All Episodes

August 1, 2025 72 mins

In this episode of Rest for the Revolution, I sit down with Karla Gomez, a powerhouse quad left emotional generator, trauma-informed therapist, and my “business twin flame,” to talk about rest, healing, and redefining success. Karla’s life journey spans from high-pressure chef kitchens and single motherhood at 21 to graduate studies in trauma counseling and groundbreaking work in psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy.

Together, we explore:

  • How chronic urgency, overwork, and ignoring rest almost led to a medical crisis

  • The physiological toll of grief, trauma, and professional burnout

  • How psilocybin and MDMA-assisted therapy opened the door to deep healing and nervous system regulation

  • The projector-generator dynamic in Human Design and how it transformed our lives and businesses

  • Practical strategies for building rest, emotional processing, and energy management into a high-performance life

If you’ve ever wondered how to escape the cultural trap of over-functioning, heal from burnout, or reclaim your energy with intention, Karla’s story is a masterclass in revolutionary rest and sustainable success.

Tune in to hear a heartfelt conversation about the pursuit of purpose, the cost of burnout, and the radical act of resting well.

To see all of Alex's active projects: www.alexmufson.com   To download your Human Design Chart: https://www.humandesigninpractice.com/human-design-chart   For Karla's Active Projects: www.privateclinicalmanagement.com www.aspengrowthcoaching.com www.revhumandesign.com
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
This is rest for the revolution.
A projector's dilemma.
Hi, welcome to rest for the revolution.
Today's guest is someone I am so excited about having here today.
.999It is Carla Gomez, the quad left emotional generator of my dreams. 6 00:00:23,979.999 --> 00:00:33,070 have worked together It feels like for an entire lifetime, but it Yeah, hasn't been an entire lifetime, but we have built, sold company, started a new one.

