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September 23, 2025 44 mins

In this heartfelt episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, Wendy Valentine sits down with author and connection expert Shari Leid to talk about her inspiring journey of sharing 51 meals across America. Shari reveals how breaking bread with strangers transformed her understanding of belonging, courage, and what it truly means to feel at home. Together, Wendy and Shari explore how small acts—like inviting someone new to lunch—can heal loneliness, deepen friendships, and help us create meaningful connections at midlife and beyond.

 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why connection is the antidote to loneliness in midlife
  • Shari’s powerful lessons from sharing meals in all 50 states
  • How to flip the box on limiting labels and create belonging
  • Simple ways to spark new friendships and deepen old ones
  • How courage, curiosity, and community lead to a more fulfilling life

 

✨Read the blog:  296 ❤️ Feel Less Alone: Simple Ways to Reconnect at Midlife with Shari Leid at https://wendyvalentine.com/feel-less-alone/ 

 

🎧 Tune in now at https://TheMidlifeMakeoverShow.com or wherever you listen to podcasts!

 

👉 Connect with Shari

https://animperfectlyperfectlife.com

 

🌟 Explore All Things Midlife & More

https://wendyvalentine.com

 

📖 Order Your Copy of Women Waking Up

https://womenwakingup.com

 

📸 Follow My Midlife Adventures on IG!

https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_/

 

📝 Get Weekly Midlife Inspiration on Substack

https://wendyvalentine.substack.com/

 

 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Shari Leid (00:00):
As I said, I was adopted while I was orphaned and

(00:02):
I was found in a cardboard box. So I was found
without any. A name, without, you know, a name, a
birth date, a birthplace. So no identifying
information. And so as I traveled and I mentioned,
you know, I'd been asking about home, I realized
my entire life I'd been looking for a home. And my
turn life, I'd been looking for connection. But
what I had done, I realized as I. Especially as I

(00:25):
was writing the book, I had taken that box that
had told me, you know, all my life that I didn't
belong, that I wasn't connected to anyone, that
cardboard box. And symbolically, I'd flipped it
and made it a table where connection was found and
belonging was created. So that's why this movement
has become the Flip the Box movement.

>> Wendy Valentine (00:44):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your
host of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's
never too late to wake up to your best life.
Whether you're navigating a career change, empty
nesting, menopause, or wondering what's next,
you're in the right place. Every week I'll bring
you real talk, laughs and inspiring conversations

(01:05):
with experts and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding
freedom. This is your time to reinvent, rediscover
and reignite the woman you were always meant to
be. So hit that subscribe button and let's rewrite
the rules of midlife. Your new adventure starts

(01:26):
now. If you haven't heard the news yet, my book,
Women Waking up the Midlife Manifesto for Passion,
Purpose and Play is finally here ready for you to

(01:48):
read, soak up the wisdom and change your life.
This isn't just another self help book. It's a
step by step guide to help you break free from
what's holding you back, rediscover your strengths
and design a life that feels full of purpose, joy
and freedom. Whether you're navigating divorce,

(02:08):
career changes, health struggles, or just that
restless midlife feeling, these seven steps will
help you reinvent yourself and step into the next
chapter with confidence. You can grab the book
wherever books are sold in digital, paperback and
even audio read by yours truly. Plus, you'll get

(02:29):
over $500 in bonuses that go along with the book,
including the Women Waking up playbook, guided
meditations and a digital vision board. Just head
to womenwakingup.com and one quick favor, if
you've already grabbed your copy, thank you from
the bottom of my heart. Please take a moment to

(02:51):
leave A review on Amazon. With over 40 million
books on Amazon, your review makes this one more
visible so other women can find it too. And
together, we can change lives. So grab your copy,
leave a review, and let's wake up to our best
selves together.

(03:11):
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm,
your host, Wendy Valentine, and today's guest is
living proof that one meal can change a life and
maybe even change the world. Meet Sherry Lead,
former litigator, mindset coach, friendship
expert, and now the author of the inspiring new

(03:31):
travel Memoir, table for 51 lessons learned from
sharing meals across America. In 2023, Sherry set
out on a powerful mission to fight loneliness and
division by breaking bread in all 50 states. She
sat down with strangers and old acquaintances
alike, hoping to prove that human connection is

(03:53):
possible, no matter our differences. In this
episode, we'll hear about the life changing,
stories from her journey, the surprising lessons
she learned at those 51 tables, and how a
cardboard box from her infancy became a beautiful
metaphor for transformation. Sherry is also the

(04:14):
founder of the hashtag flip the box movement,
encouraging people to break free from labels and
rediscover the humanity in us all. Get ready for a
heart opening conversation that will make you want
to invite someone new to lunch tomorrow.
Please welcome Sherry to the show.

>> Shari Leid (04:34):
Hello. Hello. Oh, I like that. Invite somebody to
lunch tomorrow. Let's just start out with a good
challenge.

