Breaking the Money Taboo: Why Women Should Start Taking Charge of Their Finances Now!

Subscribe to the video podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@SomaMandalsays/videos   Dr. Soma invites Melissa Murphy Pavone, a certified financial planner and divorce financial analyst, to discuss the importance of financial planning with a special focus on women's unique financial challenges. Melissa shares insights from her extensive experience in the field, emphasizing the intertwined relationship between health and financial wellness. From understanding the financial implications of becoming a caretaker to navigating major life transitions such as divorce, Melissa offers practical advice and stresses the importance of early financial literacy. The conversation also touches on the generational shift in financial roles, the significance of prenuptial agreements, and tips for engaging children in financial education. Dr. Soma highlights the critical role financial stability plays in overall health, advocating for thorough financial preparation and open communication. This episode provides valuable guidance for women at all stages of life aiming to achieve financial empowerment and peace of mind. --   00:00 Introduction and Disclaimer       00:41 The Importance of Financial Wellness     01:39 Meet Melissa Murphy Pavone     02:28 Financial Planning for Women     08:00 Challenges and Transitions     09:57 Financial Literacy for the Younger Generation     20:40 Planning for Retirement and Healthcare     37:04 Empowering Women in the Workplace     39:21 Conclusion and Contact Information   To learn more about Melissa Murphy Pavone and Mindful Financial Partners, visit https://mindfulfinancialpartners.com/

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, this is Dr.

(00:01):
Soma.
Just a disclaimer, this podcast is for informational purposes only and isn't intended as medical advice.
Always consult with your doctor before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or health regimen.
Let's go to the show.

(00:41):
.482Our most valuable commodity is time and to really value the time that we have and who we spend it with and making sure that financial wellness is part of our overall health and wellness is super important my why is really my mom she went through a divorce and made decisions with her heart and not her head. 7 00:01:10,527.482 --> 00:01:22,617.483 And because of that, I have dedicated a lot of my practice to helping divorcees make more informed decisions and empowering them to increase their financial literacy. 8 00:01:23,344.966 --> 00:01:27,84.966 The stress that comes with finances. 9 00:01:27,844.966 --> 00:01:32,894.966 is so consuming that it can affect your health. 10 00:01:34,134.966 --> 00:01:38,714.965999999 And like I said, without health, there is no wealth. 11 00:01:41,602.449 --> 00:01:43,242.449 Welcome back to Soma Says. 12 00:01:43,492.449 --> 00:01:44,82.449 This is Dr. 13 00:01:44,82.449 --> 00:01:44,522.449 Soma. 14 00:01:44,532.449 --> 00:01:48,2.449 Today I have the pleasure of hosting Melissa Murphy Pavone. 15 00:01:48,542.449 --> 00:01:53,962.449 She is a certified financial planner and a certified divorce financial analyst. 16 00:01:54,202.449 --> 00:02:05,847.449 With over 18 years of experience, Melissa is dedicated to helping clients get their Take a proactive approach to their financial lives, ensuring peace of mind and empowerment for a better future. 17 00:02:06,147.449 --> 00:02:17,657.449 A graduate of James Madison University, Melissa combines her extensive knowledge from top firms like Northwestern Mutual and Citigroup with her passion for personalized financial strategies. 18 00:02:17,977.448 --> 00:02:25,847.449 As the founder of Mindful Financial Partners, she's here to share insights on achieving your life goals with confidence. 19 00:02:26,167.449 --> 00:02:28,187.448 Melissa, welcome to Soma Says. 20 00:02:28,357.448 --> 00:02:37,272.162 What inspired you to become a financial planner? I have a big initiative this year that health is wealth. 21 00:02:37,352.162 --> 00:02:47,562.162 And that, people often think about money as being the most important thing, and I really think our biggest. 22 00:02:48,972.162 --> 00:03:14,432.162 Our most valuable commodity is time and to really value the time that we have and who we spend it with and making sure that financial wellness is part of our overall health and wellness is super important and I think it really ties in because of the effects of stress and money is stressful and how stress can really break down your immune system and cause illness. 23 00:03:15,167.162 --> 00:03:45,732.16 I've realigned my view of money and financial planning based on first health, because I think a lot of people and I, I am fortunate enough to be able to realize these things because of the profession that I'm in, that, we need to have a certain amount of wealth, if you want to call it that, to, be able to. 24 00:03:46,427.161 --> 00:03:55,127.161 Take care of ourselves in our older years or allow our family to take care of them ourselves without, burdening them. 25 00:03:55,977.161 --> 00:03:58,187.16 And yeah, it's very connected. 26 00:03:58,487.161 --> 00:04:08,687.161 It, you'd be surprised how many people I have who come in who are in their seventies and eighties and they have been living in this country for however many years. 27 00:04:08,687.161 --> 00:04:14,17.161 And they don't realize that none of this stuff is necessarily covered by insurance. 28 00:04:14,757.161 --> 00:04:17,227.161 And I kind of look at them like, okay, this is. 29 00:04:17,297.261 --> 00:04:23,57.161 It's very bizarre that you've come to this stage of life and you don't realize it. 30 00:04:23,77.161 --> 00:04:45,142.161 So yeah, and I'm in a situation where I am a caretaker for my mom and so I see exactly how much planning I have to do, to make sure that she is financially safe and, obviously get the care that she needs. 