Ever catch yourself thinking… “Did I do something wrong?” “They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?” “This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”
You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic. You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love
In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.
We’ll explore: Personalization... Why you blame yourself when they get distant Negative Filtering... Why your brain zooms in on the “bad parts” and ignores what’s going well Control Fallacy.. That exhausting feeling of needing to fix everything All-or-Nothing Thinking.. The belief that one mistake means the whole thing’s doomed Fortune Telling.. Why you assume the worst is coming, before it even happens
These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave
But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them And when you shift your thoughts, your nervous system starts to settle
This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.
Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship 01:16 01 Personalization 02:03 02 Negative Filtering 02:52 03 Control Fallacy 03:58 P.S. Have you tried therapy but still feeling anxious? 05:16 Coaching vs Therapy 09:23 04 All-or-Nothing Thinking 10:26 05 Fortune Telling
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
COURSES 👩🏻💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.