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December 5, 2025 21 mins

When your pet is declining, it's natural to feel confused by sudden bursts of energy or unexpectedly good days. Does this mean they've turned a corner? Or was it just a good day? In this episode, Karen Wylie and Gail Pope share decades of caregiving wisdom on how to distinguish between temporary improvements and actual patterns of decline.

You'll learn:

  • Why keeping simple notes changes everything
  • What specific things to observe and track daily
  • How to use photos to document your pet's journey
  • When to bring patterns to your veterinarian's attention
  • How to stay present with your pet while gathering important information
  • Why tracking both good AND bad days helps you act sooner

This practical, compassionate conversation includes real stories from Karen and Gail's experiences and introduces you to the free LIVING Quality of Life Assessment available at BrightPathForPets.com.

🐾Whether you're caring for a pet with a chronic, difficult, or terminal diagnosis, this episode will help you feel more confident, informed, and at peace with the decisions ahead.💜

📌 Related Resource: 

🌹 Join our monthly Rose Ceremony (free online pet celebration): https://brightpathforpets.com/rose-ceremony/

💬 If this episode touched your heart, you’re not alone. The BrightHaven Caregivers’ Hub is our supportive membership community for pet parents navigating caregiving, anticipatory grief, and all the moments in between.

We gather to share stories, ask questions, and care for each other as we care for our animals. If you’re walking this path, we’d be honored to walk it with you.

🔗 Learn more about the Hub: https://brightpathforpets.com/caregivers-hub/

📌Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review 🐶⭐🐱

📌About the Hosts:

💜 Karen Wylie, EdD is Executive Director of Animal Hospice Group and Co-Founder of BrightHaven Caregiver Academy. She specializes in caregiver education and emotional support for pet parents navigating chronic illness, hospice, and end-of-life care.

💜 Gail Pope is Founder and President of BrightHaven, a nonprofit animal sanctuary and hospice with over 30 years of experience in holistic care and natural passing. She is internationally recognized for her pioneering work in animal hospice care.

Learn More from BrightHaven Caregiver Academy For free resources, upcoming workshops, and a supportive community dedicated to navigating life with your aging or ill pet:

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Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes and not a substitute for professional advice. We are not veterinarians. While we do not provide medical diagnoses or treatments, we are experienced holistic caregivers. Our support focuses on helping you assess the situation, understand your options, and find clarity and calm in the middle of distress.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to Peace of Mind for Pet Parents, the podcast by BrightHaven Caregiver Academy.
I'm Gail Pope and I'm Karen Wylie and together we're here to support you in navigating life with your aging or ill pets.
We know how deeply you care for your beloved companions, and we're here to offer guidance, understanding, and resources for this meaningful journey.

(00:25):
Each episode we'll explore topics that address the daily challenges, emotional realities, and choices you face as a pet parent helping you and your pets find peace, comfort, and joy.
Whether it's making sense of a new diagnosis, adjusting to changing needs, or simply seeking a place to feel understood, you're not alone.

(00:47):
Thank you for being here with us.

Karen Wylie (00:50):
Hello and welcome back to Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
I'm Karen Wylie, here as always with my wonderful friend, Gail Pope.
Today we thought we would talk about something that can be both confusing and exhausting for all of us caregivers.
That is keeping track of the difference between a good day and a bad day for our pets.

(01:12):
When we have one of our pets declining and we're seeing that and we're ready for that but then suddenly they're having bursts of energy.
They're greeting us at the door or they're just chowing down whatever meal you've put in front of them.
Then all of a sudden it's, " Oh, they're doing so much better."
It's really natural for us to think they've turned a corner, things are going to get better but then the next day or maybe the day after they might be going back to some struggling.

(01:36):
So then you're left wondering, "Was that just a good day or was I wrong about them declining? Am I giving up on them too soon? What's going on?"
This can often be one of the most confusing aspects of caring for a pet with a chronic or a terminal condition.
So today Gail and I are going to talk about what we've learned from supporting so many animals through this particular kind of territory.