31 00:04:45,152.161 --> 00:04:46,782.161 So it's a lot, Yeah. 32 00:04:47,302.161 --> 00:04:49,182.16 People don't know it's in the U. 33 00:04:49,182.161 --> 00:04:49,482.161 S. 34 00:04:49,482.161 --> 00:04:52,412.16 It's, it's, it's very daunting, Yeah. 35 00:04:52,542.16 --> 00:04:58,262.16 And there's that fine line of like helping others and still maintaining your own. 36 00:04:58,512.16 --> 00:05:02,902.16 savings and retirement and, and it's really, it's really hard. 37 00:05:02,902.16 --> 00:05:10,572.159 And the sandwich generation of helping our, our parents, and then at the same time, helping our children. 38 00:05:11,312.16 --> 00:05:14,122.16 It's an expensive season of our lives. 39 00:05:14,302.16 --> 00:05:19,532.159 We still have to, continue to grow our own wealth and save for our own retirement. 40 00:05:19,572.159 --> 00:05:19,852.159 So. 41 00:05:21,17.159 --> 00:05:21,897.159 Exactly. 42 00:05:21,907.159 --> 00:05:31,357.159 So that's exactly why I was drawn to you because I am in the sandwich generation and I see how much. 43 00:05:31,807.159 --> 00:05:36,697.159 of that kind of stress takes a toll on my patients. 44 00:05:36,697.159 --> 00:05:50,77.159 And they can be anywhere as young as their thirties to I have patients who are in their seventies and they're still taking care of their parents, So it can be a big, big stressor in, in many, many ways. 45 00:05:50,667.158 --> 00:05:56,717.159 And I thought this is perfect to have someone who knows how to talk about this. 46 00:05:57,232.159 --> 00:06:03,162.159 And why financial planning is particularly important for women. 47 00:06:03,852.159 --> 00:06:08,62.159 And then I wanted to, find out I always like learning about other professions. 48 00:06:08,72.159 --> 00:06:13,682.159 What drew you to this, what your background is, why you choose to do what you do. 49 00:06:15,362.158 --> 00:06:22,832.16 I always wanted to be in finance and financial planning was always drawn to me. 50 00:06:22,942.16 --> 00:06:27,722.16 And so I really took it seriously. 51 00:06:27,722.16 --> 00:06:41,652.1605 I received my or I earned my certified financial planner designation, which took many years and tests and studying and it's kind of the gold standard of financial planners to make sure you have that fiduciary responsibility. 52 00:06:41,662.1605 --> 00:06:48,962.1605 You always put your clients interests, about your own, lots of transparency when it comes to fees. 53 00:06:49,512.1605 --> 00:07:01,642.1605 But my why is really my mom she went through a divorce and made decisions with her heart and not her head. 54 00:07:02,192.1605 --> 00:07:14,282.1615 And because of that, I have dedicated a lot of my practice to helping divorcees make more informed decisions and empowering them to increase their financial literacy. 55 00:07:15,772.1615 --> 00:07:19,562.1615 In order to have better outcomes for their future. 56 00:07:19,992.1615 --> 00:07:33,282.1615 And I'm just a big proponent of in general, everyone knowing their numbers and having open financial communication as well as, incorporating financial wellness into their overall wellness. 57 00:07:34,512.1615 --> 00:07:47,972.162 Why do you think it's, it's particularly important for women and, and give us some examples because I see it in my practice, given the breadth of what I do and the range of, of patients that I see. 58 00:07:47,972.162 --> 00:07:54,972.1615 So I know what the examples look like, but I'd like to hear from you with your clients. 59 00:07:54,982.1615 --> 00:08:02,127.1615 What do you see yourself helping them through? I mean, all sorts of transitions. 60 00:08:02,177.1615 --> 00:08:12,657.161 I think a big one is taking a step away from your career to become a mom, I think, is one that we don't really put a lot of thought into. 61 00:08:12,657.161 --> 00:08:15,827.1615 We just kind of do it, myself included. 62 00:08:16,367.1615 --> 00:08:30,537.162 So that balancing act, we just Between being a mom and having a career and nowadays, a lot of the women are often the red winners or we, we need to have dual family incomes and both, spouses have careers. 63 00:08:30,997.161 --> 00:08:42,17.161 So what that looks like financially to take that break emotionally and financially from the workplace is a transition that I think is really hard to navigate. 64 00:08:42,552.161 --> 00:08:58,22.16 And divorce is often a big transition that it's not a very pleasant one, but when you go through a divorce, there are very heightened emotions and we're taking, a family and ultimately dividing it and it's not always equal. 65 00:08:58,22.161 --> 00:09:03,682.161 It's not always fair and everyone's financial literacy is not always the same. 66 00:09:04,572.161 --> 00:09:13,622.161 And so when I come into those situations, I really like to educate both parties on the long term consequences of the choices that they're making today. 67 00:09:14,212.161 --> 00:09:22,902.161 And it's not always so easy because when you're in the heightened emotions of divorce, you're just trying to get through the day. 68 00:09:23,12.161 --> 00:09:26,72.161 You're not thinking five, 10, 20 years from now. 69 00:09:26,632.161 --> 00:09:42,52.16 And so having a financial ally, Kind of point those things out and poke holes in some of the planning will just create that awareness and Make better choices in my practice. 70 00:09:42,382.161 --> 00:10:00,952.161 There's a lot of preventative stuff that I do How does that look like in your practice when you have women who are young? Who may be single who may be? newly married, Yeah, so I'm a big proponent of financial communication. 71 00:10:01,22.161 --> 00:10:09,172.161 If you are going to get married and co mingle your finances, because marriage is a financial commitment as well. 72 00:10:09,712.161 --> 00:10:14,42.161 And I am a proponent of prenuptial agreements. 73 00:10:14,292.161 --> 00:10:16,222.161 I don't think they're bad, especially. 74 00:10:16,832.161 --> 00:10:36,872.161 We're all statistically people are getting married a little later in life, and they're coming into the marriage with assets with businesses, with, stock options, with equity, and so it's nice to take just a snapshot of where you are when you enter and kind of carve those things out. 75 00:10:37,342.161 --> 00:10:43,162.161 I'm saying we're not going to build this wonderful life together and share on this, but just taking a snapshot of where you are. 76 00:10:44,352.161 --> 00:10:52,882.161 I think it's a healthy way to say, if this were not to work out, we're going to carve these pieces out and then we'll discuss, what we build together as a future. 