EP 14: Dear Therapists: Heartbreak and Closure | Listener Dilemmas

Welcome to a very special episode of Relational Lives - our first Dear Therapist edition. In this episode, Ali and Ros respond to two deeply personal letters from listeners grappling with loss, betrayal, and the search for closure.

Letter 1: Jo Jo opens up about losing their first love after being groomed into an abusive relationship. Now, blocked and isolated, Jo is looking for ways to process the guilt and trauma.

Letter 2: Owen After nine years, Owen’s girlfriend ends the relationship unexpectedly on Valentine’s Day - just before moving in together. Owen seeks answers and support as he faces heartbreak and the fear of rediscovering his identity alone.

This episode offers empathy, practical steps, and gentle guidance for anyone navigating emotional pain, attachment trauma, or the confusing road to closure.

Show notes:

Episode: Dear Therapist: Heartbreak, Abuse & Clousre | Listener Dilemmas

In this episode:

00:00 – Welcome to our first Dear Therapist episode 00:50 – Why listener dilemmas matter and what to expect 01:30 – Letter 1: Jo’s story of first love, grooming, and abuse 03:50 – How abuse can be hidden and isolating 05:30 – Understanding grooming, love bombing, and trauma 07:00 – The power of attention and why manipulation feels good 08:45 – Talking about shame, guilt, and getting support 10:00 – Why forgiveness is about you – not them 11:15 – Acknowledging Jo’s strength and moving forward 12:10 – Finding closure when you’ve been blocked 13:30 – How writing unsent letters can help 15:10 – Grieving the relationship and spotting red flags 16:45 – Letter 2: Owen’s sudden break-up after 9 years 18:20 – The pain of losing your imagined future 19:45 – What avoidant attachment might explain 21:00 – Was the break-up triggered by fear of commitment? 22:30 – Can you ask your ex for answers – and should you? 24:00 – Managing expectations and emotional readiness 25:30 – Rebuilding identity after a long relationship 27:00 – Seeking support and moments of relief 28:15 – Final reflections and how to send in your own dilemma 30:00 – Thank you for listening – more letters coming soon!

Resources mentioned:

Healthy relationships - explore what defines a healthy romantic dynamic: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-3suv8-188c4bd

Attachment styles overview: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-xwpd3-186c726

Break-ups - navigating the grief of a break-up and reclaiming joy: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ugjxj-187698d

Connect with us:

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Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at [e-mail] or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. 

Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

Credits:   Music by: Stile Tree Audio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio