
And let's just only have them in the meeting.
We don't need extra people in the meeting.
We just need to get these individuals in the meeting.
(22:43):
And I don't believe in an hour long meeting.
We can get things wrapped up within 45 minutes.
We can do this.
If you stick to the agenda, then we'll go ahead,
and we'll be able to get into it.
Some of the times what I do like to do is I like for
leaders to show me a picture of their conference room.
It might sound a little bit weird,
and to some people it did,
(23:03):
but they sent me a picture of their conference room.
And one of the rooms was like this dark green color.
And it almost looked like you were like in an interrogation
room.
And I said, you guys have to change that up.
I want it to be sky blue.
Let's open it up.
You have these drapes.
Like let's pull the drapes back.
Let's let the sun come in.
(23:24):
And literally they took the advice.
They were able to paint the walls,
this beautiful sky blue.
And he said, Shauntel, it's
so weird because people were coming up with ideas.
I said, ideas out the blue, right?
Because now we've changed the wall.
So it's just like these little things that we're able to
do, but you want it to be a welcoming space.
You want for everybody's voice to be heard.
(23:45):
And when you have the right decision members in the room,
you don't have to be like, okay,
and now we'll talk about this in three days.
No, we don't have three days.
We have now.
So make sure that your meeting is 45 minutes.
You have only like five bullet points on there.
You have the key individuals that's in there.
Start the meeting on time,
(24:05):
end it on time and let people know that we need to get the
answers out now.
And then you will get the ball rolling.
That's powerful stuff.
I hope this is one of these episodes I'm going to tell you
that you want to play this over and over because she's
laying down so much wisdom.
It's probably too much to grasp in one pass.
But you want to listen to this bad boy a couple of times
(24:27):
because she's got all kinds of stuff. And that meeting
thing alone is priceless. You go in. You've got an agenda. Y
ou get it done,
and you get out And then that way people will look forward
to the meetings because they're being heard.
And they know it's going to end when it's supposed to end,
and you're not going to go down a bunch of rabbit trails a
nd waste their time. And so,
(24:48):
I have just a plethora of questions.
And I don't want us to run out of time before you get
anything you might want to have on your heart that you'd
like to share.
So, I'd like to ask that question first. And, then, I
've got some questions after that.
Is there something really on your heart, Shauntel,
that you'd like to share with the audience?
Yes, just definitely.
I do have my sessions coming out.
(25:10):
It's called the Next Level Leadership Lab.
And that's where I do bring together different leaders from
really all over the globe,
and they come together in a cohort session,
and we really do work together for eight weeks.
The first time that we do it,
it's more like an educational session where I teach,
and then the second part of the week, t
(25:31):
hat's where I check in and see how everything is being
implemented.
And then through the implementation.
I like to highlight best practices,
and then we move to the next week.
So for eight full weeks, individuals are learning.
Another one of my frameworks is proven,
is vetted and I just unveil one framework at a time each
week because I don't want for them to be overloaded,
(25:53):
and I want for them to actually implement each single
framework that will be on target to hit their goals by the
end of our session.
That's awesome.
Again,
one of the things I'm a fan of that Shauntel is talking
about is processes, right?
If we build processes, then it becomes sustainable.
And to your point, we can pass it on as a legacy, right?
(26:14):
Because other people can do it.
Other people can see what's going on.
At some point, when you're working with leaders,
and they're struggling with a specific employee,
what's your coaching around that normally?
And I guess the real question I'm asking is,
so how long do you tell a leader, look,
we're going to try and coach them and mentor them up,
(26:35):
or they're not a good fit?
What I tell...
this is a wonderful question,
and this is one of the favorite things that I love to do.
So if a leader is telling me that they're having a problem
with one of their co workers, I say, Great,
let's go ahead and put you in their shoes.
Let's go ahead and put you in a day in a life in their
shoes.
One of my last clients,
(26:57):
it was a woman she was having a problem with I said, Great,
let's put ourselves in her heels.
Tell me about this woman.
She said, well, she just had twins.
She takes an hour and a half commute.
Wait a minute.
I'm hearing all these things.
And you're telling me that she's showing up not really on
time, that you're hard to engage with her.
(27:17):
Well, look at her situation.
She's had twins.
Look at her commute.
So how can we help her out?
If you were in her shoes, h
ow would you like your week to start?
Would you like to start maybe working remote on Monday?
Would that help out?
Would you like to maybe shift your timeline a little bit?
(27:37):
Would that help out?
What do you think we can do to help her out while she's on
this?
Do you think that maybe we can have her do a hybrid work
schedule?
So I always like for people to put their selves in the
other person's shoes,
there might really be good reasons to why they are cranky,
or to why they are late, or to why they're stressed out.
(27:57):
But if we just look at it on a surface level,
we're really complaining.
But we're not really examining and understanding and
emphasizing with where that person is coming from.
Nine out of 10 times,
when people start to put their selves in that person's
shoes, they have this big epiphany.
And they almost feel like I'm a jerk.
Am I a jerk?
(28:17):
Am I a jerk?
And it's like, no, you're not a jerk.
You're just busy.
And we have to take out that time to really have these
conversations.
And, that's just brilliant,
and I hope all our listeners caught that. That's brilliant
brilliant advice and isn't it interesting how it's kind of
like my story with my employee and his mother,
right? Exactly the same kind of scenario,
(28:39):
and when you put yourself in their shoes and find out
what's really at the root of it,
this is how you cement people to the organization,
right? This is what you said earlier. This is how you get
your culture to morph from just a group of people to team,
a high performing team. You've got just great success and
great wisdom. One of the things I find so fascinating in
(29:01):
that scenario, w
hat would your coaching be to someone who they put
themselves in their shoes,
and they've done everything they can to make it a good fit
coach them up and it's not working. At what point do you
you share with your leaders that you coach how and when to
let somebody go?
Well, that's the thing.
Sometimes as a leader, we wear different hats.
(29:22):
Sometimes we might be a coach.
We might be a mentor.
We might be their best friend.
We might be their parent.
And within that wheel house, maybe as a parent,
you're looking at them and you're like,
maybe marketing isn't the right fit for you.
Maybe we need to put you into accounting.
Maybe accounting isn't a good fit for you.
Maybe we need to put you in sales.
(29:43):
So now it's really about looking at this person and really
seeing where would they be the best at? Some people say,
I'm good at this.
I'm good at this.
I'm good at this.
And it's like, okay, but what are you great in?