>> Wendy Valentine (04:41):
I know. I was just thinking that for myself, I'm
like, I should do that tomorrow. You know, I feel
like once everybody.

>> Shari Leid (04:47):
Is happy when they have food. I know. Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (04:51):
It's funny. I, The last four days, I. And I'm sure
you can probably appreciate this last four days I
was in a cave in a studio where recording the
audio version of my book. That is so hard.

>> Shari Leid (05:05):
Have you done that before?

>> Wendy Valentine (05:07):
No. good.

>> Shari Leid (05:10):
That with this book.

>> Wendy Valentine (05:11):
Yeah. I kind of thought it wasn't. I was like, no
problem, right? I mean, we talk all the time, you
know, So I was like, yeah, not a big deal, but you
have to not just concentrate. But then, I mean, I
was drinking tea or Rama. And the place, the
studio I went to was way here in Madeira, like.

>> Shari Leid (05:28):
At the top of the mountain.

>> Wendy Valentine (05:30):
By the time I got up there, I was like, out of
breath. Breath just because the altitude. I was
like, oh, my God. Like the last word that I read
in my book, I was freaking excited. So it was
hard.

>> Shari Leid (05:45):
I don't know about you, but I'm like, I am never
going to write these two words next to each other.
Why can I not say these two without stumbling.

>> Wendy Valentine (05:54):
I have so many tongue twisters. I was like, why
did I. Yeah, exactly. Why did I put those words,
four of them together? You know, I'll be like, But
I'm gonna make a comeback.
Well, welcome to the show. It's so. Thank you to
have you here. And no coincidence that yesterday I

(06:15):
interviewed this lady. Her name is Amy Daughters,
and she is the author of the book, Dear, Dear
Dana. And her whole thing was, about writing
letters to everyone on her Facebook, and it was
about connection. And here it is today with your
story and all about being connected more. I think

(06:37):
we crave that now, don't you?

>> Shari Leid (06:41):
Yeah. And you know what's interesting about that,
too, is when I was traveling around the US Meeting
with, it was a one. One woman in every state, and
I was looking for connection. What started to
happen was it felt like I had one teacher, and
just the voice and the body changed. So as you
described that you just were speaking to Amy
yesterday, and here we are talking about

(07:02):
connection today, and it just kind of naturally
flows. That's what that reminds me of.

>> Wendy Valentine (07:08):
That was. I really like what you just said. That
was a. I have goosebumps. That was a nice little
aha right there.

>> Shari Leid (07:15):
Yeah, it was amazing. It's almost, you know,
without me intentionally trying. It was as if the
conversation was continuing and what. Whatever
issue came up in the previous conversation,
somehow the next woman would tell me a personal
story that matched. And it was all these

(07:35):
incredible.

>> Wendy Valentine (07:37):
Just kind of. It was like a nice, harmonious.

>> Shari Leid (07:40):
Yes, but one teacher, different faces, different
voices, different experiences. And it felt like
one teacher, though.

>> Wendy Valentine (07:46):
Oh, that is so cool. You know, I've always been
fascinated with the word universe. Uni, meaning
one versus song. And all of us, we are one note,
each of us note within the song and creating
harmony. And we think about it, when we do connect
more together, it does create this harmony within,

(08:09):
individually and collectively. It's pretty
fascinating.

>> Shari Leid (08:13):
Oh, yeah. It's, absolutely amazing, even. And I'm
jumping around, so I don't want to jump around too
much, but I actually got to see many of the women
together at my book launch that wouldn't have
typically met, and it was beautiful.

>> Wendy Valentine (08:28):
Okay. All right. So what sparked this whole thing?
Were you, like, just sitting there one day going,
you know what? I'm gonna, like, drive around to
all the states and meet some. You know, meet some
people and then even, like, eating with them. How
did all of this come about?

>> Shari Leid (08:42):
Yeah, well, so, you know, I'm in my 50s, and I've
never traveled the U.S. i tell this, I, I, I had
the opportunity to travel internationally quite a
bit, but not my own country.

>> Wendy Valentine (08:53):
Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (08:53):
And so I thought, okay, if I'm going to do this.
And I knew I was going to do most of this travel
by myself. and I did mo, I think, except for three
states. Four states I was married at the time, and
my ex came with me on four of those. But I
thought, okay, if I'm going to do this by myself,
I better do it now and not wait till, you know,
later, because I, I could physically do it now.

(09:14):
And, and I, thought, okay, what makes places
interesting? Is it the monuments? Not so much. You
know, and people, people make places interesting.
And so that's kind of how the idea sparked. On a
personal note, I didn't travel the US because my
parents, who adopted me, I'm adopted. They were

(09:36):
Japanese American. They were born here in the U.S.
but they, because of their age, they were interned
during World War II, placed in internment camps
because of their heritage. So I grew up with the
belief that I wouldn't be welcome everywhere in
the U.S. and so we stayed to the west coast, and I
wanted to personally rewrite that belief and
believe that I was welcome everywhere.

