June 17, 2024 • 17 mins
Welcome to the ADHD podcast, hosted by Nurse Coach Seth. In this episode, Seth explores a fresh perspective on personal development through Dan Harmon's story circle, a modern adaptation of the hero's journey.
Discover how this storytelling model can provide a roadmap for navigating ADHD, embracing change, and thriving. Seth breaks down the eight steps of the story circle, highlighting how it applies to the ADHD journey from seeking change to achieving goals and personal growth.
Join us as we delve into the significance of stepping outside your comfort zone, embracing chaos, and transforming it into order. Whether you're newly diagnosed or looking to better understand yourself, this episode offers valuable insights to help you thrive with ADHD.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:08):
You're listening to the ADHD podcast, where we dive into the good,
the bad, the ugly, and the spicy of ADHD.
Taking a holistic view from the boardroom to the bedroom, nothing is off limits.
I'm your host, Nurse Coach Seth, and whether you're newly diagnosed or looking
to better understand yourself, I'm here to make the journey of navigating ADHD
a little less messy and help you thrive.
(00:31):
Music.
Hey there, friends, and welcome back to the ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Nurse Coach Seth.
So this may sound like it has nothing to do with ADHD, but I wanted to talk
(00:54):
about the hero's journey.
I mean, I was originally going to talk about that, but I recently had someone.
Kind of tell me that, well, they told me it was outdated.
You know, they told me that it was a good metaphor.
They're like, well, it kind of works, but it doesn't really hit for me. It's kind of outdated.
And I thought about it. I'm like, okay, I get that.
(01:17):
And I really didn't like the fact that I was talking to someone,
especially a client, and I'm like, man, if I'm saying something that really
doesn't hit for them, that's not great, especially if it's something that's
rattling around inside my head.
And that really stuck. So I wanted to find something else that really,
it makes the point, but it's more relevant.
(01:39):
So like I said, that hit for me.
And the truth is, there's actually a better model now than the hero's journey.
And the better model is Dan Harmon's story circle.
So let's talk about that. Let's talk about Dan Harmon's story circle.
I hear you. I promise. I promise I'm going to explain.
(02:01):
I'm going to explain how any of this relates to anything.
And especially if you already know who Dan Harmon is, you're sitting there going,
what the hell is he talking about? Why is he bringing up Dan Harmon?
Give me a chance here. And Dan, if you stumble across this podcast for some
reason and I massacre your concept, please, please come on the podcast.
(02:24):
Let's talk. I would love to have you on. I would love to have you correct me.
I'd love to have a conversation.
So Dan Harmon, if you hear this, let's talk, please. Maybe.
No, I don't think it's going to work.
Anyway, for anyone who is listening to this and doesn't know who Dan Harmon
is, Dan Harmon is the creative force.
(02:44):
Behind the show's community and Rick and Morty.
And he is just an incredibly powerful storyteller.
He's amazing. And he runs a writer's room like no one else, apparently.
So the story circle that he created, it still pulls from the hero's journey.
(03:05):
But the hero's journey is 12 steps.
It's very mythic journey based. It's very much based in Greek mythology and
how those stories played out.
And Dan Harmon's story circle is much more based on human development and human stories.
So the story circle really gives that more honed approach and a honed arc.
(03:31):
And it applies here because if you're listening to this, if you have ADHD,
if you're looking to change, you're on a journey already.
You're looking to create something new.
So hang in there with me. This is going to get interesting.
The story circle is eight steps. The first one's you.
(03:53):
You're already here. So that's it. We got you. There's a need.
So we got you. You got your ADHD PhD, and you want to change it, so there's your need.
And then you're going to go. So that's the journey.
You're here. You're listening to me. You're seeking out change.
(04:14):
Things are already different. And then there's the search, seeking the actual
change, finding, taking, returning, and then the actual change that occurs.
What makes it really interesting, though, is that it breaks things down even further.
Steps one, two, and three, and eight. So you, need, go, and change.
(04:39):
That's where order happens. Where it's just you, where you're kind of thinking
about things, where you're like, maybe I'll start to go out.
Maybe I'll start to look for something different.
