August 20, 2025 • 23 mins
Beyond Chicken Nuggets
If you’ve ever bribed your kid with dessert, begged them to “just take one bite,” or watched them live exclusively on goldfish crackers… this one’s for you. 🙋♀️
In this week’s Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast, we’re joined by Jacqueline Stern, registered dietitian and founder of Annapolis Nutrition, who helps parents take the stress out of mealtimes.
We talk about: 👉 Why picky eating happens (and when it’s more than just a phase) 👉 How to stop food battles before they start 👉 Packing stress-free snacks for school, camp, and playdates 👉 The simple mantra every parent needs: one bite at a time
Mealtime doesn’t have to be a battlefield. Tune in and discover how to raise confident, healthy eaters without losing your sanity.
🎧 Listen Now
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Raising Healthy EatersWelcome back to the Mothers of Boys Survival
Guide, the podcast for moms deep in the trenches, raising boys with grit, grace, and a whole lot of
snack wrappers under the couch cushions. I’m Suzy Shaw — boy mom, author, and believer that
“eat three bites” counts as a win some nights.I’m Cheryl Bohn, mom of four, including one
(00:31):
always-hungry son. I’m so excited to introduce today’s guest, Jacqueline Stern — a registered
dietician and the founder of Annapolis Nutrition.Jacqueline works with families to take the
stress out of mealtime and help parents raise healthy, confident eaters without guilt, bribes,
or battles. She’s here to help us understand the “why” behind picky eating and how to address
(00:56):
it without totally disrupting your household.Jacqueline Stern: Hi! I’m so happy to be here.
Well, this is such an important topic, and it's something that so many families and moms struggle
with. I had 4 children, as I mentioned, and I found that there were multiple challenges with
(01:18):
4 kids getting everybody to like the same thing.And then working full time and having 4 kids,
you know, it definitely takes more time to prep healthy meals, I think. And so having the time to
do that. And then, you know, I have one daughter who was really sensitive to texture in her food.
(01:41):
So she was so particular about that. So I just feel like every kid's different,
and this is something that I think all of our moms out there could use a little help in navigating.
So absolutely, I feel like it's such a challenge and there's so many pressures that parents have
these days, especially with feeding their kids.So Jacqueline, I wrote a book, and I share tips
(02:07):
for raising boys who I call Ernest and Exuberance. And, you know, as typical,
they were day and night when it came to eating too. And my older son, Ernest, was a really
good eater until my younger son showed up.And then sort of somewhere around that point,
(02:27):
where Exuberance was moving around and stealing his toys, you know,
Ernest became a really bad eater. And he would do—he was such a kind, polite kid—but you would
give him food and he would just wave his little hand and say, “No thank you, no thank you.”
(02:47):
And it was really, really hard. So, you know, what do you recommend when you have
those sort of encounters?Understanding Pressure
and the “Perfect Plate” MythJacqueline: Yeah, absolutely.
So I think it's really common for parents, first of all, to recognize that there's so
much pressure out there in terms of how we feed our children and also what we feed our children.
(03:07):
And those pressures help cause the parents to be a little bit stressed because we're always worried,
like, are our kids getting enough? Are we doing a good job feeding them?
So I think it's really important to, first of all, recognize that pressure that the parents
feel could really translate into the pressure that the kids feel. And so we really want to overall
(03:31):
recognize that there is no perfect plate. Like, the perfect plate is a big myth, and we really
need to set up an environment where our children feel safe and comfortable with food and eating.
It is the parent's job to decide what they're going to feed their child, where they're going to
feed their child, and when they're going to feed their child. And this is especially important to
(03:56):
set up in early childhood. So even when the child first starts being introduced to solids and then
moving into toddlerhood, it's really important for the parents to understand: okay, it's my job to
offer. It's my child's job to decide if they're going to eat and how much they're going to eat.
