March 11, 2025 • 57 mins
Are you feeling called to embrace change and step into the best version of yourself this year? In this inspiring episode, Wendy Valentine welcomes author, blogger, and podcaster Seline Shenoy, the creator of The Dream Catcher community. With over 5 million readers and 300,000 listeners worldwide, Seline helps people live authentically and create a life of purpose.
Her latest book, The Nomadic Soul, introduces a powerful framework for self-discovery, exploring the six core needs—three centered on freedom and three on connection—that are essential for living with purpose and joy. Together, Wendy and Seline dive deep into what it means to nurture your soul, break free from societal expectations, and cultivate meaningful connections.
If you’ve ever struggled with defining your freedom, finding your purpose, or embracing your authentic self, this episode is packed with wisdom, insight, and actionable steps to help you realign with what truly fulfills you.
What You’ll Learn:
✅ The six core needs of The Nomadic Soul—freedom and connection explained
✅ Why self-discovery is key to creating a life filled with purpose and joy
✅ How to break free from societal expectations and live authentically
✅ Practical steps for soul care beyond meditation and yoga
✅ Why midlife is the perfect time to redefine your purpose and embrace change
🎧 Tune in now at themidlifemakeovershow.com or wherever you listen to podcasts!
👉 Connect with Seline
🌟 Explore All Things Midlife & More
📖 Grab Your Copy of Women Waking Up
🧘♀️ Find Your Inner Calm with FREEDOM Meditations
🔥 Step Into Your Best Life with FREEDOM at Midlife
🦸♀️ Unleash Your Midlife Superpowers!
🎥 Watch, Learn & Laugh on YouTube!
📸 Follow My Midlife Adventures on IG!
🛍️ Shop My Favorite Midlife Must-Haves!
🎤 Know Someone Inspiring? Nominate a Guest!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Seline Shenoy (00:00):
Yeah, Life is too short. Don't waste it. Don't waste your
energy on, on, people who don't deserve
it, or on situations that are going
nowhere. Because if you listen to your gut,
you'll know that when something is
not working out or is not for you. But we're just
too scared to, like, listen and to really,
like, acknowledge that. But we do
(00:23):
know, like, especially by our age, Wendy,
we do. We have that
intuitive feeling that this is going nowhere and just to
have the courage to let go and try something
different.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:36):
Hey, midlifers. Welcome to the Midlife Makeover
Show. Are you ready to break free from your
mundane midlife? Are you feeling trapped in a
vicious cycle of rinse and repeat days? No
matter if you're experiencing a divorce, hangover,
job burnout, or you just have the midlife
blues, I got you. Hey, I'm
Wendy, your home hostess of the midlife mostest.
(00:59):
I too was hit by midlife like a freight train.
I too felt stuck in the same dull
chapter. I wanted the clarity of how to create
a new life beyond divorce and the courage to
leave an unfulfilling career. But I kept telling
myself that I wasn't worthy. And it was just easier
to stay in my comfort zone. Until I found a
little secret. The freedom to live my
(01:21):
life my way. In this podcast,
you will learn how to achieve a vibrant midlife mind
and body, how to create solid relationships through
love and loss, and how to create an
awesome second half of life. Grab your
grande latte, pop in your earbuds, and let's
get this midlife party started.
(01:43):
Have you ever wanted to write a book but don't know where to
start? Whether it's a memoir, self help,
or another work of, nonfiction, you've got a story
to tell and the world needs to hear it.
That's why I'm so excited to share the book
doulas incubator, a 10 week live
journey designed to help aspiring authors bring
their books to life. Co created by New York
(02:06):
Times best selling author Christine Carlson,
co author of the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
series, and acclaimed book editor Deborah
Evans, this program has helped hundreds of
writers navigate the book creation and platform
building process from idea to
publication. Christine recently joined me on the
Midlife Makeover show to talk about navigating life's
(02:28):
transitions. And if you love that conversation,
imagine what you'll learn from her in this program.
The next session starts April 2, and this
could be your time to finally write that
book. If you've been dreaming of becoming an author.
This is your sign. Head to
tinyurl.com forward sl
(02:49):
book doulas that's
tinyurl.com
book doulas b o o k d o
u l a s to learn more and start
your journey today.
Welcome to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your host,
Wendy Valentine. And since we are now
settling into 2025, well, a
(03:11):
little bit, it's a great time to reassess
where we are and realign with what truly, truly
fulfills us. Today's guest, Celine
Chinoy, is an author, blogger and
podcaster dedicated to helping people live
authentically and create a life of
purpose. She's the creator of the Dream
Catcher. Love that name. An online community
(03:33):
that has inspired Thousands, with over 5
million readers and 300, 000 listeners and viewers
worldwide. In her book, the Nomadic
Soul, Celine reveals a revolutionary
framework for self discovery, exploring the six
core needs, three centered on freedom
and three on connection, that are essential for
(03:53):
living with purpose and joy. If you're feeling
called to embrace change. Oh, yes, you are. And
step into the best version of yourself this year.
You won't want to miss this conversation. Please
welcome Celine to the show.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:09):
Hello, Wendy. How are you doing
today?
>> Wendy Valentine (04:12):
That's my favorite part of the whole
episode. Doing the intro, I'm like,
yeah, you.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:19):
Totally gassed me up there. I love it, I loved it.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:22):
Welcome, welcome. Let's see, you're in Dubai and I'm
in Portugal. And the cool thing is we're talking
to people all over the world, which is so freaking awesome.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:31):
We're going global.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:33):
We're going global, baby. We're going global.
M Isn't it neat, though, that we can actually shine our
light just by getting on here and doing this?
I love it.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:42):
I know. And I, mean, I just love technology. We
wouldn't have been able to do this in the 90s or the 80s,
you know, when. When we grew up and we were kids.
Well, I was a kid.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:53):
Yeah, exactly.
So question for you. first of all, I
love the name. Well, I love the other, the. The community
name, the Dream Catcher, but then also the Nomadic
Soul. Uh-huh. What inspired you to
write this book?
>> Seline Shenoy (05:10):
Okay, so the Pneumatic Soul is an
archetype that I created to describe a personal
willingness to do deep inner
exploration both within ourselves and the
world around us. And the reason why I wrote it
is because I felt that
our society is becoming
increasingly more,
(05:32):
egocentric and more self
centered. And it felt like there
was a loss of depth
and a loss of
this Willingness to live in
alignment with our values and what's most
important to us. So I felt
that a book like this could help people
(05:54):
recalibrate and really check in with
themselves and figure out, okay,
what can I do to live,
in alignment with my highest self and
what's really important to me? Because I
think we're starting to
lose focus of that
(06:14):
because we are being
increasingly distracted by what's going
on outside. Obviously social media,
the technology universe,
it's taking away from the,
the time and the space that we used to have to go
within and, to really
reflect. So I think
(06:37):
this book hopefully would be
a reminder for people about,
hey, it's important to look within
and to really take note
of the things that truly
matter to you and to also create a,
create a character that
(06:57):
would not only make your life
better, but make the lives of other people
better. so, yeah, that's what motive
motivated me to write the Nomadic Soul.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:09):
Yeah, it was. I was just thinking though, isn't it
interesting how it seems like nowadays it's
almost. You have to like, try
really hard to carve out time
for yourself? I mean, we talk about self care a lot. Like,
oh, self care. Taking bathtubs and getting massage.
But to me, like, that is self care, right? It's
like soul care. Taking care of your soul
(07:32):
and really getting to know
yourself. And it's, it's a gift
that you can give to yourself because
it's so easy. I mean, I. Holding
up my phone right here, it's so easy to just
get caught up in all the superficial crap
and just scroll and scroll and scroll and next like an hour goes
by, it's like, oh my God, I could have been doing
(07:54):
something more valuable for myself. Which
actually, just like I was saying in the beginning of like
shining our light, being able to give more
to yourself, to the people around you, and even
to the whole world. It's like the butterfly effect.
>> Seline Shenoy (08:10):
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I love the term
soul care because that's precisely what
I'm prescribing in this book.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:18):
Yes.
>> Seline Shenoy (08:18):
And,
>> Wendy Valentine (08:18):
Yeah, yeah, we don't think about that though. We talk,
we talk so much about taking care of our
bodies, about our physical aspect and,
and emotional too. I mean, that's all very important.
Physical, mental and emotional, but at a
soul level, like to really get
there. So for some people, they can't. I
(08:39):
mean, even for myself too, it's like, it's tried. It's
hard to imagine how do I care for my soul, what do
I do to Actually get to that, those
deeper levels of myself and
bring that to the surface.
>> Seline Shenoy (08:53):
And if there's any conversation about soul care,
it's usually limited to
meditation, mindfulness, yoga, which
is all great, but for some people
that might be a bit too woo woo and
something that they'd rather not do, especially
men.
(09:14):
so I think
what's important is making it more accessible to
everybody and to say this is something that everybody can do.
Which is why I created this framework,
and where I really, really
outline the different needs of
our nomadic soul and I provide
(09:34):
very actionable steps that people
can apply in their daily
life. So it's very doable and it's not
something that is tied to an
ideology. So it,
it's something that everybody can do without feeling
like there in that realm of,
(09:55):
you know, being esoteric and being out there.
Because I think people are becoming
more and more secular and
less tied to kind
of organized systems of
belief. They want to have that free reign to
choose what they, what they want to
believe in. So that's
(10:17):
why I created a system which can do
that for them and give them
options.
>> Wendy Valentine (10:24):
options are good
nowadays.
So you talked about, the importance of freedom and
connection. So how are those, how do those two
forces actually go together?
>> Seline Shenoy (10:39):
Well, I think that as human beings we
have always had this
sense of curiosity and this need to really break
out of our mold and not be
limited by not just our physical
surroundings, but by
societal labels and the
expectations that are placed on us.
(11:01):
So I mean, freedom is such a big
word, right? It could mean so many things. It could
be, it could be just freedom,
human rights, freedom, right? Just live like a
human being and have your basic rights. Or it could be just freedom
to just do whatever you want,
whenever you want. And I think deep down
(11:22):
inside we all have that need. We
don't want people lording over us and telling us what
to do. so that is
the fundamental need which
I've identified across the board.
And connection. You said the second was connection.
What was the other one? Connection.
>> Wendy Valentine (11:42):
Yeah, freedom and connection.
>> Seline Shenoy (11:43):
And connection is we're social beings,
right? We need to be anchored
in relationships of all
kinds. First of all, the relationship with ourself,
that is fundamental, right? Without that, unless
we're anchored in our own being, we
can't form a relationship with anybody else
(12:04):
or anything else. Right? We'll just
be like floating in the void,
like we won't have anything to ground us. so
first of all, developing that connection with ourselves and Then
connecting with other people.
We're social beings right from the beginning, since the
caveman days, we needed community.
(12:24):
So, that
form of connection is essential. And then connecting
with nature, other creatures,
and then a force higher, bigger than
ourselves, you know, whether you call it God,
you know, you know, whatever it is that you
connect with. That sense of otherworldliness
and that transcendence. We all
(12:47):
need that. So I believe
that these are two sides of a coin.
