Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker0:
The headlines tonight planet pong alien orb reeks of garlic, (00:04):
undefined
Speaker0:
gaga's gig a galactic flop, (00:13):
undefined
Speaker0:
and earth's near miss staffordshire saved by a whisker, (00:18):
undefined
Speaker0:
plus coming up we ask is the flying pineapple the new bicycle amazonian experts (00:24):
undefined
Speaker0:
say yes Those are the headlines. (00:30):
undefined
Speaker0:
Chew em up and spit em out. (00:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
Mine. News bang. No need for embellishment. Truth is stranger than fiction. (00:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
Here to do, sister. (00:49):
undefined
Speaker0:
2001. Scientists have confirmed the first detection of an alien atmosphere, (00:52):
undefined
Speaker0:
specifically sodium, raising concerns that extraterrestrial beings might be exceptionally salty. (00:57):
undefined
Speaker0:
The discovery was made by Dr. David Charbonneau and his team of socially awkward (01:03):
undefined
Speaker0:
astronomers while studying planet HD 209,458b, (01:07):
undefined
Speaker0:
now nicknamed Dave's Hot Jupiter, by absolutely nobody. (01:14):
undefined
Speaker0:
The planet, which maintains a balmy temperature of 1,000 degrees Celsius, (01:19):
undefined
Speaker0:
has been described by leading experts as basically a massive ball of spicy space gas. (01:23):
undefined
Speaker0:
Dr. Martha Winterbottom, Chief of Gaseous Observations at MIT, (01:30):
undefined
Speaker0:
remarked, It's just like Earth's atmosphere except it would instantly vaporize your face. (01:34):
undefined
Speaker0:
Local conspiracy theorist Keith Wobble claims the sodium discovery proves aliens (01:42):
undefined
Speaker0:
are secretly seasoning our planet for consumption. (01:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
First they detect sodium, next thing you know they'll find pepper, (01:50):
undefined
Speaker0:
and then we're all just cosmic scrambled eggs waiting to be eaten. (01:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
Meanwhile, the scientific community has dismissed such claims as absolute bollocks, (01:59):
undefined
Speaker0:
and continues to study the planet's atmosphere using what they describe as a (02:05):
undefined
Speaker0:
really big telescope with some fancy mirrors and stuff. (02:09):
undefined
Speaker0:
Lady Gaga's Monster Ball tour has unleashed unprecedented havoc across the globe. (02:17):
undefined
Speaker0:
Reports indicate over 200 venues have been devastated by what witnesses describe (02:23):
undefined
Speaker0:
as a pop electro-opera apocalypse, leaving millions traumatized by excessive (02:28):
undefined
Speaker0:
use of geometric clothing and aggressive choreography. (02:32):
undefined
Speaker0:
Emergency services were called to multiple locations after audience members (02:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
reported severe cases of jazz hands and spontaneous outfit changes. (02:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
One victim, Derek Mumble of Winnipeg, claims he entered the arena wearing sensible (02:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
slacks and left in a titanium bodysuit with built-in disco balls. (02:51):
undefined
Speaker0:
The tour, which grossed enough money to buy Venezuela, featured elaborate sets (02:57):
undefined
Speaker0:
including a full-scale replica of New York City made entirely from raw meat and sequins. (03:02):
undefined
Speaker0:
Health and safety officials expressed concern when Lady Gaga appeared to eat (03:07):
undefined
Speaker0:
part of the Empire State Building during the finale. (03:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
Medical professionals are warning of a new condition dubbed Chronic Gaga Syndrome, (03:15):
undefined
Speaker0:
where victims involuntarily screech ra-ra-ah-ah-ah in business meetings and formal dinners. (03:20):
undefined
Speaker0:
The World Health Organisation has classified the tour as a Class A entertainment (03:27):
undefined
Speaker0:
hazard, citing dangerous levels of theatrical excess. (03:33):
undefined
Speaker0:
1944. Britain's largest non-nuclear explosion has been declared an unqualified (03:38):
undefined
Speaker0:
success by military historians. (03:43):