(00:33):
This is my twin flame of business and life.
.999And so we're going to learn all things from her, especially for me as a projector, learning from someone who has seemingly Endless amounts of energy reserves. 9 00:00:48,349.999 --> 00:00:49,389.999 thank you for being here. 10 00:00:50,188.499 --> 00:00:51,568.499 thank you for having me. 11 00:00:52,109.999 --> 00:00:54,409.999 You also have an amazing life story. 12 00:00:54,419.999 --> 00:01:00,699.998 So I'm really excited just to learn from you and what you've been learning and working on over the years. 13 00:01:00,699.999 --> 00:01:03,919.9985 Cause you're such a inspired teacher yourself. 14 00:01:03,919.9985 --> 00:01:07,559.999 And I know your teaching is so rooted in your personal experience. 15 00:01:07,689.999 --> 00:01:17,793.499 I'm curious to start, what has your relationship with rest been over the course of your whole life? That's a brand new relationship. 16 00:01:17,803.499 --> 00:01:24,693.498 Rest wasn't something that I ever really considered cause it wasn't something that I was taught. 17 00:01:24,733.499 --> 00:01:32,873.499 I mean, I assigned so much value to to the services that I could offer other people, to what I could do. 18 00:01:33,353.499 --> 00:01:37,103.499 In general, rather than in myself and in my internal experience. 19 00:01:37,103.499 --> 00:01:44,653.498 And to be perfectly honest, that wasn't something that I considered up until most recently where my body was like, actually, you have to consider it. 20 00:01:46,389.999 --> 00:01:50,463.499 How did that play into your relationship to work? Yeah. 21 00:01:50,463.499 --> 00:01:53,93.498 I think I think what I really. 22 00:01:53,423.499 --> 00:01:58,273.499 Pursued for a long time was that pulse that's behind the sense of urgency. 23 00:01:58,813.499 --> 00:02:05,543.4985 I followed that and I, I correlated success and value to that sense of urgency. 24 00:02:05,543.4985 --> 00:02:08,523.499 And I call that a pulse cause that's very much like how I feels in my body. 25 00:02:08,523.499 --> 00:02:13,53.498 It was just this constant and incessant pursuit that I felt. 26 00:02:13,353.499 --> 00:02:16,993.499 Successful and right that I felt like I was just in constant motion. 27 00:02:17,463.499 --> 00:02:20,623.499 Anything beyond that felt incredibly untethered. 28 00:02:20,653.498 --> 00:02:24,223.498 It felt uncomfortable and it didn't really feel like it was coming from me. 29 00:02:24,713.498 --> 00:02:27,533.498 I've learned to understand that that's actually backwards. 30 00:02:27,603.497 --> 00:02:31,703.498 I've learned to understand that the stillness is really what centers me. 31 00:02:32,183.498 --> 00:02:41,183.497 It's really what allows me to come back to myself and really dig beyond what's expected of me, whether through societal expectations or even through. 32 00:02:41,528.498 --> 00:02:45,628.498 Confirmed patterns that have really just played along throughout my life. 33 00:02:46,218.498 --> 00:03:03,633.498 I've learned that Rest wasn't something that Was ever really taught in any other careers that i've had i've really been successful because of the sense of urgency because of this like Pursuit that I'm really good at and just because I was very good at it. 34 00:03:03,743.498 --> 00:03:07,793.498 It just continued confirming it I just didn't correlate the fact that I was good at it. 35 00:03:07,793.498 --> 00:03:12,303.498 And it was also like killing me I was building the monster that was killing me. 36 00:03:13,264.998 --> 00:03:23,694.998 Has that been across industries as that been a specific industry, tell me about this relationship to being rewarded for something you now feel wasn't in your best interest. 37 00:03:23,694.998 --> 00:03:30,424.998 I think that's a really fascinating part of our society right now is we're rewarding things that often make us sick. 38 00:03:30,424.998 --> 00:03:46,293.498 So yeah, was that an actually adjacent question? Did that start in your childhood or did it start in your first career or take us through that that Yeah, all of the above I mean so As you know, my parents are boomers. 39 00:03:46,363.498 --> 00:03:54,193.497 They're individuals who, generationally speaking, attached so much value and so much meaning to what they were doing for others. 40 00:03:54,623.498 --> 00:04:01,753.498 And it was very appropriate back then, right? If we look at societal expectations and what was appropriate, it made sense. 41 00:04:01,803.497 --> 00:04:04,213.497 But it also bled into our generation. 42 00:04:04,283.497 --> 00:04:06,453.497 We're the generation that's questioning a lot of things. 43 00:04:06,973.497 --> 00:04:15,798.498 And I think part of My own individuation was understanding that through my own experience and through my own body. 44 00:04:15,798.498 --> 00:04:33,828.498 So, yeah, my first career as a chef, that depends so much on my capacity to have that sense of urgency and have it perfectly dialed in, right? Being able to be in control of that barometer of when I want that to really be explosive and intentional and take over. 45 00:04:34,348.498 --> 00:04:41,938.498 And when I want that to be under wraps and when I want to be unassuming and when I want to be intentional with who gets to see that side of me. 46 00:04:42,99.998 --> 00:04:45,849.998 Oh, you And more because I'm not, we work in the mental health space together. 47 00:04:45,859.997 --> 00:04:48,869.998 You got to tell me more about what it's like in a kitchen. 48 00:04:48,870.098 --> 00:04:49,979.998 Take me there. 49 00:04:50,978.497 --> 00:04:52,638.4975 yeah, so it's interesting. 50 00:04:52,638.4975 --> 00:04:52,978.497 Cause. 51 00:04:53,433.498 --> 00:04:58,123.498 I think in a kitchen, I'm a woman and I got into that field very young. 52 00:04:58,163.498 --> 00:05:00,503.498 I'm also like small in stature. 53 00:05:00,503.498 --> 00:05:02,653.498 I'm barely five feet tall on a perky day. 54 00:05:03,73.497 --> 00:05:08,623.497 So I think I definitely played to people's expectations and to what people. 55 00:05:09,408.498 --> 00:05:20,608.498 Assumed of me just based on the external envelope that I carry right and being able to constantly show people left and right that this was a competency thing. 56 00:05:20,608.498 --> 00:05:28,688.498 This was a skill thing and that, you know, I was getting ready to annihilate each and every single one of them did play a huge role in my life. 57 00:05:28,688.498 --> 00:05:28,898.4975 Right. 58 00:05:28,898.4975 --> 00:05:30,748.497 And it was something that I pursued. 59 00:05:30,748.497 --> 00:05:32,948.497 It was something that was really fun when I was young. 60 00:05:33,938.497 --> 00:05:34,928.497 And then I became a mom. 61 00:05:35,48.497 --> 00:05:35,378.497 Right. 62 00:05:35,418.497 --> 00:05:37,678.497 Then I became much more. 63 00:05:38,88.498 --> 00:05:48,188.498 About just myself, and I had to actually pay attention to my nervous system and to how that nervous system really projected to the people around me and to the nervous systems around me. 64 00:05:48,188.498 --> 00:06:01,234.923 Most importantly, one that was fully entangled with my own nervous system, right? So it was fun for a very short amount of time because Okay. 65 00:06:01,283.498 --> 00:06:06,543.498 was a fire that I, that I pursued, right? Until again, it just pursued me. 66 00:06:06,573.498 --> 00:06:12,3.498 And until it was something that was then demanding energy from me that I wasn't willing to output. 67 00:06:12,3.498 --> 00:06:16,963.497 And truth be told, my body didn't have the capacity to, to continue pursuing. 68 00:06:17,724.997 --> 00:06:27,63.498 Did you change the amount of output of your energy or did you just redirect it to motherhood and then career didn't have space for it? I think a little bit of both. 69 00:06:27,63.498 --> 00:06:37,793.498 I mean, in hindsight, that's such a good question because in hindsight, I can see where now with what I know, I can see where there's a there was a demand for both. 70 00:06:37,793.498 --> 00:06:47,413.496 I can see that motherhood required a specific presence and intention from me that really started within me and then extended towards my daughter. 71 00:06:47,413.496 --> 00:06:56,923.497 And that's That's really how I saw that dynamic and how I intended that closeness that I have with her that I have prioritized over so many years now. 72 00:06:57,483.497 --> 00:07:01,893.497 I think that was something that was really evident back then, but I didn't have the language for it. 73 00:07:02,433.497 --> 00:07:06,368.497 And I do think that In terms of redirection of profession. 74 00:07:06,438.497 --> 00:07:10,468.497 I knew that I wanted, I've always known that I wanted to support human beings. 75 00:07:10,518.497 --> 00:07:15,218.496 I've always wanted to do something with human services because food didn't talk back to me. 76 00:07:15,378.496 --> 00:07:15,648.496 Right. 77 00:07:15,648.497 --> 00:07:19,718.497 And I, and I enjoyed that at some point, but I was craving more. 78 00:07:20,33.497 --> 00:07:26,73.497 And I think now, in hindsight, what I was craving was connection and to really understand human beings. 79 00:07:26,143.497 --> 00:07:33,693.497 Little did I know that, that that would mean that I would have to understand myself before being able to help others and their nervous system. 80 00:07:33,703.497 --> 00:07:51,453.497 I Do you think that Being a mom young changed your energy availability then, or do you think that it was motherhood for those who don't know? How old were you when you became a mom? was two months shy of turning 21. 81 00:07:52,14.997 --> 00:07:53,254.996 Yeah, so you're young. 82 00:07:53,444.997 --> 00:08:07,593.497 So do you think that that impacted your relationship to rest or your relationship to mothering? Or do you think that it would have been this either way? That's such a good question. 83 00:08:10,563.497 --> 00:08:11,933.497 That's a very good question. 84 00:08:12,983.497 --> 00:08:14,913.497 I don't know which came first. 85 00:08:15,353.497 --> 00:08:20,673.497 I always talk about matrescence and how motherhood rocked me. 86 00:08:20,703.497 --> 00:08:22,863.497 I mean, I think it rocks everybody. 87 00:08:22,863.497 --> 00:08:42,273.497 I think the fact that it happened for me while I was also in a parallel biological process of change really almost like amplified that transition for me and almost like just forced me to look at certain parts within myself that perhaps I didn't have access to before. 88 00:08:42,734.997 --> 00:08:43,313.497 So if you're Yeah. 89 00:08:43,414.997 --> 00:09:03,778.496 a biomarker nerd like Carla, what do you mean by that? so in our, in our young twenties, we're still in the process of developing our frontal, temporal, right? And that function really what it, or that part of the brain, what really allows us to function is the emotional capacity, right? Emotional regulation, i. 90 00:09:03,828.497 --> 00:09:04,138.497 e. 91 00:09:04,148.497 --> 00:09:13,368.497 internal experience, being very aware of what's Of what happens within our internal world, our thoughts, our emotions, how that connects to the outside world. 92 00:09:14,88.497 --> 00:09:18,878.497 I have always been somebody that's been very sensitive to my internal experience. 93 00:09:18,878.497 --> 00:09:22,108.497 I think both through trauma and just how I was raised, it's just. 94 00:09:22,858.497 --> 00:09:33,105.017 Part of who I am, but I also think that motherhood Okay. 95 00:09:33,418.497 --> 00:09:49,78.497 that was very natural for me and it was something that I embraced and it was something that I, I was really looking forward to and I wanted to fill that role in the most capable, optimized, intentional way and with so much love, right? So it just. 96 00:09:50,148.497 --> 00:10:03,808.497 It moved me in a direction of being just as brutally honest with myself as possible, and that meant that I had to, I had to come to terms with a lot of things within me that were unhealthy. 97 00:10:05,914.997 --> 00:10:12,774.997 You've referred a couple times to how you were raised and how it was appropriate for your parents generation, but we're challenging it now. 98 00:10:13,164.996 --> 00:10:26,734.997 Can you talk a little bit more about how you were raised in relationship to work and rest? And I am extrapolating from what you've said, but I think I'm hearing how you value yourself and what is valued in identity. 99 00:10:26,734.997 --> 00:10:29,294.997 So I'm curious if you can talk a little bit more about that. 100 00:10:30,378.497 --> 00:10:32,268.497 Ooh, this is a rabbit hole conversation. 101 00:10:32,328.497 --> 00:10:32,738.497 Yes. 102 00:10:33,958.497 --> 00:10:36,498.497 Well, I mean, I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, as you know. 103 00:10:37,528.496 --> 00:11:05,683.497 I think my parents are My father's 73 now, my mother's 63, so that's a generation that, my father's a military man, you know, he's a veteran, he is a boots on the ground, workhorse, I swear, he's like Puerto Rican Rambo, like he, I will get him off of the second story floor from like So, Pressure washing the roof rather than hiring people like, you know, like this kind of person that just doesn't stop working. 104 00:11:05,683.497 --> 00:11:13,543.497 And it's just like, it's very hard headed, both a beautiful thing and very difficult in his older age, especially as somebody that doesn't want to see him get hurt. 105 00:11:14,93.497 --> 00:11:19,743.496 And my mother's very type a very organized, very on top of everything at all times. 106 00:11:20,593.497 --> 00:11:24,403.497 Which meant that my parents were very present in my upbringing. 107 00:11:25,253.497 --> 00:11:28,693.497 I had them present for every after school activity. 108 00:11:28,773.497 --> 00:11:31,473.497 You know, they were both very emotionally intelligent human beings. 