Freedom, the need for freedom and the need for connection.
And by fulfilling these
needs, we will be able
to achieve a sense of wholeheartedness
and really achieve that sense of fulfillment that we're
all seeking.
>> Wendy Valentine (13:08):
Yeah, it's funny, I was thinking about
the word freedom the other day because, just like
you said, like, it means something different to everyone.
In the last two episodes I've had, one was about being
bold, one was about being radical.
And I'm like, okay, what does that actually mean? You
know, and. Because it means something different to
(13:28):
everyone and at different stages in
life. And just like, freedom. I
mean, I. I can remember at one point,
freedom meant for me to be able to,
you know, like, to have a job that I could travel and I could, you know,
I could work remotely. That was. That was part of the freedom that I
was wanting. I wanted the freedom to be able to
(13:49):
do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Not have
ask someone, do, what do you want to do? You know?
And then. And then at one point, like, the deeper
I went into. To my soul care, my
nomadic soul, right? A lot of my freedom
was freedom from myself,
from the limiting thoughts, from all of
the doubt and the. In the BS that I would
(14:12):
tell myself. Like, I wanted freedom
from basically the ego, right? Like, I
wanted my soul to just be able to
breathe. And I. And I wasn't being
held back from anything. So I
think, like, it's a. It's an important question, that everyone
needs to ask himself, like, what does freedom
(14:33):
mean to me? Within your.
Within yourself? I mean, there's again, like, there can be
freedom, external freedoms, and then there's
internal. Like, what is that internal freedom
mean to you? What does it mean to you?
>> Seline Shenoy (14:48):
Oh, first of all, I just want to acknowledge
the point that you just made.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:52):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (14:52):
Freedom from ourselves, those limiting
beliefs, those fears
that we have,
trauma, those demons within us.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:03):
Ah.
>> Seline Shenoy (15:04):
that is. That is such a good point.
And, I love the way you define freedom.
And I would. I
would actually say the same. That's.
That's definitely One aspect of freedom,
for me, but I think freedom for
me is to not be limited
(15:24):
by social expectation
and labels that are placed upon
me. And this is heavily influenced by
my cultural upbringing because that has
definitely, impacted me
as an Asian woman. And we have to deal
with this cultural baggage.
and I think just the freedom
(15:47):
to be, the kind of woman that I want to
be and not be, kind of
limited by the mold that has been laid
out by culture. and I know
this is something that women all over the world
face, but definitely in
more conservative,
collectivistic cultures where
(16:09):
roles are kind of predetermined.
It becomes more of
a burden that women have to
face. And I think it's the same for
men as well. they too have to deal, with a lot of
expectations, from
society. So for me, yeah, that feels freedom
is really predicated,
(16:32):
on the cultural
impact that's been
pervasive in my life.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:40):
Yeah, I totally agree. And I, also,
when you think about it, it's like when you define what does
freedom mean to you at this point in your
life and then what are you willing to do
about it? Because
we could say like, okay, this is holding me
back and I can't have freedom from this and this and
this. But are
(17:02):
you, you're also the one that has
the ability and the
control to do something with
that in order to achieve that freedom.
And that's, I think, the scary part.
>> Seline Shenoy (17:19):
Yeah. And I think, Wendy, we,
we have more power than we realize.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:24):
I know, I know.
Yeah. I, see it all the time. I, I, I,
I know. I totally.
>> Seline Shenoy (17:31):
We kind of just given and surrender, like,
this is my life and there's
nothing I can do to change it. And oh, it's going
to be too much work. I don't want to rock the boat.
But, you know, the door is right there in front of us and we have the
key to open it. We just have to,
we just have to see that and believe that we can do
(17:53):
that.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:54):
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I thought I
was, think I was doing, I'm doing some deep thinking lately,
y'all. I was thinking like
so many people I hear from people that have like, are going through
challenges in their life, no matter it's changing
a career or they have to sell their house or they're going
through a divorce or whatever it is, and they're so
(18:15):
focused on what they're going to have
to do, which is good. Like you, you got to think about those
things. But think about
where you will be on the other side
of it and trusting and have faith that you
will get through it. And
imagine that that woman that you will become
after you change your career and you're now,
(18:37):
like, you have new relationships and.
Or you move into a new place and all the different
experiences, whatever. Like,
imagine that, like the end
result. Because if you keep focusing
on the problems, then it's so
overwhelming, and then you just. You're so
stressed, it's harder to move forward. instead of just
(18:59):
going, okay, I got this. I can do it, I
can do it.
>> Seline Shenoy (19:04):
Yeah, yeah, that's. That's so beautifully said. I
think it's important to. Just to be pulled by the vision
versus just. Yeah, you,
know, wear those blinders and be
totally limited,
by all the things that can go wrong,
all those fears and listening to your inner
critic. You can't do it. Or, this can happen. That can happen.
(19:27):
You know? Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:29):
It's exhausting.
>> Seline Shenoy (19:31):
Those litany of excuses that are just
gonna drown the voice of your
wiser self or just saying, hey, you
really, really gotta get
going.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:42):
You know, I mean, you and I talked before
we hit record about becoming authors and
having a book out there. Like, it's a very
vulnerable feeling. I mean, and
it's like, absolutely. I think any.
>> Seline Shenoy (19:55):
Create any creative person, any creative field,
like, it's you. You have to put yourself out
there.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:01):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (20:01):
And it is.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:03):
Yeah. and. And it's just like this weird feeling.
And then every. It's almost like,
okay, wait, I thought I took care of that. Damn limiting
belief. It's back again.
And, you know, I mean, like, here it is in the next few
weeks, like, boom, here comes this book that I've been
waiting for. It's my dream. And I'm still like,
(20:23):
I hope everyone likes it. I feel like a little, you know, kid
again going, I hope they like it. What if they don't like
it? I'm like, okay, enough.
Like, that's enough. And you, You. You have to
almost talk yourself through some of this.
>> Seline Shenoy (20:39):
Yeah. And don't be afraid to reach out for
support. Have some friends or
have a coach or somebody.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:47):
And it's normal. It's normal, right?
>> Seline Shenoy (20:50):
I mean, it's. It's normal. Don't beat yourself up
if you know that, gremlin, inner gremlin
raises its ugly head. It's. It's
natural.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:59):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (21:01):
You know, so the, the key is to have a
game plan about how to handle it and
replace that voice with a voice that
is more supportive. like an inner coach, you know,
someone who will push you in a good way.
So just being prepared for that voice is,
Is important.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:19):
Yeah. I think when I first read,
Untethered Soul, that book,
>> Seline Shenoy (21:25):
Oh, I love that book.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:26):
Yes. It's. Yeah. It's one of my faves. And it's
just, it's so simple. There's nothing. It's not
rocket science. It's just very basic
teachings, very simplistic.
>> Seline Shenoy (21:36):
It. Yeah. It has its roots in Buddhism,
Buddhist teachings. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:41):
But I mean, I can remember that's when I first
really started listening to the chatter
in my mind. Like, wait
a second, who's. And my goal
was, is that I wanted the cheerleader in
my mind to be louder than my critic.
>> Seline Shenoy (21:58):
Absolutely. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:00):
And I was like, oh no. And every time some
type of negativity or self doubt or limiting
belief would creep in, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not gonna have it. Yeah.
It, it'll.
>> Seline Shenoy (22:14):
Sometimes you have to, you have to do the work to
really, explore, explore, explore it and see where
that voice is coming from. I worked with a coach
for, for a year to
m. Get to know that inner
critic and its origins and
really, you know, deal with it
(22:35):
and find ways to, to to quieten that voice.
It, it took a lot of work. Like I had to do a lot of
reflection. I had to do some you
know, some journaling. so I mean the
deeper entrenched it is in, the stronger that voice is.
I think the more, the more work you need to put
into, to detaching from it.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:56):
You know, I feel like the more. And yes,
it does take a lot of work to do all that. And it's
so worth it because the
more that you can take care of your soul, get to
really know yourself at that soul level,
the external stuff doesn't really
bother you that much anymore. You just kind of like you almost
(23:17):
don't see it or you don't hear it.
It's just so. It's like. It's just like noise. You
just like, whatever.
>> Seline Shenoy (23:24):
And, and that's incredibly liberating, Wendy. I
mean, one thing I love about getting freedom. One thing.
Yeah. That is freedom. That's one thing I love about getting
older and wiser. Like stuff doesn't
bother you as much as it used to.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:38):
No.
>> Seline Shenoy (23:39):
Really does. Especially if you've been doing the inner
work. like
you just, you just don't care anymore. Like people can
say whatever they want to say.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:49):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (23:49):
But if you know who you are. And you know what's
important to you and you know that you're
following your, your
highest path and your calling
it, doesn't matter what other people say.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:03):
Yeah.
Speaking of, a lot of people
will wonder, especially their 40s
and 50s and like life is like catching up and
they're like, wait a second, what is my purpose? You know,
like, what am, why am I here? What am I supposed
to be doing? So what, how, how does
someone help, you know, how do they arrive at
(24:24):
this is my purpose in life? This is what I should be
doing?
>> Seline Shenoy (24:28):
Yeah. This is a big juicy
question and I mean there have been so many
books written about this, but ah,
you know, with different types of modalities and
methodology. But I think the one that I
resonate most with is really paying
attention to the things that excite you
and call to you.
(24:52):
Just see what you're gravitating towards.
and I think that could be your biggest clue. It's like a treasure
trail, right? You gotta look like if you're
younger, and I know your audience is probably not
that young, but they probably have kids, right?
>> Wendy Valentine (25:06):
Young at heart.
>> Seline Shenoy (25:07):
Yeah, young at heart. Like encourage your
kids to just
follow, follow their interests and
to experiment and see,
ah, just try it on for size. I think
you have to be experimental, in the early
stages or even now if you're still not sure now
just try to experiment with a couple of things and
(25:30):
see what sticks and what really
gets you going. So I think
really staying tuned in and seeing
what really excites you and what really
calls to you and then refining that
and seeing how can that be expressed
in the world like in a tangible way. Because
we're living in a time where, I mean,
(25:52):
we can do all sorts of stuff like on the
Internet, like you can be like as a
creator, the sky is the limit. You do
everything. And that wasn't the case earlier. So
just, I think just follow,
follow that, that, that fire
within you. And then there definitely will be something
that really lights you up. So pay attention to
(26:15):
that. And I think that's the most, I like it
because it's very simple.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:20):
And simple's best. I mean,
I'm all about that and simple is best.
>> Seline Shenoy (26:25):
Don't complicate it and don't make it seem like it's this
big grand thing where you gotta save the
planet and it can be something
so, so simple, you
know? yeah, you know, because that's
intimidating. That's what intimidates people and blocks
Them from actually going there. Yes, you know,
but no, it could and it's okay.
(26:47):
The, the scale doesn't matter.
