Rest, Deconditioning, and Radical Self-Trust with the Magical 2/4 Emotional Projector, Bridjett Miller

In this episode of Rest for the Revolution, Alex sits down with the magical 2/4 Emotional Projector, Bridjett Miller, to explore the transformative power of rest, self-trust, and deconditioning from societal and familial expectations.

Bridjett shares her deeply personal journey—from childhood experiences of shame around rest, through the pressures of societal conditioning, to leaving religion and a career in nursing—toward discovering what it truly means to honor her own energy and emotional authority. Along the way, she reflects on play, connection, and the radical freedom of listening to her body, even when it goes against what the world expects.

Together, Alex and Bridjett discuss:

• How rest has evolved throughout Bridjett’s life—from play as a child to restorative practices in adulthood.

• The challenges of navigating family, societal expectations, and capitalism as a Projector.

• What it means to “decondition” and step into your own authority.

• How Human Design can offer a safe framework for self-understanding without prescription.

• The revolutionary impact of simply existing in alignment with your own rhythm.

This conversation is a heartfelt reminder that honoring your unique design isn’t indulgence—it’s resistance. If you’ve ever felt out of sync with the world or questioned your own wisdom, this episode is for you.

Find Bridgett at the team page of www.revhumandesign.com!

Support the Podcast: Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share if this episode resonated with you.

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
This is rest for the revolution.
A projector's dilemma.
Hello and welcome to rest for the revolution.
I have the magical two four emotional projector Bridget Miller here.
I'm so excited to have you Thanks.
Excited to be here.
I always start with this question.
.001What throughout your life has your relationship to rest been like? That's a good question. 9 00:00:29,256.001 --> 00:00:35,51.001 I think I'm really good at shaming myself for needing rest. 10 00:00:38,271.001 --> 00:00:49,121 I think that's just, I've always needed a lot of rest and I've always known I needed a lot of rest, but I think in my family growing up, that was something that was like really looked down on. 11 00:00:50,191.002 --> 00:01:25,631.001 like come from a big bootstrap and, one parent was Always working had a lot of energy and one parent wasn't and that caused a lot of conflict So I think from that I kind of learned like rest equals bad, you know Working all the time equals good so it's something that I've always felt drawn to is resting and I've always felt better with but it's also something that I Think has been one of the things I felt the most guilty of In my life. 12 00:01:25,921.001 --> 00:01:29,691.001 And now I think I freaking love it. 13 00:01:29,731.001 --> 00:01:30,611.001 It's amazing. 14 00:01:30,821.001 --> 00:01:36,91.001 But it, that voice definitely still creeps in where it's like, Oh, you like haven't done that much. 15 00:01:36,91.001 --> 00:01:38,401.001 You shouldn't need to lay on the couch for 10 minutes. 16 00:01:38,401.001 --> 00:01:40,471 And you're like, you're right. 17 00:01:40,641.001 --> 00:01:43,151.001 I mean, it's just so sneaky and insidious. 18 00:01:43,151.002 --> 00:01:45,481.001 How that like hustle voice comes back in. 19 00:01:45,901.001 --> 00:01:56,431.001 But I think where I'm at now, we're getting there, you know, like even before hopping on this call with you, I was like, what should I do? I have like 15 minutes. 20 00:01:56,431.001 --> 00:02:00,11.001 What should I do? And I was like, I should probably just sit on the couch. 21 00:02:00,261.001 --> 00:02:01,101.001 That would be good. 22 00:02:01,821.001 --> 00:02:02,815.001 And, Okay. 23 00:02:03,711.001 --> 00:02:04,411 I think it's helpful. 24 00:02:06,385.001 --> 00:02:15,176.001 Has rest looked like different things in your life? Like, has it always looked the same or is it different now than when you were a kid? Or, That's a, that's a great question. 25 00:02:15,196.001 --> 00:02:18,996.001 I think I was a kid, it was just playing, I think. 26 00:02:19,836.001 --> 00:02:22,396 And ironically, I've been thinking about this a lot. 27 00:02:22,466.001 --> 00:02:24,126.001 I mean, it was just Thanksgiving. 28 00:02:24,126.001 --> 00:02:27,966 We all saw our families or many of us did, and that always brings up a lot. 29 00:02:27,966.001 --> 00:02:33,766.001 And so I've been reflecting and I realized I wasn't actually given space to do a lot of playing as a kid. 30 00:02:34,606.001 --> 00:02:40,106.001 And I think back on that time, that's what rest felt like. 31 00:02:40,126.001 --> 00:02:41,366.001 I grew up in a rural area. 32 00:02:41,366.001 --> 00:02:44,986.001 So it was going out into the woods behind my house and just playing. 33 00:02:44,996.001 --> 00:02:50,846.001 It so rejuvenative, but as a kid I didn't realize that that's what I was doing. 34 00:02:51,536.001 --> 00:03:14,802 Then I don't know that I actually got quality rest from the time I was 15 to the time I was 25 or 28, you know? wow what happened? Well, I think I would just be like so exhausted that it looked like laying on the couch, which is fine and watching TV, which is fine, but it wasn't actually like rejuvenative. 35 00:03:14,812.001 --> 00:03:18,532 It was just like, oh, I'm so tired that I have to do nothing. 36 00:03:19,522.001 --> 00:03:23,442.001 So I was just always operating from that like empty tank space. 37 00:03:23,892.001 --> 00:03:29,612.001 And it turns out, it's easier to recharge if you're not, like, all the way empty. 38 00:03:30,172.001 --> 00:03:34,212 And I think favorite moments of rest are moments of play. 39 00:03:35,872.001 --> 00:03:47,452.001 whether it's, playing with my dog, or creatively, or in the summer when I have a garden, just, going outside and just around. 40 00:03:48,522.001 --> 00:03:51,712.001 any real plan and no to do list. 41 00:03:51,902.001 --> 00:03:52,952.001 I think maybe that's it. 42 00:03:53,972.001 --> 00:03:59,481.001 feels like no to do list and just, Yeah, that receptive vibe. 43 00:04:00,2.001 --> 00:04:01,412.001 yeah, yeah. 44 00:04:03,81.001 --> 00:04:07,661.0005 So you mentioned your family and not really having space for rest. 45 00:04:07,661.0005 --> 00:04:14,771.001 What was the culture of rest like in your family? Because it seems like you've been working intentionally on this from what you're saying. 46 00:04:14,781.001 --> 00:04:18,201.001 This doesn't feel like a topic that you haven't considered. 47 00:04:18,211.001 --> 00:04:24,531.001 So did you recognize as a child or did you think, Oh man, something's wrong with me. 48 00:04:24,531.001 --> 00:04:25,321.001 I'm tired. 49 00:04:26,207.001 --> 00:04:34,557.001 Well, I definitely thought something was wrong with me all the time I was so different or felt so different as like every projector probably does. 50 00:04:35,217.001 --> 00:04:40,957.001 So it was, yeah, definitely a shameful experience to need. 51 00:04:41,917.001 --> 00:04:52,717.001 And I also think, you know, my family wasn't so good at, quality, living. 52 00:04:53,457.001 --> 00:04:57,467.001 Growing up, there was a lot of, it felt like survival, or a lot of frustration.

