August 6, 2025 • 42 mins
Do you have a son who avoids reading like it’s a chore? You’re not alone—and this episode is packed with support and solutions.
We’re joined by literacy expert and fellow boy mom Dr. Jessica Hovland, who shares real talk and practical tips for helping boys become more confident readers. From bedtime routines and graphic novels to Minecraft books and reading to the dog 🐶—you’ll walk away with strategies you can use today.
Whether your son is just starting to read or facing challenges in middle or high school, this episode is for you. 💙
🎙 Listen now on your favorite podcast platform 📘 Grab the book: Mothers of Boys Survival Guide 🌐 Join the community: MothersOfBoys.life
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Raising Readers (00:01):
Encouraging Boys Who Struggle to Read
Welcome to the Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast, where we dive into the wild, wonderful,
and sometimes chaotic world of raising boys. Whether you're knee deep in dinosaurs or
navigating teenage moods, we're here to offer real talk, expert advice, and plenty of encouragement.
(00:28):
We know that getting boys excited about reading can be a challenge.
And if your son is struggling, it can be hard to know where to start. That's
why we're thrilled to welcome Dr. Jessica Hovland to the conversation.
Dr. Hovland brings over 15 years of experience in special education with a deep focus on language
and literacy development in children of all ages. She holds two master's degrees,
(00:51):
one in inclusive special education, and another in social studies education, as well as a Ph.D. in
special education. Her career has taken her from high schools in Buffalo, New York and the Chicago
Public Schools to the University of Northern Colorado, where she now teaches future educators.
Beyond the classroom, Dr. Hovland is a proud mom to two adventurous high energy boys who are
(01:16):
master Lego builders with wonderfully unique temperaments and interests. She brings not
only professional insight, but also a parent's perspective. And she's here to share practical,
encouraging tips to help your kids engage with reading and grow into more confident readers.
So welcome Dr. Hovland. Thank you so much for being here today.
(01:39):
Yes, welcome. So many of our listeners have requested this
topic. So we're happy to have you here. And before we get started,
I just want to know what would you like us to, to call you Dr. Hovland or?
You can just call me Jessica. , and I'm happy to be here. So thanks for having me.
(02:00):
Well, before we dive into the serious stuff, I have a very important question.
Have you ever stepped on a Lego in the middle of the night?
I've stepped on too many Legos to count. Yes, we do. Constant struggle. The Legos are everywhere.
What's the most impressive thing your, your kids have ever built?
Jessica (02:24):
So I think they've built quite a bit. My older son, I actually
have asked him, what do you think is the best thing you've built? And he said that
the Lego Technic Monster Truck. It was really challenging to build and he has
not taken those apart. Those are on his dresser because they were so challenging.
(02:44):
So Jessica data from the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) can consistently
shows that girls outperform boys in reading at every level. And the
surveys also suggest that boys are less likely to read or see it as valuable,
unless of course it's Lego directions. And, and they're more likely to, you know, face
(03:13):
reading related issues like dyslexia or language processing disorders. So,
you know, really from, from your professional opinion, why do you think boys struggle more?
So I think this is a decades old problem that we, you know, researchers have noticed,
teachers have noticed, and then because its published parents have noticed
(03:36):
and are worried. It is true. That's what the data shows. It's especially true for
males of color. And some of the reasons behind thatI think from my experience and from also
reading the research is really, when you think about little boys- and I know you've
talked about it in previous podcasts and in your book- they're active and they're active
(03:58):
learners. And reading, especially sometimes the way it's taught in schools is sitting,
focusing, paying attention. And if it's hard for little boys to sit and pay attention,
then it becomes hard for them to focus and learn to read because they're missing pieces of it.
Sometimes boys just take a little bit longer to develop language. Girls are
(04:21):
just naturally sometimes more verbal and they develop language sooner. It's
not always true for every single boy. It's just on average but that also plays into it.
There's also a higher rate of disabilities generally in boys just because of the way
traits are inherited biologically. And so that also plays a little bit of a role.
(04:42):
I think there's more boys in special education and the primary need and special education for
kids who need that is reading skills. So it's a big focus and it's been for
a long time at the national level, all the way down to, to the local level.
So Jessica, given those challenges, do you have some practical tips or strategies for parents,
(05:06):
especially moms to help their sons become more confident and engaged readers at home?
Sure. I think the earlier you can start. So if you have a little boy who's a baby,
just start introducing books, you know, books, they have bathtub books,
board books, get them used to seeing them, how books work. Have them see you reading.
(05:29):
That's a big one that people sometimes forget- is being a model. So, and this is where you can also
bring in dads right from the beginning where boys are seeing their dads read.
When I was growing up, my dad always read, you know, the paper and newspaper in the morning.
He didn't really read books but we did always see him read. I never thought about it until I
was a professional. And now we read a lot on electronics and so it's not as obvious
(05:56):
that reading's happening. So, you know, I've encouraged my husband to get books read to
the kids sometimes, even though I do most of the reading and then have them see him read
a novel or a book that's not on the phone. So they know he's, they actually see him reading.
When you're reading to kids, I make it part of our bedtime routine. I have since day one where
(06:17):
we just spend 20 to 30 minutes reading and I read aloud to them. And when they're little,
it's just fun. And so they start associating reading books with being close to mommy or daddy,
having that special time, listening to a story. And so it's a great way to start.
If you don't already have that routine, it's not too late. You can still start it. And then
(06:39):
when you're reading, you ask questions. So not necessarily quizzing them, but just say, Oh wait,
what's this character's name again? Or who was this character? Why do you think he did that?
And just getting them verbally engaged as well to talk about the story with you.
So those are things you can do that are just enjoyable and it doesn't feel like learning.
(07:02):
As they get older, and even when they're in preschool,
I'm finding going, taking tricks to trips to the library and just letting them explore different
types of books and then finding what they gravitate towards. So my kids love animals
and so we've always had animal books. As they've gotten older, they like to read things that help
(07:23):
them learn. So they have become really into Minecraft, which is very popular right now. And
so sometimes they'll take books for how to play Minecraft. And so they'll read how to do things.
Both of my kids actually also have struggled to learn to read. They've had language delays.
And so I found it super helpful to provide visuals as much as I can. So picture books,
(07:51):
graphic novels, anything that- and then movies. So a lot of chapter books now,
like Harry Potter is a huge series that's come back in full force from several decades ago.
I still read those books out loud to them and then we watch the movie and we talk about,
are there differences, you know, are there,
(08:13):
but it helps them get that visual. And it's also a little bit more motivating.
One other trick is if they're a little self-conscious and you want them to start reading
out loud more is to have them read to a pet. And so they can sit and read next to a dog and the dog
doesn't criticize them. It doesn't correct their words, you know, but it gives them a little bit
(08:37):
of a companion. Maybe a goldfish or a cat would work too, if that's what you have in your house.
I think that I wish I would have, I wish I would have thought of that
back when my kids were young. That would have totally worked.
You know, you bring up Harry Potter, and Harry Potter came out when my oldest son was of that
(09:02):
reading age, the first, the first book, and he and my husband read it together. I mean, not together,
I mean, they read it at the same time and then they would talk about it. You know, that would,
that was a great tip. And, my husband, and my son got to bond over Harry Potter, right? T
That's great. Yeah. Whenever they can do that. And there are lots of movies
(09:26):
that they've now made into children's books too, and being able to connect,
like you said, with their male role model, whether it's their dad or another, you know,
older sibling, cousin, uncle, grandfather- it's just as more powerful motivator to keep reading.