>> Wendy Valentine (09:55):
Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (09:55):
And on a global, bigger, scale, you know, we had
just come out of the pandemic, and, you know, in
the US we're dealing with so much political and
racial strife. We got into our own physical
bubbles, but also our emotional and mental
bubbles. And I wanted to show that we can step out

(10:17):
of those bubbles. Those things don't matter. We
could sit down and share a meal with anyone, and
doesn't matter who we voted for, what we look
like, what our economic class is, where we went to
school, and we could have a conversation and
connect.

>> Wendy Valentine (10:30):
Did you feel more connected then as you went along
on the journey and feel more accepted in all areas
of the country?

>> Shari Leid (10:41):
I did. And I, I, you know, I start to, I, didn't
have anything like you. I, I like to have
conversations. I didn't have a list of questions.
It wasn't an interview. It was an organic
conversation at a table. But I did find one of the
questions I kept asking over and over again,
especially for women who in the, who relocated to

(11:01):
an area where feels like home to you, where feels
like home? Why does this feel like home? And
during this, I realized that part of this journey,
I've been looking for a home and what home feels
like my entire life. And I flew back and forth
from Washington state, where I'm based. And I

(11:24):
start to wonder, why does it not feel like home?
when I was flying to this place I grew up in, and
in this home that my ex husband I had remodeled,
it was beautiful. So much of my personality was in
it. Why does the space not feel like home? And
these strange places I'd never been to feel more
like home. So that's what evolved as well in my

(11:45):
journeys. Not just finding connection, finding a
place that feels like home and how, how to create
that.

>> Wendy Valentine (11:50):
And what do you think that was? What do you think
the answer with that question, why, why was that
not feeling like home and other areas that were
new to you felt more like home to you?

>> Shari Leid (12:01):
well, I keep on calling him my ex husband. So I
realized it was the person I was coming home to no
longer felt like home to me. And the connections I
felt with these women, and many of them were
absolute strangers. And the ones I had some
connection with, I had not met with in decades. So

(12:22):
essentially they were strangers as well. Or we had
just passed maybe at a conference and never sat
down together. And it was that connection, that
piece that we're just talking from the heart and
very curious, that felt like home. the kindness
people shared felt like home. And I start to
realize that I could create home. you know.

>> Wendy Valentine (12:45):
Yeah, exactly. Which, that's the thing too. So
many of us will stay in one's, one place and one
city, one state, because that's home. But is it,
you know, it's like getting outside of that
comfort zone. I don't know if you know this about
me, but I sold everything a few years ago, bought
an RV and I took off across the country. I wish

(13:07):
our paths. That's brave.

>> Shari Leid (13:08):
That's so brave.

>> Wendy Valentine (13:10):
I wish our paths had crossed. But I can agree with
you on that because yes, it home was, people have
asked me, they're like, well, what's home? I'm
like, wherever I'm at, that's where home is for
me. I don't have. And you know, now I live part
time in Portugal. And there, you create home

(13:30):
wherever you're at. And I.
One thing that came to mind when you were talking
about meeting all these people were, what's
different? I think when you meet someone new is
curiosity.
Which sometimes when we start relationships that
we've had for a long time, the curiosity kind of
goes down. We don't ask the interesting questions

(13:52):
anymore of each other. And I think when you meet
someone new, you like, you want to know More about
them, like, you know, their siblings or where were
they raised? What did they like to do? And we kind
of lose that connection even in our closest
relationships, if you think about it.

>> Shari Leid (14:10):
Yeah. In fact, I just, had an interview about that
and how to deepen relationships so that you
already have friendships that you already have.
And that's exactly it. You hit the nail on the
head. It's being curious and asking questions that
you may not know. You know, who was this person
before you met them? Yeah. Who taught them how to
ride a bike? Tell me about that person.

>> Wendy Valentine (14:30):
Yeah, I know. And we. We think we will know
someone, and then they'll say, oh, actually, I
like doing this, or I don't like eating that, or
like, oh, I had no idea. You know, even my own
children, I'm like, oh, yeah, I had no idea about
this. You know, so it's nice to keep it. To keep
it lively and to keep it interesting. But. But I

(14:53):
would think, though, when you are meeting someone
that's brand new, it does kind of reignite that
within you and. And even learning m about yourself
through them.

>> Shari Leid (15:05):
It does. It does. And what I say to, you know,
there are a lot of people who are in midlife that
they're. They feel lonely and they don't know how
to make friends, and they don't know how to start
a conversation, and. And it's very difficult for
them. So, you know, asking these kind of kinds of
questions does not come naturally. But, you know,
I. If you can lead with the idea of curiosity.