(02:01):
Gail, let's start with your experience.
How do you think about the difference between a pet having a good day and a pattern where it's actually shifting?

Gail Pope (02:10):
Wow, I think that's something that an awful lot of animals taught me over an awful lot of years probably.
In the early days, when we didn't have very many animals, I didn't have files for the animals.
I watched them very carefully because I was paranoid about how they were.
I used to work for a vet, so I was used to symptoms to look for and all of that.

(02:34):
But again, I didn't necessarily keep records at home.
I did keep them in my head which didn't really serve me very well as the numbers grew and that's when I did start taking notes.
I think it probably wasn't really until I entered the world of classical veterinary homeopathy where I was dragged kicking and screaming from my conventional approach.

(02:57):
But then one of the things it taught me is in order to be a good parent, I have to know what the signs and the symptoms are to be able to get a right prescription.
That involves a change of temperament— hour by hour, day by day, whatever's involved.
I found myself making more notes than I'd ever done before instead of, "Oh, he seems a lot brighter today."

(03:20):
I'd make a quick note.
I used to pray, see them dance, so I didn't have to write an awful lot.
Then I'd start involving volunteers and when they first came, I'd say, "As you start to get to know some of the animals, you start to get a sense of who they are.

And then you come on a day and they're different in one way in any way (03:33):
scratching an ear may be and you've never seen them do that before.
Having a burst of energy or not wanting to play and just sitting or growling at you— anything.
Just odd things that you're not used to seeing.
Could you just go to the clinic and write that down in their file?"
People would look at me and go, "You want to write in the animals file?"

(03:56):
"Yes, absolutely.
It may only take you one line.
If you want to write more, that's absolutely fine as long as we can read it.
So that when I'm talking to their vet or when I'm overviewing the situation for an appointment with a vet, I get a clearer picture of what's going on.
I may notice something today that you've noticed two or three times in the last month.

(04:18):
I haven't focused on that because I only noticed it today."
I think it really is creating the practice of observation for yourself and not filing it here but just making an odd little note.
Have a little journal or anything, just pieces of paper from your printer, but make sure that you write it down because you look back over a period of weeks and you're going to find things that you had seen but you don't remember.

Karen Wylie (04:43):
Right?
I'm very much with you on that in terms of the record keeping.
When I was raising litters of kittens, you're weighing them twice a day to make sure that they're gaining as they should, to make sure they're getting enough milk, looking at their color.
They're newborns.
They have to have a source of warmth because they can't provide warmth for their own body yet.

(05:03):
So there's a vulnerability about kittens and so I learned what to do about them.
But so many of the things that you worry about with young animals are the same things you begin looking at as they age.
So you're checking out to see what the color is in their ears, the color of their gums, the brightness of their eyes.

(05:26):
I often will be checking, especially with the cats, grabbing the skin around the shoulder blades to check for hydration.
You can do that once you know what you're doing.
You can do all of that in 20 seconds.
Just glancing at it because you know the shade of pink that you're looking for.
But if you don't know that yet, then it's going to take a little bit of time.

(05:46):
It's part of knowing what's normal, I guess I want to say.
There could be a new normal and there can be a decline and there can be a stability and you just don't know.
The way to know is to start writing it down and keeping track of that day to day.
That of course is what we did include in the "Living Quality of Life" Assessment so that there is a tracking page for people to write down anything that they're observing on a day-to-day basis to just keep track of it.

(06:16):
So that maybe it's not much today and even if you're writing it down two or three more days, it doesn't look like much.
But then when you're looking back over a week, you're starting to see it there in your own handwriting and what you've observed.
It's "Oh, okay."
That it wasn't just a one-off.
It's actually happening often.
So then it becomes something more important to watch and also then more important to bring to the attention of your vet.

Gail Pope (06:42):
Yes, definitely.