(04:16):
And when those two lines are, like, interrupted, that's sometimes when child feeding concerns can
arise. I feel like as parents, we feel like we have to feed our children a certain amount
so they get, like, this perfect nutritional profile. And we get really worried if our kids
are not eating enough in terms of what we think is enough. And that can sometimes cause friction.
(04:40):
It's really the parent's job to offer a variety of food and create a space that's
pleasurable and positive for the child. And then what if the child does throw their
hands up and say, “No, no, no”—what should we do?And as parents, I recommend trying to ignore it as
much as possible and know that you are doing your job if you feed your child consistent meals and
(05:05):
snacks, and then let their body and their internal signals decide how much to eat and when to eat.
And if they don't eat, do you keep them at the table until they eat something?
So I do not recommend that. Actually, I think that if you're a parent and your child doesn't eat,
(05:26):
then you can just say, “Okay, we'll just have to eat again at your next meal or snack time.”
Yeah, that makes sense. I think we did leave my daughter at the table once for about two hours,
and then we realized that didn't work.Yeah. I have a memory of lima beans
at the table when I was younger, being forced to eat them. And the problem is,
(05:48):
it just doesn't—it may help in that one moment and it may, the child then, like in my situation,
yeah, maybe finally after two hours I ate the lima beans. But we have to think about as a
parent, like, what is our long-term goal?And so when we just try to get them to eat
that broccoli or those lima beans or whatever it might be, we're really just impacting that
(06:12):
one moment in time. But we want to create a safe space for children so that they can really develop
confidence. And it's a learning process.Yeah, that's great advice. You want to
make the experience enjoyable and pleasant and not stressful.
Yes.So is
there anything that you wish every mom knew about childhood nutrition? I know that's a big question.
Jacqueline (06:38):
It would honestly be to stop talking about food. And I would recommend to serve in
silence. Do not talk about what the children are eating or how much they are eating, but instead
focus on connecting with your children.Sometimes we get so caught up in our
(07:00):
responsibilities as parents to nourish our children. And I think that if there can be
less focus on the nourishment specifically and more focus on the connection at mealtime,
that can be really valuable.You know, for my picky eater, Ernest,
there was just a lot of anxiety around eating. And I feel like it was both physical and emotional
(07:27):
because he had really, really big tonsils. They called them hugging tonsils, not kissing,
but just hugging. They were so big. And he would gag. And so he had this fear of gagging.
And, you know, my husband on top of that is the 7th of 9. So he came from a very, very big family.
(07:50):
And the thought for my husband that we had a child that was going to refuse to eat what was
on his plate was really, really difficult.And it became this power struggle. And,
you know, our pediatrician said, “You know, kids don't starve themselves.” Is that typical?
(08:11):
Yes, there are so many good points that you bring up here. And I just feel like the first one
that comes to my mind is our individual feeding experiences, so us as parents—how were we brought
up with food and eating, what was our access to food like, and how did our parents feed us?
I feel like a lot of times when I work with clients, they come in and they either recognize
(08:38):
that the way they were brought up with food is something they want to learn more about
because they want to improve the way they feed their children. So definitely, I'm glad you
pointed out that the way that we're brought up with food can impact how we feed our children.
And then the second thing that you mentioned is this power struggle that can really happen between
(09:02):
parents and children with food, and also the stress that parents feel. Like,
we all feel it—getting food on the table, hoping our family eats, and not wanting to be short
order cooks. So you just had so much insight in that one experience that you're describing.
Do you think what the pediatrician said, which is “kids don't starve themselves, so stop fighting
(09:27):
over it,” do you think that was a valid point?I do think that was a valid point. I think we
have to be thinking about if the child starts to impact their growth. So there
are some children that have such aversions to food that they can start not meeting some
milestones when it comes to growing and maturity.So there are times where the feeding aversions
(09:54):
do impact their health as well as their psychosocial environment. So I agree—a
lot of pediatricians say what yours said, and I do think that it's largely accurate.