And then when you finally bring all those things back and things have finally
changed, that's where you've created, that's where you're either in a state
of order Even if it feels like chaos right now, nothing has actually changed.
(05:01):
You haven't upended anything or you've brought back a new set of tools and skills
and you've returned with order.
Everything else though, steps four through seven, that's where you've just flipped the table.
So that's the time of chaos, but it can be good chaos.
That's why I'm relating it here because just because something is chaotic doesn't mean it's bad.
(05:26):
Why do we care? Why do we care about this writing device, right?
And seriously, it's because you're here. It's because we're talking about it.
It's because it's human. And...
We're creating your story right now. You're creating yours. I'm creating mine.
We're creating these stories together. And right now, this story,
(05:48):
the story that we're creating now while you're seeking out change,
this is the story of your journey with your ADHD.
This is how do you go from where you are now to achieving your goals from making
your dreams into achievable goals, to creating them into reality. That's the story.
(06:14):
So we've got the you. We've got the main character.
If anyone's ever heard of main character syndrome, this is not what we're talking about.
This is totally different. You are the main character in your own story.
And this is your main character's journey with ADHD, seeking change,
(06:34):
seeking the ability to thrive.
Seeking something different. And you need or want to stop struggling with ADHD symptoms, right?
So you have the want to thrive and not feel like you're held back.
And so far, it's an idea. Nothing's actually changed.
So you haven't changed the state of order yet. And now you're seeking change,
(07:00):
maybe, or you're about to.
You haven't taken action yet, but things are shifting.
And you're taking steps. You want something better.
You're still maintaining order. You're still comfortable, but you're getting
comfortable with the idea of things changing.
And now, now you're getting ready to step outside your comfort zone.
(07:24):
Let's take a short break.
Music.
Welcome back from the break. I just keep hearing banging coming through. I apologize.
(07:49):
I've got neighbors that are getting roof work done. We had a major storm that
happened the other day, and apparently their roof did not make it.
So I feel really terrible for them.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if there just keeps being knocking while I'm trying
to record. I'm not sure if that's coming through yet.
(08:10):
So let's get back to this. so the truth is this is your story and it's not just
a story this is where the comfort zone is the comfort zone is where most people
stop because this isn't a story it's not written,
there's not something forcing anyone to change you have to make that choice so,
(08:34):
it's up to you it's up to you what is going to change and a lot of people aren't
ready they're They're not ready to take that leap.
They're not ready to step outside that comfort zone and start finding changes that work.
That searching phase is where things start to get uncomfortable.
(08:55):
If you're still with me here, if you're still listening to this,
you're probably a little bit outside your comfort zone, and that's a good thing.
The truth is, though, this is where the good stuff happens.
Outside your comfort zone is where all the magic happens.
You have to create chaos to bring things back to order. Think about it like
(09:16):
forming diamonds under pressure.
These are diamonds of personal success. This is you creating your own treasure of personal value.
One of the most important things you can do, honestly, when you are on your
ADHD journey is to embrace the process.
You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
(09:38):
Seriously, I'm going to say it again. If you want to move forward,
if you want to really be able to thrive, if you want to make Make this change happen.
You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Everything else is doing the work. Everything else is putting in the effort
(10:00):
because you're going to get out what you put in.
When you are learning the tools, when you're developing the skills,
when you are doing everything you need to do to work on your ADHD,
to understand yourself, to manage the the symptoms, that comes with time,
that comes with repetition, that comes with effort.
(10:22):
But you have to embrace the uncomfortable part of it.
Because without that, without being willing to embrace being uncomfortable,
without being willing to embrace the chaos that you're going to create in that
process, you're just going to go back to everything else.
You're going to go back to the bad habits because you know them,
they're comfortable. Whether you like them or not, it's what you know.
(10:47):
And what you know feels safe, whether you want to get away from it or not.
So you need to embrace the thing that you don't know yet.
You need to be uncomfortable to get comfortable.
And the truth is the process changes you. Once you start it,
even if you want to go backwards, you can't.
(11:08):
You've changed. You've already changed.
And you can't go back to who you were.
Even if you want to give up and go back, you've already put effort in and you
know that you can change.
You know that you can put the work in. You know that there's something else out there.
