October 21, 2025 • 49 mins
In this enlightening episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, Wendy Valentine sits down with neuroscientist and Muse co-founder Ariel Garten to explore the fascinating connection between meditation, brain health, and midlife transformation. Ariel explains how neuroplasticity allows us to rewire old thought patterns, strengthen emotional resilience, and even slow brain aging.
You’ll learn how Muse’s brain-sensing headband offers real-time feedback to make meditation easier, more effective, and even life-changing—helping you sleep better, stress less, and take back control of your mind. This episode is packed with science, stories, and soulful wisdom that will leave you inspired to train your brain for a brighter, calmer future.
Â
What You’ll Learn
- How meditation changes your brain and boosts neuroplasticity
- The simple science behind Muse and real-time neurofeedback
- Why just 5–10 minutes a day can improve focus, calm, and sleep
- How meditation supports midlife emotional balance and resilience
- Ways to heal trauma and rewrite your inner story for lasting peace
🎧 Tune in now at https://TheMidlifeMakeoverShow.com or wherever you listen to podcasts!
Â
👉 Connect with Ariel!
Website: https://choosemuse.com
MUSE Instagram:Â instagram.com/choosemuse
Ariel Instagram:Â https://www.instagram.com/ariels_musings/
Facebook:Â facebook.com/choosemuse
Save 15% on the Muse Headband with code: VALENTINE
Â
🌟 Explore All Things Midlife & More
Â
đź“– Order Your Copy of Women Waking Up
Â
📸 Follow My Midlife Adventures on IG!
https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_/
Â
đź“ť Get Weekly Midlife Inspiration on Substack
https://wendyvalentine.substack.com/
Â
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Ariel Garten (00:00):
I'm thinking about all the people who are
(00:01):
listening to this, all of whom we have all had
screwed up traumas in our life. We have all had
people who made bad choices in our presence that
we can be very, very angry about if we, if we
choose to. And we can come back into this present
moment and know that they're no longer here, and
their choices no longer need to affect us because
(00:24):
we can rewrite the story in our mind and body and
rewrite the story story of how it affects us. And
recognize that here, today, now, in this house, in
this room, wherever we are, we are safe. And we
don't need to re experience that feeling of trauma
because we can rewrite it with safety.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:42):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your
host of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's
never too late to wake up to your best life.
Whether you're navigating a career change, empty
nesting, menopause, or wondering what's next,
you're in the right place. Every week I'll bring
you real talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:03):
with experts and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding
freedom. This is your time to reinvent, rediscover
and reignite the woman you were always meant to
be. So hit that subscribe button and let's rewrite
the rules of midlife. Your new adventure starts
(01:24):
now.
>> Ariel Garten (01:26):
Foreign.
>> Wendy Valentine (01:36):
Hey friend. I have some big news for you. My
signature program, Freedom at Midlife is no longer
just a once a year thing. Nope. Now you can jump
in anytime and start changing your life the moment
you feel ready. Because let's be real, when that
wave hits, you know the one when you're like,
(01:58):
okay, I can't keep living like this. Something's
gotta give. You don't want to wait six months for
some start date. You want to start now. And now
you can. Freedom at Midlife is my seven step self
paced course designed to help you figure out who
you want to become, what life you want to create,
and exactly how to to get there. It's set up as a
(02:23):
seven week journey, but you can binge it Netflix
style if you're ready to rock your life super fast
or take it slow and let it sink in. By the time
you're done, you'll have clarity on where to start
your transformation. Your own midlife mantra
filled with superpowers and action steps. Tools to
(02:45):
lighten your emotional load and boost your energy
and confidence. A step by step path to go from
where you are to where you really Want to be in
your life, healthy boundaries to protect your new
unstoppable self, and so much more. You'll get
seven easy to follow modules, your Freedom at
(03:07):
Midlife playbook, a full suite of tools, and
access to my Freedom meditation series. All for
just wait for it 299. Seriously, it is a killer
deal for everything that you get in this program.
So if you're ready to stop waiting and start
(03:30):
creating, head to freedomidlife.com that's
freedomidlife.com and let's make this happen. Your
next chapter. Yeah, it starts whenever you decide.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm
your host, Wendy Valentine. Today's guest is
(03:52):
someone who is truly revolutionizing the way we
think about our brains and our well being, Ariel
Garten. Ariel is a neuroscientist, former
psychotherapist and the brilliant co founder of
Muse, the brain sensing headband that's helped
over half a million people meditate more deeply,
strengthening stress less and sleep better. Her
(04:14):
passion lies in showing us how to harness the
power of our own minds in practical, science
backed ways. Her work has been featured in cnn,
Forbes, the New York Times and Wired. And she's
become a sought after speaker on the future of
mental well being. Today we'll dive into how
neurofeedback and meditation tracking can
(04:37):
transform your sleep, sharpen your focus and help
you take control of your mental health in a whole
new way.
Please welcome the brilliant Ariel to the show.
>> Ariel Garten (04:51):
Hello Wendy. That was a lovely introduction. Thank
you.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:54):
You are so welcome. It's great to have you here.
And before we hit record, I shared with you that
I'm like obsessed with the brain and neuroscience
and meditation. So I'm so excited and to have
someone like you here to share with the audience
and let, let them know how important it is to
incorporate this into their lives.
(05:15):
so my question to you first. How did you become so
fascinated with the brain and when was that
moment? Then you were like, okay, I'm gonna
dedicate my life to this. When was that moment?
>> Ariel Garten (05:30):
Ooh, that's a great question. You sort of upped it
an ante. When you're like, I know, when will I
dedicate my life to this? so 46. Almost. 46. 45
and three quarters. seven eighths. 45 and seven
eighths. I been fascinated by the brain since I
was a little kid. 40, let's call it 39 years ago.
(05:55):
Kind of like wondering how it is that we think we
move, we act as I got A little older, I discovered
there was this thing called the brain that
governed our behaviors and our thoughts and our
feelings. And so I went on to school to study
neuroscience and psychotherapy and psychology,
trying to understand how it is that we have this
organ in our head that creates our complex
(06:18):
existence of life, our ability to think and feel
and direct our own will. And I started working a
research lab in the early 2000s with an early
brain computer interface system. So a simple
system that, you put an electrode to your head,
and by focusing, relaxing, by shifting your brain
state, we could actually use that information to
(06:39):
start controlling things around us. So we could
turn our brain activity into sound that we could
hear, or use it to translate it into lights. And
that was the moment where I was like, wow, you
know, we have a brain in our head that seems that
it's so inaccessible, yet using technology, we can
(07:00):
learn how to access it in some ways and interact
with it. And that became my journey to muse, along
the way, with a decade of psychotherapy, which is
another method of teaching people to understand
and shift their own mind, and ultimately, bringing
the world a product that lets you interact with
your brain, track your mental health, improve your
(07:23):
meditation, your sleep, and, you know, that's all
still just the tip of the iceberg to help people
understand and improve their life by improving
their brain.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:33):
You know, I. I, think it's pretty wild that it
wasn't. And you would probably know this
information better than I do, but it wasn't that
long ago that they discovered that you can
actually rewire the brain, what, maybe 35 years
ago? Roughly 35, 40 years ago, yes.
>> Ariel Garten (07:51):
The concept of neuroplasticity is really recent.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:54):
I know this is crazy. I'm like.
>> Ariel Garten (07:58):
I didn't.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:58):
Like, I think we're, like, pretty smart human
beings. I'm like, why did it take us that long? Or
why did it take us that long to put wheels on a
suitcase? But the neuroplasticity, I'm like, how
did we not know this? But thank God we do know
this, right? And for me, like, I started
meditating probably, oh, gosh, maybe 12 years ago,
(08:23):
roughly. But I didn't like it at all. I was doing
it because, like, all right, you're supposed to do
this. As a matter of fact, I was getting trained
in yoga, and it was part of the whole, you know,
program. So I was like, okay, fine. And I would
just sit there in the room with all these other
people, and I will. All I could think about was
like, I know my stomach's about to growl, and
everyone's going to be like, oh, my God, Wendy's
(08:44):
stomach is growling again. That's all I could
think about. I. I could not. I hated it. I hated,
hated meditation. And then I started. Then, you
know, some of these apps would start coming out
with guided meditations. I was like, maybe I'll
try guided meditation, you know? And then I was
like, all right, it did that. But I still. I would
just kind of sit there, and I'd think about what I
(09:05):
was gonna make for dinner. And during the guided
meditation, then what changed was the
neuroplasticity and the neuroscience part of it.
When I realized, like, oh, you can literally
change your brain. So if I had had this belief my
(09:26):
whole life that I'm not good enough, I'm not smart
enough, I can never be an author, I can never have
my own show. I can never. Wah, wah, wah.
>> Ariel Garten (09:35):
I.
>> Wendy Valentine (09:36):
That I could actually change all of those beliefs
into whatever the heck I want. That's when
meditation changed for me. When it finally clicked
that I had, that was my light bulb moment. When
that went off in my brain, I was like, wow, you
(09:56):
can not only change your brain, but you can change
your body, you can change your life, you can
change everything. And it's in that little squishy
sponge inside your skull, which is fascinating.
>> Ariel Garten (10:10):
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And that was what was so
powerful to me, too. So, you know, as a early
meditator, I hated it as well. My brain would
bounce all over the place. I was naturally kind of
ADD entrepreneur type who wanted to do a million
things and had all these ideas, and the idea of
sitting there and just having nothing go on in my
mind was terrifying. And then when I was finally
(10:31):
got into the practice and I finally recognized
what it could do for me, I was like, wow, this is
worth it. and you're so right when you say that we
can change our brain and change our own
perceptions about ourselves. And that's
fascinating because there's two different ways to
(10:52):
get into shifting the brain. One is through
language. So one is through retraining our beliefs
and our thoughts. And the other is through
actually changing the organ itself. Like doing the
work to strengthen the organ, doing the work to
change the neural pathways through different forms
of stimulation beyond just thought. And so, you
(11:13):
know, meditation actually works on both of these
pathways to help us improve our cognitive
function, our outlook on life or feeling about
ourself, and literally change our brain and change
our lives.