I do think that parents should recognize though, if they start to notice that
their child's selective eating behaviors are impacting their growth, their mood,
(10:20):
their attention span, and things like that, then it might be worth looking into further.
One thing that we know from research and from anecdote is that the more we try to
get a child to eat, the less they're going to eat. The more we try to get a child not to eat,
the more they're going to eat. And so that's why it's really important that we recognize what our
(10:50):
job is and what the child's job is. Because when the parent pushes and wants a child to eat more,
it becomes more of an issue. And the same thing when the parent tries to restrict.
So Jacqueline, when can a mom know that the child has crossed the line from being just a picky
(11:14):
eater to really needing help with the problem?Yeah, I think it's important to recognize that
sometimes being a selective eater is normal and it is something that happens with children. And
most of the time, children will grow out of it.Then there are times where we need to be concerned
(11:36):
because the child is not going out with friends, or the child is not able to go to
birthday parties. When it really starts to impact their social life, as well as their mental health,
and their emotional health, those are times where we may want to go talk to the pediatrician
and find out (11:55):
is this a problem? Also, if a child is not gaining
weight appropriately and they're missing some of their milestones with maturity,
that's a problem as well. And sometimes selective eating can be a diagnosed eating disorder. There
(12:15):
is an eating disorder called ARFID, which stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. And
so it can get into more problematic eating.So those are some times to follow up with
your pediatrician and check in.You know, it's common knowledge
(12:36):
that you're supposed to eat slowly and it's better for your digestion, right? Is that true?
Now, somehow, I don't know what it was in my household growing up, but my brothers and I—we all
eat really, really slow. Like, so slow. Friends have left me at the table. They've gone home. But
(13:01):
do you have any advice for trying to have your child take their time at mealtime?
I think the most important piece of mealtime eating behaviors is modeling what you would like
your child to do when it comes to food and eating.So if you are eating fruits and vegetables,
(13:24):
even though they may not eat them at the same meal, they're going to pick up on: oh,
this is something my mom or dad does—maybe I'm going to do it too? If you prefer to eat slowly,
then they're going to model that pace of eating.I think that modeling is really key. And I think
(13:45):
that giving ourselves grace that every meal and snack cannot be a perfect situation. We
are just doing the best we can as parents.I was very concerned that Ernest's desire to
not eat different foods was really going to impact him socially—going to camp or spending the night
(14:11):
at somebody's house. And so we didn't let him get out of those opportunities. We did push him to go.
But I would equip him with things like smooth peanut butter and a couple slices of wheat bread
or some peanut butter crackers—something that was in the realm of healthy and at least
(14:38):
nutritious—because he just wouldn't eat otherwise. And then he would become a very sad boy.
Do you have any suggestions for that stressful moment of parenting when
you're sending your child off and you're afraid they're not going to eat whatever's
being given to them at the new location?I think it's great to do what you did—packing the
(15:03):
peanut butter sandwich and giving your children items that you know they can eat and you know they
can feel comfortable eating. Because we don't want them to be in a social situation and have their
mood altered, lack of energy, and all the things. We want them to experience as much as they can.
I also recommend, when we're feeding our children- I know we talked earlier in the
(15:25):
podcast that it’s the parents job to decide what they’re going to serve.
I do think that it’s really important to serve two to three items that you know your child will eat,
because that helps take the stress off the parent and the child. The child feels more comfortable
because they know there’s food at the table they can eat. It's not all scary, unusual foods.
