Raw SOS podcast: Episode 7 Shit Beer Olympics: Heat 1

Join the Rawso’s Adam, Wez and special guest Jimbo in Episode 7 of the Row SOS Podcast, proudly sponsored by Metal Church Roofing. In this hilarious and wild episode, the gang embarks on the first heat of the "Shit Beer Olympics," blindfolded taste-testing some of the worst beers they could find from Newtown, Sydney.

Along the way, they share laugh-out-loud stories of their adventures in music, including Jimbo's experiences with the band Vanquish and their notorious film shoots. They also discuss the trials and tribulations of finding a public restroom in Europe, and the absurdities of modern pop music.

Don't miss the epic stitch-up involving Adam's homebrew and Tabasco sauce, and find out which beer takes the crown as the shittiest brew of the night. Tune in for a rollercoaster of laughs, surprises, and good old Aussie banter.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
G'day. Today's sponsor of the Rorso's podcast show is Metal Church Roofing.
You give me a call for any roofing needs. If you've got a leaking roof,
if you need a re-roof, if you've got some gutters that are fucked, you give me a call.
0476 413 746. And you tell me that the... Rorso's sent ya. And I'll give you a 20% discount.

(00:26):
Fuck yeah. And what's your number again?
0476 413746 Let's go, get your fuck gutters fixed right now with the Jimbo,
We are recording, let's go Fucking hell, what a mission to start of this podcast
has been Wes Anyway, cue the new intro song Here we go.

(00:48):
Music.

(01:40):
Woo, and we're back. Episode number seven. Adam, how are we,
mate? Fucking hell, that was a good song.
That brings the energy early. Right on, let's get going.
And we've got a fucking special guest here today. Jimbo! Also.
Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, I've come down to see the boys and get on it.
Fucking is also known as Jimmy Max Power.

(02:03):
Let's go for it. So let's Jimmy Max Power this drink. We are Vanilla Galliano.
Cheers, boys. Cheers, boys.
Cheers. Woo. Let's go. Down the hatch.
Oh, yeah. That's good. Oh, yeah. What a way to start the show. Yeah, that's it.
Yum. That just hits the throat and it's really good. It's just for getting that
talking juice happening. Yeah, it gets flowing. Gets it flowing. Let's go.

(02:23):
All right. So how you been, Jimbo? What's been happening, mate?
Yeah, pretty good. Oh, you know, just flying around the traps,
you know, just keeping it real.
One job at a time, mate. One job at a time. One job at a time.
You know, just battling away.
Battling away. Been on the big jobs. Been on the big jobs. Apparently you had
a bit of a big job downstairs.
Happened to you yesterday or the day before? Yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad.

(02:45):
Yeah, fuck, what's happening, man? Well, they think I've either got a twisted
nut or a hernia. Oh, no. Chuck that in the fucker bucket.
Well and truly, give me two fucker buckets for that one. Yeah, right.
Fucking hell, man, that's fucked up, dude. So what do you mean?
Is that like just from fucking too much or?
Nah, nah, nah, just working away. Just too busy at work and then all of a sudden
bent the wrong way and whoop. Twisted your nut there, fuck.

(03:08):
Straight to the doctors. I've heard stories about that, eh? Like,
that's fucking fucked up.
And, yeah, hopefully they can sort it out for you. The fuck must be painful,
bro. Yeah, it was yesterday. But it's all right today.
It's all right today. Just one nut at a time now. Yep.
Just take it easy and, you know. See how we go. But, yeah, chuck that in the

(03:28):
fuck it bucket. Well and truly.
Yeah. So what else have we got for chucking the fuck it bucket this week, Adam?
I've got fucking, yeah, I think Tesla drivers are the new Volvo drivers.
Yeah, absolutely. Fuck me.
Seriously, you think of like a fucking Tesla, like a Volvo, it was the safest car, you know.
So they thought they were fucking tanks and they could just drive,
do whatever they want on the road. And Tesla drivers, well, it is a similar version.

(03:52):
They reckon it's a safe car because it's run by a fucking, like it's actually
not a car, it's a fucking computer.
Computer on wheels. You know about those two dudes? It was a couple of years
ago and they were test driving the self-drive thing and they fucking jumped,
They dropped their wives off at home, and they jumped in the back seat.
The Tesla was driving around by itself and fucking crashed into a tree,
fucking exploded on impact and killed them both.

(04:13):
Oh, fucking yes. I remember that. They were sitting in the back seat, the fucking idiots.
So well done, Elon, for that one, you fucking clown. A thousand ways to die.
Crash by in a Tesla on self-drive mode.
So I'm just looking up twisted balls condition. Twisted ball condition?

(04:34):
Yeah, well, twisted nuts, but I came up with like little, you know, those little wing nuts.
How's your wing nut? It's threaded.
Let's just look at some fucking images to see what happens with those twisted
nuts. There's a golf ball.
That's what you might end up with, Jimbo. They might get you a tightless too.

(04:55):
Oh, there you go, some nuts. You need the Pro V1 in there, mate.
Hey, they look nice. What are we throwing in the fuck it bucket?
So we've got, other than that, losing the fucking TV remote.
Fuck that pisses me off. Losing the TV remote, that's shit.
Why haven't they got a button on your TV where you go, press the button and
the remote goes beep, beep, beep.
Fucking hell, inventions. You've heard it here first on the Raw Sows podcast.

(05:19):
Press the button on the TV and your remote will go beep, beep, beep, beep.
Is that not fucking genius or what? I need one of them on my car key.
So does Adam. but yeah so i thought that like
the other thing i remember like when you were kids like what
like we were talking about last last episode about the crazy
shit you used to do and stuff but what about like like wait

(05:40):
and when i was at school it was like fucking yes tuck shop day that was the
best and i'm showing my age but tuck shop day yeah the tuck shop and i fucking
meat pies man but i'll tell you what you wait all day for lunch to come and
then you get this meat pie and you bite into to it and you fucking burn your
face off. Oh, they make them that hot.
On that note, like why the fuck is KFC fucking potato on gravy?