Karen Wylie (06:45):
So Gail, can you tell us about an animal that you worked with that was having good days and bad days?
What were you watching for?

Gail Pope (06:53):
Oh my goodness.
For me, the first challenge is pick an animal.
How do I even pick?

Karen Wylie (06:59):
You have to pick, I don't know all of them.
I'll go back to the same old.

Gail Pope (07:06):
Okay, so let me start with the newest animal that I worked with, which was Purrci, who died a few months ago.

So that takes me more into current memory of the things that I really am looking for or was looking for (07:13):
love connection general interaction on a daily basis.
I wasn't necessarily looking for it but I would note.
I think as a mother, you don't have to think about checking for behavior type things because they're part of the motherly instinct that you notice he's not energetic as much or he didn't really want to go out today.

(07:39):
However, again as we are saying, we don't generally think to write those down, so jotting those down I think is important.

Appetite (07:45):
Up, Down, Different?

Treats (07:48):
Up, Down, Different, What's Preferred?

Napping Time (07:52):
Sleeping More, Sleeping Less?

Behavior with Cats and Dogs (07:56):
like particularly cats jumping ability, loss of strength in one way or another, taking a dog out for a walk.
Do they want to go so far?
Do they have as much energy?
Do they just want to stop and sniff instead?
I think it's all those kinds of things.
I was watching for, well, I wasn't I guess because I'm unconsciously doing it because they're so essential, obviously, to the work with homeopathy.

(08:24):
If I don't actually jot down those things, that's the kind of thing that my vet is going to be saying, "Have you noticed a decline in energy appetite?"
All of those things, we really need to look at everything you're seeing.
Difficulty eating, any throwing up, stools— what do they look like?
Any signs of nausea?
On and on, and I think they're all things related to being a mother.

(08:47):
We tend to take them for granted instead of holding onto them.
I think when an animal is getting older or sicker, that's when we start.
But if we start a little bit before that, then we create a better picture going forward and we can address some things earlier rather than later.

Karen Wylie (09:04):
Yes, it can be more thorough.
A lot of the things that you're describing are areas that we cover in the "Living Quality of Life" Assessment which is free on the BrightPathForPets.com website so I'm going to give it another plug.
But we're asking questions to help you measure how your pet is doing with love and connection, which of course, Gail's saying is pretty much number one in what she's noticing with pets.

(09:31):
How independent are they feeling or how mobile are they?
How much joy are they taking in their day-to-day life with you, with other members of the furry family?
And of course how they're doing in terms of intake of food and water.
Are you able to provide a nurturing environment for them as perhaps their mobility changes?

(09:52):
What are you able to do?
So part of this assessment is looking at helping you look at what you might need to be doing differently too, and how adapting to the changes in your pet is really a day-to-day kind of experience, wouldn't you say Gail?

Gail Pope (10:07):
I definitely would.
Again, you have to also think that whether you are working conventionally, integratively, holistically— the pattern of symptoms that you see are what is most essential for your veterinarian.
Particularly in the area of diagnostics.
May be important to run some diagnostics based on what you are giving as a picture.

(10:30):
On the other hand, it may just be part of the pattern of aging.
"It's okay, we're doing fine. We did blood work X months ago and no, I think we're doing okay."
Very often an animal or a human will say, "We're okay" and we are in our mind, we are fine.
But if you ask our moms, they may see all these odd little things that we don't necessarily notice and they do add up.

Karen Wylie (10:53):
They definitely do.

Gail Pope (10:54):
And trust me, it's easy to learn to do this if I learned it very easily.
It was hard because in the beginning when we first started working with our holistic vets, I was totally unused to doing anything like this.
I know I've mentioned before, Dr. Christina Chambreau introduced me to homeopathy.
She showed me a Miracle healing, and then she found 24 volunteer veterinarians to each take an animal and work with them.