(15:46):
And it helps the parent know, because they feel better—maybe they're not eating the steak tonight,
but they are eating strawberries and bread.Right. You know, we did an earlier podcast
with a mom of 7 kids and she talked about eating and feeding her big family. She said,
(16:11):
“I only had about 6 meals and I knew that's what they liked, and I would just make them over and
over again.” And I was struck with, well, that's such a great idea—not to stress yourself out,
just fix the food that they really like.Yeah, I think that's great. I don’t think
(16:33):
we need to be short order cooks as parents—that can cause a lot of stress. So I think it is the
parent's job to decide what they want to make. They can plan their menu based on things they know
the children like, and they can make things that they prefer/that the children may not like. But
(16:55):
they can make those things and feel more confident in how the meal is going to go as long as you have
two things the child will eat at that meal.Jacqueline, do you have any tips for our
busy moms in providing a nutritional snack for our child as they're going
(17:16):
off to school or going off to an activity?Yes. I think it's great to plan a snack
for your children that has three items. When we think about running out the door with our kids,
oftentimes we think, “Oh, let me grab a bag of goldfish.” So what you can think is:
(17:36):
what are 2 more things I can add to this snack? Maybe you can add a string cheese and an apple.
You know, one of the things that occurs to me hearing you is that you're empowering the kids,
right, to make a decision about what things they want to eat. And by offering them more
(18:01):
choices, that’s empowering moment too.Yes, yes. I'm so glad you pointed that out
because it is empowering when you have enough food to fill you and then you can decide what you're
going to eat and how much of all of these things.I ended up empowering my kids to make their own
(18:22):
food. My picky eater—at some point I was just like, okay, you're going to cook what you're
going to cook. But I would only buy things within a range of what I thought was somewhat nutritious.
And then my second boy, Exuberance, had absolutely no body fat. He would run out of energy and become
(18:52):
hangry—like a banshee—in no time at all, because he just blew through all his nutrition that we’d
given him. So empowering him to make something when he was hungry and get something to eat really
improved the overall attitude in the house. I just want to double down on the empowering suggestion.
(19:20):
Yeah, no, I appreciate that. And also keep in mind, for parents with younger children— children,
depending on their disposition, they may not want to interrupt play to go eat. So it really brings
it back to the fact that with younger children, it really is our job as parents to determine when
(19:40):
they should eat and offer them food, and balanced food groups even if they don’t ask. And have them
sit down to eat them, and fuel themselves so they don’t get hangry, like you’re describing.
And it sounds like you said, too, trying to keep a regular schedule of when their meals are.
(20:04):
Yes, because if children are allowed to just grab snacks whenever,
they kind of- for some children- take the edge off their hunger so they can go on to
the next thing they they are excited to do. It doesn’t allow them to fully get
hungry and come to a meal hungry, which will then in turn help them eat a better meal.
(20:26):
So Jacqueline, I do hope you come back and talk with us about teenagers, nutrition,
growth spurts, and sports. I also wanted to say something encouraging about my son Ernest. Now
that he's 28, it's no longer an issue. He sort of grew out of it—but a big way he grew out of
(20:53):
it was a girlfriend. She said, “I'm not spending the rest of my life eating chicken nuggets.”
And now, in fact, I talked to him earlier this week, and they had been to an Indian
restaurant. He said, “Oh, I tried eggplant.” And I said, “Eggplant? Eggplant?! Wow.”
(21:18):
So there is hope even for the stubbornest of kids.Yes, absolutely. That's a good story.
Well, Jacqueline, we ask all of our guests to share a mantra or a saying that a mom
might say to herself as she's dealing with a picky eater. Do you have one?
(21:40):
I do. I love that question, by the way. My mantra for all moms out there is to say to yourself:
one bite at a time. You and your child are in this for the long haul. By saying “one bite at a time,”
hopefully that will be a constant reminder that eating is a skill your children are developing,
(22:07):
and it takes time and patience. So, focusing on big-picture goals to help them become confident
and comfortable at mealtimes and with food—just reminding yourself, okay, one bite at a time.
Love that. And, you know, we often on this podcast tell moms:
(22:33):
be kind to yourself. So I feel like you’ve also been saying that—as you're taking it one bite
at a time and being realistic about your goals, don't stress about it, because it
flows through to the kids.Jacqueline: Absolutely.
Yeah, and I love the way you emphasized that it really needs to be a positive experience
(22:58):
for your child—trying to take the stress out of it. I think that's so important.
