April 29, 2025 • 12 mins
Unlock the secrets to building confidence and boosting your self-esteem-even when others think you're too much or not enough. In this episode, we dive deep into practical strategies for remaining confident, embracing your authentic self, and overcoming self-doubt. If you've ever struggled with criticism or felt judged for being yourself, this is the episode for you.
Key Topics Covered:
- Why other people's opinions don't define your confidence or self-worth
- Embracing authenticity and being confident in who you are
- How to use feedback from others as fuel for personal growth
- Strategies for self-reflection and redefining your personal identity
- The connection between self-esteem and believing in your own worth
- How to build unshakable confidence when others criticize or judge you
Learn the main reason other people's opinion hurts your confidence. Get tips for reimagining your identity and becoming a more confident version of yourself.
If you need help building confidence or overcoming self-doubt, sign up for a discovery call and let’s create a personalized plan for your confidence journey.Email me at heather@hcedwardscoaching.com.
Grab Your Freebies: The best planner you will ever use! Plan Your Success! Plan Your Success Workbook - A Guide for a Successful 2025
Approach difficult conversations with more confidence, consistency, and intentionality with my tips for Confidence Boosting Tips for Difficult Conversations
Do you desire deep, meaningful relationships? Use this list of thought-provoking questions to engage your loved ones in conversations that move beyond standard answers.
20 Questions to Ask to Increase the Quality of your Relationships 20 Questions to Ask to Increase the Quality of Your Relationships
It’s time to take the first step towards a fulfilling and joyful life. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful! Imagine having deeper connections, feeling less anxiety and overwhelm, gaining clarity, and fully trusting yourself. Picture yourself not just surviving but truly thriving.
I am here with you every step of the way!
Invest in a Coaching Package and change your life forever!
Stay tuned I will be releasing a new confidence building course in the next few months!
XOXO,
Heather
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Have you ever been around .People thatthink you are too much or maybe they think
you are not enough is a common problem.
I think when we interact with a widevariety of people and we all have our
different personalities and we all haveour preferences and do things differently,
we can come into contact with people thatthink we are too much or we're not enough.
(00:25):
We can also think other people arenot enough or they are too much.
So what is a person to do and how dowe remain confident even when other
people have opinions about us thatare negative or aren't, that we meet
up to the expectations of others?
I don't know many people whohave had a life full of everybody
(00:47):
thought they were wonderful.
I guarantee you, you'll get somethingout of this episode if you stick around.
Welcome to the CrazyConfidence Coach Podcast.
I'm Heather Edwards, amaster certified coach.
And I'm here to help youbuild your confidence.
Have you ever wished you had theconfidence to ask for that, raise you
want, or apply for that dream job?
(01:08):
Have you ever wished you could go fora big audacious goal like speaking
in front of other people or walkinginto a room of really important
people without being scared to goup to someone and speak to them?
Well, you're in the right place.
Each week I'm gonna share tips andtricks to help you get more comfortable
in your skin, build your self-esteem,and gain unshakeable confidence.
(01:32):
Don't hide in the shadowsanymore, if I can do it.
So can you.
Grab a pad of paper and yourfavorite pen, and let's get to it.
You are listening to episode 78 andwe're talking about how we handle
it when people think we're too muchor they think we're not enough.
As I was growing up, I heard overand over that I was weird, and I
(01:54):
often heard that I talk too much.
I still hear those things today.
Is it any wonder I have apodcast talking into the air and.
Just talk a lot, if I'm being honest.
It doesn't feel good to have peoplejudge or tell you that you're too much
or that you're not enough, but I'velearned that I don't have to let it
(02:14):
ruin my day, and I certainly don'thave to let it crush my confidence.
I am me.
God made me and he doesn't make accidents.
One of the most important lessonsI've learned is that people can't
make me feel bad if I don't believein what they're saying about me.
Let me explain.
If someone comes up to me and tellsme I have purple hair and I don't have
(02:38):
purple hair, I can easily shrug this off.
Maybe I think they're colorblind, ormaybe they're crazy, or maybe both.