77 00:10:53,432.161 --> 00:10:59,702.162 But women in general are caretakers, right? So, just like you said, you're taking care of your mom. 78 00:11:00,127.162 --> 00:11:01,507.162 women are becoming moms. 79 00:11:02,47.162 --> 00:11:03,777.162 And women also live longer. 80 00:11:03,987.162 --> 00:11:07,157.162 So we need to plan for all of those things. 81 00:11:07,827.162 --> 00:11:24,947.162 And I think the earlier people get started knowing their numbers and saving, one of the biggest things I see and with the younger demographic is they're earning, they're earning great salaries or, graduating from college, earning great salaries. 82 00:11:25,567.162 --> 00:11:27,97.161 They're not saving anything. 83 00:11:28,77.162 --> 00:11:33,432.162 And They're earning a lot, but they're spending more than they're actually making. 84 00:11:33,452.162 --> 00:11:37,752.162 And it's that, we call it the lifestyle creep. 85 00:11:37,762.161 --> 00:11:43,192.161 Like as you continue to make more money, you continue to spend more money and you're not actually getting ahead of the game. 86 00:11:43,202.162 --> 00:11:55,632.162 And so to instill those really good saving habits of increasing your 401k contribution of making sure you have an emergency fund, all of those things, the earlier you start them, the better. 87 00:11:55,632.162 --> 00:11:57,522.162 And it just becomes part of your normal. 88 00:11:57,952.162 --> 00:12:08,942.1615 And you be able to see the power of compound interest, and then it starts to get exciting and then people are starting to say, Oh, hey, I'm getting my bonus. 89 00:12:08,942.1615 --> 00:12:10,32.162 I'm going to put that here. 90 00:12:10,212.162 --> 00:12:11,192.162 I'm going to get that here. 91 00:12:11,202.162 --> 00:12:16,42.162 And then that's kind of when the light goes off and they become really an investor. 92 00:12:16,492.161 --> 00:12:18,662.161 And they take control of their own financial. 93 00:12:19,412.161 --> 00:12:19,962.161 future. 94 00:12:21,152.161 --> 00:12:25,542.161 You've, you've talked a lot about some of the challenges that you encounter. 95 00:12:25,962.161 --> 00:12:44,592.161 If you have to compare us women to men, what are the differences in the financial challenges that you have seen? I think it depends upon the demographic, the clients I'm working with now that are in there. 96 00:12:44,882.161 --> 00:12:49,922.161 50s and 60s and they're on the verge of a divorce. 97 00:12:50,582.161 --> 00:12:55,492.16 They left the financial role. 98 00:12:55,887.161 --> 00:12:56,827.161 Or financial duties. 99 00:12:56,827.161 --> 00:13:06,587.161 We call them the CFO spouse to their spouse, their significant other, regardless if they worked or not, or if they stayed home with the kids. 100 00:13:07,107.161 --> 00:13:12,847.161 And we're seeing a lot of, in my experience, primarily women saying, Hey, like I don't pay our bills. 101 00:13:12,887.161 --> 00:13:15,237.161 I just kind of blindly sign the tax return. 102 00:13:15,317.161 --> 00:13:17,837.161 I don't know where my mortgage is. 103 00:13:18,527.16 --> 00:13:29,127.161 And so there's some of that where they kind of just like, this was my role and I took care of the kids and I know all of, the PTA stuff and the birthday parties and, and then. 104 00:13:29,322.161 --> 00:13:43,842.162 they kind of, our spouse took care of the, the finances and the bills and the taxes and the investments and, and that's a big shift because the younger generation, that's not the case. 105 00:13:43,852.162 --> 00:13:56,682.162 So I think it really depends upon the demographic there, but I feel like with financial empowerment and female, feminism, everyone, we're now equal and they want to know exactly where it is, what it is. 106 00:13:56,927.162 --> 00:14:01,287.162 Where's the titling of everything? So I think that's, that's shifting. 107 00:14:01,327.162 --> 00:14:09,567.162 So it's, they won't be in those same situations, or if they're going to divorce later, it's going to look differently than the divorcees that I'm talking with now. 108 00:14:11,537.162 --> 00:14:18,727.1625 I think I'm reflecting back to when I was a young medical student and, and at that time, right. 109 00:14:19,247.1625 --> 00:14:25,917.1625 The only goal and focus was to get through medical school, to get through residency, you would look at your paycheck. 110 00:14:25,917.1625 --> 00:14:28,437.1615 I mean, this was God knows a million years ago. 111 00:14:28,437.1615 --> 00:14:33,967.1615 And I'd be, I was living in New York city and more than half of my paycheck is going to go towards my rent. 112 00:14:34,647.1615 --> 00:14:38,697.1605 So, and then the other, probably half was going towards my loans. 113 00:14:39,97.1605 --> 00:14:44,327.1605 So financial planning was probably the last. 114 00:14:45,937.1605 --> 00:14:49,67.1605 And, I, I come from an immigrant family. 115 00:14:49,67.1605 --> 00:14:56,317.16 So saving is still in my vocabulary, but not necessarily in the way that it should have been. 116 00:14:56,317.16 --> 00:15:00,747.1605 It took me a long time to kind of learn the ropes a bit. 117 00:15:01,527.1605 --> 00:15:13,187.1605 So how would you advise women from early on? what should we be reading? What should we be listening to in terms of podcasts that might help us? learn about this stuff. 118 00:15:13,187.1605 --> 00:15:17,367.1605 So we're not totally blind to the situation. 119 00:15:18,297.1605 --> 00:15:21,537.1595 Yeah, I think it's really important to have a financial ally. 120 00:15:21,537.1605 --> 00:15:28,707.1615 And if that's a financial coach, a financial planner, a financial advisor use that person as a resource. 121 00:15:29,12.1605 --> 00:15:35,192.1605 So that you understand where you are, a lot of times and I'm thinking back to personal experience. 