Well, thank you, Jacqueline, for joining us.You're so welcome. I’ve had a pleasure talking
to you ladies, and there are so many things we can talk about in the future. But I hope
this has given people some things to think about when it comes to selective eating.
(23:21):
And thank you all for joining us today. Follow the MOB on Facebook, Instagram,
YouTube, and your favorite podcast platform. Be kind to yourselves, moms, and have a great week.
Raising Healthy EatersWelcome back to the Mothers of Boys Survival
Guide, the podcast for moms deep in the trenches, raising boys with grit, grace, and a whole lot of
snack wrappers under the couch cushions. I’m Suzy Shaw — boy mom, author, and believer that
“eat three bites” counts as a win some nights.I’m Cheryl Bohn, mom of four, including one
(00:31):
always-hungry son. I’m so excited to introduce today’s guest, Jacqueline Stern — a registered
dietician and the founder of Annapolis Nutrition.Jacqueline works with families to take the
stress out of mealtime and help parents raise healthy, confident eaters without guilt, bribes,
or battles. She’s here to help us understand the “why” behind picky eating and how to address
(00:56):
it without totally disrupting your household.Jacqueline Stern: Hi! I’m so happy to be here.
Well, this is such an important topic, and it's something that so many families and moms struggle
with. I had 4 children, as I mentioned, and I found that there were multiple challenges with
(01:18):
4 kids getting everybody to like the same thing.And then working full time and having 4 kids,
you know, it definitely takes more time to prep healthy meals, I think. And so having the time to
do that. And then, you know, I have one daughter who was really sensitive to texture in her food.
(01:41):
So she was so particular about that. So I just feel like every kid's different,
and this is something that I think all of our moms out there could use a little help in navigating.
So absolutely, I feel like it's such a challenge and there's so many pressures that parents have
these days, especially with feeding their kids.So Jacqueline, I wrote a book, and I share tips
(02:07):
for raising boys who I call Ernest and Exuberance. And, you know, as typical,
they were day and night when it came to eating too. And my older son, Ernest, was a really
good eater until my younger son showed up.And then sort of somewhere around that point,
(02:27):
where Exuberance was moving around and stealing his toys, you know,
Ernest became a really bad eater. And he would do—he was such a kind, polite kid—but you would
give him food and he would just wave his little hand and say, “No thank you, no thank you.”
(02:47):
And it was really, really hard. So, you know, what do you recommend when you have
those sort of encounters?Understanding Pressure
and the “Perfect Plate” MythJacqueline: Yeah, absolutely.
So I think it's really common for parents, first of all, to recognize that there's so
much pressure out there in terms of how we feed our children and also what we feed our children.
(03:07):
And those pressures help cause the parents to be a little bit stressed because we're always worried,
like, are our kids getting enough? Are we doing a good job feeding them?
So I think it's really important to, first of all, recognize that pressure that the parents
feel could really translate into the pressure that the kids feel. And so we really want to overall
(03:31):
recognize that there is no perfect plate. Like, the perfect plate is a big myth, and we really
need to set up an environment where our children feel safe and comfortable with food and eating.
It is the parent's job to decide what they're going to feed their child, where they're going to
feed their child, and when they're going to feed their child. And this is especially important to
(03:56):
set up in early childhood. So even when the child first starts being introduced to solids and then
moving into toddlerhood, it's really important for the parents to understand: okay, it's my job to
offer. It's my child's job to decide if they're going to eat and how much they're going to eat.
(04:16):
And when those two lines are, like, interrupted, that's sometimes when child feeding concerns can
arise. I feel like as parents, we feel like we have to feed our children a certain amount
so they get, like, this perfect nutritional profile. And we get really worried if our kids
are not eating enough in terms of what we think is enough. And that can sometimes cause friction.