Where do you want to be?
Where does your north star drive you into be at?
And then that's where we go ahead, and we leverage them at.
(30:05):
So if you're having this conversation with this person,
and then it's like, aha,
this person would be better at marketing.
Then you can tap into one of your networks and say, Hey,
I have a great person over here who should be a great fit
in your marketing department.
That's awesome.
Are you familiar with John Wooden?
Yes.
Yeah, and so one of the things,
(30:26):
I've read a couple of his books, and one of the things...
to your point, and again,
I want your leaders to re-listen to this because she's just
dropping all kinds of golden nuggets.
One of the things John Wooden would do is when he would cut
somebody from the basketball team he would say, H
ey I've given your name to the swimming coach,
right? You know, you're not such a great basketball player,
but you look like it could be a great swimmer. And so,
(30:46):
he doesn't tell him you know you're useless get out. He's
just telling him, to your point, what are you great at?
And that's such a great...
what are you great at? What would you jump out of bed every
morning to be doing? Because you're right,
often and people call it the right seat on the bus,
correct? If they're on the right bus,
we just got to give them the right seat. They may not be
the driver. They may be all the way in the back. That's
(31:09):
some amazing stuff. What's one of the things that you would
suggest to leaders? One of the things I'm big on is self
-love and obviously personal development-growth. What's one
of the things that you share with leaders,
when you're coaching them,
that's the most powerful thing you've shared that helps
them learn to love and like themselves and help themselves
(31:30):
grow?
The one thing I always encourage leaders to do is to extend
yourself some grace.
You're not supposed to be perfect.
It's okay.
Show yourself some grace. Ease up on yourself a little bit.
We'd be too hard on ourselves.
We're like mentally trying to compete with another leader.
(31:51):
We're mentally trying to compete with another organization.
We're trying to outwork our competition.
We're trying to stay competitive so that we can become the
industry's best.
But within that,
that sends the wrong signals to ourselves.
We get exhausted.
We have decision fatigue.
We have work fatigue.
(32:11):
And I don't even go into burnout because I just work on the
fatigue.
So it doesn't get to burnout.
So in order for you not to cross over into that element,
let's focus on the fatigue,
and we can focus on that by you allowing yourself some
grace.
People tend to only say grace before they eat their food.
That's great.
But I want you to extend grace before that.
(32:32):
Give yourself some grace when you wake up in the morning. G
ive yourself some grace when it's lunchtime.
Stop trying to hurry up and eat your food in 10,
15 minutes.
No, you worked hard for that meal.
Take some grace and enjoy it.
Enjoy the time when you do go home.
Don't just go from the boardroom and just drive right into
the living room.
And now you have papers in your laptop.
(32:54):
Don't forget that.
Show yourself some grace.
And within that chamber,
you're really showing yourself that you are validated,
that's self-love,
and then you're sending the right signals to yourself.
Man, that's that's beautiful.
I couldn't agree more.
I think we're way too hard on ourselves all the time,
and that's all of us, right?
We're just way too hard on ourselves. And to your point, w
(33:15):
e are just being humans,
right? And that's kind of the deal.
It's just how it works We're gonna make mistakes,
and and I think... So,
let me ask you this and we could do this for a long time,
but but I want to ask you this (33:27):
What's something that you
share with leaders when they've made a mistake or they've
done something wrong.
How do they go back to their team and kind of clean it up?
One great thing I love about it is that when they have,
let's say it made like a poor decision,
is for first of all,
(33:48):
we tap into it one on one where we do a failure debrief.
Where we talk about the failure. We reframe the failure,
and we extract the lesson from that. What's the lesson?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry let me interrupt you, Shauntel. S
he's got another showstopper,
and thanks for being so generous. We look for the lesson.
(34:12):
I don't want anybody to miss that if any failure anything
that goes sideways or south or just flat out blows up,
there's a lesson to be had. And if we don't get the lesson,
we're gonna live it again. It's one of the things God gives
us,
right? He'll give us that same lesson over and over and over
till we grasp it. So,
thanks for letting me interrupt you. But again,
(34:32):
for you listening, there's always a lesson. Go on, Shauntel.
So after you extract that lesson,
then you go to your team and you take accountability for
that. You take the ownership for that,
and you let them know because part of being a leader,
that's leading with transparency and integrity and overall
(34:53):
accountability.
So you let them know that you dropped the ball,
but this is the lesson that we learned from that.
And when you have that type of culture,
this is the type of culture that you're doing (35:03):
a solution,
not a scapegoat.
Amen, sister.
I preach the same stuff.
For anybody that'll listen,
we're a culture that's looking for solutions not to crucify
anybody.
And at that point, it's a whole lot healthier.
(35:24):
Boy,
you've got some great wisdom for somebody as young as you
are.
Is there anything else that you'd like to...
Again, like I said, we could do this for hours,
but is there anything else that you'd like to share that
you think would be of value to our listeners when it comes
to terms of leadership and or love?
Once again, I think that we all are learning something.
(35:47):
You're never going to know it all.
So the one thing I would like to share with the leaders
today is to do that reverse mentorship.
Find somebody who's on the other spectrum as you.
If you're a Gen Z'er,
combine yourself with somebody from a silent generation or
a baby boomer.
If you're a silent generation baby boomer,
(36:08):
hook yourself up with the millennial or a Gen Z'er.
And that's now going to be your partner,
your partner in crime, your partner in rhyme.
And you guys can really come up with a lot of different
innovative techniques so that you can pivot your
organization to be a model of best practices.
Oh my gosh, this has just been so, so beautiful.
(36:30):
I I'd like to ask you,
so I have a couple questions that I always end with,
and one of them is what's a book that you like to share
with your listeners. And so,
I'd like you to share your book specifically again the
title of your book, please.
Yeah.
The title of my book,
it is called Influence Yourself and Leadership & Life.
And this is my author's copy, but this is the book.
(36:53):
And within the book, it's not just like a read.
This is something for you to have a notebook with.
I ask a lot of questions.
Everybody can not be getting a one-on-one coaching with me.
Everybody may not be able to be in the Next Level L
eadership Lab, but now you have the book.
So within the book, this is tapping into my knowledge.
(37:15):
Now you're able to hack into me real time on your own time.
So, I'm going to ask some questions, answer it, dissect it,
put the book down.
And I'm asking people to apply stuff in real time.
So by the time you put down the book,
you will be a different person from when you purchased the
book.
And that's just it.
