256 💔 Healing After Loss: Theresa Bruno on the Power of Sharing Your Story

In this deeply moving episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, host Wendy Valentine welcomes the remarkable Theresa Bruno. Theresa is a renowned bespoke jewelry designer turned podcast host of Soul Talks. Her journey of transformation is a testament to resilience, courage, and the power of sharing one’s story.

 

Theresa opens up about her darkest moments—losing her husband to suicide and her business to devastating fraud—and how she turned unimaginable pain into purpose. With honesty and vulnerability, Theresa shares how she found healing through gratitude, connection, and redefining her life. She reveals tools and practices that helped her climb out of grief, including a defiant gratitude practice and the transformative power of vulnerability.

 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✨ How sharing your story lessens the weight of pain

✨ Navigating grief and finding resilience after unimaginable loss

✨ The healing power of gratitude and acceptance

✨ Practical tools to move through fear, isolation, and shame

✨ How to listen to your soul and embrace your spiritual journey

 

Whether you’re navigating your own challenges or seeking inspiration to support others, this episode is a powerful reminder that it’s okay to not be okay—and that healing is always possible.

 

Episode Promotions:

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Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it! ❤️

 

👉 Connect with Theresa

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcCej9zUq5bty-ko9yfmoPQ Instagram: @TheSoulTalks.podcast https://www.instagram.com/thesoultalks.podcast/ Tiktok: @TheSoulTalks.podcast 
for your listeners to remember that
sometimes all the gunk we feel that comes to the

(00:20):
surface isn't what we're experiencing today.

>> Wendy Valentine (00:23):
Hey, midlifers. Welcome to the Midlife Makeover
Show. Are you ready to break free from your
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(00:46):
I too was hit by midlife like a freight train.
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in my comfort zone. Until I found a little

(01:06):
secret. The freedom to live my life
my way. In this podcast, you will
learn how to achieve a vibrant midlife mind and
body, how to create solid relationships through
love and loss, and how to create an
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(01:30):
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mindset and release what's holding you back.
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Trust me, midlife is your time to shine
and I can't wait to help you get there.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your host,

(02:37):
Wendy Valentine. And today I am
beyond thrilled to welcome the inspiring
Teresa Bruno to the show. Teresa is a
renowned bespoke jewelry designer who whose
creations have adorned the likes of Oprah.
Hey, that's My bestie, Julia Roberts, and
even Michelle Obama. Uh, but her story
goes far beyond sparkling jewels and

(02:59):
red carpets. After facing
unimaginable loss with the death of her husband
and the collapse of her business, Teresa has
risen stronger than ever,
transforming her pain into purpose.
Oh, yeah. Now, as the host
of the Soul Talks podcast,
Teresa uses her voice to shed light on life's

(03:21):
darkest moments and the incredible healing power of
gratitude, acceptance, and connection.
Her journey is a powerful reminder that we can all
rewrite our stories. Oh, yes, definitely.
No matter the challenges we face, get
ready for an uplifting conversation that will inspire
you to embrace vulnerability, find resilience,

(03:41):
and live your truth. Please join
me in welcoming the amazing Teresa
Bruno to the show.

>> Theresa Bruno (03:52):
I love that intro. Can you just do that for me every
single day? At the beginning of the day?

>> Wendy Valentine (03:57):
I've heard people say. They're like, can you just record that? And
I'll just, like, play it on my phone in the morning.

>> Theresa Bruno (04:02):
Yeah, uh, that's just. That's a shot of coffee, for
sure. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you for
all the amazing good you do in the world, encouraging
women to, you know, take risks, to have
courage, to remake themselves, no matter what they've
been through. So thank you. I'm, um.

>> Wendy Valentine (04:18):
Yeah, thank you for being here and, you know what? I
mean, we. We talked a lot before hitting record, as always.
But, you know, one thing I know,
sharing my own story, it's very
vulnerable. You, like, feel just so naked out in the world,
like, oh, my gosh. Uh, sharing your story. What are people going to
say? What are they going to think? So,

(04:39):
first of all, thank you for sharing your story and
being so brave to do that, but I would
love to hear more of. Sounds odd
to say. I love to hear more of your dark story,
but that's where the juicy stuff is, right?

>> Theresa Bruno (04:54):
That's right.

>> Wendy Valentine (04:55):
Yeah. Take us back to.
I, um, would say, probably, I would guess, is that really
that dark moment in your life of losing your husband and
losing your business?

>> Theresa Bruno (05:06):
Yeah. And they all. And it came all at once, which,
you know, sometimes life does that.

>> Wendy Valentine (05:11):
Yep.

>> Theresa Bruno (05:11):
Um, and to your point, and I'll dive into that. But
to your listeners, I'd want to say I'm a really
private person. I've always been extraordinarily
private. And, um, it was
trying to make sense of the tragedies that happened to
me that where I went, okay, you
know, I can be brave. I can be vulnerable enough
to say there's probably somebody

(05:34):
else going through a lot of grief and Sorrow, who could
benefit from maybe just a few of the tools I've
learned along the way. But what I found
was the minute I started sharing what had
happened to me and sharing, you know, as vulnerably as
I could without being in a million pieces on the floor in front of everybody,
which I do that a lot. Anyway, um, you

(05:55):
know, when we share our pain, when we
really can get vulnerable, be honest about our
sorrow, what we've been through, it's as
though the universe takes pieces of the pain and just
kind of takes it away from you. Because sharing our
pain lessens its power. And I watch it
happen every single time.
So, um, that's a first survival tool that I would put

(06:18):
out there to your listeners. To say, no matter what you're going through,
and everybody's going through something that
hurts. Exactly. Some
loss, you know, just
big self esteem issues. Whatever it is, everybody's
in some place, whether they admit it or not,
that isn't the lightest of
places. So, um, friends, find

(06:39):
family you can trust and share.
Share it will lessen the pain.

>> Wendy Valentine (06:46):
Yeah, I totally agree with you.
Yeah. Because I mean, if you think about that, all of those, those
thoughts and feelings, the emotions that swirl
around with that dark energy is if you
keep that within you, that's harming you. And
the more that you can share that and get that energy
out, the, uh, better you will
be. I mean, no matter. Like I, I might think back

(07:08):
like my, my Aunt Annie was the best sounding
board on the planet. And sometimes it's all you
need. You just need someone to sit there and go, uh huh, huh,
huh, uh-huh huh, uh-huh. You know, even if they're not offering
advice or anything, they're just listening and
absorbing and not judging you. They're just
like, okay, get it out, get it out. And it feels so good.

(07:29):
So. Yeah, you're so right on that.

>> Theresa Bruno (07:30):
Yeah. I've noticed in my journey along the way
now I have people come to me all the time who want
to share their pain, to want to tell me their story. And you
know, they know that I've kind of been through the
unimaginable in tragedy and I've survived
it. So it's like, it's like, um, I'm a
compatriot along the journey with them
and exactly as you said, Wendy,

(07:53):
that they don't need my advice, they don't
need an answer. They need me to walk
alongside them in the sorrow.

>> Wendy Valentine (08:00):
Yeah. And to know that it's okay,
no matter what it is that you have gone through,
are going through and what you will go through.
It's okay. It's, I mean I always say like we're,
we're human beings being human, right? Like this is part
of life and even the shitty parts, it's
part of life.

>> Theresa Bruno (08:18):
And I never thought my life
would go this far. You know, I didn't think it could
go down that far. Um,
the coming back and where I am now is pretty joyful. But
I'll start at the Nexus you asked me
about. So I had just this crazy
wild ride in the jewelry business of
being completely self taught and going from

(08:41):
knowing nothing to being on kind of the COVID of
almost every major fashion mag and having lots of stars wear the
jewelry and Mrs. Obama naming me as one of her favorite American
designers. And I had had
a very successful, fairly large marketing
business and still had it. So I was at that point
running two businesses at one time.

(09:01):
Didn't know anything about running the jewelry business. Just had lots of
ideas for designs and it turned out people liked them
basically. Um, the long and the short of it, it was
after about, I think it's 13, 14
years. Um, I had a terrible case
of fraud that was going on underneath my nose, had
been for about two years and it was so
egregious, so vast in the business

(09:23):
that I could have chosen to bankrupt and didn't want to do
that. Um, I could pay
back all the fraudulent credit cards and all the things that had been
opened in my name and pay back all the bills that hadn't been
paid but covered over. Um,
and the only way to do that was to close the business
and just payback model. It
was so heartbreaking and I,

(09:47):
this was a real character journey for me.
It uh, just I, I took on so much
shame with it. I took on shame as a woman
because as, as a woman in our generation,
we've had so much pressure about success in
business, entrepreneurial success. Can we do it?
You know, are we good enough? And
the fact that I didn't see that fraud

(10:09):
happening, I was, I
was so ashamed of that. I was ashamed to have to tell all
the stores, every Neiman Marcus and Sachs
and every small boutique that had believed in me. You know,
it was so shameful to have to say I didn't make it, I've
got to close my doors. Um, I hated
it for clients who had been so faithful for

(10:29):
the, you know, the employees who walked alongside. So I was
coming know I had just shuttered the doors
and matter of fact we, we had two, uh,
freestanding boutiques one in Houston and one Birmingham, Alabama.
And the rest of it, you know, was in other stores.
We were just closing all of that up and my
husband, um, was helping me do all of

(10:49):
that. And um, Covid
hit in March of
2020 and he uh. Just
one month after that, my husband took his life.

>> Wendy Valentine (11:00):
Oh God.