What, what matters is that you feel like you're making an
impact and. Yeah.
And it has your unique fingerprint.
>> Wendy Valentine (27:02):
Grab your Sharpie because it's time to.
Set solid, permanent boundaries in your
relationships and in your life. And why
do you need boundaries? Boundaries tell the world where
you draw the line. Where you say yes and where
you say no. Studies have shown that people
who have healthy boundaries have higher self esteem,
greater confidence, less burnout, a
(27:24):
greater sense of identity and less
stress. Being clear with your boundaries
means you are clear with who you are and how you
live your life. To help you set clear boundaries,
I created a free guidebook called the Boundary
Boss Blueprint. Please go to
Wendy Valentine.com
forward/boundary to receive your
(27:46):
free download. So you too can be a
boundary boss with less stress, less higher
self esteem, and greater health and
happiness. Yeah, I think from, you know, when
I look back, I,
one thing I learned is that your purpose is not
always a vocation, doesn't have to be a
career.
>> Seline Shenoy (28:06):
So true.
>> Wendy Valentine (28:07):
Yeah. And then, and then also, I mean
your soul itself is,
that is, its purpose is to just
be here. In other words, like you're not
trying to achieve something grand like you said, like to
accept who you are and what you're doing. It doesn't
matter. You, your purpose is multiple
(28:28):
things. I feel, and I, I feel like what you
do on your journey here
in this, you know, school of life
is learning in teach. I mean
we're all, we're all teachers and we're all learning, learner, we're all
students, we're all teachers. Right. We're all learning something.
We're all teaching something in multiple ways. And
(28:49):
with our family and even the barista
at Starbucks, we're all teaching and
we're all learning and it's just
taking all of those life lessons and just do,
do something good with it. It doesn't matter what it is.
Even if you're just planting flowers,
it doesn't make a difference. Like it doesn't have to
(29:09):
be one thing that you do. And
like that's my purpose. Like
for now.
>> Seline Shenoy (29:16):
Like yeah, you can have multiple purposes.
Doesn't have to be one. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:20):
And I mean I can remember for me again, I was, I
was so stressed trying
to find my purpose, I'm like what
am I supposed to be doing with my life? What am I mean? And,
but just like you said, the greatest thing I
did was to try multiple things.
I went to French pastry school, I
(29:41):
became a yoga instructor, I became a
meditation instructor, I became a
coach. I did all these things
to just try. I'm like, what the
hell?
>> Seline Shenoy (29:52):
What, what my question is, is there a thread
of commonality among all those things that you tried?
Because I'll bet there was.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:00):
Yeah, exactly. And I think that's what it is. That
when you start to try different things
and have different experiences,
you'll find the thread. Or actually I think the
thread finds you. It'll just be
like, yeah, you'll just start to like keep going
down the pathway and you're like, ah, I just feel good. I
(30:20):
don't know why, but I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing, you know?
>> Seline Shenoy (30:24):
Yeah, yeah. As you were speaking, I. I
just remember Jack Canfield, he has a really
good template that he's created
for defining your life purpose, which I don't
remember it off the top of my head, but I think it's.
You can find it in his book life
skills, like 59 life
skills or something. But he has such a handy
(30:46):
template that you can use. it's so
succinct and it really gets you to like
drill down to the basic components.
That's what I love about it. So that's a resource that I would offer
your listeners.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:58):
Yeah, it's. And really just tapping into your
strengths and what do you like to do? What do you
want to do? And yeah, yeah, just go with
that.
>> Seline Shenoy (31:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, simplify, simplify.
Don't overcomplicate it.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:13):
Do you make New Year's resolutions?
>> Seline Shenoy (31:20):
Well, not really because
I'm. I just create
like. I create goals for. I create annual
goals, quarterly goals, monthly goals.
So it's a ritual that
I, I do anyway, so there's. For
me, it's just. I don't
know, for me, I. It. It's not something,
(31:43):
it's not something that I partake in because it's already
built into my system.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:48):
Yeah, I'm the same way. I mean, I think it's like the new year
rolls around, it's always kind of like a nice time
to like reset and regroup. I never really liked the
word like resolution because
you're trying to resolve meaning, like there's
something wrong.
>> Seline Shenoy (32:03):
You know what I mean?
>> Wendy Valentine (32:04):
Like so true there's something wrong or there's
something missing or there needs to be a
correction. Like not really. You're just resetting.
>> Seline Shenoy (32:12):
Yeah, I do like. I do like to do an
Annual review. I, like to look back on the
year that's passed and kind of just
highlight the key moments, the
milestones, the learnings, what went
right, what I could have done better, and then
kind of extract all of that and
(32:33):
let that inform, like, what I do the next
year. So that is something that I like to
do at the end of the year.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:41):
Yeah. Yeah. I think everyone probably needs
to just figure out what works for them.
You know, if New Year's resolutions work and studies have
shown it works for you, then great. If
not, then maybe try something different.
>> Seline Shenoy (32:57):
Yeah, absolutely. And now there are so many options out there,
but different systems and, ways
of thinking about your life and, your
objectives.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:06):
Yeah. So I know that, like, we were.
We were talking about what is freedom, what is bold,
what is radical. You know, what does it mean to connect
all that?
Another, another term that's been popping up, lately
is authentic self. And I
had someone ask me the other day, or they. Or she had said,
I really just. I want to be my authentic self.
(33:27):
I'm like, well, who is that? Who is your
authentic self? So how does someone actually
get to know their authentic self?
And most importantly, to be their authentic
self?
>> Seline Shenoy (33:42):
Yeah. I have a love hate relationship with that
term.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:46):
I know.
>> Seline Shenoy (33:48):
Yeah. I. I have a
whole chapter dedicated to developing,
your identity. it's the freedom to develop an
authentic identity. Right.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:59):
I like that.
>> Seline Shenoy (34:01):
And in that, in that
chapter, I lay out,
you know, a step by step process where you can actually
unravel the authentic part of you.
So it goes down from the superficial layers, which
are, you know, the roles that you play in life. You
know, I'm a doctor, I'm a
(34:22):
father, I'm, I don't know, a
stamp collector, whatever.
>> Wendy Valentine (34:26):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (34:27):
I am a Christian. Right. And
then it kind of goes down to
the core of who you are. And that
entails, you know, your
values, what's important to you, what are your
standards, the, you
know, the causes that really matter to
you. So I think it's almost like
(34:49):
that part of you that really is at the
crux of your being,
sort of like that
inner compass within you that really guides
your decisions. And I think it's important to know what
that compass is,
so that you are not run by other
(35:09):
forces. So getting
really clear about those
intangible, aspects
of yourself. Because we are, Wendy. We're all driven
by something. Right. We all have things that drive
us. And it's important to kind
of grapple with that. And Know what drives
you, because if you don't,
(35:32):
you could be, influenced by other. Other
people and, other norms.
So I think that authentic self is
that core being of you that
comprises, all those. Those, really,
deep qualities that
really matters, to you.
(35:52):
And I think that stays pretty much the
same. It doesn't really change.
And learning how to express that in a
way that is,
That. That
feels real and
that would benefit the
world.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:12):
Yeah, I was think, too, that
I was saying earlier about we're all, you
know, teachers and students. We're
learning. Right. And a lot of
it is the unlearning.
It's unlearning what is not us.
Whether, that's been taught by culture,
(36:34):
religion, society, friends,
family, the upbringing, I think.
>> Seline Shenoy (36:39):
Would you really think that's who they are? That's. People think that's
who they are.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:43):
Right. exactly. And. And some people are very,
very proud of their labels. And, in
fact, I was at. I got trained at the Chopra
center, and.
>> Seline Shenoy (36:53):
Oh, I want to go there. I really want to go
there.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:57):
Yeah, there it was insane. Or in Carlsbad, I met
Deepak Chopra.
>> Seline Shenoy (37:01):
Twice, and I told him like, hey, I want to go there. And he's like, yeah, you
should come.
>> Wendy Valentine (37:05):
Like, oh, he's a hoot. Yeah. But I can
remember, I did one of the retreats,
and he was asking.
>> Seline Shenoy (37:12):
We.
>> Wendy Valentine (37:13):
We had to answer the question, who am I?
And naturally you were like, oh, you
know, I'm a doctor, I'm a woman, I'm a
sister, I'm, you know, I.
I'm a baker, I'm a cook, I'm a this, I'm a
that. It's like, nope, nope, nope. Like, and you keep going
underneath it. And then it's just like, I
(37:33):
am just. And. And that's another
important question that we need to ask ourselves. Like, who are
you underneath all of
those labels? Who are you
really? Yeah, because, I mean,
you come into the world with no labels, and you're going to leave the
world with no labels. So it's like, who are
you underneath all of that? And that's
(37:56):
the. To me, it's the.
It's the intangible that is the most powerful.
It's what. It's the invisible that is more. The invisible
is way more powerful than the
visible. And I think once. But yeah, once
we can grasp that, knowing that we're more
than the body, that we're, you
know, that we're cruising through in this lifetime.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:18):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:18):
You know, like, we're more than these Thoughts and these
beliefs and the.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:24):
You hear on the news, the conditioned thinking.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:26):
Yes. I mean we're.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:28):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:28):
So much more than all of
that. Like you strip away all of that.
That's like. That's the good stuff.
That's.
That's the that.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:43):
Hello.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:43):
Not the candy wrapper. Right.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:46):
Yeah. But there. A lot
of people are terrified about facing that part of
themselves. You'd be surprised. Yeah. So
they drown it. They just, I don't know,
they kind of just try to mask it with
escapism. Like they try to drink it. Drink
or like take drugs or like
shop too much or, you know,
(39:09):
they don't want to face that side of themselves for whatever
reason. Or they might just think it's.
Why bother? Like what, what good is it gonna do? Right?
Like it's just better to swim on the shallow end of the
pool. or maybe they just don't know how.
It's like completely out of their.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:26):
Completely.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:27):
you know, they don't know how to do it.
It's not within their.
Within their bandwidth of thinking and
you.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:36):
Right, exactly like. And you have to really want it.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:39):
Yeah, you have to really want it and.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:42):
Yeah. Because I mean, I don't know if.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:43):
You'Ve ever m. Talked to. Sorry. go ahead.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:46):
No, go ahead, you go first.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:49):
I don't know if you've ever spoken to anyone who's like an old
timer or like people
who came from a time when they were just in survival
mode. Right. People who grew up during
the Depression or the world wars.
And for them it's just like that was a
luxury. So we have to acknowledge that.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:09):
Ah.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:09):
To tap into that part
of ourselves is a privilege.
A lot of human beings in history were not able to do that because
they were just keeping their head above the
water.
so people from older generations
who are lit or even like people who are living in war
zones right now, that's not something that they
(40:32):
consider. So I think, it's important to
make a note of that.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:37):
Yeah, very true. And yeah.