(04:57):
.999And to me, rest is, I think, existing in that, that deep, deep space without that to do list where you can just be receptive, but you're still plugged in to life. 54 00:05:09,396.999 --> 00:05:25,176.999 And that was kind of hard to access as a kid, but I don't think I actually, you know, could have ever found language for this or realized any of this was happening without, a massive journey leading up to it. 55 00:05:25,226.999 --> 00:05:33,960.998 My brain didn't interpret that to be my experience in the moment So that journey, you're a kid. 56 00:05:34,10.998 --> 00:05:39,500.998 You don't know why you feel different, but you know that you don't feel like everybody else. 57 00:05:39,840.998 --> 00:05:46,20.997 And then you marked, I think 15 as when you really stopped getting quality rest. 58 00:05:46,20.998 --> 00:05:46,200.998 Yeah. 59 00:05:46,200.998 --> 00:05:56,61.03133333 What happened then? Hello. 60 00:05:56,61.03133333 --> 00:06:04,865.96466667 Hello. 61 00:06:04,865.96466667 --> 00:06:13,670.898 Hello. 62 00:06:13,956.997 --> 00:06:14,516.998 did not. 63 00:06:14,537.098 --> 00:06:21,226.998 that criteria of what was acceptable, I inherently felt othered. 64 00:06:21,226.998 --> 00:06:27,936.997 And so that made me work so hard to shift who I was to fit that criteria. 65 00:06:27,956.997 --> 00:06:29,906.998 And I just, that was so exhausting. 66 00:06:29,916.998 --> 00:06:57,641.996 And especially as a teenager, as a teen girl There were already so many expectations on me at that time in my life, whether it be how you look or what you're good at, who your friends are, but then to have an added level of like, And you can't be too loud, and you can't walk in a certain way, you can't make too many friends, and you can't spend your time doing things you enjoy, you should spend your time doing things that benefit others. 67 00:06:59,521.997 --> 00:07:04,421.996 I think that just became a really intense, toxic cycle. 68 00:07:05,451.997 --> 00:07:16,566.997 that feeling of not belonging was there that entire time, and I had no Inner wisdom at that time to tell me that there was a different way out of it. 69 00:07:16,566.997 --> 00:07:20,306.997 And I had no mentors in my life at that time to tell me that there was a different way out of it. 70 00:07:20,886.997 --> 00:07:31,626.996 And so in my mind, the only way out of it was like changing myself, working hard to hustle through it or to become something wasn't actually my nature. 71 00:07:35,140.997 --> 00:07:50,131.997 Were there any major, come to Jesus moments with that in that 15 to 25, 28 years old? Was it just simmering or did this bite you in the ass? Oh, all of the above. 72 00:07:50,211.997 --> 00:07:51,281.997 I can give you the timeline. 73 00:07:51,311.997 --> 00:07:53,781.997 It's simmered from like 15 to 19. 74 00:07:54,61.997 --> 00:07:58,281.997 And then 19 when my parents got divorced, it just exploded. 75 00:07:58,291.997 --> 00:08:00,21.997 And I was so angry. 76 00:08:01,461.997 --> 00:08:05,71.996 And so in my anger, I was just like, nothing matters. 77 00:08:05,111.997 --> 00:08:06,461.996 I believe in nothing. 78 00:08:07,581.997 --> 00:08:15,1.997 And, I think you could probably make an argument that that's when some deconditioning started. 79 00:08:15,401.997 --> 00:08:15,771.997 Right. 80 00:08:15,821.997 --> 00:08:17,681.897 Even though that was probably one of the most obvious things. 81 00:08:17,871.997 --> 00:08:20,661.997 painful experiences of my life. 82 00:08:20,671.997 --> 00:08:25,701.997 I think oftentimes that brings us deconditioning because no, there's no choice. 83 00:08:25,701.997 --> 00:08:30,71.997 We, we can't operate how we've been operating anymore because it's just not working. 84 00:08:30,551.997 --> 00:08:37,121.997 So 19 is probably when that started, but it was also just like simmering resentment, simmering bitterness. 85 00:08:37,181.997 --> 00:08:58,676.997 And this is probably normal human progression And normal deconditioning, but it's taken me,, 30 plus years to Stop convincing myself that I'm crazy for every thought or impulse that I have right? I'm only just now beginning to trust myself and trust that know, if I'm drawn to something, it's okay. 86 00:08:58,716.997 --> 00:09:00,36.997 If I need rest, it's okay. 87 00:09:00,36.997 --> 00:09:17,396.997 Like I am my own best authority and that took a long time to get to, you are super skilled and familiar with human design, but you're using the term deconditioning and I wonder if you could share what that means to you. 88 00:09:17,456.997 --> 00:09:35,496.997 So in hindsight, from where I stand now, I think it really was probably a start of being open to viewing myself differently, or viewing myself as not necessarily fitting into society and having that be okay, rather than having that be something that needed to be changed. 89 00:09:36,226.997 --> 00:09:39,776.997 I think in that moment in my life. 90 00:09:40,361.997 --> 00:10:23,501.996 It was deconditioning from religion, or deconverting that's a whole journey in and of itself, right? Like, that carries so much within it, to be willing to step away from it, knowing that you might be wrong, but having that little tiny voice inside of you that says, It was like a, a round peg in a square hole kind of a thing, you can try to hammer that peg to fit as much as you want, just, you're just hurting the peg, right? And so I think it was just that that wasn't my path. 91 00:10:23,601.997 --> 00:10:30,551.997 I have a lot of respect for certain people that do religion in certain ways. 92 00:10:32,121.998 --> 00:10:41,135.898 But I think when Okay. 93 00:10:41,711.998 --> 00:10:43,401.997 that was no longer fitting for me. 94 00:10:44,561.998 --> 00:11:00,221.998 And so, at that time when I was literally de conditioning from religion, was the first time, I think, in my brain where it was like, oh, yeah, I don't actually always need someone else to tell me what to do. 95 00:11:00,481.998 --> 00:11:09,501.998 That doesn't mean I didn't look for that in my life for the next ten years, but I was open to that not needing to be the case, I guess. 96 00:11:11,105.998 --> 00:11:27,710.9985 What did it feel like in your body to let go of something that was so fundamental in how you were raised? Oh my god, it was, painful's not the right word, but I think it was shameful. 97 00:11:28,470.9985 --> 00:11:41,250.9985 I think when you have a schism like that, you're pulling away from something that you've been steeped in and raised in there's shame for not being able to fit that bill and never making it work. 98 00:11:41,540.9985 --> 00:11:43,645.8985 There's shame for pulling away. 99 00:11:43,975.9985 --> 00:11:46,635.9985 There's shame for believing in something different. 