>> Theresa Bruno (11:02):
So I had been, I was carrying guilt and
shame over a business loss, which is
nothing compared to the loss of the husband of
a lifetime, father of two kids. And I
had never, it just had never gone
between my ears that that could happen to us as a
family. Clearly. Then I just added

(11:22):
on my shame and guilt going, why didn't I see it?
I knew he was down depressed, but
it would never have thought he would have taken his
life. So you know, my, what I
came out of that with was a. I, I had a lot of work to
do. I had a whole lot of work to
begin to climb out of. Um,

(11:42):
just tremendous tragedy,
grief, you know, just
boundless, earth shattering grief,
um, sorrow, you know, And I
don't sugarcoat that. Um, I'm
writing a book like you and um, will
be on the shelves in the summer. Um, called He's

(12:02):
Not Coming Back. It's a tragedy for
sorrow and grief into courage and
gratitude. But I think it's important
for any of us who have lost, especially to suicide, because
not many people want to talk about it, um,
to be pretty honest, as honest as we can be
about it, kind of shatters and
betrays everything you ever thought you knew as your

(12:24):
ground.

>> Wendy Valentine (12:25):
Mhm.

>> Theresa Bruno (12:26):
And. And then I was carrying the loss of the business too, which
is minimal comparatively.
But I had, it was an addict. It was like if you watch
football, um, my kids watch college football all the time. So it
was like, you know, an add on penalty as they would say.
But. So that's, that's.

>> Wendy Valentine (12:44):
How did, how did you deal with the,
the what ifs that popped up? Whether
from. And what. What were some of those what
if questions that you had when you were losing the
business and then losing your
husband? Like what if,
what if I had done this? Or what if I had not done that?

>> Theresa Bruno (13:04):
I was so mad at myself with the business.
Um, and this was the m. My most key,
most trusted employee. And um,
that tends to be the one who can get inside your business
and take advantage of you.
I, I was furious that I had
not seen what was happening and, and

(13:25):
you know, that I, I think
I was running all the time, I was traveling
all the time. I was running two businesses.
Um, and I wasn't
Maybe as present to hear and
see what was going on. So it was really mad at myself.
Hm. Um, and disappointed in myself coming

(13:46):
out of that with James. The what
ifs, oh, gosh,
they were stark and they were rough and it's. It is
what you can't. I. What you
can't help but do to yourself. And I now know, five years
later, with all the survivors I've talked to,
you know, it is the thing we do, but it's kind of the worst thing
we can do. You know, what if I had just noticed

(14:08):
what he was going through that day? What if I had realized that he was more
depressed than. Than what I thought? What, what if I
had been home? Or you just whatever
that. You just ask yourself a million what
ifs. Yeah, it doesn't do any
good. They're unanswerable.
Um, it didn't happen

(14:29):
early or fast for me. My climate. I say that I did absolutely
everything wrong in grief. I sat on
the sofa for about two years and just
didn't quite.

>> Wendy Valentine (14:39):
But sometimes that's okay, you know what I
mean? Like, I always feel like, is there a right
way to grieve? You know what I mean? Like.
And actually the fact that you grieved
was the right thing.

>> Theresa Bruno (14:52):
There is no right way. If you. And I say people all
the time, you know, if you need to sleep, sleep.

>> Wendy Valentine (14:58):
Don't.

>> Theresa Bruno (14:58):
Don't let people tell you to get up. If you need to eat,
eat everything you want to eat, or if you need to not eat,
or if you need to just sob and sob and sob, which is what I did a
lot of.

>> Wendy Valentine (15:08):
Mhm.

>> Theresa Bruno (15:08):
Just let the body do what the body needs to
do to express something that
is not anything you've ever named
before when you're going through that kind of grief.
Um, but one of the things that happened
for me, I'm not gonna at all sugarcoat it. It
wasn't early. Um, but
you try to find things to cling to. Just the

(15:31):
tiniest little thing you try to find,
um, to cling to that just, you know, you go, oh, I
can get out of the bed today kind of thing. Um,
I'm very, very attached to
nature. And so
windows, um, in, in the bedroom.
Drapes. If I would just pull open the
drapes and say, you know, as Maya Angelou

(15:54):
used to say, I'm thankful for this day. I haven't seen this one
before. You know, I love that.

>> Wendy Valentine (15:59):
Yes, I love. Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (16:00):
Um, but I, you know, just the simple
act of opening the drapes became a ritual
of. There's Something active I can
do just. That's positive. That's not just sitting
in this grief. And then that
turned into. And I come at
gratitude kind of fast backwards, if you
will. Um, my gratitude became

(16:22):
kind of an act of defiance. It was
like, I'm going to figure this out so
grief doesn't eat me whole. And so I
would be grateful for the tiniest thing, you know, a rose blooming out
the window, a bird that landed. I wasn't thankful.
I. I wasn't thankful for any big thing that
I could think of other than my kids being with me

(16:43):
and healthy. But gratitude,
as you know, it gave me kind of the courage to
run up against the grief and go, no, I'm not
going to take me with you. No. And
so a gra. Uh, gratitude practice that was born in
defiance now, five years
later, is something that I lean so deeply into.
And I don't mean the steaming mug of coffee with the sunshine on it

(17:05):
and. Right. Three things like that. You
know, I mean, you
know, gratitude that is born of pain and
suffering and leaning hard
into, um,
a true gratefulness for this life.