(15:26):
Yeah, it helps. It takes the pressure off
yourself. And the, more you practice it, you know,
being curious about the other person, the easier
it gets. I have a Labrador dog. If you see me
going like this, I have this Labrador. I talk. I
talk out loud. You know, he comes over and sits
right next to me.

>> Wendy Valentine (15:45):
My little one, she's somewhere. She's so. She's
only like, this big, you know, this one's been so
big, every once.

>> Shari Leid (15:52):
In a while it looks like I am, in an earthquake. I
am not. I just have a dog bumping me.

>> Wendy Valentine (15:57):
You're like, what's going on over there?
So how did you choose these women? How did you
find them? How did you ask? How did you approach
them without being like, oh, you know, like, who
is awkward?

>> Shari Leid (16:09):
Yeah. Yeah. Well, so, 27, I got on my own, and
they were people like, for instance, you. We're
talking here. Never met in person. Hey, this is my
project. Can we share a meal? So, 27, like my web
designer Lives in Indiana and had never met her in
person. Never talked about our personal lives
together, people like that. And then after that, I

(16:29):
went on social media saying, this is my project.
Who do you have for me? I was referred to nieces,
aunts, former college roommates, former co
workers. Then I had 13 states left, and I decided,
well, maybe I should look for business women,
business owners, because at least I know they're
grounded and rooted in that area and chances of

(16:49):
being stood up are far less. So I kind of looked
at LinkedIn, I looked at Instagram, and cold
emailed, sent everything except my Social Security
number. So they think I was completely crazy. And
I ended up with a list. And from that list, I
started planning. And my only criteria was that
they communicate with me regularly. so I ended up

(17:11):
with women from ages 20s through 60s, all
different races, economic levels, education
levels, political beliefs, religious beliefs. and
the biggest pushback. Well, not the biggest. The.
The one thing that was repeated when somebody
said, I'm not sure if I can do this, I want to do
this. I thought it was going to be, I'm a private

(17:32):
person because I shared, okay, I might get some
media coverage. This is something I'm going to
write about. So I thought some people would say,
oh, I'm private. I thank you, but no, thanks. But
not one person said that. Instead, the one
objection or question I got was, I don't know if
I'm interesting enough for you.

>> Wendy Valentine (17:49):
Oh.

>> Shari Leid (17:50):
And I thought, wow, that's really sad, actually,
that a, woman's response. Response to a stranger
and, you know, a stranger that has no real footing
in any type of, you know, hierarchy, like,
celebrity is just a normal person that somebody
would say, I don't know if I'm interesting enough

(18:12):
to. That you'll find me interesting.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:15):
Wow. Yeah. That's almost like, what is it? What is
our interpretation of interesting? I mean, who's
this, Right? Like, to me, it would be. Even if
something is total opposite of me and does things
totally different in their life, to me, that's
interesting. Everything's interesting to me.

>> Shari Leid (18:36):
Yes. And I would say if that would. If, you know,
as you're listening to this, if you think, okay,
that's me, that's what I would say if somebody
asked me to sit down and you're in your midlife if
you think your life is not interesting enough,
it's time for a midlife makeover.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:48):
It's time for a midlife makeover. Make it
interesting.

>> Shari Leid (18:52):
Right.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:53):
There's actually a quote I saw on your Website, it
says, I'm a strong believer that too many of us
let a good life stop us from stepping into a great
life.

>> Shari Leid (19:04):
Yes. And that's exactly. I was married for 27
years. It was good. I had a good life. But you
know what? I now am creating a great life, and I
let good for so long stop me from becoming great.
And I see, See that. You know, when I realize that
in myself, I see that so, in so many, you know,
men and women, I see that happening so much.

(19:27):
People are just going through their lives that are
good.

>> Wendy Valentine (19:30):
Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (19:30):
And they're not, they're not like, becoming.

>> Wendy Valentine (19:33):
Really, I know, really pushing themselves to a new
frontier in their lives to become even greater. I
can relate to that as well, because, same thing, I
had a good life, good marriage, you know, like
that. You can't see me on the screen, but I'm,
like that. But I want. I knew there was more. I

(19:55):
wanted to be more fulfilled.
So how, how did this whole journey help you
through your divorce or post divorce or wherever
at that stage that it was. And how. How did Sheri
become even more enlightened?

>> Shari Leid (20:15):
Process me and these women, especially the women
that were older than me on this journey, who had
gone through divorces, who, picked up and moved to
different areas, who, you know, had different
health challenges, whatever it was. Seeing how
these different lives were happening and unfolding
really gave me strength to, to realize, okay, this

(20:39):
is normal, actually. This is life. Right. And I'm
not stuck. I can be whoever I want to be. So just
meeting all these different people and seeing
different lives, even if it wasn't directly
related to mine, just gave me strength. It just
broadened my horizons, and made me understand

(21:00):
myself better too. And when you challenge yourself
and doing something like you're, you know, going
rv, you know, going on a trip and selling
everything, that to me seems so brave. By myself
and meeting with strangers to someone else, that
seems so brave. Yeah. And. And just realizing,

(21:21):
though, that you can do these things. Yeah, it
just, you know, and at the time, also with my
divorce, I had not taken a paycheck. I'm an
attorney by training, but I stopped working to be
a stay at home mom. And, and I had not taken a
paycheck in decades. And so the financial piece,
that was the scary part for me. but then, you

(21:43):
know, seeing, hey, I, I could do this. It'll be
okay. and sometimes you have to. I read a quote
that said something to the effect that sometimes
doors have to close for you to receive everything
you've prayed for.