100 00:11:46,995.9985 --> 00:11:50,795.9985 There's shame for all the people that are gonna be so disappointed in you. 101 00:11:51,205.9985 --> 00:12:06,735.9985 There's shame because, oh, you've been so blessed, how could you turn your back on yadda yadda? So, it wasn't painful in my body, but the amount of shame that I felt painful. 102 00:12:07,555.9985 --> 00:12:08,55.9985 Yeah. 103 00:12:08,255.9975 --> 00:12:09,965.9975 there's so many layers. 104 00:12:10,635.9975 --> 00:12:39,521.9975 To having to leave something and then find your own way in this really formative time, because you're talking 1920, 21, when this anger is building, what was happening in your life concurrently? Were you doing this while doing school? Were you in a different place than where the conditioning happened? What was happening for you? So while this was happening, I mean, this was happening right after my parents got a divorce. 105 00:12:40,1.9975 --> 00:12:53,441.9975 So my parents got a divorce and I knew I had to throw myself into something because divorce, you know, at that age and for who I was at that time, it was massively destabilizing. 106 00:12:54,131.9975 --> 00:12:59,221.9975 I think I had spent so long trying to make everything okay in that family. 107 00:12:59,221.9975 --> 00:13:04,121.9975 So then it also feels like you're a failure in that, right? Because it's like, well, it didn't work. 108 00:13:07,21.9965 --> 00:13:15,701.9975 so it was so destabilizing to me at that time as this young person who doesn't even know like what the world is or who they are in it. 109 00:13:15,702.0975 --> 00:13:30,216.9975 I, I, I knew I had to throw myself into something, and I, I knew that it needed to be really intense, and I was thinking about going to nursing school at that time, and really didn't want to. 110 00:13:30,496.9965 --> 00:13:37,16.9975 It didn't feel right, but I knew it was going to be intense, and I knew that it was going to be all consuming. 111 00:13:37,446.9975 --> 00:13:41,696.9975 And in my brain, I was like, okay, well, I can either do this all consuming thing. 112 00:13:41,696.9975 --> 00:13:46,616.9975 That's going to be probably positive and lead me to an okay spot. 113 00:13:46,626.9965 --> 00:13:51,576.9975 Or I might like go off the deep end in some scary way that I don't want to go right now. 114 00:13:52,406.9975 --> 00:13:54,356.9975 I chose to stick it out with nursing. 115 00:13:55,691.9975 --> 00:14:00,461.9975 Go to nursing school and proceeded to inside from that. 116 00:14:00,551.9975 --> 00:14:12,961.9965 And I lived in two other cities then eventually came home to finish nursing school when I was 20, I think 22, 21 and 22. 117 00:14:12,961.9975 --> 00:14:14,201.9975 I moved back to my hometown. 118 00:14:14,201.9975 --> 00:14:15,771.9975 So 19, 20. 119 00:14:16,621.9975 --> 00:14:18,81.9975 a little bit of 21 I was away. 120 00:14:22,600.9975 --> 00:14:30,490.9975 How did that coming home feel? My guess is it wasn't peaceful because you marked 15 to 25. 121 00:14:30,510.9975 --> 00:14:33,930.9975 So we're still in a tumultuous time in relationship to rest. 122 00:14:34,321.9975 --> 00:14:34,771.9975 Yeah. 123 00:14:35,230.9975 --> 00:14:36,30.9975 It's funny. 124 00:14:36,270.9975 --> 00:14:38,940.9975 You know how we all have these, I don't know if we all do this. 125 00:14:39,30.9975 --> 00:14:45,20.9975 I'm an, I'm an emo authority, right? So I do a lot of riding the wave and feeling the feelings. 126 00:14:45,30.9975 --> 00:14:48,460.9975 And I do a lot of reflecting as well. 127 00:14:48,460.9975 --> 00:14:51,750.9975 So I'm, I'm a two four like you mentioned earlier. 128 00:14:51,770.9975 --> 00:14:55,830.9965 And so I need that like to hermit reflection processing time. 129 00:14:56,560.9965 --> 00:15:00,250.9965 And so thought about this a lot. 130 00:15:00,270.9965 --> 00:15:08,300.9955 I thought about like, man, if I had made different choices at X, Y, Z points in my life, what would my life be like? This sticks out to me as one of them. 131 00:15:08,730.9965 --> 00:15:18,0.9965 So I was living in Missoula at the time and I was in my second year of nursing school, I was going to classes on the U of M campus. 132 00:15:18,76.0965 --> 00:15:20,545.9965 MSU and U of M had like a deal. 133 00:15:20,825.9965 --> 00:15:23,105.9965 So I was taking classes in this beautiful brick building. 134 00:15:23,405.9965 --> 00:15:24,765.9965 I loved Missoula. 135 00:15:25,75.9965 --> 00:15:27,495.9965 I was assistant managing an ice cream shop. 136 00:15:28,265.9965 --> 00:15:29,25.9965 It was awesome. 137 00:15:29,175.9965 --> 00:15:31,955.996 I had all, I had all these things for this summer planned. 138 00:15:31,955.996 --> 00:15:33,435.9965 I was like, I'm gonna have a Missoula summer. 139 00:15:33,855.9965 --> 00:15:35,585.9955 I was gonna go take these herbalism courses. 140 00:15:35,755.9955 --> 00:15:37,55.8965 Yada, yada. 141 00:15:37,435.9965 --> 00:15:38,955.9965 It felt so right. 142 00:15:39,210.9965 --> 00:15:47,190.9965 And then I got this offer to make all the ice cream for the ice cream shop that I was working at, and it was a really good offer. 143 00:15:48,90.9965 --> 00:15:51,470.9965 My boss was like, how much does a starting nurse make? I'll pay you as much. 144 00:15:51,510.9965 --> 00:15:55,150.9965 And I was like, I, oh, I could graduate college without debt. 145 00:15:55,160.9955 --> 00:15:56,410.9965 Like, that would be lovely. 146 00:15:57,360.9965 --> 00:16:00,710.9965 I didn't actually end up graduating college without debt, but that's another story. 147 00:16:00,810.9965 --> 00:16:02,270.9965 And it pulled me in. 148 00:16:02,370.9965 --> 00:16:10,250.9965 But in my emotional authority, now that I know what that feels like, or I'm getting closer to knowing what that feels like in my body, it was never a yes. 149 00:16:11,0.9965 --> 00:16:25,80.9965 It was like, it was a pressure, it was a mind decision, you know, it was like, Oh, this is so rational, how could I turn this down? That my mind took over and made the decision and, you know, I was never a full bodied yes to it. 150 00:16:25,490.9965 --> 00:16:26,250.9965 So I came home. 151 00:16:26,970.9965 --> 00:16:32,190.9965 worked that full time job and finished nursing school, and I was probably the unhappiest I've ever been. 152 00:16:33,640.9965 --> 00:16:46,800.9965 And I, I don't know if my life would be vastly different and probably wouldn't, but maybe I would have had like some really magical experiences in Missoula that I missed out on. 153 00:16:46,800.9965 --> 00:16:47,470.9965 I'm not sure. 154 00:16:49,270.9965 --> 00:16:50,230.9965 so I would say it. 155 00:16:50,910.9965 --> 00:16:52,790.9965 not a good decision to come home. 156 00:16:56,44.9965 --> 00:16:58,14.9965 So you're in your early twenties. 