(06:04):
Like it's come out of the depths of fucking Mordor.
It's literally that fucking hot. You lift the lid off it.
You've got to wait 16 hours. You eat it the next day. It's still fucking piping hot.
I'm actually going to travel around the country and go to every KFC and take
a thermometer with me and I'm going to fucking measure the temperature and find
out the world's hottest potato on gravy. I reckon, who's on board with me? Let's get on the road.

(06:26):
Yeah, I'm there. It's because they boil it in a volcano.
I'll tell you a funny thing about fucking KFC. It was about a year ago or something.
I went in at KFC and I just felt like the KFC is KFC hot chips because they're
the best. They've got the chicken salt and all that shit on them.
And, um, so I went in and there was this young, young teenagers running this whole show.

(06:48):
And he, he'd basically just, I had these chips obviously been sitting there
for ages and they're fucking cold.
So I walked out in the car, cold and stale. And I said, mate,
these are wrong. Can you get me some fresh ones?
So I had two, two small packets of these hot chips and he poured them back into
the chips where, wherever, and then someone else could get them.
I'm like, get fucked. Like, seriously, like that's like, I just couldn't believe

(07:13):
it. And you just stuck them up your ass. Yeah.
That's wrong. That's against food standards and stuff.
Yeah, they're supposed to chuck it out. They just didn't give a fuck.
But I suppose if you're a teenager and working in one of those jobs,
you're getting paid fuck all and you get the shits with it pretty quick.
I got a bit of attitude from one of them guys. It was Christmas time last year,
year before. We were moving house. It was stinking hot.

(07:34):
Driving past the KFC at Ulladulla there. I thought, oh, fuck,
I'm starving. Pulled in there. It was busy as fuck.
Waited like 25 minutes for me food.
Anyway, I'm standing there. I've ordered. This bloke comes in about 10 minutes
after me. They called out my number.
He walks up, grabs my food. I was just, I was sitting on the chair because I had to wait for that.

(07:55):
He grabs my food and fucks off with it. And I walk up to the counter and I said,
he just ordered like one burger. I ordered like a fucking family meal for everyone.
He just run up, grabbed me shit, fucked off with it. And I said to the guy,
you just gave my meal to him. He's like, well, I called your name. I called your number.
I said, you're fucking supposed supposed to take the ticket wait for
me to come and get it don't just give it to the next bloke and he

(08:16):
just took off of it and i said i had to wait another fucking 15 20 minutes because
someone stole my meal he wasn't going to remake it either so what's your fault
no it's not my fault mate it's yours and maybe they need to teach them a bit
of customer service these days you know like yeah that's like the old trick
we used to do years ago with the maccas ice waters through the drive through.
So you'd line up on a busy day and you'd order two ice waters and then you'd

(08:39):
go through the drive-thru and they're like, oh, did you order two ice waters? No, no.
And then all of a sudden you'd make off with the person's meal behind you and say, see you later.
That's how I actually rode off my first car that happened to us.
Do you know what? I did that once too. We got it and it was a Filet-O-Fish and I was driving along.
I was about 17 years old and I was eating this Filet-O-Fish or whatever they call it.

(08:59):
I took a bite of it. It was like, ugh, threw it out the window.
You know, next thing you know, I hit the bloody, hit the guardrail and spun
out. That's exactly what I did.
Coming down Lemongrove Bridge, but I was eating. We just ordered three cheeseburger
meals. They were two bucks.
We had six bucks or three of us in the car. It was what just got me peas.
It was your first week of driving.
And we paid them the $6, went to the window. They just kept giving us bags of

(09:22):
food, bags of food. I'm like, fuck, and what's going on here?
We're like, yeah, we won the lotto.
Anyway, I was driving down. I had a 20-pack of nuggets sitting in my lap with
the dipping sauce, and I'm driving down Lemongrove Bridge.
And I'm like, fuck, I've got to get rid of the dipping sauce.
I went to chuck it out the window and turned the steering wheel and went bang,
straight into the fucking guardrail.
You guys have done the same fucking thing, man. Bent all the wheel and the steering

(09:44):
arm. The car was written off. I couldn't fix it.
Yeah, it's a bit of karma, isn't it? Stealing free food and smashing your car. Smash your car.
I remember you would have been in the car. We used to go skateboarding back
in the day. And I remember going to like McDonald's and ordering a KFC burger.
Oh, I used to go in the Macca's drive-thru and say, So can I get a quarter tender roast meal, please?

(10:05):
Chicken and chips. They used to have chicken and chips at Macca's back in the
day, fried chicken and shit.
Seriously, how could McDonald's be classed as a restaurant?
That's what I've heard rumours that that's why they put the pickle on the burger.
So it turns it from otherwise be classed as confectionary because of all the
sugar and salt and shit in it. Yeah.

(10:26):
So the pickle makes it the actual fucking, I can class it as food, not confectionery.
I'll tell you, talking about food, right, it's also related to a band that Jimbo and I were in.
We went out, this is when the Weekend, we had a band called the Weekend Warriors.
It was a cover band with Will and Garth and Isaac.

(10:47):
So we went out to Isaac's house and his old man had these pickled eggs.
Remember that, Jimbo? Oh, the pickled eggs.
He said it was like 10 years old. No, it was like 30 years they'd been sitting
in there in that vinegar. Oh.
What? And as soon as he took the lid off it. Oh, yeah, that whopped. What?

