April 22, 2024 • 25 mins
Today’s guest is Brooke Waller, CEO of Brooke Bold Media. She talks with us about the fact that self-care is not selfish! Self-care is a requirement for you to show up as the best version of yourself.
Follow Brooke at Www.brookewaller.com or IG: Brooke_Motivates
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Shine Bright with Sabrina, and I am
your host, Sabrina Shine Williams
today. We have a
incredible.
Guest Her name is Brooke Waller and she
is the CEO of Brook Bowl Media.
And I'm so excited to talk to her today
(00:30):
because our episode is gonna be about the
importance of self-care and the
fact that self-care is not
selfish. So, Brooke,
introduce yourself to my
audience and let them know who you are.
Yes, yes. Thank you, Sabrina, so much for
having me on. I'm so excited to
(00:52):
speak to your guests. Yes, as you
mentioned, I am the CEO of Brookville
Media. I am a speaker in
self-care strategies. And
so I recognize that oftentimes
Black women don't take time for
themselves. They don't speak up, they
don't set boundaries. And so I'm
passionate about helping Black women
(01:14):
find their voice, implement self-
care, and realize self-care is not
selfish.
Correct, not selfish at all.
Is actually a requirement if we want to
show up as our best and brightest self.
So share with us, what does self-care
(01:35):
look like for you right now?
Yes, self-care looks like for me
is doing things that
fill my cup, that bring me
joy. Self-care
looks like for me, setting boundaries.
Putting myself first. I'm in a
(01:57):
new season of life and
just transitioning.
And I'm realizing, you know, I gotta get
back to Brooke. I have to
make time for self-care, put
it on my calendar, schedule
it. And just
really stick to excuse
(02:18):
me, skip, stick to myself,
care.
Nice, nice, nice. OK, so
you said boundaries.
Taking a deep breath because boundaries
is one of those things that I'm still
working on.
I've set up a few things to help me with
(02:39):
that. For example, I set up a do not
disturb on my phone so
if anybody tried to call me after 10:00
and before 8:00 AM in the morning, my
phone is not gonna rain. That's my one
way of kinda keeping from staying on the
phone all the time. What type of
boundaries have you set up
(03:01):
and would like to share with us?
Yes, some some boundaries that I've set
up is learning to say no.
It's OK to say no. I know that
it's a challenge, but you have to get
comfortable saying no.
Sometimes we want to. I see myself as a
(03:23):
recovering people pleaser that we want to
please everyone we want
to. Just
show up and be there for everyone. But we
cannot. We're only one person. And if we
don't pour in our cup and fill ourselves
up, how are we going to be our best?
Be our best selves?
(03:44):
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly exactly
that I'm saying no.
I had somebody tell me, Sabrina.
No, is a complete sentence.
It's like what she said. When you say no,
put a period behind it. You don't have to
(04:04):
explain anything to anybody. And when you
say no, mean it.
OK, because as a recovering
people pleaser, I say no, but
then I feel fat. It's like, oh, maybe I
should go and help them. And then I
change my mind and I don't feel right
about it. So learning to say
(04:25):
no and mean it has
been something that's.
That's free. It's still a struggle.
So I don't want anybody to think, Oh
yeah, we got this down pat. It's still a
struggle for me. I still have my days
when I will say yes to something that I
really wanted to say no to and I should
(04:46):
have said no to.
OK, So what is your
favorite Self Carey tune
routine?
I love it. I've just kind of started this
new routine. First
is having my facial routine in the
morning and the night. I'm doing my skin
(05:09):
care, making sure I'm taking care of my
skin, drinking my water,
I'm drinking my tea, taking my vitamins.
Incorporating physical activity such as
meditation,
yoga, there's different mindfulness
apps. That you can
download on your phone.
(05:32):
Healthy eating. Healthy eating is a part
of myself care routine of being
intentional. One of my words for this
year is intentional. Intentional about
being physically active because it
all starts with your mindset for
self-care. It all starts with your
mindset and what we're feeding, what
we're putting into our body, the physical
(05:53):
activity, all of that
makes a difference. And we are a
temple. We are. God gives our body as a
temple, and we have to take care of it.