109 00:11:31,483.497 --> 00:11:40,133.496 So I think they, in terms of like a social expectation of what you perceive the boomer, they're different in the sense of they talk to us. 110 00:11:40,263.496 --> 00:11:49,293.496 They definitely talk to us about the difficult things and about The emotional sense of things as we were growing up to a certain extent, right? To a certain capacity. 111 00:11:49,293.496 --> 00:11:51,493.496 I think what we have access to right now is very different. 112 00:11:52,13.496 --> 00:11:54,153.496 But I think I had access to the best of both worlds. 113 00:11:54,153.496 --> 00:11:58,233.496 I had access to the workhorse generation that just like. 114 00:11:58,663.496 --> 00:12:01,623.496 Really put their heads down and just worked and hustled. 115 00:12:01,653.496 --> 00:12:17,443.496 And, and I think that was a beautiful quality for me to have exposure to, because it allowed for me to just blow through so much work and almost like have an express lane to when people were like, were, were tired and were burnt out, I was like, give me more, I can do this. 116 00:12:17,453.496 --> 00:12:20,173.496 Like I've been under the fire since I was young. 117 00:12:20,173.496 --> 00:12:24,916.82933333 Like this is the environment that raised me I also realized that as I got older and I. 118 00:12:25,616.82933333 --> 00:12:29,126.82933333 I had autonomy over that cadence and over that pattern. 119 00:12:29,996.82933333 --> 00:12:34,406.82933333 I realized that I didn't want to be running out that cadence all the time. 120 00:12:34,436.82933333 --> 00:12:38,666.82933333 And obviously the older I get, the more I'm like, Oh, this, this is a choice. 121 00:12:38,706.82833333 --> 00:12:45,476.82933333 Like I don't, I don't need to equate my value and assign my value to the amount of things I do for other people. 122 00:12:45,476.82933333 --> 00:12:49,806.82933333 And the amount of support that I give others, even though in our field, that's. 123 00:12:50,276.82933333 --> 00:13:13,588.32833333 It's literally the quantifiable aspect of what we do the barometer gets to be mine and the control gets to be mine versus the output and the expectation that it may have on So you become a mom and you're already this workhorse mentality, but you realize that the kitchen and motherhood aren't working together. 124 00:13:14,768.32833333 --> 00:13:15,678.32933333 You go to school. 125 00:13:15,698.32933333 --> 00:13:16,976.82833333 What happens next? it. 126 00:13:17,866.82933333 --> 00:13:23,196.82933333 Yeah, I go to school, part of my trauma response is, was, was. 127 00:13:23,901.82933333 --> 00:13:30,521.82933333 What was to pursue more knowledge was to just bury my face in books. 128 00:13:30,561.82933333 --> 00:13:32,111.82933333 And so I did exactly that. 129 00:13:32,111.82933333 --> 00:13:36,661.82933333 I have pictures somewhere breastfeeding my child as also writing essays. 130 00:13:36,671.82833333 --> 00:13:41,731.83033333 Like I knew that I didn't want to work standing up in kitchens for 16 hours a day. 131 00:13:42,471.82933333 --> 00:13:43,801.82933333 That was no longer it for me. 132 00:13:43,801.82933333 --> 00:13:47,331.82933333 It was fun while it lasted, but that was a very quick flame. 133 00:13:47,781.82933333 --> 00:13:50,821.82933333 I knew that I wanted at that point, right? So South beach. 134 00:13:52,521.82933333 --> 00:13:57,461.82933333 I was at the Versace mansion at that point where it was just party after party. 135 00:13:57,911.82933333 --> 00:13:59,281.82933333 These are parties. 136 00:13:59,331.82833333 --> 00:14:03,951.82833333 So you have these wildly elevated Versace mansion parties. 137 00:14:04,1.82833333 --> 00:14:10,721.82933333 And then you, then you have a baby and now you're like, I think that I will go back to school because. 138 00:14:11,166.82933333 --> 00:14:15,605.32933333 That will be a chiller lifestyle So Little did that so know. 139 00:14:16,146.82933333 --> 00:14:26,296.82933333 you go to school and I know that you had purpose because of of family Experiences and your own experience close to a lot of trauma a lot of grief. 140 00:14:26,576.82933333 --> 00:14:45,650.32983333 So you're in school You have a purpose what was happening with your energy at that point? Yeah, I mean, I will say, and I'll preface this, With the fact that because I'm Hispanic and because I have my family here, I was able to just lean so heavily on my support system. 141 00:14:45,750.32983333 --> 00:14:57,180.33083333 I don't think I would have been able to do what I did without fully understanding and knowing and trusting that I had my family's back to support me with my daughter as I was raising her. 142 00:14:57,180.33083333 --> 00:14:57,390.33083333 Right. 143 00:14:57,390.33083333 --> 00:14:59,110.33083333 So I did have a lot of. 144 00:14:59,415.33083333 --> 00:15:09,295.33083333 flexibility in that terms where I was able to count on my parents and my sister to really help me with bylaw on the times that I just, I needed to hit the books and I needed to pursue a different profession. 145 00:15:09,295.33083333 --> 00:15:15,935.33083333 Cause I understood that that was going to take a lot of humility for me and starting all over once I had already hit a certain marker in my previous career. 146 00:15:17,75.32983333 --> 00:15:21,815.32983333 The reasoning behind that was because, okay, I had already worked back of the house and restaurants. 147 00:15:21,845.32983333 --> 00:15:28,835.32983333 I, and hotels, I understood what that took and it only made sense for me to understand how to run operations in the front of the house. 148 00:15:29,385.32883333 --> 00:15:33,755.32983333 So I went into my bachelor's thinking, okay, I'll do the operational work. 149 00:15:33,785.32983333 --> 00:15:36,695.32983333 I'll understand macro cause I've already been involved in micro. 150 00:15:36,725.32983333 --> 00:15:38,725.32983333 I've been involved in the day to day functioning. 151 00:15:38,775.32983333 --> 00:15:39,365.32983333 I got this. 152 00:15:39,365.32983333 --> 00:15:40,555.32983333 Like I'm a systems woman. 153 00:15:40,605.32983333 --> 00:15:41,285.32983333 I just need to. 154 00:15:41,530.32983333 --> 00:15:44,590.32983333 Understand the systems approach of the front of the house. 155 00:15:45,260.32983333 --> 00:15:50,830.32983333 And I went through my bachelor's, I did my human resources management with organizational behavior. 156 00:15:51,200.32883333 --> 00:15:54,440.32983333 I finished that degree and I don't want to fucking do this. 157 00:15:54,450.32983333 --> 00:15:56,50.32983333 Like, I don't want to do this. 158 00:15:56,90.32983333 --> 00:15:59,920.32983333 This, this is not me, but this doesn't end here. 159 00:15:59,930.32983333 --> 00:16:04,970.32883333 Like I'm sure that I can amplify this and utilize this at some point of my life. 160 00:16:04,970.32983333 --> 00:16:08,340.32983333 This isn't something that I can't just use because it's so niche. 161 00:16:08,970.32883333 --> 00:16:10,680.32783333 Going back to like my personal stuff. 162 00:16:10,680.32883333 --> 00:16:11,50.32883333 Yeah. 163 00:16:11,60.32783333 --> 00:16:13,250.32883333 When, when I realized that. 164 00:16:13,825.32883333 --> 00:16:25,185.32783333 My own family's experience, the exposure that I had on a social level in Puerto Rico and just the overall mental health and drug abuse culture that was happening out there. 165 00:16:25,185.32783333 --> 00:17:02,260.3283333 And I say culture because there's just this immediacy and access to drugs out there that perhaps over here, I mean, nowadays we are kind of catching up and I say here in Miami, but there was just this relationship and this exposure that I had at a very young age where families just decimated and pulverized over, like, the course of nothing in terms of time because heroin was introduced to one of their family members it was just this immediacy that almost happened and The conversations weren't happening quickly enough because people weren't in a position to really have the conversations. 166 00:17:02,260.3283333 --> 00:17:03,700.3283333 They were in a position to respond. 167 00:17:03,790.3283333 --> 00:17:05,330.3283333 They were in a position to intervene. 168 00:17:06,40.3283333 --> 00:17:10,360.3283333 And I would also like, I think I have the autonomy and the agency to say this. 169 00:17:10,520.3283333 --> 00:17:21,720.3283333 I think for a long time, culturally speaking, we're not the ones to send our people away, right? We are the ones to ask for help when things are imploding, but we don't necessarily think about preventive measures a lot. 170 00:17:22,550.3283333 --> 00:17:23,410.3273333 So I knew. 171 00:17:23,730.3283333 --> 00:17:28,700.3283333 I knew that something that was very much within me and my heart, it was something that I felt just this. 172 00:17:29,840.3283333 --> 00:17:48,840.3283333 This incessant pull towards, I'm like, you know what, I'm going to put academia, as much as that was my trauma response, I'm going to put academia behind this messed up thing that just happened to us and all the exposure that I have had because I can do something with this and I can definitely be part of the interruption. 173 00:17:48,840.3283333 --> 00:17:50,500.3283333 I don't want to continue complaining about it. 174 00:17:50,500.3283333 --> 00:17:55,90.3283333 I want to be part of the, of the pool of people that are going to do something about it. 175 00:17:56,826.8283333 --> 00:17:57,186.8283333 Wow. 176 00:17:57,196.8283333 --> 00:17:59,126.8283333 So you went to your graduate degree. 177 00:17:59,146.8283333 --> 00:18:16,155.3283333 Is that what happened at that point? Yeah, yeah, then I did my master's in psych as you know I did it again, then I wasn't done I'm like, well, I guess I'll do my post master's in trauma because I knew at some point I wanted to end up doing my doctorates, but I wasn't ready for that commitment. 178 00:18:16,155.3283333 --> 00:18:28,580.3283333 I wanted to go into work first So I did my master's and then I did my post master's in trauma counseling You were doing your own exploring around healing modalities at this point too, right? Absolutely. 179 00:18:29,70.3283333 --> 00:18:29,610.3283333 Absolutely. 180 00:18:29,630.3283333 --> 00:18:30,710.3283333 Yeah, I've never. 181 00:18:31,440.3283333 --> 00:18:34,250.3283333 I mean, as I'm sure you can tell by now, I'm not a linear thinker. 182 00:18:34,570.3283333 --> 00:18:43,440.3273333 I kind of like expose myself to what feels right and where I'm getting an intuitive pull and I go in that direction. 183 00:18:43,440.3283333 --> 00:18:46,520.3283333 And my sister would call that I'm a bull in a china shop. 184 00:18:46,730.3273333 --> 00:18:56,530.3283333 I've learned to refine that a little bit more now as I'm older, but I'm definitely the risk taker when it comes to exploring things that I have absolutely no idea about. 185 00:18:57,636.8283333 --> 00:19:00,566.8283333 Oh, give me some examples from that period of your time. 186 00:19:02,555.3283333 --> 00:19:14,45.3283333 I think I had access to a lot of people that just like perked an ear or provided me with different trends and research and in data that I was like, Oh, that sounds like it makes more sense than just talk therapy. 187 00:19:14,45.3283333 --> 00:19:23,135.3273333 Like I, there's a what is it? There's a, there's a time and place for everything, but I always knew that I didn't just want to go into talk therapy. 188 00:19:23,135.3273333 --> 00:19:24,815.3273333 There's a lot of therapists out there. 189 00:19:24,865.3273333 --> 00:19:27,955.3273333 I wanted to offer people a way out. 190 00:19:28,225.3273333 --> 00:19:38,95.3263333 That meant, and And this with a lot of intentionality and caution and expressly right that offered people this autonomous intentional. 191 00:19:38,101.8695556 --> 00:19:53,325.3273333 you Almost strategic way of being able to do things that really kind of blended my background of like military and like doing things from a place where the in my own grief and in my own mental health recovery, like I've to be in charge of it. 192 00:19:53,645.3263333 --> 00:20:10,980.3273333 I didn't want to sit across somebody to explain my internal experience and be like, all right, what are we going to do about this now? I still had to sit with the discomfort of my feelings, like I wanted somebody that was going to lead the way and tell me this is what you're going to do, this is what you're going to do, this is how it's going to feel, and this is the end result. 193 00:20:11,360.3273333 --> 00:20:25,221.8273333 So somebody that gave me the strategic plan and a forecasted pattern of like, this is what you're going to expect and this is what you can do about it, right? Quite honestly, the therapist that I sat across, I would eat them alive because I just, Okay. 194 00:20:25,515.3273333 --> 00:20:27,845.3273333 I've already intellectualized my problems. 195 00:20:27,925.3273333 --> 00:20:29,385.3273333 Like I get it. 196 00:20:29,715.3273333 --> 00:20:32,965.3273333 What am I gonna do about it? So it was for me. 197 00:20:32,965.3273333 --> 00:20:51,25.3273333 It's always been about the alternative autonomous sledgehammer approach So what is that approach? What did you find? So assisted psychotherapy is the term assistance can mean anything, right? Can mean medication assisted. 198 00:20:51,45.3273333 --> 00:20:57,315.3273333 I mean, it could, it just depends on what type of substance you're utilizing to assist the psychotherapy in and of itself. 199 00:20:57,916.8273333 --> 00:21:01,536.8273333 So this means you use substances to support therapy. 200 00:21:01,565.3273333 --> 00:21:02,925.3273333 Yes, absolutely. 201 00:21:03,166.8273333 --> 00:21:03,985.3273333 I want to Open. 202 00:21:04,26.8273333 --> 00:21:05,935.3273333 explicit because you've Yeah. 203 00:21:06,156.8273333 --> 00:21:11,986.8273333 around really well and like the people I have access to in Miami and, and a sledgehammer approach. 