So now you've entered this state of chaos that even if you try and go backwards.
(11:32):
You can't. It's always going to stay with you.
You're always going to have that thought of like, but I started this journey.
I started moving forward. I started creating change.
And that is going to be something that sticks with you.
So the truth is, the best way out is through. But there's another piece of that.
(11:52):
And this is true in the story circle. This is true in any kind of change.
This is true for any journey.
When you are changing, when you are seeking something, when you want to achieve
goals, when you want to change yourself, there are going to be things that you have to give up.
So there's going to be a question of what are you going to give up? Who are you going to be?
(12:16):
Giving things up isn't necessarily a bad thing. When you decide what you're
going to give up, it doesn't mean you're giving up things that you necessarily like.
It doesn't mean that you're giving up things that you do like.
It doesn't mean that you're giving up the good parts of yourself.
It just means that you have to look at what habits you're changing.
What are you getting around? what parts of yourself and your life are you going
(12:42):
to shift and what are you going to put down,
and it could even be fears you're
going to give up your fears you're going to give up your bad habits you're going
to give up the things that are anchoring you and preventing you from moving
forward these are all things that you may have to give up to achieve your goals it's not so bad right?
(13:06):
That you actually have to give up the things that you wanted to get rid of anyway.
But these are still the things that change you because once you give those things
up, then you're different.
Now you're becoming the new person that you wanted to be. It still doesn't let you go backwards.
What gets really difficult is that as you're changing, other people may want
to drag you backwards because they see you being different.
(13:29):
And that's where it becomes even more chaotic because the truth is you can't
change and stay the same at the same time.
So it really does become a question of what are the changes or sacrifices that
you're going to have to make?
You know, what does it look like.
And that is ultimately a personal experience for everyone. It's not a one-size-fits-all.
(13:53):
And I know. I know that this sounds big, and I know change is hard.
I know that this sounds like something complicated.
But the truth is that if you have ADHD, you are more resilient than you realize.
You have been dealing with change and having to adapt every minute of every day as it is.
(14:17):
You are more equipped to deal with change than you possibly realize.
So I don't expect everyone to have to deal with that, you know,
big level of change, especially not right out of the gate.
You don't have to flip the table on your life in any way, but you do have to
get your head right. There is a mindset piece to this, especially if you want
(14:39):
to be able to move forward.
It can be messy. Doing the work is messy and it can be chaotic.
But honestly, if it's not messy and chaotic, you're not doing it right.
You're not putting in the effort.
You're just kind of half-assing it. And that's not fair to you and whoever you're
working with. It's not about the show.
It's about the effort and getting the results you want.
(15:02):
When I've been whitewater rafting and when I've done expedition canoeing,
there's a term for the people who just kind of put their paddle in and let the
water take it back to make it look like they're doing the work,
but let everyone else do the work for them.
It's called weenie dipping. You look like you're doing the work,
but you're not getting any result. You can't weenie dip your way through change.
(15:26):
After all this, after being uncomfortable, after creating change,
once you have put in all of this effort and fought through and developed the
skills and developed the tools, ultimately, from there...
Then you bring it back to a sense of order because now you've created that change.
(15:48):
Now you are back to where you want to be.
It's all come full circle.
Literally, figuratively, in the literary sense, it all comes around.
That's why the story circle applies here. That's how it applies to the ADHD journey.
That's how it applies to you here.
And I really hope that kind of applying it this way helps it make sense a little
(16:13):
bit more, especially the idea that why I talk about the hero's journey,
why I brought up the idea of the stories of Dan Harmon's story circle.
Now, Dan, I do hope that you do hear this and that you decide to come on the podcast.
But I hope this really helps it hit. I hope this really lets it sink in.
So I will catch you all next time.
(16:34):
Be good. Be kind to yourselves.
You've been listening to the 8DHD podcast with Nurse Coach Seth.
This podcast is brought to you by my website, clarifywellness.coach,
where you can find resources, get your copy of the 8DHD playbook,
and schedule your first call to learn more about coaching.
If you liked what you heard, or just like this episode, make sure to follow
(16:55):
for new episodes and leave a five-star review to help other folks who may be
looking for something similar find this podcast.