(11:10):
Oh, that's fucked. Did you eat them? No, I didn't. Set the scene from that evening.
Pickled eggs. I want to give one a go. Right. So we had a drummer,
Isaac. Great drummer. G'day, Isaac. How you doing, Isaac? We love you.
And he's like, come out to my place out at, where was it, Rawson?

(11:31):
And it was out at Ebenezer. No, it was way past that.
No, it was like lower Portland. Yeah, we had to get the ferry across.
Oh, yeah. I know, wasn't it? Yeah.
So anyway, we get out there and the boys are like, oh, you know,
we'll be playing outside.
So I turn up with enough equipment to play a 100,000 seat stadium.

(11:51):
You should have seen the stacks Jimbo has, man. You thought I have shit loads
of fucking speakers. You're the Jimbo speakers, man.
Well, I am Australia's loudest guitar player.
So anyway, we get there and, you know, we turn up. I'm like,
where's the stage? Where are we playing? It's like, oh, no, we're playing inside.

(12:11):
And the room would have been half the width of where we are in this room.
Yeah. You still managed to get 17 speakers in there?
With a PA and everything in there. 1,700.
Anyway, so we get there and we're unloading all the equipment.
Remember the chickens? Yeah, the chickens jumping in the back of the car.
Chickens all jumping in the back of the car.

(12:32):
That's the Hawkesbury, mate. It's the Wild West out there. You know,
all the hens start roosting in the back of the car.
Get out. Get out. There was fucking eggs there the next day.
Like, you know, it was good. Yeah, it was in the car. We just went and picked
free eggs, bud. Free range.
And now they're over here in the pickle jar.
So anyway, we were all playing away and that. And then Isaac's old man comes

(12:52):
out and he's like, do you want some pickled eggs? Do you want some pickled eggs?
And we're like, oh, what do you mean? And he opens his jar and the smell, oh, it was this jar.
It was probably, you know, hold about 20 litres of vinegar.
And there must have been like 300 eggs in there. And I said to him,
how long have they been in there for?

(13:13):
And he goes, it goes about 30 years.
30 years. 30 years. And he just stands there and gobbles one down and goes, oh, do you want one?
Me and Adam are standing there looking at each other just like, what the fuck?
No thanks. But he also had one of those big giant bottles of Jack Daniels,

(13:34):
like a five litre on one of them tilts.
So then we were all just underneath it.
And then wasn't there like cookies and shit going on? And then he brought out his hash cookies.
Remember that? that you want a hash cookie yeah
i'll try one remember i eat one and then
you all had to carry me to bed because i passed out yeah everyone passed out

(13:57):
oh that's so funny we still had another few hours of rock and roll to go but
no the hash cookies come in and ruined our night and that the funny thing was
that was the fucking the formation of the weekend warriors because we were fucking
Fucking Warriors after that weekend.
I don't know how we got back to a civilization, but we did.

(14:17):
Speaking of band shit and like there was this fucking, I don't know,
there was one band, but also like today, like me today,
a couple of days ago I actually done a bit of extras work and for a local act up in the mountains.
I won't release it, maybe, because they've got to wait until they put it in.

(14:37):
Fuck off, it was Justin Bieber. Yeah, yeah.
Well, anyway, so I was an extra and it just reminded me of the time when we
were extras, Jimbo. Oh, no.
I rang Jimbo up and I said to him, I go, oh, the mate's –,
He's a director and he's got his film going and it's at the station bar and
he said, they can't pay us, but they pay us in beer.

(14:58):
We're used to that, being musicians and stuff. You get paid in beer.
Yeah, so I said, Jimbo, free piss at the station bar. You got to be an extra.
Yeah, we'll be in a movie. It's a feature length. He's like,
yeah, fuck an oath. Fuck an oath.
Let's go, free piss. So what happened after that? Well, mate,
I was so excited that morning I had to go and mow a couple of lawns with me, mate.
So I already had a few longnecks in the fridge from the night before,

(15:23):
so I decided to pack them with me and take them, and about 7.30 in the morning
I started on my first longneck.
That's like our concrete days. Mowing away, three, four, five,
six longnecks in. Yep, we're finished.
Oh, I'm ready to go. I've got to go to the movies, mate, get in a film shoot.
And off we go up to the station bar, didn't we? And we're sitting there,

(15:44):
and it's like, where's this free piss, man? Adam, where's this free piss?
And then there it is. It's on tap, man. Young Henry's on tap.
Oh, wow. Young Henry's, it's not a paid ad, but if you just want to get on board.
Yeah, get on board. I don't mind that beer.
I thought it was crap.
But it was free. It was free. It was free, so we drank it by the gallon.
Well, I drank it by the gallon.

(16:05):
Yeah, well, they said to, like, when you're in a film set, like in a certain
scene, sometimes you have to mime, and Jimbo's, like, sitting at a table.
Well, he's forgotten about acting because he's fucking half cut.
I'm 30 into it. Yeah, well, he's fucking pissed ass and he's like, ah, fuck this.
I couldn't stop laughing. Remember the first take and they're like, cut, cut, cut.

(16:30):
You have to mime. Whoever's talking, we're picking it up in the microphones. You have to mime.
And I leaned over to Rawson at the top of me, lungs whispering in his ear, fuck this miming shit.
Fuck this miming shit. I couldn't stop laughing, eh? So remember take two?
Yeah, it was about five takes in or something. They said, oh,
your mate's going to have to leave. And then I said, Jimbo, and you're fucking munted.

(16:54):
And I said, dude, you've got to fucking mime. He's like, oh,
fucking I don't know how to.
So if anybody knows the station bar at Katoomba, there's a smoking area out the back.
So they dragged us out the back and they're like, nah, you have to go,
mate. You have to go. And I said, yeah, I've got to go. Well, I'm going my way.
So I proceeded to climb the fence over the, you know. You squeezed through a grapevine.