204 00:21:12,56.8273333 --> 00:21:13,256.7273333 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 205 00:21:13,526.7273333 --> 00:21:16,736.7273333 So to go through front and center. 206 00:21:16,736.7273333 --> 00:21:18,796.7273333 Yes, it means psilocybin. 207 00:21:18,836.7273333 --> 00:21:20,146.7273333 It means MDMA. 208 00:21:20,176.7273333 --> 00:21:22,726.7273333 It means, for me personally, it meant psilocybin. 209 00:21:22,726.8273333 --> 00:21:45,476.7273333 Psilocybin was really the first the first substance that I had experience with that just, was groundbreaking because it, there's something, and those who have had experiences with psilocybin can know that there's something so honest and, and just straightforward about the experience that you can't look away. 210 00:21:45,806.7273333 --> 00:21:46,96.7273333 Right. 211 00:21:46,136.7273333 --> 00:22:02,366.7263333 It brings up all the things that are in our subconscious that perhaps we didn't have access to for whether through external distractors or through internal roadblocks, so to speak, this really allowed for me to. 212 00:22:02,631.7273333 --> 00:22:07,991.7273333 In my experience, look at the last 15 years and say, Oh, shit, this, this is all here. 213 00:22:08,371.7273333 --> 00:22:11,781.7273333 And as I'm sure you know, I'm not linear in my thinking. 214 00:22:12,31.7273333 --> 00:22:13,661.7263333 I go through experiences. 215 00:22:13,711.7273333 --> 00:22:18,441.7273333 I can attach meaning to things in hindsight, but in the moment, it's, it's quite difficult for me. 216 00:22:19,241.7273333 --> 00:22:35,111.7273333 So for me, for somebody like me to go through therapy, it's exhausting because I have to sit through the therapy session for multiple weeks at a time and then go back into the session like, oh, that's what it was, right? So it's not in terms of chronological order really wasn't supportive. 217 00:22:36,511.7273333 --> 00:23:00,436.7273333 Assisted psychotherapy and mushrooms, like psilocybin in my own experience really gave me that linear thought that I was pending, that I was needing, and linear thought that far how do I say it? That far exceeded my current living experience, right? And it went back into when I was a kid, and it almost like played out everything that I had been through. 218 00:23:01,116.7273333 --> 00:23:09,196.7263333 And it pulled apart all the key factors that happened in all of those pivotal moments and brought me to myself. 219 00:23:09,196.7263333 --> 00:23:11,336.7263333 And we're like, this is why everything is happening. 220 00:23:11,436.7263333 --> 00:23:13,326.7273333 And this is why it's disrupting your functioning. 221 00:23:13,326.7273333 --> 00:23:16,976.7273333 And this is why your body is responding the way that it's responding. 222 00:23:17,771.7273333 --> 00:23:24,601.7273333 And for those who don't know the way that I responded to grief was I became claustrophobic I became socially anxious. 223 00:23:24,631.7273333 --> 00:23:30,591.7273333 I would wake up to people carrying me out of places because I would just flat out pass out So I would wake up to a stranger. 224 00:23:30,978.2273333 --> 00:23:31,951.7273333 you Yeah. 225 00:23:32,108.2273333 --> 00:23:33,361.7273333 member and this Yeah. 226 00:23:33,361.7273333 --> 00:23:33,721.7273333 Yeah. 227 00:23:34,481.7263333 --> 00:23:48,116.7273333 Yeah, so I I had a very physiological response to grief and a physiological response that was so opposing to who I was as a person like i'm I'm the happiest, most social butterfly. 228 00:23:48,116.7273333 --> 00:23:49,136.7273333 Like I'll talk to a wall. 229 00:23:49,636.7273333 --> 00:23:51,56.7273333 Suddenly I couldn't talk to people. 230 00:23:51,196.7273333 --> 00:23:53,186.7273333 I couldn't step into places by myself. 231 00:23:53,666.7273333 --> 00:23:54,696.7273333 My nervous system. 232 00:23:54,696.7273333 --> 00:24:04,986.7263333 I mean, you can imagine from there on out, it was just a very, it was a very stark contrast to who I had always been and it was, I couldn't avoid it. 233 00:24:04,996.7273333 --> 00:24:06,536.7263333 I couldn't deny it. 234 00:24:06,536.8263333 --> 00:24:08,616.6263333 Yeah. 235 00:24:08,638.2273333 --> 00:24:12,48.2273333 family member and you're doing this work for yourself. 236 00:24:12,378.2273333 --> 00:24:18,628.2273333 You also have a legit degree in this, right? It's tell us what your degree is called. 237 00:24:19,856.7263333 --> 00:24:22,616.7263333 So I have a concentration in entheogenic plants. 238 00:24:23,156.7263333 --> 00:24:32,546.7263333 So that means largely throughout my master's degree, I focused on a specific population being supported through a specific modality. 239 00:24:32,966.7253333 --> 00:24:37,36.7263333 The population that I really pursued was veterans and first responders. 240 00:24:37,216.7253333 --> 00:25:01,136.7263333 So a lot of PTSD trauma, like war related trauma, how that showed up in their civilian life and in their transfer into like A quote unquote normal life and how assisted psychotherapy and certain substances allowed for them to have these specific neurochemical responses to then be able to enter into top therapy. 241 00:25:01,636.7263333 --> 00:25:08,426.7263333 A lot of what was happening and I mean, in the last 40 years, there's data to support both angles really. 242 00:25:09,256.7263333 --> 00:25:30,666.7263333 A lot of what's happening is these soldiers were essentially being discharged and then just placed in talk therapy with a bunch of medication and I mean, I couldn't go down this rabbit hole for hours, you know me, You but they weren't necessarily given proper tools to actually deal with a nervous system that was fried and a nervous system that was right for all the right reasons. 243 00:25:30,706.7263333 --> 00:25:53,751.7263333 I mean, not only had they been conditioned to To really fragment their experience and compartmentalize a lot of what their internal experience was happening because they were in constant survival mode But now you just kind of shove them into the world and expect them to function in a regular day job and expect them to be in a family and It just, it was so fragmented and so poor. 244 00:25:53,751.7263333 --> 00:25:56,371.7263333 And as you know, my dad is a veteran. 245 00:25:56,491.7263333 --> 00:25:59,371.7273333 He worked for disabled American veterans for almost 40 years. 246 00:25:59,371.7273333 --> 00:26:02,871.7273333 So I grew up witnessing the other side of this. 247 00:26:02,871.7273333 --> 00:26:05,531.7273333 I grew up witnessing veterans with missing limbs. 248 00:26:05,571.7263333 --> 00:26:14,51.7273333 I grew up witnessing veterans go homeless, like people that I knew and loved just because they couldn't process what happened 40 years ago. 249 00:26:14,161.7273333 --> 00:26:14,561.7273333 Right. 250 00:26:15,211.7273333 --> 00:26:16,451.7273333 And so I, I really. 251 00:26:17,51.7273333 --> 00:26:30,613.2273333 I wanted to give access to a modality and to give people education around a modality that was actually showing a difference, that was actually disrupting change, and that was actually Okay. 252 00:26:30,731.7273333 --> 00:26:51,606.7888334 giving people an opportunity for change, and more importantly, like, after I had seen what it had done for me, I think my story and, and really the, the timing that I went to school was pivotal too, because it was when psilocybin and assisted psychotherapy was starting to make a comeback on academia. 253 00:26:51,606.7898334 --> 00:27:01,476.7898334 I think it had a lull for some time, so I think it was a little bit of luck or perhaps my intuition that was just like, go, like now is the time. 254 00:27:02,76.7898334 --> 00:27:14,286.7908334 All right, I want to get into this a little bit because it seemed like When we were talking about this on a personal level, it seemed harder for you to name on a professional level. 255 00:27:14,676.7908334 --> 00:27:15,465.1908334 And I'm into it. 256 00:27:15,896.7898334 --> 00:27:34,466.7908334 even though you're in Miami, even though you're way more credentialed than anyone that I meet that is guiding ceremonies and, and utilizing plant medicine in any way, it seems like there's still something that blocks you a little bit, a little, whether it's self stigma or outside stigma. 257 00:27:34,736.7908334 --> 00:27:36,956.7908334 I'm Yeah, I'm curious what that is. 258 00:27:37,171.8908334 --> 00:27:54,136.6908334 Okay. 259 00:27:54,445.2903334 --> 00:28:04,195.2908334 to 50 year block because society was not ready to understand what this meant because the substances on their own. 260 00:28:04,900.2908334 --> 00:28:24,810.2908334 Were inadequately used for so long and they received such a socially incorrect interpretation that their research and the results and the actual clinical use of it was I mean, overshadowed is doesn't even begin to describe what actually happens. 261 00:28:24,820.2908334 --> 00:28:27,280.2908334 So I am intentional. 262 00:28:27,280.2908334 --> 00:28:28,210.2908334 I'm cautious. 263 00:28:28,250.2908334 --> 00:28:36,240.2908334 I have the utmost respect for this type of modality because I do think that this is a type of modality that's going to change the world. 264 00:28:36,256.7908334 --> 00:28:36,286.7908334 Okay. 265 00:28:36,740.2908334 --> 00:28:51,725.2908334 I do think that this is the type of modality that's going after what you and I call Goliath, right? What's going after these larger health systems that are stuck in, you know, in the modalities that have been institutionalized for so long. 266 00:28:52,525.2908334 --> 00:28:58,585.2908334 I think this goes far beyond my experience, like the people that I know that have gone through this experience. 267 00:28:59,25.2908334 --> 00:29:03,915.2898334 And I'm sure as we're talking and as people are listening, they're going to be like, yep, that's exactly right. 268 00:29:03,935.2898334 --> 00:29:08,805.2898334 There's, there's a certain call and a certain point of no return. 269 00:29:08,915.2898334 --> 00:29:12,445.1908334 Once you go through this experience, you can't unsee what you see. 270 00:29:12,705.2908334 --> 00:29:19,465.2908334 Right? And so with something like this, in my own experience, this then facilitated for me to go into talk therapy. 271 00:29:19,565.2908334 --> 00:29:31,555.2908334 It facilitated for me to then be able to have the capacity, the cognitive capacity, of be able to just describe and identify in language, in basic language, what I was going through. 272 00:29:31,744.8042662 --> 00:29:32,722.0788931 I I. 273 00:29:32,935.4132214 --> 00:29:37,995.4132214 it almost feels like we're doing things backwards in many ways, and obviously this isn't a one size fits all. 274 00:29:38,25.4132214 --> 00:29:39,285.4132214 This is a case by case. 275 00:29:39,710.6878483 --> 00:29:58,690.4122214 I, it's not just psilocybin for all, though, I, I think, I, think there could also be I, for that too, but, I, I think that there is, there's a combination of methods that can be used, and I think what we're tapping into what you and I call the mental health renaissance is. 276 00:29:59,295.4132214 --> 00:30:23,615.4132214 A myriad right of of presentations and a myriad of support services and of modalities and of avenues to get to the same place, but understanding it from the root cause, right? Like, understanding how do we support this 1 person with all their presenting factors from all these multiple avenues and let's just kind of like wrap around this person rather than what I feel. 277 00:30:23,675.4132214 --> 00:30:46,635.4132214 At a certain point sitting across therapists that were just looking at me from such a singular lane like I don't know it it felt like my My internal experience needed support from multiple angles at the same time because my nervous system was fucking on fire And talk therapy was not gonna do it for me, Well, I'm sure at this point, a lot of people are like, I want to work with that girl. 278 00:30:46,645.4132214 --> 00:30:57,585.4132214 So I just want to note that we will put your contact information, in the, in the description of the podcast, but want to go back to to you personally in all of this. 279 00:30:57,585.4132214 --> 00:30:59,445.4132214 So your nervous system's on fire. 280 00:30:59,925.4132214 --> 00:31:09,245.4132214 You have these psychedelic assisted experiences that lead you back to being able to verbally experience your life. 281 00:31:10,215.4132214 --> 00:31:34,898.9132214 Did this shift your relationship to work and rest and energy during this process? Oh my gosh, that's the point of no return that I talk about with everybody, like, don't do this if you're not willing to take a hard look at everything in your life, this forces you to take inventory and absolutely everything about yourself. 282 00:31:34,898.9132214 --> 00:31:36,328.9142214 It changed everything for me. 283 00:31:36,708.9122214 --> 00:31:37,358.9122214 Career. 284 00:31:37,733.9132214 --> 00:31:55,543.9122214 My relationships, my personal relationships with friends, with romantic partners, with family members with work, with the way that I lived my life, with the way that I ate, the way that I moved, with my sleep hygiene, everything, everything, everything, everything in my life changed. 285 00:31:55,543.9132214 --> 00:31:56,253.9122214 So yeah. 286 00:31:56,563.9132214 --> 00:31:57,143.9132214 Absolutely. 287 00:31:58,735.4132214 --> 00:32:03,85.4122214 So, at this point, you enter the workforce as a provider. 288 00:32:03,570.4132214 --> 00:32:06,570.4132214 And you're working at larger treatment institutions. 