>> Wendy Valentine (21:56):
Yes.

>> Shari Leid (21:56):
And man, every time a door is closed, closed, you
know, you could call God, the universe, whoever
you know is, is something bigger than you that's
opening these doors. It's happened to me time and
time again. And the timing on everything has been
so perfect. I couldn't have orchestrated it better
myself. And I'm a planner.

>> Wendy Valentine (22:17):
Hey there, Wendy.

>> Shari Leid (22:18):
Here.

>> Wendy Valentine (22:19):
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(22:39):
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(23:03):
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(23:25):
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(23:48):
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(24:08):
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And now back to the show. We are so similar
because same thing for me, like, right before I
finally rebuilt my life after my divorce, got out
of debt, you know, I got a job and I saved up

(24:30):
enough money for the rv and probably because I
just got done reading the book out loud for four
days. This is, is all fresh in my mind. But it
brought me back to that moment where I was like, I
was about to walk in and put in my resignation,
you know, to my boss, and I was like, am I doing
the right thing? I'm. I'm literally putting myself
into unemployment voluntarily. You know what I

(24:52):
mean? And to start this whole, like, crazy
project, like, I'm going to start a Podcast and
become a writer on the road in an RV that I don't
know how to drive. Like, what am I doing? But you
know what, though? I feel like. I don't know about
you, but sometimes you just have this. You can't
explain it. It's crazy. even if you say it out

(25:13):
loud to someone, it's like, that does sound really
nutty, you know, but then there's something in you
that's like, do it.

>> Shari Leid (25:22):
You got to do it.

>> Wendy Valentine (25:23):
You got to do it. So did you feel like that?

>> Shari Leid (25:26):
I feel like that now. You know, my journey just
beginning. I mean, it's gone. But now I'm packing
up my home in Seattle. I grew up in Seattle. I've
lived here my entire life. Moving to Dallas, I
bought a home, so I was able to get a mortgage.
and. And everything. I feared it's okay, and I've

(25:46):
been able to do it, and things are just. They're
just opening up and meeting new people. so, yeah,
it just feels really good. Yeah. And I'm learning
to instead. You know, when you. When you have a
good life, you're used to using your head all the
time and not really checking in with your heart.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:04):
Yes.

>> Shari Leid (26:04):
You know, and you're not used to checking in with
your body and trusting your gut feelings and
things like that.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:10):
Too much logic and reasoning.

>> Shari Leid (26:12):
Yes. It's good what we're doing to do. It's good.
Yeah. And when you decide you're gonna live a
great life, start checking in with yourself, and
you start asking yourself, what does great feel
like to me?

>> Wendy Valentine (26:26):
Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (26:26):
So, yes, you know, great feels like something
different to everybody. But what you're saying
about the way it feels like, I just need to do
this, it's coming out of me. I can't stop. You
know, that's exactly where I'm at right now.
People might call it flow. Yeah, that's exactly
where I feel like.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:43):
It's, like, effortless. I mean, you're not putting
in any effort, but it's just. I feel like when you
truly are trusting in your heart and your soul and
you're not just like, oh, listening, you're taking
the action of whatever your intuition is telling
you. The stars just will start to line, and you're

(27:04):
like, oh, here's, the next crumb and the next
crumb and the next crumb.

>> Shari Leid (27:07):
Yes. And even when they don't line and they shoot
off in a different direction, it's kind of like,
okay, wait, there's something better over there.
Hold on.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:16):
Yes. Exactly.

>> Shari Leid (27:18):
Thinking. But let's go with it. Yeah, you know, I
could work, honestly, right now, and what I'm
doing from. And sometimes I do from morning till
midnight, but it doesn't feel like work.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:29):
I know. Isn't it nice?

>> Shari Leid (27:31):
Just so much joy for me right now, what I'm
producing, what's coming out, what feels like
value. it's, you know, making, changing good to
great. It feels right.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:45):
It feels more like sharing.

>> Shari Leid (27:46):
Great.

>> Wendy Valentine (27:47):
Yeah, exactly. Going from ordinary to
extraordinary. There was a. If you heard the quote
from Marianne Williamson, our deepest fear is not
that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that
we're powerful beyond measure. It is our light,
not our darkness, that most frightens us. And I

(28:07):
did an Instagram.