undefined
Speaker0:
The RAF Fould Underground Depot in Staffordshire disappeared into a 400-foot (03:46):
undefined
Speaker0:
hole after someone allegedly lit a cigarette near 4,000 tonnes of high explosives. (03:51):
undefined
Speaker0:
Local resident Derek Spanner described the blast as a bit loud, (03:56):
undefined
Speaker0:
adding that his house had been thrown three miles into the air and landed in (04:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
a different postal district. (04:04):
undefined
Speaker0:
I was making a cup of tea when suddenly I found myself having afternoon drinks in Wales. (04:06):
undefined
Speaker0:
The explosion, which could be heard as far away as Scotland, (04:11):
undefined
Speaker0:
was initially mistaken for the sound of someone dropping their keys in Glasgow. (04:15):
undefined
Speaker0:
Military experts praised the thoroughness of the detonation, (04:19):
undefined
Speaker0:
noting that, if you're going to blow something up, you might as well do it properly. (04:23):
undefined
Speaker0:
The crater, now a tourist attraction, continues to expand yearly as souvenir (04:27):
undefined
Speaker0:
hunters chip away at its edges. (04:32):
undefined
Speaker0:
Last week, a man from Burton claimed he found his aunt's conservatory at the (04:34):
undefined
Speaker0:
bottom, still with its windows intact. (04:39):
undefined
Speaker0:
Erased in newsbang, separating the lies from the facts and throwing the former into a pit of despair. (04:43):
undefined
Speaker0:
And now, braced for yet another meteorological melodrama, it's the nation's (04:52):
undefined
Speaker0:
favourite harbinger of doom in a cardigan, Shakanaka Giles with the weather. (04:57):
undefined
Speaker0:
Transcription by CastingWords. (05:02):
undefined
Music
Speaker0:
Right then looking rather grim in the southeast tomorrow with winds reaching speeds that, (05:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
the great storm of 1703 blush though thankfully not quite enough to topple any lighthouses this time. (05:20):
undefined
Speaker0:
Do secure those garden gnomes' loves. (05:29):
undefined
Speaker0:
Sweeping across to the Midlands, where we're expecting the sort of November (05:34):
undefined
Speaker0:
chill that'll have you reaching for your woolies faster than a missile test (05:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
getting cancelled at Kwajalein Atoll. (05:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
Speaking of which, looks like Tropical Storm Zelda's distant cousin might pay us a visit. (05:48):
undefined
Speaker0:
Up north, expect precipitation with attitude, proper wet stuff falling sideways (05:57):
undefined
Speaker0:
like a drunk uncle at Christmas dinner. (06:03):
undefined
Speaker0:
Temperature hovering around 5 degrees, or as we say in the trade, brass monkey weather. (06:06):
undefined
Speaker0:
In summary then, windy with a chance of flying gnomes, chilly enough to freeze (06:14):
undefined
Speaker0:
your teacups and wet enough to make a fish. (06:19):
undefined
Speaker0:
Uncomfortable. And that's all the weather. (06:23):
undefined
Music
Speaker0:
1944. It's 1944 and things have gone bang in Staffordshire. (06:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
RAF Fould, a place where they store more explosives than a Guy Fawkes convention, (06:41):
undefined
Speaker0:
has just had a bit of a mishap. (06:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
We're talking a kaboom so big it rearranged the local landscape and gave the (06:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
nearby sheep a new hairstyle. (06:52):
undefined
Speaker0:
We go live now to our man on the edge of the crater, Brian Bastable, (06:55):
undefined
Speaker0:
who's dodging flying debris and trying to find his eyebrows. (07:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
Brian, what in Winston Churchill's name happened? (07:04):
undefined
Speaker0:
Martin, it's like Armageddon's had a car boot sale in Staffordshire. (07:09):
undefined
Speaker0:
RAF Ford has gone from ammunition depot to lunar landscape faster than you can say tally-ho. (07:14):
undefined
Speaker0:
The blast was so big, I swear I saw a cow fly past wearing a parachute. (07:20):
undefined
Speaker0:
Either that or my eyesight's gone a bit wonky. (07:25):