289 00:32:06,580.4132214 --> 00:32:14,570.4132214 This was before you and I, well, I would say we met, except it's more like Carla found me and pursued me. 290 00:32:14,850.4132214 --> 00:32:15,650.4132214 We'll get to that. 291 00:32:16,550.4132214 --> 00:32:32,765.4122214 What was your experience? In the trenches of pretty major corporate healthcare, you're having this personal Renaissance and now you're a provider on the other end, but you're in a pretty contained healing environment. 292 00:32:32,785.4132214 --> 00:32:41,835.4132214 I can't imagine what you studied and where your passion is, was accepted in a 30, 60, 90 day. 293 00:32:42,570.4132214 --> 00:32:46,460.4132214 Residential program My palms are getting sweaty talking, even thinking about this. 294 00:32:47,930.4132214 --> 00:32:49,140.4132214 It was rough, Alex. 295 00:32:49,170.4132214 --> 00:33:05,630.4132214 I mean, in hindsight, I can understand that it took for me to understand the macro side of things and the big picture system that's currently employed to understand, Oh, I can do it in a different way. 296 00:33:05,680.4132214 --> 00:33:08,80.4132214 And now I know, system like yeah. 297 00:33:08,920.4132214 --> 00:33:22,400.4132214 Yeah, and now and I know that now because I now understand that part about myself that I need to experience something in order to break it down and understand how I can do it better, how I can be more efficient about it, how I can optimize it at the time. 298 00:33:22,430.4132214 --> 00:33:34,310.4132214 And that's very easy to say, not easy to do because it required for me to place myself in the very system that I thought failed my family, right? Like, I say this all the time. 299 00:33:34,330.4132214 --> 00:33:37,580.4132214 I'm the provider that I wish my family had back then. 300 00:33:37,700.4132214 --> 00:33:39,200.4132214 I think had I had we had. 301 00:33:39,965.4132214 --> 00:33:42,725.4132214 Somebody like myself, things would be very different. 302 00:33:42,795.4132214 --> 00:33:45,925.4122214 The conversations would have been very different. 303 00:33:45,925.4132214 --> 00:33:50,765.4142214 The the exposure and the avenues that we would have explored would have been different. 304 00:33:51,525.4142214 --> 00:33:57,965.4142214 In the private healthcare system that we have right now, I was in private treatment centers for some time. 305 00:33:59,205.4142214 --> 00:34:00,215.4142214 You know, it was exhausting. 306 00:34:00,215.4142214 --> 00:34:02,735.4142214 It was seeing the same people sit across from me. 307 00:34:03,395.4142214 --> 00:34:17,490.4122214 It was Me as a provider being dictated what to do by utilization review, which is dictated by insurance companies, not the other way around and it was a specific container that was. 308 00:34:18,510.4132214 --> 00:34:26,140.4132214 Rooted on false expectations, right? Not necessarily rooted on the truth of what that individual was going through. 309 00:34:26,150.4132214 --> 00:34:38,780.4132214 It was much more about the template and the milieu and the container, rather than the individual and how we were creating support systems for them, right? And that's a very, that's a very polarizing statement. 310 00:34:38,780.4132214 --> 00:34:42,460.4132214 That's a very generalized experience that I went through. 311 00:34:43,385.4132214 --> 00:35:05,591.8132214 I was sitting across people that I wanted Nothing more than to support them and the thing was that I knew how to support them and I had systems that blocked my capacity As supporting them whether due through time constraints or through expectations because of levels of care How did your body feel in that environment? Yeah. 312 00:35:05,840.4132214 --> 00:35:07,710.4132214 I was always in a rush. 313 00:35:07,870.4132214 --> 00:35:10,580.4132214 I lacked sleep hygiene. 314 00:35:11,210.4132214 --> 00:35:17,350.4132214 I lacked control over my internal experience and I always just felt fatigued. 315 00:35:17,410.4132214 --> 00:35:19,140.4132214 I always felt guilty. 316 00:35:19,440.4132214 --> 00:35:20,590.4132214 I always felt angry. 317 00:35:22,110.4132214 --> 00:35:30,560.4132214 You know, I kind of compartmentalized under the niche of, okay, I can't help them under this umbrella, but I can at least help them today. 318 00:35:31,100.4132214 --> 00:35:35,170.4132214 I can help them manage their thoughts and their emotions and their cravings today. 319 00:35:35,780.4132214 --> 00:35:41,290.4122214 And if I can be the person that's interjecting in their crisis today, then I can get them to tomorrow. 320 00:35:41,640.4122214 --> 00:35:44,440.4132214 That's a big responsibility for an individual to carry. 321 00:35:44,450.4132214 --> 00:35:45,760.4132214 I carry that with me. 322 00:35:46,845.4132214 --> 00:35:49,865.4132214 So much love and so much honesty and accountability. 323 00:35:49,865.4132214 --> 00:35:57,655.4132214 And, and if you're carrying that through and through, if you've been on the, if you've been on the provider side of that, you know what that does to your nervous system. 324 00:35:59,351.9132214 --> 00:36:05,625.4132214 So was this one of those places where you were being rewarded for not resting? Absolutely. 325 00:36:06,235.4132214 --> 00:36:06,915.4132214 Absolutely. 326 00:36:06,945.4132214 --> 00:36:09,795.4122214 My caseload numbers were absolutely wild. 327 00:36:09,905.4122214 --> 00:36:11,135.4122214 I was. 328 00:36:11,665.4122214 --> 00:36:20,405.4117214 I was very much a rockstar if I maintained a certain number, right? I was very much a rockstar if I kept people at certain levels of care for an expected amount of time. 329 00:36:20,455.4117214 --> 00:36:33,653.9117214 To clarify for people who don't work within the healthcare complex, what do you mean by keeping certain people in for a certain amount of time? Okay, so certain levels of care. 330 00:36:33,853.9107214 --> 00:36:36,3.9117214 So we operate within the behavioral treatment space. 331 00:36:36,3.9117214 --> 00:36:41,23.9117214 We operate in levels of care from anything from medical stabilizing, which is detox all the way out to outpatient. 332 00:36:41,803.9117214 --> 00:37:10,123.9117214 All those levels of care are determined and the amount of time that a patient is within those levels of care are determined by utilization review, which is Then a call and a conversation between the treatment center and the insurance company, right? The insurance network, meaning if I have capacity for five days in detox, but you Alex have capacity for four and you may need a longer stay in detox. 333 00:37:10,583.9117214 --> 00:37:15,363.9117214 You won't get that longer stay in detox due to criteria and appropriateness. 334 00:37:15,883.9117214 --> 00:37:19,693.9117214 That's going to become deemable through your language in the policy. 335 00:37:20,303.9117214 --> 00:37:22,213.9117214 So it really removes. 336 00:37:23,548.9117214 --> 00:37:28,608.9117214 the ability to focus on patient care because of language that's restrictive. 337 00:37:28,658.9117214 --> 00:37:34,58.9127214 It becomes a, a numbers game rather than a conversation around appropriateness. 338 00:37:35,205.4127214 --> 00:37:50,105.4127214 So if you kept a high level of people in a residential setting, navigating insurance, navigating them wanting to leave, all of the factors, you were rewarded for that sort of over functioning for the system. 339 00:37:50,115.4127214 --> 00:37:50,435.3127214 Thank you for your time. 340 00:37:51,155.4127214 --> 00:37:55,615.4127214 Because now it's like, Oh, look at how many people you have institutionalized. 341 00:37:55,858.9127214 --> 00:37:56,168.9127214 Yeah. 342 00:37:56,885.4127214 --> 00:37:57,245.4127214 Okay. 343 00:37:57,439.0127214 --> 00:37:57,958.8127214 Yeah. 344 00:37:58,238.9127214 --> 00:38:18,3.9107214 The percentage and, and I would argue that In a position like that, you're so focused on the milieu that your only interactions with the individual become then the one on one sessions which is limited time, right? As a professional, you're focused on macro rather than micro with the individual. 345 00:38:19,325.4117214 --> 00:38:26,195.4117214 So you're in this environment I would love to put some context around how we met. 346 00:38:26,205.4107214 --> 00:38:33,865.4117214 Because we're moving into a human design framework, which neither of us knew about Yeah, at the time, you're a generator. 347 00:38:33,895.4117214 --> 00:38:34,865.4117214 I'm a projector. 348 00:38:35,255.4117214 --> 00:38:39,585.4117214 You responded big time to what I was being visible about. 349 00:38:39,625.4117214 --> 00:38:43,105.4117214 And then you pursued the hell out of me and invited the hell out of me. 350 00:38:43,405.4117214 --> 00:38:48,505.4112214 Which we now have this language because we've both been so impacted by human design. 351 00:38:48,505.4112214 --> 00:38:54,945.4112214 But tell me, tell me what you saw you recognized in me and, and what happened in your body. 352 00:38:54,945.4112214 --> 00:39:03,653.9112214 Like what was the response and why are we, why are we sisters now? I mean, and I can speak in hindsight because. 353 00:39:04,18.9112214 --> 00:39:05,948.9112214 I remember it this way. 354 00:39:05,968.9112214 --> 00:39:15,318.9107214 So I part of my job with a previous employer was finding programs across the nation and finding lapses of care. 355 00:39:15,318.9107214 --> 00:39:42,238.9112214 And how do we introduce ourselves? Or how do we optimize that? Meaning? I was constantly looking for, Where the mistakes were and that meant that I was constantly studying protocols I was constantly studying other treatment centers the way that providers were applying their modalities and I remember coming across your profile and the work that you were doing and having a conversation with you and I was like I Don't have anything that I can offer you. 356 00:39:42,288.9112214 --> 00:39:47,318.9112214 Like I don't, I think you actually have a pretty sound project in your hands. 357 00:39:47,318.9112214 --> 00:39:50,198.9112214 And I think this protocol is actually going to change lives. 358 00:39:50,828.9112214 --> 00:39:54,438.9112214 And at that point I was like, I can't work for you now, but I'm going to come back for you. 359 00:39:54,568.9112214 --> 00:39:56,78.9112214 Like I will be back. 360 00:39:56,340.4112214 --> 00:40:01,308.9112214 this for the record, you did not, that part wasn't clear to me, No, I do. 361 00:40:01,470.4112214 --> 00:40:02,480.4112214 networking call. 362 00:40:03,708.9112214 --> 00:40:04,828.9112214 Yeah, I knew. 363 00:40:04,828.9112214 --> 00:40:06,388.9112214 And, and I always kept you on my radar. 364 00:40:06,388.9112214 --> 00:40:08,358.9112214 I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to make this happen. 365 00:40:08,368.9112214 --> 00:40:38,578.9112214 Cause again, like, I'm a mom, I have bills to pay, like, I'm, I'm head of household, I've been head of household since my daughter was born, like you know, numbers and money, but I knew there was something that just immediately, and I can't describe it other than pulse, there's, there's a certain pulse that my body experiences when it's a yes, and when it's a It almost translates into like the type of breath that I take in with certain people. 366 00:40:38,578.9112214 --> 00:40:43,528.9112214 It's almost like this safety that I now feel like, I think now I can describe it as safety. 367 00:40:43,558.9112214 --> 00:40:49,268.9112214 Back then I felt it as excitement as overjoy and as if I had found a unicorn. 368 00:40:49,278.9112214 --> 00:40:51,178.9112214 It's like, there's, there's something else here. 369 00:40:51,628.9112214 --> 00:40:56,528.9112214 There's a relatable identity that I, I think it was in the passion too. 370 00:40:56,528.9112214 --> 00:40:58,598.9112214 I think it was in the way that. 371 00:40:59,23.9112214 --> 00:41:08,653.9112214 You were so passionate about the pursuit of something else and an alternative method that I really resonated with because I was also deeply passionate about it. 372 00:41:09,493.9112214 --> 00:41:15,453.9122214 So I think it was more about that experience and knowing like, Oh, this is something that I can definitely pursue long term. 373 00:41:16,320.4122214 --> 00:41:25,320.4122214 So if any projectors are listening and they're in their bitter phase of what do you mean I have to wait for an invitation with recognition, that means I do nothing. 374 00:41:25,710.4112214 --> 00:41:29,30.4122214 I really want to highlight the fact that I live in Northwest Montana. 375 00:41:29,700.4122214 --> 00:41:34,440.4122214 Carla lives in Southern Florida in Miami and I'm not. 376 00:41:35,295.4122214 --> 00:41:36,945.4122214 not a diehard social media person. 377 00:41:36,945.4122214 --> 00:41:38,623.9122214 I wasn't neither was sort I. 378 00:41:39,55.4122214 --> 00:41:40,425.4122214 yeah, you found me on LinkedIn. 379 00:41:40,435.4122214 --> 00:41:43,885.4122214 I wasn't on any sort of paid LinkedIn campaign. 380 00:41:43,895.4122214 --> 00:41:45,775.4122214 I wasn't posting on a schedule. 381 00:41:45,805.4112214 --> 00:41:54,975.4122214 I was literally just oversharing my opinion when I felt like it and then forgetting I had LinkedIn after and still. 382 00:41:55,970.4122214 --> 00:42:04,320.4122214 Not only did an invitation come with recognition, but it flourished into we're now on business number two together. 383 00:42:04,320.4122214 --> 00:42:09,160.4122214 And I think it's really important to highlight that I did nothing. 384 00:42:09,430.4122214 --> 00:42:12,170.4122214 And in fact, I posted a job looking for. 385 00:42:12,665.4122214 --> 00:42:14,975.4122214 An assistant, which Carla applied for. 386 00:42:14,975.4122214 --> 00:42:21,325.4122214 And I told her that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard because she has more degrees than I do. 387 00:42:21,685.4112214 --> 00:42:24,415.4112214 And the idea of her being my assistant was ridiculous. 