>> Shari Leid (28:08):
Oh, that gave me chills.

>> Wendy Valentine (28:09):
I know. Isn't that cool? I know. And, you know,
it's so funny. So I was studying the course in
miracles. This was, like, shortly before my
divorce, and I. I then I, you know, stumbled
across Marianne Williamson. And then I read that
quote, and I was like, why. Why do I like this
quote? I didn't, like, I got it, but it didn't get
it. It didn't become a knowingness. And then one

(28:33):
day, because I had it above my laptop, I had.

>> Shari Leid (28:36):
I hand wrote it out and.

>> Wendy Valentine (28:38):
And I. I looked at it and I was just kind of one
of those ordinary good days. Wasn't a bad day, but
I was just like, here I am again. You know, And I
looked at the quote again, and I thought, okay,
Wendy, what if. What if you. What if you truly
stepped into your light? And it's true.

(28:59):
Like, I feel like many of us, we are more scared
of our light than our darkness. We're more scared
of fully loving ourselves and fully loving our
lives and who we are and our gifts and our talents
and our strengths. Than what then? Like, sometimes
we're more in love with our limiting beliefs and
our doubts and our perfectionism. I mean, I was.

(29:20):
Oh, my God, like, I had more for freaking excuses.
You know what I mean? I'd almost, like, no joke,
almost manifest a physical ailment in me so that
I'm like, oh, yes, I can't. I can't go to that
meeting. Yeah, I can't show up for that podcast or
whatever. And then I thought about, like, you know
what? My life was already crumbling. What if. What

(29:44):
if I just stepped into my light? Like, who would I
be and what would my life be like? So that makes.
It reminds me of. With you and your journey. Like,
Sherry was like, you know what? I'M going to fully
step into my light. And then you see what. And
it's just like, oh.

>> Shari Leid (30:02):
And you know, you realize sometimes the people
that you've surrounded yourself with, you thought
they were holding you up.

>> Wendy Valentine (30:09):
Yes.

>> Shari Leid (30:10):
But when you let go of those people, you realize
they were holding you back in this place. And
that's what, you know, at least for me, and not
even just my marriage, I was involved with
somebody else in a serious relationship of a very
successful person. And that success that he had,

(30:35):
you know, I thought was here, but that was holding
me down here. And when I let go of this, I started
to rise and I start to see him differently. And
seeing how that success actually was holding him
back too, because that became his identity. Yeah.
And he wasn't moving forward. So, I mean, I guess
what I'm saying is a lot of times with our light,

(30:58):
we are used to, thinking that maybe, we, we like,
we're used to looking at other people thinking
maybe we're holding them back or we're the, we're
the ones that are kind of the wild, wild stars
here because we're up and down and they seem so
steady. But what that is that up and down
sometimes is we're just ready to get out. Yeah,

(31:18):
exactly.

>> Wendy Valentine (31:19):
And I think, like, I think what you were saying
too is also just depending on other people's light
to cruise us through, you know, our own lives,
which actually, like, no, what you have is enough.

>> Shari Leid (31:33):
And to know we all have it. We all have it.

>> Wendy Valentine (31:37):
That's fascinating.
What was surprising about that whole journey? If
you could pick one thing that was like, what you
did not expect this particular thing to happen
within you.

>> Shari Leid (31:52):
You know, it's interesting because it's still
developing. And I knew from the beginning when I
started this, this is going to change my life. I
just felt it. I just knew it was going to change
my life and I didn't know how. And I think it's
still developing in me. What I didn't expect
necessarily is the confidence that came from it
and the little things that people would say that

(32:15):
would stick with me. And I think about, there's a
woman in South Carolina who said, that she had
been a transplant. She was, she was commuting back
and forth across states for her job because they
let her work remote for the most part. And one day
after three years of doing this, her husband said,
are you ready to put down roots now? M. And once
she decided, yeah, I am ready to put down roots,

(32:39):
she developed a community and Friends and her life
start to bloom. And I thought, you know me. So my
story, I'm. I was orphaned, and so I never saw
myself as somebody having roots. And that taught
me after that, you know, I thought I actually can
create my own roots. I could plant roots

(32:59):
somewhere.

>> Wendy Valentine (33:00):
Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (33:01):
And that just. That just gave me this whole sense
of identity that I didn't realize I was even
lacking. The idea of never having roots and not
being able to plant them. and that's a piece of
finding home for me as well.

>> Wendy Valentine (33:15):
Yeah. I mean, you create your life, right? It's
not like life is just like, oh, thrown at you. You
actually are proactive, and you take steps to
create the life that you want to live.

>> Shari Leid (33:29):
And even creating planning roots, you know, at
this age, being able to plant roots, and you think
of roots as something as generation. I can do it,
right? Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (33:38):
Oh, it's so cool. I can't. Who's going to have
lunch with me tomorrow?