>> Wendy Valentine (11:27):
So tell the listener, maybe someone that's like,
brand New to meditation and changing the brain.
What, what is happening? If you were just to sit
meditation for 20 minutes, you know, 20, 30
minutes, whatever. What's happening? What's
happening inside the brain?
>> Ariel Garten (11:45):
Cool. So let's talk about it on two in two
different domains. One, what are we doing? And
then two, what's actually happening in the brain?
So in a basic meditation, the most basic one you
do is usually focused attention meditation. And
you've probably been told to just sit and count
your breaths or watch your breaths. So I'm sitting
there, my eyes are closed, I put my attention on
(12:05):
my breath, and then eventually my attention is
going to wander away onto a thought. And then I'm
like, oh, right, grocery store, blah, blah, blah,
blah. And then you're like, oh, I'm supposed to be
meditating. Okay, let go of the thought, back to
my breath. And then you put your attention on your
breath. Then your mind wanders away again. You're
like, right, meditation, back to the breath. This
is all it is. I know it sounds ridiculously
(12:29):
straightforward in a certain respect. You're just,
your mind is wandering, you're noticing, you're
returning it. Wandering, noticing, returning it.
And every time you do that, what you're actually
doing is strengthening your brain. The one hand,
as your mind wanders away onto these thoughts, and
these thoughts are often like, stressful,
(12:49):
frustrating, annoying. And most of us just go
through our lives thinking those thoughts. We just
assume these are the thoughts in our head and
we're supposed to be thinking them because they're
there and we don't even think about it. It just,
it's what happens with meditation. What you learn
is that your mind can be on a thought. And you can
have a choice. You can recognize, hey, my brain is
(13:11):
on this thing and I can choose to do something
else. I can let go of that thought and bring it on
to the work. I'm doing something else. I want to
be thinking about a person. I love the person I'm
talking to. And you can actually have control over
your own, mind. Yeah. So that is huge. You're
learning to control your thoughts, control your
(13:32):
mental space. Now, on a neuroscientific level,
what you're doing is you are strengthening your
prefrontal cortex and you're strengthening your
ability to. You're strengthening, you're
strengthening your ability to manage your brain.
(13:53):
Let me just try all that.
>> Wendy Valentine (13:54):
All right.
>> Ariel Garten (14:02):
So on the one hand, you are learning to move your
mind away from your thoughts and choose the
contents of your own mind. On the other, Hand,
you're actually changing your brain itself. So
jump back, little neuroscience lesson here. The
front of our head, we have thing called our
prefrontal cortex. And the prefrontal cortex is
(14:24):
the part of our brain responsible for thinking,
planning, attention, inhibition, and really all
that higher order processing that we do. In the
middle of our brain is a little organ, organoid
part of our brain called the amygdala. And the
amygdala is the part of our brain associated with
(14:45):
fear, anxiety, fight or flight behavior. And as we
go through our life, our amygdala is constantly
scanning for things that are wrong and then
generating thoughts about it and feelings about
it. So it's like, oh, no, you know, there's a
snake in front of you. We should be scared and run
away and think, oh, you know, this is scary. Oh,
(15:09):
there's a stain on my pants and I'm going into an
interview. I should feel really embarrassed and I
should think, oh, no, this is awful. And I should
focus my attention on my stain for the next 20
minutes rather than preparing for my interview
properly. These are the things Nicola does. And
during a meditation practice, what we find
ourselves doing is actually learning to down
(15:31):
regulate the activity of the amygdala. So long
term, meditators have not just less activity in
their amygdala, but actually smaller amygdalas
overall.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:42):
Interesting.
>> Ariel Garten (15:43):
And at the same time, we're strengthening our
prefrontal cortex. We're strengthening our brain's
ability to inhibit, to attend, to think, to play
plan. And we're actually strengthening the
relationship between the amygdala and the
prefrontal cortex. We're strengthening the, the
prefrontal cortex's ability to quiet that amygdala
to calm ourselves down. So as we do this very
(16:05):
simple practice of meditation, just noticing our
thoughts and coming back to our breath, we are not
only learning to take control of our own minds and
our thoughts, but we're actually changing and
strengthening our own brain.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:17):
Ah, so cool. So, yeah, I mean, instead of your.
Your mind controlling you, you are controlling
your mind.
>> Ariel Garten (16:26):
Yes, yes, yes and yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:28):
M. I mean, I know for me, I, can. I can vouch that
that's all completely true because that's how I
changed my life. That's how I got to where I'm at
today, you know, I mean, truly yay. Thank God for.
But I mean, I had the realization of. I was like,
you know, we're pretty much, we're all
brainwashed, right? We're all brainwashed to
(16:49):
believe something. And then I thought, well, what
if I actually am the one that chooses what I put
in my brain and what I. What, like, I wanted. I
wanted to be a control freak of my own brain. And
I was like, I'm gonna start taking control here of
this thing, because I felt like, especially at
that point in my life seven years ago, I felt out
(17:10):
of control. I felt like that amygdala was like.
>> Ariel Garten (17:13):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:15):
It was just having, like, a grand old time, like,
just running the show. And I was like, no, you
cannot do that anymore. No. So it does totally
make sense that it's not only are you benefiting
from it emotionally, obviously, but even, like,
the physical benefit in your brain. Like you said,
(17:36):
even their amygdala is, like, getting smaller.
It's not as, Yeah, it's not as in control as it
was before.
>> Ariel Garten (17:44):
Yeah. And what you find is that as you start to
move through life, things seem easier. You don't
have as many ruminative thoughts. You feel calmer
because that amygdala is not sending you fear
signals as often. Right. And you find yourself
more in control of the world around you, more in
control of how you act and how you react. And so
(18:05):
this little practice of meditation, that,
ironically, for many people, we feel so out of
control of when we start, so many of us are like,
oh, my God, we suck at meditation.
I can't do this. I, want to run away. if you just
stick through it, if you just, you know, use the
tools and stick with it, you will get to the other
side, where it has given you so much more control
in your life that you can't imagine life without
(18:26):
it.
>> Wendy Valentine (18:27):
I know, I know, I know. I miss it. Actually,
sometimes, like, I'm like, I get excited. Like,
I'm like, oh, I can't wait to get up in the
morning, go meditate. I'm like, yeah, I never
thought I'd say that.
So, all right, so let's talk about Muse, which I'm
excited to learn about this. This cool little
headband that basically takes your brain to a
(18:49):
whole other level, from what I understand.
>> Ariel Garten (18:53):
It totally does.
>> Wendy Valentine (18:54):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (18:55):
So what Muse does is it tracks your brain activity
and gives you real time feedback during your
meditation to let you know when you're doing it
right and when your mind is wandering. So rather
than just sitting there alone wondering what
you're supposed to be doing or if you're doing it
right, Muse is actually tracking your brain during
meditation. It's being able to track when you're
(19:17):
focused on your breath and when your mind wanders
and it gives you beautiful audio cues. So when
you're focused on your breath, little birds tweet,
letting you know that, yep, you're in the right
space. Just keep going. You're there. And then
when your mind wanders onto a thought, the sound
of the rain or storm picks up. That lets you know,
hey, your mind is wandering. It's getting stormy.
Come on. Back to focused attention.
(19:39):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:39):
It's so cool. I love it. It's genius. It's so
genius.
>> Ariel Garten (19:43):
Okay, so it's incredibly cool. And it has helped,
actually, half a million people either start or
deepen their meditation practice. So it's been an
incredible tool. It was the way that I learned to
meditate and the way that many people in my life
learned to meditate. And I was actually just at a
conference this weekend, and I had somebody who
came up to me. a male, in his, I would say, early
(20:03):
50s. And he was actually crying and say, this
saved my life. Because I was able to start the
practice and shift the way that I thought and I
felt and shift my life.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:15):
That's so awesome. I have goosebumps. That's so
cool.
>> Ariel Garten (20:18):
Oh, yeah. Like, I started crying. I kept hugging
in him, and he's like, no, no, I'm schmitzy. Like,
don't hug me. But, like, we wanted to connect. It
was. This was unbelievable. And then he. We were
sitting with a group of men, actually, and then
he. At the end, as we were saying goodbye, you
know, he started to kind of get teared up again,
and he turned to the group of men and explained,
like, this saved my life. I was in deep
(20:38):
depression. And then all of them sort of reached
out their hand to him and was like, we see you,
man. It was the most beautiful thing.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:44):
Oh, changing lives. Yeah. There were some stats I
saw on your website, actually. I have them here in
front of me. And 77 felt they had a better handle
on their stress. That's huge. Just that alone,
that is saving a life right there. Right. Because
we always know, like, stress is the number one
(21:05):
killer. Right? I mean, that's huge. 78 reported
being more calm and relaxed. Don't we all need
that? 72% reported better focus and clarity. We
all need that, too. 72% reported having better
emotional regulation. I mean, with our busy lives.
(21:26):
My gosh.
And how much. Okay, how much. How much time do you
feel that we need to dedicate in our day to the
meditation with the muse, of course.
>> Ariel Garten (21:38):
Good question. We've done a lot of studies with
muse. There have actually been over 200 peer
reviewed, published studies using MUSE by third
parties. the Mayo Clinic was really the first one
to publish. They used Muse with women awaiting
surgery for breast cancer. They gave muses to
these women and they saw, a decrease in their
(21:59):
stress, a decrease in their fatigue and
improvement in their quality of life. For that
very first study, the instruction was use it for a
minimum of three minutes a day. Women would start
with three minutes a day, they would like it and
they'd continue up to five, seven, maybe 10. But
that would tend to be the max. Then in follow up
(22:19):
studies that we've done, Mayo Clinic has now done
probably seven studies using Muse, including one
with their own doctors. during the pandemic they
gave them muses to help improve their stress and
anxiety. What they SAW was a 54% decrease in
burnout, and improvements in cognition and sleep.
And there when we looked back at the data or they
(22:40):
did the analysis, so when they looked back at the
data and they saw how long people had meditated
for, it was on average five minutes a day. So not
very much.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:50):
I mean we could all find five minutes.