Yes, yes. So you look
at seem like you got the whole gamut
you're looking at mentally, physically
(06:14):
and spiritually. Taking care of
yourself. What are your
thoughts? Do you?
Subscribe to the view that self-
care and self love kind of
work hand in hand and necessary.
Absolutely I do, because.
(06:37):
You have to love yourself first. When you
love yourself first, people learn how to
treat you, how to show up and have
respect for you. If you
don't respect your own self
and you're not getting enough of
sleep or you're letting people like run
all over you, take your kindness for
weakness. You know, how is that showing
(07:00):
your your own self self love? How are you
showing other people?To treat
you. I was talking to one of my mentors
the other day and she's reading this
book about setting boundaries.
And we were discussing you have
to show people how to
treat you and you have to show people in
(07:21):
the way your boundaries, what you're
going to respond to, what you're going to
allow. And having that self
love makes it makes a
completely, completely different.
How you show up in the world. How you
show up in the workplace.
How You're demanding respect, you
(07:41):
know.
That's true. That is so true, because
when we. Think about
self-care and self love.
You have to love yourself enough to give
yourself everything you need to keep
your cup full. And typically
(08:03):
as women, a lot of us tend to
pour out into everybody else. We just
serve and serve and serve and serving and
become depleted. And then after we're
depleted, we're just out there
by ourselves. And a lot of times we don't
have someone or group that will
pour back into us. So it's important.
(08:25):
To remember that self love. We can't give
our last drop to anybody
except for ourselves. We cannot
give and give and give and give and give
and not expect to have.
Anything given back to us. So sometimes
that means that we have to give it to
ourselves, whether that's reading a book.
(08:49):
Doing the facials, drinking the water,
getting to sleep, man, that sleep I
sleep is different.
It does for like 3 nights in a
row. I got the most was 5 1/2
hourssleep for
three nights in a row. And that third
(09:09):
day, I was like, wait a minute. My body
does not like this, so I went and took a
nap. I
would have slept for about two hours and
I got up and said, OK, that's a little
bit better. And then I went to bed
earlier that night. I said, Oh no, I
have to get my rest. And I
think sometimes some of us go
(09:32):
out and we're.
So busy doing so many other things, we
don't think about how important rest is.
It makes a huge it makes a huge
difference of getting enough of sleep.
It can impact how you age. It can impact
different health issues that you might
(09:54):
encounter also from not getting enough of
sleep. I learned from
a couple of friends about taking
magnesium like a powder.
And mixing it with like.
A cherry juice or cherry tart or even
water and it's just a
natural like kind of you take it before
(10:16):
bed and helps you go to sleep.
OK. OK, make some
magnesium with a cherry tart or
water and that helps with sleep.
Yeah. You got any other tips for
my listeners?
Why? Why you sharing? You got anything
(10:36):
else you want to share with us?
Yes, I would say learning to
delegate and having.
No screen time delegating.
In therapy, I love therapy. I feel
like often times, and I just realized
this from a video that I was looking at
(10:57):
that I often struggle with asking people
for help and I everything links
back to your childhood and I'm the only
child and I was raised to be
strong independent.
You know, we're not always gonna be here,
but I'm learning as I'm getting older
they sometimes it's OK to ask people for
(11:19):
help and sometimes I wouldn't because
like. People weren't reliable or I felt I
would be let down, but all you can do is
ask people for help. Put it out there.
You know, and that's, you know, it really
goes back to we, we need each other, you
know, we need each other. And it's OK to
ask for help. You know, we're not out
(11:41):
here alone on the island.
By yourself.
Seek therapy. Therapy is self-care.
There's a lot of therapies that take.
Insurance or a rolling
scale?
So many out here black girl
(12:03):
therapy.
Better Health, The board's
Foundation by Taraji P
Henson.