122 00:15:35,192.1605 --> 00:15:45,342.161 I had younger cousins who got jobs and they're like, Hey, I got this, benefits package for a 401k and I don't know what I'm circling or what am I picking, and, and I would help them all do it. 123 00:15:45,342.161 --> 00:15:47,42.1615 And, but I'm like, what if. 124 00:15:47,547.1615 --> 00:15:57,217.1615 What about all the other people that are, starting their jobs and they don't have a cousin who's a financial planner? Like, what do they do? They're just kind of blindly going without that guidance. 125 00:15:57,247.1605 --> 00:16:02,357.1625 So I think reading, listening but it has to be a professional. 126 00:16:02,377.1625 --> 00:16:07,567.1625 There's a lot of, rhetoric out there that's on the internet, that's on TikTok, that's on, that. 127 00:16:08,322.1625 --> 00:16:17,292.1625 are just people's opinions, but not necessarily people with a financial background and degrees and certifications and designations. 128 00:16:17,312.1615 --> 00:16:25,622.1615 So if you find one, grab one and really learn from them and let them kind of be your accountability partner. 129 00:16:26,922.1615 --> 00:16:42,762.1615 And what does it take to find a financial planner whom you can trust? What should we be looking for in terms of their credentials And other things that, that we, we should be looking for when it comes to finding someone. 130 00:16:43,597.1615 --> 00:16:47,827.1615 Yeah, I think it's super important that you connect with the person on a personal level. 131 00:16:48,317.1615 --> 00:16:51,337.1605 So that you can be honest with them. 132 00:16:51,377.1615 --> 00:17:05,507.1625 Nowadays, there's, thanks to technology and the internet, it doesn't have to be kind of like your local person that has an office, on Main Street, you don't have to use your parents financial advisor, you have the ability to seek out. 133 00:17:05,697.1625 --> 00:17:08,217.1625 Really somebody that works for you. 134 00:17:08,397.1625 --> 00:17:13,307.1625 So I think that is really important to make sure the values are lined up. 135 00:17:13,847.1625 --> 00:17:25,367.1625 But I would definitely Recommend a certified financial planner because it's a rigorous background credential to make sure that they are trained and a fiduciary for you. 136 00:17:25,807.1625 --> 00:17:28,907.1625 Yeah, it is so important. 137 00:17:28,947.1625 --> 00:17:30,467.163 because I again, I see. 138 00:17:31,72.163 --> 00:18:07,277.163 So many different types of patients, and I see a lot of women in my practice, and as you can imagine, through various stages of life, and it's always shocking to me when it's devastating, honestly, what, when I, when I hear about the stories at times, and, there, there's no career because they've given up, it's been maybe 20 years since they've worked, And, suddenly they find themselves in a situation where they don't even know how they're going to support themselves, let alone maybe their kids as well. 139 00:18:07,957.163 --> 00:18:08,487.163 Yeah. 140 00:18:08,607.163 --> 00:18:12,647.163 So, these are, these are the situations where, that. 141 00:18:12,712.264 --> 00:18:17,982.164 I don't necessarily know how to deal with that. 142 00:18:17,982.164 --> 00:18:22,142.164 I, I deal with the medical and, and sometimes the psychological aspects of it. 143 00:18:22,852.164 --> 00:18:27,752.164 But, we, it's like they have to start from, from scratch. 144 00:18:28,392.163 --> 00:18:36,327.163 What do you think leads to this? This the difference. 145 00:18:36,707.163 --> 00:19:01,492.163 I don't want to make a stereotype between men and women, but I'll be honest with you when, if I have to count, the number of men that I know who are financially more aware it's a lot more, what, what do you think the differences? I think generationally, like, that's just kind of those norms that were slowly breaking. 146 00:19:01,592.163 --> 00:19:10,302.162 But if you think back, moms didn't work back in the day, right? Like their job was to get married and be a mom and take care of the house. 147 00:19:10,342.162 --> 00:19:22,162.161 And so they Left kind of the financial aspect to the spouse that, kind of was working and dealing with the bills and the money coming in and going out. 148 00:19:23,42.162 --> 00:19:24,582.161 And that's not really the case anymore. 149 00:19:24,582.162 --> 00:19:31,432.161 Most most families need to incomes or sometimes more to survive. 150 00:19:31,432.161 --> 00:19:34,22.1605 And, our inflation filled world. 151 00:19:34,432.1605 --> 00:19:39,22.1605 So I think that it's changing now and that it's more. 152 00:19:39,532.1615 --> 00:19:53,532.1605 It's I wouldn't say it's equal, but it's becoming more equal or more balanced and that women do want to know about their finances and are, contributing and often sometimes are the breadwinners in the families. 153 00:19:53,622.1605 --> 00:19:57,622.1615 So I think that in the past it was. 154 00:19:58,87.1615 --> 00:19:58,727.1615 That way. 155 00:19:59,67.1615 --> 00:20:01,817.1615 But I don't think it will be that way for the future. 156 00:20:01,847.1615 --> 00:20:11,887.1615 And I think that regardless of where you are in your marriage, the financial communication is really key. 157 00:20:12,427.1615 --> 00:20:20,377.1615 And it doesn't matter, if you're happily married, or you're getting divorced, or, there's so many transitions that we go through within our lifetime. 158 00:20:20,807.1615 --> 00:20:28,962.1615 So to have that really solid relationship Financial communication will help in all aspects and all transitions that we go through. 159 00:20:30,292.1615 --> 00:20:31,312.1615 Very, very true. 160 00:20:32,262.1615 --> 00:20:40,12.1625 I think, one of the things that you had mentioned is that women tend to live longer than men. 161 00:20:40,562.1625 --> 00:21:16,147.1635 And should we be planning our financial future as soon as we get out of school or even before, like, should this be something that, we do as adolescents or is something that parents should be helping set up for their children beforehand? Yeah, I mean, the earlier the better is my, kind of mantra and it's true are most women will outlive their spouse which and, with the advances in technology and, medical world, we are living longer. 