In this raw and essential episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz delivers the uncomfortable truths every man needs to hear after betraying his marriage. Drawing from his own journey through infidelity and the reconstruction of his marriage with Laura, Carl breaks down the exact roadmap that works - and exposes what doesn't. From why you should embrace lie detector tests to the power of having zero secrets, zero private conversations, and zero contact with anyone who threatens your marriage, this episode is a masterclass in accountability. Carl reveals why forgiveness took Laura three years to give (and why he didn't need it to do the work), the 24-hour grace period they instituted for catching lies, and why your response to her triggers determines everything. He shares the canned response that saved him: "I hear you, I'm sorry, I'm not going anywhere." Whether you're dealing with a full disclosure, learning patience proportional to your years of deception, or understanding why "water under the bridge" is permanently off limits, this episode provides the blueprint for men serious about redemption. Warning: This episode will challenge men who want reconciliation without radical transparency and may trigger those still hiding behind privacy in marriage.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com
Supported by Plana https://plana.org/
Chapters:
00:00 - Intro
00:49 - The Question Every Betrayer Asks
03:18 - What You CAN'T Do (Force, Heal, Convince)
05:44 - You're Not Looking For Forgiveness
08:01 - Laura: "It Took Me 3 Years To Forgive"
09:32 - The Full Disclosure Requirement
12:39 - Step 1: Be Honest About Everything
16:39 - The 24-Hour Grace Period For Lies
19:03 - Step 2: Zero Contact With The Qualifier
22:54 - God Behind Bars Partnership
28:41 - Step 3: No Private Conversations Ever
32:39 - Step 4: Patience With The Past (18-36 Months)
36:27 - Step 5: Extreme Grace When She's Triggered
39:55 - "I Hear You, I'm Sorry, I'm Not Going Anywhere"
42:07 - Plana.org Partnership
42:52 - Step 6: Live With Zero Secrets
49:27 - Why Lie Detectors Are Your Friend
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