undefined
Speaker0:
I'm standing, or rather, clinging precariously to the edge of a crater so deep (07:31):
undefined
Speaker0:
you could lose a double-decker bus in it. (07:36):
undefined
Speaker0:
Those poor Italian POWs, Martin, they've gone from pasta makers to projectiles. (07:39):
undefined
Speaker0:
I just saw one chap embedded in the church steeple. He's lucky, (07:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
really. The vicar's been complaining about the lack of gargoyles. (07:49):
undefined
Speaker0:
The mushroom cloud, Martin, it's spectacular. It's like a giant cauliflower (07:55):
undefined
Speaker0:
with a bad attitude, redecorating the countryside in a rather fetching shade (08:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
of post-apocalyptic grey. (08:04):
undefined
Speaker0:
This is Brian Bastable, Newsbang, signing off from a place where the air is (08:07):
undefined
Speaker0:
thick with dust, debris, and the faint whiff of roasted Italian. (08:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
1835. A grim anniversary today. as we look back to 1835, when James Pratt and (08:18):
undefined
Speaker0:
John Smith became the last men executed in England for sodomy. (08:25):
undefined
Speaker0:
Their case, fuelled by keyhole testimony and moral panic, exposed class divides (08:29):
undefined
Speaker0:
and sparked a media frenzy. (08:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
It later catalyzed legal reforms and LGBTQ plus activism. (08:37):
undefined
Speaker0:
For more, Ken Schitt reports. (08:43):
undefined
Speaker0:
From the bowels of history comes a tale that'll make your guts churn and your blood boil. (08:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
1835 London, two working-class men were strung up like Christmas decorations (08:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
because some landlord peeping Tom got his jollies watching through a keyhole. (08:59):
undefined
Speaker0:
James Pratt and John Smith remember those names because they were the last poor (09:05):
undefined
Speaker0:
bastards to swing from the gallows for the crime of loving each other, (09:10):
undefined
Speaker0:
A crime that wasn't even a crime, (09:13):
undefined
Speaker0:
just a load of Victorian pearl-clutching horseshit, wrapped in a bow of moral superiority. (09:16):
undefined
Speaker0:
Their landlord, William Bonnell, a first-class creeper if ever there was one, (09:22):
undefined
Speaker0:
spent his time with his eyeball pressed against a keyhole like some discount-peeping Tom. (09:27):
undefined
Speaker0:
His testimony, delivered with the smug satisfaction of a cat that got the cream, sealed their fate. (09:32):
undefined
Speaker0:
The newspapers had a field day, whipping the public into a frenzy like sharks (09:41):
undefined
Speaker0:
in a feeding pool. But let me tell you something. (09:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
This wasn't justice. This was murder dressed up in a powdered wig and fancy words. (09:48):
undefined
Speaker0:
It took another 26 years before they stopped killing people for this particular crime. (09:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
Too late for Pratt and Smith, who died because some privileged bastards decided (10:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
their love was worth less than the rope they hung them with. (10:05):
undefined
Speaker0:
This is Ken Schitt, reporting from the wrong side of history, (10:09):
undefined
Speaker0:
where the real criminals wore judges' robes. Newsbang. (10:13):
undefined
Speaker0:
1963 In a moment of profound historical gravity, November 27, 1963, saw Lyndon B. (10:18):
undefined
Speaker0:
Johnson deliver his Let Us Continue speech to Congress. (10:26):
undefined
Speaker0:
Balancing the weight of Kennedy's legacy with the heft of his own ambitions, (10:30):
undefined
Speaker0:
LBJ charted a course through civil rights, poverty programs, and national healing. (10:34):
undefined
Speaker0:
A nation still reeling from the shock of JFK's assassination found solace in (10:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
Johnson's steady hand and subtle assertion of authority. (10:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
But was it a heartfelt homage, or a savvy power play? (10:48):
undefined