>> Wendy Valentine (17:22):
M. Would you say was that your dark night of the soul
during that time?

>> Theresa Bruno (17:26):
100%. I. I just
never knew. I never knew
that in this lifetime we had to face something so
hard. M. And I'm. I
would. I don't know this because it's my
tragedy, you know, but I would think
when you lose someone to suicide, it does something to you
that's different than losing someone to a

(17:49):
horrible death, cancer, whatever. I would think
losing a child would, um,
more than.

>> Wendy Valentine (17:56):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (17:57):
Parallel what I've been through. So. Yeah, I definitely put
that out there.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:01):
Yeah. And speaking of children, I'm sure for you,
it's like, as a mother, then you're holding
their pain, their grief, you're worried
about them, but then you're trying to, like, put the oxygen mask
on yourself first, and it's this
toggle between of, uh, who to take
care of and. So how did you. How did you handle all of

(18:21):
that?

>> Theresa Bruno (18:23):
Well, that's one of the beautiful things, is that
children. If you have children and you go through great
grief as a mother, for me,
um, I wanted. I knew the minute.
And this is a little bit, um, rough to say,
but I found my husband, and I
knew the second that I found him. You know,
somehow there's a strength that happens

(18:44):
really fast, and then that completely goes away later.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:47):
Yeah. Like, the fight or flight kicks in, and then it's.

>> Theresa Bruno (18:50):
And so I'm standing there going, okay, I have these two
boys and they're both in their early 20s.
And every single step
I take from here forward will be
remembered for the rest of their lives. Who hears about
it first, whether I'm completely falling apart or
if I have composure, who I call how
I handle this is. Is what they

(19:13):
will take forward forever. And I don't know
how that was purely grace that I
could think that way in the moment. And so,
so many things were about the boys. It was,
you know, I, I would come out of my bedroom and make coffee
and be there for them and then
completely fall apart later. But the kids

(19:33):
gave me a reason, you know, and I
knew so go. However I went was how they were
going to go. So if I could not get it together, if
I was just a complete basket case
with no ability to move forward,
that would give them license to quit on life.
M. And that's

(19:54):
exactly what I didn't want. So
um, they gave me, they gave me
purpose.

>> Wendy Valentine (20:01):
Mhm. Isn't that great? I was
just thinking too, like I was telling someone the other day,
sometimes the best way that we can teach,
whether it's our children or friends or our family,
is by example. Not so much
the words that we will like, bits of advice that we would
give. So to me that's really

(20:22):
what you did is like teaching by example.
Okay, yes, we've had something
tragic happen to us, but we got
to pick up, we got to still go make our cup of coffee and we still
gotta like, keep moving throughout the day. Yes, you
grieve and go
to work.

>> Theresa Bruno (20:40):
Yeah, keep going. The other
thing, my um, my
husband was just the
kindest man you'd probably ever make
Italian. And he had just
infused, infused and imbued our lives
with, you know, the spirit of goodness and
kindness and care for others, acts of service.

(21:01):
That's how he was wired.
And so it was kind of easy to
pull from his life and say, hey guys, you
know, we didn't any of us know what dad was going
through, but we are going to keep him
alive. You know, we're going to keep him alive
in doing as he would do if
this happened to him. And so even though

(21:24):
it was hard, even at the funeral, you know, it was,
it was also hard. But we learned to tell the funny stories.
He was a funny man with a great sense of humor. He was
always doing goofy things. And so one of the ways that
was healing, bittersweet but very
healing, was we would sit around the table
with their girlfriends and me and we would just tell the
craziest stories about their dad. And it

(21:47):
became, yeah, you might go off and cry a minute,
but it shifted it, you know, so
that he wasn't gone. I didn't want
them to feel like, well, you never can
speak his name again. It's too hard or.

>> Wendy Valentine (22:01):
Right.

>> Theresa Bruno (22:02):
You know, and, and learning to live. And that's,
that's one of the biggest things I learned. You know,
in, uh, in America. I don't think it's this
way. Certainly in Eastern cultures it's not. But
we don't have verbiage
for death. We don't have language.
We don't give anybody time to grieve. You know, most you

(22:22):
get is two weeks off from work and then you better be back and, oh, are you good?
Are you over? Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (22:26):
As your email inbox fills up. Right, right.

>> Theresa Bruno (22:31):
So the thing I learned, and, and I think the
boys helped me a lot with this too, was
there's no time frame on grief. I'm still grieving five
years later. I'll probably be grieving for the rest of my life.
But it's, uh, it's like two cups. You
know, you hold grief in this one cup
in your hand and you learn to live with it and to sleep

(22:51):
with it and to drink it and to, yeah, to bathe with it.
It doesn't go away. But you do have
a choice about what's in the other hand.

>> Wendy Valentine (22:59):
Yes.

