Passing the Gravy: How Systems Perpetuate Violence Instead of Ending It

She was twelve the first time the bruises should have mattered. The teacher noticed. The nurse filed a report. A caseworker visited the home. But nothing stuck. Each institution touched her life just long enough to shuffle her along, like a plate passed around a crowded table. The bruises faded, the paperwork filed away, and the cycle resumed—because each system acted as though acknowledgment was enough.

By fourteen, the abuse had become exploitation. Older men promised safety, then abused that promise. She disappeared from school, only to be criminalized for truancy. Courts scolded her for not showing up to class, while no one asked why she couldn’t stay there. Police ignored her when she reported assault, but arrested her for curfew violations. Providers looked at her survival sex work and saw delinquency, not desperation. Every system had its turn, and every system passed her off—never fixing, never listening.

This is where the cycle sharpens its teeth: one institution punishes what another ignored. Teachers flag concerns, but courts punish the outcome. Police fail to protect, but probation officers punish the response. Foster care offers instability, then blames her when she ages out without resources. Each handoff creates new trauma, each failure pushes her deeper into harm, and each punishment ensures the next system inherits her with more baggage than before.