All Episodes

August 28, 2025 12 mins

Ever catch yourself thinking… “Did I do something wrong?” “They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?” “This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”

 

You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic. You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love 

 

In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.

 

We’ll explore: Personalization... Why you blame yourself when they get distant Negative Filtering... Why your brain zooms in on the “bad parts” and ignores what’s going well Control Fallacy.. That exhausting feeling of needing to fix everything All-or-Nothing Thinking.. The belief that one mistake means the whole thing’s doomed Fortune Telling.. Why you assume the worst is coming, before it even happens

 

These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave 

 

But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them  And when you shift your thoughts, your nervous system starts to settle 

 

This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.

 

Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?

 

 

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship 01:16 01 Personalization 02:03 02 Negative Filtering 02:52 03 Control Fallacy 03:58 P.S. Have you tried therapy but still feeling anxious? 05:16 Coaching vs Therapy 09:23 04 All-or-Nothing Thinking 10:26 05 Fortune Telling

 

 

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

 

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

 

➞ SHOP:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

 

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

 

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

 

 

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

 

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!

24/7 News: The Latest

24/7 News: The Latest

The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.