Hey man, I
love you. I wish you weren't so darn far away so I can hug
(37:39):
you. I can tell you that she just said something. I highly
recommend you go get her book. I'm actually going to twist
your arm when this calls off I
want an autographed edition, but I can tell you that one of the things she said is and that's the truth.
Okay.
You can read something but until you take action you don't know you haven't experienced it, right? I can tell you about the best pork chops I've ever had, but until I take you to that restaurant and you have them, you'll never know.
(38:06):
And,
she just and she just gave you great wisdom. For our listeners, I
would highly recommend you get her book and take the
action, answer the questions. When I read a book, I
dog ear the pages. I use a highlighter. I have a
conversation with the author. If the author tells me to
answer a question or fill in the blanks,
all my books look like they've been beaten up. But
because I'm having interaction with them, right?
(38:27):
I'm not just reading the book to be able to, Y
eah I read Shauntel's book and then you boast about it. I
read Shauntel's book.
and this
is I like to tell people, even if they get one thing out of your book that moves them forward one step forward and being a better leader. So, the next thing I want to ask you, one of my final questions is, what do you love most about the work you do, Shauntel? And it's clear that you're passionate, and you're very good at it. What do you love most about helping leaders?
(38:57):
The,
what I love most about helping leaders is that I know I'm
not just helping them.
I know that I'm reaching their team,
the individuals that are there now and the individuals that
are there to come.
It's like that domino effect.
I touched that one domino and then boom,
it trickles all the way down.
And that's what I love to do.
(39:17):
It's inspirational, it's heartfelt,
and my mission is in my message.
And I love to spread that message.
Amen, you rock.
I couldn't agree with you more.
And it's really, I feel you.
You know what I mean?
I mean, that's the truth of who you are being.
And I think that's very powerful.
I think leaders need to realize who are you being, right?
(39:39):
Who are you showing up as?
And you're showing up as the real deal.
You're showing up playing from your heart.
And I also love that.
And leaders, I want you to catch this.
She calls it the domino effect.
I call it the downstream.
We don't always know the full impact.
If we did, I believe we're not supposed to know, right?
If we knew the full impact of our downstream,
our head would be so big, we couldn't get it out the door.
(40:01):
That's why God leaves it to him.
I give it, you know, that downstream's his.
But we do what we can,
knowing that impact on that leader is gonna go downstream.
Man, I love your heart, Shauntel.
I love your heart.
What a blessing you've been to show up today.
Out of the blue, you found us.
And thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you, this has just been,
I got chills going through me, man.
This has been on fire.
(40:21):
So before we go, I want everybody,
and for those of you that are listening and not watching,
you gotta find this and watch it because Shauntel's just
got the most beautiful smile.
When she smiles, she lights up.
But Shauntel, how can people get in touch with you?
People can get in touch with me by just sending me a quick
email.
My email address is Shauntel.
That
is S-H-A-U-N-T, as in Terry, E-L @wishingyouwellinlife.org.
(40:52):
That's awesome.
And we're going to put that in the meeting notes.
We've also got the the link to get her book.
So that's going to be in the meeting notes as well.
So feel free to reach out to Shauntel. And I can tell you,
she's just a mass of wise,
wise things for leaders to know and to practice.
And so don't hesitate to reach out to her. Shauntel, again,
(41:14):
from the bottom of my heart,
thank you for doing what you do to change the world and
make it a better place.
I love you, and enjoy the rest of your day.
Love you, too.
Thank you so much.
Thanks again for joining us and listening to this episode
of Leadership and Love.
I would like to challenge you to ask yourself what's one
thing that you heard today that you can implement
(41:34):
immediately to improve your leadership and accelerate your
growth.
If you've gotten value out of this episode or learned
something that you can implement today,
we'd ask that you please share it with those that you care
about.
Our goal is to create more leaders who are leading with
love.
What's the biggest thing you can share with them to have
(00:02):
influence as fast and easy as possible?
Be mindful about what is coming at you.
What is your personal desire?
A personal desire, that outweighs a goal by far.
So, I ask them to dig deep into their desires.
If that desire is just gonna keep you on fire forever.
Compassion, it's another art of love.
(00:24):
When are you spending that love in the boardroom?
When are you spending that love with your team?
Really, you can't loop.
When you have different individuals sitting at a table and
you have a problem, you're gonna get it solved in no time.
When you open your heart to be a student to everybody and
let that ego go, powerful things come.
(00:46):
What's one of the things that you share with leaders that
helps them learn to love and like themselves?
People tend to only say grace before they eat their food.
That's great.
I want you to extend grace before that.
Give yourself some grace when you wake up in the morning.
Give yourself some grace when it's lunchtime.
What's something that you share with leaders when they've
made a mistake or they've done something wrong?
(01:07):
How do they go back to their team and kind of clean it up?
Welcome to the Leadership and Love Podcast.
We will cover leadership, mindset, personal development,
and sales and marketing.
You'll experience thought-provoking conversations with both
nationally and internationally recognized leaders.
Our goal is to inspire you and deliver actionable items
(01:31):
that you can implement that will help you accelerate your
growth.
Get ready to discover the magic and the power when you lead
with love.
Welcome back everybody to another amazing episode of
Leadership and Love.
I'm actually very excited because I've got Shauntel here
coming to us from San Francisco, California.
(01:53):
So Shauntel is the author of Influence Yourself,
a book that she just showed me.
She's the author of Influence Yourself in Leadership and
Life,
a sought-after global leadership speaker and executive
coach specialized in the art of a bold leader and the
leader who balances wellness and hustle with over two
decades of experience in the corporate world and close to
(02:15):
20 coaching certifications.
That's a lot of certifications.
It's a lot of studying,
a lot of tests. Shauntel brings unmatched expertise and a
fresh perspective to leadership and workforce development.
She's got a really bold mission,
and I'm going to let her talk about that as well as
storytelling.
One of the things I love about Shauntel is she's so well
-rounded.
(02:35):
She's got all this experience and learning,
but she's also got real-world experience as well as being
an author and a coach.
She's also a speaker.
So Shauntel, thanks for joining us today.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's really a pleasure to be here.
I'm excited. So you and I have similar passions around this
leadership thing. So we have two passions about...
(02:56):
I love the influence, you know,
leaders... As leaders we want to be influential, and also,
one of the things I like to share with people is everything
can be systematized or put in a process, a
nd you have a framework . So,
I'd like to start with what's the thing that you share
with leaders,
the biggest thing you can share with them to have influence
as fast and easy as possible?