>> Ariel Garten (22:54):
And obviously, you know, it does improve the more
you do. But don't let time be a barrier. just tell
yourself, I'm just going to sit down for three
minutes. If I like it, I'll do three more minutes.
You know, next time if I like it, I'll do five
minutes. we tend to say the sweet spot is about 10
minutes a day. But even five minutes produces
(23:15):
phenomenally impactful results.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:17):
It's like, it's like exercise for your brain.
>> Ariel Garten (23:20):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:21):
Yeah. It's like, okay, let's go for, let's go for
a little walk, right? Because it's strengthening
that muscle, strengthening the brain. So the goal
in, the goal is while you're doing the meditation,
that you don't, it's not guided. Right. It's just,
you're just, your goal is to not think.
>> Ariel Garten (23:43):
So the goal is not to not think. The goal is to
maintain stable, focused attention on one thing,
which is your breath. So I'm just going to
maintain my attention on my breath. I'm going to
be fully absorbed in this thing. Thing. And as you
do that, you are dramatically strengthening your
prefrontal cortex and your ability to maintain
(24:04):
your attention. And you're teaching your brain how
to notice when it's distracted and then choose to
move away from the distractions and back onto your
one object of stable, focused attention. M. So
there's a common misconception that. Okay, well
your mind's just supposed to go blank and like,
you know, and we all think, oh my God, my mind
(24:26):
will never go blank. I can't do that. We're all
going to have thoughts because that's what happens
in life. We have lots of thoughts. What you learn
in meditation is how to manage those thoughts, how
to manage the, thinking and to redirect it into
the area that you care about.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:40):
Mm, Does it, does it track it through the brain
waves? Like is, are you mostly, what is it theta
or alpha?
>> Ariel Garten (24:50):
Yep. So we with Muse, we read full spectrum eeg.
actually a lot of the studies done with Muse are
using it in research labs as a clinical grade EEG
device. So we're reading your eeg, your brain
waves, and then it's detecting the brainwave, a
pattern associated with focused attention, which
is primarily alpha, but has a number of other
(25:12):
components as well. And then it's reinforcing your
brain when you enter into that brainwave pattern.
What's interesting, what we've seen in our own
studies and in the literature, is that the
brainwave pattern that you're, teaching it, that
focused attention, primarily alpha based brainwave
pattern, is also associated with brains that work
more efficiently and effectively and can be
(25:34):
correlated with brain age. So we, we've seen that
this activity, you know, not only improves your
quality of life, but also seems to have a
significant impact on the brain and the aging of
the brain. And when you look at the work of Dr.
Eileen Lueders, she did a study looking at long
term meditators and looking at how old their
(25:57):
brains looked. And what she saw was people who had
a long term meditation practice, their brain
looked on average 7.5 years younger than non.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:08):
Oo. Wow, that's huge. I hope my brain looks hot
and sexy and young. They're gonna be like, wow,
look at.
>> Ariel Garten (26:18):
That brain of hers.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:19):
Holy moly.
>> Ariel Garten (26:21):
Look at that awesome gray matter. Yeah, you're
gonna have, you know, full prefrontal cortex. It's
going to be voluptuous. You know, your Michael is
not going to be flabby.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:32):
No flabby brain. No flabby brain.
If you haven't heard the news yet, my book, Women
Waking up the Midlife Manifesto for Passion,
Purpose and Play is finally here, ready for you to
read, soak up the wisdom and change your life.
This isn't just another self help book. It's a
(26:54):
step by step guide to help you break free from
what's holding you back, rediscover your
strengths. And design a life that feels full of
purpose, joy, and freedom. Whether you're
navigating divorce, career changes, health
struggles, or just that restless midlife feeling,
these seven steps will help you reinvent yourself
(27:15):
and step into the next chapter with confidence.
You can grab the book wherever books are sold, in
digital, paperback, and even audio read by yours
truly. Plus, you'll get over $500 in bonuses that
go along with the book, including the Women Waking
up playbook, guided meditations, and a digital
(27:37):
vision board. Just head to womenwakingup.com and
one quick favor, if you've already grabbed your
copy, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Please take a moment to leave a review on Amazon.
With over 40 million books on Amazon, your review
makes this one more visible so other women can
(28:00):
find it too. And together, we can change lives. So
grab your copy, leave a review, and let's wake up
to our best selves together.
What about for dementia or Alzheimer's? Have been
studies yet with it?
>> Ariel Garten (28:16):
Yeah, so there's, quite a number of studies with
older adults using MUSE as a meditation tool. so
one study published by Baycrest and the center for
Aging and Brain Health Innovation, they actually
looked at loneliness, older individuals who were
lonely using muse, and they saw decreases in
depression and improvements in quality of life.
Then there's a number of studies done with
(28:39):
individuals with mild cognitive impairment and
with Alzheimer's. those studies are primarily
looking at the brain activity associated with them
and also looking at sleep. And the. There's one
big Alzheimer's study that will be coming out, so
I can't comment on the results yet. But I can tell
you that meditation is one of the primary
(29:01):
suggestions for the prevention of Alzheimer's and
age related cognitive decline.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:06):
Yeah, yeah. And then sleep. I know that's gotta be
a big one. Especially, I don't know, I feel like,
especially in midlife. Right. Or 40s and 50s,
like, I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to get my sleep
now. After having three kids, I lost so much sleep
all those years. I'm like, God dang it, I'm gonna
sleep. Like, nobody wake me, up. So how does this
(29:29):
help with sleep?
>> Ariel Garten (29:31):
Sure. So we have two different, muses. So we have
the Muse 2, which is primarily a meditation,
neurofeedback and brain health tool. And then we
have a second device, muse, s. Athena. And. And
that actually helps with sleep. So that is able to
track your sleep as effectively as a sleep lab. So
(29:51):
it can track your EEG of sleep. Just like if you
went into a sleep lab. And it's more effective
than a Fitbit or an Oura ring or any of them. And
it's used widely by scientists in place of a sleep
lab. And with that one, you get a ton of beautiful
sleep support. So there's a course called 14 Days
of Sleep that helps you learn how to sleep better.
(30:12):
And there's meditation, specifically for improved
slee sleep. And then we have a tool called the
digital sleeping pill, which is.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:20):
I saw that.
>> Ariel Garten (30:22):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:22):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (30:24):
So it's tracking your brain activity as you move
from wakefulness into sleep. And it's changing,
the audio experience that you're having. So you're
listening to audio as you're falling asleep, and
as we start to see your brain move into sleep, it
shifts the audio in such a way that it helps you
fall asleep faster. And if you wear the device
throughout the night, if you wake up in the middle
(30:44):
of the night, it brings back the same experience
that helped you fall asleep the first time to help
you fall back asleep. So it's been proven to be
really effective at improving sleep quality. And
if you're someone like me that started waking up
in the middle of night with sweats and you're
like, why is my body feeling gross and the sheets
(31:04):
all wet and disgusting?
>> Wendy Valentine (31:07):
Hello, Menopause. Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (31:09):
Yep. Perimenopause over here.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:12):
yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (31:13):
And so using a tool like Muse to help you just
fall back asleep and be like, it doesn't matter.
You don't have to get up and change all your seats
right now. You can let go of your anxiety, just
fall back asleep. It's all good. Oh my God. That
was a game changer.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:26):
Yeah. That's huge. Because we know too, right?
Like, if you don't sleep good at night, like, your
next day, you're just like really struggling. That
makes it tough.
>> Ariel Garten (31:38):
Yeah. And it decreases your emotional self
regulation and it decreases your cognitive
function in the long term and increases your risk
of things like heart disease. Sleep is incredibly
important.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:50):
Yeah. I always say too, like, now, like, I'm 52
now, like, but I what I do today, it's what I'm
doing for my 90 year old self. I'm always
choosing, trying to choose very healthy things,
whether it's food or my sleep and meditation, so
that I am taking care of my 90 year old self so
(32:13):
that I want her to be like, thank you so much.
Like, thank you so much for choosing M Muse. Like,
thank you so much for doing all these things for
me because I want her to be healthy.
At 90, I want her, you know, her brain to be
working and functioning properly. I want to be
able to move up and down the stairs and do all
(32:35):
those things when I'm 90 years old. And you know,
it's like the stuff we don't think about though,
we just think like we're going to be young forever
and then we wake up and we're like, holy moly.
Like, you know, I'm in my 70s, I'm in my 80s, so
it's like, it's so, so critical. What we do for
our bodies today is what we're doing for our
bodies for tomorrow and the next day and the next
(32:56):
day.
>> Ariel Garten (32:57):
It is so incredibly critical. And thank you for
putting into words because I do the same thing but
hadn't thought about it that way. So for me,
exercise is one of those where I don't love doing
it, but I do it because I know I need to be
healthy and strong for the next 10, 20, 30 years.
And I see my parents who exercise and my friend's
(33:19):
parents that don't and what a drastic difference
it's made. And meditation is one of those things
that also like I, I look at people who've
meditated and see how brilliantly their brains
work as they, they age. It just is one of those
things that like healthy eating, like sleeping,
like exercise, you just have to build in now to
(33:40):
future proof your brain and body.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:42):
Yeah. And you know what's fascinating too with
the, you know, as you meditate, you're, you're
strengthening your brain. The things that like if
you struggled with maybe eating disorder or with
depression or anxiety, like some of these things
just naturally will fade because you're focusing
(34:02):
all on making your well being, like improving your
well being with your brain and with your body. For
me, as I, you know, looking back seven years ago
when I really started getting into the meditation,
there were things in my life that just naturally
changed without me trying to change it, in other
words. So I think it's, you know, it's one of
(34:25):
those things like if it's you, if you focus on the
right things, on improving your health, some of
these things will just naturally because. And you,
and you'll want to make better choices for
yourself as you improve the health of your brain.