>> Theresa Bruno (23:00):
What are you balancing? Are you balancing?
Okay, this is
absolutely horrible.
But I, I, I want to come out of it. I
want to figure this out. I want to
figure out what's next in all this. Um,
and so you learn to hold different things as your
journey progresses.

(23:22):
Courage. Mhm. You know, you learn where to
turn fear. Because fear is so much a part of
grief. Fear cripples.

>> Wendy Valentine (23:29):
Oh gosh. I mean, fear
really just explodes during
grief. Like fears that you don't
even know that you had.

>> Theresa Bruno (23:40):
Totally like.

>> Wendy Valentine (23:41):
And, uh, you can create new ones because of the,
the tragedy, right?

>> Theresa Bruno (23:46):
Oh, absolutely. I mean, I became a different
person in it. I used to
kind of walk around a little cocky and go, yeah, I'm sort of fearless.
I'll try anything. You know,
um, after James died and I don't know why
this, I, um, I couldn't
even go in the grocery store. I think it was fear of
seeing people and not wanting to be asked what

(24:08):
happened? How could this have happened? What didn't? You know? You
know, because those are the things people would say.
Um, but I became paralyzed. I remember pulling up
to a publix and really needed Just
a little bit of food and I.
I sat in the car and I mean, there I
could not go in. Then I drove all around town

(24:28):
and pulled in various different parking lots
of other publixes and thought, well, maybe I'll go
in places where I don't know anybody. There's no way I'll run
into anybody. But I still was paralyzed, you
know, and it was unnatural feeling for
me, um, because I had lived my life pretty
big, and I became very small for a

(24:49):
while. M. The fear. The fear did that.
So learning what to do with that fear
is really important too.

>> Wendy Valentine (24:57):
Yeah. It's interesting with trauma. That's one thing I've
learned in my life too, that, like, you were talking earlier
when you. Unfortunately, you had found your husband.

>> Theresa Bruno (25:05):
Right.

>> Wendy Valentine (25:06):
That fight or flight kicks in. Fight, flight or
freeze. That. That can
continue like it can. You'll get re. Triggered and
re triggered and then the fight flight kicks and
it's exhausting.

>> Theresa Bruno (25:20):
Exhausting. Uh, I still have to work on it a
lot.

>> Wendy Valentine (25:23):
Yeah. Yes, a lot.

>> Theresa Bruno (25:25):
Yeah. And I, you know, big believer in
therapy.

>> Wendy Valentine (25:28):
Yeah. I was going to ask you about that.

>> Theresa Bruno (25:31):
Yeah. So I was in talk therapy when James
died, and it just really
wasn't working for me anymore. Uh,
and someone pointed me
toward a, um, really, really good therapist who
was doing emdr.

>> Wendy Valentine (25:46):
Oh, that's what I did.

>> Theresa Bruno (25:48):
Yes. And it helped me
more than anything get through some of the real big
beats that just where I was stuck.
Just so stuck. And so I would encourage
anybody to seek out a modality, a
therapeutic modality. That's helpful.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:05):
Yeah, I totally agree. Um, EMDR
was amazing for me. And then I even did
a ketamine journey as well.
Yeah. Which was so cool.
Um, but, yeah, you have to kind of find what works
for you. There's the. The cool thing is, nowadays there's so
many tools, different types of

(26:25):
therapists, different. Like, it's great. I mean, we
have everything even, like, Right. On our computers that, you know,
to get help. But definitely, like, the key is, is to
get help. Right.

>> Theresa Bruno (26:36):
Don't be ashamed. Do not. Oh, yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:39):
No.

>> Theresa Bruno (26:39):
Huh? Uh, no. It will, uh, help you see
yourself and help you come alive to yourself again.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:45):
Yeah. Just like I said earlier, we're all human beings being
human here. Like, there's. It's all part of it. Right.
Like, we're all built with these emotions
and. And just accept it for what it is. Like,
it's. There's no. No reason to feel shame or
guilt. So I'm curious. I was. Oh,
go ahead.

>> Theresa Bruno (27:03):
I'll just give you a little snippet to. For your listeners to take
away. I had a really good friend who walked through part of this
journey with me and her little saying, which sounds so silly,
but it just stuck hard and it made me okay. A lot of days
she would say, hey, it's just okay not to be okay.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:18):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (27:18):
And I was like, okay, I can hold on to that today because I'm not
okay, but I'm still okay.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:24):
Isn't that funny though? Yeah, there's those little words that
actually, uh. Or a magnet on the refrigerator.
Anything.

>> Theresa Bruno (27:30):
It's just like whatever it takes if it works.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:33):
Yeah, you just grab whatever you
can.
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(27:54):
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(28:15):
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(28:36):
2025 the year you truly
come alive.
So I'm curious if anything, uh, they,
they say the professionals like.
But sometimes you'll experience a
loss, especially a very traumatic
loss, and then other losses bubbled to
the surface, even from like
childhood. Is there anything like bubble to the

(28:59):
surface for you during that time?