(03:20):
One of the things that I ask them to do is to take notes on
some of the influences that they're not even aware of.
We have so many things that are externally influencing us,
and we may not even be aware of these things.
Is it your family, your community, politics, economics?
Is it social media?
So I like to have them just dissect what things are
(03:42):
actually influencing them.
And then to put in another chamber,
what are the bad influences?
Cause not all influences are bad.
We have some that are good influences.
So I want them to really be more mindful and take heed to
the things that are influencing them in a good way,
opposed to the negative influences.
(04:03):
And then to really become well-centered within themselves
so that they're not being influenced more like they're now
actually being the influencer where they're the ones that...
Oh, oh, oh...Stop, I'm sorry,
I gotta interrupt you. That was a golden...
she just dropped a golden nugget.
I mean, that was a brick, a gold brick.
Will you please say that again?
Yeah, absolutely.
(04:24):
Just be mindful about what is coming at you.
Be mindful about if you're listening to the radio,
if it's social media, if it's the community, if it is,
per se, economics.
Be aware of that, because some of those things,
you're getting drug into other people's hysteria.
(04:47):
You're getting drug into other people's fears.
And that may not be you.
You may not really have to take on that element.
So like I said, put it down into different chambers.
What are you being influenced by?
Is this a good influence or a negative influence?
And if it's negative,
let's drop those negative influences immediately.
(05:07):
That way, you're able to get rid of that baggage.
Amen.
Amen, sister.
I couldn't agree more.
And one of the things I'll say to our listeners,
so this is on fire already.
This is going to be a great conversation.
And one of the things that Shauntel was talking about the
news is one of those bigger influencers, right?
We turn on the news, and the news is always, you know,
(05:29):
they say if it bleeds, it leads, right?
So nothing positive is ever coming on the news.
So that's..
.
Thanks for sharing that great wisdom right off the bat.
So you talked about a framework, and I'm really excited.
You're the first person that I've actually interviewed
that's approached me for my podcast.
Everybody up till now has been somebody that's in my
network.
So I'm really humbled and honored that you're on the call
(05:51):
today.
And I'd like you to talk about your framework of how you
help leaders build this influence.
Yeah,
one of the things of it is is that when I do do my one on
one coaching, I work with a lot of executives,
and they always tell me, this is my goal.
And it's like,
I have a goal to wash my clothes later on tonight,
I have a goal to cook dinner.
(06:12):
But what is your personal desire,
a personal desire that outweighs a goal by far.
So I ask them to dig deep into their desires.
Once they're able to do that,
then I share with them my goal framework.
So the goal framework, it works like this, the "G",
that's to galvanize your vision,
(06:34):
our vision that serves as our North Star.
So as we're moving to that vision,
I want to know why you're moving towards that vision.
So I ask the leaders to write out a one sentence,
why they're moving that big bang one, that one liner,
big bang, and that serves as their leadership manifesto.
Then within that, I reverse engineer their success,
(06:55):
breaking it down from five years now to 12 months.
And I tell them to communicate this relentlessly. The "O",
that's to optimize your influence, leadership is impact.
So I tell them to map out your network. Who are your
allies? Your decision makers? Your mentors? And then for
them to have relationships that are driven by meaning. We
(07:19):
want to have meaningful relationships with these people.
And we can do that through EQ, our soft skills.
And then "A" that's for aligned actions,
I want to make sure you're putting your energy into the
right components.
And how can we track that?
I have them audit their time.
So audit your work week, audit your work month,
and see what is actually being able to help you pivot
(07:42):
towards your goals and what's not,
and then tweak your schedule.
And then last but not least is the "L". The L that's for
leverage your legacy.
What is a legacy? It's the people and the systems that we
put in place because those systems are going to outlast
you.
So let's face it,
the ultimate form of our legacy is success.
(08:04):
It's the success that we have,
how can you definitely have this success?
I put it into three pillars. You want to mentor future
leaders. You want to be able to document your progress.
And then last but not least,
you want to be able to celebrate your success.
So overall, the GOAL framework,
it ensures that the leader's desires are met,
(08:26):
and then multiply by the people and the systems that they
put in place.
That's great stuff.
I love...
I love that you have such a clear system and that it's been
so successful for you.
One of the things I think is so fascinating is as a fellow
speaker, you know I'm often called a motivational speaker,
and I'm not a fan of that. You know people hang that on us.
(08:48):
They do they hang it on us, but I tell people you know, b
oth of us could walk into a room and motivate somebody. But
my desire is to touch their heart so they're inspired. B
ecause if they're inspired then they're going to find their
own fire and passion Much like you said,
what's their why? That's what's inspiring them.
I love that you help leaders get such clarity on that.
(09:10):
If you had some advice for our listener Shauntel,
what would you like to share with them around their why? H
ow do you help leaders get clear on their why,
their passion?
I help leaders to get clear on this is because the why
that's going to be our driving force.
So I have them write down what their why is.
(09:31):
Usually it's something generic.
And then I ask them again.
And then they write something a little bit less generic and
as a little bit more meaningful.
And then I ask them why again.
And they're like, why are you asking me this?
And then they write it down a third time.
And by the time they write it down a third time,
(09:51):
now it's more heartfelt.
It's more something that's really intuitive to them.
And it really has been embedded into their desires.
So when you desire something, that burning desire,
that's going to keep you going.
Sometimes we need motivation Monday through Friday,
but that desire is just going to keep you on fire forever.
(10:14):
Amen, you know,
you're you're right. You're just touching my heart here
because I'm sincere because it's one of those things.
I Love the the Toyota way.
I learned the five whys, right?
Why? You ask why five times. That drives down to the heart
of the matter, and I love that you touched your heart.
Because I think that's my goal is to have leaders
(10:34):
understand that when you come from your heart, e
verybody wins. And, when you come from your heart,
you don't burn out, r
ight? Because you keeping everything in balance.
What's one of the things that you've seen over the years
that you'd like to share with our listeners that would help
them keep that balance in their leadership,
but stay tied to their heart?
(10:56):
Definitely one thing that I've seen kind of fade away
throughout this recent transition is compassion.
People, leaders are not leading with compassion.
They're leading with initiatives.
They're leading with getting down to that bottom number,
that bottom line.
But what about the frontline people?
You always hear it so many times.
I just heard a leader say this the other day (11:16):
leave your
problems at the door.
When you come in here, I want you to be focused on work.
That's impossible.
Who's able to leave their problems at the door?
It's just not realistic.
But when you have compassion, you're able to say,
come to work.
We appreciate you being here.
(11:38):
And hopefully during your break or your lunchtime,
you can carve out some time towards where you are able to
deal with certain things.
Let me know how I can be able to help you out with that.
Compassion, co-, CO, that is both, you and me.
You and me, not just one person, but it's you and me.
Passion,
that's being able to have empathy for that other person
that's in your ecosystem.
(11:59):
So when we talk about empathy, which is soft skills,
and then we bring it over to compassion,
it's another art of love.
I have a lot of leaders.
They're like, oh yeah, I do charity work.
I donate my time and my money.
But also too, the third definition of charity is love.
When are you spending that love in the boardroom?
(12:19):
When are you spending that love with your team?
And we need to combine that love and compassion.
And then now we have a driving force.
Now you can go anywhere.
You can go off of a Google map,
and your team will follow you.
They will follow you to the ends of the earth.
And that's the type of influence that I'm talking about,
people building up with love and compassion.
(12:43):
Man, you're just,
you're making my heart go pitter patter woman,
it's unbelievable.
And it's funny because that's actually what drove me to
start this podcast, Shauntel,
is that I saw corporate America being driven to exactly to
your point, to the one thing called the bottom line.
At all costs, I called it the scorched earth mentality,
right? They're blowing up relationships. They don't care
(13:06):
about their employees. They don't care about their
clients. They don't care about the vendors that are
supporting them. They're just driving to that one thing
called net profit.
And it's just a crying shame.
And you know, like I know,
is that a happy team is more effective, productive,
and profitable than somebody that's not.
And so far listeners, I'm telling you, Shauntel
(13:26):
is just dropping golden nuggets after golden nuggets. And
it's impossible,
she said this and I want to reiterate it for our listeners
so you don't miss it.
It's impossible for people to leave their stuff at the
door.
Everything's connected to everything, right?
And so Shauntel, what'
s one of the things that you share with your leaders on how
(13:47):
to, and actually, this is a two-part question.
And this is one of the reasons why I think it's so
important to have a big network as a leader, right?
Because when you know that compassion,
or you take the compassion,
and I love the way you broke that down, CO-, co,
that's you and I.
What's one of the things you share with leaders on how to
(14:11):
be patient and be better listeners so they can be
compassionate and then how do you coach them on how to tie
their network to their team to support them?
That's a great question.
And one of the things that I do is pretty much like the
first day I start to work with the executives is I put them
to work.
(14:31):
I tell them,
look at your calendar and for the next 21 days,
you're going to do a challenge.
And within this challenge,
this is where you are going to elevate your soft skills.
What I do is the first two weeks,
what I challenge leaders to do is when they are talking to
their team,
don't respond. Listen. Listen to what they have to say. J
(14:54):
ust listen and let them know beforehand that you will be
listening to them.
And then you're going to schedule a meeting so that you're
able to respond to them.
So now this gives the person who is talking the opportunity
to get it all off their chest because they know for one,
they're not going to be interrupted.
And they know for two,
that they are able to let all of that information land on
(15:18):
you without you worrying about triggering with the
response.
So now you're listening, you're wholeheartedly listening.
And once you're listening,
you're able to assess what they're saying, evaluate it.
And now you have the time where you're able to give them
the feedback, but it's not just feedback,
it's action into what they were saying.
(15:39):
And the thing that's really so beautiful about this is that
this does build up that EQ,
but it also builds up a relationship,
a relationship that's driven through meaningful
conversations.
When you're able to have this relationship,
now it builds trust.
So now, once your trust, your team trusts you,
(15:59):
now you're really able to start pulling the chamber on
where they do want to come to work.
They do feel supported.
They do feel like their voice is actually heard.
One of the things that I've seen so many times is that when
you do go to certain places, they have a group of people,
but they don't have a team.
(16:20):
Exactly.
There is a difference between a group and a team.
And in order to convert that,
you do have to have those soft skills.
So that's one of the first things that we do right off the
bat is I put them to work with a challenge.
That's awesome. You know, and now for our listeners, I
just want you to grasp that she was very clear. She just
gave you a process on how to build a relationship. And,
(16:43):
one of the things she said was you listen and tell them
you're not going to respond. At that point, t
here's not going to be any knee-jerk reactions. You're
going to listen and go away. And, then I'd like to tie...
if you don't mind, I
'd like to share a brief story, Shauntel. I
came across one of my managers,
and she was getting down on an employee. And,
one of the things...I interrupted and I said hang on a
(17:05):
second. I said, you know, M
ike has always been a great employee. I said, M
ike is there anything else going on? And he said,
yes. My mom is living in a campground and winter's coming
and she needs someplace to live. I said,
is there anything else going on? And he said, no. And, I
want to tie this for our audience because you just
(17:28):
you're...
you're in the rich spot man. It's just unbelievable your
wisdom. And so what happened was I got on the phone. I went
into my network. I had a realtor. I went into my network, I
got a realtor,
and I got his mom in a house in the next week. That guy is
glued to me forever because I listened,
(17:48):
but I also dove in just doing what you said.
I dove in and asked is there anything else going on outside these walls and that was the only thing that was bothering him. It wasn't he didn't care about the job; he loved his mother more than his job which was the way it's supposed to be. But at that point by helping him get his mom into a place to live, it was huge. And so, I just wanted to share that. Thanks for letting me share that story because it's exactly what you're talking about. And so again, for you leaders and everybody's a leader that's what I like to tell people even if you're pumping gas, somebody's watching you, right? Somebody's watching you whether you're in a family a business, an organization, a ceo, C-suite executive. Somebody's always watching you. Shauntel you're on fire. What's one of your favorite things that you see leaders doing that you can help them with fairly quickly to really change their direction and the results?
(18:46):
A lot of things that, um, like, for example,
I see a lot of leaders,
they are getting nervous on two different spectrums.
You have the silent generation.
They're still out there.
They have this wealth of institutional knowledge,
and they're kind of getting bogged down by the Gen Zers.
Then you have the Gen Zers coming into the market.
They're making their innovative impact,
(19:07):
but they're not really able to tap into the Gen Zers.
So what I like to do is I call it reverse mentorship.
I put them two together.
And what happens when they get together is now you have the
junior members teaching the silent generation.
Then on the flip hand,
I have silent generation teaching the Gen Zers.