Really like therapy has been
amazing. For myself care of
learning to like use my voice, I can
see growth in me setting
(12:24):
boundaries.
It's a safe place to really have some
self-awareness and to look at myself,
have a reflection.
Yes, so.
You talked about that therapy. You talked
about the delegation. We're going to go
to delegation first. And ask
her for help.
(12:47):
As a recovering perfectionist, some of
my family would disagree that I said
recovering. But I
am a recovering perfectionist.
It
OK, so we were having a great
conversation and you know,
(13:09):
electronic technology said
we don't like this conversation, we gonna
stop it, but that no, we just
keeping going. We're gonna keep it going.
So you were talking about that
delegation. As a
recovering perfectionist.
And I'm, I'm at the very early
(13:32):
stage of recovery. I
don't like to give stuff to people, ask
people to do it because they're not going
to do it as good as I'm doing. Or
sometimes you don't do it at all. It's
like.
Why did I give this to them? Yeah.
That's real. That's real.
(13:54):
So that is something that I am definitely
working on because the bottom line is I
can't do it all by myself.
I want to do it all by myself but I
can't, so there are things that.
I want to accomplish and I need other
people. And
somebody told me you don't worry about.
(14:15):
You just make sure that it's done. It
don't matter if it's not done the way you
would have did it or whatever is the task
completed. So that's something that I'm
working on. And then you talked about my
favorite therapy. Yes. Therapy,
yes. I
love therapy. There are a lot of families
(14:35):
that grew up with the stigma of you
don't go to therapy. That means you have
this, that and the other, when in
reality. Every last one
of us should be in some type of therapy.
That's what I believe. And
depending on your background, especially
if you grew up in a church. The
(14:56):
type of church I grew up in did not
believe you. You go pray to God,
you go fasting or whatever. That was
all the therapy you needed.
But. I say,
and you need
a certified licensed therapist
(15:17):
because. Sometimes people will
have. Therapists that
are not certified, they don't know what
they're doing at all. And you going
in there talking to them and you not
getting what you need out of the
conversation. So I
encourage people all everyone listening
to this today, Yeah. You don't have a
(15:39):
therapist. Find you a good therapist. And
if you get a therapist and
you're like try another one.
I think I'm on my third therapist and
each one has helped in different
ways. But I realized
there's a season. Like one
therapist I had to let go was like,
(16:00):
no. This is
it. This is done. I need a new therapist
and one of the things my new therapist
is working with me on.
It's forgiveness.
Oh.
Forgiveness because.
(16:24):
That's part of our self-care. We have to
learn to forgive. We don't forgive for
them, we forgive for ourselves because we
can't that just lingering on our bodies.
We have to let that go.
And.
I realize I I still have some growth.
(16:46):
I have some growth. How are you with
forgiving people?
Yeah, I I honestly struggle with that.
I had to talk to my therapist
about. A
situation where.
I thought someone should have been
showing up for me in a way that they
(17:06):
weren't showing up for me and I just.
I didn't wanna have that tough
conversation with them. I just
wanted to just kind of just.
Ease it on and so my therapist, I really
been empowered to have tough
conversations. You know, you get advice
from different people, but like to have
(17:27):
tough conversation and so I ended up
having that tough conversation with that
person of explain to them how I
thought they, you know, should
have showed up or did XYZ and.
You know, received it well and we can,
you know, we can move forward.
(17:48):
About expectations and what I expect.
But I feel like often times we don't want
to forgive, but we have to look at
it like. I don't
ever want to live like with regrets
and I feel like a lot of times we don't
have these tough conversations. Personal
professional is because we don't wanna
(18:10):
feel. We don't wanna feel uncomfortable.
We don't wanna get out of our comfort
zone, our comfort space.
I don't know how this is make me feel or
I'm inside person like I don't like
conflict. I don't like drama, I don't
like uproar, but
it doesn't have to be that way. You can.