>> Ariel Garten (34:44):
So that's interesting that your feeling was that
they would naturally fade. And I think for me it's
been a process of noticing what the problem is,
noticing where my brain and body are getting stuck
on it and then applying the skills that I've
learned to try to shift them. So I had, I had a
trauma in my 20s, which led to multiple chemical
(35:06):
sensitivities. And so, you know, I'd go into a
room and I'd smell Windex from, ah, across the
room. And I'd be like, oh, my God, this is awful.
I can't be in here. And then I'd start to get all
these reactions to it. And, for me, unfortunately,
it wasn't naturally fading.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:22):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (35:24):
What I was able to do was to notice, like, okay,
I'm getting a fear response. This is Windex. Let's
look around the room. Everybody else is fine. It's
just me that's freaking out. I'm now going to
apply what I've learned in my meditation practice.
I'm going to apply what I've learned in being able
to shift my mind away from it. and through taking
(35:45):
what I learned in meditation training and now
applying it to this problem in my life, I could
retrain myself to be okay with Windex. I'm
actually. I'm laughing because I'm literally
looking over now and there is Windex on the
countertop. It didn't even occur to me.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:01):
well, especially with all those windows back
there. Like, you're gonna need a lot of Windex
with all those windows, you know?
>> Ariel Garten (36:08):
Yes. And I can now, like, I don't get anxiety
thinking about using Windex.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:14):
It's because. And it's also like. I mean, Yeah, I
totally agree with what you're saying, too. And
it's. It's also just the awareness, like, you're
not, like, you're not on autopilot anymore. It's
easier to kind of snap out of those moments. And I
mean, for me, I. I had suffered from, like, some
ptsd, and. And I would just all of a sudden go
(36:34):
into a panic attack. And I was like, what is it
like? But even in those moments, I was able to go,
okay, all right, I can pause and, like, take. You
know, I was able to calm myself quicker, so much
faster than before, where it would have just
split, spiraled out of control before.
>> Ariel Garten (36:56):
Yeah, I. I so associate with that. I used to have
this feeling of, like, being wrapped around my. My
chest, as part of my trauma. and it would happen.
And then one day I stopped and I realized, hold
on. This is just sensation. So after, you know, a
while in my meditation practice. Because what you
do in meditation is you sit there and you feel
(37:18):
stuff come up and. And you realize you're fine.
You're like, you feel the sense of fear and it's
like I'm just sitting here alone in my room. I'm
fine. And normally I would feel the fear and then
the fear would take over and then it would spiral,
spiral, spiral. And one day I could just sort of
feel the fear and be like, hold on, it's just a
feeling. I can just like take care of myself and
(37:39):
manage that feeling. And like there's not actually
somebody grabbing me right now. I'm totally fine
and safe. And I started to re pattern my
experience of it and I could be with the sensation
and realize it was fine. And it took two or three
times of the sensation coming back again and me
just being actually, I don't need this. Actually,
(38:01):
I'm okay. And instead of playing through the whole
like, physiological drama that I would have before
of like, oh my God, the fear, the panic, I could
just totally cut it out and rewire it. It was,
like astonishing. Now that I'm thinking back to
it, you know that thing that had plagued me for so
long when I was able to break it down and realize
it was just my body playing back the story and
(38:25):
that I was safe in this moment and I had control
to change the story in my mind and body. I'm gonna
start crying now.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:33):
It was, yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (38:35):
That was an extraordinary moment.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:37):
Yeah. Isn't that so cool?
>> Ariel Garten (38:40):
Wow. Okay.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:43):
Oh, it's okay.
>> Ariel Garten (38:45):
I'm. I'm crying because. Sorry. M. It's okay. the
crying is very, very good because I'm realizing
that I'm sitting in a room with windows behind me.
You had pointed out the windows and in the past,
had I started to think about the story and feel
that sensation, if I realized that there was
(39:06):
windows behind me and I wasn't protected behind
me, I would have been kind of freaking out now.
And I just realized that I can sit here and have a
beautiful set of windows behind me which, you
know, makes it feel very open and unprotected. And
I can tell you the story and I can feel like the
little glimmer of what it used to feel like and
(39:26):
then that can all go away and I can know I'm safe.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:29):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (39:30):
Wow.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:31):
That's when you know it works.
>> Ariel Garten (39:35):
Yeah.
Yep. And I'm thinking about all the people who are
listening to this, all of whom. We have all had
screwed up traumas in our life. We've all had
people who made bad choices in our presence that
we can be very, very angry about if we, if we
choose to. And we can come back into this present
(39:57):
moment to know that they're no longer here. and
their choices no longer need to affect us. Because
we can rewrite the story in our mind and body and
rewrite the story of how it affects us.
And recognize that here, today, now, in this
house, in this room, wherever we are, we are safe.
And we don't need to re experience that feeling of
(40:18):
trauma because we can rewrite it with safety.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:22):
Well said. It's a good thing. And you know too, I
have found that it's like, and myself included,
we've been through some crappy times in our lives,
but it motivates us to find the solutions for
(40:45):
ourselves and find for others so that they too can
be at peace and be in harmony.
>> Ariel Garten (40:53):
I only wish for all my sisters to be at peace.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:56):
Yeah. Yeah. Muse had a. Has a huge, had a huge,
motivation behind it.
>> Ariel Garten (41:04):
Yeah. It, it really was the motivation of teaching
us that we can have thoughts in our head and we
can know that they're not true and we can make a
different choice.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (41:21):
And all those stories that we tell ourselves of,
oh, we're not good enough, or oh, I can't have
this, or I don't deserve this, they're all just
stories. I know.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:30):
I, know.
>> Ariel Garten (41:30):
Yeah. They're all imposter syndrome. They're all
just the inner critic. They're all just the
internalized voice of the parent who didn't
believe in you or, you know, whatever. Whatever it
came from for you. And you can absolutely rewrite
those stories. The first step is noticing them.
And the second step is moving your mind away from
them onto something else. And after you notice
(41:52):
them, you can do the deep work of counteracting
them. So if the story comes up that you're not
good enough, just find five examples, one example,
half an example of how you are. And then anytime
that story comes back again, it's just like, you
are not real. You are not true. Pushing you away,
bringing my attention elsewhere. You are not real.
You are not true. Bringing my attention elsewhere.
And if you do that enough times, you rewrite your
(42:16):
own story.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:17):
Yeah. Yeah, we're living proof. It's a good
feeling too, isn't it? I mean, it's so cliche of
change your. Change your thoughts, change your
world, but.
>> Ariel Garten (42:30):
Change your mind, change your life.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:32):
Yeah, but so true. So true. And I think with
meditation, it really does for me. It helped me to
notice what I was thinking. I didn't even know I
was thinking. What, like what I Was thinking
about. I had to slow down enough and cut the
external noise so that I could hear my internal
(42:53):
noise so that I could have more peace in my mind
and in my heart and in my soul. Because it was.
It's exhausting, you know, like having your mind
control you. But it's nice, so nice when you can
(43:14):
take back control and everyone can. Every single
human being can. That's what's cool about being a
human being, is that we can do that.
>> Ariel Garten (43:24):
Yes. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:27):
Thank you so much for sharing.
>> Ariel Garten (43:30):
Oh, that was. That was, That was good.
That was a deep one. I just felt this anger and
fear for everyone who has gone through shitty
experiences. The anger. Let me, Let me write that.
Let me restart that. I just felt this anger for
(43:51):
everyone who had gone through shitty experiences.
and I felt the anger for all the people who've
caused those experiences in other people's lives.
and on the flip side of that is the power to take
back our own narratives and to take back our own
stories in our minds and stories in our bodies.
(44:13):
You know, the emotional reactions that m. We have
and to know that we are capable of rewriting them.
Incapable of coming back to our real intrinsic
self. Our. Our own truth.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:29):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (44:30):
Our own truth with new layers of wisdom. Having
learned and transformed from all the things that
have happened to us.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:36):
Yeah. Yeah. Plus, I find it's a little bit easier
now when things. I had something happen not too
long ago, a few weeks ago, and I bounced back
quicker. I'm. I'm able. I'm. I'm more mindful as
I'm going through a tragic experience. I'm kind
(44:57):
of. It's almost like this out of body experience.
I'm kind of like, okay, what's happening? All
right. It's like happening in slow motion, you
know, And I'm able to feel safe even in those
scariest of moments and go, okay, we can get
through this. And because as we know, you know,
(45:21):
we're going to have more, you know, hopefully not
too tragic, but we're going to have things that
happen in life. Our parents pass away. We'll have
friends and family pass away. We'll have things
that happen that are beyond our control. And it's
part of life, so some of it. And the better that
we're. That we can take care of ourselves, the
(45:42):
better that we can handle it.
>> Ariel Garten (45:44):
Yep.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:45):
This is.
>> Ariel Garten (45:46):
This is wisdom. The ability to learn from patterns
of the past and make better choices in the future.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:52):
Yeah, I. I would sing the song, but I can't sing
that. I Can. You know, I said I can. I can see
clearly now. Remember the. The Windex commercial?
>> Ariel Garten (46:06):
I will sing because I have no shame about my
voice. It's something I worked on in my head. I
can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see
all the obstacles in my way.
I need to know the rest of the words.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:28):
That was awesome. I love it. I love it.
>> Ariel Garten (46:31):
Thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:32):
All right, so tell us where we can get our muse.
>> Ariel Garten (46:37):
so you can find out more about muse@choosemuse.com
and it's going to be a bright, bright, bright,
bright sunshine a day.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:52):
Love it.
>> Ariel Garten (46:53):
So I think you have a discount code. Sorry, we're
so off topic.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:58):
Oh, yes. yeah, use code Valentine. And it's 15
off, which is great. And you guys. Yeah, let me
know, like, if you get one. I'm gonna get one
because I'll be back in the States next week. I
want one. I want one. but if you get one,
definitely post and tag me and tag. Choose Muse. I
(47:21):
want to. I'll. I'll make a little reel. You know,
I love reels. I make reels all the time. But I'll
do one with my. My muse would be great. Thank you.
>> Ariel Garten (47:32):
Oh, my pleasure. Oh, thank you. Thank you for the
space, to be honest. Yeah. Now all I want to do is
sing because it's gonna be a bright, bright,
bright, bright sunshine a day.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:47):
Oh, you're a good singer. I need to meditate into
being a good singer.