388 00:42:24,415.4122214 --> 00:42:26,165.4122214 And she was like, I don't care. 389 00:42:26,175.4112214 --> 00:42:30,425.4122214 How do I get in? And I said, I don't have the money to pay someone of your caliber. 390 00:42:30,465.4122214 --> 00:42:35,745.4112214 And you said, okay, I'll work for free while I do my other job until you can. 391 00:42:36,805.4112214 --> 00:42:40,935.4122214 talk about a projector receiving an invite to utilize a generator. 392 00:42:41,125.5122214 --> 00:42:54,425.4112214 And it took a lot in me to be this stranger, this woman, this incredible thinker is just in Florida, making calls on my behalf to professionals that I didn't even tell her to call. 393 00:42:54,685.4122214 --> 00:42:57,915.4117214 You'd be like, Oh, I already have, I already have a connection with that conference. 394 00:42:57,915.4117214 --> 00:42:58,535.4112214 I've handled it. 395 00:42:58,555.4122214 --> 00:43:02,615.4122214 I'm like, what the hell is this girl? In the human design community. 396 00:43:02,615.4122214 --> 00:43:06,35.4122214 There's so much discussion of the projector generator relationship. 397 00:43:06,35.4122214 --> 00:43:12,335.4112214 And I think projectors get really disheartened about waiting and generators get disheartened about like, wait, someone's going to boss me around. 398 00:43:12,335.4112214 --> 00:43:14,645.4112214 And I don't think either of us feel like that at all. 399 00:43:14,655.4122214 --> 00:43:18,395.4122214 We are just in relationship that we can't stop. 400 00:43:19,63.9122214 --> 00:43:26,13.9122214 Yeah, I mean, at least for me, I can speak to that obviously as a generator now understanding what that means. 401 00:43:26,593.9122214 --> 00:43:29,423.9122214 It has never been about bossing around. 402 00:43:29,433.9122214 --> 00:43:33,493.9122214 It's always been about you have a visual that I don't. 403 00:43:34,103.9122214 --> 00:43:45,503.9122214 You have this like capacity of holding a container where I don't and it feels very safe for me, right? Whereas before the expansive nature of my energy. 404 00:43:46,138.9122214 --> 00:43:57,108.9122214 And the rhythm and that I can just like pop off at all times was exhausting and felt untethering at times, right? Because I can just, I can just skip over so many things. 405 00:43:57,128.9122214 --> 00:44:01,608.9112214 I think your energy for me has always been so grounding. 406 00:44:01,628.9122214 --> 00:44:07,78.9112214 And truly I think it, it comes from the fact that not only do you understand me, you see me, you know. 407 00:44:07,563.9122214 --> 00:44:15,633.9122214 You know me to my very core, but you've also taken the time to do that, right? Like, I think from the very beginning, it was that constant communication. 408 00:44:15,633.9122214 --> 00:44:17,83.9112214 Like Carla, I see what you're doing. 409 00:44:17,503.9122214 --> 00:44:19,863.9112214 The center, I see what you're trying to hide behind. 410 00:44:19,903.9112214 --> 00:44:27,703.9112214 Let's like, it was this constant accountability and this safety in the relationship where I truly don't think I've ever had a relationship. 411 00:44:27,713.9112214 --> 00:44:29,343.9112214 Like what the relationship that you want to have. 412 00:44:29,433.9112214 --> 00:44:37,73.9112214 It was also that it was the fact that I recognize that I had never met anybody like you, and I don't think I had ever had a dynamic like that. 413 00:44:37,773.9112214 --> 00:44:57,233.9112214 And that safety really allowed for me even, I would argue that even more than the assisted psychotherapy, that safety allowed for me to then look at the other parts of my life and say, Oh, this is the kind of safety that, that I need, that I need to pursue in every other relationship. 414 00:44:57,233.9112214 --> 00:44:59,753.9112214 And I didn't even know this could be reciprocal. 415 00:44:59,803.9112214 --> 00:45:28,925.4112214 Like, I'm not the only one that can be the stable one here, you know? And me too, because it's a different way, what you have given me, but one, the just complete and utter invitation to see you is a delight for a projector, right? Like it doesn't get better than that, but to, You're constantly supporting my ability to be healthy and saying things like, Oh, what can I do? It's in the doing that you seemingly always have energy. 416 00:45:28,925.4112214 --> 00:45:32,815.4102214 If you need to stop, it's usually me going, Carla, go sleep for two days. 417 00:45:33,373.9112214 --> 00:45:33,663.9112214 Yeah. 418 00:45:33,885.4112214 --> 00:45:34,415.4112214 that thing. 419 00:45:34,415.5112214 --> 00:45:35,33.9112214 And Yeah. 420 00:45:35,183.9112214 --> 00:45:35,763.9112214 That's the thing. 421 00:45:35,845.4112214 --> 00:45:40,455.4112214 then you have this magic trick that I don't have in that you're just back, you do that. 422 00:45:40,455.4112214 --> 00:45:41,225.4112214 And then you're back. 423 00:45:41,235.4102214 --> 00:45:53,245.4102214 And so I think of you as someone, this gift that came into my life and allowed all of the ideas that I had to have exponentially more legs behind them. 424 00:45:53,785.4112214 --> 00:46:02,825.4112214 And that I don't think I could get as far in a healthy way without people. 425 00:46:03,165.4112214 --> 00:46:14,465.4112214 And specifically you, because we have this very odd ability to be connected during hard things without, without dissonance. 426 00:46:14,495.4102214 --> 00:46:19,985.4112214 And I think that is something that a projector and a generator can do really, really, really well. 427 00:46:20,625.4112214 --> 00:46:26,745.4112214 In my experience, the rare part that you bring to the table is a genuine invitation. 428 00:46:26,815.4112214 --> 00:46:31,695.4112214 Because I have had very few full open conversations. 429 00:46:32,40.4112214 --> 00:46:46,590.4112214 Ongoing invitations with recognition to be as transparent with someone, probably you and Chris, my partner in, as far as sacral beings in my life are the only ones that have brought that. 430 00:46:46,600.4112214 --> 00:46:53,320.4102214 And I think that is because of all of the work you did on yourself first to where you want to be seen. 431 00:46:54,790.4112214 --> 00:46:57,690.4112214 And I actually don't need that part. 432 00:46:57,750.4112214 --> 00:47:05,800.4112214 What I need is access to a beautiful, mindful of energy that can do more than I could ever do. 433 00:47:06,80.4112214 --> 00:47:11,670.4112214 And the synergy between us has been such a gift that I can't overstate. 434 00:47:11,690.4102214 --> 00:47:15,120.4112214 As an example, I was in Northwest Montana. 435 00:47:15,880.4112214 --> 00:47:24,400.4112214 Carla had made the decision that she was going to work with me before I ever even connected that that was even something that had crossed her mind. 436 00:47:24,410.4112214 --> 00:47:29,310.4112214 So if there are projects out there who are like, what do you mean? I have to wait for an invitation. 437 00:47:29,310.4112214 --> 00:47:30,160.4112214 That fucking sucks. 438 00:47:30,170.4112214 --> 00:47:30,910.4102214 Which I know. 439 00:47:30,950.4112214 --> 00:47:35,860.4112214 That's like the first thing every projector says to me is what do you mean? I have to wait. 440 00:47:36,920.4112214 --> 00:47:44,350.4112214 What if you're waiting for someone like Carla? Like what if that could just show up by being visible? That is incredible. 441 00:47:44,360.4112214 --> 00:47:46,380.4112214 So forward. 442 00:47:47,165.4112214 --> 00:47:48,815.4112214 I'm starting a company. 443 00:47:49,615.4112214 --> 00:47:51,475.4112214 announce that you're going to work for me. 444 00:47:51,835.4112214 --> 00:47:54,665.4112214 You start working for me, which was awesome. 445 00:47:54,995.4112214 --> 00:48:00,775.4102214 We're going to skyrocket through to the fact that you, working for me. 446 00:48:01,485.4112214 --> 00:48:09,755.4112214 was like we were on, I think of it as like a slip and slide, like we were going and was so fast. 447 00:48:09,755.4112214 --> 00:48:16,835.4102214 I have a very vivid memory of sitting in a hotel room with you somewhere and like me looking at you and being like. 448 00:48:17,825.4112214 --> 00:48:22,675.4112214 We just made 100, 000 this month and my email is blowing up. 449 00:48:23,75.4112214 --> 00:48:27,975.4112214 We don't have any staff for and us being like, okay. 450 00:48:28,725.4112214 --> 00:48:38,515.4112214 And it was such a, you remember, it was such a beautiful and bizarre Yeah, We were just like on our laptops, like, holy shit. 451 00:48:41,55.4112214 --> 00:48:59,865.4112214 So I want to talk about, I want to say about a year in we were making the culture, we were defining the company you ran into yourself in a really, really crazy way. 452 00:48:59,970.5112214 --> 00:49:00,940.5112214 I know the date. 453 00:49:00,940.5112214 --> 00:49:02,810.5112214 Yeah, it was terrifying. 454 00:49:03,310.5102214 --> 00:49:04,900.5102214 Intellectually speaking. 455 00:49:05,200.5102214 --> 00:49:07,270.5092214 I knew that I needed to slow down. 456 00:49:07,280.5102214 --> 00:49:08,650.5102214 I was ready for it. 457 00:49:08,790.5102214 --> 00:49:09,980.5102214 I was craving it. 458 00:49:10,0.5102214 --> 00:49:11,460.5102214 My life was craving it. 459 00:49:11,460.6102214 --> 00:49:24,915.5092214 I was craving the stability in the space between having to be Having my time and my effort being constant expectation for the results and for like the outcome of things. 460 00:49:24,915.5102214 --> 00:49:27,615.5102214 I wanted to create a little bit more space and automation behind that. 461 00:49:28,455.5102214 --> 00:49:31,75.5102214 And I think that's what we were striving for in our culture too. 462 00:49:31,75.5102214 --> 00:49:34,45.5092214 Like we wanted for people to have work life balance. 463 00:49:34,45.5102214 --> 00:49:34,360.4102214 That was really important. 464 00:49:34,690.5102214 --> 00:49:36,120.5102214 Incredibly important for us. 465 00:49:37,490.5102214 --> 00:49:38,960.5102214 My body didn't catch on to that. 466 00:49:39,830.5102214 --> 00:49:40,930.5102214 My mind knew about it. 467 00:49:40,990.5102214 --> 00:49:44,460.5102214 My brain knew about it, but my body was like, eh, we're not there yet. 468 00:49:44,880.5102214 --> 00:49:53,900.5102214 So that day I was sitting down on my sofa, watching the lion King with my kid and the right side of my body just went numb. 469 00:49:54,435.5112214 --> 00:50:09,625.5102214 And when I mean numb, I, it first started with like what felt like fire, almost like, like electric little shocks everywhere, almost like, you know, when you're going numb, that was happening from my earlobe, like all the way up here, all the way down to my toes. 470 00:50:09,725.5112214 --> 00:50:12,445.5112214 So I have a good friend of mine who's a physician. 471 00:50:12,445.5112214 --> 00:50:12,995.5107214 I text him. 472 00:50:12,995.5107214 --> 00:50:16,565.5112214 I'm like, should I be concerned? He's like, you need to run to the ER right now. 473 00:50:16,565.5112214 --> 00:50:17,415.5112214 That sounds like a stroke. 474 00:50:17,415.5112214 --> 00:50:17,995.5112214 I'm like a stroke. 475 00:50:18,185.5112214 --> 00:50:20,275.5112214 What do you, I am 32 years old. 476 00:50:20,275.5112214 --> 00:50:22,525.5112214 What do you mean a stroke? He's like, actually. 477 00:50:22,935.5112214 --> 00:50:25,895.5112214 That's the highest incidents in terms of age and women. 478 00:50:25,895.5112214 --> 00:50:27,45.5112214 I'm like, Oh my gosh. 479 00:50:27,95.5112214 --> 00:50:31,185.5112214 So 11 o'clock at night, I run with my child to the ER. 480 00:50:31,875.5112214 --> 00:50:35,785.5112214 I tell the people in the front desk what's happening. 481 00:50:36,255.5112214 --> 00:50:39,105.5112214 Next thing I know, I have like 20 professionals all over me. 482 00:50:39,105.5112214 --> 00:50:42,665.5102214 My kid is to my side, like this is happening very, very quickly. 483 00:50:43,205.5102214 --> 00:50:46,315.5112214 I'm getting the testing for everything. 484 00:50:46,315.5112214 --> 00:50:49,155.5112214 I mean, I was within a CT scan and MRI. 485 00:50:49,360.5112214 --> 00:50:52,20.5112214 Within minutes, I was strapped to IVs. 486 00:50:52,60.5112214 --> 00:50:55,500.5112214 I was, I had, I had providers to my right and to my left. 487 00:50:55,520.5112214 --> 00:50:57,920.5112214 Like it was bizarre. 488 00:50:57,990.5112214 --> 00:50:59,580.5112214 It was an out of body experience. 489 00:50:59,580.5112214 --> 00:51:02,980.5112214 It's almost like I flew out of myself and just witnessed everything that was happening. 490 00:51:02,980.5112214 --> 00:51:04,320.5112214 I'm like, I cannot have a stroke. 491 00:51:04,370.5112214 --> 00:51:05,150.5102214 I have a child. 492 00:51:05,560.5112214 --> 00:51:07,520.5112214 I'm starting my, like I'm finally in a place. 493 00:51:08,285.5112214 --> 00:51:19,595.5102214 Where I feel like I'm in control like a stroke right now cannot be what's happening to me Like I have so much to do and even as I'm thinking I'm like, oh That's that's the problem. 494 00:51:19,645.5112214 --> 00:51:36,725.5112214 Like that's what like awkward that it takes me, you know to be hospitalized and after hours and hours of testing and of obviously I'm reducing this but Hours of just waiting around and being mortified at what this means. 495 00:51:36,725.5112214 --> 00:51:38,445.5112214 Cause again, I'm a mother. 496 00:51:38,445.5112214 --> 00:51:42,515.5112214 I have this little child to look after and to be present for it. 497 00:51:42,515.5112214 --> 00:51:45,95.5102214 Like I have a whole lifetime to be present for her there. 498 00:51:45,95.5112214 --> 00:51:51,605.5102214 You know, that's, that's one of the things that just kind of everything dissipates and the only thing you think about is your loved ones. 499 00:51:51,625.5112214 --> 00:51:54,885.5112214 And obviously as a mom, that's the only thing that was going through my mind. 500 00:51:56,105.5112214 --> 00:51:59,625.5112214 only for the doctor to be like, ma'am, you had a panic attack. 