Untigering with Iris Chen

In this week's episode I sit down with Iris Chen, a peaceful parenting coach, unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. In her book, "Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent," Iris describes how she started out as a (stereo-) typical Asian tiger mom, whose goal was to raise obedient and high-achieving children. However, her attempts to control and mold her children only led to constant tantrums and escalating conflict, and she soon realized something needed to change - and it wasn’t her children. Through her writing and speaking, Iris shares her journey of healing and shifting from power-over to power-with in her relationship with her children. Her mission is to inspire and support others to make the shift, especially among Asian communities. In our conversation we try to unpack how us first and second generation children of Tiger Parents (you don't have to be Asian to have experienced a strict, authoritarian upbringing!) can work on making better, or at least less fear-based, choices than those made by our parents & grand-parents. We also discuss and try to reconcile the practice of "filial piety," the traditional Chinese-Confucian virtue of showing love and respect for your parents and elders, while trying to Untiger and move away from some of the more harmful parenting practices and value-systems we have inherited from these same elders. And although we end with discussing Iris' work and ethics around unschooling, it is just a small glimpse of her larger vision for cultural transformation, communal healing, and collective liberation. To learn more about Iris and her work please visit her website at https://untigering.com/