And at the same time, like you hear
how was the name of that? M.
the Holocaust survivor. The book.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:49):
Oh yeah, Edith. Edith. Eva.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:52):
That one.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:53):
And there's another Victor Frankl. The one who.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:55):
Victor Frankl.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:56):
Yeah, yeah, Frankel. Frankel. I spoke to an expert,
he's like, it's Frankel.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:02):
But kind of going back to what we were saying before
about like we're really the ones that imprison
ourselves. And like you look at these
people that I Mean,
we're in these extreme. The, the worst conditions
that you can possibly imagine.
>> Seline Shenoy (41:19):
Yeah. But it's interesting, Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:21):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (41:21):
Even within those circumstances, Frank said
you they could find freedom.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:26):
That's what I'm just going to say.
>> Seline Shenoy (41:28):
Finding a sense of meaning and
really. Because that's all they had in those times.
That's all they could hold on to.
Hope and just
trying to wrap their heads around their
circumstances and be like. Because they're like, why? This is
just m. And they had to really dig deep
to find. To create a narrative that
(41:51):
worked for them and
made them feel better in that moment, despite all
the atrocities that they were going through.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:59):
Yeah, yeah. You think, like,
it would be so easy to just go sit in a cave,
you know, in lotus position and achieve peace.
You know what I mean? But really
the key is to be in the world but not
of it is to be in the midst of
all of this chaos in the world
(42:20):
and still be at peace and to still
have that freedom and to still have the
connection like that.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:27):
That's the ultimate challenge.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:29):
That's the old. Yeah, exactly. that's, that's nirvana.
That's like.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:33):
That is nirvana.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:34):
That's the exhale of the soul. Yeah, yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:37):
I mean that's not to say that modern day
problems are not
something that, yeah. That, that can hurt us
or that can, They're
still hard. I mean, pain is pain, right?
>> Wendy Valentine (42:51):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:52):
So, I think just the human
condition is universal and I think we just need to,
find things, find techniques, find ways of
thinking and mindsets that
can work for us and help
us navigate all of these storms that we all
inevitably will go through.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:12):
Oh, yeah, I know.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:14):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:14):
I mean, I mean if you can, you know, make it out
of here without any,
any bruises or scars like. Holy
moly.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:23):
Yeah. it's impossible. It's impossible.
You. Unless you're a monk who's living in a secluded
monastery.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:30):
Exactly.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:31):
It's impossible.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:33):
I know. And I, you know, I think
about, I think about my audience a lot. I think about my
listeners a lot. And okay,
we're, we're all here, you know, most likely between the ages
of 40 and 60. Ish, whatever.
I do have some, you know, younger peeps listening too,
which is cool.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:51):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:52):
But you think at this age, like,
we have friends that are starting to pass away, our
parents are passing away,
relatives. Yeah. I mean, there are people are,
you know, getting cancer or. There's
lots of struggles and
challenges, like right in our faces
at this stage in life. And
(44:14):
this is I always. I try my
best in my own life because that's all I can
control, is me. If there's any
challenge that pops up, I always pause and go,
okay, what can I learn from this? How can I
grow from this and just try
to. You make the best of it. Whatever
(44:34):
it is, you do the best you can. That's all you
can do.
>> Seline Shenoy (44:39):
Yeah. No, I. I love that you bring that up, because
it's so easy to get cynical and get
jaded as we go through really
difficult, you know, situations in life
and as we lose people who are dear to us. You know,
just the other day, I was reflecting on all the people that,
I've lost, and I was just. It really
(44:59):
got me down. But then I had to
do what. What you did. Like, really, be
grateful for the times that I shared with
them and, learn how to
accept the
finality of death and the transient nature
of life. I think that is something that
all. All of us need to grapple
(45:22):
with as we get older. because
when you're younger, you feel like your. Your
time horizon's pretty. Pretty.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:29):
Yeah, you're like.
>> Seline Shenoy (45:30):
You feel like you're gonna. You feel like you're gonna live
forever. You're a rock star, your friends are gonna be
around you forever. And,
yeah, we. That's not something that we need to face. But,
yeah, as we get older, we're like,
okay, you know, this is gonna end
someday, and I'm gonna lose people I
love, and tragedies,
(45:53):
happen. Bad things happen.
So we have to resist getting
to that place of cynicism and really,
try to. Try to focus
on the beauty of life and what we're
grateful for and the goodness that's there on this planet.
Because there's plenty. There's
(46:15):
plenty.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:15):
Oh, I know. Exactly. It's whatever you focus
on. It's like the quote from,
Is it Mary Oliver? She says, what will you do with
your one wild and precious life?
>> Seline Shenoy (46:28):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:29):
Yeah. I mean, your life is so precious. Like,
it's. I try to remind myself of
that. I'm like, holy crap, again. I'm just. I'm hoping I can
get it all done before I go, you know?
>> Seline Shenoy (46:41):
Yeah. I think being very intentional in how you spend
your time, I think that becomes increasingly
more important as you get older.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:49):
Yeah. I mean, going back to your saying, it's like, you get to a point
where you're like, just don't care about stupid crap. Because you're
like, no, my life.
>> Seline Shenoy (46:56):
You can't. Yeah, life is for short, don't waste
it, don't waste your energy on,
on people who don't deserve it or on
situations that are going nowhere. Because if you
listen to your gut, you'll know that
when something is not working out or is not
for you, but we're just too scared to, like, listen
(47:16):
and to really, like, acknowledge,
that, but we do know, like, especially by
our age, Wendy, we do. We, we have
that, that intuitive feeling that
this, this is going nowhere and just to have the courage to
let go and try something different.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:34):
Pivot when you need to pivot. Oh, yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (47:38):
Permission to pivot.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:39):
I like that I
give you permission to pivot. You may.
>> Seline Shenoy (47:44):
Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:47):
So, last question for you. What, what is
a meaningful, fulfilling life?
What does that mean to you.
>> Seline Shenoy (47:57):
A meaningful and fulfilling
life?
I think it's feeling,
feeling a sense of accomplishment, I think
through my creative efforts.
And I feel like
(48:17):
creativity has been very healing for me. When I started writing
my blog around 10 years ago,
and just being able
to express myself and what I believe in, I feel
like that brought so much meaning to
me. so.
And of course, if it can impact other people in
(48:39):
a positive way, that's, that's a bonus. And that's
what happened. And I can tell you
all the other superficial stuff
took a backseat, you know?
>> Wendy Valentine (48:50):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (48:51):
There was a phase in my life where I was
kind of in the social circuit. I was, I,
and I was not a big party animal, but I was
a bit of a socialite. and I felt kind, I
felt lost. I mean, I had
fun up to a certain point, but then later on I was
like, I'm getting tired of this. Right? I'm
(49:11):
not feeling, not doing it for me
anymore. I felt that
I was just not getting satiated. Even
though I was wearing nice dresses, I
was, you know, hanging out with popular kids and,
go to nice houses. For a certain point, I said,
I just, I don't want to do this anymore.
(49:33):
And then I thought to myself,
okay, what can I do? And
I always had the sense that
I was burdened by my potential. I felt like there was
something in me that needed to birth. So
then I, I, I
heard from a lot of people about my writing skills and that
(49:53):
I should give vlogging a try. And then I started that
and I, I never looked
back because I, I couldn't believe how much
happiness I got from just channeling all
those ins, those, the inspiration that I
had within me. That's
definitely something that, is Part of
(50:14):
having a meaningful life for me, like
creativity, creative freedom, and
also finding a community
of people that I can have a good,
relationship with. I think that's become increasingly more
important to me as I've, you know,
as I've gotten older. in the past, I felt like I
was a bit of a. I was more
(50:36):
independent. But then, now I feel like I want to have. I want
to cultivate more meaningful relationships.
and that's something that's. I've been focusing on for the
past two years. so I think
having meaningful connections,
and having really stimulating,
exchanges with people.
>> Wendy Valentine (50:58):
Deeper. A deeper connection.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:00):
Deeper, deeper connection. I think
that's something we all need, especially
now when people are feeling more and more
lonely, you know?
>> Wendy Valentine (51:10):
isn't that interesting?
>> Seline Shenoy (51:12):
Yeah. And I. I think that
you can go it alone, really. Don't. Don't even
try. Don't even try. Like, get out
there. Join groups. Join
organizations.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:24):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:25):
Join online forums. I mean, I'd prefer
meeting, people in person, like we used
to in the past.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:33):
So the old days.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:34):
Yeah, the old days. Go out for a coffee with
friends. Like, just. Just do it. Like, you
could feel so much. So much
better. And.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:43):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:44):
Especially if you're a creative person or someone who
works alone a lot, you definitely need to get
out because
we, as social beings, we need connection. I mean,
we need that. It's just something
that. That, yeah. even for me, like, m. Makes us
come alive.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:02):
Yeah. Like, I work alone a lot
because I'm doing a lot of writing and stuff for the show and all
that, and right now I'm. I'm teaching
my. My Freedom at Midlife program. And it's.
We meet once a week, and it's so nice. I look forward
to it because I'm like, there you go.
Because as you know, too, being a podcast
(52:22):
host, it's sometimes can be like a monologue.
You're just, like, sitting here and you're like, is anyone.
You don't really get to interact. We get to interact with our
podcast guests. So you get to interact with
your audience. And so it's. It's
anyone listening. Like, no one's saying
anything, literally. Like, I think
so.
>> Seline Shenoy (52:42):
Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:43):
Connect with the other.
>> Seline Shenoy (52:44):
I get it.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:45):
And in a more soulful,
level, instead of the
typical, like, you know, superficial
type of relationships. So it's. It's
good. Yeah. Like, I mean, that was good advice because you. There are
so many ways to connect with other people out there in the world.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:03):
Like, yeah. And, be more resourceful,
like, and creative in, in terms
of, like, where are you going to go to find them? You know,
like. Yeah, like what? Like you went to the
Chopra Center. I'm sure you met a lot of like minded people there.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:17):
Oh, my God, yes.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:19):
There you go.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:20):
I was gonna say too. Sometimes you'll stumble, you know,
upon your, you know, your purpose when
you're meeting these other people and doing other things.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:28):
So true.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:29):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:31):
You can make really valuable connections, you
know.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:34):
Yes.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:35):
Business as well. So there's. It's a win. Win. Really.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:38):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:38):
Ah.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:39):
So where can we find you and how do we get your
book?
>> Seline Shenoy (53:43):
Thanks for asking. you can learn more about me.
and you can listen to my podcast, the Dreamcatcher
podcast, on celineshinoy.comm. you can
follow me on Instagram at Celine
Chinoy and you can purchase
the book wherever books are sold.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:00):
It's a pretty cover too. I like it.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:03):
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:05):
I know you're not supposed to judge the book by its cover,
but I do and it's good.
It's really good. Yeah. The nomadic.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:13):
Yeah, I've got, I've got a few compliments on
the. Yeah, I'm very happy with the,
with the team, the design team and my publisher.