If you have topics you'd like to hear covered, or would like me to come be a
speaker at your organization, you can send your emails to 8dhdpod at clarifywellness.coach.
For more resources and coaching, go to clarifywellness.coach.
(17:17):
Music for this podcast comes from upbeat.io.
Remember, be kind to yourself. I'll see you next time.
Music.
(00:08):
You're listening to the ADHD podcast, where we dive into the good,
the bad, the ugly, and the spicy of ADHD.
Taking a holistic view from the boardroom to the bedroom, nothing is off limits.
I'm your host, Nurse Coach Seth, and whether you're newly diagnosed or looking
to better understand yourself, I'm here to make the journey of navigating ADHD
a little less messy and help you thrive.
(00:31):
Music.
Hey there, friends, and welcome back to the ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Nurse Coach Seth.
So this may sound like it has nothing to do with ADHD, but I wanted to talk
(00:54):
about the hero's journey.
I mean, I was originally going to talk about that, but I recently had someone.
Kind of tell me that, well, they told me it was outdated.
You know, they told me that it was a good metaphor.
They're like, well, it kind of works, but it doesn't really hit for me. It's kind of outdated.
And I thought about it. I'm like, okay, I get that.
(01:17):
And I really didn't like the fact that I was talking to someone,
especially a client, and I'm like, man, if I'm saying something that really
doesn't hit for them, that's not great, especially if it's something that's
rattling around inside my head.
And that really stuck. So I wanted to find something else that really,
it makes the point, but it's more relevant.
(01:39):
So like I said, that hit for me.
And the truth is, there's actually a better model now than the hero's journey.
And the better model is Dan Harmon's story circle.
So let's talk about that. Let's talk about Dan Harmon's story circle.
I hear you. I promise. I promise I'm going to explain.
(02:01):
I'm going to explain how any of this relates to anything.
And especially if you already know who Dan Harmon is, you're sitting there going,
what the hell is he talking about? Why is he bringing up Dan Harmon?
Give me a chance here. And Dan, if you stumble across this podcast for some
reason and I massacre your concept, please, please come on the podcast.
(02:24):
Let's talk. I would love to have you on. I would love to have you correct me.
I'd love to have a conversation.
So Dan Harmon, if you hear this, let's talk, please. Maybe.
No, I don't think it's going to work.
Anyway, for anyone who is listening to this and doesn't know who Dan Harmon
is, Dan Harmon is the creative force.
(02:44):
Behind the show's community and Rick and Morty.
And he is just an incredibly powerful storyteller.
He's amazing. And he runs a writer's room like no one else, apparently.
So the story circle that he created, it still pulls from the hero's journey.
(03:05):
But the hero's journey is 12 steps.
It's very mythic journey based. It's very much based in Greek mythology and
how those stories played out.
And Dan Harmon's story circle is much more based on human development and human stories.
So the story circle really gives that more honed approach and a honed arc.
(03:31):
And it applies here because if you're listening to this, if you have ADHD,
if you're looking to change, you're on a journey already.
You're looking to create something new.
So hang in there with me. This is going to get interesting.
The story circle is eight steps. The first one's you.
(03:53):
You're already here. So that's it. We got you. There's a need.
So we got you. You got your ADHD PhD, and you want to change it, so there's your need.
And then you're going to go. So that's the journey.
You're here. You're listening to me. You're seeking out change.
(04:14):
Things are already different. And then there's the search, seeking the actual
change, finding, taking, returning, and then the actual change that occurs.
What makes it really interesting, though, is that it breaks things down even further.
Steps one, two, and three, and eight. So you, need, go, and change.
(04:39):
That's where order happens. Where it's just you, where you're kind of thinking
about things, where you're like, maybe I'll start to go out.
Maybe I'll start to look for something different.
And then when you finally bring all those things back and things have finally
changed, that's where you've created, that's where you're either in a state
of order Even if it feels like chaos right now, nothing has actually changed.
(05:01):
You haven't upended anything or you've brought back a new set of tools and skills
and you've returned with order.
Everything else though, steps four through seven, that's where you've just flipped the table.
So that's the time of chaos, but it can be good chaos.