So if you have a younger son, child, you know. What's the best way to correct them
(09:49):
when they're reading out loud, or do you just not correct them and just encourage them?
I think this is a tough question and you have to kind of feel out how open your child is to being
corrected, I think as well. So if they're very sensitive to criticism, it may not be something
you want to do. Once they're in school a lot of teachers will want your child to be reading
(10:14):
every night. And they'll say, read 10 minutes a night in kindergarten, read 20 minutes a night,
read 30 minutes a night. And so when they're reading for school and when they're reading
things that maybe their teacher sends home, you want to make sure they're getting it correct.
One thing that I found is kind of helpful is I let them finish their thought because nobody likes
being interrupted, right? So I let them finish the sentence if they don't self correct. So if they
(10:40):
don't say, wait in their head, they're thinking, that doesn't make sense. I must've missed a word,
which happens as they get a little bit older. So my older son will do that now.
My younger son still does not. And so I will go back and say, wait,
I didn't hear that word quite right. Can you say that again for me? Or what are the letters in
this word? Let's sound this one out together after they're done. And that way I make sure
(11:02):
he's actually getting the word correct and pay attention to each letter to sound out,
but he's not being interrupted or criticized in the middle of his reading.
Well, that's such a great tip. And my mom was a kindergarten teacher and she gave me
that tip when I was interviewing kids as a producer. And she would say that- she
(11:27):
said I would pretend to be either deaf or dumb. So I'd either say I didn't hear it
or I didn't understand it. What do you mean by that? And then they, I mean,
if you can't hear it, they're like, well, let me explain. And then they get deep, deep into it.
Jessica, what are some of the early warning signs that a child may be struggling with reading?
(11:52):
Well, one of the things when you have a young child in preschool to keep an eye
out on are speech and language delays. So any child who has any kind of speech
and language delay is considered or at risk for developing later reading delays
or literacy struggles, because they're all part of the language processing parts in the brain.
(12:17):
And so that would be- early intervention is best. So if you notice your child struggling with speech
and language, get them help into speech language therapy. That's my first piece of advice because
that can prevent reading difficulties later. Sometimes there's something called Child Find
when your child's in very young and they will help through the school district. They will
(12:44):
help provide services, but you have to be- score really low on tests to qualify for those services.
So my kids were kind of on the border of qualifying. And so we did end up doing private
speech and language therapy for several years. And so that got them in a place where they were,
(13:04):
I knew they were hearing sounds and they were saying them correctly, because if kids are not
saying their sounds correctly, they're not going to spell them correctly and they're not going to
sound out words correctly. And so that's kind of one of the first warning signs. Some parents get
a little worried if their kids reverse letters. They think, “Oh, my child might have dyslexia,
(13:27):
which is a word reading disability because they're saying they're mixing up their B's and their D's.”
And that's actually developmental. And most kids will grow out of that. So that's not necessarily
a red flag at first because it's pretty normal for kids to do that in the beginning. If they're
still doing that in second and third grade, it may be a cause for concern.
(13:49):
One of the things that you could also look for in their language is if they're flipping word parts,
if they're having trouble rhyming. So one thing my son would do in his car seat,
instead of calling it a “cup holder,” he would call it a
“hold cupper.” And it's really cute because he would say, hold cupper.
(14:09):
But as he did that with a few more words, I was like, okay, this is probably something that's
going to be challenging when he starts reading and flipping, you know, whole parts of words.
So those are some signs when they're doing that frequently and consistently that maybe there might
be some difficulties. The other thing is a lot of schools do universal screeners now. And so at
(14:33):
starting in kindergarten, you will get scores sent home for children's literacy skills and their math
skills. And you'll have a pretty good idea. And I wouldn't worry about one test, especially the
first one in kindergarten, because some students don't know how to- they're computerized now a lot
of them and the kids maybe don't know how to do that. So they have to get used to test taking.
(14:54):
But if you're noticing consistently lower scores where they're kind of at the 25th percentile or
below, that may be an indicator that there's some things they're struggling with. And I
think schools have gotten a lot better at identifying this early. But as a parent,
that's definitely one piece of data that you will get from schools that can be really helpful.
(15:14):
Interesting. If you know, I'm curious in your experience, who usually is catching
the difficulty? Is it the parent or the, the school or the teachers in the schools typically?
I think it depends. I think that, you know, parents have different expectations when they
(15:35):
see some of those test scores that I was talking about. So some parents may see a 50th percentile,
which is completely average and normal, but they may want their child to be at the 80th
or 90th percentile. And so they may think there's a problem when there's really not,
you know. And then some kids develop- develop development is a huge range. And so some kids
(15:56):
are ready to read at 5 others, not till 7, you know, and that's just the way their brains are
growing. And so I wouldn't really be concerned until after 7 years old, if they're still having
trouble with basic sounding out words.So I think that if parents, if you're
really reading with your child every day, you're probably going to notice if it's hard for them
(16:17):
or if they are consistently saying, I don't want to read, you read it for me. It might be
really hard for them if they're having trouble paying attention in school. Sometimes it can
come out in behavior a little bit and then the teacher might notice, but they may not know why.
So when teachers said to me about my son, he, you know, he doesn't pay attention.
(16:39):
He's not focusing. Andt actually turns out he was, he was just processing language a
little bit slower. And so what appeared to be difficulty focusing was him losing
his place because he was kind of a second behind in his ability to process language.
And that made it- he was missing, he was missing instruction. And then he would get frustrated and
(17:04):
be accused of not paying attention when really he just wasn't able to keep up with the pace of
instruction because of the way his brain processes language. So even if teachers notice something,
it may be not the root problem. And so sometimes it just requires digging from a team of parents,
teachers, and bringing in even some psychologists to help with additional testing if you need to.
(17:30):
You know, I found in elementary school my boys were not interested in reading. Really? They'd
prefer to do Legos. I mean, run around outside, do, do whatever. And the girls,
their friends that were girls, were very into reading. And so as a parent,
(17:52):
it made me concerned that they were kind of falling behind.
So I decided that some of it was just this girl boy thing.
So to make reading more fun right around third or fourth grade,
I reached out to all the moms of my older son and we created a Boys Only Book Club. And at
(18:16):
that time, Spiderwick Chronicles had just come out. And so we read the Spiderwick Chronicles,
which are kind of the precursor to Harry Potter, but they're just these beautiful,
beautiful little leather bound books and they have illustrations in them in short chapters.
(18:36):
And all the boys would read the book and then they'd come on over and we'd sit around our table
and I would give everybody snacks and drinks. And then we each person had to say one thing
they liked or didn't like about the book, the fairies, the gremlins, whatever. And, and that
was it. That was the end of the book club. And then they went out and they played and all the
(19:00):
moms got to hang out. So, you know, it turned into just a very, very positive experience for them.
And I did it again with my second son. And in fact, we even involved the entire elementary
school and we had, they had a little TV studio in the elementary school. And so
(19:25):
I met with the librarian and we had a contest, from the third, fourth and fifth graders to do
video book reports. And then the best one was shared to the school as sort of the prize. And,
it was just a lot of fun. It made the reading much more interactive and fun and
(19:47):
they were kind of off to the races after getting over, I think that initial fear.
Yeah. I love that idea. I thought that was so clever. And just really,
probably really motivating for your kids because of the social aspect. And I think that's what
a lot of research has found too, especially as kids get older and that social piece comes more,
(20:11):
becomes more important to them when they're in school. Anytime
you can make anything you're learning social and motivating and interesting,
I think kids are more likely to do it and get, you know, get teachers involved in that too.