>> Theresa Bruno (29:01):
Oh, yeah. Um, you know, and it
sounds like I've just had the most terrible life I've
had. Oh no, I
didn't come from a happy home. I came from, um, an
abusive home and, and parents who didn't love each other. And there
was just, you know, there was just a lot in that
house that was not good. And though I

(29:21):
had worked through, I thought I had worked through
all of it. The
betrayal you feel as a child, you know, when a
parent isn't attentive or a parent is
abusive, there's such a deep betrayal of what?
You know, we come into the world as little babies, you know, just
bright and shiny and believing we're going to be loved, which meant
he loved, but it's like a new kitten or a puppy.

(29:43):
You know, they come out running around and crazy. You kick them enough
in the corner and they're never going to run around and be cute and crazy
again.

>> Wendy Valentine (29:50):
Yep.

>> Theresa Bruno (29:50):
Well, I had, I had worked through a lot of that,
but I had no idea
how James suicide would
trigger all of that past betrayal.
And I had to do a lot of really deep work. And that's,
that's a very good question and one for your
listeners to remember that sometimes
all the gunk we feel that comes to the surface isn't what

(30:13):
we're experiencing today.

>> Wendy Valentine (30:15):
Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's
so true. Right. And then to sit
with that and go, okay, what. I,
um, I have to ask myself this question several
times, sometimes every day, like, all right,
what's underneath this, Wendy?

>> Theresa Bruno (30:31):
But that's, that's such a question
because then you know what you're reacting to. Am I reacting
to you, Wendy, today and having a blast or I'm feeling. Or am I
feeling the neglect and the
insecurities of a child and so then I can't talk to you?
Yes.

>> Wendy Valentine (30:46):
Yep. Like it may have anything to do with the
person or the event or whatever the situation
is. It could have something to do with something that
happened 40 years ago.

>> Theresa Bruno (30:56):
Absolutely.
Yes. It all comes forward.

>> Wendy Valentine (31:01):
Yeah. What, what are some of, um, if you don't mind
sharing some of the, some of your triggers that you still have
now from that event. And then how do
you, how do you find that relief? What are, what's
your, what's in your toolbox instead of like what's in your wallet, what's your
toolbox?

>> Theresa Bruno (31:17):
Lots of tools that I've learned and I'm still working on. So I'd love to
share some of those, um, the
triggers, I think the biggest triggers,
um, that happened as a result
of losing the business
because of fraud to someone I tr. The
fraud came through someone I trusted. Okay.

(31:38):
So I didn't feel safe m. And feel
safe with people in business. I
didn't feel safe as a child for most of my
childhood. But when James took his life, everything around
me didn't feel safe. I've had to
really work on. And, and so I want to run from m. Everything,
you know, or I want to close in on myself. And so I've

(31:58):
had to learn that I don't have to be, I don't have to
run to be safe. Mhm.

>> Wendy Valentine (32:04):
Yeah. You don't have to be the runaway
bride. Like just keep running until.

>> Theresa Bruno (32:09):
Yeah, yeah, actually, I mean, it's been the Hardest lesson
because I, I came into this journey very
self protected, you know, very private. And
now I'm just telling everything there is to tell. But,
um, it's. It's learning that
vulnerability, you know, when you can be that
vulnerable and you can share what you're
going through and you have trusted people. I mean, I'm not saying

(32:32):
just share your darkness with
anybody, but there's so much healing.
That's what pulls you out of your shame and your
isolation is being m willing to be vulnerable
and tell your story.

>> Wendy Valentine (32:45):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (32:45):
Shame and isolation do not help you heal.

>> Wendy Valentine (32:48):
No. Mhm. No, definitely not at
all. And kind of going back to what we were saying earlier
with, I mean, basically giving yourself the gift of
grieving. It is a gift. And to allow yourself,
like it's. It's a freaking roller coaster. Right?

>> Theresa Bruno (33:02):
Roller coaster. And I, I will say, five years in, it still
hits hard sometimes. Yeah.
Hard. And. But I've learned,
I've learned to know what I'm
experiencing and I do have tools. I've
learned to have tools that are very helpful.

>> Wendy Valentine (33:17):
Mhm. How are you a
stronger woman now because of
what you went through?

>> Theresa Bruno (33:26):
Um,
I think my strength is more transparent.
Um, it's not, it's not strength based on definitions
of success that were predominantly
material and, um, defined
by, you know, the things early in life
we define our successes by, you know,

(33:46):
it's not what house I live in or what car I drive or do
I have good hair today or.

