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April 15, 2025 14 mins

Have you ever made a mistake? What about a BIG mistake that you don't know how to recover from?

Well all make them but we have a choice on how we allow them to impact us. In this episode I share a few time tested tools that can help you reshape how you manage your mistakes and your mind while you recover. The most important part of making the mistake is dealing with it in a way that maintains integrity, your self-esteem, and your confidence. 

You can turn mistakes into your superpower if you want to! Your choice! 

Email me at heather@hcedwardscoaching.com.

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It’s time to take the first step towards a fulfilling and joyful life. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful! Imagine having deeper connections, feeling less anxiety and overwhelm, gaining clarity, and fully trusting yourself. Picture yourself not just surviving but truly thriving.

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Heather 

 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
When was the last time you made a bigmistake and how did you handle it?
Was it easy for you to recoveror did you fill your time and
your thoughts with self-doubting?
Just go crazy about how youdon't have any self-worth.
And did it impact your confidence?
Well, if it impacted your confidenceand your self-worth, you're not alone.

(00:25):
So many of us struggle,and it often depends on.
What type of mistake we make,but when we make mistakes, all
of us deal with it differently.
The one thing that is important is thatwe're able to recover from mistakes, and
that we're able to rebuild our confidenceand our ability not to make those mistakes
again and not let it impact the rest ofour world and the things that we do in

(00:50):
a way that will create more mistakes.
In this episode, we're gonna explore howto recover from making a big mistake.
How we can silence the self-doubt when wedo, and how we become more confident that
before by using a process to evaluate itand make sure that we correct the mistake.

(01:11):
So we're going to learnactionable strategies that
will create a stronger mindset.
They're gonna help you learn toevaluate the mistake constructively.
Not just evaluate it,but make it work for you.
And how to move forward without adebilitating blow to your confidence.
Whether you struggle with what otherpeople think or battle your harsh

(01:32):
self-criticism, this episode is goingto help empower you to use failures.
For growth.
Welcome to the CrazyConfidence Coach Podcast.
I'm Heather Edwards, a mastercertified coach, and I'm here to
help you build your confidence.
Have you ever wished you had theconfidence to ask for that, raise you
want, or apply for that dream job?

(01:54):
Have you ever wished you couldgo for a big audacious goal?
Like speaking in front of other peopleor walking into a room of really
important people without being scaredto go up to someone and speak to them.
Well, you're in the right place.
Each week I'm gonna share tips andtricks to help you get more comfortable
in your skin, build your self-esteem,and gain unshakeable confidence.

(02:18):
Don't hide in the shadowsanymore if I can do it.
So can you grab a pad of paper andyour favorite pen, and let's get to it.
What is a mistake?
Every single day we have theopportunity to make mistakes.
There are a million ways thatwe can make mistakes and we can
make them with at home, at work.

(02:39):
We can make them in interactionswith friends or family or coworkers.
So there are just a plethora of ways thatwe can get in trouble with mistake making.
When we have a problem processing mistakesor we make a big mistake, it matters.
So what is a mistake?
Let's hear what dictionary.comdefines as a mistake.

(03:01):
It defines it as an error inaction calculation, opinion or
judgment caused by poor reasoning,carelessness, or insufficient knowledge.
What I love about this definitionis it's actually leaving room for.
Opinion and judgment, which weall know are what we think of
something, or we judge the worldbased on our own experiences, right?

(03:25):
The, the definition goes on to say thatit could be caused by poor reasoning,
carelessness, or insufficient knowledge,which all of those poor reasoning.
We all have poor reasoning at times.
The carelessness mistake is usuallywhere we can get caught up in a lot of
shame or feeling bad about something.
But the last one, insufficient knowledge.

(03:47):
The fascinating thing aboutthis is insufficient knowledge
is we just need to learn more.
Right.
So let's talk about how in theworld that we can understand why
we make them, where we make them,and how we can get through it.
The most difficult part of amistake is how we interpret the
mistake, how you think about it,what your thoughts are about it.

(04:08):
Mistakes can leave usfeeling a lot of shame.
Or sometimes we feel blame in the processof a mistake, you can turn on other
people when you make a mistake becauseyou have a panic that happens in your
brain, it's kind of a bad feeling whenyou have to blame other people because
it pits you against those people.
So a mistake can hurt your self-esteem.