(18:30):
Have a conversation and I was just having
this conversation. With a
few friends of like, there's a lack
of communication skills. I
feel like since the pandemic, everybody
wants to text and people don't wanna get
in person or get on the phone
and we have to
(18:52):
just, and I have a communications
background and I was like, well, I don't
wanna communicate. I just wanna let this
kinda go. But I did. And I'm proud of
myself because I, I did
forgive the person. I did have the tough
conversation. And
you and people can't read our minds.
So you know, who knows? You
(19:16):
know, we have these things where
they should know. But no, people can't
read our minds so.
Yeah, that part. And then the other thing
someone told me just because you forgive
somebody doesn't mean you have to re
establish that relationship.
(19:36):
Yeah, I can forgive you and then we move
on. We don't have that same relationship
no more. And the fact. The
main reason why you should be forgiving
people, not the main reason, but a reason
why you should be forgiving people is so
that you can have your own
peace and you can move forward and do
(19:57):
what you need to do. So
yeah, that's a part of self-care, OK,
That is all a part of self-care.
Yeah. Question for you,
we're coming up on our time but I have a
question. What is
one piece of advice you would give your
younger self about
(20:20):
the self-care genre? What would you say
to help them to be able to shine?
I would say be gentle with yourself.
Give yourself grace. Listen
to your body. Listen to
what you need.
(20:42):
Walk in peace.
Do things that bring you joy.
Yes, yes. Two things that bring you
joy. Yes, yes.
Exactly. Forgive
yourself, show yourself grace. Stop being
(21:05):
yourself up, OK?
I wish somebody would have told me that
when I was a child and I would have
listened. I don't know if I would have
listened, but I wish I would have
listened. So is there
anything you want to leave my guests with
today?
(21:25):
It could be with the advice you just gave
for the younger self or something else.
What do you want to leave my guests with
today?I wanna leave your guest with
today knowing that
they empower themselves, that they can
embark on their self-care
journey. Self-care always
(21:46):
doesn't have to mean something like
tangible like you're spending money on.
self-care can look differently for
you whatever stage of life you're on.
Self-care has to be intentional. You
have to be intentional about.
Yourself care, setting yourself up
(22:06):
for success. So whatever that if he's
getting into your skin care routine,
if it's making sure you are using your
PTO at work, if it's taking you a
me day and saying, hey, I'm just
gonna go and decompress, I'm gonna turn
off my phone and have a me day.
If it's I'm gonna do absolutely nothing.
(22:29):
If if I'm gonna schedule me a therapy
session. Whatever
you do, be intentional
about it. Give yourself grace. We're not
perfect, you know, we might
fall off, but get back on. Get yourself a
good accountability
partner, community. Get yourself in
(22:49):
community because when you're in
community, it makes a difference. You
don't feel like you're isolated or by
yourself. And love
yourself. Give yourself a hug.
Love yourself, life is so short.
We doing virtual hugs. Shall I join in on
the virtual hugs? OK.
(23:12):
So, Brooke, how can my
listeners learn more about
you, keep up with you, follow you?
What are the options?Yes, they
can follow me on IG and
Tiktok at Brook
Motivates. And
also you can find me on my website at
(23:34):
brookewaller. com.
You can stay tuned for different
self-care workshops coming soon.
I would love to work with you
guys. Yeah, OK.
So.
(23:54):
Thank you all for tuning in to another
episode of Shine Bright with Sabrina. My
desire is that you are inspired to
practice some self-care
unapologetically based on the
conversation we had today. So that you
understand, self-care is not selfish.
It's actually a requirement for you to be
able to show up as your best.
(24:17):
All the information for Brooks
stuff will be in the show notes.
So her details of how you may follow her
and keep up with her will be in the show
notes. I am Sabrina Shine
Williams. And if you have
not already subscribed, go ahead and
subscribe to the podcast so you know when
(24:38):
new episodes are dropped. Leave a
comment, share with your friend, follow
me on Instagram, Tiktok or
YouTube. And all of those are
Sabrina Shine Williams.
Remember, you have the power to make a
difference by deciding and then taking
action. Shine as bright as you
(25:01):
want because together we shine
brighter. And until next time, this is
Sabrina Shine Williams signing off.