>> Wendy Valentine (33:51):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (33:51):
You know, those definitions,
they went away so fast. And so I'm
stronger as a woman to be able to sit here and say,
um, you know, I've had some really huge
failures, but I'm most proud, Proud of about
myself is that I'm
resilient. I am figuring it
out. Um, you know, I'm

(34:12):
learning. I thought I was courageous before because I
was brave about opening businesses. You know,
I thought I was courageous because
somehow in the midst of all, all the chaos
of my life, I had two amazing kids and I was like, oh, uh, being a
mom's easy. Well, it's not, you know.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:29):
Yeah. Um, definitely not. Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (34:32):
It's not the older they get, the bigger the problems kind of thing,
but yeah, I think I'm stronger in my weak.
Maybe weakness is the wrong word. I'm stronger and because
I'm just so damned honest about all of it.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:43):
Yeah. Yeah. Like, this is me.

>> Theresa Bruno (34:46):
Yeah. I mean, y'all, it's messy,
raw. It's. It's not
a beautiful journey. It's not.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:54):
I was just Thinking that
analogy, the metaphor of what
you're doing now compared to what you were doing before.
And I really totally thought this line
through yet. But it's almost like before you
were, you were displaying your jewelry
on the outside. Now you're. You're displaying the jewelry on
the inside, if that makes sense.

>> Theresa Bruno (35:16):
Yeah, I loved designing jewelry.
I loved, I loved it, but I didn't love seeing
selling it. Um,
and you know, when I decided to
do the podcast, the Soul Talks podcast, I. I
was just like, I've got to make sense of
everything that's happened to me. And in my grief journey,

(35:36):
I couldn't really find very many people who really would talk about
the ugly. Um, and so I thought,
well, I just want to make a space for people to go. I
can sit in that space with her. I can, I can
share that pain. And it's. It's really
awful. And so that was really. The motivation
was kind of making sense of James life, making

(35:56):
sense of my life and my boys lives by
saying, I've been through this and I
am willing to give you everything I've got if it
helps you. So that was a big
turning point of, um,
getting out there. Um, and
then, you know, that sort of has just catapulted. And I've
met so many incredible people, um, so many

(36:19):
people who've taught me so much.
Healers as well as those grieving, you know, you
just, you just get filled up by
the goodness of humanity, honestly.
So, um, the most helpful thing I've
done is to start the podcast, then writing the book, then doing
the things that come from the podcast, you know, and

(36:40):
it's. That part of the journey is truly beautiful.

>> Wendy Valentine (36:44):
It is. I can vouch for that. It's.
It's quite amazing. I mean, I think
I've learned more about myself and my
own journey just doing this and just like
you said, sharing stories. I mean, I feel like
whenever I do an interview, it's like a little mini workshop for
myself.

>> Theresa Bruno (37:02):
Like, oh, yeah, like, I totally feel the
same. And I learned so much from everybody else's
journey. It's not just my journey and me sharing it. It's that
now I'm asking others to share theirs. And I'm
hopefully, just as you are doing with me today, so
beautifully drawing it out of them. And yeah,
you're exactly right. I am just in
class all the time.

>> Wendy Valentine (37:23):
Yeah, exactly. Life class. So
it's funny, I was thinking about the name of your
podcast, the Soul Talks, and I was
like, yes, the soul does talk,
but this soul Talks all the
time, but rarely do we listen.

>> Theresa Bruno (37:41):
Right.

>> Wendy Valentine (37:42):
What is, what is your, what
is your soul telling you now?

>> Theresa Bruno (37:48):
Um, so one of the things, I totally believe what you just
said. And a good friend of mine always, um,
says, you know, spirit whispers. Spirit doesn't
jump up and down and scream and holler and beat us over the head. So
you have to get really still,
um, and listen to spirit. So spirit
whispers. I'm, um, I'm not in a
place of,

(38:09):
um. I
know what I. Some of the things I would love to
achieve with, um, the
journey I'm on with the podcast in the book and wherever that all
goes. But I'm holding it
in not that place of it's about a success. Success
or it's about a certain number of followers or likes
or it's. It's really trying to

(38:31):
listen and say what, what is this meant to be in this
world? Why did I get the opportunity
to have this story.

>> Wendy Valentine (38:39):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (38:40):
Tell it to have people who are listening. What is it
meant to be? And I don't know what's next.
I don't, um. I don't know where it
will go. I'm just, uh, really
humbled that I get to tell it.

>> Wendy Valentine (38:54):
Mhm. After going through those
experiences, has it helped you to
kind of go in with what you were just saying? To detach
from what's to come or not to come?

>> Theresa Bruno (39:06):
Completely, um, Surrender. Yeah. Just to
be here today in this moment to love
those I love really hard, you know.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:13):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (39:14):
And then just kind of. It tells me, but I
mean, you know, I'm a
believer and you have dreams, you put them out there and you work for
them. I'm not saying that they're just going to happen because you
have it in your head and you do nothing about it.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:27):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (39:28):
I'm in a listening place because I've made some big moves in the
last 18 months and it's, you know, it's doing
its thing and kind of waiting
for. Waiting for it to tell
me.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:40):
Yeah. Isn't that nice though? Instead of trying to push it
or rush it or we, we. We expect everything to be like
this instant.

>> Theresa Bruno (39:48):
Right.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:49):
And just wait for its time. If it
ever. Whatever that is, whatever that is.