I will say with some, some kids, you know, if it's more of a motivation issue,
(20:32):
those types of things are wonderful. If they actually have trouble just accessing the words,
then, you know, when they're a little younger, it can be a little bit harder because then like,
“well, I can't, I can't read. So I need help with this,” you know?
One thing that I've done with my kids that was kind of similar is because they really
(20:55):
liked animals over the summer, we would- they would pick one animal to kind of research and
they would go to the library and get a book. And then they would actually write a little,
kind of like you were saying, but write a little book of their own about the animal.
And then they would read that book that they wrote to our family members.
So that's very fun.
(21:15):
Yeah.
Okay. So this is why I don't, this is why I only have 2 readers
out of 4 kids. I did not do those things. I did not do those things.
The first inspiration was horseshoe crabs and at the Jersey Shore, which is an animal we don't have
in Colorado and most people have never seen. And so it was fun because they got to, it was
(21:40):
now they had this book that they had written. They learned so much so they could go and talk about it
with other people and, and tell other people, teach other people. And that's really when,
when kids can feel successful in their reading or any literacy skill, then
it motivates them to keep wanting to do it more or at least be willing to do more.
(22:02):
So focusing kind of like what you did that social motivation, and then also feelings
of success with literacy helps them to get more into it and be more willing to try harder tasks.
I love that you got them interested in the library as part of that because the library
(22:24):
has great programs too, summer reading programs, and we had a lot of success at our local library.
Our libraries and even during the school year, they have reading charts that they do
each month and so kids can mark off. Those are pretty popular, mark off the time. Some kids,
this is really motivating for other kids- so I have one child that is really into the charts
(22:46):
and he likes marking his reading. I have another child that just forgets and he's,
it doesn't work. The charts don't work for him, you know, but if they do work,
they're a great incentive and they can earn things too. So that's another way to motivate kids. And
the library gives out prizes for free so you don't even have to buy them prizes.
(23:07):
I had boys, you know, that were gravitating towards joke books and Captain Underpants and
graphic novels. And I was, I was worried about that. I mean, you know, all the fart jokes. I
mean, how many can you get away with that one time, right? And I also had an abundance of
(23:28):
sister-in-laws and one of my sister-in-laws gave me some really great tips at that time.
One of them was to let them read whatever they want to read, whether it's a graphic novel or
Captain Underpants, it doesn't matter. You know, the other tip that she said was turn
on closed captioning, which we did. And we pretty much left closed captioning on
(23:52):
for the majority of their childhood. And I think it made them faster readers, you know,
subconsciously. Whatever, whatever show they were watching, you know,
the words were on the screen. So, you know, what do you, what's your take on, on that?
(24:12):
I think those are both great pieces of advice. And I think, sometimes we think of reading, almost too
narrowly, you know, we think it has to be a book and it has to look a certain way. And I think
when we think about really the broader aspect of literacy, we can think well beyond, you know, just
(24:33):
a traditional book. Traditional books are great. But graphic novels have their own format and their
own- really flow, even a little bit different than a traditional novel. And so learning different
ways to communicate, and getting information in different ways is actually really great. I think.
(24:56):
And literacy goes, especially now in our digital age, goes so much beyond just reading, you know,
the black and white print. We can be reading pictures. Sometimes one of my
sons will say, Oh, I'm reading the pictures of the book. And it's true. He's reading
the pictures cause they're telling a story, you know? And so it's not that word phonics
based reading that we kind of associate, but you can, literacy is so much more than that,
(25:20):
especially now in our digital age when we can have podcasts and we can have,
you know, movies and so many different ways of communicating with language.
So I know some, some kids get, you know, stuck on a series or they just love reading
(25:41):
a certain genre of book, but maybe if you want, if their skills to advance,
you know, how do you encourage them to try to change, you know, what they're used to reading
to just kind of challenge them more? Also kind of, giving them the freedom to choose the book.
(26:05):
Yeah. I think anytime you can incorporate choice and so kids, adolescents have a feeling of control
a little bit that they can control a little bit of it, is really important. And so even,
you could still pick a couple of books and then give them a choice and they
all are meeting what you're thinking is kind of the next step in the reading development,
(26:30):
but maybe they don't know that. They're still getting to pick.
And I found that especially with boys and the researchers found this too, that
anything that has action, sometimes nonfiction,
historical fiction, for whatever reason, boys tend to gravitate towards those types
(26:51):
of things. And it doesn't necessarily have to be specific to what they're already doing.
So I just started reading, maybe a little unconventional, but I loved the American
Girls when I was little and those were- and I love reading. I was definitely a reader as a
girl and still am, and I still have the books. And so I said to my boys, “well, you know, these are
(27:15):
the books I loved reading when I was your age. Why don't we try them?” And so, I've actually
read quite a few of them now and they were the ones- they're the older ones, so their historical
fiction, but they're actually quite action packed. So even though the character is a girl and it's
about their life as a nine or 10 year old, it's the same age as my kids and the girls are all very
(27:41):
active and they're learning history. And so it's been really fun for me to share that with them,
and have that connection. Then, also see them actually be interested in what's going to happen
next because there's a little bit of mystery. So I've kind of tricked them into reading a
girl book about history because it has enough of the action. And then the other thing I try
(28:10):
to do is connect it to other things. Again, like you said, going outside, doing things they like.
One of the things I always did when my kids were in school, even though I worked,
was I would go in and volunteer to read in the classroom even in middle school, they had that
opportunity. And it was a great thing to volunteer because it was like an hour. I mean, you know,
(28:31):
even with a busy committed schedule, you can get in there, you can promote reading, you can watch
your kids interacting. And so that was, that was definitely a win all the way, all the way through.
So shifting to a little bit older child in high school, in high school, the understanding is
(28:55):
everybody knows how to read and now we're going to throw large volumes of material
at you and expect you to read it in a very short period of time. And my second son,
who I call- I call the boys Ernest and Exuberance. So Exuberance was always very good at spotting the
loophole or, you know, figuring out a way to make it work for him and he was not a very fast reader.
(29:24):
And so he, I found him once in his bedroom and he was listening to the book on tape at
double speed or one and a half speed while he had the book open, following it and reading
it. And I thought, you know, that's, that's pretty smart. You know, was that a good idea?
(29:45):
I think so. Yes. It's something we do a lot for high schoolers is find those audio books and
they've become actually fairly mainstream now. People like listening to books on tape in the
car and maybe when they're, you know, commuting, even adults, you know. I think what I love about
the idea is that he was following along with a print. So I think that's an important piece,
(30:06):
an important factor. And we use them a lot with high school students and on the special education
side, but it's not limited to that. If it helps them, it's all reading. So I think that's great.
One thing I would recommend for high schoolers, especially because sometimes kids just have
challenges with reading, but sometimes it's also just a broader language processing- is to make
(30:31):
sure they stop and take a couple of notes on what they just heard or read. And so that's one thing
I always tell my high school students. Okay, you just went through two pages, stop, get a
sticky note. What were some of the key ideas you just read? And then keep that sticky note right
in that spot in the book. And that way a common thing I hear from some teenagers who struggle is,
(30:55):
well, I read it, but I have no idea what I just read. You know, I just spent 30-minutes looking
at this article or book and I don't know what it says, but stopping every couple of pages,
every 10 minutes and jotting down highlights. Then you have it written down. Your brain's
processing it. So you're more likely to remember it. And then they have it as a
(31:17):
reference later so that if they forget it a couple of hours later or the next day at school,
when they're being asked a question about it, they have that reference.