(04:28):
Because of your own thoughts, but itcan hurt your self-esteem based on
what you believe other people thinkof you based on what you're thinking
of other people that may be involved.
And if we don't purposely managecorrecting the mistake and what we
think about the mistake, we can.
Absolutely damage our self-esteemand how other peoples perceive us.

(04:49):
So how can we intentionally deal withthe mistake so that we don't hurt our
own confidence, the confidence otherpeople have in us, and our ability
to take bold action in the future?
How do we just recover from a mistake?
Step one, the most importantpart is taking full ownership.
What do I mean by taking full ownership?

(05:10):
Resist the urge to blame other peoplewhen you make a mistake or pull in
other people, when you make a mistake,resist the urge to hide the mistake or.
Be defensive about the mistake and forsure don't fully blame someone else.
If you make a mistake, just own up to it.
Take full ownership.

(05:31):
And when you do this, the greatthing about taking full ownership,
it allows your brain to go to workto figure out how can I correct the
mistake you give yourself power.
In overcoming the mistake, don't makethe mistake of blaming other people
being defensive and not taking ownership.

(05:52):
You'll feel so much better if youjust raise your hand, I did it.
I made the mistake.
I'm going to take action to correct it.
That brings me to the secondstep is just evaluating the
mistake and learning from it.
So what went wrong?
What.
What can you learn from the mistake?
How can you correct the mistake?
And then the most important part of allof it is how can you prevent yourself

(06:13):
from making that mistake in the future?
Step three is simply makingit right or correcting it.
You need to figure out,can you do it on your own?
Will you need assistance?
Create a plan to correct it.
It may be something simple.
You can do it right away.
Without really doing muchother than correcting it.
Or you may need to figure out a plan andexecute a plan to correct the mistake.

(06:36):
Depending on what it is, make sure thatyou communicate what you plan to do
to correct the mistake to anyone who'sinvolved or impacted, I say, should say.
With the mistake itself.
So could it be your boss, yourspouse, a friend, a coworker?
Make sure that you communicate one,that you made the mistake and that
you're taking ownership of it, and thenyou have a plan for how to correct it.

(07:00):
One thing that is really important is ifyou have a mistake that you've made and
you've communicated a plan to correct themistake, oftentimes it also makes sense
to share how you plan to in the future.
Not make the mistake again.
Does that make sense?
So maybe at work it's creating achecklist so you don't miss a step

(07:21):
or you don't mess something up again.
And it's wonderful when you're ableto share how you solve mistakes.
With other people because they'relearning right along with you how
to correct it, how to handle it,and how to move on and move forward.
It's actually a great practice toshare with other people when you
make mistakes, because we're allconsistently, every single day we're

(07:43):
learning not from our, just fromourselves, but from other people too.
The next step, step four isjust simply forgive yourself.
Find yourself compassion inthis process and let go of
the shame that you might have.
Pay attention to whatthoughts you're having.
If you're having thoughtsthat are ruminating or are
you're feeling a lot of shame.
Make sure to write downthe thoughts you have.

(08:04):
And then what I want you to do isreally think about the thoughts that
you're having and are they true?
Like are they based in facts?
When you have a mistake, a bigmistake, and you make a mistake that
other people can see, especially youmight be saying to yourself things
like, Ugh, I always make mistakes.
I always make a full of myself or.

(08:25):
I always mess things up or this is soembarrassing, I'm never going to recover.
Notice how we have allnessstatements like always and never.
Those things are simply not true.
You don't always make mistakes.
You don't always mess up.
Other people will not.
Necessarily look at the mistakeyou make and brand you forever as

(08:47):
someone who is a mistake maker.
Those statements tend to be based inshame and guilt and not very reasonable.
So be aware and get to a place thatwhere you can actually forgive yourself.
The tool that I like to useis writing down my thoughts.
If I'm really not letting somethinggo, I write 'em down and then I

(09:07):
look at it, I'm objective with it.
If you can't be objective with yourown thoughts, when you write 'em
down, play a little game and changethose thoughts into someone else's
thoughts and imagine yourself hearingsomeone else tell you those thoughts
as if they were their thoughts.
Not your own and see if thatchanges how you feel about it.

(09:27):
The other tool I've used before is toact as if I am talking to a 5-year-old.
If a 5-year-old is telling you thesethings, what would you say to them?
It's more about getting your mindset ina place where you can actually manage
your mindset that will help you in growthand success, not in a mindset of being
stuck and shaming yourself and keepingand repeating the things that you do.