157 00:16:58,14.9965 --> 00:16:58,944.9955 You come home. 158 00:16:59,419.9965 --> 00:17:01,910.9965 You finished a nursing degree Yep. 159 00:17:02,149.9965 --> 00:17:05,419.9965 you're still in a not so restful period of your life. 160 00:17:05,419.9965 --> 00:17:12,850.9965 Did you enter the medical system at that point No, as a employee? bitter and extremely burnt out. 161 00:17:12,920.9965 --> 00:17:17,60.9965 So I said, I am never gonna be a nurse. 162 00:17:17,830.9965 --> 00:17:22,520.9965 I packed up all my shit and I went on a road trip. 163 00:17:24,230.9965 --> 00:17:25,870.9965 it was great and I had a great time. 164 00:17:25,930.9965 --> 00:17:29,430.9965 And I had amazing experiences running around. 165 00:17:29,470.9965 --> 00:17:34,890.9965 And then It just felt like too good to be true. 166 00:17:35,520.9965 --> 00:17:37,460.9965 Kind of like things were too flowy. 167 00:17:38,0.9965 --> 00:17:42,270.9965 It was too, I wasn't like, I wasn't broke. 168 00:17:42,300.9965 --> 00:17:42,610.9965 Right. 169 00:17:42,640.9965 --> 00:17:43,370.9965 I wasn't in danger. 170 00:17:43,371.0965 --> 00:17:52,830.9965 I was having really meaningful experiences and like magical experiences really on a spiritual level. 171 00:17:52,860.9975 --> 00:17:54,980.9975 And it was just like too good to be true. 172 00:17:54,980.9975 --> 00:18:04,200.9975 And so I was like, well, I have to get a job before this, before this gets like, you know, too good. 173 00:18:04,890.9975 --> 00:18:27,869.8975 And so while I was looking for a job, I was in Alaska, I was working on some farms in Alaska and, my truck broke down and I just, At that point had not a lot of money to fix it and that was another last straw where I was like, well I got to get a job as a nurse for joining us today. 174 00:18:28,100.9975 --> 00:18:29,780.9975 Which you know, that's that's fine. 175 00:18:29,830.9965 --> 00:18:36,80.9965 That was good to have that I guess and so I Got a job in Santa Fe, New Mexico. 176 00:18:36,81.0965 --> 00:18:47,550.9975 And so I started working in the medical system probably eight to nine years No, actually it was almost a whole year after I graduated nursing school. 177 00:18:47,600.9975 --> 00:18:48,970.9975 I started my first job. 178 00:18:51,619.9975 --> 00:19:13,130.9975 Your story keeps having this refrain of, you know, something is right and you act on it and then you almost change your mind, like, get, I don't know if it's fear or if there's a pole and you run back to conditioning, am I crazy? I must be crazy. 179 00:19:13,270.9965 --> 00:19:15,80.9965 There's no way like this can be true. 180 00:19:15,80.9975 --> 00:19:17,300.9975 There's no way I can actually know what's going on. 181 00:19:18,80.9975 --> 00:19:24,60.9975 constant, just like not trusting in my own wisdom. 182 00:19:24,210.9975 --> 00:19:30,280.9975 I feel like we get so good at that as people that are maybe on the outskirts of. 183 00:19:31,160.9975 --> 00:19:36,780.9975 the norm is, or as people that maybe classic society doesn't work for. 184 00:19:37,790.9975 --> 00:19:40,650.9975 We get really, really good at wondering if we're the problem. 185 00:19:43,59.9975 --> 00:19:48,310.9975 do you think it's capitalism, do you think it's, it's capitalism. 186 00:19:49,370.9965 --> 00:19:50,460.9965 I think it's capitalism. 187 00:19:50,460.9965 --> 00:20:10,45.9975 I think it's society as a whole, the way we run around phonetically, just I think, like, we're mind driven, right? As a society. 188 00:20:10,475.9975 --> 00:20:11,375.9975 We're mind driven. 189 00:20:11,495.9975 --> 00:20:12,795.9965 It's, it's thoughts. 190 00:20:12,885.9975 --> 00:20:14,605.9985 We're all shitting on ourselves all the time. 191 00:20:14,615.9985 --> 00:20:24,190.9995 And I just think that it's a lot of harm to a lot more people than just projectors, right? And I can realize I am an idealist. 192 00:20:24,210.9995 --> 00:20:27,410.9995 I don't know that I have a solution, right? Like, I don't know. 193 00:20:27,410.9995 --> 00:20:51,750.9985 Do you, do you think it's capitalism? Do you see what I'm talking about? I did hear a lot of capitalism and conditioning in your story because it sounds like your body does know you just gave the caveat of I don't have a solution, but then so many times and we're only to what are you 24 at this point in the story? Yeah. 194 00:20:52,550.9985 --> 00:20:53,30.9975 I am. 195 00:20:53,224.9985 --> 00:21:14,724.9975 So I've, I've heard a number of times where you have known and you have made changes, some of which so far in the story seem like they've stuck leaving religion and some of them kind of yanked you back, but it seems like there was a lot of that am I crazy? And when I'm sitting here listening. 196 00:21:15,59.9985 --> 00:21:16,729.9985 I don't hear a crazy person. 197 00:21:16,739.9985 --> 00:21:30,160.9975 I hear someone who has a really deep sense of self, but that sense of self doesn't fit the artificially constructed world that you were given, which was work really hard Right. 198 00:21:30,209.9985 --> 00:21:33,879.9985 capitalism, in religion, follow the rules. 199 00:21:34,610.9985 --> 00:21:35,130.9985 Yeah. 200 00:21:35,130.9985 --> 00:21:51,245.9985 And I think that's the narrative we're all kind of given, especially in this country, right? And I think the systems that we currently live in are really good at making us scared of stepping outside of them, You quit your job? Well then you don't have health insurance. 201 00:21:51,565.9985 --> 00:21:54,375.9985 You Want to pursue something artistic. 202 00:21:54,375.9985 --> 00:22:06,635.9985 Well, you might not make enough money to pay your rent that has been raised exponentially, right? Like our systems are not built to allow us to follow what we. 203 00:22:07,45.9985 --> 00:22:23,545.9985 Intuitively know, and they're built to keep us scared so that we it's, I mean, it's really hard to tap into your intuition when you're scared, when you're stressed or scared, like those inner knowings, can't, for me at least, be heard. 204 00:22:24,515.9985 --> 00:22:36,215.9985 And so I think it's just, it's such a, such a smart plan to keep people in this like survival mode so that we don't hope for more. 205 00:22:36,415.9975 --> 00:22:37,155.9975 It's almost. 206 00:22:37,545.9975 --> 00:22:44,955.9975 Sounding like halfway through your emotional wave, there's a panic and then you go back to whatever feels easy. 207 00:22:44,965.9975 --> 00:22:51,485.9975 So you're 24, you've gone to Santa Fe, you've had this boomerang effect of like you were free and it felt amazing. 