I love what you were just saying about the sticky notes too,
because if they have to do a book report, doesn't that speed that
whole process up a whole bunch? You just go through all your little sticky notes.
(31:37):
Right. And a lot of times in high school now, they're asked to pull evidence from
different sources and then synthesize it into an essay. That's a huge skill in high school
that is worked on across content areas. And so being able to also- this is the one thing I like
about print. But you can highlight in iPads, I guess, is underlining and taking notes, you know,
(32:00):
while you're reading and just write in the text, write on it with a pencil. So then when you have
that task of going back and analyzing what you read, again, you already have it right there.
Jessica, when your child is struggling at school
and it is affecting their behavior in the classroom and also their self-confidence,
(32:21):
what can the parent, particularly the mom, do to address that at home?
Well, first, I want to say that this is just a really challenging thing
to go through. It's really hard to watch your child struggle. And also,
especially if you don't really know the reason. And I just went through this as a parent,
so I can empathize with anyone else that's, you know, dealing with that right now.
(32:47):
And reading and writing affects every single subject. So if they're struggling with that,
it's going to affect everything in school and they're just going to have a hard time.
And if it's also related to language processing difficulties, they could also be having a hard
time socially. And so it's a really hard thing as a parent. So I just wanted to say,
recognize that there's not an easy answer to this question, that it's really challenging.
(33:13):
But I think the first thing is just finding ways to help them be successful in anything. Reading,
if it's hard and it's going to be hard, what else can they be successful in? Is it music?
Is it sports? Is it something else that they can feel really confident in? Is it building
something? Are they really creative? Are they artistic? In building those skills
(33:36):
at the same time so that you're not always focusing on here's what you're struggling
with. Because one of my sons would come home and he couldn't finish his- math
is very language based now. I'm not sure if you have an elementary school child, you know this,
so that it's almost all word problems in a lot of elementary schools, which is really frustrating
for kids who struggle with reading and processing language. So he would come home with, you know,
(34:02):
several pages of math that he couldn't finish during the day. And then he'd come home with extra
reading practice. And so if we only, if we did that, my entire time with him after school would
just be reinforcing skills that were hard for him, which is not fun for me or for him. Right?
Right!
So we would limit that time. I'd say we'd have 30-minutes that we're going to work
(34:25):
on this. And then the rest of them are going to do something else that's fun,
that you're good at, you know, and then. Talk to the teachers. I had several conversations with
teachers. And if it's not really going anywhere, you can go outside- ask for
testing to figure out what's really going on. That's what we ended up doing, to be honest.
(34:46):
But then I also really looked, kind of scoured, internet bookstores,
libraries for any books that would be kind of at his level that he could feel successful at,
and once the feeling of reading a whole book by yourself is so
confidence building for kids. Whether they're 5, 8, or 16, reading an entire book by yourself
(35:09):
really builds confidence. So if you can find a book- and we ended up finding a kind of a Dr.
Seuss like book that was in a graphic novel form and it had chapters and quotations, I put that,
but it had nine chapters and he read the whole thing. And he was so proud of himself that he
was more willing than to pick up another book. It took a whole year to get there. I'm going to just
(35:34):
put that out there. It takes time to build those skills. But when he did that, he was like, “oh,
I can actually read.” Because before he was telling himself, “I'm not a reader. I can't
read.” And so changing that mindset, especially if you can do it when they're in elementary school
before they're in high school, by just finding ways to build little successes until they can
get to a bigger one, I think it is the best way to approach it. That's been my experience.
(36:00):
Even as an adult, I'm proud of myself when
my books are really big and long. Wow, I finished that.
Yeah.
So do you have any suggestions, resources, apps, specialists for struggling readers?
Yeah, I think there's no I'm not affiliated with any, you know, certain publisher or anything.
(36:27):
So I'm not, you know, definitely not promoting anything for that reason. But there's a lot of
research that's been done in reading and writing over the last 20 years. And when you're thinking
about, you know, school is really I think the main job of elementary school is to teach children to
read and write. You know, they should come out of fifth grade knowing how to read on their own.
(36:51):
And the Orton Gillingham approach, sometimes called OG for short,
is one of the best approaches out there because of the way it teaches-
it kind of breaks the code of the English language for kids who can't figure it out intuitively.
And it's hard. I mean, the English language is actually one of the hardest languages to learn.
(37:13):
So in an elementary school, they should be using some version of that type of
approach to teaching. And you can ask as a parent. I would ask, you know,
so if you're even thinking of a literacy tutor, I would ask and make sure they're using a program
that is backed by research and connected to this approach if your child's struggling.
(37:35):
From a home perspective, some things that I found really helpful are Bob Books, and these are for
emerging, you know, preschool, kindergarten, first grade, because they start with just the
alphabet and just letter sounds. They have really simple drawings so that they're not distracting,
because that can sometimes be- I didn't say this previously, but my other son does not
(37:58):
like graphic novels because he finds them really hard to follow and really distracting. So, again,
it kind of depends on, you know, how kids focus when they read. But the Bob Books are a great
place to start. And if you're a parent that also likes to have your child do a workbook
just to keep them, you know, spelling and writing, because that helps build all of literacy skills,
(38:19):
they have companion workbooks and you can find them pretty much anywhere: Target,
Amazon, all of the places. So I think that's a good place to start if you feel
like you need to build some skills, reading, learning to read skills in your young child.
As they get older, there's so many books out there now and so many choices. It can be overwhelming.
(38:39):
But I found that the schools usually partner with Scholastic. Probably people have heard
of that company. And they have phonics collections. And I prefer those because
their words- in all of the books follow certain phonics patterns. And so it's easier for kids if
they're learning certain patterns to then read those books. So basically,
(39:02):
anything that says phonics or decodable texts are really helpful for kids who are struggling.
So I think those are kind of what I would suggest more from the parent side at home. If you have
really little kids, there's tons of alphabet games and, you know, in preschool age, puzzles,
(39:25):
multi-sensory type of things that you can anytime you can incorporate that, you know, it's going to
help build skills without them knowing it. Magnets on the refrigerator are also great letters, words.
And I just want to mention that I think I'm going to take all of your tips and
create a resource page, so that anyone who's listening to the podcast can get
(39:51):
these links and recommendations in a separate resource page.
I was thinking it would be good for our listeners to be sitting
there with a pen and a paper this entire podcast,
because they're literally you've literally given us a hundred different tips that are amazing.
(40:11):
So, Jessica, thank you for for all of all of those tips- and so we ask all of
our guests to share a mantra or a saying or something that might be helpful, you know,
to a mom while she's trying to encourage her son to read or just, you know, calm her,
(40:31):
calm her heart during this period. Do you have a saying that you would like to share?
I think for moms, it would just be similar to what your sister-in-law said,
“read whatever they're willing to read, as much as you can.” I think for moms.
(40:55):
From a school perspective, you know, reading is a gateway skill. And if you can read,
you can learn almost anything. And so that's something, you know, it's why I do what I do,
to be honest, because if you're 14 and you can't read, it's really hard to graduate from
(41:16):
high school. And if you can't graduate from high school, you know, it has a whole other impact.
Wow. So this, I mean, you for our listeners, I feel that you have really empowered them
with so much great advice and so much wisdom. You obviously have so much experience in this area. I
(41:39):
know that our moms out there are going to be able to use all these things, all these strategies that
you gave us today to help their boys become better readers and more confident and and
enjoying it more. So thank you so much. This was wonderful, wonderful having you here.