Speaker0:
A bit of both, perhaps? For more on this pivotal moment, we turn to Melody Wintergreen in Washington. (10:51):
undefined
Speaker0:
Washington, D.C., 1963. Melody Wintergreen here, in the hallowed halls of Congress, (11:02):
undefined
Speaker0:
where the air is thick with grief, anticipation, and the unmistakable scent of ambition. (11:10):
undefined
Speaker0:
Just five days after the assassination of President Kennedy, Lyndon B. (11:19):
undefined
Speaker0:
Johnson is stepping up to the microphone. He's got big shoes to fill, (11:24):
undefined
Speaker0:
a nation to console and a legacy to build. No pressure, right? (11:28):
undefined
Speaker0:
Let us continue, he booms, his voice echoing through the chamber. (11:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
He's invoking Kennedy's memory, promising to carry the torch, to finish the work. (11:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
It's a powerful moment, a blend of grief and determination, a promise to heal a wounded nation. (11:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
He speaks of civil rights, of poverty, of a great society. (11:56):
undefined
Speaker0:
It's a bold vision, a grand promise, a Kennedy-esque dream with a Texan twist. (12:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
The civil rights leaders are cheering, the politicians are nodding, (12:06):
undefined
Speaker0:
and the nation is listening, desperate for hope in this dark hour. (12:10):
undefined
Speaker0:
But beneath the surface, something else is happening. (12:17):
undefined
Speaker0:
LBJ isn't just honoring Kennedy. He's establishing his own authority. (12:21):
undefined
Speaker0:
He's taking charge, making it clear that he is the president now. (12:26):
undefined
Speaker0:
It's a subtle power play, a masterful performance, a political tightrope walk (12:31):
undefined
Speaker0:
between grief and ambition. (12:36):
undefined
Speaker0:
As Johnson concludes his speech, a new chapter in American history begins. (12:41):
undefined
Speaker0:
The torch has been passed, the future is uncertain, and the weight of a nation (12:46):
undefined
Speaker0:
rests on the shoulders of this Texan titan. (12:51):
undefined
Speaker0:
This is Melody Wintergreen Newsbang, from the capital, where history is being (12:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
written, one carefully chosen word at a time. (12:59):
undefined
Speaker0:
Eddie's Newsbang. News you can use to defend against the tooth and claw of misinformation. (13:05):
undefined
Speaker0:
And now, here's Polly Beep, our ever-enthusiastic navigator of chaos on the (13:13):
undefined
Speaker0:
roads and rails, with the latest transport turmoil both at home and abroad. Polly? (13:18):
undefined
Speaker0:
Good evening, Road Warriors. Breaking news from our time-travelling traffic desk. (13:28):
undefined
Speaker0:
If you're planning to take the express train between Moscow and St. (13:32):
undefined
Speaker0:
Petersburg tonight, you might want to reconsider your route choices. (13:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
We're getting reports of what appears to be more than your average signal failure near Bologoy. (13:39):
undefined
Speaker0:
The 9.34pm Nevsky Express has experienced what we're calling a rather explosive (13:50):
undefined
Speaker0:
delay. 13 carriages of commuters are currently experiencing severe turbulence on the ground. (13:55):
undefined
Speaker0:
Emergency services are en route, though they're facing delays due to what appears (14:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
to be a mass exodus of briefcase-wielding businessmen walking along the A-10. (14:04):
undefined
Speaker0:
And a quick warning to any forensic investigators planning to visit the scene (14:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
tomorrow, you might want to pack a blast-proof umbrella just saying. (14:16):
undefined
Speaker0:
Meanwhile, back in Britain, the M25's orbital car park is experiencing its usual (14:24):
undefined
Speaker0:
Wednesday evening meditation session. (14:30):
undefined
Speaker0:
Traffic's backed up from Junction 14 to absolutely everywhere else. (14:32):
undefined
Speaker0:
The A1 north of Newcastle has come to a complete standstill after a lorry carrying (14:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