>> Ariel Garten (47:53):
Just do it. Just practice. Just get the stories
out of your head that you're not.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:57):
I know, I know. Thank you, everyone. Have a
bright, bright, bright sun, sunshiny day.
>> Ariel Garten (48:04):
Much love. This was so fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (48:08):
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change, or spit out your
coffee laughing? Good. Then there are three. Three
ways you can thank me. Number one, you can leave a
written review of this podcast on Apple iTunes.
Number two, you can take a screenshot of the
episode and share it on the social media. And tag
me Wendy Valentine. Number three, share it with
(48:31):
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know
who I'm talking about. Thank you so much for
listening to the show. Get out there and be bold.
Be free. Be you.
>> Ariel Garten (48:42):
Sa.
I'm thinking about all the people who are
(00:01):
listening to this, all of whom we have all had
screwed up traumas in our life. We have all had
people who made bad choices in our presence that
we can be very, very angry about if we, if we
choose to. And we can come back into this present
moment and know that they're no longer here, and
their choices no longer need to affect us because
(00:24):
we can rewrite the story in our mind and body and
rewrite the story story of how it affects us. And
recognize that here, today, now, in this house, in
this room, wherever we are, we are safe. And we
don't need to re experience that feeling of trauma
because we can rewrite it with safety.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:42):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your
host of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's
never too late to wake up to your best life.
Whether you're navigating a career change, empty
nesting, menopause, or wondering what's next,
you're in the right place. Every week I'll bring
you real talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:03):
with experts and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding
freedom. This is your time to reinvent, rediscover
and reignite the woman you were always meant to
be. So hit that subscribe button and let's rewrite
the rules of midlife. Your new adventure starts
(01:24):
now.
>> Ariel Garten (01:26):
Foreign.
>> Wendy Valentine (01:36):
Hey friend. I have some big news for you. My
signature program, Freedom at Midlife is no longer
just a once a year thing. Nope. Now you can jump
in anytime and start changing your life the moment
you feel ready. Because let's be real, when that
wave hits, you know the one when you're like,
(01:58):
okay, I can't keep living like this. Something's
gotta give. You don't want to wait six months for
some start date. You want to start now. And now
you can. Freedom at Midlife is my seven step self
paced course designed to help you figure out who
you want to become, what life you want to create,
and exactly how to to get there. It's set up as a
(02:23):
seven week journey, but you can binge it Netflix
style if you're ready to rock your life super fast
or take it slow and let it sink in. By the time
you're done, you'll have clarity on where to start
your transformation. Your own midlife mantra
filled with superpowers and action steps. Tools to
(02:45):
lighten your emotional load and boost your energy
and confidence. A step by step path to go from
where you are to where you really Want to be in
your life, healthy boundaries to protect your new
unstoppable self, and so much more. You'll get
seven easy to follow modules, your Freedom at
(03:07):
Midlife playbook, a full suite of tools, and
access to my Freedom meditation series. All for
just wait for it 299. Seriously, it is a killer
deal for everything that you get in this program.
So if you're ready to stop waiting and start
(03:30):
creating, head to freedomidlife.com that's
freedomidlife.com and let's make this happen. Your
next chapter. Yeah, it starts whenever you decide.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm
your host, Wendy Valentine. Today's guest is
(03:52):
someone who is truly revolutionizing the way we
think about our brains and our well being, Ariel
Garten. Ariel is a neuroscientist, former
psychotherapist and the brilliant co founder of
Muse, the brain sensing headband that's helped
over half a million people meditate more deeply,
strengthening stress less and sleep better. Her
(04:14):
passion lies in showing us how to harness the
power of our own minds in practical, science
backed ways. Her work has been featured in cnn,
Forbes, the New York Times and Wired. And she's
become a sought after speaker on the future of
mental well being. Today we'll dive into how
neurofeedback and meditation tracking can
(04:37):
transform your sleep, sharpen your focus and help
you take control of your mental health in a whole
new way.
Please welcome the brilliant Ariel to the show.
>> Ariel Garten (04:51):
Hello Wendy. That was a lovely introduction. Thank
you.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:54):
You are so welcome. It's great to have you here.
And before we hit record, I shared with you that
I'm like obsessed with the brain and neuroscience
and meditation. So I'm so excited and to have
someone like you here to share with the audience
and let, let them know how important it is to
incorporate this into their lives.
(05:15):
so my question to you first. How did you become so
fascinated with the brain and when was that
moment? Then you were like, okay, I'm gonna
dedicate my life to this. When was that moment?
>> Ariel Garten (05:30):
Ooh, that's a great question. You sort of upped it
an ante. When you're like, I know, when will I
dedicate my life to this? so 46. Almost. 46. 45
and three quarters. seven eighths. 45 and seven
eighths. I been fascinated by the brain since I
was a little kid. 40, let's call it 39 years ago.
(05:55):
Kind of like wondering how it is that we think we
move, we act as I got A little older, I discovered
there was this thing called the brain that
governed our behaviors and our thoughts and our
feelings. And so I went on to school to study
neuroscience and psychotherapy and psychology,
trying to understand how it is that we have this
organ in our head that creates our complex
(06:18):
existence of life, our ability to think and feel
and direct our own will. And I started working a
research lab in the early 2000s with an early
brain computer interface system. So a simple
system that, you put an electrode to your head,
and by focusing, relaxing, by shifting your brain
state, we could actually use that information to
(06:39):
start controlling things around us. So we could
turn our brain activity into sound that we could
hear, or use it to translate it into lights. And
that was the moment where I was like, wow, you
know, we have a brain in our head that seems that
it's so inaccessible, yet using technology, we can
(07:00):
learn how to access it in some ways and interact
with it. And that became my journey to muse, along
the way, with a decade of psychotherapy, which is
another method of teaching people to understand
and shift their own mind, and ultimately, bringing
the world a product that lets you interact with
your brain, track your mental health, improve your
(07:23):
meditation, your sleep, and, you know, that's all
still just the tip of the iceberg to help people
understand and improve their life by improving
their brain.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:33):
You know, I. I, think it's pretty wild that it
wasn't. And you would probably know this
information better than I do, but it wasn't that
long ago that they discovered that you can
actually rewire the brain, what, maybe 35 years
ago? Roughly 35, 40 years ago, yes.
>> Ariel Garten (07:51):
The concept of neuroplasticity is really recent.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:54):
I know this is crazy. I'm like.
>> Ariel Garten (07:58):
I didn't.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:58):
Like, I think we're, like, pretty smart human
beings. I'm like, why did it take us that long? Or
why did it take us that long to put wheels on a
suitcase? But the neuroplasticity, I'm like, how
did we not know this? But thank God we do know
this, right? And for me, like, I started
meditating probably, oh, gosh, maybe 12 years ago,
(08:23):
roughly. But I didn't like it at all. I was doing
it because, like, all right, you're supposed to do
this. As a matter of fact, I was getting trained
in yoga, and it was part of the whole, you know,
program. So I was like, okay, fine. And I would
just sit there in the room with all these other
people, and I will. All I could think about was
like, I know my stomach's about to growl, and
everyone's going to be like, oh, my God, Wendy's
(08:44):
stomach is growling again. That's all I could
think about. I. I could not. I hated it. I hated,
hated meditation. And then I started. Then, you
know, some of these apps would start coming out
with guided meditations. I was like, maybe I'll
try guided meditation, you know? And then I was
like, all right, it did that. But I still. I would
just kind of sit there, and I'd think about what I
(09:05):
was gonna make for dinner. And during the guided
meditation, then what changed was the
neuroplasticity and the neuroscience part of it.
When I realized, like, oh, you can literally
change your brain. So if I had had this belief my
(09:26):
whole life that I'm not good enough, I'm not smart
enough, I can never be an author, I can never have
my own show. I can never. Wah, wah, wah.
>> Ariel Garten (09:35):
I.
>> Wendy Valentine (09:36):
That I could actually change all of those beliefs
into whatever the heck I want. That's when
meditation changed for me. When it finally clicked
that I had, that was my light bulb moment. When
that went off in my brain, I was like, wow, you
(09:56):
can not only change your brain, but you can change
your body, you can change your life, you can
change everything. And it's in that little squishy
sponge inside your skull, which is fascinating.
>> Ariel Garten (10:10):
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And that was what was so
powerful to me, too. So, you know, as a early
meditator, I hated it as well. My brain would
bounce all over the place. I was naturally kind of
ADD entrepreneur type who wanted to do a million
things and had all these ideas, and the idea of
sitting there and just having nothing go on in my
mind was terrifying. And then when I was finally
(10:31):
got into the practice and I finally recognized
what it could do for me, I was like, wow, this is
worth it. and you're so right when you say that we
can change our brain and change our own
perceptions about ourselves. And that's
fascinating because there's two different ways to
(10:52):
get into shifting the brain. One is through
language. So one is through retraining our beliefs
and our thoughts. And the other is through
actually changing the organ itself. Like doing the
work to strengthen the organ, doing the work to
change the neural pathways through different forms
of stimulation beyond just thought. And so, you
(11:13):
know, meditation actually works on both of these
pathways to help us improve our cognitive
function, our outlook on life or feeling about
ourself, and literally change our brain and change
our lives.
>> Wendy Valentine (11:27):
So tell the listener, maybe someone that's like,
brand New to meditation and changing the brain.
What, what is happening? If you were just to sit
meditation for 20 minutes, you know, 20, 30
minutes, whatever. What's happening? What's
happening inside the brain?
>> Ariel Garten (11:45):
Cool. So let's talk about it on two in two
different domains. One, what are we doing? And
then two, what's actually happening in the brain?
So in a basic meditation, the most basic one you
do is usually focused attention meditation. And
you've probably been told to just sit and count
your breaths or watch your breaths. So I'm sitting
there, my eyes are closed, I put my attention on
(12:05):
my breath, and then eventually my attention is
going to wander away onto a thought. And then I'm
like, oh, right, grocery store, blah, blah, blah,
blah. And then you're like, oh, I'm supposed to be
meditating. Okay, let go of the thought, back to
my breath. And then you put your attention on your
breath. Then your mind wanders away again. You're
like, right, meditation, back to the breath. This
is all it is. I know it sounds ridiculously
(12:29):
straightforward in a certain respect. You're just,
your mind is wandering, you're noticing, you're
returning it. Wandering, noticing, returning it.