Basically, if you don't believewhat someone is telling you about
you, you don't let it impact you.
When we get in trouble is when wetake what someone is saying about us
(02:58):
and we allow it to, hurt us becausewe believe a little part of it.
So we hear me again.
So lesson number one for you is to learn.
People cannot hurt you with wordsabout you unless you believe
what they're saying about you.
You cannot be hurt by other people'sthoughts about you without believing,
(03:21):
at least on some level whatthey're saying about you is true.
That leaves you with a few choices.
You can take it personally and let ithurt your self-esteem and your confidence.
And what happens with that is thatyou shrink a little and a bit at a
time and then you stop being more.
You stop being that vibrantversion of yourself.
(03:42):
This is what money.
This is what many of ushave done over the years.
We've heard what other people have, thinkabout us, and then we believe it and we
take it as truth or fact, and we forgetthat we have autonomy and that we can
change it if we don't like it, and webecome what other people's believe we are.
(04:05):
Here's what you can do.
You can own the truth of what someoneelse says about you and what they
believe about you and be good with it,or you can make the choice to change it.
You may not mind being weirdor talking too much today.
When people think I'm weird,I take it as a compliment.
Honestly.
I love being authentic and genuineand not conforming to what other
(04:29):
people believe about me and.
Believe that is normal.
You may not mind being weirdor talking too much today.
When people think I'm weird,I take it as a compliment.
Truly, I love being authenticand genuine and not conforming to
what others believed to be normal.
(04:49):
My mom taught me normal is just a settingon the dryer, but it took me almost four
decades to get to that point in my life.
The reality is it's a choice.
You can decide that being too much.
Too little for other people is simply okaywith you regardless of what they believe.
The other option you have is to usethat feedback that you get from other
(05:13):
people and become a version of you.
You are confident in.
The way to do that is to begina journey of self-discovery by
becoming more of what you want to be.
The more time you spend becoming whatyou want to be, the less you care
what other people think about you.
If you feel like you don't know who youare anymore or if you don't know what
(05:37):
you stand for, if you take to hearteverything other people say and do.
To you, it may be a sign for youto get back in touch with who you
really are and who you wanna be.
This part is so fun to me.
Reimagining who you want to beis fun, and it's exciting because
(05:58):
it has so many possibilities.
Literally endlesspossibilities of becoming.
A completely different person than you aretoday or embodying different behaviors and
becoming more of what you want to be It.
It's just super fun.
I've coached clients that have decidedthey're tired of working where they
work and they want a new career.
(06:19):
I've worked with clients that decidethat they fight with their husband too
much and they don't wanna fight anymore.
I've worked with clients that arecomplainers and always look at the
negative side of things, and thenthey just decide they want to look at
the world in a more positive light.
I've worked with teenageclients that fight too much
with their sibling and decided.
They don't wanna do that anymore.
(06:41):
What about you?
Would you change if you could, and howmuch work are you willing to put into it?
How would it feel to be so confident inyourself, so much so that you didn't care
about what other people said about you?
I still get my feelingshurt from time to time.
I've learned that I can choose to be hurt.
Or I can choose to move on, and itdefinitely takes internal reflection.
(07:05):
So when I find myself hurt, when someonethinks I'm too much or not enough, I just
ask myself, why am I being hurt by this?
Do I believe I'm too much or not enough?
And if so, am I willingto do something about it?
If I'm not willing to change something,then I have to decide, am I going to allow
that person to believe what they believewithout it harming me, or am I allowing
(07:29):
it to harm me and kill my confidence?
Here's the problem.
If I allow them to harm me andwhat I think about myself, I'm
giving them the power over me.
I can choose to let them think whatthey're thinking and just move on, or at
least process it and not let it bother me.
The most exciting part of becoming moreaware of your own connection to what other
(07:52):
people believe about you is your abilityto reimagine who you want to become.
We are all in a constantstate of becoming.
Life is changing all the time.
We become someone who works out or maybewe become someone who works out less.
We become a spouse that goes above andbeyond because we love them so much to our
(08:13):
partner, or we become, become a partnerwho doesn't prioritize the relationship.