They did a really good job. Yeah, I mean, I gave them,
I sent them a mood board and I told them my basic, like,
what the vision I had for it and
they just did their magic. Gorgeous.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:33):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:33):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:34):
thank you so much. It was great to meet you, Wendy.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:36):
Thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:37):
Yeah, so much.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:38):
It was such a pleasure to be on your show. You are a
wonderful host. You're so vivacious. You're full of
energy. I just love it. And your branding
is on point.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:47):
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I try. No, it matches me.
It's. It's my absolutely,
absolutely authentic branding.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:55):
Keep being you. Keep.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:57):
Yes. Oh, thank you.
All right, everyone, have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge
you, Trigger you to make a change, or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you
can thank me. Number one, you can leave a written
review of this podcast on Apple iTunes.
Number two, you can take a screenshot of the episode
(55:18):
and share it onto social media and tag me.
Wendy, Balance time. Number three, share it
with another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know
who I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening
to the show. Get out there and be bold,
be free, be.
Yeah, Life is too short. Don't waste it. Don't waste your
energy on, on, people who don't deserve
it, or on situations that are going
nowhere. Because if you listen to your gut,
you'll know that when something is
not working out or is not for you. But we're just
too scared to, like, listen and to really,
like, acknowledge that. But we do
(00:23):
know, like, especially by our age, Wendy,
we do. We have that
intuitive feeling that this is going nowhere and just to
have the courage to let go and try something
different.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:36):
Hey, midlifers. Welcome to the Midlife Makeover
Show. Are you ready to break free from your
mundane midlife? Are you feeling trapped in a
vicious cycle of rinse and repeat days? No
matter if you're experiencing a divorce, hangover,
job burnout, or you just have the midlife
blues, I got you. Hey, I'm
Wendy, your home hostess of the midlife mostest.
(00:59):
I too was hit by midlife like a freight train.
I too felt stuck in the same dull
chapter. I wanted the clarity of how to create
a new life beyond divorce and the courage to
leave an unfulfilling career. But I kept telling
myself that I wasn't worthy. And it was just easier
to stay in my comfort zone. Until I found a
little secret. The freedom to live my
(01:21):
life my way. In this podcast,
you will learn how to achieve a vibrant midlife mind
and body, how to create solid relationships through
love and loss, and how to create an
awesome second half of life. Grab your
grande latte, pop in your earbuds, and let's
get this midlife party started.
(01:43):
Have you ever wanted to write a book but don't know where to
start? Whether it's a memoir, self help,
or another work of, nonfiction, you've got a story
to tell and the world needs to hear it.
That's why I'm so excited to share the book
doulas incubator, a 10 week live
journey designed to help aspiring authors bring
their books to life. Co created by New York
(02:06):
Times best selling author Christine Carlson,
co author of the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
series, and acclaimed book editor Deborah
Evans, this program has helped hundreds of
writers navigate the book creation and platform
building process from idea to
publication. Christine recently joined me on the
Midlife Makeover show to talk about navigating life's
(02:28):
transitions. And if you love that conversation,
imagine what you'll learn from her in this program.
The next session starts April 2, and this
could be your time to finally write that
book. If you've been dreaming of becoming an author.
This is your sign. Head to
tinyurl.com forward sl
(02:49):
book doulas that's
tinyurl.com
book doulas b o o k d o
u l a s to learn more and start
your journey today.
Welcome to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your host,
Wendy Valentine. And since we are now
settling into 2025, well, a
(03:11):
little bit, it's a great time to reassess
where we are and realign with what truly, truly
fulfills us. Today's guest, Celine
Chinoy, is an author, blogger and
podcaster dedicated to helping people live
authentically and create a life of
purpose. She's the creator of the Dream
Catcher. Love that name. An online community
(03:33):
that has inspired Thousands, with over 5
million readers and 300, 000 listeners and viewers
worldwide. In her book, the Nomadic
Soul, Celine reveals a revolutionary
framework for self discovery, exploring the six
core needs, three centered on freedom
and three on connection, that are essential for
(03:53):
living with purpose and joy. If you're feeling
called to embrace change. Oh, yes, you are. And
step into the best version of yourself this year.
You won't want to miss this conversation. Please
welcome Celine to the show.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:09):
Hello, Wendy. How are you doing
today?
>> Wendy Valentine (04:12):
That's my favorite part of the whole
episode. Doing the intro, I'm like,
yeah, you.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:19):
Totally gassed me up there. I love it, I loved it.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:22):
Welcome, welcome. Let's see, you're in Dubai and I'm
in Portugal. And the cool thing is we're talking
to people all over the world, which is so freaking awesome.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:31):
We're going global.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:33):
We're going global, baby. We're going global.
M Isn't it neat, though, that we can actually shine our
light just by getting on here and doing this?
I love it.
>> Seline Shenoy (04:42):
I know. And I, mean, I just love technology. We
wouldn't have been able to do this in the 90s or the 80s,
you know, when. When we grew up and we were kids.
Well, I was a kid.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:53):
Yeah, exactly.
So question for you. first of all, I
love the name. Well, I love the other, the. The community
name, the Dream Catcher, but then also the Nomadic
Soul. Uh-huh. What inspired you to
write this book?
>> Seline Shenoy (05:10):
Okay, so the Pneumatic Soul is an
archetype that I created to describe a personal
willingness to do deep inner
exploration both within ourselves and the
world around us. And the reason why I wrote it
is because I felt that
our society is becoming
increasingly more,
(05:32):
egocentric and more self
centered. And it felt like there
was a loss of depth
and a loss of
this Willingness to live in
alignment with our values and what's most
important to us. So I felt
that a book like this could help people
(05:54):
recalibrate and really check in with
themselves and figure out, okay,
what can I do to live,
in alignment with my highest self and
what's really important to me? Because I
think we're starting to
lose focus of that
(06:14):
because we are being
increasingly distracted by what's going
on outside. Obviously social media,
the technology universe,
it's taking away from the,
the time and the space that we used to have to go
within and, to really
reflect. So I think
(06:37):
this book hopefully would be
a reminder for people about,
hey, it's important to look within
and to really take note
of the things that truly
matter to you and to also create a,
create a character that
(06:57):
would not only make your life
better, but make the lives of other people
better. so, yeah, that's what motive
motivated me to write the Nomadic Soul.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:09):
Yeah, it was. I was just thinking though, isn't it
interesting how it seems like nowadays it's
almost. You have to like, try
really hard to carve out time
for yourself? I mean, we talk about self care a lot. Like,
oh, self care. Taking bathtubs and getting massage.
But to me, like, that is self care, right? It's
like soul care. Taking care of your soul
(07:32):
and really getting to know
yourself. And it's, it's a gift
that you can give to yourself because
it's so easy. I mean, I. Holding
up my phone right here, it's so easy to just
get caught up in all the superficial crap
and just scroll and scroll and scroll and next like an hour goes
by, it's like, oh my God, I could have been doing
(07:54):
something more valuable for myself. Which
actually, just like I was saying in the beginning of like
shining our light, being able to give more
to yourself, to the people around you, and even
to the whole world. It's like the butterfly effect.
>> Seline Shenoy (08:10):
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I love the term
soul care because that's precisely what
I'm prescribing in this book.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:18):
Yes.
>> Seline Shenoy (08:18):
And,
>> Wendy Valentine (08:18):
Yeah, yeah, we don't think about that though. We talk,
we talk so much about taking care of our
bodies, about our physical aspect and,
and emotional too. I mean, that's all very important.
Physical, mental and emotional, but at a
soul level, like to really get
there. So for some people, they can't. I
(08:39):
mean, even for myself too, it's like, it's tried. It's
hard to imagine how do I care for my soul, what do
I do to Actually get to that, those
deeper levels of myself and
bring that to the surface.
>> Seline Shenoy (08:53):
And if there's any conversation about soul care,
it's usually limited to
meditation, mindfulness, yoga, which
is all great, but for some people
that might be a bit too woo woo and
something that they'd rather not do, especially
men.
(09:14):
so I think
what's important is making it more accessible to
everybody and to say this is something that everybody can do.
Which is why I created this framework,
and where I really, really
outline the different needs of
our nomadic soul and I provide
(09:34):
very actionable steps that people
can apply in their daily
life. So it's very doable and it's not
something that is tied to an
ideology. So it,
it's something that everybody can do without feeling
like there in that realm of,
(09:55):
you know, being esoteric and being out there.
Because I think people are becoming
more and more secular and
less tied to kind
of organized systems of
belief. They want to have that free reign to
choose what they, what they want to
believe in. So that's
(10:17):
why I created a system which can do
that for them and give them
options.
>> Wendy Valentine (10:24):
options are good
nowadays.
So you talked about, the importance of freedom and
connection. So how are those, how do those two
forces actually go together?
>> Seline Shenoy (10:39):
Well, I think that as human beings we
have always had this
sense of curiosity and this need to really break
out of our mold and not be
limited by not just our physical
surroundings, but by
societal labels and the
expectations that are placed on us.
(11:01):
So I mean, freedom is such a big
word, right? It could mean so many things. It could
be, it could be just freedom,
human rights, freedom, right? Just live like a
human being and have your basic rights. Or it could be just freedom
to just do whatever you want,
whenever you want. And I think deep down
(11:22):
inside we all have that need. We
don't want people lording over us and telling us what
to do. so that is
the fundamental need which
I've identified across the board.
And connection. You said the second was connection.
What was the other one? Connection.
>> Wendy Valentine (11:42):
Yeah, freedom and connection.
>> Seline Shenoy (11:43):
And connection is we're social beings,
right? We need to be anchored
in relationships of all
kinds. First of all, the relationship with ourself,
that is fundamental, right? Without that, unless
we're anchored in our own being, we
can't form a relationship with anybody else
(12:04):
or anything else. Right? We'll just
be like floating in the void,
like we won't have anything to ground us. so
first of all, developing that connection with ourselves and Then
connecting with other people.
We're social beings right from the beginning, since the
caveman days, we needed community.
(12:24):
So, that
form of connection is essential. And then connecting
with nature, other creatures,
and then a force higher, bigger than
ourselves, you know, whether you call it God,
you know, you know, whatever it is that you
connect with. That sense of otherworldliness
and that transcendence. We all
(12:47):
need that. So I believe
that these are two sides of a coin.
Freedom, the need for freedom and the need for connection.
And by fulfilling these
needs, we will be able
to achieve a sense of wholeheartedness
and really achieve that sense of fulfillment that we're
all seeking.
>> Wendy Valentine (13:08):
Yeah, it's funny, I was thinking about
the word freedom the other day because, just like
you said, like, it means something different to everyone.
In the last two episodes I've had, one was about being
bold, one was about being radical.
And I'm like, okay, what does that actually mean? You
know, and. Because it means something different to
(13:28):
everyone and at different stages in
life. And just like, freedom. I
mean, I. I can remember at one point,
freedom meant for me to be able to,
you know, like, to have a job that I could travel and I could, you know,
I could work remotely. That was. That was part of the freedom that I
was wanting. I wanted the freedom to be able to
(13:49):
do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Not have
ask someone, do, what do you want to do? You know?