And every time you do that, what you're actually
doing is strengthening your brain. The one hand,
as your mind wanders away onto these thoughts, and
these thoughts are often like, stressful,
(12:49):
frustrating, annoying. And most of us just go
through our lives thinking those thoughts. We just
assume these are the thoughts in our head and
we're supposed to be thinking them because they're
there and we don't even think about it. It just,
it's what happens with meditation. What you learn
is that your mind can be on a thought. And you can
have a choice. You can recognize, hey, my brain is
(13:11):
on this thing and I can choose to do something
else. I can let go of that thought and bring it on
to the work. I'm doing something else. I want to
be thinking about a person. I love the person I'm
talking to. And you can actually have control over
your own, mind. Yeah. So that is huge. You're
learning to control your thoughts, control your
(13:32):
mental space. Now, on a neuroscientific level,
what you're doing is you are strengthening your
prefrontal cortex and you're strengthening your
ability to. You're strengthening, you're
strengthening your ability to manage your brain.
(13:53):
Let me just try all that.
>> Wendy Valentine (13:54):
All right.
>> Ariel Garten (14:02):
So on the one hand, you are learning to move your
mind away from your thoughts and choose the
contents of your own mind. On the other, Hand,
you're actually changing your brain itself. So
jump back, little neuroscience lesson here. The
front of our head, we have thing called our
prefrontal cortex. And the prefrontal cortex is
(14:24):
the part of our brain responsible for thinking,
planning, attention, inhibition, and really all
that higher order processing that we do. In the
middle of our brain is a little organ, organoid
part of our brain called the amygdala. And the
amygdala is the part of our brain associated with
(14:45):
fear, anxiety, fight or flight behavior. And as we
go through our life, our amygdala is constantly
scanning for things that are wrong and then
generating thoughts about it and feelings about
it. So it's like, oh, no, you know, there's a
snake in front of you. We should be scared and run
away and think, oh, you know, this is scary. Oh,
(15:09):
there's a stain on my pants and I'm going into an
interview. I should feel really embarrassed and I
should think, oh, no, this is awful. And I should
focus my attention on my stain for the next 20
minutes rather than preparing for my interview
properly. These are the things Nicola does. And
during a meditation practice, what we find
ourselves doing is actually learning to down
(15:31):
regulate the activity of the amygdala. So long
term, meditators have not just less activity in
their amygdala, but actually smaller amygdalas
overall.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:42):
Interesting.
>> Ariel Garten (15:43):
And at the same time, we're strengthening our
prefrontal cortex. We're strengthening our brain's
ability to inhibit, to attend, to think, to play
plan. And we're actually strengthening the
relationship between the amygdala and the
prefrontal cortex. We're strengthening the, the
prefrontal cortex's ability to quiet that amygdala
to calm ourselves down. So as we do this very
(16:05):
simple practice of meditation, just noticing our
thoughts and coming back to our breath, we are not
only learning to take control of our own minds and
our thoughts, but we're actually changing and
strengthening our own brain.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:17):
Ah, so cool. So, yeah, I mean, instead of your.
Your mind controlling you, you are controlling
your mind.
>> Ariel Garten (16:26):
Yes, yes, yes and yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:28):
M. I mean, I know for me, I, can. I can vouch that
that's all completely true because that's how I
changed my life. That's how I got to where I'm at
today, you know, I mean, truly yay. Thank God for.
But I mean, I had the realization of. I was like,
you know, we're pretty much, we're all
brainwashed, right? We're all brainwashed to
(16:49):
believe something. And then I thought, well, what
if I actually am the one that chooses what I put
in my brain and what I. What, like, I wanted. I
wanted to be a control freak of my own brain. And
I was like, I'm gonna start taking control here of
this thing, because I felt like, especially at
that point in my life seven years ago, I felt out
(17:10):
of control. I felt like that amygdala was like.
>> Ariel Garten (17:13):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:15):
It was just having, like, a grand old time, like,
just running the show. And I was like, no, you
cannot do that anymore. No. So it does totally
make sense that it's not only are you benefiting
from it emotionally, obviously, but even, like,
the physical benefit in your brain. Like you said,
(17:36):
even their amygdala is, like, getting smaller.
It's not as, Yeah, it's not as in control as it
was before.
>> Ariel Garten (17:44):
Yeah. And what you find is that as you start to
move through life, things seem easier. You don't
have as many ruminative thoughts. You feel calmer
because that amygdala is not sending you fear
signals as often. Right. And you find yourself
more in control of the world around you, more in
control of how you act and how you react. And so
(18:05):
this little practice of meditation, that,
ironically, for many people, we feel so out of
control of when we start, so many of us are like,
oh, my God, we suck at meditation.
I can't do this. I, want to run away. if you just
stick through it, if you just, you know, use the
tools and stick with it, you will get to the other
side, where it has given you so much more control
in your life that you can't imagine life without
(18:26):
it.
>> Wendy Valentine (18:27):
I know, I know, I know. I miss it. Actually,
sometimes, like, I'm like, I get excited. Like,
I'm like, oh, I can't wait to get up in the
morning, go meditate. I'm like, yeah, I never
thought I'd say that.
So, all right, so let's talk about Muse, which I'm
excited to learn about this. This cool little
headband that basically takes your brain to a
(18:49):
whole other level, from what I understand.
>> Ariel Garten (18:53):
It totally does.
>> Wendy Valentine (18:54):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (18:55):
So what Muse does is it tracks your brain activity
and gives you real time feedback during your
meditation to let you know when you're doing it
right and when your mind is wandering. So rather
than just sitting there alone wondering what
you're supposed to be doing or if you're doing it
right, Muse is actually tracking your brain during
meditation. It's being able to track when you're
(19:17):
focused on your breath and when your mind wanders
and it gives you beautiful audio cues. So when
you're focused on your breath, little birds tweet,
letting you know that, yep, you're in the right
space. Just keep going. You're there. And then
when your mind wanders onto a thought, the sound
of the rain or storm picks up. That lets you know,
hey, your mind is wandering. It's getting stormy.
Come on. Back to focused attention.
(19:39):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:39):
It's so cool. I love it. It's genius. It's so
genius.
>> Ariel Garten (19:43):
Okay, so it's incredibly cool. And it has helped,
actually, half a million people either start or
deepen their meditation practice. So it's been an
incredible tool. It was the way that I learned to
meditate and the way that many people in my life
learned to meditate. And I was actually just at a
conference this weekend, and I had somebody who
came up to me. a male, in his, I would say, early
(20:03):
50s. And he was actually crying and say, this
saved my life. Because I was able to start the
practice and shift the way that I thought and I
felt and shift my life.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:15):
That's so awesome. I have goosebumps. That's so
cool.
>> Ariel Garten (20:18):
Oh, yeah. Like, I started crying. I kept hugging
in him, and he's like, no, no, I'm schmitzy. Like,
don't hug me. But, like, we wanted to connect. It
was. This was unbelievable. And then he. We were
sitting with a group of men, actually, and then
he. At the end, as we were saying goodbye, you
know, he started to kind of get teared up again,
and he turned to the group of men and explained,
like, this saved my life. I was in deep
(20:38):
depression. And then all of them sort of reached
out their hand to him and was like, we see you,
man. It was the most beautiful thing.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:44):
Oh, changing lives. Yeah. There were some stats I
saw on your website, actually. I have them here in
front of me. And 77 felt they had a better handle
on their stress. That's huge. Just that alone,
that is saving a life right there. Right. Because
we always know, like, stress is the number one
(21:05):
killer. Right? I mean, that's huge. 78 reported
being more calm and relaxed. Don't we all need
that? 72% reported better focus and clarity. We
all need that, too. 72% reported having better
emotional regulation. I mean, with our busy lives.
(21:26):
My gosh.
And how much. Okay, how much. How much time do you
feel that we need to dedicate in our day to the
meditation with the muse, of course.
>> Ariel Garten (21:38):
Good question. We've done a lot of studies with
muse. There have actually been over 200 peer
reviewed, published studies using MUSE by third
parties. the Mayo Clinic was really the first one
to publish. They used Muse with women awaiting
surgery for breast cancer. They gave muses to
these women and they saw, a decrease in their
(21:59):
stress, a decrease in their fatigue and
improvement in their quality of life. For that
very first study, the instruction was use it for a
minimum of three minutes a day. Women would start
with three minutes a day, they would like it and
they'd continue up to five, seven, maybe 10. But
that would tend to be the max. Then in follow up
(22:19):
studies that we've done, Mayo Clinic has now done
probably seven studies using Muse, including one
with their own doctors. during the pandemic they
gave them muses to help improve their stress and
anxiety. What they SAW was a 54% decrease in
burnout, and improvements in cognition and sleep.
And there when we looked back at the data or they
(22:40):
did the analysis, so when they looked back at the
data and they saw how long people had meditated
for, it was on average five minutes a day. So not
very much.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:50):
I mean we could all find five minutes.
>> Ariel Garten (22:54):
And obviously, you know, it does improve the more
you do. But don't let time be a barrier. just tell
yourself, I'm just going to sit down for three
minutes. If I like it, I'll do three more minutes.
You know, next time if I like it, I'll do five
minutes. we tend to say the sweet spot is about 10
minutes a day. But even five minutes produces
(23:15):
phenomenally impactful results.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:17):
It's like, it's like exercise for your brain.
>> Ariel Garten (23:20):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:21):
Yeah. It's like, okay, let's go for, let's go for
a little walk, right? Because it's strengthening
that muscle, strengthening the brain. So the goal
in, the goal is while you're doing the meditation,
that you don't, it's not guided. Right. It's just,
you're just, your goal is to not think.