(17:18):
Yeah, the grapevine that grows over the top of it, crawled across that,
jumped down onto the railway tracks, and Jimbo has left the building.
Me that's leaving with a statement in it i leave
on my own terms i did that night fucking hell
man that's hectic like but then about two hours later i

(17:39):
got picked up by new south wales finest and spent the night in the cells isn't
that called a drunk tank you're in the drunk tank yeah they give you breakfast
or no they don't oh no i used to back in the day. You used to get mackers. Yeah.
Stale mackers. Stale mackers. And it's probably had every little teenager spit on it.

(18:02):
We talked about one of the, I think it was last episode or four about the pickles,
you know, they slide out and fucking used to throw them, like my mates used
to throw them on the window and have pickle races and watch them flying down.
We used to do that with the eggs.
The mackers microwave egg.
Seriously. But then they'd stop on the window and they wouldn't slide anymore.

(18:25):
It is fucking shit food, though, really. Anyway, we've got a special segment
here today with Jimbo, so we're going to get into it, and it's called...
Shit Beer Olympics. Shit Beer Olympics.
It was Jimbo's idea on the first, when he came on the first time. This is going to be fun.
I think our AI has actually written a song for that. Just give me a second to
bring that up. We've got our own artificial intelligent fucking...

(18:48):
Songwriter. Songwriter. He's just there for us. It saves us a fucking lot of time. And he's cheap.
Just as cheap as all other musicians What is it, $9 a month?
A week I think Shit beer olympic song.
Music.

(20:22):
We are bringing out our AI album, eh? Yeah. Soroso's podcast, AI album.
Music.
In the end, we'll stay humble For it's not about the beer It's about the memories we hold dear Go!
Raise your cups Let's toast To the games we love the most Corona!

(20:47):
Best drinker to win,
Oh, a guitar solo.
Three notes.

(21:10):
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's so good. I love it. All right, we'll pause it here.
Shit Beer Olympics. It's still going. It's still going. It's still going.
That was just the mid-past. It's about the memories we hold dear.
Music.

(21:31):
Raise your cups. Let's toast to the games we love. I'm getting a bit emotional.
It's perfect, isn't it?

(21:58):
It's like Stairway to Heaven.
It just goes on and on and on.
What's that, six verses?
And here we are, the Shit Beer Olympics. Let's go. So it's going to be blindfolded.

(22:24):
We're going to be blindfolded. So we've got the first heat of the Shit Beer Olympics.
Yes, here we go. Adam, you can wear the nice floral one. Oh,
thanks, man. And Wes, you've got the bunny ears. Bunny ears, mate.
Pass it over. All right, so we're getting blindfolded here, and we're going
to be trying. What are we trying, Jimbo?
We can't tell us. No, but what is it? Like, it's just shit beer.

(22:45):
It's completely random. It's completely random. Oh, fuck, this feels kinky in
the fucking Inwes' dungeon. Yeah.
It's maybe the last time we get blindfolded in your rape dungeon.
All right, so whenever you're ready, Jimbo, bring out the beers,
mate. It's getting kinky in here right now.
All right, I'm going to bring them out. I'm going to pour you each.

(23:06):
We've got six beers today. Okay.
And I'm going to go and get them, and you must remain blindfolded.
Must remain blindfolded throughout the whole thing.
We're going to have to try and work out what numbers. We have to write with
the text. Yeah, well, after each tasting, we'll have to take the blindfold off. Yeah.
Write the number down. Each taste test, you're going to write your number. You score it 1 to 10.

(23:29):
What is it, 10 being the best? 10 being the shittest.
Shittest, yeah. Yeah, which is the winner because it's the Shit Beer Olympics.
Shit Beer Olympics, yeah. Yeah, so the gold medal goes to the shittest beer.
That's right. What have you got us in for here, Jimbo? Fuck.
I have a surprise for you guys. All right, let's get into it. Let's get into it.

(23:50):
Hey, Wes, go grab us a fucking couple of beers. No.
Jimbo's just gone to get them. No, we can't mess the pallet up, right?
So Jimbo's going to go get all the shit beers, and Adam, I'm still blindfolded.
Get your hand off me dick, all right? It's not your dick.
Oh, shit, sorry. Sorry, I can't see. I was trying to grab the controls.
Yeah, well, that's my controller, not yours.

(24:13):
Anyway, no, you keep touching it. That's all right. Oh, no, that's fucking gay
and that's fucking incest, man.
Nothing wrong with gay. If I'm blindfolded, I don't know who's doing it.
Oh, no, it's not. Yeah, if you're gay, you're gay. Blindfolded? Yes, blindfolds are on.
He's bringing them in now. Righto. I'm a bit confused.

(24:36):
We might end up with beer all over the road, Castor, here. Yeah.
So you have to put your hand out, Adam, so you can sit the cup in the hand.
No, I'll do the sippy cup, mate. But if they're in red, oh, shit.
Take the blindfold off so you can keep recording it. Oh, you're recording?
Yeah, we're recording. All right. So.

(24:58):
It's like the Pepsi challenge test.
Blindfolds on. Folds are on.
Blindfolds are on. So I'm going to show the camera beer number one. Yep.
So this is beer number one.
I can't taste it.
Oh, sounds exciting. Sounds like it's a pale ale.

(25:23):
Now, I'm going to be trying the beer as well with you. Oh, well,
this is fucked. You know what it is.
No, but isn't he the adjudicator? I have to try the beer.
That's right. All right, just let me make sure that both cups are equal.

(25:43):
I can have a little bit of a sip.
All right, one second. All right. Hold out your hands.
Beer number one. Beer number one. All right. All right, number one. Here we go. All right.
It smells nice. It smells fruity.
It smells better than it tastes. I know. It's fucking pretty rough.