162 00:21:16,597.1635 --> 00:21:20,267.1635 And so that coupled together, we need to make our retirement. 163 00:21:20,847.1635 --> 00:21:29,677.1635 Money last longer, so it's really imperative to think about long term care to make sure there's an emergency fund. 164 00:21:29,687.1625 --> 00:21:36,897.1625 And when you're thinking about retirement planning, really factor in the cost of health care in retirement. 165 00:21:37,887.1635 --> 00:21:40,987.2125 That is that is such an important thing because, I. 166 00:21:41,572.2135 --> 00:22:01,992.2135 I also see a fair share of patients 65 and older, and as I was mentioning, there are times when I see patients and it's Almost shocking to me, right? That they're not aware of certain things that may or may not be covered. 167 00:22:02,2.2135 --> 00:22:15,232.2135 And, and, it, to even think about just the care that sometimes people need and the costs involved with that, it can be very daunting, so. 168 00:22:15,592.2135 --> 00:22:30,862.2125 So how do you advise, and this, this obviously applies for both men and women, but so how, how do you advise your your clients about that? this is something that I, I don't necessarily see on a large scale basis. 169 00:22:31,172.2135 --> 00:22:32,202.2135 With my patients. 170 00:22:33,32.2135 --> 00:22:42,82.2125 Yeah, I think it's very important that the financial advisor financial planner that you're working with takes into consideration the cost of health care. 171 00:22:42,82.2125 --> 00:22:56,212.2125 And if that's, making sure that there's long term care put into place prior to retirement, or just really being realistic about what health care is going to cost in the future. 172 00:22:56,312.2125 --> 00:23:08,632.2125 And it really depends upon, Are you on a fixed income, or is there generational wealth there? And unfortunately, it really depends upon how early you start, but the earlier you start, the better off you are. 173 00:23:09,52.2125 --> 00:23:20,342.2125 And just to be aware of it and educate yourself on, okay, what are my options and how much do these options cost, and what are the benefits of all these different insurance policies that are. 174 00:23:20,677.2125 --> 00:23:21,287.2125 offered. 175 00:23:22,407.2125 --> 00:23:23,807.2125 I think it's really important. 176 00:23:24,727.2125 --> 00:23:37,57.213 It almost feels, for certain patients, and I see this in patients who are in their early 60s, it's almost like this mad rush to get to 65, Okay, I made it. 177 00:23:37,57.213 --> 00:23:38,167.2135 I got my Medicare. 178 00:23:38,787.2145 --> 00:23:39,977.2125 I'm okay now. 179 00:23:40,542.2135 --> 00:24:02,22.2135 But, that gap between 60 and 65, and as that can be, in our 50s as well, that can be a tricky time when, you may not always be employed and it may be hard to find, the ageism is here in our society, and it may be difficult to find another job. 180 00:24:03,12.2135 --> 00:24:07,852.2135 That's like that age, that 62 to 65 is when I see. 181 00:24:08,427.2135 --> 00:24:10,587.2135 That tension happening. 182 00:24:11,692.2135 --> 00:24:24,42.2125 And, and oftentimes people want to turn on social security early and say, okay, I'm going to turn this on and not realizing that they're giving themselves a permanent haircut for the rest of their life. 183 00:24:24,202.2135 --> 00:24:24,622.2135 Yes. 184 00:24:25,2.2135 --> 00:24:33,792.2135 So that is part of the holistic financial planning that I do for the pre retirees is to really optimize the social security and see. 185 00:24:34,422.2135 --> 00:24:50,862.2145 Does it make sense to turn this on or does it make sense to wait and take from a different source, even if it's in the short term to allow that to grow so that you don't give yourself a permanent, not be penalized permanently. 186 00:24:51,242.2155 --> 00:24:55,752.2145 And sometimes people can't see that math, right? They're just like, okay, I don't have any money. 187 00:24:55,752.2145 --> 00:24:56,822.2145 I can't get a new job. 188 00:24:57,212.2145 --> 00:24:58,12.2155 I'm turning this on. 189 00:24:58,62.2155 --> 00:24:58,742.2155 This will help. 190 00:25:00,682.2155 --> 00:25:02,162.2155 And I'll create a spreadsheet. 191 00:25:03,147.2155 --> 00:25:10,667.2155 To kind of look and see, okay, this is what it looks like if we turn it on now, this is what it looks like if we wait and look at that difference. 192 00:25:11,217.2145 --> 00:25:15,687.2145 And if you live, another 30 years, what that is over time. 193 00:25:16,267.2135 --> 00:25:22,317.2135 And so those are the conversations that you really have to peel back the layer of the onion and really go deep. 194 00:25:22,867.2135 --> 00:25:24,97.2135 And sometimes it's math. 195 00:25:24,772.2145 --> 00:25:30,702.2145 And financial and sometimes it's emotional and and together we work through it. 196 00:25:31,552.2145 --> 00:25:40,732.2145 That's really, that's really great that you talk about this because these are the not the conversations that you necessarily have with friends and. 197 00:25:41,652.2145 --> 00:25:54,142.2135 even as an internist, I'm sometimes surprised that I'm having these kinds of conversations, right? Because I don't think my patients, not everyone, but that some of my patients are not necessarily talking about this. 198 00:25:54,142.2145 --> 00:25:58,962.2155 So I find myself talking about these kinds of things with them. 199 00:25:59,382.2145 --> 00:26:00,2.2145 Have you. 200 00:26:00,447.2145 --> 00:26:17,257.2135 Do you have an advanced directive? Have you seen your lawyer for that? do you have someone who's helping you plan? yes, you're deciding to take social security, but did you talk to someone to make sure that that is financially, the, the best thing, for you to do so. 201 00:26:17,977.2135 --> 00:26:32,537.2125 Because again, here in this country, I, I do believe your health is very closely connected to how much money you have, unfortunately, it is, it is. 202 00:26:32,637.2125 --> 00:26:34,297.2125 And what, all the money in the world, it's. 203 00:26:35,557.2125 --> 00:26:36,837.2125 if you're sick. 204 00:26:36,847.2125 --> 00:26:38,867.2125 So there's definitely that connection there. 