501 00:51:59,625.5112214 --> 00:52:02,585.5112214 I'm like, the fuck do you mean a panic attack? I had those under control. 502 00:52:02,685.5112214 --> 00:52:04,505.5112214 What do you mean? Like, I'm a provider. 503 00:52:04,535.5112214 --> 00:52:06,435.5112214 I know what these are. 504 00:52:06,795.5112214 --> 00:52:08,965.5112214 I know how these manifest in my body. 505 00:52:09,415.5112214 --> 00:52:11,895.5112214 What do you mean? She's like, actually, no here. 506 00:52:12,297.0112214 --> 00:52:16,517.0112214 you were texting me, a licensed clinical therapist, through the whole time. 507 00:52:16,737.0112214 --> 00:52:19,357.0112214 Like, you're surrounded by providers. 508 00:52:19,425.5112214 --> 00:52:30,325.5112214 Surrounded, like I've got my bases covered, both clinical and medical, like all my friends are clinicians, medical providers, so like, what do you, what do you mean? I don't need to be at an ER to know this. 509 00:52:30,335.5112214 --> 00:52:32,965.5112214 Like I know how to diagnose a panic attack. 510 00:52:33,55.5112214 --> 00:52:33,455.5102214 Come on. 511 00:52:34,165.5112214 --> 00:52:40,635.5112214 My body have learned how to express better yet, how to project that internal stress in a different way. 512 00:52:41,85.5112214 --> 00:52:50,115.5112214 Because it was like, okay, you got these covered, and you think you can manage this, but you're not addressing this other stuff, and this is how we're gonna make it now. 513 00:52:50,655.5102214 --> 00:53:00,255.5112214 So it was very much a very hard and fast way for me to run into myself in the most in the most evil way, truly, because it was, it was mortifying. 514 00:53:00,315.5112214 --> 00:53:01,255.5112214 It was mortifying. 515 00:53:01,285.5112214 --> 00:53:02,455.5112214 It was embarrassing. 516 00:53:03,145.5112214 --> 00:53:09,205.5107214 It was terrifying to my child for her to have me witness like that or for her to be exposed to that. 517 00:53:09,205.5107214 --> 00:53:11,425.5107214 And that was definite. 518 00:53:11,455.5117214 --> 00:53:13,65.5107214 I have it written in my notes. 519 00:53:13,305.5107214 --> 00:53:15,695.5117214 It's the first thing I look at every day is like this. 520 00:53:15,845.5117214 --> 00:53:18,605.5117214 There's a reason that was, that was my point of no return. 521 00:53:19,857.0117214 --> 00:53:29,7.0107214 I remember the next day, and I remember saying something along the lines of Carla, nobody is asking you to work this hard. 522 00:53:29,510.5117214 --> 00:53:29,920.5117214 Yeah. 523 00:53:30,77.0107214 --> 00:53:33,437.0117214 I specifically said, I am your fucking boss. 524 00:53:33,927.0117214 --> 00:53:36,257.0117214 I am not telling you to do this. 525 00:53:37,137.0117214 --> 00:53:41,737.0117214 will do fine without you putting yourself in the hospital stop. 526 00:53:42,730.5117214 --> 00:53:43,30.5117214 Yeah. 527 00:53:43,372.0117214 --> 00:53:47,262.0117214 I remember you were just sort of like, yeah. 528 00:53:48,640.5117214 --> 00:54:07,265.5117214 I even have, I laugh because I, on top of the date, there's this saying in Spanish at the very least in Puerto Rico, that's like, en serio, which means like, really? You really, like, you really had to put yourself through this to get, out of all things, this is what you had to experience to, to have it be. 529 00:54:07,515.5117214 --> 00:54:25,40.5117214 And that's terrifying, because what if I, what if it was a stroke? What if it was some medical complication that would have severely impacted my capacity of being a functional mother and, like, being present in my daughter's life? There, that could have ended up in so many different ways. 530 00:54:25,40.5117214 --> 00:54:32,900.5117214 And again, that was, that was very much my point of like, okay, I, I really have to understand how to do things differently. 531 00:54:33,877.0117214 --> 00:54:40,467.0107214 Yeah, we had a huge come to Jesus even within the leadership team at our company, which was, we will not. 532 00:54:41,972.0107214 --> 00:54:49,82.0107214 in ourselves what has been reproduced so many times with other, employers. 533 00:54:49,122.0107214 --> 00:54:54,812.0107214 And we really dove into human design in a big way, even more so at that point. 534 00:54:55,192.0107214 --> 00:54:59,882.0117214 Just for context for everyone listening, you're a quad left emotional generator. 535 00:55:00,22.0117214 --> 00:55:01,452.0117214 You're two, four profile. 536 00:55:01,452.0117214 --> 00:55:02,592.0117214 You have a defined route. 537 00:55:02,682.0117214 --> 00:55:03,232.0117214 So. 538 00:55:04,327.0127214 --> 00:55:15,127.0127214 First talk about how you adjusted just your schedule, your approach to life, work, friendships, romantic relationships, like a lot changed right after that. 539 00:55:16,355.5127214 --> 00:55:25,805.5127214 Yeah, I'll preface that with saying like I had left that environment, but that the memory of that environment was still very present in my nervous system. 540 00:55:26,875.5127214 --> 00:55:32,225.5127214 I think block scheduling and so many other adaptations into my life. 541 00:55:32,705.5127214 --> 00:55:37,395.5137214 I'll say this, we have to create automation and systems. 542 00:55:38,135.5137214 --> 00:55:43,495.5137214 That can support us at our lowest point, not just when we're thriving, right? And I learned that the hard way. 543 00:55:43,495.5137214 --> 00:55:56,620.5137214 I think I was able to create a block scheduling that supported my need for a container because the more and more I dive into human design and understanding, like And you and I talk about this all the time. 544 00:55:56,650.5137214 --> 00:55:58,130.5137214 I am a numbers monkey. 545 00:55:58,150.5137214 --> 00:56:01,870.5137214 I am a science driven, evidence based numbers monkey. 546 00:56:01,870.5137214 --> 00:56:09,60.5137214 The concept of human design was like, what do you mean? What do you mean I have an emotional authority? What does that mean? Right. 547 00:56:09,150.5137214 --> 00:56:11,750.5127214 And you and I joke around a lot about this, but I started. 548 00:56:12,310.5137214 --> 00:56:36,500.5137214 Just trusting in that guidance from you and understanding, really perceiving it almost like a clinical lens, like an energetic and stimulus processing kind of framework, right? And so I was like, okay, I think what I'm hearing is that I receive emotional cues, and then I have to process them in my own time before I expect myself to respond in some sort of a behavioral way. 549 00:56:37,207.0137214 --> 00:56:39,627.0132214 This that, good place to, to flesh out. 550 00:56:39,627.0132214 --> 00:56:42,547.0137214 So you're talking about how you are an emotional authority. 551 00:56:42,847.0137214 --> 00:56:44,237.0137214 You have a defined sake role. 552 00:56:44,237.0137214 --> 00:56:49,962.0137214 And I would say, From a sacral response for those listening, that's often a very physical response for people. 553 00:56:49,972.0137214 --> 00:56:52,332.0137214 Generators have this response to stimuli. 554 00:56:52,622.0137214 --> 00:56:53,652.0137214 You have a huge one. 555 00:56:53,652.0137214 --> 00:56:56,32.0137214 You usually have like a physiological, you have goosebumps. 556 00:56:56,502.0137214 --> 00:56:59,572.0137214 Carla's always like over zoom, like look at my arm, look at my goosebumps. 557 00:57:00,500.5137214 --> 00:57:04,352.0127214 yeah, yeah, for you is you are an emotional authority. 558 00:57:04,352.0127214 --> 00:57:08,382.0137214 So you have these major responses and it actually doesn't mean it's for you. 559 00:57:08,920.5137214 --> 00:57:09,522.0137214 yeah, it's worth. 560 00:57:09,987.0137214 --> 00:57:12,847.0137214 Considering, but sometimes you have that response. 561 00:57:12,867.0137214 --> 00:57:19,307.0127214 And then literally two days later, you're like, Alex, I had this really big response, but now that I've really processed it, I just don't think it's worth our time. 562 00:57:19,507.0137214 --> 00:57:20,857.0127214 Like you say that all the time. 563 00:57:21,147.0137214 --> 00:57:26,997.0137214 Whereas when I met you, you trusted, as long as you had the goosebumps, it meant run towards the fire. 564 00:57:27,400.5127214 --> 00:57:29,200.5127214 You do need to trust your body. 565 00:57:29,420.5127214 --> 00:57:31,890.5117214 You do have very valid responses. 566 00:57:32,130.5127214 --> 00:57:38,740.5112214 It's just, then your authority needs time decide if that response is for you or not. 567 00:57:38,750.5112214 --> 00:57:49,664.0122214 What was it like figuring out how to put space between the goosebumps and the decision? I mean, really through a lot of conversation with you because I've, I've learned. 568 00:57:50,824.0122214 --> 00:58:01,464.0112214 So for me, okay, my own body, not only am I hyper aware of my internal experience, both through trauma, and I think just who I am as a person and like my capacity. 569 00:58:03,164.0122214 --> 00:58:17,624.0122214 I respond not only through like a little bit of goosebumps, it's a full, like from the tip of my head to my toes, like it's a full on, of the most developed sacral responses very, it's very obvious. 570 00:58:18,294.0122214 --> 00:58:20,84.0122214 And it doesn't just happen with that. 571 00:58:20,94.0112214 --> 00:58:47,724.0122214 It also comes with like a shortness of breath that it's like, Oh, this is something like this is very, it sits on me for some time, right? That could be perceived as a trauma response too, right? Like, I will say that I think that also has a lot to do with my attunement to people because of the things that I've experienced in life, and I've moved far enough in my own recovery of things that have happened that I can understand the difference now. 572 00:58:48,164.0122214 --> 00:58:56,564.0112214 Before, I confused that with a sense of urgency with a pull with like, there's something dragging me in that direction. 573 00:58:56,985.6122214 --> 00:59:10,303.0122214 Okay. 574 00:59:10,589.0122214 --> 00:59:32,314.0122214 is important So important that I need to pause and I need to stop what i'm doing acknowledge it create stillness around it And then figure out what's happening and what's, what's an inviting within me before I can respond to it because I do have this like big emotional wave that I go through that usually my first emotional and thought response is not mine. 575 00:59:32,694.0122214 --> 00:59:39,334.0122214 It usually is through social expectations, through external dynamics, external opinions. 576 00:59:39,874.0122214 --> 00:59:40,863.9122214 I usually have. 577 00:59:41,4.0122214 --> 00:59:43,194.0122214 Either one or two rounds that are not mine. 578 00:59:43,554.0122214 --> 00:59:46,494.0122214 And then I arrive at a place where I sink into that feeling. 579 00:59:46,494.0122214 --> 00:59:48,94.0122214 And then I'm like, okay, this, this is me. 580 00:59:48,134.0122214 --> 00:59:50,644.0122214 This is centered and rooted in what I believe in. 581 00:59:51,254.0122214 --> 00:59:58,994.0122214 Whether that's through both the human design and the way that I'm, I'm made up and the way that I process stimuli and energy altogether. 582 00:59:59,914.0122214 --> 01:00:04,154.0122214 Or a combination of, you know, the multitude of things that I've really exposed myself to. 583 01:00:04,154.0122214 --> 01:00:09,264.0112214 I think I've gotten to a point where I have fine tuned up, but I also think it has a lot to do with our relationship. 584 01:00:09,744.0122214 --> 01:00:30,854.0122214 I think that the diversity in communications and the ulterior processing styles that are very much the center of how you and I are in relationship with one another really allowed me to open up and say, Oh, there's other ways that I can go about this. 585 01:00:30,854.0122214 --> 01:00:33,244.0122214 And I'm not in a rush to have to have an answer. 586 01:00:36,220.5122214 --> 01:00:45,120.5122214 And a lot of relationships have changed and fallen away for both of us, think right before we met and then through our friendship. 587 01:00:45,964.0122214 --> 01:00:46,184.0122214 Yeah. 588 01:00:46,184.0122214 --> 01:00:50,824.0122214 For me, mostly through there was, there think was only a way through. 589 01:00:51,440.5122214 --> 01:01:13,300.4122214 I think that, I think that it's really, really powerful in the context of rest for us to consider that relationship as two professional women with responsibilities and personal and professional challenges, both of us unapologetically unapologetically. 590 01:01:13,690.5122214 --> 01:01:16,620.5122214 Tuning into what the other needs, which is different between us. 591 01:01:16,620.5122214 --> 01:01:28,870.5122214 We have very different needs then supporting each other from both a professional and a personal place, kind of an unapologetic way, both publicly and privately. 592 01:01:29,290.5122214 --> 01:01:32,540.5112214 I think that that allows a different sort of. 593 01:01:32,895.5122214 --> 01:01:52,625.5122214 Rest in this world because it's a type of community that as a woman, I don't think I've had a ton of access to, especially in over, there's the sacral response, especially in an overlapping professional, because these are my companies, they're your companies too. 594 01:01:52,645.5122214 --> 01:01:54,105.5122214 Like I'm just the one who signs it. 595 01:01:54,175.5122214 --> 01:02:07,64.0122214 I just think that it's so revolutionary, but it's so simple and that allows both of us to rest like, you know, if I say, turn it off for two days that you can turn it off and you don't have Yeah. 596 01:02:07,284.0122214 --> 01:02:09,384.0122214 Mm-Hmm? And if you say, Mm-Hmm. 597 01:02:09,495.5112214 --> 01:02:10,675.5112214 I will handle this. 598 01:02:11,455.5122214 --> 01:02:12,504.0122214 get to just Mm-Hmm. 599 01:02:12,695.5122214 --> 01:02:15,395.5122214 done like her energy's got this. 600 01:02:15,415.5122214 --> 01:02:28,915.5112214 And I think that that is something that, you know, we joke, like if it comes down to it and you're moving to my property in Montana and you're making butter while I take care of the chickens, right? Like we're good. 601 01:02:29,905.5122214 --> 01:02:38,365.5122214 And I just, I really want to highlight, I think that's quite revolutionary, especially in a world that's trying to tear often tear professional women apart. 