Russian dolls shed its load. (14:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
Police report the incident is bigger than it initially appeared. (14:46):
undefined
Speaker0:
This is Polly Beep reminding you to keep calm and carry on commuting Back to (14:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
the studio where I believe Calamity's up next with the science. (14:58):
undefined
Speaker0:
That's right Polly, it's time to turn to our science correspondent Calamity (15:08):
undefined
Speaker0:
Prenderville A woman so devoted to discovery she once tried to carbon date her (15:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
own lunch Over to you Calamity. (15:16):
undefined
Music
Speaker0:
Good evening, viewers. Tonight we're looking at a remarkable British breakthrough in space detection. (15:29):
undefined
Speaker0:
Using nothing more than a modified BBC micro and a garden colander, (15:35):
undefined
Speaker0:
scientists at the Clacton-on-Sea Space Research Centre have discovered sodium (15:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
on called HD 209458b, or as the team calls it, Big Barry. (15:44):
undefined
Speaker0:
This massive gas giant, roughly the size of Wales, was found to have an atmosphere (15:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
containing enough sodium to supply Britain's chip shops for the next millennium. (15:58):
undefined
Speaker0:
Dr Maureen Chipps, lead researcher, made the discovery while actually trying (16:03):
undefined
Speaker0:
to order a takeaway curry using her computer-controlled telescope. (16:07):
undefined
Speaker0:
The detection method is brilliantly simple. When Big Barry passes in front of (16:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
its star, its atmosphere acts like a giant prism, similar to how your grand (16:17):
undefined
Speaker0:
crystal doorknob creates rainbows in the hallway. (16:21):
undefined
Speaker0:
The sodium shows up as a distinctive yellow line in the spectrum, (16:24):
undefined
Speaker0:
much like the stains on your shirt after a Friday night fishy, fishy supper. (16:30):
undefined
Speaker0:
The discovery was made possible by the revolutionary British-made Spectrum-O-Matic (16:37):
undefined
Speaker0:
2000, which combines the processing power of three Sinclair QLs and uses advanced (16:41):
undefined
Speaker0:
tizer cooling technology to maintain optimal operating temperature. (16:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
This breakthrough proves that distant worlds might be more like home than we thought. (16:53):
undefined
Speaker0:
Perhaps somewhere out there, alien beings are also enjoying sodium-rich snacks (16:58):
undefined
Speaker0:
while watching their equivalent of newsbang. (17:02):
undefined
Speaker0:
Back to you in the studio, and remember, space. It's not just endless vacuum, (17:06):
undefined
Speaker0:
it's full of condiments. MUSIC. (17:11):
undefined
Speaker0:
Ota's Newsbang, uncovering the carpet of deception to reveal the floor of truth beneath. (17:17):
undefined
Speaker0:
Undertum, 2009. And finally, we turn back the clock to this day in 2009, (17:28):
undefined
Speaker0:
when a young upstart by the name of Lady Gaga embarked on what would become (17:34):
undefined
Speaker0:
a seismic shift in the world of live music. (17:39):
undefined
Speaker0:
Her Monster Ball Tour, a so-called pop electro-opera, grossed an eye-watering (17:41):
undefined
Speaker0:
$2.27 million over 200 shows, leaving both critics and fans slack-jawed in its wake. (17:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
Combining theatrical storytelling, live vocals and stage productions so elaborate (17:55):
undefined
Speaker0:
they might have required their own postcode, the tour redefined what a concert could be. (18:00):
undefined
Speaker0:
And to tell us more about this glittering chapter in music history, (18:05):
undefined
Speaker0:
here's Smithsonian Moss with the story. (18:09):
undefined
Speaker0:
Now at this point of the evening, we welcome listeners on FM who've just joined us. (18:13):
undefined
Music
Speaker0:
Wah-ho newsbang nation it's your girl smithsonia moss and i'm here to dish out (18:25):
undefined
Speaker0:
the dirt on the most iconic concert tour of the century lady gaga's monster ball tour baby, (18:31):