>> Ariel Garten (23:43):
So the goal is not to not think. The goal is to
maintain stable, focused attention on one thing,
which is your breath. So I'm just going to
maintain my attention on my breath. I'm going to
be fully absorbed in this thing. Thing. And as you
do that, you are dramatically strengthening your
prefrontal cortex and your ability to maintain
(24:04):
your attention. And you're teaching your brain how
to notice when it's distracted and then choose to
move away from the distractions and back onto your
one object of stable, focused attention. M. So
there's a common misconception that. Okay, well
your mind's just supposed to go blank and like,
you know, and we all think, oh my God, my mind
(24:26):
will never go blank. I can't do that. We're all
going to have thoughts because that's what happens
in life. We have lots of thoughts. What you learn
in meditation is how to manage those thoughts, how
to manage the, thinking and to redirect it into
the area that you care about.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:40):
Mm, Does it, does it track it through the brain
waves? Like is, are you mostly, what is it theta
or alpha?
>> Ariel Garten (24:50):
Yep. So we with Muse, we read full spectrum eeg.
actually a lot of the studies done with Muse are
using it in research labs as a clinical grade EEG
device. So we're reading your eeg, your brain
waves, and then it's detecting the brainwave, a
pattern associated with focused attention, which
is primarily alpha, but has a number of other
(25:12):
components as well. And then it's reinforcing your
brain when you enter into that brainwave pattern.
What's interesting, what we've seen in our own
studies and in the literature, is that the
brainwave pattern that you're, teaching it, that
focused attention, primarily alpha based brainwave
pattern, is also associated with brains that work
more efficiently and effectively and can be
(25:34):
correlated with brain age. So we, we've seen that
this activity, you know, not only improves your
quality of life, but also seems to have a
significant impact on the brain and the aging of
the brain. And when you look at the work of Dr.
Eileen Lueders, she did a study looking at long
term meditators and looking at how old their
(25:57):
brains looked. And what she saw was people who had
a long term meditation practice, their brain
looked on average 7.5 years younger than non.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:08):
Oo. Wow, that's huge. I hope my brain looks hot
and sexy and young. They're gonna be like, wow,
look at.
>> Ariel Garten (26:18):
That brain of hers.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:19):
Holy moly.
>> Ariel Garten (26:21):
Look at that awesome gray matter. Yeah, you're
gonna have, you know, full prefrontal cortex. It's
going to be voluptuous. You know, your Michael is
not going to be flabby.
>> Wendy Valentine (26:32):
No flabby brain. No flabby brain.
If you haven't heard the news yet, my book, Women
Waking up the Midlife Manifesto for Passion,
Purpose and Play is finally here, ready for you to
read, soak up the wisdom and change your life.
This isn't just another self help book. It's a
(26:54):
step by step guide to help you break free from
what's holding you back, rediscover your
strengths. And design a life that feels full of
purpose, joy, and freedom. Whether you're
navigating divorce, career changes, health
struggles, or just that restless midlife feeling,
these seven steps will help you reinvent yourself
(27:15):
and step into the next chapter with confidence.
You can grab the book wherever books are sold, in
digital, paperback, and even audio read by yours
truly. Plus, you'll get over $500 in bonuses that
go along with the book, including the Women Waking
up playbook, guided meditations, and a digital
(27:37):
vision board. Just head to womenwakingup.com and
one quick favor, if you've already grabbed your
copy, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Please take a moment to leave a review on Amazon.
With over 40 million books on Amazon, your review
makes this one more visible so other women can
(28:00):
find it too. And together, we can change lives. So
grab your copy, leave a review, and let's wake up
to our best selves together.
What about for dementia or Alzheimer's? Have been
studies yet with it?
>> Ariel Garten (28:16):
Yeah, so there's, quite a number of studies with
older adults using MUSE as a meditation tool. so
one study published by Baycrest and the center for
Aging and Brain Health Innovation, they actually
looked at loneliness, older individuals who were
lonely using muse, and they saw decreases in
depression and improvements in quality of life.
Then there's a number of studies done with
(28:39):
individuals with mild cognitive impairment and
with Alzheimer's. those studies are primarily
looking at the brain activity associated with them
and also looking at sleep. And the. There's one
big Alzheimer's study that will be coming out, so
I can't comment on the results yet. But I can tell
you that meditation is one of the primary
(29:01):
suggestions for the prevention of Alzheimer's and
age related cognitive decline.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:06):
Yeah, yeah. And then sleep. I know that's gotta be
a big one. Especially, I don't know, I feel like,
especially in midlife. Right. Or 40s and 50s,
like, I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to get my sleep
now. After having three kids, I lost so much sleep
all those years. I'm like, God dang it, I'm gonna
sleep. Like, nobody wake me, up. So how does this
(29:29):
help with sleep?
>> Ariel Garten (29:31):
Sure. So we have two different, muses. So we have
the Muse 2, which is primarily a meditation,
neurofeedback and brain health tool. And then we
have a second device, muse, s. Athena. And. And
that actually helps with sleep. So that is able to
track your sleep as effectively as a sleep lab. So
(29:51):
it can track your EEG of sleep. Just like if you
went into a sleep lab. And it's more effective
than a Fitbit or an Oura ring or any of them. And
it's used widely by scientists in place of a sleep
lab. And with that one, you get a ton of beautiful
sleep support. So there's a course called 14 Days
of Sleep that helps you learn how to sleep better.
(30:12):
And there's meditation, specifically for improved
slee sleep. And then we have a tool called the
digital sleeping pill, which is.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:20):
I saw that.
>> Ariel Garten (30:22):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:22):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (30:24):
So it's tracking your brain activity as you move
from wakefulness into sleep. And it's changing,
the audio experience that you're having. So you're
listening to audio as you're falling asleep, and
as we start to see your brain move into sleep, it
shifts the audio in such a way that it helps you
fall asleep faster. And if you wear the device
throughout the night, if you wake up in the middle
(30:44):
of the night, it brings back the same experience
that helped you fall asleep the first time to help
you fall back asleep. So it's been proven to be
really effective at improving sleep quality. And
if you're someone like me that started waking up
in the middle of night with sweats and you're
like, why is my body feeling gross and the sheets
(31:04):
all wet and disgusting?
>> Wendy Valentine (31:07):
Hello, Menopause. Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (31:09):
Yep. Perimenopause over here.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:12):
yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (31:13):
And so using a tool like Muse to help you just
fall back asleep and be like, it doesn't matter.
You don't have to get up and change all your seats
right now. You can let go of your anxiety, just
fall back asleep. It's all good. Oh my God. That
was a game changer.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:26):
Yeah. That's huge. Because we know too, right?
Like, if you don't sleep good at night, like, your
next day, you're just like really struggling. That
makes it tough.
>> Ariel Garten (31:38):
Yeah. And it decreases your emotional self
regulation and it decreases your cognitive
function in the long term and increases your risk
of things like heart disease. Sleep is incredibly
important.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:50):
Yeah. I always say too, like, now, like, I'm 52
now, like, but I what I do today, it's what I'm
doing for my 90 year old self. I'm always
choosing, trying to choose very healthy things,
whether it's food or my sleep and meditation, so
that I am taking care of my 90 year old self so
(32:13):
that I want her to be like, thank you so much.
Like, thank you so much for choosing M Muse. Like,
thank you so much for doing all these things for
me because I want her to be healthy.
At 90, I want her, you know, her brain to be
working and functioning properly. I want to be
able to move up and down the stairs and do all
(32:35):
those things when I'm 90 years old. And you know,
it's like the stuff we don't think about though,
we just think like we're going to be young forever
and then we wake up and we're like, holy moly.
Like, you know, I'm in my 70s, I'm in my 80s, so
it's like, it's so, so critical. What we do for
our bodies today is what we're doing for our
bodies for tomorrow and the next day and the next
(32:56):
day.
>> Ariel Garten (32:57):
It is so incredibly critical. And thank you for
putting into words because I do the same thing but
hadn't thought about it that way. So for me,
exercise is one of those where I don't love doing
it, but I do it because I know I need to be
healthy and strong for the next 10, 20, 30 years.
And I see my parents who exercise and my friend's
(33:19):
parents that don't and what a drastic difference
it's made. And meditation is one of those things
that also like I, I look at people who've
meditated and see how brilliantly their brains
work as they, they age. It just is one of those
things that like healthy eating, like sleeping,
like exercise, you just have to build in now to
(33:40):
future proof your brain and body.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:42):
Yeah. And you know what's fascinating too with
the, you know, as you meditate, you're, you're
strengthening your brain. The things that like if
you struggled with maybe eating disorder or with
depression or anxiety, like some of these things
just naturally will fade because you're focusing
(34:02):
all on making your well being, like improving your
well being with your brain and with your body. For
me, as I, you know, looking back seven years ago
when I really started getting into the meditation,
there were things in my life that just naturally
changed without me trying to change it, in other
words. So I think it's, you know, it's one of
(34:25):
those things like if it's you, if you focus on the
right things, on improving your health, some of
these things will just naturally because. And you,
and you'll want to make better choices for
yourself as you improve the health of your brain.
>> Ariel Garten (34:44):
So that's interesting that your feeling was that
they would naturally fade. And I think for me it's
been a process of noticing what the problem is,
noticing where my brain and body are getting stuck
on it and then applying the skills that I've
learned to try to shift them. So I had, I had a
trauma in my 20s, which led to multiple chemical
(35:06):
sensitivities. And so, you know, I'd go into a
room and I'd smell Windex from, ah, across the
room. And I'd be like, oh, my God, this is awful.
I can't be in here. And then I'd start to get all
these reactions to it. And, for me, unfortunately,
it wasn't naturally fading.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:22):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (35:24):
What I was able to do was to notice, like, okay,
I'm getting a fear response. This is Windex. Let's
look around the room. Everybody else is fine. It's
just me that's freaking out. I'm now going to
apply what I've learned in my meditation practice.
I'm going to apply what I've learned in being able
to shift my mind away from it. and through taking
(35:45):
what I learned in meditation training and now
applying it to this problem in my life, I could
retrain myself to be okay with Windex. I'm
actually. I'm laughing because I'm literally
looking over now and there is Windex on the
countertop. It didn't even occur to me.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:01):
well, especially with all those windows back
there. Like, you're gonna need a lot of Windex
with all those windows, you know?