(26:07):
What is that? It's not actually bad. Thank you.
Oh, fuck. Does it get any worse from here? Because fuck me, I don't know if I can do this.
Oh, it's got a weird aftertaste, eh? Yeah, it's very fruity,
but it's, I don't know, tastes worse than Adam's fucking homebrew.
Oh, yeah, but you never know. It could be some homebrew involved in this stuff.

(26:29):
That's not bad, that one.
I don't mind it. It's okay. I'll probably give it a six. A six? For like how shit it is?
I don't know. Do we have to do them all first and then rate them or do we just
go? No. So what you're going to do is you're going to drink the rest of that cup.
Yeah. Then you can take your blindfolds off and then score it.

(26:52):
All right. And that's beer number one. So you'll see on your cup is written number one. All right.
I'm going to go for, oh, no.
Yeah, six, I reckon. I didn't mind that one. I reckon it's about a five. About a five. Yeah.
I'm going to go. All right. Number one, five.
Yep, that's it. I'm going to probably go about a three because it wasn't that bad.

(27:14):
So there you go. Number three. Hold up your scores.
Five and a three. There we go. It's like at the old sporting events years ago
where you see the hottie walk past and it's like everybody would give her a
score, you know, out of ten.
All right, number two. And so one, ten is shit, one is good.

(27:35):
All right, so I reckon it's three because I think we're going to get way worse than that.
Yeah, I thought that one wasn't too bad. All right, so blindfolds back on.
I'm going to get his beer number two ready.
Beer number two. All right, let's go.
Give me a second. One second.
All right, hand out. He's got to give it a crap. Don't put your cock in my hand, Adam.

(28:03):
Whose phone's ringing? Who's got the carton? Not mine. Mine's on air mode. It's mine. you.
Fine folds on, Rawson. I like him slipping off.
All right, what have we got this time? Oh, this one looks like sludgy piss. Oh, sludgy piss.

(28:25):
I'm excited. All right, hold your hands out. Oh, hand out.
Here we go. So we've got beer number two. Beer number two, all right.
Seriously, it reminds me of the Pepsi and Coke challenge. It smells fucking
exactly the same as the last one.
He's just stitched us up. He's got one can of beer.
All right, let's taste it.

(28:49):
Oh, it's a bit watery. What's he done? That's beer number two there.
I'm showing the camera the beer.
That's, um, I don't know.
This is not fucking beer, seriously. It's just weird.
It doesn't like. It's like the fucking Fruity Lexio or something,
you know. Yeah, it tastes more like a wine. Yeah, it is. It's more wine.

(29:15):
I don't know if our beer reviews are going to go fucking down very well.
We don't really understand what we're doing. Well, I will tell you,
this one's a very heavy alcohol content. Yeah, fuck, I'm blind.
Folded. I'm blind and folded. It's hit me fucking tooth on the microphone.
I can't see what the overbite is. But, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

(29:42):
It's got a weird aftertaste. It actually tastes like me battery bong.
What do you think, Jimbo? You know, you're trying it. Well, it is very thick, very gassy.
I just don't like that aftertaste. Yeah, it's got a bit of an afterburner on it, doesn't it?

(30:03):
Yeah, it's weird. You can taste all the fruit in it. It's like,
why do they start making beer with fruit?
I don't know. No, who? Like, that's a millennial. It's got to be.
No, not millennial. What's a Zed annuals?
That's like a hipster bee. No, that's fucking terrible.
That's going up there. I'm finished. Yeah, I reckon I've got to rate that as an eight, man.

(30:28):
Yeah, I'm same. I'm going eight.
Eight. I know my text, I can't see it, but anyway.
Anyway, it's a podcast. Who gives a fuck?
So we got an eight for beer number two yeah so that's up there with the shit
that's up there with the shit beer,
That was pretty shit. Yeah, so I've got five for the first one. Oh, man.

(30:49):
Yeah, that first one wasn't bad, was it? Yeah, it was all right. I went three.
So we've got number one on top at the moment in this first heat.
Number one's out in front.
Yeah, no, number eight is the shittest one so far. That's right.
So number eight's winning. No, number two's winning because I gave it an eight.
So blindfold back on, boys. I'm going to get you.
I'm just going to put the blindfold this way. Yeah, put it over your fucking dreads. Oh, jeez.

(31:12):
Over dreads and over the, over. So I've got the dreadlocks. Look at those luscious locks.
Mate, those locks are fucking getting longer and longer. Although I'm enjoying
a sip of Corona in between these.
You need to wash your palate. We didn't get one.
Where's the fuck it bucket? I need to spit in it. We need to spit in it.
If they get any worse than that, I don't even know what I'm drinking.

(31:33):
Well, we use these red cups for the fucking. So where did you get these beers from?
The suburb of Sydney that has got the most colour in it. Oh, right. Darlinghurst.
Newtown. Newtown, yeah, right.
You know, because everybody, every second person in Newtown's a brewer.
Yeah, right. You know what I mean? And they like their comic books and their lollies. Yeah.

(31:58):
Well, it does taste, a lot of them, they do taste very sweet.
It is kind of like that. Yeah, it doesn't taste like beer.
That's the fucking problem. That's the problem. We need a new pronoun for this
type of beer. It should be like. No, just call it gay beer.
All right, let's go for round three. All right, round three.
Here we go. One second, boys.

(32:18):
Let me grab it and pour it. Blindfolds on. Blindfolds are on.
Getting blind blindfolded on the podcast.
Yeah, we've been waiting for this moment for a few weeks now since we,
oh, it's probably been about for a month since we spoke about the Shit Beer Olympics.
Shit Beer Olympics, yeah. We probably should have done a bit more research into it.