208 00:22:51,525.9965 --> 00:22:52,665.9975 Oh my God, I'm scared. 209 00:22:52,901.9975 --> 00:22:53,271.9975 Right. 210 00:22:53,505.9975 --> 00:22:57,665.9965 have to go back to what I know will give me a sense of security. 211 00:22:57,865.9975 --> 00:23:01,421.9975 What happens, what happens next? Oh, man. 212 00:23:01,521.9975 --> 00:23:04,551.9975 Well, you know, Santa Fe was not bad. 213 00:23:05,191.9975 --> 00:23:05,951.9975 was nice. 214 00:23:06,11.9975 --> 00:23:08,801.9975 I hated nursing the whole time, but I did it. 215 00:23:08,811.9975 --> 00:23:11,47.9975 What did you hate? right, okay. 216 00:23:11,687.9975 --> 00:23:12,967.9975 Yes, caveats here. 217 00:23:13,77.9965 --> 00:23:19,337.9975 I hate the medical system, I hate hospitals, and I loathe insurance. 218 00:23:20,432.9975 --> 00:23:22,971.9975 But I love Preach. 219 00:23:23,402.9975 --> 00:23:24,562.9975 with patients. 220 00:23:24,692.9975 --> 00:23:29,442.9965 I love connecting with people, right? Like I'm a, I'm a deep one on one connector. 221 00:23:29,462.9975 --> 00:23:33,12.9985 I mean, that's, that's just so life giving to me. 222 00:23:34,22.9985 --> 00:23:44,702.9975 I worked in labor and delivery and recovery and postpartum and, I would get to have, the same patient for three days in a row in the hospital, and that was just amazing. 223 00:23:44,722.9975 --> 00:23:51,762.9975 And to be able to support them, to encourage them, to be there for them and their families, I loved that part. 224 00:23:51,962.9975 --> 00:23:53,692.9975 I also loved the women I worked with. 225 00:23:53,692.9975 --> 00:24:01,82.9975 It was a magical floor and such a great place to be is referred to in the nursing world as a baby nurse. 226 00:24:01,952.9975 --> 00:24:07,722.9975 And just learned so much and felt so protected by them. 227 00:24:07,832.9965 --> 00:24:16,969.7345 Okay. 228 00:24:17,128.8965 --> 00:24:19,503.8965 Fe, it was, It's sunny all the time. 229 00:24:19,873.8965 --> 00:24:34,243.8965 I got to, like, explore rock climbing in a more serious fashion because it was just always kind of climbing weather except for, like, deep winter, or I guess deep summer, but, you know, it was an extended season. 230 00:24:34,283.8955 --> 00:24:36,643.8965 And I got to make new friends. 231 00:24:36,833.8965 --> 00:24:51,943.8965 I got to have this massive cultural immersion, which was so Much what I needed at that time, coming from like a whitewashed ski town to Santa Fe, New Mexico, where there's new Mexican culture. 232 00:24:51,943.8965 --> 00:24:53,123.8965 There's Mexican culture. 233 00:24:53,123.8965 --> 00:24:58,153.8955 There's Spanish being spoken in many places. 234 00:24:59,33.8965 --> 00:25:02,793.8975 There's also a lot of people from like, there's French people, it was. 235 00:25:04,863.8975 --> 00:25:08,433.8975 And I met a very, significant partner in my life. 236 00:25:08,463.8975 --> 00:25:15,763.8975 I felt like I had space in my life to not operate how I had always operated. 237 00:25:15,763.8975 --> 00:25:25,733.8975 And so that actually led me to falling in love with a woman, which felt great to just have the space to follow the flow, right? And follow like what felt good and what I knew was correct for me. 238 00:25:27,853.8975 --> 00:25:29,353.8975 And it was lovely. 239 00:25:29,813.8975 --> 00:25:34,643.8975 And then I got really homesick and, and came home for the right reasons at that time. 240 00:25:35,348.8975 --> 00:25:35,368.8975 Heh. 241 00:25:37,607.96 --> 00:25:42,277.96 So that was a different type of decision that didn't feel like the tether pulling you back. 242 00:25:42,398.8975 --> 00:25:43,318.8975 Right, yeah. 243 00:25:43,518.8975 --> 00:25:47,173.8975 one of them was based in my mind and one of them was based in my heart. 244 00:25:47,603.8975 --> 00:26:01,153.8975 And that's also, don't know as much about astrology as I know about human design, but I think that is the correct operating mechanism for a Leo to make decisions from the heart is what I've heard. 245 00:26:02,33.8965 --> 00:26:04,263.8965 that is what feels correct anyways. 246 00:26:06,897.96 --> 00:26:10,617.96 Nursing feels like it means something in your story. 247 00:26:12,43.8975 --> 00:26:17,693.8975 I think, you know, not sure that it's nursing in and of itself that is important in the story. 248 00:26:17,723.8975 --> 00:26:25,923.8965 I think it's that nursing represents this piece of me that was unwilling to accept that maybe I knew something wasn't right for me. 249 00:26:26,243.8965 --> 00:26:28,473.8955 it's this, this big thing. 250 00:26:28,473.8955 --> 00:26:33,833.8955 I can remember my mom saying like, just get your nursing degree and then you can do whatever you want, but you'll always have a job. 251 00:26:33,833.8955 --> 00:26:34,113.8955 Right. 252 00:26:34,113.8955 --> 00:26:40,963.8945 And both of my grandmas nurses and they'd be like, well, we always wanted to be able to support ourselves. 253 00:26:40,963.8955 --> 00:26:46,208.7955 And felt like this big, powerful thing that someone could do. 254 00:26:46,508.8955 --> 00:26:50,478.8955 To, like, a job of their own that could, create an income. 255 00:26:51,888.8955 --> 00:27:12,738.8955 And, and while having a job of your own to create an income is awesome and is definitely powerful and feels aligned with me, it, never was nursing, and so I think nursing is just like the, the shape that this work I've been doing takes, right? That's the focus point, but it's not actually about nursing. 256 00:27:14,852.958 --> 00:27:18,908.8955 So was leaving nursing like leaving religion? Yes. 257 00:27:20,508.8955 --> 00:27:21,708.8955 I was so scared. 258 00:27:22,73.8955 --> 00:27:50,658.8955 I put it off for years, I was so scared I was so burnt out, I was so trying to make myself fit into a box, right? If you're constantly talking about medications that you don't actually believe in, or, you know, insurance companies that you think are, you know, Ripping people off, but you're kind of a, you're just a cog in a broken system, right? Like, feels like trying to force yourself into a shape that body isn't wanting to take. 259 00:27:50,748.8955 --> 00:28:02,98.8955 And I think it, yeah, is like the second great I don't know what I'd call it, Exodus of my life, from religion as I use a religious term. 260 00:28:02,488.8955 --> 00:28:05,828.8955 It felt really intense. 261 00:28:05,938.8955 --> 00:28:14,558.8955 But I think that it was, even more empowering than leaving religion because it was so tied to money and security. 