(09:50):
Because when you tellyourself, I always, I never.
Magically, you keep messingup, so don't go down that road.
Number five, step five,keep in perspective.
Will this matter in five years?
It may not even matter ina year, a month, or a day.
A lot of times when we make a mistake, weruminate about it and really and truly.

(10:10):
Over time, it isn't going to matter.
So pay attention.
If that is you and you are someonewho is making a huge deal, it's
going to be the end of the world.
Pay attention to that thinking and makesure that you keep it into perspective.
Studies show that making mistakesactually create faster learning.
So if you're in a position where youwant to grow and have more success.

(10:33):
Look at the mistake as alearning and move on from that.
And the greatest lesson in amistake is how you have the ability
and capability of moving on.
You learn from it.
It's amazing when you can sit back andthink, oh, I. Have made this mistake,
but I'll never make that mistake again.
You're learning.
You're never going to make that mistakeagain, or at least you won't make it.

(10:56):
In the same way, make sure that you alsounderstand that your failure is not you.
It isn't who you are,and you get to choose.
Are you going to learn and moveon, or are you going to stay in it
and let it impact you who you are?
It does not have to be an identity.
It can actually just be a circumstancethat you learn from and you move on from.

(11:17):
Other things that are important toremember to surviving mistakes in
life is that it's really good to havepeople around you or surround yourself
with people that are supportive.
So someone you can pick up the phoneand go, oh my goodness, you're not
gonna believe what I did today.
And let them be a sounding board andmaybe even help you brainstorm ways to.

(11:40):
Create a correction to the mistake, orat least process the mindset that you
have or what's going on in your head.
Also, what I want you to do is payattention to all the small wins.
Make sure that's part of your dailyroutine, is that you celebrate small
wins and big wins alike because all thosewins that you have will be important when

(12:03):
you have a mistake, is actually nothing.
You've got 20.
Small and big wins versus one mistake.
Do you see that balance willhave be helpful in your brain
when you have a big mistake?
You can realize that, oh yeah, Ihave a big mistake, but guess what?
I've had all of these really bigwins and small wins along the
last month, day, or hours even.

(12:25):
Thoughts that I willwant to leave you with.
Make sure that you're using yourmistakes as opportunities for growth.
Make sure to keep yourself compassion.
It is imperative for you to recoverand maintain self-assurance and erase
that self-doubt that you might have.
Confidence actually comes fromthe actions that you take and

(12:46):
when you take the time to reflect.
When you actually use all of that tobuild more resilience, confidence doesn't
come from sitting and thinking about it.
It comes from the actions thatyou take to correct it and seeing
the success behind correcting it.
So make sure you, one,acknowledge the mistake.
Make sure that you takefull responsibility for it.

(13:07):
Responsibility.
Then you're going to make surethat you evaluate that mistake.
Make sure that you go back andcorrect it and communicate whatever
co correction you're gonna make.
So that everybody's on the same page.
Step four is just forgiving yourself.
Make sure to forgive yourself.
And then number five, inkeeping it perspective, is it
going to matter in the future?
Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

(13:28):
But either way, just learn from it andmake sure that you understand that you
have, you are empowered, you have theability and capability to learn from
it, but also come out stronger andlearn what you're gonna do in the next.
Time.
If you make a mistake, surroundyourself with really supportive
people and then keep celebratingyour small wins and big wins.

(13:49):
So when you do have a mistake comeabout, you're not devastated about it.
Have a fantastic day.
Don't let those big mistakes crush you.
It's okay.
We all make mistakes.
Every single one of us, youcan recover from them and you
can actually teach others.
You can learn yourself and you canbe better for it in the long run.

(14:10):
Before you leave, don't forget to dropa rating or review for the show, or
better yet, just share it with threeof your friends that you think would
benefit from gaining more confidence.
Thank you so much forchecking out the show.
We come here every single Tuesdaysharing tips and trips for the best
confidence that you can muster up and I.
I have freebies for you at theCrazy confidence coach.com.

(14:33):
If you'd like to, you can sign upthere and they will go directly to your
email and you'll also get my lovelynewsletter that I put out each month,
all about confidence, tips and tricks.
Have a great week.
I'll see you next Tuesday.
I love you big.
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