(42:01):
Thanks so much for being here.
And thank you all for joining us today. Follow The MOB on Facebook, Instagram,
YouTube and your favorite podcast platform. Be kind to yourselves, moms, and have a great week.
Encouraging Boys Who Struggle to Read
Welcome to the Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast, where we dive into the wild, wonderful,
and sometimes chaotic world of raising boys. Whether you're knee deep in dinosaurs or
navigating teenage moods, we're here to offer real talk, expert advice, and plenty of encouragement.
(00:28):
We know that getting boys excited about reading can be a challenge.
And if your son is struggling, it can be hard to know where to start. That's
why we're thrilled to welcome Dr. Jessica Hovland to the conversation.
Dr. Hovland brings over 15 years of experience in special education with a deep focus on language
and literacy development in children of all ages. She holds two master's degrees,
(00:51):
one in inclusive special education, and another in social studies education, as well as a Ph.D. in
special education. Her career has taken her from high schools in Buffalo, New York and the Chicago
Public Schools to the University of Northern Colorado, where she now teaches future educators.
Beyond the classroom, Dr. Hovland is a proud mom to two adventurous high energy boys who are
(01:16):
master Lego builders with wonderfully unique temperaments and interests. She brings not
only professional insight, but also a parent's perspective. And she's here to share practical,
encouraging tips to help your kids engage with reading and grow into more confident readers.
So welcome Dr. Hovland. Thank you so much for being here today.
(01:39):
Yes, welcome. So many of our listeners have requested this
topic. So we're happy to have you here. And before we get started,
I just want to know what would you like us to, to call you Dr. Hovland or?
You can just call me Jessica. , and I'm happy to be here. So thanks for having me.
(02:00):
Well, before we dive into the serious stuff, I have a very important question.
Have you ever stepped on a Lego in the middle of the night?
I've stepped on too many Legos to count. Yes, we do. Constant struggle. The Legos are everywhere.
What's the most impressive thing your, your kids have ever built?
Jessica (02:24):
So I think they've built quite a bit. My older son, I actually
have asked him, what do you think is the best thing you've built? And he said that
the Lego Technic Monster Truck. It was really challenging to build and he has
not taken those apart. Those are on his dresser because they were so challenging.
(02:44):
So Jessica data from the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) can consistently
shows that girls outperform boys in reading at every level. And the
surveys also suggest that boys are less likely to read or see it as valuable,
unless of course it's Lego directions. And, and they're more likely to, you know, face
(03:13):
reading related issues like dyslexia or language processing disorders. So,
you know, really from, from your professional opinion, why do you think boys struggle more?
So I think this is a decades old problem that we, you know, researchers have noticed,
teachers have noticed, and then because its published parents have noticed
(03:36):
and are worried. It is true. That's what the data shows. It's especially true for
males of color. And some of the reasons behind thatI think from my experience and from also
reading the research is really, when you think about little boys- and I know you've
talked about it in previous podcasts and in your book- they're active and they're active
(03:58):
learners. And reading, especially sometimes the way it's taught in schools is sitting,
focusing, paying attention. And if it's hard for little boys to sit and pay attention,
then it becomes hard for them to focus and learn to read because they're missing pieces of it.
Sometimes boys just take a little bit longer to develop language. Girls are
(04:21):
just naturally sometimes more verbal and they develop language sooner. It's
not always true for every single boy. It's just on average but that also plays into it.
There's also a higher rate of disabilities generally in boys just because of the way
traits are inherited biologically. And so that also plays a little bit of a role.
(04:42):
I think there's more boys in special education and the primary need and special education for
kids who need that is reading skills. So it's a big focus and it's been for
a long time at the national level, all the way down to, to the local level.
So Jessica, given those challenges, do you have some practical tips or strategies for parents,
(05:06):
especially moms to help their sons become more confident and engaged readers at home?
Sure. I think the earlier you can start. So if you have a little boy who's a baby,
just start introducing books, you know, books, they have bathtub books,
board books, get them used to seeing them, how books work. Have them see you reading.
(05:29):
That's a big one that people sometimes forget- is being a model. So, and this is where you can also
bring in dads right from the beginning where boys are seeing their dads read.
When I was growing up, my dad always read, you know, the paper and newspaper in the morning.
He didn't really read books but we did always see him read. I never thought about it until I
was a professional. And now we read a lot on electronics and so it's not as obvious
(05:56):
that reading's happening. So, you know, I've encouraged my husband to get books read to
the kids sometimes, even though I do most of the reading and then have them see him read
a novel or a book that's not on the phone. So they know he's, they actually see him reading.
When you're reading to kids, I make it part of our bedtime routine. I have since day one where
(06:17):
we just spend 20 to 30 minutes reading and I read aloud to them. And when they're little,
it's just fun. And so they start associating reading books with being close to mommy or daddy,
having that special time, listening to a story. And so it's a great way to start.
If you don't already have that routine, it's not too late. You can still start it. And then
(06:39):
when you're reading, you ask questions. So not necessarily quizzing them, but just say, Oh wait,
what's this character's name again? Or who was this character? Why do you think he did that?
And just getting them verbally engaged as well to talk about the story with you.
So those are things you can do that are just enjoyable and it doesn't feel like learning.
(07:02):
As they get older, and even when they're in preschool,
I'm finding going, taking tricks to trips to the library and just letting them explore different
types of books and then finding what they gravitate towards. So my kids love animals
and so we've always had animal books. As they've gotten older, they like to read things that help
(07:23):
them learn. So they have become really into Minecraft, which is very popular right now. And
so sometimes they'll take books for how to play Minecraft. And so they'll read how to do things.
Both of my kids actually also have struggled to learn to read. They've had language delays.
And so I found it super helpful to provide visuals as much as I can. So picture books,
(07:51):
graphic novels, anything that- and then movies. So a lot of chapter books now,
like Harry Potter is a huge series that's come back in full force from several decades ago.
I still read those books out loud to them and then we watch the movie and we talk about,
are there differences, you know, are there,
(08:13):
but it helps them get that visual. And it's also a little bit more motivating.
One other trick is if they're a little self-conscious and you want them to start reading
out loud more is to have them read to a pet. And so they can sit and read next to a dog and the dog
doesn't criticize them. It doesn't correct their words, you know, but it gives them a little bit
(08:37):
of a companion. Maybe a goldfish or a cat would work too, if that's what you have in your house.
I think that I wish I would have, I wish I would have thought of that
back when my kids were young. That would have totally worked.
You know, you bring up Harry Potter, and Harry Potter came out when my oldest son was of that
(09:02):
reading age, the first, the first book, and he and my husband read it together. I mean, not together,
I mean, they read it at the same time and then they would talk about it. You know, that would,
that was a great tip. And, my husband, and my son got to bond over Harry Potter, right? T
That's great. Yeah. Whenever they can do that. And there are lots of movies
(09:26):
that they've now made into children's books too, and being able to connect,
like you said, with their male role model, whether it's their dad or another, you know,
older sibling, cousin, uncle, grandfather- it's just as more powerful motivator to keep reading.
So if you have a younger son, child, you know. What's the best way to correct them
(09:49):
when they're reading out loud, or do you just not correct them and just encourage them?