>> Shari Leid (33:44):
Yeah, seriously, it's. It's. You know, I started
doing this actually, when I came back, because it
was. It was so fabulous. I call these flip the box
potlucks. And now I invite. I have one tomorrow
where I invite three people that don't know each
other, that I don't know too well over to my
place, bring something, it's very casual, and we
sit down, we share a meal together, and they're
called flip the box dinners.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:04):
I was going to ask you about that. So that's what
the flip the box is.

>> Shari Leid (34:08):
Yeah. Well, and the whole flip the box is,
because, as I said, I was adopted while I was
orphaned and I was found in a cardboard box. So
it's bad without a name. Without, you know, a
name, a birth date, a birthplace, so no
identifying information. And so as I traveled and
I mentioned that, you know, I'd been asking about
home, I realized my entire life, I'd been looking

(34:31):
for home. And my entire life, I've been looking
for connection. But what I had done, I realized as
I. Especially as I was writing the book, I had
taken that box that had told me, you know, all my
life that I didn't belong, that I wasn't connected
to anyone. That cardboard box and symbolically had
flipped it and made it a table where connection

(34:52):
was found and belonging was created. So that's why
this movement has become the Flip the Box
movement.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:59):
I love that. That's genius. That's so cool. But,
you know, do you. Do you, appreciate more of your.
Of your story? Even the sad parts?

>> Shari Leid (35:15):
Oh, I absolutely Do. It's kind of funny. I, you
know, gone head first into professional speaking
and become a keynoter. And so a joke amongst
professional speakers, are man, the harder your
life is, the better stories you have to tell. so
I'm thankful for these stories but you know,
absolutely, it helps me connect, and it keeps me

(35:35):
curious because I, you know, I don't have the
biological family, I don't have, you know, a
history per se, you know, that I can connect, to.
So I'm really curious about other people's
histories, I'm really curious about their
families, what that looks like, what that feels
like. so I think it's made me a more curious
person, which has helped me to connect better with

(35:58):
people.

>> Wendy Valentine (35:58):
Actually, this is one of the reasons I started
this podcast because I wanted other women not to
feel alone in their stories. Like there's other
people out there, you know, other women that have
been through trauma and divorces and going through
empty nest and who am I? What is my purpose? We
all like, there's so many of us out there. And

(36:20):
sometimes I feel like when, when you don't connect
more then you do think you feel alone and lonely
and your thoughts and in your worries and your
stress and, and you're not alone. All the more
reason to connect more.

>> Shari Leid (36:38):
Yeah, we're all connected. And the Beauty of the
50 states, like I said, it start to feel like one
teacher. But not only that, these women, they
they're now all bonded, you know, through this
project. And these are women. So I didn't ask, on
purpose necessarily people's political or
religious beliefs. Sometimes it came out,

(36:59):
sometimes it was somewhat obvious. And I told all
the women at the end of this, I'm going to do a
survey to find out because that would be
interesting to me. And in the meantime, I started,
hosting these Zoom meetings where these women
could meet each other on Zoom, ah, leading up to
the book launch. And I did the survey, I got the
answers, but I decided not to share them because I

(37:21):
didn't want to ruin the connections that these
women felt by saying, this is who this person
voted for. This is the church that this other
person goes to. M and at the book launch, which
was in New York, I had everyone wear black except
for the women in the project, they wore red. So
they were able to recognize each other
immediately. And they were hugging each other and

(37:42):
laughing as if they were the best of friends. And
these are women who would have never crossed paths
either because, race, economics, political
beliefs, religious police, but for the way this
was, laid out and the. How they met.

>> Wendy Valentine (37:58):
Have you always been this creative, or was that
really awakened more when you started this
project?

>> Shari Leid (38:03):
I believe I've been this. I'm more of a creative
than I am. You know, I went into law. I kind of
did a lot of the traditional path. but this is
more my. My nature. You know, I. I love writing.
I'm m. More of an artist at heart than I am, you
know, your child.

>> Wendy Valentine (38:21):
When I read your. Your bio and I was like,
litigator. Well, she didn't. I wasn't feeling that
at all. But, yeah, I'm sure you're amazing at it.
But it's just like me, like, some of the careers
that I've had, I'm like, they weren't me. This,
like, no. Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (38:36):
I used to listen to, Gloria Gaynor's I Will
Survive on my Drive to Work when I was a criminal
prosecutor, because it wasn't a natural, natural
fit for me. It didn't feel good. It was stressful.
It wasn't a happy place.

>> Wendy Valentine (38:51):
So I'm sure.
Were there a lot of people that you knew before
you embarked on this journey that were like, don't
do this. It's silly. Don't take. What are you
doing? And did you listen to any of them and start
to question yourself? Or you're just like, no, I'm
going for this. Naysayers.