262 00:28:16,138.8955 --> 00:28:25,898.8945 And so to leave that and still be okay, and to do it at an age where I could, I could leave with a plan, it wasn't reactive, it was, okay. 263 00:28:26,808.8955 --> 00:28:33,468.8955 This is how much money I'm gonna set aside to get myself through this hard time, and by this time I have to get another job. 264 00:28:33,638.8955 --> 00:28:47,483.8955 I don't know what it's gonna be, but I will find it because I'm a competent human, by that time having like some self confidence built that was Oh, I'm a, I'm a good, I'm a smart person. 265 00:28:47,483.8955 --> 00:28:49,283.8955 I'm a competent worker. 266 00:28:49,283.8955 --> 00:28:52,553.8955 I can learn whatever I want to learn. 267 00:28:54,393.8955 --> 00:29:06,568.8955 It was really empowering to leave and to do it in a like that and To still not feel like it has such a hold on my life, even if I am dipping my toes back into the water. 268 00:29:09,77.958 --> 00:29:16,987.957 This whole concept of religion and nursing, it's like all capitalism, right? It's all the structure holding you. 269 00:29:17,358.8955 --> 00:29:23,748.8955 yeah, that are placed over our lives that we are told that these systems are going to have our answers. 270 00:29:24,648.8955 --> 00:29:35,858.8955 that these systems actually have our answers built in so that we don't have to think about it, we just have to fall in line and follow the system, it's, it's not, it's not, It's not real. 271 00:29:37,637.957 --> 00:29:44,967.957 Well, what is it like in your body leaving? Because I'm thinking about resting and I'm thinking about the time. 272 00:29:45,252.958 --> 00:29:57,78.8955 That you go from in a system that's poisoned to just, are you just empty then? Is it just a vacancy? So in my body, I think that was like one of the most joyful times in my life. 273 00:29:57,128.8955 --> 00:30:00,458.8955 I was scared shitless I was so scared. 274 00:30:00,458.8955 --> 00:30:03,148.895 I wasn't going to make any money and then I was just going to be broke. 275 00:30:03,148.895 --> 00:30:06,548.894 Because that's the story that I had heard my whole life. 276 00:30:06,898.894 --> 00:30:10,418.895 But somewhere deep in my body, I was like, Oh, I don't think that's true. 277 00:30:12,18.895 --> 00:30:16,723.895 But I left nursing and I was like, dancing around my kitchen at 10 a. 278 00:30:16,723.895 --> 00:30:16,913.895 m. 279 00:30:16,913.895 --> 00:30:20,803.895 on a, on a Wednesday, I was like, Oh my God, I feel so good. 280 00:30:20,923.895 --> 00:30:25,43.895 You know, I feel connected to something. 281 00:30:25,423.895 --> 00:30:29,503.895 I would be singing like, I don't sing, but I would just sing all the time. 282 00:30:30,193.895 --> 00:30:34,523.895 would just lay on the floor for multiple minutes. 283 00:30:36,653.895 --> 00:30:37,583.895 Yeah, it was great. 284 00:30:37,583.895 --> 00:30:47,543.894 I started taking ceramics, which is something that I had always wanted to do, it was just, my body was really, really happy. 285 00:30:47,753.895 --> 00:30:55,213.895 My brain was freaking out, body Was giving me all the signs that it was a good decision. 286 00:30:57,182.9575 --> 00:31:19,903.894 How did you manage those two feeling so different at the same time? Well, I think after long enough of letting your brain lead and nothing changing and nothing getting better or feeling more aligned in my, my processing, I was like, okay, what's the one thing I haven't tried? letting my body lead. 287 00:31:19,903.894 --> 00:31:22,473.895 So like, maybe let's try that and see how it goes. 288 00:31:23,733.895 --> 00:31:33,133.895 And it was so scary, but it felt good to be doing something different, you know? Even if I ended up in the same place, I was like, eh, it's nice to mix it up. 289 00:31:37,42.9575 --> 00:32:07,923.894 How was rest changing for you? I think my concept of rest changed a lot from that it needed to be sleep, and it needed to be time, and it needed to be, like extremely low key, to realizing that rest could look like. 290 00:32:08,903.895 --> 00:32:15,923.895 A deep conversation with someone I really love, or like I said before, like playing with my dog. 291 00:32:16,183.895 --> 00:32:17,643.895 Like rest could be play. 292 00:32:17,683.895 --> 00:32:19,223.895 Rest could be connection. 293 00:32:19,233.895 --> 00:32:22,733.894 Rest could be puttering about. 294 00:32:23,223.895 --> 00:32:29,613.894 Like, I could be busy, but if I'm busy without a to do list, it feels much more restful. 295 00:32:31,253.894 --> 00:32:48,368.895 It's not always possible, right? Like, there's a lot to get done, and so I find myself now, having two or three days a week that have a to do list and then the other day is trying to like just let the flow be there. 296 00:32:48,848.895 --> 00:32:52,798.895 But that also, you know, kind of comes into my variables. 297 00:32:52,978.895 --> 00:32:53,868.895 They like structure. 298 00:32:54,778.895 --> 00:32:59,678.895 So sometimes I actually do wonder if I need more, not to do lists, but more structure. 299 00:33:00,18.894 --> 00:33:07,508.894 So just carving out the time to do, but letting that be flowy, if that makes sense. 300 00:33:09,777.9565 --> 00:33:19,112.9565 So you wrapped back around to human design and I'm curious given Given how much trauma has been imposed on you by various systems. 301 00:33:19,832.9565 --> 00:33:22,602.9565 I'm curious why human design feels safe. 302 00:33:23,933.894 --> 00:33:24,503.894 Yeah. 303 00:33:25,703.894 --> 00:33:33,633.894 I think I see it as a double edged sword and something to be skeptical of. 304 00:33:34,433.894 --> 00:33:40,343.893 So I don't think that the Bible is inherently bad. 305 00:33:41,133.894 --> 00:33:44,853.894 I think what people do with the Bible can be really bad. 306 00:33:46,23.894 --> 00:34:09,398.893 I don't think that the idea of making money is inherently bad, right? I think what people do with their money, or how people tell people what to do with their money, or, like, tell people that you have to have money, that's bad. 307 00:34:10,158.894 --> 00:34:12,468.894 So, I think it's the same with human design. 308 00:34:12,698.894 --> 00:34:16,408.894 I don't think anything is, inherently bad. 309 00:34:16,408.894 --> 00:34:17,408.894 It's what we do with it. 310 00:34:18,118.894 --> 00:34:25,968.894 I do see a lot of that are talking about human design or, you know, human design Instagrams don't feel good. 311 00:34:26,448.894 --> 00:34:30,208.894 They feel prescriptive or predictive. 312 00:34:30,658.894 --> 00:34:33,628.894 And I don't think that that is helpful to us at all. 313 00:34:35,268.894 --> 00:34:41,898.894 Why I love human design is because it has helped me feel so much freedom to be who I am. 314 00:34:43,438.894 --> 00:34:52,38.894 So what I love about human design is that it can look at a projector and say, Hey, It's okay if your energy is more variable. 