(04:40):
It's really the parent's job to offer a variety of food and create a space that's
pleasurable and positive for the child. And then what if the child does throw their
hands up and say, “No, no, no”—what should we do?And as parents, I recommend trying to ignore it as
much as possible and know that you are doing your job if you feed your child consistent meals and
(05:05):
snacks, and then let their body and their internal signals decide how much to eat and when to eat.
And if they don't eat, do you keep them at the table until they eat something?
So I do not recommend that. Actually, I think that if you're a parent and your child doesn't eat,
(05:26):
then you can just say, “Okay, we'll just have to eat again at your next meal or snack time.”
Yeah, that makes sense. I think we did leave my daughter at the table once for about two hours,
and then we realized that didn't work.Yeah. I have a memory of lima beans
at the table when I was younger, being forced to eat them. And the problem is,
(05:48):
it just doesn't—it may help in that one moment and it may, the child then, like in my situation,
yeah, maybe finally after two hours I ate the lima beans. But we have to think about as a
parent, like, what is our long-term goal?And so when we just try to get them to eat
that broccoli or those lima beans or whatever it might be, we're really just impacting that
(06:12):
one moment in time. But we want to create a safe space for children so that they can really develop
confidence. And it's a learning process.Yeah, that's great advice. You want to
make the experience enjoyable and pleasant and not stressful.
Yes.So is
there anything that you wish every mom knew about childhood nutrition? I know that's a big question.
Jacqueline (06:38):
It would honestly be to stop talking about food. And I would recommend to serve in
silence. Do not talk about what the children are eating or how much they are eating, but instead
focus on connecting with your children.Sometimes we get so caught up in our
(07:00):
responsibilities as parents to nourish our children. And I think that if there can be
less focus on the nourishment specifically and more focus on the connection at mealtime,
that can be really valuable.You know, for my picky eater, Ernest,
there was just a lot of anxiety around eating. And I feel like it was both physical and emotional
(07:27):
because he had really, really big tonsils. They called them hugging tonsils, not kissing,
but just hugging. They were so big. And he would gag. And so he had this fear of gagging.
And, you know, my husband on top of that is the 7th of 9. So he came from a very, very big family.
(07:50):
And the thought for my husband that we had a child that was going to refuse to eat what was
on his plate was really, really difficult.And it became this power struggle. And,
you know, our pediatrician said, “You know, kids don't starve themselves.” Is that typical?
(08:11):
Yes, there are so many good points that you bring up here. And I just feel like the first one
that comes to my mind is our individual feeding experiences, so us as parents—how were we brought
up with food and eating, what was our access to food like, and how did our parents feed us?
I feel like a lot of times when I work with clients, they come in and they either recognize
(08:38):
that the way they were brought up with food is something they want to learn more about
because they want to improve the way they feed their children. So definitely, I'm glad you
pointed out that the way that we're brought up with food can impact how we feed our children.
And then the second thing that you mentioned is this power struggle that can really happen between
(09:02):
parents and children with food, and also the stress that parents feel. Like,
we all feel it—getting food on the table, hoping our family eats, and not wanting to be short
order cooks. So you just had so much insight in that one experience that you're describing.
Do you think what the pediatrician said, which is “kids don't starve themselves, so stop fighting
(09:27):
over it,” do you think that was a valid point?I do think that was a valid point. I think we
have to be thinking about if the child starts to impact their growth. So there
are some children that have such aversions to food that they can start not meeting some
milestones when it comes to growing and maturity.So there are times where the feeding aversions
(09:54):
do impact their health as well as their psychosocial environment. So I agree—a
lot of pediatricians say what yours said, and I do think that it's largely accurate.
I do think that parents should recognize though, if they start to notice that
their child's selective eating behaviors are impacting their growth, their mood,
(10:20):
their attention span, and things like that, then it might be worth looking into further.
One thing that we know from research and from anecdote is that the more we try to
get a child to eat, the less they're going to eat. The more we try to get a child not to eat,
the more they're going to eat. And so that's why it's really important that we recognize what our
(10:50):
job is and what the child's job is. Because when the parent pushes and wants a child to eat more,
it becomes more of an issue. And the same thing when the parent tries to restrict.