205 00:26:38,867.2125 --> 00:26:52,147.2125 And then together, what you want this money to do for you and the life that you want to live and the legacy you want to create, I think are really important conversations as a mother myself. 206 00:26:52,527.2125 --> 00:27:17,497.2125 Who didn't necessarily grow up with a lot of financial advice, but, again, coming from an immigrant family, savings was always in the, in the background, what can I do with my, my kids to make them more financially aware and financially literate? How old are your children? They're, you tweens. 207 00:27:17,977.2125 --> 00:27:18,387.2125 Yeah. 208 00:27:20,317.2115 --> 00:27:21,377.2125 That was funny because I was. 209 00:27:22,407.2125 --> 00:27:35,27.2125 I interviewed on a podcast recently and we talked about this about how being a mom and technology and finance and my daughter lost, broke her water bottle, which in today's age is like, the end all be all. 210 00:27:35,77.2115 --> 00:27:37,77.2115 And so she needed a new water bottle. 211 00:27:37,917.2125 --> 00:27:40,137.2125 And that. 212 00:27:40,372.2125 --> 00:28:04,262.2125 She went to bed, and, after I put her to bed, and I'm trying to, pluck my eyebrows, and, put face cream on, and do laundry, and pack the lunches for the next day, I ordered a new water bottle, and it just miraculously appeared on our door, thanks to Amazon, and the next day, she had a new water bottle, and I thought to myself, one, how great is that, that The convenience. 213 00:28:04,262.2125 --> 00:28:05,82.2125 I didn't have to go to a store. 214 00:28:05,82.2125 --> 00:28:05,962.2125 I didn't have to research. 215 00:28:05,962.2125 --> 00:28:07,112.2125 I didn't have to leave my house. 216 00:28:07,112.2125 --> 00:28:08,492.2125 I was multitasking. 217 00:28:09,292.2125 --> 00:28:15,22.2125 But at the same time, how terrible that is that just that instant gratification of we need something. 218 00:28:15,32.2125 --> 00:28:15,732.2115 Here it is. 219 00:28:15,792.2115 --> 00:28:24,372.2125 And my daughter didn't see me research it or purchase it or work for it or transact it because we're in this cashless society. 220 00:28:24,412.2125 --> 00:28:44,92.2125 So I think those are some of the cons of kind of the technology and, What's what's going on in the world, but something that my husband and I like to do is when we go on vacation to give the Children a little bit of allowance and say, like, here is your money. 221 00:28:44,777.2125 --> 00:28:49,817.2125 You get to choose to spend this money where you are on this trip. 222 00:28:50,207.2125 --> 00:28:54,827.212 If you don't want to say, if you don't want to use it, you can bring it home with you and put it, in your piggy bank or save it for something else. 223 00:28:54,827.312 --> 00:28:57,557.212 If you want ice cream, you buy ice cream. 224 00:28:57,557.213 --> 00:29:01,507.212 If you want toys, you want candy, whatever it is, you want the sweatshirt. 225 00:29:02,492.213 --> 00:29:11,152.212 But to kind of let them see that there's a cost benefit, right, like if you spend it all the first store, then we're not going to be able to see something in the next store. 226 00:29:11,562.213 --> 00:29:23,162.213 And that delayed gratification of, hey, if we pull our money together, or hey, if we share the ice cream cone, they can kind of see and you see them kind of doing the math and working together. 227 00:29:23,772.213 --> 00:29:25,512.213 And those are the sort of teachable moments. 228 00:29:26,807.213 --> 00:29:56,837.213 That I like to have, and it's not very easy, being a working mom, we're not on vacation often, but when you do have that ability to be really present with them and talk about it and try to make those moments teachable so that there is some sort of financial literacy and Really realizing that there's like a benefit of delayed gratification and we can't just have everything we want whenever we want it and that there we have to give up some things right in order to get other things. 229 00:29:57,307.213 --> 00:29:59,657.212 So yeah, I like to do like kids books too. 230 00:29:59,657.213 --> 00:30:04,7.212 Sometimes there's like children's books when they want to save up for like a special toy. 231 00:30:04,7.312 --> 00:30:10,497.112 I think there's a Pete the Cat version of a book and he's saving up for something special. 232 00:30:10,977.212 --> 00:30:23,267.212 And in the meantime, he wants to go to the movies, or he wants to have hot cocoa, or he wants to, do all these things, but every choice we make, either brings him closer or further away from the item that he's really looking to save. 233 00:30:23,857.212 --> 00:30:30,967.211 And so that's like a really fun, easy way for children to see, yeah, what, we have to think about these decisions. 234 00:30:30,977.211 --> 00:30:38,677.211 Does this bring us closer to, what our prize is, or, what we want to purchase versus further away from meeting our goals. 235 00:30:40,92.211 --> 00:30:43,502.211 I think that that's a great way to get them more engaged. 236 00:30:44,162.211 --> 00:30:46,172.211 So yeah, I'll think about that. 237 00:30:46,542.211 --> 00:31:12,2.211 for our next trip, maybe, one of the things that I encounter with my, in my practice is I, I mentioned advanced directives and people are like, so not everyone, but there are people who are very hesitant to talk about it, almost like they're going to disturb the, the gods, right? If they talk about dying, they're going to die. 238 00:31:14,152.211 --> 00:31:25,62.21 And I almost feel like there's like the similar kind of thing when it comes to learning about your financial situation and what you can do. 239 00:31:25,502.211 --> 00:31:32,632.211 And then, and other factors as well, like, women may not want to, talk about. 240 00:31:33,442.211 --> 00:31:43,172.211 Their financial situation because there may be other layers to their life that they don't wanna necessarily open up about. 