(11:22):
So there I was making appointments for this animal, I wasn't used to the kind of questions that they were asking so I was a deer in headlights.
So that's why I started rushing to create files.
I've got to be more attentive and I've got to take more notice of what's going on with my animals.

Karen Wylie (11:39):
Yes because you then had more than 24 most likely but at least 24 animals to be reporting on a regular basis.
You had to have those notes either in your handwriting or legible from your staff members and your volunteers.

Gail Pope (11:53):
Yes, it took some getting used to doing.
But in our clinic we had one, two rows of shelves where we kept all the files A to Z. I mean there were really important.
You just see something odd and you pull out a file and you go to jot it down and then your eye goes back and you say, "Oh my God. He started this two weeks ago and I hadn't noticed."

(12:16):
I think I said that earlier but it can be very important sometimes to notice when something started, it could be a clue to anything— particularly mobility.
"I noticed him limping like that before. Actually I noticed it a week ago or a month ago."
It's all relevant to the overall picture.

Karen Wylie (12:36):
Yes and the more often it happens allows you to determine how important it is.

Gail Pope (12:42):
Just picture for taking steps towards better health and balance.
Then as you get older and towards the end of life, it helps you in all sorts of decision making areas because you have a picture and you have a journey.
So when you look at something acutely, very often you'll make a quick response.

(13:04):
But when you look at it as a slow projection of time, trajectory of time, then it can change things.
You know whatever choices we make have to be based on what we see and what we know.

Karen Wylie (13:16):
I want to underscore what you're saying that this isn't that hard to learn.
It can feel a little weird to do it the first few times but you can get into a habit of it and it won't take very much time to do.

Gail Pope (13:30):
No, not at all.
Not at all.

Karen Wylie (13:31):
The one thing I made a little note of today that I wanted to make sure I said something about, is something that we included in the Living Assessment.
That is how important it can be to take photographs or video of your pet.

Gail Pope (13:45):
Oh, good.
Yes, yes.

Karen Wylie (13:47):
And so the example I wanted to share was about Mr. Hope who died about two and a half years ago now.
And we had him for two and a half years after his diagnosis with hypertrophic cardio.
There's just something when you know that there's something going on in your aging dog or cat or other four footer.

(14:07):
You just start taking more photographs because you're just preserving and cherishing every family moment.
You're just more likely to start taking more photographs.
I had two and a half years of probably three to four times as many photographs of Mr. Hope as I'd ever taken of him.
About a couple months after he died, I was going through some of the photos and I came across the photo of him with a red eye.

(14:31):
You may remember this because a couple months before he died instead of having two beautiful green eyes, overnight one of his eyes went red.
And it was like, "Okay, Yes, that's obviously blood.
Why is blood in his eye?
Is it high blood pressure?
Is the blood too thin?
You know what happened?"
But I took a photograph of that to text my vet so that I could find out when she could fit me in that afternoon and go around the front desk trying to say, "I really need somebody to look at this."

(15:02):
But then I'm looking beyond the red eye and I was looking at Mr. Hope, and "It's my goodness." In that photograph I was able to see where his face started thinning a little bit.
His cheekbones were a little more prominent.
Now, he still had a couple months of good life left, and he enjoyed his life very much but there was something about just taking the photo.

(15:24):
I took it.
I love my Mr. Hope.
Take the photograph, send to my vet, bring him down for her to look, and then he is on high blood pressure medication.
So I'm just engaged being a caregiver for Mr. Hope.
But I was really shocked looking back at the photos because it was there.
The progression of him not feeling as great was there in the photographs, and I as the loving mom was just trying to capture him on my husband's shoulders and him licking the pup's faces and that kind of thing.

(15:56):
So that's where I was coming from.
But then a couple months later, I'm looking at these photographs and it's it was right there.
So I do think it's really important to take photos like once a week, at least when you have a pet that has a chronic condition or a terminal condition and you are under veterinary care in some frequency.