And then. And then at one point, like, the deeper
I went into. To my soul care, my
nomadic soul, right? A lot of my freedom
was freedom from myself,
from the limiting thoughts, from all of
the doubt and the. In the BS that I would
(14:12):
tell myself. Like, I wanted freedom
from basically the ego, right? Like, I
wanted my soul to just be able to
breathe. And I. And I wasn't being
held back from anything. So I
think, like, it's a. It's an important question, that everyone
needs to ask himself, like, what does freedom
(14:33):
mean to me? Within your.
Within yourself? I mean, there's again, like, there can be
freedom, external freedoms, and then there's
internal. Like, what is that internal freedom
mean to you? What does it mean to you?
>> Seline Shenoy (14:48):
Oh, first of all, I just want to acknowledge
the point that you just made.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:52):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (14:52):
Freedom from ourselves, those limiting
beliefs, those fears
that we have,
trauma, those demons within us.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:03):
Ah.
>> Seline Shenoy (15:04):
that is. That is such a good point.
And, I love the way you define freedom.
And I would. I
would actually say the same. That's.
That's definitely One aspect of freedom,
for me, but I think freedom for
me is to not be limited
(15:24):
by social expectation
and labels that are placed upon
me. And this is heavily influenced by
my cultural upbringing because that has
definitely, impacted me
as an Asian woman. And we have to deal
with this cultural baggage.
and I think just the freedom
(15:47):
to be, the kind of woman that I want to
be and not be, kind of
limited by the mold that has been laid
out by culture. and I know
this is something that women all over the world
face, but definitely in
more conservative,
collectivistic cultures where
(16:09):
roles are kind of predetermined.
It becomes more of
a burden that women have to
face. And I think it's the same for
men as well. they too have to deal, with a lot of
expectations, from
society. So for me, yeah, that feels freedom
is really predicated,
(16:32):
on the cultural
impact that's been
pervasive in my life.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:40):
Yeah, I totally agree. And I, also,
when you think about it, it's like when you define what does
freedom mean to you at this point in your
life and then what are you willing to do
about it? Because
we could say like, okay, this is holding me
back and I can't have freedom from this and this and
this. But are
(17:02):
you, you're also the one that has
the ability and the
control to do something with
that in order to achieve that freedom.
And that's, I think, the scary part.
>> Seline Shenoy (17:19):
Yeah. And I think, Wendy, we,
we have more power than we realize.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:24):
I know, I know.
Yeah. I, see it all the time. I, I, I,
I know. I totally.
>> Seline Shenoy (17:31):
We kind of just given and surrender, like,
this is my life and there's
nothing I can do to change it. And oh, it's going
to be too much work. I don't want to rock the boat.
But, you know, the door is right there in front of us and we have the
key to open it. We just have to,
we just have to see that and believe that we can do
(17:53):
that.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:54):
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I thought I
was, think I was doing, I'm doing some deep thinking lately,
y'all. I was thinking like
so many people I hear from people that have like, are going through
challenges in their life, no matter it's changing
a career or they have to sell their house or they're going
through a divorce or whatever it is, and they're so
(18:15):
focused on what they're going to have
to do, which is good. Like you, you got to think about those
things. But think about
where you will be on the other side
of it and trusting and have faith that you
will get through it. And
imagine that that woman that you will become
after you change your career and you're now,
(18:37):
like, you have new relationships and.
Or you move into a new place and all the different
experiences, whatever. Like,
imagine that, like the end
result. Because if you keep focusing
on the problems, then it's so
overwhelming, and then you just. You're so
stressed, it's harder to move forward. instead of just
(18:59):
going, okay, I got this. I can do it, I
can do it.
>> Seline Shenoy (19:04):
Yeah, yeah, that's. That's so beautifully said. I
think it's important to. Just to be pulled by the vision
versus just. Yeah, you,
know, wear those blinders and be
totally limited,
by all the things that can go wrong,
all those fears and listening to your inner
critic. You can't do it. Or, this can happen. That can happen.
(19:27):
You know? Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:29):
It's exhausting.
>> Seline Shenoy (19:31):
Those litany of excuses that are just
gonna drown the voice of your
wiser self or just saying, hey, you
really, really gotta get
going.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:42):
You know, I mean, you and I talked before
we hit record about becoming authors and
having a book out there. Like, it's a very
vulnerable feeling. I mean, and
it's like, absolutely. I think any.
>> Seline Shenoy (19:55):
Create any creative person, any creative field,
like, it's you. You have to put yourself out
there.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:01):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (20:01):
And it is.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:03):
Yeah. and. And it's just like this weird feeling.
And then every. It's almost like,
okay, wait, I thought I took care of that. Damn limiting
belief. It's back again.
And, you know, I mean, like, here it is in the next few
weeks, like, boom, here comes this book that I've been
waiting for. It's my dream. And I'm still like,
(20:23):
I hope everyone likes it. I feel like a little, you know, kid
again going, I hope they like it. What if they don't like
it? I'm like, okay, enough.
Like, that's enough. And you, You. You have to
almost talk yourself through some of this.
>> Seline Shenoy (20:39):
Yeah. And don't be afraid to reach out for
support. Have some friends or
have a coach or somebody.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:47):
And it's normal. It's normal, right?
>> Seline Shenoy (20:50):
I mean, it's. It's normal. Don't beat yourself up
if you know that, gremlin, inner gremlin
raises its ugly head. It's. It's
natural.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:59):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (21:01):
You know, so the, the key is to have a
game plan about how to handle it and
replace that voice with a voice that
is more supportive. like an inner coach, you know,
someone who will push you in a good way.
So just being prepared for that voice is,
Is important.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:19):
Yeah. I think when I first read,
Untethered Soul, that book,
>> Seline Shenoy (21:25):
Oh, I love that book.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:26):
Yes. It's. Yeah. It's one of my faves. And it's
just, it's so simple. There's nothing. It's not
rocket science. It's just very basic
teachings, very simplistic.
>> Seline Shenoy (21:36):
It. Yeah. It has its roots in Buddhism,
Buddhist teachings. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:41):
But I mean, I can remember that's when I first
really started listening to the chatter
in my mind. Like, wait
a second, who's. And my goal
was, is that I wanted the cheerleader in
my mind to be louder than my critic.
>> Seline Shenoy (21:58):
Absolutely. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:00):
And I was like, oh no. And every time some
type of negativity or self doubt or limiting
belief would creep in, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not gonna have it. Yeah.
It, it'll.
>> Seline Shenoy (22:14):
Sometimes you have to, you have to do the work to
really, explore, explore, explore it and see where
that voice is coming from. I worked with a coach
for, for a year to
m. Get to know that inner
critic and its origins and
really, you know, deal with it
(22:35):
and find ways to, to to quieten that voice.
It, it took a lot of work. Like I had to do a lot of
reflection. I had to do some you
know, some journaling. so I mean the
deeper entrenched it is in, the stronger that voice is.
I think the more, the more work you need to put
into, to detaching from it.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:56):
You know, I feel like the more. And yes,
it does take a lot of work to do all that. And it's
so worth it because the
more that you can take care of your soul, get to
really know yourself at that soul level,
the external stuff doesn't really
bother you that much anymore. You just kind of like you almost
(23:17):
don't see it or you don't hear it.
It's just so. It's like. It's just like noise. You
just like, whatever.
>> Seline Shenoy (23:24):
And, and that's incredibly liberating, Wendy. I
mean, one thing I love about getting freedom. One thing.
Yeah. That is freedom. That's one thing I love about getting
older and wiser. Like stuff doesn't
bother you as much as it used to.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:38):
No.
>> Seline Shenoy (23:39):
Really does. Especially if you've been doing the inner
work. like
you just, you just don't care anymore. Like people can
say whatever they want to say.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:49):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (23:49):
But if you know who you are. And you know what's
important to you and you know that you're
following your, your
highest path and your calling
it, doesn't matter what other people say.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:03):
Yeah.
Speaking of, a lot of people
will wonder, especially their 40s
and 50s and like life is like catching up and
they're like, wait a second, what is my purpose? You know,
like, what am, why am I here? What am I supposed
to be doing? So what, how, how does
someone help, you know, how do they arrive at
(24:24):
this is my purpose in life? This is what I should be
doing?
>> Seline Shenoy (24:28):
Yeah. This is a big juicy
question and I mean there have been so many
books written about this, but ah,
you know, with different types of modalities and
methodology. But I think the one that I
resonate most with is really paying
attention to the things that excite you
and call to you.
(24:52):
Just see what you're gravitating towards.
and I think that could be your biggest clue. It's like a treasure
trail, right? You gotta look like if you're
younger, and I know your audience is probably not
that young, but they probably have kids, right?
>> Wendy Valentine (25:06):
Young at heart.
>> Seline Shenoy (25:07):
Yeah, young at heart. Like encourage your
kids to just
follow, follow their interests and
to experiment and see,
ah, just try it on for size. I think
you have to be experimental, in the early
stages or even now if you're still not sure now
just try to experiment with a couple of things and
(25:30):
see what sticks and what really
gets you going. So I think
really staying tuned in and seeing
what really excites you and what really
calls to you and then refining that
and seeing how can that be expressed
in the world like in a tangible way. Because
we're living in a time where, I mean,
(25:52):
we can do all sorts of stuff like on the
Internet, like you can be like as a
creator, the sky is the limit. You do
everything. And that wasn't the case earlier. So
just, I think just follow,
follow that, that, that fire
within you. And then there definitely will be something
that really lights you up. So pay attention to
(26:15):
that. And I think that's the most, I like it
because it's very simple.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:20):
And simple's best. I mean,
I'm all about that and simple is best.
>> Seline Shenoy (26:25):
Don't complicate it and don't make it seem like it's this
big grand thing where you gotta save the
planet and it can be something
so, so simple, you
know? yeah, you know, because that's
intimidating. That's what intimidates people and blocks
Them from actually going there. Yes, you know,
but no, it could and it's okay.
(26:47):
The, the scale doesn't matter.
What, what matters is that you feel like you're making an
impact and. Yeah.
And it has your unique fingerprint.
>> Wendy Valentine (27:02):
Grab your Sharpie because it's time to.
Set solid, permanent boundaries in your
relationships and in your life. And why
do you need boundaries? Boundaries tell the world where
you draw the line. Where you say yes and where
you say no. Studies have shown that people
who have healthy boundaries have higher self esteem,
greater confidence, less burnout, a
(27:24):
greater sense of identity and less
stress. Being clear with your boundaries
means you are clear with who you are and how you
live your life. To help you set clear boundaries,
I created a free guidebook called the Boundary
Boss Blueprint. Please go to
Wendy Valentine.com
forward/boundary to receive your
(27:46):
free download. So you too can be a
boundary boss with less stress, less higher
self esteem, and greater health and
happiness. Yeah, I think from, you know, when
I look back, I,
one thing I learned is that your purpose is not
always a vocation, doesn't have to be a
career.
>> Seline Shenoy (28:06):
So true.