241 00:31:43,722.211 --> 00:31:44,202.211 Yeah. 242 00:31:45,352.211 --> 00:32:02,63.211 So how do you, how, how do you overcome that, as and obviously that can be many different situations, but how can we overcome those kind of things? I think it's similar aspect of like, you, you want somebody to have. 243 00:32:02,702.211 --> 00:32:03,652.211 Some oversight. 244 00:32:03,672.211 --> 00:32:17,692.21 If it's not your area of expertise, you want somebody that kind of has that expertise to have the oversight and guide you in a way. 245 00:32:18,462.211 --> 00:32:25,232.21 I always think about like a personal trainer, right? We all know if we want to lose weight, right? You eat less, you work out more. 246 00:32:26,132.211 --> 00:32:28,262.211 Right? Like, those are, those are very common. 247 00:32:28,632.211 --> 00:32:34,382.211 But we don't always do those things, right? And it's like, okay, if we want to save more money, we have to spend less, or we need to earn more. 248 00:32:34,812.211 --> 00:32:42,42.211 But having a professional be your accountability partner, I think, really helps. 249 00:32:42,152.211 --> 00:32:46,262.211 Because you are going to show up consistently, and they're going to help you. 250 00:32:46,302.211 --> 00:32:48,762.211 And it's not something to be ashamed of. 251 00:32:49,462.211 --> 00:32:53,82.211 A lot of times people are like, Oh, I don't want to, I don't want to talk about that. 252 00:32:53,82.211 --> 00:32:54,772.211 I don't want to get financially naked with you. 253 00:32:55,522.211 --> 00:33:03,2.211 And I look at it as like, let's have a full body scan, right? Like, let's make sure we're not missing anything. 254 00:33:03,32.21 --> 00:33:06,842.21 Like we got to go deep in order to make sure that we're okay. 255 00:33:07,332.21 --> 00:33:15,152.211 And so that's really why I like the health and wealth going together and financial wellness being part of your overall wellness because it's part of it. 256 00:33:15,997.211 --> 00:33:19,737.211 The stress that comes with finances. 257 00:33:20,497.211 --> 00:33:25,547.211 is so consuming that it can affect your health. 258 00:33:26,787.211 --> 00:33:31,367.211 And like I said, without health, there is no wealth. 259 00:33:31,577.211 --> 00:33:33,367.211 So I think it's really important. 260 00:33:33,837.211 --> 00:33:39,907.211 And by having a financial ally, someone to hold you accountable, you learn along the way. 261 00:33:40,197.21 --> 00:33:44,137.211 And it's really empowering to say, Hey, okay, I got this. 262 00:33:44,177.211 --> 00:33:46,47.211 Like, thanks for guiding me. 263 00:33:46,517.211 --> 00:33:49,667.211 And, and they get excited about their financial future. 264 00:33:50,307.211 --> 00:33:59,17.211 I think, once you get into it, right, and you can see that, okay, I can increase my assets and I, I can be secure. 265 00:33:59,787.21 --> 00:34:00,847.21 It can be a lot of fun. 266 00:34:02,167.211 --> 00:34:02,277.211 Yeah. 267 00:34:03,227.211 --> 00:34:09,87.211 And, and you don't want to wait, oftentimes people come to me and they're like, okay, so and so passed away. 268 00:34:09,767.211 --> 00:34:11,667.211 Their stuff was all over the place. 269 00:34:11,897.211 --> 00:34:13,897.211 Their wife was left with nothing. 270 00:34:13,897.211 --> 00:34:15,387.211 The kids are confused. 271 00:34:15,447.211 --> 00:34:17,287.211 Nobody knows where anything is. 272 00:34:17,397.211 --> 00:34:20,867.21 I don't want that to happen to me, to my family. 273 00:34:21,687.211 --> 00:34:28,687.11 And I hate, I hate when that happens because it takes like a disaster or, something terrible to happen in order to. 274 00:34:28,877.21 --> 00:34:31,827.21 Kind of push the envelope to make a move. 275 00:34:32,577.21 --> 00:34:58,147.208 But those are the things that really keep people up at night, right? Like if I were to not wake up the next day, like, are, is my spouse, are my children, are all of my documents in the right places? Are things titled properly? Are people going to know where they are? And so that, just getting financially organized, I think, is such a gift that you can give yourself. 276 00:34:58,617.209 --> 00:35:05,27.209 To really really feel good about preparing for the unknown because we don't know. 277 00:35:05,27.209 --> 00:35:27,332.209 And like you said, there's that, that gap of, like, are we going to get divorced? Am I going to get laid off? Do I have to take care of my mother in law or my mom, or, are my kids, am I going to be financially responsible for my kids past college? There's so many unknowns so that if you have a good Handle on your finances the sooner the better. 278 00:35:28,382.209 --> 00:35:29,222.209 Absolutely. 279 00:35:29,362.209 --> 00:35:44,362.208 I just think that having, having an accountability partner and making sure that your financial organization is part of your overall financial health, I think is really important and to prioritize it. 280 00:35:44,912.208 --> 00:35:59,22.209 Just like when you're cleaning out that closet and it's overwhelming and it's messy and you keep looking at it, but when you finally take everything out and throw out all the bad things and put everything back nicely and neatly and folded it feels really good. 281 00:35:59,272.209 --> 00:36:01,472.209 And so that's what I want to help people do. 282 00:36:01,472.209 --> 00:36:05,512.209 I want them to help organize their financial closets and make it fun. 283 00:36:05,962.209 --> 00:36:06,382.209 Yeah. 284 00:36:07,2.209 --> 00:36:16,872.2095 I think, I think, we spend so much time women that is, trying to get into good schools and get good grades and then build careers. 285 00:36:17,552.2095 --> 00:36:28,502.2095 And it's almost like, certain people, certain women were just more focused on those things and not necessarily the financial aspects of it. 286 00:36:28,982.2085 --> 00:36:37,322.209 And, I, I do want to talk about, that in our next podcast about what women can do to leverage that for themselves. 287 00:36:37,322.209 --> 00:36:42,762.209 Like I, I still feel like I'm playing that game even at this age, We don't have the practice, right. 