>> Ariel Garten (36:08):
Yes. And I can now, like, I don't get anxiety
thinking about using Windex.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:14):
It's because. And it's also like. I mean, Yeah, I
totally agree with what you're saying, too. And
it's. It's also just the awareness, like, you're
not, like, you're not on autopilot anymore. It's
easier to kind of snap out of those moments. And I
mean, for me, I. I had suffered from, like, some
ptsd, and. And I would just all of a sudden go
(36:34):
into a panic attack. And I was like, what is it
like? But even in those moments, I was able to go,
okay, all right, I can pause and, like, take. You
know, I was able to calm myself quicker, so much
faster than before, where it would have just
split, spiraled out of control before.
>> Ariel Garten (36:56):
Yeah, I. I so associate with that. I used to have
this feeling of, like, being wrapped around my. My
chest, as part of my trauma. and it would happen.
And then one day I stopped and I realized, hold
on. This is just sensation. So after, you know, a
while in my meditation practice. Because what you
do in meditation is you sit there and you feel
(37:18):
stuff come up and. And you realize you're fine.
You're like, you feel the sense of fear and it's
like I'm just sitting here alone in my room. I'm
fine. And normally I would feel the fear and then
the fear would take over and then it would spiral,
spiral, spiral. And one day I could just sort of
feel the fear and be like, hold on, it's just a
feeling. I can just like take care of myself and
(37:39):
manage that feeling. And like there's not actually
somebody grabbing me right now. I'm totally fine
and safe. And I started to re pattern my
experience of it and I could be with the sensation
and realize it was fine. And it took two or three
times of the sensation coming back again and me
just being actually, I don't need this. Actually,
(38:01):
I'm okay. And instead of playing through the whole
like, physiological drama that I would have before
of like, oh my God, the fear, the panic, I could
just totally cut it out and rewire it. It was,
like astonishing. Now that I'm thinking back to
it, you know that thing that had plagued me for so
long when I was able to break it down and realize
it was just my body playing back the story and
(38:25):
that I was safe in this moment and I had control
to change the story in my mind and body. I'm gonna
start crying now.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:33):
It was, yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (38:35):
That was an extraordinary moment.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:37):
Yeah. Isn't that so cool?
>> Ariel Garten (38:40):
Wow. Okay.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:43):
Oh, it's okay.
>> Ariel Garten (38:45):
I'm. I'm crying because. Sorry. M. It's okay. the
crying is very, very good because I'm realizing
that I'm sitting in a room with windows behind me.
You had pointed out the windows and in the past,
had I started to think about the story and feel
that sensation, if I realized that there was
(39:06):
windows behind me and I wasn't protected behind
me, I would have been kind of freaking out now.
And I just realized that I can sit here and have a
beautiful set of windows behind me which, you
know, makes it feel very open and unprotected. And
I can tell you the story and I can feel like the
little glimmer of what it used to feel like and
(39:26):
then that can all go away and I can know I'm safe.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:29):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (39:30):
Wow.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:31):
That's when you know it works.
>> Ariel Garten (39:35):
Yeah.
Yep. And I'm thinking about all the people who are
listening to this, all of whom. We have all had
screwed up traumas in our life. We've all had
people who made bad choices in our presence that
we can be very, very angry about if we, if we
choose to. And we can come back into this present
(39:57):
moment to know that they're no longer here. and
their choices no longer need to affect us. Because
we can rewrite the story in our mind and body and
rewrite the story of how it affects us.
And recognize that here, today, now, in this
house, in this room, wherever we are, we are safe.
And we don't need to re experience that feeling of
(40:18):
trauma because we can rewrite it with safety.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:22):
Well said. It's a good thing. And you know too, I
have found that it's like, and myself included,
we've been through some crappy times in our lives,
but it motivates us to find the solutions for
(40:45):
ourselves and find for others so that they too can
be at peace and be in harmony.
>> Ariel Garten (40:53):
I only wish for all my sisters to be at peace.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:56):
Yeah. Yeah. Muse had a. Has a huge, had a huge,
motivation behind it.
>> Ariel Garten (41:04):
Yeah. It, it really was the motivation of teaching
us that we can have thoughts in our head and we
can know that they're not true and we can make a
different choice.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (41:21):
And all those stories that we tell ourselves of,
oh, we're not good enough, or oh, I can't have
this, or I don't deserve this, they're all just
stories. I know.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:30):
I, know.
>> Ariel Garten (41:30):
Yeah. They're all imposter syndrome. They're all
just the inner critic. They're all just the
internalized voice of the parent who didn't
believe in you or, you know, whatever. Whatever it
came from for you. And you can absolutely rewrite
those stories. The first step is noticing them.
And the second step is moving your mind away from
them onto something else. And after you notice
(41:52):
them, you can do the deep work of counteracting
them. So if the story comes up that you're not
good enough, just find five examples, one example,
half an example of how you are. And then anytime
that story comes back again, it's just like, you
are not real. You are not true. Pushing you away,
bringing my attention elsewhere. You are not real.
You are not true. Bringing my attention elsewhere.
And if you do that enough times, you rewrite your
(42:16):
own story.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:17):
Yeah. Yeah, we're living proof. It's a good
feeling too, isn't it? I mean, it's so cliche of
change your. Change your thoughts, change your
world, but.
>> Ariel Garten (42:30):
Change your mind, change your life.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:32):
Yeah, but so true. So true. And I think with
meditation, it really does for me. It helped me to
notice what I was thinking. I didn't even know I
was thinking. What, like what I Was thinking
about. I had to slow down enough and cut the
external noise so that I could hear my internal
(42:53):
noise so that I could have more peace in my mind
and in my heart and in my soul. Because it was.
It's exhausting, you know, like having your mind
control you. But it's nice, so nice when you can
(43:14):
take back control and everyone can. Every single
human being can. That's what's cool about being a
human being, is that we can do that.
>> Ariel Garten (43:24):
Yes. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:27):
Thank you so much for sharing.
>> Ariel Garten (43:30):
Oh, that was. That was, That was good.
That was a deep one. I just felt this anger and
fear for everyone who has gone through shitty
experiences. The anger. Let me, Let me write that.
Let me restart that. I just felt this anger for
(43:51):
everyone who had gone through shitty experiences.
and I felt the anger for all the people who've
caused those experiences in other people's lives.
and on the flip side of that is the power to take
back our own narratives and to take back our own
stories in our minds and stories in our bodies.
(44:13):
You know, the emotional reactions that m. We have
and to know that we are capable of rewriting them.
Incapable of coming back to our real intrinsic
self. Our. Our own truth.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:29):
Yeah.
>> Ariel Garten (44:30):
Our own truth with new layers of wisdom. Having
learned and transformed from all the things that
have happened to us.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:36):
Yeah. Yeah. Plus, I find it's a little bit easier
now when things. I had something happen not too
long ago, a few weeks ago, and I bounced back
quicker. I'm. I'm able. I'm. I'm more mindful as
I'm going through a tragic experience. I'm kind
(44:57):
of. It's almost like this out of body experience.
I'm kind of like, okay, what's happening? All
right. It's like happening in slow motion, you
know, And I'm able to feel safe even in those
scariest of moments and go, okay, we can get
through this. And because as we know, you know,
(45:21):
we're going to have more, you know, hopefully not
too tragic, but we're going to have things that
happen in life. Our parents pass away. We'll have
friends and family pass away. We'll have things
that happen that are beyond our control. And it's
part of life, so some of it. And the better that
we're. That we can take care of ourselves, the
(45:42):
better that we can handle it.
>> Ariel Garten (45:44):
Yep.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:45):
This is.
>> Ariel Garten (45:46):
This is wisdom. The ability to learn from patterns
of the past and make better choices in the future.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:52):
Yeah, I. I would sing the song, but I can't sing
that. I Can. You know, I said I can. I can see
clearly now. Remember the. The Windex commercial?
>> Ariel Garten (46:06):
I will sing because I have no shame about my
voice. It's something I worked on in my head. I
can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see
all the obstacles in my way.
I need to know the rest of the words.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:28):
That was awesome. I love it. I love it.
>> Ariel Garten (46:31):
Thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:32):
All right, so tell us where we can get our muse.
>> Ariel Garten (46:37):
so you can find out more about muse@choosemuse.com
and it's going to be a bright, bright, bright,
bright sunshine a day.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:52):
Love it.
>> Ariel Garten (46:53):
So I think you have a discount code. Sorry, we're
so off topic.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:58):
Oh, yes. yeah, use code Valentine. And it's 15
off, which is great. And you guys. Yeah, let me
know, like, if you get one. I'm gonna get one
because I'll be back in the States next week. I
want one. I want one. but if you get one,
definitely post and tag me and tag. Choose Muse. I
(47:21):
want to. I'll. I'll make a little reel. You know,
I love reels. I make reels all the time. But I'll
do one with my. My muse would be great. Thank you.
>> Ariel Garten (47:32):
Oh, my pleasure. Oh, thank you. Thank you for the
space, to be honest. Yeah. Now all I want to do is
sing because it's gonna be a bright, bright,
bright, bright sunshine a day.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:47):
Oh, you're a good singer. I need to meditate into
being a good singer.
>> Ariel Garten (47:53):
Just do it. Just practice. Just get the stories
out of your head that you're not.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:57):
I know, I know. Thank you, everyone. Have a
bright, bright, bright sun, sunshiny day.
>> Ariel Garten (48:04):
Much love. This was so fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (48:08):
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change, or spit out your
coffee laughing? Good. Then there are three. Three
ways you can thank me. Number one, you can leave a
written review of this podcast on Apple iTunes.
Number two, you can take a screenshot of the
episode and share it on the social media. And tag
me Wendy Valentine. Number three, share it with
(48:31):
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know
who I'm talking about. Thank you so much for
listening to the show. Get out there and be bold.
Be free. Be you.
>> Ariel Garten (48:42):
Sa.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com