(32:42):
Well, just so you know, this one might take a little bit of a second because I've been given...
Specific instructions. I'm just going to show the camera.
I've been given specific instructions about how to pour this one.
Oh, right. So you go into the bottle shop and you get one can of this beer and
they tell you how to pour it. Fucking idiots.

(33:05):
Seriously. I'm just going to put this in the front. The show is at the end for beer number three.
So this is in front of the instructions. It's very, very different.
Apparently, I've got to shake it.
Shake it? What? It's not fucking Dulux.
Take it to Bunnings and put it on the paint shaker. So I've had to shake this beer.

(33:26):
There's specific instructions. The boys will see this all at the end.
I'm about to crack it. If I die, tell my kids I love them.
Taken it up by a shit beer. Oh, fucking hell, she's excited.
Oh, hello. He won. He shook it up.

(33:47):
And what part of the brewing stage do you go, oh, when we put this in the can,
you need to shake the fuck out of it? That to me sounds like there's a lot of
sediment in it. That's why.
So do we need a knife and fork for this one? You might need a knife and fork.
Just give it a second. I've just got to let it sit for 30 seconds.
It's like a steak in every glass, mate. Yeah, it's fucking Cooper's.
It is like a steak in every glass. Cooper's red, is it?

(34:10):
No Cooper's red today. No Cooper's red. Thank fuck. Because that'd probably
be weird. All right. Hold out your hands, boys.
Beer number three. Beer number three. I nearly knocked a Galliano flying.
Oh, don't do that. All right, here we go.
There's some leaves on it. Oh, that smells very off.
That's an old ale. That's like a dark ale.

(34:33):
That's dark. Yeah, I like dark. Yeah, that's more like a Guinness or a Kilkenny
or something like that. That's a dark.
That's not bad. Yeah, it's good, eh? That isn't bad at all.
That will go down I reckon I'm giving that one a two mate I think that's pretty fucking good yeah,
yeah I like that that is nice you know it was funny the other night I was like

(34:53):
just went up to local and I decided to have a two years old and I fucking loved
it it was like it's like a bit of is that a dark beer because we can't see it,
it is dark it is a dark beer yeah it's dark with the blindfold it's very dark
every fucking beer is dark right now it's probably lucky I read the instructions
on how to pour it because it's kind of a Guinness-y kind of vibe.

(35:13):
I wouldn't want to let the brewer down.
No, well, he's definitely listening. Shout out to you, mate,
because that's not too bad. Yeah, that's fucking good. Shout out to someone
I don't know nothing about your fucking beer.
Do you know what? That is actually very nice. I like that one.
We'll give you all a plug on your beers. We'll give everybody a plug on their
beers and the boys are going to tell you what they think of them.

(35:35):
But I, as the official Olympic committee, really like this one.
Stick around for the late night session jimmy's gonna plug adam.
Definitely have the cameras off for that one i don't want to be in the room.

(35:58):
I got the fucking blindfold so do i.
Oh fucking lwes you're a fucking smartass sometimes no all right so yeah that
was a It was a dark beer, wasn't it, that last one?
Yeah, it was a dark ale, yes. Yeah, that wasn't too bad. That was fucking nice.
That was really nice, eh?
A pint of that, sitting over the water looking at fucking hippies in Darlinghurst, I'd fucking enjoy.

(36:24):
So what are we scoring that one, boys? Beer number three. I'm going to give
it a one. That's the best one I've tasted. I'm going with a two.
All right, that's good. Oh, beer number three is way out in front at the moment.
No, well, that's a good one. Oh, I have to agree with you guys.
That one's my favorite so far.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my favorite so far. But the whole point of this exercise
is to work out the shittest.

(36:46):
Yeah, that's right. Beer number two was the shittest so far.
So beer number three, that was pretty good. I could drink that.
I could have a couple of pints of that. That wouldn't be too bad.
Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah. Yeah, I like that one.
Well, we're going to have to do a spin-off. We're going to have to get the shittest
beer that wins and then the best beer that we think. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we've got beer number threes in front, right? Blindfolds,

(37:09):
boys. Blindfolds on. Beer number four coming up.
Beer number four. Beer number four. This is how you get fucked up on a podcast.
I'm just going to have a sip of real beer at the moment.
I'm about to piss me pants, by the way. So I'll do number four and then I'll
think I'll need to take a break.
Just a quick one. These two softies. All right, one second, boys.

(37:32):
No, I'm just pissing like a razor.
Well, we need to fucking have a little one of those fucking things at the hospital,
you know, not to go anywhere.
We could just piss at the table. Oh, yeah, a catheter.
No, the big bottle, you know.
No, the whole thing is just chuck a catheter in. Be number four.
Coming right up. That'll be next week's podcast. Then we'll have like,

(37:54):
we'll get drips of saline solution so we can get over the hangover.
Yeah, no, I'm going to make homemade saline solution because they're running out of it.
Oh, no, we said that the other time, but we'll have drips. Yeah.
So we get over our podcast pretty quick, then we can turn it over every day. That's it, mate.
Catheters in. We don't even need to get off the mics, mate. We could just do like a 24-hour podcast.

(38:17):
All right, hold your hands out, boys. Beer number four is coming right up. Beer number four.
Anyway, before I forget, I wonder what the world record is for the most continuous podcast.
All right, I've got the beer number four in my hand. We'll have to look that up.
We'll research that when we can see again. Oh, this smells like fucking vodka
cruiser. Oh, it smells like marshmallows. Yeah.