undefined
Speaker0:
this shit was like a wild ride on a unicorn's back and i'm not just talking about Gaga's hair. (18:37):
undefined
Speaker0:
So, it all went down in 2009 when Gaga decided to embark on her debut headlining (18:45):
undefined
Speaker0:
tour, and, honey, she did not come to play. (18:50):
undefined
Speaker0:
The Monster Ball tour was like a theatrical extravaganza on steroids, (18:55):
undefined
Speaker0:
featuring a hollowed-out TV frame, a green car that doubled as a piano, (18:59):
undefined
Speaker0:
and a subway car set that made you feel like you were riding the rails with Gaga herself. (19:04):
undefined
Speaker0:
But what really set this tour apart was its emphasis on live vocals. (19:10):
undefined
Speaker0:
Yeah, you heard that right, folks. No lip-syncing for this little monster. (19:15):
undefined
Speaker0:
Gaga brought the house down with her powerhouse voice, and the crowd went wild. (19:20):
undefined
Speaker0:
I mean, who needs a backing track when you've got pipes like Gaga's? (19:25):
undefined
Speaker0:
The tour was like a traveling circus, with Gaga as the ringmaster, (19:30):
undefined
Speaker0:
and it grossed a whopping $2, 27 cents a million across 200 shows worldwide. (19:34):
undefined
Speaker0:
That's right, folks, this little (19:41):
undefined
Speaker0:
monster was raking it in, and she wasn't afraid to get a little weird. (19:43):
undefined
Speaker0:
But the real magic happened when the tour evolved from its original theater (19:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
version to the arena version. (19:51):
undefined
Speaker0:
It was like Gaga's artistic growth was on full display, and the production values were off the charts. (19:54):
undefined
Speaker0:
I mean, who needs a simple stage when you can have a full-on opera? (20:01):
undefined
Speaker0:
The HBO special Lady Gaga Presents the Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden (20:06):
undefined
Speaker0:
was like the cherry on top of this sundae. (20:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
It showcased the tour in all its glory and gave us a behind-the-scenes look (20:15):
undefined
Speaker0:
at Gaga's creative process. (20:19):
undefined
Speaker0:
And, let me tell you, it was like a masterclass in how to slay the game. (20:22):
undefined
Speaker0:
So, there you have it, folks. The Monster Ball Tour was a game-changer, (20:28):
undefined
Speaker0:
and Gaga's still reigning supreme as the Queen of Pop. (20:32):
undefined
Speaker0:
Long live the little monster, and long live the Monster Ball Tour. (20:36):
undefined
Speaker0:
That's all for now. Stay weird, Newsbang Nation. (20:40):
undefined
Speaker0:
Nah, newsbang. Fact-checking the phantom tales of yesteryear with unerring accuracy. (20:48):
undefined
Speaker0:
Just time for tomorrow's fish wrappers. What are they whispering, eh? (20:57):
undefined
Speaker0:
The Times screams. Ship kisses rock. Australia in a tangle. (21:02):
undefined
Speaker0:
There's a map there, upside down. (21:08):
undefined
Speaker0:
The Independent chuckles. Vietnamese emperor declares war on Ciampa over a bad haircut. (21:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
Apparently it's a mullet. (21:21):
undefined
Speaker0:
The Telegraph titters, brainy chaps form science club in London to build a giant robot squirrel. (21:24):
undefined
Speaker0:
There's a picture of a very large brain in a jar. (21:33):
undefined
Speaker0:
The male moans, oil slick causes ruckus in Australia. Government blames koalas. (21:39):
undefined
Speaker0:
And the express explodes. Scientists unite. (21:47):
undefined
Speaker0:
World leaders tremble. Is it the rise of the planet of the apes? (21:51):
undefined
Speaker0:
And that's the papers. More ink than sense. (21:57):
undefined
Speaker0:
Tune in tomorrow when we'll be interviewing a man who claims he can communicate with cabbages. (22:01):
undefined
Speaker0:
Apparently they're big fans of the monarchy. Good night and God save the queen (22:07):
undefined
Speaker0:
from the cabbages. Tune in next time for more Artificially Intelligent Hilarity. (22:12):
undefined
Speaker0:
Newsbang is a comedy show written and recorded by AI. (22:18):
undefined
Speaker0:
All voices impersonated. Nothing here is real. (22:23):
undefined
Music