315 00:34:52,58.894 --> 00:34:54,88.894 It's okay if you need more rest. 316 00:34:55,308.894 --> 00:35:02,928.894 I do not think it's a correct use of human design to say to a projector, You can't do things. 317 00:35:03,18.894 --> 00:35:04,558.894 You have to sit out. 318 00:35:04,568.893 --> 00:35:08,648.794 You have to, not do things. 319 00:35:11,98.894 --> 00:35:19,528.894 So I think human design feels more safe, number one, because I found it in a way that was not predictive or prescriptive. 320 00:35:19,638.894 --> 00:35:23,348.894 It was more freedom focused, I guess. 321 00:35:23,968.894 --> 00:35:46,759.7315 And then maybe I just have that I prescriptive or tell me what to do anymore, I've hit my max. 322 00:35:47,159.7305 --> 00:35:54,60.669 That's not gonna happen again, hear a lot of self trust, Yes! Not questioning if I'm crazy every choice anymore. 323 00:35:56,319.7325 --> 00:36:01,989.7315 you've talked a lot about your emotional authority and getting more and more in touch with that. 324 00:36:02,319.7315 --> 00:36:24,310.669 Is that where your attention and your growth is right now? Or are there other things that you're curious about in your design right now? I think there's so many things in our design, you can get so deep. 325 00:36:24,800.669 --> 00:36:26,640.669 There's so much knowledge to be had. 326 00:36:26,860.669 --> 00:36:37,499.7315 And also a reason why Ra always would say, and every like really respected human design expert says Okay. 327 00:36:37,520.669 --> 00:36:39,340.669 all about your strategy and authority. 328 00:36:40,280.669 --> 00:36:55,70.668 So even while I am so intrigued all these other pieces of my design and everyone's design, and I think it's very useful, very helpful, very freeing to know I have a passive brain, right? Freeing to know I have an active body, things like that. 329 00:36:56,720.668 --> 00:37:14,535.669 I think my focus is still and, and will always be trying to have that authority and strategy be front and center for me because it's, I'm still not there, right? Like I'm not following my strategy and authority all the time. 330 00:37:15,205.669 --> 00:37:26,805.669 I still ask myself if I'm crazy, like I always will, but, but learning to trust that deeper knowing of the emotional authority is, it's a real trip. 331 00:37:26,835.669 --> 00:37:31,395.668 And think it's, yeah, going to be my focus for a long time. 332 00:37:31,395.768 --> 00:37:34,330.569 Right. 333 00:37:34,489.7315 --> 00:37:50,129.731 put it that way, because I think it's such a useful system, but also like, we don't actually need to know that much about it because our strategy and our authority gets us from what I have observed, gets us like, this is an arbitrary number. 334 00:37:50,129.731 --> 00:37:57,879.7315 So don't come at me, human design people, but like 80 percent of the way, like it feels like 80 percent of the way there. 335 00:37:58,209.7315 --> 00:38:00,489.7315 And then there's any number of systems. 336 00:38:01,79.7315 --> 00:38:08,109.7315 Including human design that can support that 20%, but most of us are going to take a long time to get 80%. 337 00:38:09,20.669 --> 00:38:09,800.669 Oh my gosh. 338 00:38:09,880.669 --> 00:38:10,370.669 Yeah. 339 00:38:11,530.669 --> 00:38:31,420.669 one of the benefits of the other pieces of human design, for me, has been that it gives my mind something to hook into, where I can see that it's so accurate, my mind is satiated in a way, so that I begin to trust my strategy and authority more. 340 00:38:32,380.669 --> 00:38:38,765.669 It feels less like a Yeah, tightrope walk, right? And I'm more like, Oh, there's a whole system out here. 341 00:38:38,765.669 --> 00:38:44,235.669 It's not like I'm just walking on a tightrope, right? But you're like, Oh, there's a whole, a whole thing. 342 00:38:46,39.7315 --> 00:38:50,675.669 it gives you that projector study satiation Yes. 343 00:38:50,729.7315 --> 00:39:35,9.6305 also in practice It can stay really simple I think a lot of people get really fixated on a lot of nuance before they're anywhere near Utilizing their strategy and authority and that's just staying up in the mind You Okay. 344 00:39:35,645.668 --> 00:39:43,685.669 I think what he was saying was, he wished that people would learn about their human design, or all they would have access to at first. 345 00:39:44,490.669 --> 00:39:56,219.7305 their strategy and authority, so they could work with that and see that in action and just like really realize that like, that is what we need most, most is your Okay. 346 00:39:56,340.6685 --> 00:39:56,960.669 and authority. 347 00:39:57,790.668 --> 00:40:11,805.669 And it was great for me to read that because it was a good reminder for me who likes to let my brain lead so often or who's like unlearning letting my brain read to be like, Oh, I'm Yeah. 348 00:40:13,525.669 --> 00:40:16,225.669 I don't actually have to understand all this for it to work. 349 00:40:16,275.669 --> 00:40:21,185.669 I can just do my strategy and authority and I'll probably get to some pretty cool places. 350 00:40:22,699.7315 --> 00:40:31,204.7315 You can just listen to your body, I can just listen to my body, right? which feels like it's been such a theme. 351 00:40:31,354.7315 --> 00:40:32,802.7315 it's such a theme in your life. 352 00:40:34,525.669 --> 00:40:35,635.669 such a theme in my life. 353 00:40:35,665.668 --> 00:40:51,800.669 And also just like, as women, that is a superpower for, for all of us in differing degrees, oh my god, have we been told that that is not safe? have been told that it's not okay to listen to your body. 354 00:40:52,40.669 --> 00:40:53,600.669 You don't know your body. 355 00:40:53,790.669 --> 00:40:55,370.669 You can't trust your body. 356 00:40:56,290.669 --> 00:41:08,660.669 Oh, that schism is so large and it takes a lot to breach it, yeah, I mean, human design just gives us language to intellectualize our body. 357 00:41:09,260.669 --> 00:41:18,440.669 It gives us language to say, this is what my body feels like when I receive an invitation with recognition, right? Like it actually, nothing has changed. 358 00:41:18,440.669 --> 00:41:23,410.668 And I know for me, that learning happened. 359 00:41:23,880.669 --> 00:41:36,500.668 Or started to happen far before I found human design, human design just gave me access to language that supported me to stay accountable and on track in a different way. 360 00:41:36,570.669 --> 00:41:48,760.669 And though I will continue studying deeper and deeper into the system at the end of the day, I was getting there because I was doing all sorts of other modalities that brought me to my body. 361 00:41:49,411.6065 --> 00:42:09,796.6065 Right, I, I think it's interesting you bring that up because I also somatic therapist at the time when human design was brought into my life and There was so much crossover between what I was working on in this somatic therapy session and what I was learning in human design. 