We become a person who is raisingchildren in phases of life that we have.
Children and then we become childfree and have a different phase of
life where we don't have to worryas much as about our children.
We are always becoming someone.
(08:36):
Who are you becoming and how are youallowing other people to influence you?
Here's a word of caution.
No matter who you are, there willalways be others that believe you're
too much or that you're not enough.
The truth is that people havetheir own set of experiences that
influence their own behavior,and those experiences are what?
(08:58):
Formulates their expectationsof the world and all the people
in it and what they believe.
Behavior to be good or be ha orbe bad or enough or not enough.
Really be careful not to get caught upin what others want you to be because
that's their set of expectations.
Use what other people sayabout you as feedback.
(09:18):
Get that information and thendecide what you want to do with it.
Don't allow it to destroy your confidence.
You can take time to explore who youare, what are your values, and learn
what actions and behaviors embody thatyou, that you want to be, and decide
what are the things that you enjoy doing?
What do you not enjoy doing?
(09:39):
What is your favorite color?
Or what are the things you like to do?
All of those things are what makes up you.
And what makes you enoughor not enough for you?
We don't all like the same things.
We don't all like to talk a lot.
We don't all like crafts.
We don't all like gardeningor coffee and that's okay.
Matter of fact, if you really thinkabout it, the fact that we're not the
(10:01):
same is what makes life super fun andinteresting, and without the differences
that we have, it would be kind of boring.
The other side of the coin ishow are you judging other people?
Do you think about people?
Around you, and if they're too much orthey're not enough, do you know why you
think they're too much or not enough?
(10:23):
Why do you believe that about them?
Most of us are natural judgers.
That's just kind of what we do, but wedo it because it's a survival mechanism.
We size people up.
We decide if they're safe or they'reunsafe, or if they're like us,
or maybe if they're not like us.
Once you decide.
That you are going to not what letother people's judgments impact you.
(10:46):
You're going to realize you buildmore confidence in who you are.
You will find that you care much lessabout what other people think about you.
I would love to know where you are onyour journey, thinking you're too much, or
that you're not enough, or worrying aboutwhat other people are thinking about you.
Email heather@hcedwardscoaching.comand let me know what you think.
(11:08):
What's happening for you?
How can I help you?
I certainly hope you are able togrow with me in this and that you
remain confident even when otherpeople think you're too much or
you're not enough before you leave.
Don't forget to drop a rating orreview for the show, or better
yet, just share it with three ofyour friends that you think would
(11:30):
benefit from gaining more confidence.
Thank you so much forchecking out the show.
We come here every single Tuesdaysharing tips and trips for the best.
Confidence that you can musterup, and I have freebies for you
at the Crazy confidence coach.com.
If you'd like to.
You can sign up there and theywill go directly to your email and
you'll also get my lovely newsletterthat I put out each month, all
(11:52):
about confidence, tips and tricks.
Have a great week.
I'll see you next Tuesday.
Love you big.
Have you ever been around .People thatthink you are too much or maybe they think
you are not enough is a common problem.
I think when we interact with a widevariety of people and we all have our
different personalities and we all haveour preferences and do things differently,
we can come into contact with people thatthink we are too much or we're not enough.
(00:25):
We can also think other people arenot enough or they are too much.
So what is a person to do and how dowe remain confident even when other
people have opinions about us thatare negative or aren't, that we meet
up to the expectations of others?
I don't know many people whohave had a life full of everybody
(00:47):
thought they were wonderful.
I guarantee you, you'll get somethingout of this episode if you stick around.
Welcome to the CrazyConfidence Coach Podcast.
I'm Heather Edwards, amaster certified coach.
And I'm here to help youbuild your confidence.
Have you ever wished you had theconfidence to ask for that, raise you
want, or apply for that dream job?
(01:08):
Have you ever wished you could go fora big audacious goal like speaking
in front of other people or walkinginto a room of really important
people without being scared to goup to someone and speak to them?
Well, you're in the right place.
Each week I'm gonna share tips andtricks to help you get more comfortable
in your skin, build your self-esteem,and gain unshakeable confidence.