>> Wendy Valentine (28:07):
Yeah. And then, and then also, I mean
your soul itself is,
that is, its purpose is to just
be here. In other words, like you're not
trying to achieve something grand like you said, like to
accept who you are and what you're doing. It doesn't
matter. You, your purpose is multiple
(28:28):
things. I feel, and I, I feel like what you
do on your journey here
in this, you know, school of life
is learning in teach. I mean
we're all, we're all teachers and we're all learning, learner, we're all
students, we're all teachers. Right. We're all learning something.
We're all teaching something in multiple ways. And
(28:49):
with our family and even the barista
at Starbucks, we're all teaching and
we're all learning and it's just
taking all of those life lessons and just do,
do something good with it. It doesn't matter what it is.
Even if you're just planting flowers,
it doesn't make a difference. Like it doesn't have to
(29:09):
be one thing that you do. And
like that's my purpose. Like
for now.
>> Seline Shenoy (29:16):
Like yeah, you can have multiple purposes.
Doesn't have to be one. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:20):
And I mean I can remember for me again, I was, I
was so stressed trying
to find my purpose, I'm like what
am I supposed to be doing with my life? What am I mean? And,
but just like you said, the greatest thing I
did was to try multiple things.
I went to French pastry school, I
(29:41):
became a yoga instructor, I became a
meditation instructor, I became a
coach. I did all these things
to just try. I'm like, what the
hell?
>> Seline Shenoy (29:52):
What, what my question is, is there a thread
of commonality among all those things that you tried?
Because I'll bet there was.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:00):
Yeah, exactly. And I think that's what it is. That
when you start to try different things
and have different experiences,
you'll find the thread. Or actually I think the
thread finds you. It'll just be
like, yeah, you'll just start to like keep going
down the pathway and you're like, ah, I just feel good. I
(30:20):
don't know why, but I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing, you know?
>> Seline Shenoy (30:24):
Yeah, yeah. As you were speaking, I. I
just remember Jack Canfield, he has a really
good template that he's created
for defining your life purpose, which I don't
remember it off the top of my head, but I think it's.
You can find it in his book life
skills, like 59 life
skills or something. But he has such a handy
(30:46):
template that you can use. it's so
succinct and it really gets you to like
drill down to the basic components.
That's what I love about it. So that's a resource that I would offer
your listeners.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:58):
Yeah, it's. And really just tapping into your
strengths and what do you like to do? What do you
want to do? And yeah, yeah, just go with
that.
>> Seline Shenoy (31:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, simplify, simplify.
Don't overcomplicate it.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:13):
Do you make New Year's resolutions?
>> Seline Shenoy (31:20):
Well, not really because
I'm. I just create
like. I create goals for. I create annual
goals, quarterly goals, monthly goals.
So it's a ritual that
I, I do anyway, so there's. For
me, it's just. I don't
know, for me, I. It. It's not something,
(31:43):
it's not something that I partake in because it's already
built into my system.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:48):
Yeah, I'm the same way. I mean, I think it's like the new year
rolls around, it's always kind of like a nice time
to like reset and regroup. I never really liked the
word like resolution because
you're trying to resolve meaning, like there's
something wrong.
>> Seline Shenoy (32:03):
You know what I mean?
>> Wendy Valentine (32:04):
Like so true there's something wrong or there's
something missing or there needs to be a
correction. Like not really. You're just resetting.
>> Seline Shenoy (32:12):
Yeah, I do like. I do like to do an
Annual review. I, like to look back on the
year that's passed and kind of just
highlight the key moments, the
milestones, the learnings, what went
right, what I could have done better, and then
kind of extract all of that and
(32:33):
let that inform, like, what I do the next
year. So that is something that I like to
do at the end of the year.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:41):
Yeah. Yeah. I think everyone probably needs
to just figure out what works for them.
You know, if New Year's resolutions work and studies have
shown it works for you, then great. If
not, then maybe try something different.
>> Seline Shenoy (32:57):
Yeah, absolutely. And now there are so many options out there,
but different systems and, ways
of thinking about your life and, your
objectives.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:06):
Yeah. So I know that, like, we were.
We were talking about what is freedom, what is bold,
what is radical. You know, what does it mean to connect
all that?
Another, another term that's been popping up, lately
is authentic self. And I
had someone ask me the other day, or they. Or she had said,
I really just. I want to be my authentic self.
(33:27):
I'm like, well, who is that? Who is your
authentic self? So how does someone actually
get to know their authentic self?
And most importantly, to be their authentic
self?
>> Seline Shenoy (33:42):
Yeah. I have a love hate relationship with that
term.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:46):
I know.
>> Seline Shenoy (33:48):
Yeah. I. I have a
whole chapter dedicated to developing,
your identity. it's the freedom to develop an
authentic identity. Right.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:59):
I like that.
>> Seline Shenoy (34:01):
And in that, in that
chapter, I lay out,
you know, a step by step process where you can actually
unravel the authentic part of you.
So it goes down from the superficial layers, which
are, you know, the roles that you play in life. You
know, I'm a doctor, I'm a
(34:22):
father, I'm, I don't know, a
stamp collector, whatever.
>> Wendy Valentine (34:26):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (34:27):
I am a Christian. Right. And
then it kind of goes down to
the core of who you are. And that
entails, you know, your
values, what's important to you, what are your
standards, the, you
know, the causes that really matter to
you. So I think it's almost like
(34:49):
that part of you that really is at the
crux of your being,
sort of like that
inner compass within you that really guides
your decisions. And I think it's important to know what
that compass is,
so that you are not run by other
(35:09):
forces. So getting
really clear about those
intangible, aspects
of yourself. Because we are, Wendy. We're all driven
by something. Right. We all have things that drive
us. And it's important to kind
of grapple with that. And Know what drives
you, because if you don't,
(35:32):
you could be, influenced by other. Other
people and, other norms.
So I think that authentic self is
that core being of you that
comprises, all those. Those, really,
deep qualities that
really matters, to you.
(35:52):
And I think that stays pretty much the
same. It doesn't really change.
And learning how to express that in a
way that is,
That. That
feels real and
that would benefit the
world.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:12):
Yeah, I was think, too, that
I was saying earlier about we're all, you
know, teachers and students. We're
learning. Right. And a lot of
it is the unlearning.
It's unlearning what is not us.
Whether, that's been taught by culture,
(36:34):
religion, society, friends,
family, the upbringing, I think.
>> Seline Shenoy (36:39):
Would you really think that's who they are? That's. People think that's
who they are.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:43):
Right. exactly. And. And some people are very,
very proud of their labels. And, in
fact, I was at. I got trained at the Chopra
center, and.
>> Seline Shenoy (36:53):
Oh, I want to go there. I really want to go
there.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:57):
Yeah, there it was insane. Or in Carlsbad, I met
Deepak Chopra.
>> Seline Shenoy (37:01):
Twice, and I told him like, hey, I want to go there. And he's like, yeah, you
should come.
>> Wendy Valentine (37:05):
Like, oh, he's a hoot. Yeah. But I can
remember, I did one of the retreats,
and he was asking.
>> Seline Shenoy (37:12):
We.
>> Wendy Valentine (37:13):
We had to answer the question, who am I?
And naturally you were like, oh, you
know, I'm a doctor, I'm a woman, I'm a
sister, I'm, you know, I.
I'm a baker, I'm a cook, I'm a this, I'm a
that. It's like, nope, nope, nope. Like, and you keep going
underneath it. And then it's just like, I
(37:33):
am just. And. And that's another
important question that we need to ask ourselves. Like, who are
you underneath all of
those labels? Who are you
really? Yeah, because, I mean,
you come into the world with no labels, and you're going to leave the
world with no labels. So it's like, who are
you underneath all of that? And that's
(37:56):
the. To me, it's the.
It's the intangible that is the most powerful.
It's what. It's the invisible that is more. The invisible
is way more powerful than the
visible. And I think once. But yeah, once
we can grasp that, knowing that we're more
than the body, that we're, you
know, that we're cruising through in this lifetime.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:18):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:18):
You know, like, we're more than these Thoughts and these
beliefs and the.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:24):
You hear on the news, the conditioned thinking.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:26):
Yes. I mean we're.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:28):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:28):
So much more than all of
that. Like you strip away all of that.
That's like. That's the good stuff.
That's.
That's the that.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:43):
Hello.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:43):
Not the candy wrapper. Right.
>> Seline Shenoy (38:46):
Yeah. But there. A lot
of people are terrified about facing that part of
themselves. You'd be surprised. Yeah. So
they drown it. They just, I don't know,
they kind of just try to mask it with
escapism. Like they try to drink it. Drink
or like take drugs or like
shop too much or, you know,
(39:09):
they don't want to face that side of themselves for whatever
reason. Or they might just think it's.
Why bother? Like what, what good is it gonna do? Right?
Like it's just better to swim on the shallow end of the
pool. or maybe they just don't know how.
It's like completely out of their.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:26):
Completely.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:27):
you know, they don't know how to do it.
It's not within their.
Within their bandwidth of thinking and
you.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:36):
Right, exactly like. And you have to really want it.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:39):
Yeah, you have to really want it and.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:42):
Yeah. Because I mean, I don't know if.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:43):
You'Ve ever m. Talked to. Sorry. go ahead.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:46):
No, go ahead, you go first.
>> Seline Shenoy (39:49):
I don't know if you've ever spoken to anyone who's like an old
timer or like people
who came from a time when they were just in survival
mode. Right. People who grew up during
the Depression or the world wars.
And for them it's just like that was a
luxury. So we have to acknowledge that.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:09):
Ah.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:09):
To tap into that part
of ourselves is a privilege.
A lot of human beings in history were not able to do that because
they were just keeping their head above the
water.
so people from older generations
who are lit or even like people who are living in war
zones right now, that's not something that they
(40:32):
consider. So I think, it's important to
make a note of that.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:37):
Yeah, very true. And yeah.
And at the same time, like you hear
how was the name of that? M.
the Holocaust survivor. The book.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:49):
Oh yeah, Edith. Edith. Eva.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:52):
That one.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:53):
And there's another Victor Frankl. The one who.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:55):
Victor Frankl.
>> Seline Shenoy (40:56):
Yeah, yeah, Frankel. Frankel. I spoke to an expert,
he's like, it's Frankel.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:02):
But kind of going back to what we were saying before
about like we're really the ones that imprison
ourselves. And like you look at these
people that I Mean,
we're in these extreme. The, the worst conditions
that you can possibly imagine.
>> Seline Shenoy (41:19):
Yeah. But it's interesting, Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:21):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (41:21):
Even within those circumstances, Frank said
you they could find freedom.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:26):
That's what I'm just going to say.
>> Seline Shenoy (41:28):
Finding a sense of meaning and
really. Because that's all they had in those times.
That's all they could hold on to.
Hope and just
trying to wrap their heads around their
circumstances and be like. Because they're like, why? This is
just m. And they had to really dig deep
to find. To create a narrative that
(41:51):
worked for them and
made them feel better in that moment, despite all
the atrocities that they were going through.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:59):
Yeah, yeah. You think, like,
it would be so easy to just go sit in a cave,
you know, in lotus position and achieve peace.