362 00:42:10,236.6065 --> 00:42:15,166.6055 And that was also really validating of like, oh yeah, all the same stuff. 363 00:42:15,196.6055 --> 00:42:16,766.6065 We just have different words for it. 364 00:42:18,70.669 --> 00:42:19,30.669 We're just humans. 365 00:42:19,210.669 --> 00:42:34,340.668 I mean, where I learned the majority of, of what I now talk about as human design is in my relationships with nonverbal animals and who I am and who I was when I was working with them exclusively for money. 366 00:42:34,890.668 --> 00:42:40,550.668 I had to be in a version of myself that didn't get to exist with verbal animals. 367 00:42:41,286.6045 --> 00:42:48,620.668 So can you say more? Can you give me an example of what that looked like? Yeah. 368 00:42:48,680.668 --> 00:42:49,320.668 So. 369 00:42:50,625.668 --> 00:43:08,45.668 Being able to be present with something that isn't using verbal cues requires us to tap into things that in a human conversation, we can get really caught up with content and, you know, in human design framework, I'd be like, okay, you're in the mind, let's get in the body passenger consciousness. 370 00:43:08,65.667 --> 00:43:12,25.668 I wasn't using that language when I was 2020. 371 00:43:13,415.668 --> 00:43:20,115.668 Two years old, but I was absolutely clearing my mind and for me. 372 00:43:20,425.668 --> 00:43:29,25.667 I feel that was the most splenic I could possibly be because it was this psychic connection, this very immediate. 373 00:43:29,935.668 --> 00:43:33,105.668 Feeling of working with a prey animal, which is what a horse is. 374 00:43:33,306.6055 --> 00:43:33,586.6055 Yeah. 375 00:43:33,805.668 --> 00:43:35,475.668 though I find it with dogs as well. 376 00:43:35,525.668 --> 00:43:44,965.668 And so I think that has nothing to do with using the language of strategy and authority, but I was familiar in my body with what it meant to be in that place. 377 00:43:45,465.668 --> 00:43:50,575.668 And so human design came along and was like, Oh, this is a really cool way to give it language. 378 00:43:50,605.668 --> 00:43:56,485.668 But I knew that I was pulling that along with me to working with humans and then working with myself. 379 00:43:56,665.668 --> 00:43:58,235.668 And so it feels very. 380 00:43:58,850.668 --> 00:44:05,180.668 Available You kind of like already knew the feeling of of not having words in the way. 381 00:44:05,220.668 --> 00:44:06,420.668 Yeah, right. 382 00:44:06,430.668 --> 00:44:16,780.667 But it's easier to not have words in the way when there's a horse in front of you who does not understand English Right? or has a limited, limited understanding, but no ability to speak back. 383 00:44:16,911.6045 --> 00:44:17,221.6045 Right. 384 00:44:18,820.667 --> 00:44:49,110.667 Then you're in your body and I do think that a lot of us and ourselves exists in the nonverbal and that was my that was my thesis as a human therapist and as an equine trainer like that's just been my thesis is the majority of our experience is nonverbal but we're so distracted by our words and so human design just gives this beautiful place of saying the words are cool and you can study a lot but also who cares strategy and authority. 385 00:44:49,591.6045 --> 00:44:51,711.6035 it's actually about the feeling in your body. 386 00:44:53,120.667 --> 00:44:58,440.667 But it gave me words to talk about something that was totally a nonverbal experience. 387 00:44:58,440.667 --> 00:45:00,910.667 And that's what was so useful for me. 388 00:45:01,341.6045 --> 00:45:01,821.6045 Right. 389 00:45:03,120.667 --> 00:45:12,730.667 So as we wrap up, I would like to know what impact or what change you're offering the world right now. 390 00:45:15,111.6045 --> 00:45:16,81.6045 Mm. 391 00:45:18,951.6045 --> 00:45:43,511.6055 Well, so I was on a walk today and I was thinking about, just thinking about all the things that one thinks about on a walk, and one of the thoughts that I, I had was, Again, kind of like what it feels like to exist in a society that's not built for you or a society that's well, just too fast for you. 392 00:45:44,471.6045 --> 00:45:55,1.5055 And, a voice popped in and kind of said, if you're not fitting, it's because you're not supposed to. 393 00:45:55,811.5055 --> 00:46:13,650.468 like, it's only by having Silence. 394 00:46:14,86.5055 --> 00:46:20,596.5055 We're doing good work by wanting something different we're doing brave work by dreaming a different dream. 395 00:46:20,816.5055 --> 00:46:51,485.668 And, I think my intention and my hope at this point in my life is to make moves from such a deep place in myself that I am pushing against the system with no effort from me, that it just happens Your existence is revolutionary. 396 00:46:51,866.6045 --> 00:46:58,245.668 Yeah, Well, thank you for talking about rest for the revolution. 397 00:46:58,255.668 --> 00:47:00,445.668 Cause that's kind of a perfect full circle. 398 00:47:00,525.667 --> 00:47:04,405.667 We came, yes it I know that. 399 00:47:05,50.668 --> 00:47:17,560.668 You don't have a solid structure for how to work with you at this point, but I bet a lot of people would love to chat with you now that they've heard this story. 400 00:47:17,610.668 --> 00:47:21,250.668 Is there a way that they can find you? You are on the Rev site. 401 00:47:21,300.667 --> 00:47:22,830.668 I do want to put that out there. 402 00:47:23,200.668 --> 00:47:24,630.668 Website, they can check me out there. 403 00:47:25,70.667 --> 00:47:29,530.667 And also if people are interested in connecting further Thank you. 404 00:47:30,425.667 --> 00:47:32,235.667 They can reach out via email. 405 00:47:32,465.667 --> 00:47:36,214.7295 Is my email on there? we'll put it in the show notes. 406 00:47:36,795.667 --> 00:47:37,725.667 Put it in there, yeah. 407 00:47:38,145.667 --> 00:47:39,915.667 Go ahead and reach out via email, awesome. 408 00:47:40,295.667 --> 00:47:41,825.667 Well, thank you for being here. 409 00:47:41,905.667 --> 00:47:43,245.667 The one and only Bridget. 410 00:47:44,745.667 --> 00:47:45,185.667 That's it. 411 00:47:45,466.6045 --> 00:47:56,772.97993 Thanks, Alex! Thanks for listening. 412 00:47:56,952.97993 --> 00:48:03,342.97993 If you enjoyed this episode, please remember to like and subscribe, and if you know someone who might find value in what you've heard, please share.