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August 27, 2025 51 mins

In this powerful episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz expose the brutal reality of living under constant criticism and reveal the mental framework that saved their sanity. For the first time, they share why they almost didn't start this podcast – paralyzed by fear of opinions – and how one harsh comment from a stranger about their vacation nearly derailed their confidence. Laura opens up about her unshakeable ability to see past cruel comments to the pain behind them, while Carl admits to DMing his haters (and why he stopped). They discuss the shocking science that your brain processes criticism like physical pain, why it takes 5 positive interactions to heal from 1 insult, and the "Access to Influence Filter" that changed everything. From the MLB player who wept on the field after an insult about his deceased mother to JK Rowling's 12 rejections before Harry Potter, this conversation reveals how the wrong feedback can imprison you while the right feedback can launch your destiny. Whether you're drowning in family criticism, paralyzed by social media comments, or trying to protect your kids from a harsh world, this episode offers the exact tools to stay soft-hearted without being destroyed.

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Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

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Supported by God Behind Bars

https://godbehindbars.com

Supported by Plana

https://plana.org/

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 - The Science: Your Brain Treats Criticism Like Physical Pain

06:52 - Why We Almost Didn't Start This Podcast (Fear of Opinions)

10:21 - The Vacation Photo That Triggered 1000 Critics

15:31 - God Behind Bars Partnership

16:08 - "You're Not Soft, You're Human" - The MLB Player Who Broke Down

19:27 - The 5-to-1 Rule: Why Criticism Hits Harder Than Praise

24:15 - Laura's Superpower: Seeing Past Comments to Pain

29:33 - Plana.org: Help for the Unexpected

30:14 - The Access to Influence Filter (5 Questions That Changed Everything)

35:48 - JK Rowling's 12 Rejections & Pharrell's "Happy" Almost Never Happened

40:22 - "Don't Prepare Kids for YOUR Negative World" - The Parenting Truth

45:36 - Why Carl Used to DM His Haters (And What Made Him Stop)

50:18 - Building Boundaries: You Don't Have to Drink Every Opinion Offered

53:41 - The Final Truth: Critics in the Stands vs Players on the Field

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