Take care, stay inspired, and
let's keep making this world a brighter
place together. Thank you.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Shine Bright with Sabrina, and I am
your host, Sabrina Shine Williams
today. We have a
incredible.
Guest Her name is Brooke Waller and she
is the CEO of Brook Bowl Media.
And I'm so excited to talk to her today
(00:30):
because our episode is gonna be about the
importance of self-care and the
fact that self-care is not
selfish. So, Brooke,
introduce yourself to my
audience and let them know who you are.
Yes, yes. Thank you, Sabrina, so much for
having me on. I'm so excited to
(00:52):
speak to your guests. Yes, as you
mentioned, I am the CEO of Brookville
Media. I am a speaker in
self-care strategies. And
so I recognize that oftentimes
Black women don't take time for
themselves. They don't speak up, they
don't set boundaries. And so I'm
passionate about helping Black women
(01:14):
find their voice, implement self-
care, and realize self-care is not
selfish.
Correct, not selfish at all.
Is actually a requirement if we want to
show up as our best and brightest self.
So share with us, what does self-care
(01:35):
look like for you right now?
Yes, self-care looks like for me
is doing things that
fill my cup, that bring me
joy. Self-care
looks like for me, setting boundaries.
Putting myself first. I'm in a
(01:57):
new season of life and
just transitioning.
And I'm realizing, you know, I gotta get
back to Brooke. I have to
make time for self-care, put
it on my calendar, schedule
it. And just
really stick to excuse
(02:18):
me, skip, stick to myself,
care.
Nice, nice, nice. OK, so
you said boundaries.
Taking a deep breath because boundaries
is one of those things that I'm still
working on.
I've set up a few things to help me with
(02:39):
that. For example, I set up a do not
disturb on my phone so
if anybody tried to call me after 10:00
and before 8:00 AM in the morning, my
phone is not gonna rain. That's my one
way of kinda keeping from staying on the
phone all the time. What type of
boundaries have you set up
(03:01):
and would like to share with us?
Yes, some some boundaries that I've set
up is learning to say no.
It's OK to say no. I know that
it's a challenge, but you have to get
comfortable saying no.
Sometimes we want to. I see myself as a
(03:23):
recovering people pleaser that we want to
please everyone we want
to. Just
show up and be there for everyone. But we
cannot. We're only one person. And if we
don't pour in our cup and fill ourselves
up, how are we going to be our best?
Be our best selves?
(03:44):
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly exactly
that I'm saying no.
I had somebody tell me, Sabrina.
No, is a complete sentence.
It's like what she said. When you say no,
put a period behind it. You don't have to
(04:04):
explain anything to anybody. And when you
say no, mean it.
OK, because as a recovering
people pleaser, I say no, but
then I feel fat. It's like, oh, maybe I
should go and help them. And then I
change my mind and I don't feel right
about it. So learning to say
(04:25):
no and mean it has
been something that's.
That's free. It's still a struggle.
So I don't want anybody to think, Oh
yeah, we got this down pat. It's still a
struggle for me. I still have my days
when I will say yes to something that I
really wanted to say no to and I should
(04:46):
have said no to.
OK, So what is your
favorite Self Carey tune
routine?
I love it. I've just kind of started this
new routine. First
is having my facial routine in the
morning and the night. I'm doing my skin
(05:09):
care, making sure I'm taking care of my
skin, drinking my water,
I'm drinking my tea, taking my vitamins.
Incorporating physical activity such as
meditation,
yoga, there's different mindfulness
apps. That you can
download on your phone.
(05:32):
Healthy eating. Healthy eating is a part
of myself care routine of being
intentional. One of my words for this
year is intentional. Intentional about
being physically active because it
all starts with your mindset for
self-care. It all starts with your
mindset and what we're feeding, what
we're putting into our body, the physical
(05:53):
activity, all of that
makes a difference. And we are a
temple. We are. God gives our body as a
temple, and we have to take care of it.