602 01:02:40,279.0122214 --> 01:02:43,159.0122214 You know, I think for, at least for me, I'll speak for myself. 603 01:02:43,259.0122214 --> 01:02:52,219.0122214 I think that's so rooted in trust and it's, I think the way that we have built trust is not the common way. 604 01:02:52,219.0122214 --> 01:02:54,69.0122214 Like it's the most. 605 01:02:54,459.0122214 --> 01:03:19,349.0122214 Reasonable and efficient way because we've followed words and promises with action and we've been able to just do that over and over and over again that I think we've compiled this dynamic on such a solid foundation of momentum and action that just speaks to my heart because I'm I'm a person of action and I really don't have a lot of that in my life. 606 01:03:19,349.0122214 --> 01:03:24,509.0122214 So I think For me, there was a lot of safety in matching words with action. 607 01:03:24,519.0122214 --> 01:03:26,89.0122214 Like it was just through and through to a point. 608 01:03:26,89.0122214 --> 01:03:26,809.0122214 I tell you all the time. 609 01:03:26,809.0122214 --> 01:03:29,39.0122214 I trust you with absolutely everything in my life. 610 01:03:29,89.0122214 --> 01:03:34,209.0122214 And I trust that even when I can't get to a point where I'm making objective. 611 01:03:34,799.0122214 --> 01:03:35,849.0122214 Calls in my life. 612 01:03:36,159.0122214 --> 01:03:36,969.0122214 I reach out to you. 613 01:03:37,229.0122214 --> 01:03:39,109.0122214 Like, I, I know that I can do that. 614 01:03:39,109.0122214 --> 01:03:39,469.0122214 Right. 615 01:03:40,199.0122214 --> 01:03:44,29.0122214 I perceive it more through the clinical side of things. 616 01:03:44,29.0122214 --> 01:03:48,599.0122214 And because that's just my nature, I've reached out to you because I don't understand the human design lens. 617 01:03:48,669.0112214 --> 01:03:55,159.0112214 Nowhere near as much as you do for me, it was always just this immediate sense of being. 618 01:03:55,694.0122214 --> 01:04:02,514.0122214 Perceived in the most honest and the most comprehensive and complete way that I have ever been perceived. 619 01:04:03,99.0122214 --> 01:04:06,619.0122214 Right? Like I, I don't let a lot of people in for good reason. 620 01:04:07,249.0122214 --> 01:04:12,279.0122214 And when I do let people in, it has always been fragmented. 621 01:04:12,279.0122214 --> 01:04:14,29.0122214 It's been with intention. 622 01:04:14,29.0122214 --> 01:04:19,419.0122214 It's been very methodical because I am very intentional about the dynamics that I do have in my life. 623 01:04:19,889.0122214 --> 01:04:35,249.0112214 And those that I have let in to a full extent at some point let me down, right? And that's, that's a sad thing to say, right? Like I'm in the process in my life in my 30s where I, I am intentionally letting people in and that comes with a risk factor of people disappointing you. 624 01:04:35,615.5122214 --> 01:04:39,255.5122214 You know, not often do we get to say like this person hasn't disappointed me. 625 01:04:39,315.5122214 --> 01:04:57,125.5132214 In fact, they've made my life exponentially better and we happen to have a collective between the three of us where At every single juncture that we have to make a decision like that the growth is just immediate like we can just trust in the fact that it's going to happen because we have Data to support it. 626 01:04:57,375.5132214 --> 01:05:02,637.0132214 We have proof of concept that it just keeps happening over and over again Yeah. 627 01:05:02,637.0132214 --> 01:05:15,802.0132214 I mean, one more little human design example, so with my splenic authority, I make decisions before I have any fucking clue what I'm doing It's wild You with an emotional authority, exactly the opposite. 628 01:05:15,822.0132214 --> 01:05:17,782.0132214 You process first me. 629 01:05:17,812.0132214 --> 01:05:20,412.0132214 I literally say to you, I'm doing this. 630 01:05:20,452.0132214 --> 01:05:23,72.0132214 I don't know why I will tell you in seven months. 631 01:05:23,462.0132214 --> 01:05:27,62.0132214 You say, Alex, I cannot engage with this yet. 632 01:05:27,520.5132214 --> 01:05:29,182.0122214 Yeah, about this in a few months. 633 01:05:29,182.0122214 --> 01:05:32,142.0132214 Like we have exactly this beautiful mirror image of it. 634 01:05:32,582.0132214 --> 01:05:40,392.0132214 But what I think is so amazing is that to find rest and confidence in that you will say things like. 635 01:05:40,627.0132214 --> 01:05:41,597.0132214 I trust your spleen. 636 01:05:42,280.5132214 --> 01:05:44,120.5132214 it's making me want to throw up right now. 637 01:05:44,120.5132214 --> 01:05:46,310.5132214 I can't but yes, I trust it. 638 01:05:46,967.0132214 --> 01:05:48,257.0132214 Yes, spleen likes risk. 639 01:05:48,447.0132214 --> 01:05:56,95.5132214 And, and then I can do the same where I can say, Hey, this is the thing, but take your time Mm hmm. 640 01:05:56,95.5132214 --> 01:05:58,340.5132214 Mm let you be, because hmm. 641 01:05:58,340.6132214 --> 01:06:01,410.5732214 Mm hmm. 642 01:06:01,410.5732214 --> 01:06:02,945.5532214 Mm. 643 01:06:02,945.5532214 --> 01:06:04,480.5332214 Yeah. 644 01:06:04,480.5332214 --> 01:06:06,15.5132214 Mm. 645 01:06:06,15.5132214 --> 01:06:09,85.4732214 Mm hmm. 646 01:06:09,85.4732214 --> 01:06:10,620.4532214 Mm. 647 01:06:10,620.4532214 --> 01:06:12,155.4332214 Oh. 648 01:06:12,155.4332214 --> 01:06:13,690.4132214 Yeah. 649 01:06:13,697.0132214 --> 01:06:14,917.0132214 have a basis of trust. 650 01:06:14,917.0132214 --> 01:06:19,357.0132214 We have a language that explains why you're scaring the crap out of me, Alex. 651 01:06:19,377.0132214 --> 01:06:27,257.0132214 And I have language to say, like, Carla hasn't been willing to discuss this in eight weeks, but she will be eventually willing to discuss it. 652 01:06:28,597.0132214 --> 01:06:31,537.0132214 Because you have named, I cannot discuss this yet. 653 01:06:31,547.0132214 --> 01:06:35,27.0132214 I need to ride a lot of emotions that are coming up for me. 654 01:06:35,317.0132214 --> 01:06:39,97.0132214 And I can say, I don't have the words to explain this decision to you yet. 655 01:06:39,317.0132214 --> 01:06:42,47.0122214 I promise when I have, then I will backfill. 656 01:06:42,407.0122214 --> 01:06:50,697.0132214 And the fact that we are able to see that in each other allows for a healthy relationship dynamic, which allows for nervous system rest. 657 01:06:50,897.0132214 --> 01:06:56,417.0132214 You and I are a really good example of exploring that through relationship in a very different way. 658 01:06:57,280.5132214 --> 01:06:58,280.5132214 Very much so. 659 01:06:58,280.5132214 --> 01:06:58,970.5132214 Oh my gosh. 660 01:06:59,70.5132214 --> 01:07:57,175.5112214 Rust for me looks very different from you, right? Like, rust for me means I am around people, I am socializing, I'm engaging in connection, I am Engaging and hugs and love from people like I'm I'm bringing people close for that rest because I do process a lot of my own, my own physiological responses through the attunement of others like it's it's really If I can fine tune it I think I'm a true ambivert in that way, right, where I need both my time to socialize with people and my time to just rest in my cave for two days and rot away and not be even perceived, you know, because I think a lot of it is through the perception of it all right, whereas for you, sometimes it just means that you need to be horizontal for the entire weekend and be able to do, you know, connect with your chickens and be able to be out in your land, like there's a very different response to it. 661 01:07:57,175.6112214 --> 01:07:57,240.4122214 Right. 662 01:07:57,790.5122214 --> 01:08:07,310.5112214 I also think that I've also clocked in on how I need rest before I actually need it before my body needs it. 663 01:08:07,360.5122214 --> 01:08:08,830.5112214 I've learned to forecast it. 664 01:08:09,220.5122214 --> 01:08:13,640.5122214 I've learned to create an expectation of when I'm going to need it. 665 01:08:14,160.5112214 --> 01:08:16,920.5112214 It often has a lot to do with my hormonal cycles. 666 01:08:17,320.5112214 --> 01:08:19,620.5112214 Sometimes it has to do like, for example, this month. 667 01:08:19,760.5122214 --> 01:08:25,210.5122214 I know that I'm going to be putting out a lot of social engagement just because of the holiday season. 668 01:08:25,655.5122214 --> 01:08:27,745.5122214 So I prepare myself in a different way. 669 01:08:27,745.5122214 --> 01:08:33,625.5122214 I have periods and lulls where I give myself safety net to be able to get to that point where I can be expansive. 670 01:08:34,215.5122214 --> 01:08:37,35.5122214 Whereas before I, I would have just. 671 01:08:37,460.5122214 --> 01:09:11,545.5122214 Gone with, you know, just kept going and going and going and then wonder why I end up with panic attacks Where I wonder why I my nervous system is shot, right? so I think I've learned to Be a little bit more predictive and strategic about my energy and and do so in a way that can be both instrumental in our professional world and make money off of it I've also learned to be intentional with it on a personal space and, and understand how that can be restorative for me. 672 01:09:13,787.0122214 --> 01:09:19,827.0122214 Well, I'm only going to ask one more question because even though we talk every day, I could talk to you all day long. 673 01:09:19,837.0122214 --> 01:09:21,27.0122214 It's ridiculous. 674 01:09:21,677.0122214 --> 01:09:25,235.5112214 And we didn't even touch men, which is Shit. 675 01:09:25,235.6112214 --> 01:09:34,317.0122214 Oh I would love to know how you're changing the world right now. 676 01:09:35,965.5122214 --> 01:09:43,265.5122214 my gosh, how am I changing the world? Every time that I'm asked something of this nature, I always think about my daughter. 677 01:09:43,265.5122214 --> 01:09:52,35.5112214 Cause like through her, I get to see the different type of human being that she's that I'm putting out into the world. 678 01:09:52,35.5112214 --> 01:09:54,485.4122214 And I think she's a true Testament of. 679 01:09:54,885.5122214 --> 01:10:15,362.0122214 All the solutions and all the mistakes I've made and all the lessons I've learned and she's just like, you know, this little human that I get to put out into the world with all the answers to the things that I didn't have access to and even at her young age of 12, the things that she says, sometimes I'm like, Oh my God, like this is what, be on the podcast. 680 01:10:15,362.0122214 --> 01:10:16,92.0122214 Don't you worry. 681 01:10:16,185.5112214 --> 01:10:34,670.4122214 Oh my gosh, she has to, it's, it's Wild to see her in action, but I, I want to believe that with as much pain and grief and things that I have gone through, I truly operate from the space of love and continuous love. 682 01:10:35,660.5122214 --> 01:10:51,920.5112214 ability to provide for people and to continue educating other families and other individuals that were in a place where my family was 15, 20 years ago, where we didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, or we really thought that we were done with opportunities. 683 01:10:52,530.5112214 --> 01:11:06,175.5112214 I think for me, what gives me that continuous urge is being able to support people and seeing a way out and being able to like, see the light come back up in their eyes and seeing like, Oh, we can actually handle this. 684 01:11:06,185.5112214 --> 01:11:07,945.5112214 Like we can actually find a way out. 685 01:11:08,545.5112214 --> 01:11:11,155.5112214 I think that's my mission as a human being. 686 01:11:11,155.5112214 --> 01:11:13,825.5102214 I was put on earth to do exactly what I'm doing. 687 01:11:13,825.5112214 --> 01:11:17,105.5112214 I mean, it's confirmed time and time again. 688 01:11:17,955.5102214 --> 01:11:22,845.5112214 So I think if I, if I continue doing this for the rest of my life, I'm going to be one happy human. 689 01:11:22,845.6112214 --> 01:11:25,350.4112214 Yes. 690 01:11:25,357.0112214 --> 01:11:27,557.0112214 happy human that you are in my life. 691 01:11:28,217.0112214 --> 01:11:34,927.0112214 How can people get in touch with you? Yes, they can find me through either Instagram, LinkedIn. 692 01:11:34,947.0112214 --> 01:11:36,517.0102214 We also have our website. 693 01:11:36,617.0112214 --> 01:11:37,807.0112214 And also through email. 694 01:11:37,897.0112214 --> 01:11:39,487.0112214 I think that's the best method of contact. 695 01:11:40,303.5112214 --> 01:11:40,673.5112214 Awesome. 696 01:11:40,693.5112214 --> 01:11:45,543.5112214 I will throw of Carla's projects in the show notes. 697 01:11:45,563.5112214 --> 01:11:47,583.5112214 And thank you so much for being here. 698 01:11:47,593.5112214 --> 01:11:50,433.5112214 If we have covered so much, you will be back. 699 01:12:03,723.5102214 --> 01:12:04,533.5102214 Thanks for listening. 700 01:12:04,713.5102214 --> 01:12:11,103.5102214 If you enjoyed this episode, please remember to like and subscribe, and if you know someone who might find value in what you've heard, please share.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Cardiac Cowboys

Cardiac Cowboys

The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.

Crime Junkie

Crime Junkie

Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.