(01:32):
Don't hide in the shadowsanymore, if I can do it.
So can you.
Grab a pad of paper and yourfavorite pen, and let's get to it.
You are listening to episode 78 andwe're talking about how we handle
it when people think we're too muchor they think we're not enough.
As I was growing up, I heard overand over that I was weird, and I
(01:54):
often heard that I talk too much.
I still hear those things today.
Is it any wonder I have apodcast talking into the air and.
Just talk a lot, if I'm being honest.
It doesn't feel good to have peoplejudge or tell you that you're too much
or that you're not enough, but I'velearned that I don't have to let it
(02:14):
ruin my day, and I certainly don'thave to let it crush my confidence.
I am me.
God made me and he doesn't make accidents.
One of the most important lessonsI've learned is that people can't
make me feel bad if I don't believein what they're saying about me.
Let me explain.
If someone comes up to me and tellsme I have purple hair and I don't have
(02:38):
purple hair, I can easily shrug this off.
Maybe I think they're colorblind, ormaybe they're crazy, or maybe both.
Basically, if you don't believewhat someone is telling you about
you, you don't let it impact you.
When we get in trouble is when wetake what someone is saying about us
(02:58):
and we allow it to, hurt us becausewe believe a little part of it.
So we hear me again.
So lesson number one for you is to learn.
People cannot hurt you with wordsabout you unless you believe
what they're saying about you.
You cannot be hurt by other people'sthoughts about you without believing,
(03:21):
at least on some level whatthey're saying about you is true.
That leaves you with a few choices.
You can take it personally and let ithurt your self-esteem and your confidence.
And what happens with that is thatyou shrink a little and a bit at a
time and then you stop being more.
You stop being that vibrantversion of yourself.
(03:42):
This is what money.
This is what many of ushave done over the years.
We've heard what other people have, thinkabout us, and then we believe it and we
take it as truth or fact, and we forgetthat we have autonomy and that we can
change it if we don't like it, and webecome what other people's believe we are.
(04:05):
Here's what you can do.
You can own the truth of what someoneelse says about you and what they
believe about you and be good with it,or you can make the choice to change it.
You may not mind being weirdor talking too much today.
When people think I'm weird,I take it as a compliment.
Honestly.
I love being authentic and genuineand not conforming to what other
(04:29):
people believe about me and.
Believe that is normal.
You may not mind being weirdor talking too much today.
When people think I'm weird,I take it as a compliment.
Truly, I love being authenticand genuine and not conforming to
what others believed to be normal.
(04:49):
My mom taught me normal is just a settingon the dryer, but it took me almost four
decades to get to that point in my life.
The reality is it's a choice.
You can decide that being too much.
Too little for other people is simply okaywith you regardless of what they believe.
The other option you have is to usethat feedback that you get from other
(05:13):
people and become a version of you.
You are confident in.
The way to do that is to begina journey of self-discovery by
becoming more of what you want to be.
The more time you spend becoming whatyou want to be, the less you care
what other people think about you.
If you feel like you don't know who youare anymore or if you don't know what
(05:37):
you stand for, if you take to hearteverything other people say and do.
To you, it may be a sign for youto get back in touch with who you
really are and who you wanna be.
This part is so fun to me.
Reimagining who you want to beis fun, and it's exciting because
(05:58):
it has so many possibilities.
Literally endlesspossibilities of becoming.
A completely different person than you aretoday or embodying different behaviors and
becoming more of what you want to be It.
It's just super fun.
I've coached clients that have decidedthey're tired of working where they
work and they want a new career.
(06:19):
I've worked with clients that decidethat they fight with their husband too
much and they don't wanna fight anymore.
I've worked with clients that arecomplainers and always look at the
negative side of things, and thenthey just decide they want to look at
the world in a more positive light.
I've worked with teenageclients that fight too much
with their sibling and decided.
They don't wanna do that anymore.
(06:41):
What about you?
Would you change if you could, and howmuch work are you willing to put into it?
How would it feel to be so confident inyourself, so much so that you didn't care
about what other people said about you?
