Many people raised by toxic parents or caregivers don’t always recognize the abuse present in their upbringing. It’s often not until their adult relationships begin to break apart that they become aware of the abusive behavior patterns repeating from their childhood.
In this episode, I’m joined by mental health advocate and best-selling author Josh Connolly for a powerful and honest conversation about what toxic parenting really looks like and its lasting impact. We talk about parents’ refusal to take accountability, how dysfunction gets passed off as the family “norm,” and why adult children carry guilt and shame about something they were once powerless to change.
Josh discusses his use of the word “toxic,” and how emotional abuse often flies under the radar. Josh also explains his “body first” approach to recovery, including how reconnecting with your body—and using tools like breathwork—can help regulate your nervous system and make space for emotional clarity.
We tackle the popular notion of having to forgive in order to move forward, offering our explanation as to why this is not always the case, and discuss the difference between forgiveness and acceptance .
If you’ve experienced an upbringing within the context of toxic parenting, and as a result, have difficulty trusting your own internal experiences, or feel guilty for setting boundaries, you’ll find this episode incredibly validating.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Introduction
03:06 Breathwork and Nervous System Regulation
05:23 Understanding Empathy and Boundaries
07:55 Defining Toxic Parents
09:00 Emotional Abuse and Power Dynamics
12:00 Misdiagnosis and Appropriate Reactions
17:10 Appropriate Reactions to Dysfunctional Environments
19:27 The Issue of Forgiveness
24:01 The Dangers of Pushing Forgiveness
27:06 Realizing the Truth About Toxic Upbringings
32:05 The Importance of Being Held and Supported
35:13 Josh Connolly’s Book: Purpose and Content
42:06 The Importance of Truth and Authenticity
Links
Connect with Josh Connolly:
https://www.instagram.com/josh_ffw/
https://www.facebook.com/joshffw
https://www.tiktok.com/@josh_ffw
https://www.youtube.com/c/JoshConnolly_FFW
Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman
Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter
Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops
Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books
Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com