I think this is a tough question and you have to kind of feel out how open your child is to being
corrected, I think as well. So if they're very sensitive to criticism, it may not be something
you want to do. Once they're in school a lot of teachers will want your child to be reading
(10:14):
every night. And they'll say, read 10 minutes a night in kindergarten, read 20 minutes a night,
read 30 minutes a night. And so when they're reading for school and when they're reading
things that maybe their teacher sends home, you want to make sure they're getting it correct.
One thing that I found is kind of helpful is I let them finish their thought because nobody likes
being interrupted, right? So I let them finish the sentence if they don't self correct. So if they
(10:40):
don't say, wait in their head, they're thinking, that doesn't make sense. I must've missed a word,
which happens as they get a little bit older. So my older son will do that now.
My younger son still does not. And so I will go back and say, wait,
I didn't hear that word quite right. Can you say that again for me? Or what are the letters in
this word? Let's sound this one out together after they're done. And that way I make sure
(11:02):
he's actually getting the word correct and pay attention to each letter to sound out,
but he's not being interrupted or criticized in the middle of his reading.
Well, that's such a great tip. And my mom was a kindergarten teacher and she gave me
that tip when I was interviewing kids as a producer. And she would say that- she
(11:27):
said I would pretend to be either deaf or dumb. So I'd either say I didn't hear it
or I didn't understand it. What do you mean by that? And then they, I mean,
if you can't hear it, they're like, well, let me explain. And then they get deep, deep into it.
Jessica, what are some of the early warning signs that a child may be struggling with reading?
(11:52):
Well, one of the things when you have a young child in preschool to keep an eye
out on are speech and language delays. So any child who has any kind of speech
and language delay is considered or at risk for developing later reading delays
or literacy struggles, because they're all part of the language processing parts in the brain.
(12:17):
And so that would be- early intervention is best. So if you notice your child struggling with speech
and language, get them help into speech language therapy. That's my first piece of advice because
that can prevent reading difficulties later. Sometimes there's something called Child Find
when your child's in very young and they will help through the school district. They will
(12:44):
help provide services, but you have to be- score really low on tests to qualify for those services.
So my kids were kind of on the border of qualifying. And so we did end up doing private
speech and language therapy for several years. And so that got them in a place where they were,
(13:04):
I knew they were hearing sounds and they were saying them correctly, because if kids are not
saying their sounds correctly, they're not going to spell them correctly and they're not going to
sound out words correctly. And so that's kind of one of the first warning signs. Some parents get
a little worried if their kids reverse letters. They think, “Oh, my child might have dyslexia,
(13:27):
which is a word reading disability because they're saying they're mixing up their B's and their D's.”
And that's actually developmental. And most kids will grow out of that. So that's not necessarily
a red flag at first because it's pretty normal for kids to do that in the beginning. If they're
still doing that in second and third grade, it may be a cause for concern.
(13:49):
One of the things that you could also look for in their language is if they're flipping word parts,
if they're having trouble rhyming. So one thing my son would do in his car seat,
instead of calling it a “cup holder,” he would call it a
“hold cupper.” And it's really cute because he would say, hold cupper.
(14:09):
But as he did that with a few more words, I was like, okay, this is probably something that's
going to be challenging when he starts reading and flipping, you know, whole parts of words.
So those are some signs when they're doing that frequently and consistently that maybe there might
be some difficulties. The other thing is a lot of schools do universal screeners now. And so at
(14:33):
starting in kindergarten, you will get scores sent home for children's literacy skills and their math
skills. And you'll have a pretty good idea. And I wouldn't worry about one test, especially the
first one in kindergarten, because some students don't know how to- they're computerized now a lot
of them and the kids maybe don't know how to do that. So they have to get used to test taking.
(14:54):
But if you're noticing consistently lower scores where they're kind of at the 25th percentile or
below, that may be an indicator that there's some things they're struggling with. And I
think schools have gotten a lot better at identifying this early. But as a parent,
that's definitely one piece of data that you will get from schools that can be really helpful.
(15:14):
Interesting. If you know, I'm curious in your experience, who usually is catching
the difficulty? Is it the parent or the, the school or the teachers in the schools typically?
I think it depends. I think that, you know, parents have different expectations when they
(15:35):
see some of those test scores that I was talking about. So some parents may see a 50th percentile,
which is completely average and normal, but they may want their child to be at the 80th
or 90th percentile. And so they may think there's a problem when there's really not,
you know. And then some kids develop- develop development is a huge range. And so some kids
(15:56):
are ready to read at 5 others, not till 7, you know, and that's just the way their brains are
growing. And so I wouldn't really be concerned until after 7 years old, if they're still having
trouble with basic sounding out words.So I think that if parents, if you're
really reading with your child every day, you're probably going to notice if it's hard for them
(16:17):
or if they are consistently saying, I don't want to read, you read it for me. It might be
really hard for them if they're having trouble paying attention in school. Sometimes it can
come out in behavior a little bit and then the teacher might notice, but they may not know why.
So when teachers said to me about my son, he, you know, he doesn't pay attention.
(16:39):
He's not focusing. Andt actually turns out he was, he was just processing language a
little bit slower. And so what appeared to be difficulty focusing was him losing
his place because he was kind of a second behind in his ability to process language.
And that made it- he was missing, he was missing instruction. And then he would get frustrated and
(17:04):
be accused of not paying attention when really he just wasn't able to keep up with the pace of
instruction because of the way his brain processes language. So even if teachers notice something,
it may be not the root problem. And so sometimes it just requires digging from a team of parents,
teachers, and bringing in even some psychologists to help with additional testing if you need to.
(17:30):
You know, I found in elementary school my boys were not interested in reading. Really? They'd
prefer to do Legos. I mean, run around outside, do, do whatever. And the girls,
their friends that were girls, were very into reading. And so as a parent,
(17:52):
it made me concerned that they were kind of falling behind.
So I decided that some of it was just this girl boy thing.
So to make reading more fun right around third or fourth grade,
I reached out to all the moms of my older son and we created a Boys Only Book Club. And at
(18:16):
that time, Spiderwick Chronicles had just come out. And so we read the Spiderwick Chronicles,
which are kind of the precursor to Harry Potter, but they're just these beautiful,
beautiful little leather bound books and they have illustrations in them in short chapters.
(18:36):
And all the boys would read the book and then they'd come on over and we'd sit around our table
and I would give everybody snacks and drinks. And then we each person had to say one thing
they liked or didn't like about the book, the fairies, the gremlins, whatever. And, and that
was it. That was the end of the book club. And then they went out and they played and all the
(19:00):
moms got to hang out. So, you know, it turned into just a very, very positive experience for them.
And I did it again with my second son. And in fact, we even involved the entire elementary
school and we had, they had a little TV studio in the elementary school. And so
(19:25):
I met with the librarian and we had a contest, from the third, fourth and fifth graders to do
video book reports. And then the best one was shared to the school as sort of the prize. And,
it was just a lot of fun. It made the reading much more interactive and fun and
(19:47):
they were kind of off to the races after getting over, I think that initial fear.
Yeah. I love that idea. I thought that was so clever. And just really,
probably really motivating for your kids because of the social aspect. And I think that's what
a lot of research has found too, especially as kids get older and that social piece comes more,
(20:11):
becomes more important to them when they're in school. Anytime
you can make anything you're learning social and motivating and interesting,
I think kids are more likely to do it and get, you know, get teachers involved in that too.
I will say with some, some kids, you know, if it's more of a motivation issue,
(20:32):
those types of things are wonderful. If they actually have trouble just accessing the words,
then, you know, when they're a little younger, it can be a little bit harder because then like,
“well, I can't, I can't read. So I need help with this,” you know?