I still get my feelingshurt from time to time.
I've learned that I can choose to be hurt.
Or I can choose to move on, and itdefinitely takes internal reflection.
(07:05):
So when I find myself hurt, when someonethinks I'm too much or not enough, I just
ask myself, why am I being hurt by this?
Do I believe I'm too much or not enough?
And if so, am I willingto do something about it?
If I'm not willing to change something,then I have to decide, am I going to allow
that person to believe what they believewithout it harming me, or am I allowing
(07:29):
it to harm me and kill my confidence?
Here's the problem.
If I allow them to harm me andwhat I think about myself, I'm
giving them the power over me.
I can choose to let them think whatthey're thinking and just move on, or at
least process it and not let it bother me.
The most exciting part of becoming moreaware of your own connection to what other
(07:52):
people believe about you is your abilityto reimagine who you want to become.
We are all in a constantstate of becoming.
Life is changing all the time.
We become someone who works out or maybewe become someone who works out less.
We become a spouse that goes above andbeyond because we love them so much to our
(08:13):
partner, or we become, become a partnerwho doesn't prioritize the relationship.
We become a person who is raisingchildren in phases of life that we have.
Children and then we become childfree and have a different phase of
life where we don't have to worryas much as about our children.
We are always becoming someone.
(08:36):
Who are you becoming and how are youallowing other people to influence you?
Here's a word of caution.
No matter who you are, there willalways be others that believe you're
too much or that you're not enough.
The truth is that people havetheir own set of experiences that
influence their own behavior,and those experiences are what?
(08:58):
Formulates their expectationsof the world and all the people
in it and what they believe.
Behavior to be good or be ha orbe bad or enough or not enough.
Really be careful not to get caught upin what others want you to be because
that's their set of expectations.
Use what other people sayabout you as feedback.
(09:18):
Get that information and thendecide what you want to do with it.
Don't allow it to destroy your confidence.
You can take time to explore who youare, what are your values, and learn
what actions and behaviors embody thatyou, that you want to be, and decide
what are the things that you enjoy doing?
What do you not enjoy doing?
(09:39):
What is your favorite color?
Or what are the things you like to do?
All of those things are what makes up you.
And what makes you enoughor not enough for you?
We don't all like the same things.
We don't all like to talk a lot.
We don't all like crafts.
We don't all like gardeningor coffee and that's okay.
Matter of fact, if you really thinkabout it, the fact that we're not the
(10:01):
same is what makes life super fun andinteresting, and without the differences
that we have, it would be kind of boring.
The other side of the coin ishow are you judging other people?
Do you think about people?
Around you, and if they're too much orthey're not enough, do you know why you
think they're too much or not enough?
(10:23):
Why do you believe that about them?
Most of us are natural judgers.
That's just kind of what we do, but wedo it because it's a survival mechanism.
We size people up.
We decide if they're safe or they'reunsafe, or if they're like us,
or maybe if they're not like us.
Once you decide.
That you are going to not what letother people's judgments impact you.
(10:46):
You're going to realize you buildmore confidence in who you are.
You will find that you care much lessabout what other people think about you.
I would love to know where you are onyour journey, thinking you're too much, or
that you're not enough, or worrying aboutwhat other people are thinking about you.
Email heather@hcedwardscoaching.comand let me know what you think.
(11:08):
What's happening for you?
How can I help you?
I certainly hope you are able togrow with me in this and that you
remain confident even when otherpeople think you're too much or
you're not enough before you leave.
Don't forget to drop a rating orreview for the show, or better
yet, just share it with three ofyour friends that you think would
(11:30):
benefit from gaining more confidence.
Thank you so much forchecking out the show.
We come here every single Tuesdaysharing tips and trips for the best.
Confidence that you can musterup, and I have freebies for you
at the Crazy confidence coach.com.
If you'd like to.
You can sign up there and theywill go directly to your email and
you'll also get my lovely newsletterthat I put out each month, all
(11:52):
about confidence, tips and tricks.
Have a great week.
I'll see you next Tuesday.
Love you big.
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