(19:28):
And what you have is you have now this hybrid melted
approach.
And I tell leaders all the time,
let's start to have days where it's like fearless Fridays,
where now you have the junior leaders coming on,
and they're bringing on these innovative techniques.
And then on Wednesdays,
you can have your wealth of innovation and institutional
knowledge days where you're able to baptize them on the
(19:51):
previous concepts.
And I think that this works absolutely wonderful because
really you can't lose when you have different individuals
sitting at a table and you have a problem,
you're going to get it solved in no time,
compared to if you have everybody at the table who looks
alike. We're all going to think alike.
We're all going to come up with the same things.
Or it may not be no things.
(20:13):
So this is really how you get people synergized.
And this is how you really move your team towards that
championship win.
Oh my God, this is unbelievably cool.
So again, for our listeners,
I want you to know that what she just said was you can
learn from anybody.
And whether you're that silent generation or you think you
know it all, or you're that younger generation,
(20:35):
there's something to be learned from everybody.
And I love that.
I mentor high school kids, Shauntel.
And one of the things I tell people is I learn from them
every time I'm with them.
Every time I'm with them, I learn something, every time.
And it's stuff that I would never know because to your
point, it's very generational.
They know some stuff that I will never know unless I'm
interacting with them, but vice-a-versa, right?
(20:58):
And so that, again, this comes to your heart.
When you open your heart to be a student to everybody and
let that ego go, powerful things come.
And again,
she said something else that I want our listeners to
understand.
She said, when you put everybody in the room,
you get answers that you would have never gotten.
And when there's different looking people,
I spent 20 years in the Marines, Shauntel,
(21:18):
and they used to tell us that nobody was white, black,
red, brown, that we were all green.
We only had to worry about two colors, green and red.
Green was the uniforms we wore.
And if they shot us, we were all gonna bleed red.
But to your point, we became such a unit of diversity,
(21:39):
right?
All these different people brought different things to the
table, but when we had that common mission, to your point,
the vision of where we were going,
it was huge. It was huge!
And everybody brought different things to the game.
And that's why I think it's so important to, again,
for our listeners to catch on to that.
When you have a challenge in your company, your family,
(22:00):
bring everybody together and let everybody's voice be
heard.
There's a guy, Simon Sinek,
I'm sure you're familiar with him.
He says, leaders eat last.
He also says, we should be the last to speak.
What would your advice be when you get the people you're
coaching to start having these meetings?
How do you coach them on an agenda and how to hold that
(22:23):
meeting?
One of the first things that I teach them is that,
what is this meeting and telling?
What are we doing here?
So whatever the meeting is and telling,
who are our key stakeholders within this meeting?
And let's just only have them in the meeting.
We don't need extra people in the meeting.
We just need to get these individuals in the meeting.
(22:43):
And I don't believe in an hour long meeting.
We can get things wrapped up within 45 minutes.
We can do this.
If you stick to the agenda, then we'll go ahead,
and we'll be able to get into it.
Some of the times what I do like to do is I like for
leaders to show me a picture of their conference room.
It might sound a little bit weird,
and to some people it did,
(23:03):
but they sent me a picture of their conference room.
And one of the rooms was like this dark green color.
And it almost looked like you were like in an interrogation
room.
And I said, you guys have to change that up.
I want it to be sky blue.
Let's open it up.
You have these drapes.
Like let's pull the drapes back.
Let's let the sun come in.
(23:24):
And literally they took the advice.
They were able to paint the walls,
this beautiful sky blue.
And he said, Shauntel, it's
so weird because people were coming up with ideas.
I said, ideas out the blue, right?
Because now we've changed the wall.
So it's just like these little things that we're able to
do, but you want it to be a welcoming space.
You want for everybody's voice to be heard.
(23:45):
And when you have the right decision members in the room,
you don't have to be like, okay,
and now we'll talk about this in three days.
No, we don't have three days.
We have now.
So make sure that your meeting is 45 minutes.
You have only like five bullet points on there.
You have the key individuals that's in there.
Start the meeting on time,
(24:05):
end it on time and let people know that we need to get the
answers out now.
And then you will get the ball rolling.
That's powerful stuff.
I hope this is one of these episodes I'm going to tell you
that you want to play this over and over because she's
laying down so much wisdom.
It's probably too much to grasp in one pass.
But you want to listen to this bad boy a couple of times
(24:27):
because she's got all kinds of stuff. And that meeting
thing alone is priceless. You go in. You've got an agenda. Y
ou get it done,
and you get out And then that way people will look forward
to the meetings because they're being heard.
And they know it's going to end when it's supposed to end,
and you're not going to go down a bunch of rabbit trails a
nd waste their time. And so,
(24:48):
I have just a plethora of questions.
And I don't want us to run out of time before you get
anything you might want to have on your heart that you'd
like to share.
So, I'd like to ask that question first. And, then, I
've got some questions after that.
Is there something really on your heart, Shauntel,
that you'd like to share with the audience?
Yes, just definitely.
I do have my sessions coming out.
(25:10):
It's called the Next Level Leadership Lab.
And that's where I do bring together different leaders from
really all over the globe,
and they come together in a cohort session,
and we really do work together for eight weeks.
The first time that we do it,
it's more like an educational session where I teach,
and then the second part of the week, t
(25:31):
hat's where I check in and see how everything is being
implemented.
And then through the implementation.
I like to highlight best practices,
and then we move to the next week.
So for eight full weeks, individuals are learning.
Another one of my frameworks is proven,
is vetted and I just unveil one framework at a time each
week because I don't want for them to be overloaded,
(25:53):
and I want for them to actually implement each single
framework that will be on target to hit their goals by the
end of our session.
That's awesome.
Again,
one of the things I'm a fan of that Shauntel is talking
about is processes, right?
If we build processes, then it becomes sustainable.
And to your point, we can pass it on as a legacy, right?
(26:14):
Because other people can do it.
Other people can see what's going on.
At some point, when you're working with leaders,
and they're struggling with a specific employee,
what's your coaching around that normally?
And I guess the real question I'm asking is,
so how long do you tell a leader, look,
we're going to try and coach them and mentor them up,
(26:35):
or they're not a good fit?
What I tell...
this is a wonderful question,
and this is one of the favorite things that I love to do.
So if a leader is telling me that they're having a problem
with one of their co workers, I say, Great,
let's go ahead and put you in their shoes.
Let's go ahead and put you in a day in a life in their
shoes.