Yes, yes. So you look
at seem like you got the whole gamut
you're looking at mentally, physically
(06:14):
and spiritually. Taking care of
yourself. What are your
thoughts? Do you?
Subscribe to the view that self-
care and self love kind of
work hand in hand and necessary.
Absolutely I do, because.
(06:37):
You have to love yourself first. When you
love yourself first, people learn how to
treat you, how to show up and have
respect for you. If you
don't respect your own self
and you're not getting enough of
sleep or you're letting people like run
all over you, take your kindness for
weakness. You know, how is that showing
(07:00):
your your own self self love? How are you
showing other people?To treat
you. I was talking to one of my mentors
the other day and she's reading this
book about setting boundaries.
And we were discussing you have
to show people how to
treat you and you have to show people in
(07:21):
the way your boundaries, what you're
going to respond to, what you're going to
allow. And having that self
love makes it makes a
completely, completely different.
How you show up in the world. How you
show up in the workplace.
How You're demanding respect, you
(07:41):
know.
That's true. That is so true, because
when we. Think about
self-care and self love.
You have to love yourself enough to give
yourself everything you need to keep
your cup full. And typically
(08:03):
as women, a lot of us tend to
pour out into everybody else. We just
serve and serve and serve and serving and
become depleted. And then after we're
depleted, we're just out there
by ourselves. And a lot of times we don't
have someone or group that will
pour back into us. So it's important.
(08:25):
To remember that self love. We can't give
our last drop to anybody
except for ourselves. We cannot
give and give and give and give and give
and not expect to have.
Anything given back to us. So sometimes
that means that we have to give it to
ourselves, whether that's reading a book.
(08:49):
Doing the facials, drinking the water,
getting to sleep, man, that sleep I
sleep is different.
It does for like 3 nights in a
row. I got the most was 5 1/2
hourssleep for
three nights in a row. And that third
(09:09):
day, I was like, wait a minute. My body
does not like this, so I went and took a
nap. I
would have slept for about two hours and
I got up and said, OK, that's a little
bit better. And then I went to bed
earlier that night. I said, Oh no, I
have to get my rest. And I
think sometimes some of us go
(09:32):
out and we're.
So busy doing so many other things, we
don't think about how important rest is.
It makes a huge it makes a huge
difference of getting enough of sleep.
It can impact how you age. It can impact
different health issues that you might
(09:54):
encounter also from not getting enough of
sleep. I learned from
a couple of friends about taking
magnesium like a powder.
And mixing it with like.
A cherry juice or cherry tart or even
water and it's just a
natural like kind of you take it before
(10:16):
bed and helps you go to sleep.
OK. OK, make some
magnesium with a cherry tart or
water and that helps with sleep.
Yeah. You got any other tips for
my listeners?
Why? Why you sharing? You got anything
(10:36):
else you want to share with us?
Yes, I would say learning to
delegate and having.
No screen time delegating.
In therapy, I love therapy. I feel
like often times, and I just realized
this from a video that I was looking at
(10:57):
that I often struggle with asking people
for help and I everything links
back to your childhood and I'm the only
child and I was raised to be
strong independent.
You know, we're not always gonna be here,
but I'm learning as I'm getting older
they sometimes it's OK to ask people for
(11:19):
help and sometimes I wouldn't because
like. People weren't reliable or I felt I
would be let down, but all you can do is
ask people for help. Put it out there.
You know, and that's, you know, it really
goes back to we, we need each other, you
know, we need each other. And it's OK to
ask for help. You know, we're not out
(11:41):
here alone on the island.
By yourself.
Seek therapy. Therapy is self-care.
There's a lot of therapies that take.
Insurance or a rolling
scale?
So many out here black girl
(12:03):
therapy.
Better Health, The board's
Foundation by Taraji P
Henson.
Really like therapy has been
amazing. For myself care of
learning to like use my voice, I can
see growth in me setting
(12:24):
boundaries.
It's a safe place to really have some
self-awareness and to look at myself,
have a reflection.