One thing that I've done with my kids that was kind of similar is because they really
(20:55):
liked animals over the summer, we would- they would pick one animal to kind of research and
they would go to the library and get a book. And then they would actually write a little,
kind of like you were saying, but write a little book of their own about the animal.
And then they would read that book that they wrote to our family members.
So that's very fun.
(21:15):
Yeah.
Okay. So this is why I don't, this is why I only have 2 readers
out of 4 kids. I did not do those things. I did not do those things.
The first inspiration was horseshoe crabs and at the Jersey Shore, which is an animal we don't have
in Colorado and most people have never seen. And so it was fun because they got to, it was
(21:40):
now they had this book that they had written. They learned so much so they could go and talk about it
with other people and, and tell other people, teach other people. And that's really when,
when kids can feel successful in their reading or any literacy skill, then
it motivates them to keep wanting to do it more or at least be willing to do more.
(22:02):
So focusing kind of like what you did that social motivation, and then also feelings
of success with literacy helps them to get more into it and be more willing to try harder tasks.
I love that you got them interested in the library as part of that because the library
(22:24):
has great programs too, summer reading programs, and we had a lot of success at our local library.
Our libraries and even during the school year, they have reading charts that they do
each month and so kids can mark off. Those are pretty popular, mark off the time. Some kids,
this is really motivating for other kids- so I have one child that is really into the charts
(22:46):
and he likes marking his reading. I have another child that just forgets and he's,
it doesn't work. The charts don't work for him, you know, but if they do work,
they're a great incentive and they can earn things too. So that's another way to motivate kids. And
the library gives out prizes for free so you don't even have to buy them prizes.
(23:07):
I had boys, you know, that were gravitating towards joke books and Captain Underpants and
graphic novels. And I was, I was worried about that. I mean, you know, all the fart jokes. I
mean, how many can you get away with that one time, right? And I also had an abundance of
(23:28):
sister-in-laws and one of my sister-in-laws gave me some really great tips at that time.
One of them was to let them read whatever they want to read, whether it's a graphic novel or
Captain Underpants, it doesn't matter. You know, the other tip that she said was turn
on closed captioning, which we did. And we pretty much left closed captioning on
(23:52):
for the majority of their childhood. And I think it made them faster readers, you know,
subconsciously. Whatever, whatever show they were watching, you know,
the words were on the screen. So, you know, what do you, what's your take on, on that?
(24:12):
I think those are both great pieces of advice. And I think, sometimes we think of reading, almost too
narrowly, you know, we think it has to be a book and it has to look a certain way. And I think
when we think about really the broader aspect of literacy, we can think well beyond, you know, just
(24:33):
a traditional book. Traditional books are great. But graphic novels have their own format and their
own- really flow, even a little bit different than a traditional novel. And so learning different
ways to communicate, and getting information in different ways is actually really great. I think.
(24:56):
And literacy goes, especially now in our digital age, goes so much beyond just reading, you know,
the black and white print. We can be reading pictures. Sometimes one of my
sons will say, Oh, I'm reading the pictures of the book. And it's true. He's reading
the pictures cause they're telling a story, you know? And so it's not that word phonics
based reading that we kind of associate, but you can, literacy is so much more than that,
(25:20):
especially now in our digital age when we can have podcasts and we can have,
you know, movies and so many different ways of communicating with language.
So I know some, some kids get, you know, stuck on a series or they just love reading
(25:41):
a certain genre of book, but maybe if you want, if their skills to advance,
you know, how do you encourage them to try to change, you know, what they're used to reading
to just kind of challenge them more? Also kind of, giving them the freedom to choose the book.
(26:05):
Yeah. I think anytime you can incorporate choice and so kids, adolescents have a feeling of control
a little bit that they can control a little bit of it, is really important. And so even,
you could still pick a couple of books and then give them a choice and they
all are meeting what you're thinking is kind of the next step in the reading development,
(26:30):
but maybe they don't know that. They're still getting to pick.
And I found that especially with boys and the researchers found this too, that
anything that has action, sometimes nonfiction,
historical fiction, for whatever reason, boys tend to gravitate towards those types
(26:51):
of things. And it doesn't necessarily have to be specific to what they're already doing.
So I just started reading, maybe a little unconventional, but I loved the American
Girls when I was little and those were- and I love reading. I was definitely a reader as a
girl and still am, and I still have the books. And so I said to my boys, “well, you know, these are
(27:15):
the books I loved reading when I was your age. Why don't we try them?” And so, I've actually
read quite a few of them now and they were the ones- they're the older ones, so their historical
fiction, but they're actually quite action packed. So even though the character is a girl and it's
about their life as a nine or 10 year old, it's the same age as my kids and the girls are all very
(27:41):
active and they're learning history. And so it's been really fun for me to share that with them,
and have that connection. Then, also see them actually be interested in what's going to happen
next because there's a little bit of mystery. So I've kind of tricked them into reading a
girl book about history because it has enough of the action. And then the other thing I try
(28:10):
to do is connect it to other things. Again, like you said, going outside, doing things they like.
One of the things I always did when my kids were in school, even though I worked,
was I would go in and volunteer to read in the classroom even in middle school, they had that
opportunity. And it was a great thing to volunteer because it was like an hour. I mean, you know,
(28:31):
even with a busy committed schedule, you can get in there, you can promote reading, you can watch
your kids interacting. And so that was, that was definitely a win all the way, all the way through.
So shifting to a little bit older child in high school, in high school, the understanding is
(28:55):
everybody knows how to read and now we're going to throw large volumes of material
at you and expect you to read it in a very short period of time. And my second son,
who I call- I call the boys Ernest and Exuberance. So Exuberance was always very good at spotting the
loophole or, you know, figuring out a way to make it work for him and he was not a very fast reader.
(29:24):
And so he, I found him once in his bedroom and he was listening to the book on tape at
double speed or one and a half speed while he had the book open, following it and reading
it. And I thought, you know, that's, that's pretty smart. You know, was that a good idea?
(29:45):
I think so. Yes. It's something we do a lot for high schoolers is find those audio books and
they've become actually fairly mainstream now. People like listening to books on tape in the
car and maybe when they're, you know, commuting, even adults, you know. I think what I love about
the idea is that he was following along with a print. So I think that's an important piece,
(30:06):
an important factor. And we use them a lot with high school students and on the special education
side, but it's not limited to that. If it helps them, it's all reading. So I think that's great.
One thing I would recommend for high schoolers, especially because sometimes kids just have
challenges with reading, but sometimes it's also just a broader language processing- is to make
(30:31):
sure they stop and take a couple of notes on what they just heard or read. And so that's one thing
I always tell my high school students. Okay, you just went through two pages, stop, get a
sticky note. What were some of the key ideas you just read? And then keep that sticky note right
in that spot in the book. And that way a common thing I hear from some teenagers who struggle is,
(30:55):
well, I read it, but I have no idea what I just read. You know, I just spent 30-minutes looking
at this article or book and I don't know what it says, but stopping every couple of pages,
every 10 minutes and jotting down highlights. Then you have it written down. Your brain's
processing it. So you're more likely to remember it. And then they have it as a
(31:17):
reference later so that if they forget it a couple of hours later or the next day at school,
when they're being asked a question about it, they have that reference.
I love what you were just saying about the sticky notes too,
because if they have to do a book report, doesn't that speed that
whole process up a whole bunch? You just go through all your little sticky notes.