That's why I'm relating it here because just because something is chaotic doesn't mean it's bad.
(05:26):
Why do we care? Why do we care about this writing device, right?
And seriously, it's because you're here. It's because we're talking about it.
It's because it's human. And...
We're creating your story right now. You're creating yours. I'm creating mine.
We're creating these stories together. And right now, this story,
(05:48):
the story that we're creating now while you're seeking out change,
this is the story of your journey with your ADHD.
This is how do you go from where you are now to achieving your goals from making
your dreams into achievable goals, to creating them into reality. That's the story.
(06:14):
So we've got the you. We've got the main character.
If anyone's ever heard of main character syndrome, this is not what we're talking about.
This is totally different. You are the main character in your own story.
And this is your main character's journey with ADHD, seeking change,
(06:34):
seeking the ability to thrive.
Seeking something different. And you need or want to stop struggling with ADHD symptoms, right?
So you have the want to thrive and not feel like you're held back.
And so far, it's an idea. Nothing's actually changed.
So you haven't changed the state of order yet. And now you're seeking change,
(07:00):
maybe, or you're about to.
You haven't taken action yet, but things are shifting.
And you're taking steps. You want something better.
You're still maintaining order. You're still comfortable, but you're getting
comfortable with the idea of things changing.
And now, now you're getting ready to step outside your comfort zone.
(07:24):
Let's take a short break.
Music.
Welcome back from the break. I just keep hearing banging coming through. I apologize.
(07:49):
I've got neighbors that are getting roof work done. We had a major storm that
happened the other day, and apparently their roof did not make it.
So I feel really terrible for them.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if there just keeps being knocking while I'm trying
to record. I'm not sure if that's coming through yet.
(08:10):
So let's get back to this. so the truth is this is your story and it's not just
a story this is where the comfort zone is the comfort zone is where most people
stop because this isn't a story it's not written,
there's not something forcing anyone to change you have to make that choice so,
(08:34):
it's up to you it's up to you what is going to change and a lot of people aren't
ready they're They're not ready to take that leap.
They're not ready to step outside that comfort zone and start finding changes that work.
That searching phase is where things start to get uncomfortable.
(08:55):
If you're still with me here, if you're still listening to this,
you're probably a little bit outside your comfort zone, and that's a good thing.
The truth is, though, this is where the good stuff happens.
Outside your comfort zone is where all the magic happens.
You have to create chaos to bring things back to order. Think about it like
(09:16):
forming diamonds under pressure.
These are diamonds of personal success. This is you creating your own treasure of personal value.
One of the most important things you can do, honestly, when you are on your
ADHD journey is to embrace the process.
You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
(09:38):
Seriously, I'm going to say it again. If you want to move forward,
if you want to really be able to thrive, if you want to make Make this change happen.
You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Everything else is doing the work. Everything else is putting in the effort
(10:00):
because you're going to get out what you put in.
When you are learning the tools, when you're developing the skills,
when you are doing everything you need to do to work on your ADHD,
to understand yourself, to manage the the symptoms, that comes with time,
that comes with repetition, that comes with effort.
(10:22):
But you have to embrace the uncomfortable part of it.
Because without that, without being willing to embrace being uncomfortable,
without being willing to embrace the chaos that you're going to create in that
process, you're just going to go back to everything else.
You're going to go back to the bad habits because you know them,
they're comfortable. Whether you like them or not, it's what you know.
(10:47):
And what you know feels safe, whether you want to get away from it or not.
So you need to embrace the thing that you don't know yet.
You need to be uncomfortable to get comfortable.
And the truth is the process changes you. Once you start it,
even if you want to go backwards, you can't.
(11:08):
You've changed. You've already changed.
And you can't go back to who you were.
Even if you want to give up and go back, you've already put effort in and you
know that you can change.
You know that you can put the work in. You know that there's something else out there.
So now you've entered this state of chaos that even if you try and go backwards.
(11:32):
You can't. It's always going to stay with you.
You're always going to have that thought of like, but I started this journey.
I started moving forward. I started creating change.
And that is going to be something that sticks with you.
So the truth is, the best way out is through. But there's another piece of that.