Yes, so.
You talked about that therapy. You talked
about the delegation. We're going to go
to delegation first. And ask
her for help.
(12:47):
As a recovering perfectionist, some of
my family would disagree that I said
recovering. But I
am a recovering perfectionist.
It
OK, so we were having a great
conversation and you know,
(13:09):
electronic technology said
we don't like this conversation, we gonna
stop it, but that no, we just
keeping going. We're gonna keep it going.
So you were talking about that
delegation. As a
recovering perfectionist.
And I'm, I'm at the very early
(13:32):
stage of recovery. I
don't like to give stuff to people, ask
people to do it because they're not going
to do it as good as I'm doing. Or
sometimes you don't do it at all. It's
like.
Why did I give this to them? Yeah.
That's real. That's real.
(13:54):
So that is something that I am definitely
working on because the bottom line is I
can't do it all by myself.
I want to do it all by myself but I
can't, so there are things that.
I want to accomplish and I need other
people. And
somebody told me you don't worry about.
(14:15):
You just make sure that it's done. It
don't matter if it's not done the way you
would have did it or whatever is the task
completed. So that's something that I'm
working on. And then you talked about my
favorite therapy. Yes. Therapy,
yes. I
love therapy. There are a lot of families
(14:35):
that grew up with the stigma of you
don't go to therapy. That means you have
this, that and the other, when in
reality. Every last one
of us should be in some type of therapy.
That's what I believe. And
depending on your background, especially
if you grew up in a church. The
(14:56):
type of church I grew up in did not
believe you. You go pray to God,
you go fasting or whatever. That was
all the therapy you needed.
But. I say,
and you need
a certified licensed therapist
(15:17):
because. Sometimes people will
have. Therapists that
are not certified, they don't know what
they're doing at all. And you going
in there talking to them and you not
getting what you need out of the
conversation. So I
encourage people all everyone listening
to this today, Yeah. You don't have a
(15:39):
therapist. Find you a good therapist. And
if you get a therapist and
you're like try another one.
I think I'm on my third therapist and
each one has helped in different
ways. But I realized
there's a season. Like one
therapist I had to let go was like,
(16:00):
no. This is
it. This is done. I need a new therapist
and one of the things my new therapist
is working with me on.
It's forgiveness.
Oh.
Forgiveness because.
(16:24):
That's part of our self-care. We have to
learn to forgive. We don't forgive for
them, we forgive for ourselves because we
can't that just lingering on our bodies.
We have to let that go.
And.
I realize I I still have some growth.
(16:46):
I have some growth. How are you with
forgiving people?
Yeah, I I honestly struggle with that.
I had to talk to my therapist
about. A
situation where.
I thought someone should have been
showing up for me in a way that they
(17:06):
weren't showing up for me and I just.
I didn't wanna have that tough
conversation with them. I just
wanted to just kind of just.
Ease it on and so my therapist, I really
been empowered to have tough
conversations. You know, you get advice
from different people, but like to have
(17:27):
tough conversation and so I ended up
having that tough conversation with that
person of explain to them how I
thought they, you know, should
have showed up or did XYZ and.
You know, received it well and we can,
you know, we can move forward.
(17:48):
About expectations and what I expect.
But I feel like often times we don't want
to forgive, but we have to look at
it like. I don't
ever want to live like with regrets
and I feel like a lot of times we don't
have these tough conversations. Personal
professional is because we don't wanna
(18:10):
feel. We don't wanna feel uncomfortable.
We don't wanna get out of our comfort
zone, our comfort space.
I don't know how this is make me feel or
I'm inside person like I don't like
conflict. I don't like drama, I don't
like uproar, but
it doesn't have to be that way. You can.
(18:30):
Have a conversation and I was just having
this conversation. With a
few friends of like, there's a lack
of communication skills. I
feel like since the pandemic, everybody
wants to text and people don't wanna get
in person or get on the phone
and we have to
(18:52):
just, and I have a communications
background and I was like, well, I don't
wanna communicate. I just wanna let this
kinda go. But I did. And I'm proud of
myself because I, I did
forgive the person. I did have the tough
conversation. And
you and people can't read our minds.