One of my last clients,
(26:57):
it was a woman she was having a problem with I said, Great,
let's put ourselves in her heels.
Tell me about this woman.
She said, well, she just had twins.
She takes an hour and a half commute.
Wait a minute.
I'm hearing all these things.
And you're telling me that she's showing up not really on
time, that you're hard to engage with her.
(27:17):
Well, look at her situation.
She's had twins.
Look at her commute.
So how can we help her out?
If you were in her shoes, h
ow would you like your week to start?
Would you like to start maybe working remote on Monday?
Would that help out?
Would you like to maybe shift your timeline a little bit?
(27:37):
Would that help out?
What do you think we can do to help her out while she's on
this?
Do you think that maybe we can have her do a hybrid work
schedule?
So I always like for people to put their selves in the
other person's shoes,
there might really be good reasons to why they are cranky,
or to why they are late, or to why they're stressed out.
(27:57):
But if we just look at it on a surface level,
we're really complaining.
But we're not really examining and understanding and
emphasizing with where that person is coming from.
Nine out of 10 times,
when people start to put their selves in that person's
shoes, they have this big epiphany.
And they almost feel like I'm a jerk.
Am I a jerk?
(28:17):
Am I a jerk?
And it's like, no, you're not a jerk.
You're just busy.
And we have to take out that time to really have these
conversations.
And, that's just brilliant,
and I hope all our listeners caught that. That's brilliant
brilliant advice and isn't it interesting how it's kind of
like my story with my employee and his mother,
right? Exactly the same kind of scenario,
(28:39):
and when you put yourself in their shoes and find out
what's really at the root of it,
this is how you cement people to the organization,
right? This is what you said earlier. This is how you get
your culture to morph from just a group of people to team,
a high performing team. You've got just great success and
great wisdom. One of the things I find so fascinating in
(29:01):
that scenario, w
hat would your coaching be to someone who they put
themselves in their shoes,
and they've done everything they can to make it a good fit
coach them up and it's not working. At what point do you
you share with your leaders that you coach how and when to
let somebody go?
Well, that's the thing.
Sometimes as a leader, we wear different hats.
(29:22):
Sometimes we might be a coach.
We might be a mentor.
We might be their best friend.
We might be their parent.
And within that wheel house, maybe as a parent,
you're looking at them and you're like,
maybe marketing isn't the right fit for you.
Maybe we need to put you into accounting.
Maybe accounting isn't a good fit for you.
Maybe we need to put you in sales.
(29:43):
So now it's really about looking at this person and really
seeing where would they be the best at? Some people say,
I'm good at this.
I'm good at this.
I'm good at this.
And it's like, okay, but what are you great in?
Where do you want to be?
Where does your north star drive you into be at?
And then that's where we go ahead, and we leverage them at.
(30:05):
So if you're having this conversation with this person,
and then it's like, aha,
this person would be better at marketing.
Then you can tap into one of your networks and say, Hey,
I have a great person over here who should be a great fit
in your marketing department.
That's awesome.
Are you familiar with John Wooden?
Yes.
Yeah, and so one of the things,
(30:26):
I've read a couple of his books, and one of the things...
to your point, and again,
I want your leaders to re-listen to this because she's just
dropping all kinds of golden nuggets.
One of the things John Wooden would do is when he would cut
somebody from the basketball team he would say, H
ey I've given your name to the swimming coach,
right? You know, you're not such a great basketball player,
but you look like it could be a great swimmer. And so,
(30:46):
he doesn't tell him you know you're useless get out. He's
just telling him, to your point, what are you great at?
And that's such a great...
what are you great at? What would you jump out of bed every
morning to be doing? Because you're right,
often and people call it the right seat on the bus,
correct? If they're on the right bus,
we just got to give them the right seat. They may not be
the driver. They may be all the way in the back. That's
(31:09):
some amazing stuff. What's one of the things that you would
suggest to leaders? One of the things I'm big on is self
-love and obviously personal development-growth. What's one
of the things that you share with leaders,
when you're coaching them,
that's the most powerful thing you've shared that helps
them learn to love and like themselves and help themselves
(31:30):
grow?
The one thing I always encourage leaders to do is to extend
yourself some grace.
You're not supposed to be perfect.
It's okay.
Show yourself some grace. Ease up on yourself a little bit.
We'd be too hard on ourselves.
We're like mentally trying to compete with another leader.
(31:51):
We're mentally trying to compete with another organization.
We're trying to outwork our competition.
We're trying to stay competitive so that we can become the
industry's best.
But within that,
that sends the wrong signals to ourselves.
We get exhausted.
We have decision fatigue.
We have work fatigue.
(32:11):
And I don't even go into burnout because I just work on the
fatigue.
So it doesn't get to burnout.
So in order for you not to cross over into that element,
let's focus on the fatigue,
and we can focus on that by you allowing yourself some
grace.
People tend to only say grace before they eat their food.
That's great.
But I want you to extend grace before that.
(32:32):
Give yourself some grace when you wake up in the morning. G
ive yourself some grace when it's lunchtime.
Stop trying to hurry up and eat your food in 10,
15 minutes.
No, you worked hard for that meal.
Take some grace and enjoy it.
Enjoy the time when you do go home.
Don't just go from the boardroom and just drive right into
the living room.
And now you have papers in your laptop.
(32:54):
Don't forget that.
Show yourself some grace.
And within that chamber,
you're really showing yourself that you are validated,
that's self-love,
and then you're sending the right signals to yourself.
Man, that's that's beautiful.
I couldn't agree more.
I think we're way too hard on ourselves all the time,
and that's all of us, right?
We're just way too hard on ourselves. And to your point, w
(33:15):
e are just being humans,
right? And that's kind of the deal.
It's just how it works We're gonna make mistakes,
and and I think... So,
let me ask you this and we could do this for a long time,
but but I want to ask you this (33:27):
What's something that you
share with leaders when they've made a mistake or they've
done something wrong.
How do they go back to their team and kind of clean it up?
One great thing I love about it is that when they have,
let's say it made like a poor decision,
is for first of all,
(33:48):
we tap into it one on one where we do a failure debrief.
Where we talk about the failure. We reframe the failure,
and we extract the lesson from that. What's the lesson?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry let me interrupt you, Shauntel. S
he's got another showstopper,
and thanks for being so generous. We look for the lesson.