You know what I mean? But really
the key is to be in the world but not
of it is to be in the midst of
all of this chaos in the world
(42:20):
and still be at peace and to still
have that freedom and to still have the
connection like that.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:27):
That's the ultimate challenge.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:29):
That's the old. Yeah, exactly. that's, that's nirvana.
That's like.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:33):
That is nirvana.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:34):
That's the exhale of the soul. Yeah, yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:37):
I mean that's not to say that modern day
problems are not
something that, yeah. That, that can hurt us
or that can, They're
still hard. I mean, pain is pain, right?
>> Wendy Valentine (42:51):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (42:52):
So, I think just the human
condition is universal and I think we just need to,
find things, find techniques, find ways of
thinking and mindsets that
can work for us and help
us navigate all of these storms that we all
inevitably will go through.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:12):
Oh, yeah, I know.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:14):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:14):
I mean, I mean if you can, you know, make it out
of here without any,
any bruises or scars like. Holy
moly.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:23):
Yeah. it's impossible. It's impossible.
You. Unless you're a monk who's living in a secluded
monastery.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:30):
Exactly.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:31):
It's impossible.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:33):
I know. And I, you know, I think
about, I think about my audience a lot. I think about my
listeners a lot. And okay,
we're, we're all here, you know, most likely between the ages
of 40 and 60. Ish, whatever.
I do have some, you know, younger peeps listening too,
which is cool.
>> Seline Shenoy (43:51):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:52):
But you think at this age, like,
we have friends that are starting to pass away, our
parents are passing away,
relatives. Yeah. I mean, there are people are,
you know, getting cancer or. There's
lots of struggles and
challenges, like right in our faces
at this stage in life. And
(44:14):
this is I always. I try my
best in my own life because that's all I can
control, is me. If there's any
challenge that pops up, I always pause and go,
okay, what can I learn from this? How can I
grow from this and just try
to. You make the best of it. Whatever
(44:34):
it is, you do the best you can. That's all you
can do.
>> Seline Shenoy (44:39):
Yeah. No, I. I love that you bring that up, because
it's so easy to get cynical and get
jaded as we go through really
difficult, you know, situations in life
and as we lose people who are dear to us. You know,
just the other day, I was reflecting on all the people that,
I've lost, and I was just. It really
(44:59):
got me down. But then I had to
do what. What you did. Like, really, be
grateful for the times that I shared with
them and, learn how to
accept the
finality of death and the transient nature
of life. I think that is something that
all. All of us need to grapple
(45:22):
with as we get older. because
when you're younger, you feel like your. Your
time horizon's pretty. Pretty.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:29):
Yeah, you're like.
>> Seline Shenoy (45:30):
You feel like you're gonna. You feel like you're gonna live
forever. You're a rock star, your friends are gonna be
around you forever. And,
yeah, we. That's not something that we need to face. But,
yeah, as we get older, we're like,
okay, you know, this is gonna end
someday, and I'm gonna lose people I
love, and tragedies,
(45:53):
happen. Bad things happen.
So we have to resist getting
to that place of cynicism and really,
try to. Try to focus
on the beauty of life and what we're
grateful for and the goodness that's there on this planet.
Because there's plenty. There's
(46:15):
plenty.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:15):
Oh, I know. Exactly. It's whatever you focus
on. It's like the quote from,
Is it Mary Oliver? She says, what will you do with
your one wild and precious life?
>> Seline Shenoy (46:28):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:29):
Yeah. I mean, your life is so precious. Like,
it's. I try to remind myself of
that. I'm like, holy crap, again. I'm just. I'm hoping I can
get it all done before I go, you know?
>> Seline Shenoy (46:41):
Yeah. I think being very intentional in how you spend
your time, I think that becomes increasingly
more important as you get older.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:49):
Yeah. I mean, going back to your saying, it's like, you get to a point
where you're like, just don't care about stupid crap. Because you're
like, no, my life.
>> Seline Shenoy (46:56):
You can't. Yeah, life is for short, don't waste
it, don't waste your energy on,
on people who don't deserve it or on
situations that are going nowhere. Because if you
listen to your gut, you'll know that
when something is not working out or is not
for you, but we're just too scared to, like, listen
(47:16):
and to really, like, acknowledge,
that, but we do know, like, especially by
our age, Wendy, we do. We, we have
that, that intuitive feeling that
this, this is going nowhere and just to have the courage to
let go and try something different.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:34):
Pivot when you need to pivot. Oh, yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (47:38):
Permission to pivot.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:39):
I like that I
give you permission to pivot. You may.
>> Seline Shenoy (47:44):
Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:47):
So, last question for you. What, what is
a meaningful, fulfilling life?
What does that mean to you.
>> Seline Shenoy (47:57):
A meaningful and fulfilling
life?
I think it's feeling,
feeling a sense of accomplishment, I think
through my creative efforts.
And I feel like
(48:17):
creativity has been very healing for me. When I started writing
my blog around 10 years ago,
and just being able
to express myself and what I believe in, I feel
like that brought so much meaning to
me. so.
And of course, if it can impact other people in
(48:39):
a positive way, that's, that's a bonus. And that's
what happened. And I can tell you
all the other superficial stuff
took a backseat, you know?
>> Wendy Valentine (48:50):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (48:51):
There was a phase in my life where I was
kind of in the social circuit. I was, I,
and I was not a big party animal, but I was
a bit of a socialite. and I felt kind, I
felt lost. I mean, I had
fun up to a certain point, but then later on I was
like, I'm getting tired of this. Right? I'm
(49:11):
not feeling, not doing it for me
anymore. I felt that
I was just not getting satiated. Even
though I was wearing nice dresses, I
was, you know, hanging out with popular kids and,
go to nice houses. For a certain point, I said,
I just, I don't want to do this anymore.
(49:33):
And then I thought to myself,
okay, what can I do? And
I always had the sense that
I was burdened by my potential. I felt like there was
something in me that needed to birth. So
then I, I, I
heard from a lot of people about my writing skills and that
(49:53):
I should give vlogging a try. And then I started that
and I, I never looked
back because I, I couldn't believe how much
happiness I got from just channeling all
those ins, those, the inspiration that I
had within me. That's
definitely something that, is Part of
(50:14):
having a meaningful life for me, like
creativity, creative freedom, and
also finding a community
of people that I can have a good,
relationship with. I think that's become increasingly more
important to me as I've, you know,
as I've gotten older. in the past, I felt like I
was a bit of a. I was more
(50:36):
independent. But then, now I feel like I want to have. I want
to cultivate more meaningful relationships.
and that's something that's. I've been focusing on for the
past two years. so I think
having meaningful connections,
and having really stimulating,
exchanges with people.
>> Wendy Valentine (50:58):
Deeper. A deeper connection.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:00):
Deeper, deeper connection. I think
that's something we all need, especially
now when people are feeling more and more
lonely, you know?
>> Wendy Valentine (51:10):
isn't that interesting?
>> Seline Shenoy (51:12):
Yeah. And I. I think that
you can go it alone, really. Don't. Don't even
try. Don't even try. Like, get out
there. Join groups. Join
organizations.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:24):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:25):
Join online forums. I mean, I'd prefer
meeting, people in person, like we used
to in the past.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:33):
So the old days.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:34):
Yeah, the old days. Go out for a coffee with
friends. Like, just. Just do it. Like, you
could feel so much. So much
better. And.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:43):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (51:44):
Especially if you're a creative person or someone who
works alone a lot, you definitely need to get
out because
we, as social beings, we need connection. I mean,
we need that. It's just something
that. That, yeah. even for me, like, m. Makes us
come alive.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:02):
Yeah. Like, I work alone a lot
because I'm doing a lot of writing and stuff for the show and all
that, and right now I'm. I'm teaching
my. My Freedom at Midlife program. And it's.
We meet once a week, and it's so nice. I look forward
to it because I'm like, there you go.
Because as you know, too, being a podcast
(52:22):
host, it's sometimes can be like a monologue.
You're just, like, sitting here and you're like, is anyone.
You don't really get to interact. We get to interact with our
podcast guests. So you get to interact with
your audience. And so it's. It's
anyone listening. Like, no one's saying
anything, literally. Like, I think
so.
>> Seline Shenoy (52:42):
Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:43):
Connect with the other.
>> Seline Shenoy (52:44):
I get it.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:45):
And in a more soulful,
level, instead of the
typical, like, you know, superficial
type of relationships. So it's. It's
good. Yeah. Like, I mean, that was good advice because you. There are
so many ways to connect with other people out there in the world.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:03):
Like, yeah. And, be more resourceful,
like, and creative in, in terms
of, like, where are you going to go to find them? You know,
like. Yeah, like what? Like you went to the
Chopra Center. I'm sure you met a lot of like minded people there.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:17):
Oh, my God, yes.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:19):
There you go.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:20):
I was gonna say too. Sometimes you'll stumble, you know,
upon your, you know, your purpose when
you're meeting these other people and doing other things.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:28):
So true.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:29):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:31):
You can make really valuable connections, you
know.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:34):
Yes.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:35):
Business as well. So there's. It's a win. Win. Really.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:38):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (53:38):
Ah.
>> Wendy Valentine (53:39):
So where can we find you and how do we get your
book?
>> Seline Shenoy (53:43):
Thanks for asking. you can learn more about me.
and you can listen to my podcast, the Dreamcatcher
podcast, on celineshinoy.comm. you can
follow me on Instagram at Celine
Chinoy and you can purchase
the book wherever books are sold.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:00):
It's a pretty cover too. I like it.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:03):
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:05):
I know you're not supposed to judge the book by its cover,
but I do and it's good.
It's really good. Yeah. The nomadic.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:13):
Yeah, I've got, I've got a few compliments on
the. Yeah, I'm very happy with the,
with the team, the design team and my publisher.
They did a really good job. Yeah, I mean, I gave them,
I sent them a mood board and I told them my basic, like,
what the vision I had for it and
they just did their magic. Gorgeous.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:33):
Yeah.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:33):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:34):
thank you so much. It was great to meet you, Wendy.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:36):
Thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:37):
Yeah, so much.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:38):
It was such a pleasure to be on your show. You are a
wonderful host. You're so vivacious. You're full of
energy. I just love it. And your branding
is on point.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:47):
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I try. No, it matches me.
It's. It's my absolutely,
absolutely authentic branding.
>> Seline Shenoy (54:55):
Keep being you. Keep.
>> Wendy Valentine (54:57):
Yes. Oh, thank you.
All right, everyone, have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge
you, Trigger you to make a change, or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you
can thank me. Number one, you can leave a written
review of this podcast on Apple iTunes.
Number two, you can take a screenshot of the episode
(55:18):
and share it onto social media and tag me.
Wendy, Balance time. Number three, share it
with another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know
who I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening
to the show. Get out there and be bold,
be free, be.
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