So you know, who knows? You
(19:16):
know, we have these things where
they should know. But no, people can't
read our minds so.
Yeah, that part. And then the other thing
someone told me just because you forgive
somebody doesn't mean you have to re
establish that relationship.
(19:36):
Yeah, I can forgive you and then we move
on. We don't have that same relationship
no more. And the fact. The
main reason why you should be forgiving
people, not the main reason, but a reason
why you should be forgiving people is so
that you can have your own
peace and you can move forward and do
(19:57):
what you need to do. So
yeah, that's a part of self-care, OK,
That is all a part of self-care.
Yeah. Question for you,
we're coming up on our time but I have a
question. What is
one piece of advice you would give your
younger self about
(20:20):
the self-care genre? What would you say
to help them to be able to shine?
I would say be gentle with yourself.
Give yourself grace. Listen
to your body. Listen to
what you need.
(20:42):
Walk in peace.
Do things that bring you joy.
Yes, yes. Two things that bring you
joy. Yes, yes.
Exactly. Forgive
yourself, show yourself grace. Stop being
(21:05):
yourself up, OK?
I wish somebody would have told me that
when I was a child and I would have
listened. I don't know if I would have
listened, but I wish I would have
listened. So is there
anything you want to leave my guests with
today?
(21:25):
It could be with the advice you just gave
for the younger self or something else.
What do you want to leave my guests with
today?I wanna leave your guest with
today knowing that
they empower themselves, that they can
embark on their self-care
journey. Self-care always
(21:46):
doesn't have to mean something like
tangible like you're spending money on.
self-care can look differently for
you whatever stage of life you're on.
Self-care has to be intentional. You
have to be intentional about.
Yourself care, setting yourself up
(22:06):
for success. So whatever that if he's
getting into your skin care routine,
if it's making sure you are using your
PTO at work, if it's taking you a
me day and saying, hey, I'm just
gonna go and decompress, I'm gonna turn
off my phone and have a me day.
If it's I'm gonna do absolutely nothing.
(22:29):
If if I'm gonna schedule me a therapy
session. Whatever
you do, be intentional
about it. Give yourself grace. We're not
perfect, you know, we might
fall off, but get back on. Get yourself a
good accountability
partner, community. Get yourself in
(22:49):
community because when you're in
community, it makes a difference. You
don't feel like you're isolated or by
yourself. And love
yourself. Give yourself a hug.
Love yourself, life is so short.
We doing virtual hugs. Shall I join in on
the virtual hugs? OK.
(23:12):
So, Brooke, how can my
listeners learn more about
you, keep up with you, follow you?
What are the options?Yes, they
can follow me on IG and
Tiktok at Brook
Motivates. And
also you can find me on my website at
(23:34):
brookewaller. com.
You can stay tuned for different
self-care workshops coming soon.
I would love to work with you
guys. Yeah, OK.
So.
(23:54):
Thank you all for tuning in to another
episode of Shine Bright with Sabrina. My
desire is that you are inspired to
practice some self-care
unapologetically based on the
conversation we had today. So that you
understand, self-care is not selfish.
It's actually a requirement for you to be
able to show up as your best.
(24:17):
All the information for Brooks
stuff will be in the show notes.
So her details of how you may follow her
and keep up with her will be in the show
notes. I am Sabrina Shine
Williams. And if you have
not already subscribed, go ahead and
subscribe to the podcast so you know when
(24:38):
new episodes are dropped. Leave a
comment, share with your friend, follow
me on Instagram, Tiktok or
YouTube. And all of those are
Sabrina Shine Williams.
Remember, you have the power to make a
difference by deciding and then taking
action. Shine as bright as you
(25:01):
want because together we shine
brighter. And until next time, this is
Sabrina Shine Williams signing off.
Take care, stay inspired, and
let's keep making this world a brighter
place together. Thank you.
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