288 00:36:43,92.208 --> 00:36:46,392.2085 Or the confidence at times to say, this is how much I'm worth. 289 00:36:46,502.2075 --> 00:36:48,862.2075 And that's what I'm going to ask for. 290 00:36:49,562.2085 --> 00:36:50,172.2085 Right? Yeah. 291 00:36:51,122.2085 --> 00:36:51,602.2085 Yeah. 292 00:36:51,822.2085 --> 00:37:03,282.2085 There's a big, there's a big worth piece there and there's a big, finding that within yourself and then is so empowering and then lifting others up in the process too. 293 00:37:04,632.2075 --> 00:37:13,667.2085 Do you advise women when it comes to how to negotiate, how to do all that stuff? Yeah, yeah. 294 00:37:13,667.2085 --> 00:37:20,437.2085 A lot of times in the transition, people are kind of going through change and saying, I might want to leave my job or I might, this is not fair. 295 00:37:20,437.2085 --> 00:37:29,607.2085 I'm seeing a coworker that, doesn't have the same credentials that are making more money or I'm doing to, one person left now I'm doing two jobs, but I'm having the same salary. 296 00:37:30,157.2085 --> 00:37:39,807.2095 And so that's part of it, right? Like trying to define your worth and getting the courage and the confidence to say, like, I am worthy. 297 00:37:40,217.2095 --> 00:37:43,487.2095 And this is, what I would like to be paid and why. 298 00:37:44,17.2095 --> 00:37:44,747.2095 So yeah. 299 00:37:45,7.2095 --> 00:37:50,757.2095 Let's save, let's save that for the second one because I think, I think we can talk a lot about that. 300 00:37:51,217.2095 --> 00:37:57,147.2095 Because again, that also is something that I, I see definitely more in my women patients. 301 00:37:57,842.2095 --> 00:38:22,732.2095 Where they're talking about, not to say men don't have this too, but I hear it a lot more from my women patients where they're like, I am doing the job of two or three people and my question is why? And are you getting, compensated for it? And they're afraid to ask because they may not, or they may, they're afraid that they may lose their job. 302 00:38:23,387.2095 --> 00:38:34,207.2085 Yeah, we're asking or sometimes people don't want to go for the next job and fear that they won't be able to have that same work life balance of being a mom and having that flexibility. 303 00:38:34,207.2095 --> 00:38:38,977.2075 And I think a lot of people stay in positions or companies because of that fear. 304 00:38:39,317.2085 --> 00:38:42,157.2085 So kind of, digging deep and. 305 00:38:42,582.2095 --> 00:38:47,162.2095 And seeing and oftentimes when people come to me and say like, Hey, I'm thinking about this job. 306 00:38:47,402.2095 --> 00:38:48,892.2095 This is the offer. 307 00:38:49,642.2095 --> 00:38:52,502.2095 It's not just the salary right that we have to look at. 308 00:38:52,512.2085 --> 00:38:54,2.2095 We have to look at the benefits. 309 00:38:54,2.2095 --> 00:38:56,32.2095 We have to look at your PTO. 310 00:38:56,42.2095 --> 00:38:58,52.2095 We have to look at their 401k match. 311 00:38:58,122.2095 --> 00:39:00,912.2105 We have to look at all of those things. 312 00:39:00,932.2085 --> 00:39:06,592.2095 It's not just the dollar of how much is in your paycheck or what the offering salary is. 313 00:39:06,622.2095 --> 00:39:09,932.2095 So that's important to that I work with with my clients. 314 00:39:10,182.2095 --> 00:39:10,622.2095 Sure. 315 00:39:11,112.2095 --> 00:39:14,392.2095 No, these are all things that, are very important. 316 00:39:14,822.2095 --> 00:39:21,72.2095 So if you can speak to that for our next podcast, that would be good. 317 00:39:21,372.2095 --> 00:39:29,972.209 And, and, a lot of people might wonder why I'm having a financial planner, because again, all of this stuff impacts us in terms of our health. 318 00:39:30,12.209 --> 00:39:35,872.21 And when it's not all aligned, it often causes a lot of stress. 319 00:39:36,522.21 --> 00:39:40,612.21 And people don't necessarily come out right away and tell me this. 320 00:39:40,612.21 --> 00:39:48,72.21 And I'm like, why is your blood pressure all of a sudden 180 over 80, where last time when I saw you, it was normal. 321 00:39:48,772.21 --> 00:39:50,832.21 That's how it manifests. 322 00:39:52,212.209 --> 00:39:54,442.21 And which is obviously not good. 323 00:39:55,332.21 --> 00:40:13,152.21 So these things really take a toll on women and I I do appreciate that you're speaking to this stuff because I think a lot of people can benefit from listening to it, it might motivate them to, get their, their financial situation. 324 00:40:13,637.21 --> 00:40:18,307.21 Into play and they may even reach out to you for you to help them. 325 00:40:18,757.21 --> 00:40:32,257.21 So, yeah, so where can we find you in terms of, your website, your social media, how can my listeners listen? My website is mindfulfinancialpartners. 326 00:40:32,287.21 --> 00:40:32,757.21 com. 327 00:40:33,207.21 --> 00:40:34,907.21 And my contact information will be there. 328 00:40:34,907.21 --> 00:40:36,7.21 I'm on LinkedIn. 329 00:40:36,67.21 --> 00:40:40,567.2105 My name's Melissa Murphy Pavone and I love to talk and connect with people. 330 00:40:40,567.2105 --> 00:40:45,7.21 I offer complimentary kind of consultations just to make sure it's a good fit. 331 00:40:45,107.211 --> 00:40:51,877.211 And if somebody wants somebody in person, I'm happy to recommend another financial planner that's in their area. 332 00:40:53,167.211 --> 00:40:54,407.211 That's fantastic, Melissa. 333 00:40:54,407.211 --> 00:40:57,747.211 Thank you so much for coming on to this podcast. 334 00:40:57,747.211 --> 00:41:11,157.211 I, I really think that this will serve a lot of my female listeners, even my male listeners, we'll include them too, but definitely my female listeners and I look forward to our second podcast in the near future. 335 00:41:11,747.211 --> 00:41:12,337.211 Likewise. 336 00:41:12,357.211 --> 00:41:13,587.211 Thanks so much for having me. 337 00:41:13,587.211 --> 00:41:17,687.211 And don't forget to like, share and review my podcast. 338 00:41:18,237.211 --> 00:41:22,27.211 Remember, it's always ladies first on Soma Says. 339 00:41:22,327.211 --> 00:41:25,987.211 Let's make a difference one conversation at a time.