(11:52):
And this is true in the story circle. This is true in any kind of change.
This is true for any journey.
When you are changing, when you are seeking something, when you want to achieve
goals, when you want to change yourself, there are going to be things that you have to give up.
So there's going to be a question of what are you going to give up? Who are you going to be?
(12:16):
Giving things up isn't necessarily a bad thing. When you decide what you're
going to give up, it doesn't mean you're giving up things that you necessarily like.
It doesn't mean that you're giving up things that you do like.
It doesn't mean that you're giving up the good parts of yourself.
It just means that you have to look at what habits you're changing.
What are you getting around? what parts of yourself and your life are you going
(12:42):
to shift and what are you going to put down,
and it could even be fears you're
going to give up your fears you're going to give up your bad habits you're going
to give up the things that are anchoring you and preventing you from moving
forward these are all things that you may have to give up to achieve your goals it's not so bad right?
(13:06):
That you actually have to give up the things that you wanted to get rid of anyway.
But these are still the things that change you because once you give those things
up, then you're different.
Now you're becoming the new person that you wanted to be. It still doesn't let you go backwards.
What gets really difficult is that as you're changing, other people may want
to drag you backwards because they see you being different.
(13:29):
And that's where it becomes even more chaotic because the truth is you can't
change and stay the same at the same time.
So it really does become a question of what are the changes or sacrifices that
you're going to have to make?
You know, what does it look like.
And that is ultimately a personal experience for everyone. It's not a one-size-fits-all.
(13:53):
And I know. I know that this sounds big, and I know change is hard.
I know that this sounds like something complicated.
But the truth is that if you have ADHD, you are more resilient than you realize.
You have been dealing with change and having to adapt every minute of every day as it is.
(14:17):
You are more equipped to deal with change than you possibly realize.
So I don't expect everyone to have to deal with that, you know,
big level of change, especially not right out of the gate.
You don't have to flip the table on your life in any way, but you do have to
get your head right. There is a mindset piece to this, especially if you want
(14:39):
to be able to move forward.
It can be messy. Doing the work is messy and it can be chaotic.
But honestly, if it's not messy and chaotic, you're not doing it right.
You're not putting in the effort.
You're just kind of half-assing it. And that's not fair to you and whoever you're
working with. It's not about the show.
It's about the effort and getting the results you want.
(15:02):
When I've been whitewater rafting and when I've done expedition canoeing,
there's a term for the people who just kind of put their paddle in and let the
water take it back to make it look like they're doing the work,
but let everyone else do the work for them.
It's called weenie dipping. You look like you're doing the work,
but you're not getting any result. You can't weenie dip your way through change.
(15:26):
After all this, after being uncomfortable, after creating change,
once you have put in all of this effort and fought through and developed the
skills and developed the tools, ultimately, from there...
Then you bring it back to a sense of order because now you've created that change.
(15:48):
Now you are back to where you want to be.
It's all come full circle.
Literally, figuratively, in the literary sense, it all comes around.
That's why the story circle applies here. That's how it applies to the ADHD journey.
That's how it applies to you here.
And I really hope that kind of applying it this way helps it make sense a little
(16:13):
bit more, especially the idea that why I talk about the hero's journey,
why I brought up the idea of the stories of Dan Harmon's story circle.
Now, Dan, I do hope that you do hear this and that you decide to come on the podcast.
But I hope this really helps it hit. I hope this really lets it sink in.
So I will catch you all next time.
(16:34):
Be good. Be kind to yourselves.
You've been listening to the 8DHD podcast with Nurse Coach Seth.
This podcast is brought to you by my website, clarifywellness.coach,
where you can find resources, get your copy of the 8DHD playbook,
and schedule your first call to learn more about coaching.
If you liked what you heard, or just like this episode, make sure to follow
(16:55):
for new episodes and leave a five-star review to help other folks who may be
looking for something similar find this podcast.
If you have topics you'd like to hear covered, or would like me to come be a
speaker at your organization, you can send your emails to 8dhdpod at clarifywellness.coach.
For more resources and coaching, go to clarifywellness.coach.
(17:17):
Music for this podcast comes from upbeat.io.
Remember, be kind to yourself. I'll see you next time.
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