(31:37):
Right. And a lot of times in high school now, they're asked to pull evidence from
different sources and then synthesize it into an essay. That's a huge skill in high school
that is worked on across content areas. And so being able to also- this is the one thing I like
about print. But you can highlight in iPads, I guess, is underlining and taking notes, you know,
(32:00):
while you're reading and just write in the text, write on it with a pencil. So then when you have
that task of going back and analyzing what you read, again, you already have it right there.
Jessica, when your child is struggling at school
and it is affecting their behavior in the classroom and also their self-confidence,
(32:21):
what can the parent, particularly the mom, do to address that at home?
Well, first, I want to say that this is just a really challenging thing
to go through. It's really hard to watch your child struggle. And also,
especially if you don't really know the reason. And I just went through this as a parent,
so I can empathize with anyone else that's, you know, dealing with that right now.
(32:47):
And reading and writing affects every single subject. So if they're struggling with that,
it's going to affect everything in school and they're just going to have a hard time.
And if it's also related to language processing difficulties, they could also be having a hard
time socially. And so it's a really hard thing as a parent. So I just wanted to say,
recognize that there's not an easy answer to this question, that it's really challenging.
(33:13):
But I think the first thing is just finding ways to help them be successful in anything. Reading,
if it's hard and it's going to be hard, what else can they be successful in? Is it music?
Is it sports? Is it something else that they can feel really confident in? Is it building
something? Are they really creative? Are they artistic? In building those skills
(33:36):
at the same time so that you're not always focusing on here's what you're struggling
with. Because one of my sons would come home and he couldn't finish his- math
is very language based now. I'm not sure if you have an elementary school child, you know this,
so that it's almost all word problems in a lot of elementary schools, which is really frustrating
for kids who struggle with reading and processing language. So he would come home with, you know,
(34:02):
several pages of math that he couldn't finish during the day. And then he'd come home with extra
reading practice. And so if we only, if we did that, my entire time with him after school would
just be reinforcing skills that were hard for him, which is not fun for me or for him. Right?
Right!
So we would limit that time. I'd say we'd have 30-minutes that we're going to work
(34:25):
on this. And then the rest of them are going to do something else that's fun,
that you're good at, you know, and then. Talk to the teachers. I had several conversations with
teachers. And if it's not really going anywhere, you can go outside- ask for
testing to figure out what's really going on. That's what we ended up doing, to be honest.
(34:46):
But then I also really looked, kind of scoured, internet bookstores,
libraries for any books that would be kind of at his level that he could feel successful at,
and once the feeling of reading a whole book by yourself is so
confidence building for kids. Whether they're 5, 8, or 16, reading an entire book by yourself
(35:09):
really builds confidence. So if you can find a book- and we ended up finding a kind of a Dr.
Seuss like book that was in a graphic novel form and it had chapters and quotations, I put that,
but it had nine chapters and he read the whole thing. And he was so proud of himself that he
was more willing than to pick up another book. It took a whole year to get there. I'm going to just
(35:34):
put that out there. It takes time to build those skills. But when he did that, he was like, “oh,
I can actually read.” Because before he was telling himself, “I'm not a reader. I can't
read.” And so changing that mindset, especially if you can do it when they're in elementary school
before they're in high school, by just finding ways to build little successes until they can
get to a bigger one, I think it is the best way to approach it. That's been my experience.
(36:00):
Even as an adult, I'm proud of myself when
my books are really big and long. Wow, I finished that.
Yeah.
So do you have any suggestions, resources, apps, specialists for struggling readers?
Yeah, I think there's no I'm not affiliated with any, you know, certain publisher or anything.
(36:27):
So I'm not, you know, definitely not promoting anything for that reason. But there's a lot of
research that's been done in reading and writing over the last 20 years. And when you're thinking
about, you know, school is really I think the main job of elementary school is to teach children to
read and write. You know, they should come out of fifth grade knowing how to read on their own.
(36:51):
And the Orton Gillingham approach, sometimes called OG for short,
is one of the best approaches out there because of the way it teaches-
it kind of breaks the code of the English language for kids who can't figure it out intuitively.
And it's hard. I mean, the English language is actually one of the hardest languages to learn.
(37:13):
So in an elementary school, they should be using some version of that type of
approach to teaching. And you can ask as a parent. I would ask, you know,
so if you're even thinking of a literacy tutor, I would ask and make sure they're using a program
that is backed by research and connected to this approach if your child's struggling.
(37:35):
From a home perspective, some things that I found really helpful are Bob Books, and these are for
emerging, you know, preschool, kindergarten, first grade, because they start with just the
alphabet and just letter sounds. They have really simple drawings so that they're not distracting,
because that can sometimes be- I didn't say this previously, but my other son does not
(37:58):
like graphic novels because he finds them really hard to follow and really distracting. So, again,
it kind of depends on, you know, how kids focus when they read. But the Bob Books are a great
place to start. And if you're a parent that also likes to have your child do a workbook
just to keep them, you know, spelling and writing, because that helps build all of literacy skills,
(38:19):
they have companion workbooks and you can find them pretty much anywhere: Target,
Amazon, all of the places. So I think that's a good place to start if you feel
like you need to build some skills, reading, learning to read skills in your young child.
As they get older, there's so many books out there now and so many choices. It can be overwhelming.
(38:39):
But I found that the schools usually partner with Scholastic. Probably people have heard
of that company. And they have phonics collections. And I prefer those because
their words- in all of the books follow certain phonics patterns. And so it's easier for kids if
they're learning certain patterns to then read those books. So basically,
(39:02):
anything that says phonics or decodable texts are really helpful for kids who are struggling.
So I think those are kind of what I would suggest more from the parent side at home. If you have
really little kids, there's tons of alphabet games and, you know, in preschool age, puzzles,
(39:25):
multi-sensory type of things that you can anytime you can incorporate that, you know, it's going to
help build skills without them knowing it. Magnets on the refrigerator are also great letters, words.
And I just want to mention that I think I'm going to take all of your tips and
create a resource page, so that anyone who's listening to the podcast can get
(39:51):
these links and recommendations in a separate resource page.
I was thinking it would be good for our listeners to be sitting
there with a pen and a paper this entire podcast,
because they're literally you've literally given us a hundred different tips that are amazing.
(40:11):
So, Jessica, thank you for for all of all of those tips- and so we ask all of
our guests to share a mantra or a saying or something that might be helpful, you know,
to a mom while she's trying to encourage her son to read or just, you know, calm her,
(40:31):
calm her heart during this period. Do you have a saying that you would like to share?
I think for moms, it would just be similar to what your sister-in-law said,
“read whatever they're willing to read, as much as you can.” I think for moms.
(40:55):
From a school perspective, you know, reading is a gateway skill. And if you can read,
you can learn almost anything. And so that's something, you know, it's why I do what I do,
to be honest, because if you're 14 and you can't read, it's really hard to graduate from
(41:16):
high school. And if you can't graduate from high school, you know, it has a whole other impact.
Wow. So this, I mean, you for our listeners, I feel that you have really empowered them
with so much great advice and so much wisdom. You obviously have so much experience in this area. I
(41:39):
know that our moms out there are going to be able to use all these things, all these strategies that
you gave us today to help their boys become better readers and more confident and and
enjoying it more. So thank you so much. This was wonderful, wonderful having you here.
(42:01):
Thanks so much for being here.
And thank you all for joining us today. Follow The MOB on Facebook, Instagram,
YouTube and your favorite podcast platform. Be kind to yourselves, moms, and have a great week.
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