So Jacqueline, when can a mom know that the child has crossed the line from being just a picky
(11:14):
eater to really needing help with the problem?Yeah, I think it's important to recognize that
sometimes being a selective eater is normal and it is something that happens with children. And
most of the time, children will grow out of it.Then there are times where we need to be concerned
(11:36):
because the child is not going out with friends, or the child is not able to go to
birthday parties. When it really starts to impact their social life, as well as their mental health,
and their emotional health, those are times where we may want to go talk to the pediatrician
and find out (11:55):
is this a problem? Also, if a child is not gaining
weight appropriately and they're missing some of their milestones with maturity,
that's a problem as well. And sometimes selective eating can be a diagnosed eating disorder. There
(12:15):
is an eating disorder called ARFID, which stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. And
so it can get into more problematic eating.So those are some times to follow up with
your pediatrician and check in.You know, it's common knowledge
(12:36):
that you're supposed to eat slowly and it's better for your digestion, right? Is that true?
Now, somehow, I don't know what it was in my household growing up, but my brothers and I—we all
eat really, really slow. Like, so slow. Friends have left me at the table. They've gone home. But
(13:01):
do you have any advice for trying to have your child take their time at mealtime?
I think the most important piece of mealtime eating behaviors is modeling what you would like
your child to do when it comes to food and eating.So if you are eating fruits and vegetables,
(13:24):
even though they may not eat them at the same meal, they're going to pick up on: oh,
this is something my mom or dad does—maybe I'm going to do it too? If you prefer to eat slowly,
then they're going to model that pace of eating.I think that modeling is really key. And I think
(13:45):
that giving ourselves grace that every meal and snack cannot be a perfect situation. We
are just doing the best we can as parents.I was very concerned that Ernest's desire to
not eat different foods was really going to impact him socially—going to camp or spending the night
(14:11):
at somebody's house. And so we didn't let him get out of those opportunities. We did push him to go.
But I would equip him with things like smooth peanut butter and a couple slices of wheat bread
or some peanut butter crackers—something that was in the realm of healthy and at least
(14:38):
nutritious—because he just wouldn't eat otherwise. And then he would become a very sad boy.
Do you have any suggestions for that stressful moment of parenting when
you're sending your child off and you're afraid they're not going to eat whatever's
being given to them at the new location?I think it's great to do what you did—packing the
(15:03):
peanut butter sandwich and giving your children items that you know they can eat and you know they
can feel comfortable eating. Because we don't want them to be in a social situation and have their
mood altered, lack of energy, and all the things. We want them to experience as much as they can.
I also recommend, when we're feeding our children- I know we talked earlier in the
(15:25):
podcast that it’s the parents job to decide what they’re going to serve.
I do think that it’s really important to serve two to three items that you know your child will eat,
because that helps take the stress off the parent and the child. The child feels more comfortable
because they know there’s food at the table they can eat. It's not all scary, unusual foods.
(15:46):
And it helps the parent know, because they feel better—maybe they're not eating the steak tonight,
but they are eating strawberries and bread.Right. You know, we did an earlier podcast
with a mom of 7 kids and she talked about eating and feeding her big family. She said,
(16:11):
“I only had about 6 meals and I knew that's what they liked, and I would just make them over and
over again.” And I was struck with, well, that's such a great idea—not to stress yourself out,
just fix the food that they really like.Yeah, I think that's great. I don’t think
(16:33):
we need to be short order cooks as parents—that can cause a lot of stress. So I think it is the
parent's job to decide what they want to make. They can plan their menu based on things they know
the children like, and they can make things that they prefer/that the children may not like. But
(16:55):
they can make those things and feel more confident in how the meal is going to go as long as you have
two things the child will eat at that meal.Jacqueline, do you have any tips for our
busy moms in providing a nutritional snack for our child as they're going
(17:16):
off to school or going off to an activity?Yes. I think it's great to plan a snack
for your children that has three items. When we think about running out the door with our kids,
oftentimes we think, “Oh, let me grab a bag of goldfish.” So what you can think is:
(17:36):
what are 2 more things I can add to this snack? Maybe you can add a string cheese and an apple.