>> Theresa Bruno (39:54):
And this may not be forever thing, you know, this may be
something I do for a few years and then I'll
feel like I've put my story out there and it's enough. Or maybe
it's something I do for a very long time. I don't know.
But right now it is very
joyful. For me. Um, and I,
you know, there isn't a day, honestly, that I

(40:14):
don't have somebody reach out to me,
um, DM me what in. Or get in touch
in some way and say things that like, and these are hard to
hear, but every single day I'll get a
message that says, my husband just committed suicide
last week. How do I get to this day? Or
I lost my daughter a year ago and I still can't get out of bed.

(40:35):
And I'm like, okay, God,
okay, universe, you're telling me I,
I have a message that's helpful and maybe I can
give people just, you know, something to
answer that question. How do I get through this day?
Um, and so as long as I feel
like it's needed, I'll do this.

(40:55):
Mhm.

>> Wendy Valentine (40:57):
You mentioned something earlier about you having the
opportunity to actually share the story. Like, in
other words, like, this happened for
you, for others, instead of
it, you know, the victim mode of, oh, this happened
to me, my husband killed himself, I lost my
business. Because that. You have that
option, right? When anything happens, like

(41:18):
anything tragic happens, you have that option to be like,
woe is me, somebody get out the violin
again, and your life could take a
totally different turn. Or
you have that option of, you know what? I want to pull up my
bootstraps. I'm going to heal from this and I'm going
to move on.

>> Theresa Bruno (41:37):
Right. And it's a long healing. I mean, everybody knows
that. It doesn't. Yes, yeah, there is that.
And it's not little, it's like a grain.
Yeah. Not big, it's like a grain. Some little something that
pushes you to go, okay, I can take that next
step. And I want to. You know, I can
actually wash my hair. M. You

(41:57):
know, one day I'll put on makeup again. It's just,
there's something that starts. I. I do
believe as human
beings, we, we have
resilience just in our DNA.
And so something like this happens to you
and that resilience starts talking to you,
you know, and it talks to you pretty

(42:17):
gorgeously going, all right, you
got this. It's awful, but you're not dead.
You got this. You know, it's not killing you
and that you feel like it is, but it really
isn't. And so I
think, um, you know, just listening to your
own resiliency is something that guides

(42:38):
you.

>> Wendy Valentine (42:40):
Yeah, I mean, I, I mean, think like with the dark night of the
soul, as they call it, those are great opportunities
to have those conversations with your soul. The soul
talks.

>> Theresa Bruno (42:50):
Yeah. Well, and I would say five years later, and I
know we're just about. Time's up with your show.
Um, I always thought I was a spiritual
person. I had a big belief system. I was a very
prayerful person. I meditated. I did yoga, all
those things. My m. True
spiritual journey, I think, happened the day James
died. And so

(43:12):
my life spiritually has taken on a
really different, uh,
look. Uh, and.
And I. It. That in and of
itself is a journey, and that's where a lot of the tools have come from. But
I never expected to go to have this
journey. You know, I thought I was. That it was good.

(43:33):
I thought.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:33):
Yeah.

>> Theresa Bruno (43:34):
That it kind of worked out. Um, and where this has
taken me is, um, I am a
better. I think I'm a better person for
it.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:43):
Yeah. Interesting. With his loss, you
became more alive.

>> Theresa Bruno (43:48):
I did. I did. And he's still with
us.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:53):
Oh, for sure. Yeah. Behind.
He's by that Christmas tree back there.

>> Theresa Bruno (43:58):
There you go.

>> Wendy Valentine (44:01):
Thank you so much. This, uh, is. This is
my kind of talk, the Soul Talks.

>> Theresa Bruno (44:07):
Well, there you go. And you do it extremely well. But again, I just
want to say thank you for the opportunity. And, you know,
you're just putting out really good stuff. Stuff in the world. Thank
you.

>> Wendy Valentine (44:15):
Thank you. You too. So where can we
find you? And. And especially, like. Well, we want to make sure we can get your
book when it comes out, too, so thank you.

>> Theresa Bruno (44:23):
Thank you. So, website. Um, Soul
talks, uh, with
teresa.com and
Instagram, soul Talks Podcast.
And, you know, you can listen on Apple or
Spotify and you can watch on YouTube.

>> Wendy Valentine (44:39):
Yes, I know. I was listening to a few
before, so they're really good. I like it.

>> Theresa Bruno (44:44):
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. M. Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (44:46):
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
Happy holidays. And, uh, everyone,
enjoy the rest of your day.

>> Theresa Bruno (44:52):
Just wishing everyone peace and thank you.

>> Wendy Valentine (44:56):
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge
you? Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you
can thank me. Number one, you can leave a written review
of this podcast on Apple iTunes. Number
two, you can take a screenshot of the episode and
share it onto social media and tag me Wendy

(45:16):
Valentine. Number three, share it with
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know who
I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening to
the show. Get out there and be bold. Be
free. Be you.