(16:17):
So that while you're taking notes, you're taking a photo or two as well.
I just think I wasn't looking at my photos the way I should have been looking at my photos because you're just looking your animal with love.
You just adapt to everything that's happening to them, whereas the photograph is the record of what was happening for them on a particular day.

(16:37):
So anyway, that's a long way of saying I really encourage everybody to be taking photographs at least on a weekly basis.
It'll help you track again the patterns.

Gail Pope (16:47):
That's really good advice.
It's something that I've never done when I've noticed a particular something— a mass that's growing or that's broken, a wound, that's when I've sometimes taken a photo and put it in the file just in case.
But for the most part, the photos that I've taken of the animals, volunteers have taken— you know, the cute, fuzzy, beautiful photos.

(17:11):
Probably not enough photographs of the progression of illness.
Yes, really is a very good suggestion.

Karen Wylie (17:17):
Yes and with how easy it is for all of us with our digital devices and phones and iPads and everything else.
Again it's an easy habit to start getting into.
Every Saturday or something, whatever works for you.
Good, I think we've outlined several ideas for caregivers out there to be thinking about.
Because the good days and the bad days is something that is contained in an awful lot of the quality of life assessments out there to determine whether it's time for euthanasia.

(17:47):
"Are they having more good days than bad days?" You could find yourself being asked that by a veterinarian.
If you haven't been keeping track, you may only be going on the last day or two and not really able to share the total picture of how your pet is.
So that seems to be at least another reason to be keeping track of the patterns that you see.

Gail Pope (18:09):
Plus, I think if you're keeping track of both the good and the bad and the ugly.
Then you will probably identify something that might need attention sooner than you would otherwise.
So to me that would be a very valuable part of it.
Let's say face it, we all have bad days, but if an animal is having more bad days than good days, to me that is a sign that we need to get moving.

(18:31):
We need to actually pay attention and do something to help.

Karen Wylie (18:36):
Because they're off balance in some way that could still be adjusted and maybe there'd be more of those good days ahead.
Is there anything else you would want our caregivers out there to know about good days and bad days and how to think about them?

Gail Pope (18:50):
I think the only thing that I would be left with is to just learn to be with your animal and to do all this stuff that we talked about but not take it too seriously.
It's just write it down, put it there but don't live a life filled with the fear of a symptom that you are noticing and I'm going to look again tomorrow.

(19:11):
I think it's just taking notes, jotting it down.
If you need to see a veterinarian, then absolutely make an appointment.
But for the most part, you're just getting a picture.
So I think it really is be kind to yourself.
Keep the fear at bay and live for the moment.
Let's live and be happy today.
Let's stroke our cat under our chin, just like that.

Karen Wylie (19:35):
Yes, fortunately, she's having all good days at this time, and I hope that'll continue for many years to come.
But you're right the good days are precious that we need to look at them as gifts.
It's okay to feel good about them rather than constantly feeling worried— "It's good today, it wasn't yesterday."
Good days and bad days are both just information.

(19:56):
When you track the pattern over time not just day by day but week by week you really do start to see the bigger picture of your pet's journey and then you can take action that is aligned with what your pet needs and wants, what you're comfortable doing and you have more to talk about and discuss with your vet which can be very helpful.
Alright, I think we have brought this conversation full circle.

(20:21):
So thank you for joining us today.
Gail, as always, thank you for sharing your wisdom, and we will be back next week for another episode of Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
So until then, take care of yourself and remember, you are doing your best and you're doing it with love.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.

Gail Pope (20:38):
Goodbye.
Thank you for joining us on Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
We hope today's episode has offered you support and insight as you care for your aging or ill pets.
Remember, it's not just about the end.
It's about living well at every stage of life.
To continue your journey with us, explore more resources at BrightHaven Caregiver Academy's website— BrightPathForPets.com, where you'll find guides, assessments, and a caring community of pet parents like you.

(21:15):
Until next time, may you and your pets find comfort, connection, and peace in every moment.
Take care.
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