(38:43):
Oh, no, that's fucked up. That's not beer.
Hold on, I need to try it again. Oh, that tastes like fucking.
What the fuck? That's cream and soda. Are you sure? Oh, are you sure?
If you drink this beer every day you
must drive a fucking tesla and be called them
it's got a it's got a weird weird roasty taste to it like like a weird roasty

(39:08):
kind of like aftertaste and it does taste like creaming soda but a roasty taste
oh that's yuck that's fucking that's a a 10 for me. That is shit.
That is the shittest beer. Oh no, it tastes like popcorn.
It tastes like fucking popcorn. It does.
It's the butted popcorn you get. Yeah, it's seriously got half the taste of fucking popcorn.

(39:32):
That's fucking weird as fuck. Yeah, it tastes like popcorn that's been dug out
of someone's ass after they've eaten it.
It's fucking disgusting. Oh my God, that's fucking, that's weird.
I've eaten ass that tastes better than that.
Fuck, I need to wash it down with a bit of Corona. Oh, no, I need fucking something harder than that.

(39:55):
This is literally vape juice, this one. Popcorn-flavored vape juice.
Fucking hell, that's shit. Seriously, you had fucking popcorn.
I was trying to figure out the flavor. I'm taking everything off.
Fucking popcorn. That's 10. That's fucking, that's the shittest beer I've drank ever.
Oh, that was weird. I don't know how to fucking think of that one, eh?

(40:16):
Yeah, so number four? Number four, I rated that the shittest one so far.
I'm going nine on that. Oh, good scores, boys, good scores, because that was fucking terrible.
I'm not going ten yet. I'm going to wait, because like – oh,
yeah, pause it. Pause it for a sec.
So Jimmy and Adam are outside at the moment, and we've stitched him up.

(40:36):
So beer number six is going to be loaded for Adam with Tabasco.
Go so we're just gonna see how we see
how he reacts to the the b1 cord all
right we're back we just had a little piss break but we're back and we are on
to b number five righto boys so b number five's coming up all right so this

(40:59):
beer has been fucking strong i don't know where you get this shit from but uh
it is fucking he did say i get it from the lolly store and the comic book Oh, that's right.
Yeah, you did say, yeah, now I'm forgetting. When was it, episode two I was on, was it?
Yeah, it was, yeah. When you come up, you said, that's when we started the shit
beer Olympics because we were talking about the Olympics beforehand,

(41:20):
all the shit sports they have in the Olympics these days.
All right, so beer number five's coming up, boys. I've got to take my headphones off.
Hit the cough button oh there it is all right so uh beer number five's coming
up beer number five all right pouring it right now here's beer number five i'm showing the camera,

(41:44):
dogs barking birds are chirping that's all right see the old thing with ai all
the noise cancellation will take all that out and you and i'll just say where's
your tripping man Man, you're hearing things that aren't there.
Hands out, boys. Hands out.
I'm just going to walk around the other side one second, Adam. This smells all right.

(42:05):
All right. Beer's in my hand. All right. Let's do the normal sniff test. Oh, it smells a bit.
That's nice, actually. I don't mind that. Hold on. Blindfold's on, boys.
Blindfold's on. That's not bad. So beer number five, I'm showing the camera right now.
I'd have a bit too. I think that's good. I like that one. I think that's going

(42:27):
to – Yeah, no, that's not too bad. I could drink that.
That's more of a lager, isn't it? Yeah, I think – It's yes. Yeah,
that's a lager. I'll go for a one on that one.
Yeah, I could drink that. That's not too bad. Yeah, that's good,
eh? It's like when you go to a music festival. It's still a bit watery.
It's a bit watery. It's like when you go to a music festival.

(42:48):
I'll give it a one. I'll give it a two.
It's like when you go to a music festival, there's only two beers on fucking
the menu, you and they're still $19 each and you go, yeah, fuck them,
whatever. You still drink it.
Yeah, that one wasn't bad, actually. Yeah.
Yeah, I like it. I like it. That was easy drinking. Yeah.
I'm going to go for a one on that one. Yeah, I'm going to give that a one.
Yeah. Yeah. All right, cool. Give that a one. All right, final.

(43:12):
All right. Drum roll. Drum roll. Oh, that was number five. That was number five.
And what did Boise score? Boise scored a one. One.
Number one. I don't know if you can see on the camera here, but I've got mine.
Now, we've just got to tell everyone beer number two is the winner at the moment.
Yeah. Yeah, that's the – no, beer number four was the shittest.
Oh, sorry, beer number four. But I've got number two as eight. Beer number four?

(43:35):
Oh, yeah. Beer number four? Beer number four?
So we're going to have to do the shittest beer wins, but the best beer gets second place.
Yeah, yeah. So this is heat number one.
Heat number one, yep. All right, so blindfolds on, boys.
Blindfolds on. We've got the final beer coming up. Oh, here we go.

(43:58):
All right, so I'm going to take the headphones off. This one's going to take
a little while because I've saved the best for last.
All right, so this is our time to call filling, Adam. Just got to fill it in.
All right, so did you push the button that meant to make noise on that podcast?
Yeah, I didn't hear it. I didn't hear nothing. All right. Keep your blindfolds

(44:21):
on, boys. Can you push the fart button?
Nothing's coming through on my end You can't hear it No Oh anyway Oh just Just
uh Checking those kind of things but Anyway So here we go We are in Wes's dungeon,
Trying Give me one second to do this Hang on This one I think is going to be

(44:46):
Fucking amazing I think this one is going to be amazing,
Anyway So while Jimbo's there We're going
to talk about I don't really know but see what happens here in the Rawson Studios
we're well I tell you we've been talking about like Wes has actually done the
studio up like it's like yes I did I've got a backdrop here so I put the blacks

(45:08):
up so I make it look a bit more professional,
anyway I went into well we could probably do a Chuck and the Fucker by today
yeah I'll fucking throw that in the fucker so go into a place where I work and
I bought some fabric and she goes oh yeah it's going to be $55 And when she
scanned it, she said, no, it's 30 metres, it's 180.
I said, oh, can you give me a staffie on that? And she said,

(45:31):
oh, it's not going to work.
Yeah, so I just paid 180 for all this black fabric.
I've still got 10 metres left on the roll. Oh, no, like seriously,
like I would have went to My Hung Fabrics in Penrith.
I think they're still there. They're called My Hung.
My Hung. Well Hung. Yeah, well, that's it. Well-hung fabrics.