(34:12):
I don't want anybody to miss that if any failure anything
that goes sideways or south or just flat out blows up,
there's a lesson to be had. And if we don't get the lesson,
we're gonna live it again. It's one of the things God gives
us,
right? He'll give us that same lesson over and over and over
till we grasp it. So,
thanks for letting me interrupt you. But again,
(34:32):
for you listening, there's always a lesson. Go on, Shauntel.
So after you extract that lesson,
then you go to your team and you take accountability for
that. You take the ownership for that,
and you let them know because part of being a leader,
that's leading with transparency and integrity and overall
(34:53):
accountability.
So you let them know that you dropped the ball,
but this is the lesson that we learned from that.
And when you have that type of culture,
this is the type of culture that you're doing (35:03):
a solution,
not a scapegoat.
Amen, sister.
I preach the same stuff.
For anybody that'll listen,
we're a culture that's looking for solutions not to crucify
anybody.
And at that point, it's a whole lot healthier.
(35:24):
Boy,
you've got some great wisdom for somebody as young as you
are.
Is there anything else that you'd like to...
Again, like I said, we could do this for hours,
but is there anything else that you'd like to share that
you think would be of value to our listeners when it comes
to terms of leadership and or love?
Once again, I think that we all are learning something.
(35:47):
You're never going to know it all.
So the one thing I would like to share with the leaders
today is to do that reverse mentorship.
Find somebody who's on the other spectrum as you.
If you're a Gen Z'er,
combine yourself with somebody from a silent generation or
a baby boomer.
If you're a silent generation baby boomer,
(36:08):
hook yourself up with the millennial or a Gen Z'er.
And that's now going to be your partner,
your partner in crime, your partner in rhyme.
And you guys can really come up with a lot of different
innovative techniques so that you can pivot your
organization to be a model of best practices.
Oh my gosh, this has just been so, so beautiful.
(36:30):
I I'd like to ask you,
so I have a couple questions that I always end with,
and one of them is what's a book that you like to share
with your listeners. And so,
I'd like you to share your book specifically again the
title of your book, please.
Yeah.
The title of my book,
it is called Influence Yourself and Leadership & Life.
And this is my author's copy, but this is the book.
(36:53):
And within the book, it's not just like a read.
This is something for you to have a notebook with.
I ask a lot of questions.
Everybody can not be getting a one-on-one coaching with me.
Everybody may not be able to be in the Next Level L
eadership Lab, but now you have the book.
So within the book, this is tapping into my knowledge.
(37:15):
Now you're able to hack into me real time on your own time.
So, I'm going to ask some questions, answer it, dissect it,
put the book down.
And I'm asking people to apply stuff in real time.
So by the time you put down the book,
you will be a different person from when you purchased the
book.
And that's just it.
Hey man, I
love you. I wish you weren't so darn far away so I can hug
(37:39):
you. I can tell you that she just said something. I highly
recommend you go get her book. I'm actually going to twist
your arm when this calls off I
want an autographed edition, but I can tell you that one of the things she said is and that's the truth.
Okay.
You can read something but until you take action you don't know you haven't experienced it, right? I can tell you about the best pork chops I've ever had, but until I take you to that restaurant and you have them, you'll never know.
(38:06):
And,
she just and she just gave you great wisdom. For our listeners, I
would highly recommend you get her book and take the
action, answer the questions. When I read a book, I
dog ear the pages. I use a highlighter. I have a
conversation with the author. If the author tells me to
answer a question or fill in the blanks,
all my books look like they've been beaten up. But
because I'm having interaction with them, right?
(38:27):
I'm not just reading the book to be able to, Y
eah I read Shauntel's book and then you boast about it. I
read Shauntel's book.
and this
is I like to tell people, even if they get one thing out of your book that moves them forward one step forward and being a better leader. So, the next thing I want to ask you, one of my final questions is, what do you love most about the work you do, Shauntel? And it's clear that you're passionate, and you're very good at it. What do you love most about helping leaders?
(38:57):
The,
what I love most about helping leaders is that I know I'm
not just helping them.
I know that I'm reaching their team,
the individuals that are there now and the individuals that
are there to come.
It's like that domino effect.
I touched that one domino and then boom,
it trickles all the way down.
And that's what I love to do.
(39:17):
It's inspirational, it's heartfelt,
and my mission is in my message.
And I love to spread that message.
Amen, you rock.
I couldn't agree with you more.
And it's really, I feel you.
You know what I mean?
I mean, that's the truth of who you are being.
And I think that's very powerful.
I think leaders need to realize who are you being, right?
(39:39):
Who are you showing up as?
And you're showing up as the real deal.
You're showing up playing from your heart.
And I also love that.
And leaders, I want you to catch this.
She calls it the domino effect.
I call it the downstream.
We don't always know the full impact.
If we did, I believe we're not supposed to know, right?
If we knew the full impact of our downstream,
our head would be so big, we couldn't get it out the door.
(40:01):
That's why God leaves it to him.
I give it, you know, that downstream's his.
But we do what we can,
knowing that impact on that leader is gonna go downstream.
Man, I love your heart, Shauntel.
I love your heart.
What a blessing you've been to show up today.
Out of the blue, you found us.
And thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you, this has just been,
I got chills going through me, man.
This has been on fire.
(40:21):
So before we go, I want everybody,
and for those of you that are listening and not watching,
you gotta find this and watch it because Shauntel's just
got the most beautiful smile.
When she smiles, she lights up.
But Shauntel, how can people get in touch with you?
People can get in touch with me by just sending me a quick
email.
My email address is Shauntel.
That
is S-H-A-U-N-T, as in Terry, E-L @wishingyouwellinlife.org.
(40:52):
That's awesome.
And we're going to put that in the meeting notes.
We've also got the the link to get her book.
So that's going to be in the meeting notes as well.
So feel free to reach out to Shauntel. And I can tell you,
she's just a mass of wise,
wise things for leaders to know and to practice.
And so don't hesitate to reach out to her. Shauntel, again,
(41:14):
from the bottom of my heart,
thank you for doing what you do to change the world and
make it a better place.
I love you, and enjoy the rest of your day.
Love you, too.
Thank you so much.
Thanks again for joining us and listening to this episode
of Leadership and Love.
I would like to challenge you to ask yourself what's one
thing that you heard today that you can implement
(41:34):
immediately to improve your leadership and accelerate your
growth.
If you've gotten value out of this episode or learned
something that you can implement today,
we'd ask that you please share it with those that you care
about.
Our goal is to create more leaders who are leading with
love.
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