You know, one of the things that occurs to me hearing you is that you're empowering the kids,
right, to make a decision about what things they want to eat. And by offering them more
(18:01):
choices, that’s empowering moment too.Yes, yes. I'm so glad you pointed that out
because it is empowering when you have enough food to fill you and then you can decide what you're
going to eat and how much of all of these things.I ended up empowering my kids to make their own
(18:22):
food. My picky eater—at some point I was just like, okay, you're going to cook what you're
going to cook. But I would only buy things within a range of what I thought was somewhat nutritious.
And then my second boy, Exuberance, had absolutely no body fat. He would run out of energy and become
(18:52):
hangry—like a banshee—in no time at all, because he just blew through all his nutrition that we’d
given him. So empowering him to make something when he was hungry and get something to eat really
improved the overall attitude in the house. I just want to double down on the empowering suggestion.
(19:20):
Yeah, no, I appreciate that. And also keep in mind, for parents with younger children— children,
depending on their disposition, they may not want to interrupt play to go eat. So it really brings
it back to the fact that with younger children, it really is our job as parents to determine when
(19:40):
they should eat and offer them food, and balanced food groups even if they don’t ask. And have them
sit down to eat them, and fuel themselves so they don’t get hangry, like you’re describing.
And it sounds like you said, too, trying to keep a regular schedule of when their meals are.
(20:04):
Yes, because if children are allowed to just grab snacks whenever,
they kind of- for some children- take the edge off their hunger so they can go on to
the next thing they they are excited to do. It doesn’t allow them to fully get
hungry and come to a meal hungry, which will then in turn help them eat a better meal.
(20:26):
So Jacqueline, I do hope you come back and talk with us about teenagers, nutrition,
growth spurts, and sports. I also wanted to say something encouraging about my son Ernest. Now
that he's 28, it's no longer an issue. He sort of grew out of it—but a big way he grew out of
(20:53):
it was a girlfriend. She said, “I'm not spending the rest of my life eating chicken nuggets.”
And now, in fact, I talked to him earlier this week, and they had been to an Indian
restaurant. He said, “Oh, I tried eggplant.” And I said, “Eggplant? Eggplant?! Wow.”
(21:18):
So there is hope even for the stubbornest of kids.Yes, absolutely. That's a good story.
Well, Jacqueline, we ask all of our guests to share a mantra or a saying that a mom
might say to herself as she's dealing with a picky eater. Do you have one?
(21:40):
I do. I love that question, by the way. My mantra for all moms out there is to say to yourself:
one bite at a time. You and your child are in this for the long haul. By saying “one bite at a time,”
hopefully that will be a constant reminder that eating is a skill your children are developing,
(22:07):
and it takes time and patience. So, focusing on big-picture goals to help them become confident
and comfortable at mealtimes and with food—just reminding yourself, okay, one bite at a time.
Love that. And, you know, we often on this podcast tell moms:
(22:33):
be kind to yourself. So I feel like you’ve also been saying that—as you're taking it one bite
at a time and being realistic about your goals, don't stress about it, because it
flows through to the kids.Jacqueline: Absolutely.
Yeah, and I love the way you emphasized that it really needs to be a positive experience
(22:58):
for your child—trying to take the stress out of it. I think that's so important.
Well, thank you, Jacqueline, for joining us.You're so welcome. I’ve had a pleasure talking
to you ladies, and there are so many things we can talk about in the future. But I hope
this has given people some things to think about when it comes to selective eating.
(23:21):
And thank you all for joining us today. Follow the MOB on Facebook, Instagram,
YouTube, and your favorite podcast platform. Be kind to yourselves, moms, and have a great week.
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