>> Shari Leid (39:09):
I didn't have naysayers, and I didn't talk to
anybody about it. I didn't describe beforehand.
You know, I kind of just do things. And I do think
that in the beginning, people didn't know what I
was doing, and it was just, you know, just me in
glorified travel. but as I went along, I got quite
a few interviews, you know, in the process of
doing this during the travels, and ended, up with

(39:32):
a TEDx on this, breaking, bread with strangers.
And people start to get it and they start to
understand. So instead, it surprises me. People
have really followed along and said, you know, I'm
inspired, you know, And I'm sure they do this as
they watch you and what you've done. Like, oh, my
gosh, that's crazy. Oh, wait a second. I'm

(39:53):
inspired.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:54):
Maybe I'll be crazy too.

>> Shari Leid (39:56):
Yeah. Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:57):
And so.

>> Shari Leid (39:58):
So, I've gotten more positive feedback now and,
especially even moving over to Dallas and doing
this. And of course I'm going to do this. You
know, I'm an open book whether I just admired that
way and People are watching, especially women in
their midlife who are kind of thinking, wait,
there might be something different out there for

(40:18):
me. And she's okay. You know, she's doing okay and
she's figuring it out.

>> Wendy Valentine (40:24):
yeah, I think, like, you know, again, recovering
perfectionist, where I would have to have
everything planned out. And you don't. You figure
stuff out as you go along. Like the quote, leap
and the net will appear. Right? You leap and the
net will appear. You are the net. Like, you figure
that. You figure stuff out and.

>> Shari Leid (40:46):
Yeah, yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (40:48):
And I mean, it's like, you know, I. If this was a
jar, like, I can't hand you a jar of courage. You
have to fill up your own jar of courage. And you
do that by taking action. And then the more you do
things and you figure it out, you're like, okay, I
did that. Like, all right, now I could. Right.
Like, I think you said too. Even like building up
your confidence.

>> Shari Leid (41:08):
And that's what confidence is. Knowing that no
matter what life throws your way, you can handle
it.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:13):
Yeah.

>> Shari Leid (41:14):
And you know, and we have, we all have proof. I
mean, we went. Everybody, we have a history. Look
back at your history. You handled that, you know?

>> Wendy Valentine (41:22):
Yes, exactly. Yeah, I know. Next. Yeah. That is so
awesome. Well, this is so good.

>> Shari Leid (41:29):
I'm.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:30):
I am inspired and I do need to have lunch with
someone tomorrow here on the island.
That is what's kind of cool though, when you live
in Europe and if you don't speak the language, I
mean, talk about really connecting. And one thing
that's universal in the entire universe is
universal in the entire universe. Yes, I said
that, is a smile.

>> Shari Leid (41:50):
Right.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:51):
Because no matter where you go, someone's
contagious.

>> Shari Leid (41:54):
Yes, exactly.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:56):
Exactly. So even if you don't know the language or
you find a way to connect just energetically and
emotionally, which I think is.

>> Shari Leid (42:05):
I think. Yeah. That's fabulous.

>> Wendy Valentine (42:07):
Yeah. Well, where can we find you and how do we
get your book?

>> Shari Leid (42:11):
Okay, well, my book's available everywhere. The
easiest is always Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
That's the easiest. It's called table for 51. I am
the 51st table. 50 states. 51st table. table for
51. My website. It's a long name. It's an
imperfectly perfect life.com and imperfectly
perfect life.com and I have. I give free 52

(42:34):
connection tools. One tool each week. A challenge
to connect. If you're looking for connections and
something to egg you on each week to try to
connect, sign up for that. It's free. You could.
You could unsubscribe at any time and, Or just
look up my name. Sherry Lead. S H A R I L E I D.
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (42:53):
And you're, like, on all sorts of TV shows and
magazines. You. Were you on the Today show, too?

>> Shari Leid (43:00):
I was. During this travel. I was on the Today
show. Amazing. Right in midlife.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:09):
Yeah. That is so cool. And I'm excited for your
next venture to Texas. You're gonna be a Texas?

>> Shari Leid (43:15):
Yeah, I am, I am, I'm gonna. I'm looking for
cowboy boots, actually.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:18):
Yeah. Oh, my God. They have some great ones there.
Sheplers. Go to Sheplers.

>> Shari Leid (43:23):
Okay. Yeah, Okay. I will. I'll look.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:25):
I know. All right.

>> Shari Leid (43:26):
Thank you so much. Thank you. Have a good day.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:32):
Did this podcast podcast inspire you? Challenge
you? Trigger you to make a change or spit out your
coffee laughing? Good. Then there are three ways
you can thank me. Number one, you can leave a
written review of this podcast on Apple iTunes.
Number two, you can take a screenshot of the
episode and share it on the social media and tag
me Wendy Valentine. Number three, share it with

(43:55):
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know
who I'm talking about.

>> Shari Leid (43:59):
About.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:59):
Thank you so much for listening to the show. Get
out there and be bold. Be free. Be you.
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