(45:55):
Yeah. All right. So we are here now, and we're about to try number six.
Hold your hand out. We're about to try number six.
Here we go. V's in my hand. All right. Let's give it a go.
Well, that tastes like homebrew.
I don't know what the fuck that is. What is it? I don't even know.
I'm so. Nah. I've been having a taste test of that one.

(46:17):
Oh, that's very sugary. What the fuck is that one? I don't know. I don't know.
That's got to be a 10 from me. Oh, it's pretty shit. It's very sugary.
What the fuck is that? What do you mean?
That's water and fucking lemonade or something shit. Water and lemonade?
No, water and like, I don't know. It's like, it's fucking apple cider vinegar

(46:39):
with fucking soda water.
Just, I don't even know what's going on there. Cause it's very strange.
That's fucking weird. I can't even drink that one.
What do you mean? It's not that bad.
What is it? No. I'm done with that. That's like a Texas special.
What the fuck, sir?

(47:00):
We stitched him up. We filled it full of Tabasco sauce.
Beer number six. Is it Adam's home brew? It's Adam's home brew.
Mixed with Tabasco sauce.
It's fucking nice, actually. Let me try. I'm going to give it a go,
actually. See, I was like, oh, yeah, that's fucking. Oh, fuck. Hold on.

(47:26):
There's nothing wrong with homebrew than a Tabasco sauce. It's fucking pretty
good actually. The Tabasco sauce makes it better.
So Adam's next brew. Give me a go of the Tabasco sauce.
That was a fucking... It tastes like vinegar. It tastes like vinegar.
So that was your homebrew. Anyway, try your homebrew without the Tabasco in

(47:46):
it. Oh, fuck. That's disgusting.
Actually, my homebrew tastes okay. It's not too bad. Yeah. So I teed up Jimmy
before and I said, oh, fucking can you load a heap of Tabasco in fucking Adam's drink?
That's why the blindfolds came in. So it was a long way to get there,
but we got there in the end.

(48:08):
Oh, you got me in the eye, you fucking eye.
The camera watched me do it. I'm always waiting for something to fucking,
some fucking party trick the old fucking young fella he's trying to fucking
come up with. So how are we going to rate that last beer? All right.
I reckon that's a fucking number one, man.
That was awesome. I reckon that's a fucking great idea.

(48:31):
I reckon we should fucking get a microbrewery to brew a fucking spicy fucking chili beer.
Spicy? They already do that. I'm sure they do that. I had one super,
but I need to throw up. Oh, it was disgusting.
If they had a chili beer, like fucking, if they haven't done it,
well, you've heard it here first.
All right. Right, so now can you hold up beer number one? Right.

(48:53):
So I'll get the beer number one out. I'm going to pass it to you.
Yeah, beer number one. We rated it three, so it wasn't that bad.
So this is beer number one. Beer number one is garbage project, party, and bullshit.
Really? I'm going to pass the can around. You can look on the bottom of it.
I've written number one on the bottom of the can.

(49:15):
Garbage fucking dollar. Garbage project. And it actually didn't rate that bad in our garbage list.
So it was all right. We need to add the scores up. It's a hazy IPA.
So I actually said it smells like a fucking pale ale. Yeah.
It sounds like a pale ale. Should we add the scores together?
Yeah. All right. So we're going to add the scores. So for the first shit beer

(49:37):
Olympics, and there's going to be plenty more, we will be rating,
we'll give you a rating for this time.
But in the next one, there's going to be a fucking, like there's always going
to be more. So what did you score?
I scored for number one, I scored a five. So what was it called again, that beer?
Garbage. Garbage and bullshit.
Garbage project, party and bullshit.

(49:59):
Right, right. So you've got five and I've got, so that's a seven.
Seven. So garbage, so right, garbage and bullshit. Garbage.
Garbage and bullshit. Bullshit.
All the fucking names. it really is sometimes beer can be buck and cabbage so
that's number two what was number two,

(50:21):
So number two was Cakes and Candles.
Squinter's Brewing Company. I gave those. So I'll pass the can around.
I've shown the camera. They've all seen it. So there's beer number two.
That was the 8% beer. All right. And what did you score, Adam?

(50:41):
I scored an 8 for that. That was pretty shit. I scored an 8. No, that was a good.
That was one of the good ones. So that's a 16. It smells nice.
So that's the cake. Take the cake and eat it too.
I probably got the score wrong there, but I probably wouldn't have given it.
That one was actually not too bad.
Yeah, it was not. Because we've rated it an eight. Oh, no, that's eight shit.

(51:02):
Eight shit. Yeah, right. So that's 16. 16 is shit. One being the best.
Yeah. All right, number three. Right. So beer number three is from Garbage Arrow Street.
I haven't got my glasses on.
Wellington Project. project. It's called Cereal Milk Stout.

(51:23):
Beer number three. But we, yeah. I'll pass that around to you both. Pass that one.
I like that one. We all like that one. That was good.
That shouldn't be in the shit beer Olympics. It's basically not a beer.
What did you score number three? I gave it a two.
A two. So I scored it a one because I actually enjoyed that one.
So that's. Yeah. So we got the side spin off the best beer Olympics.

(51:43):
And what's that one called?
Cereal. Cereal Milk and Stout. Cereal Milk. So this is what you have for breakfast. Yeah.
And a bit of milk, you know, like it's like it has that flavour.
So they're all easy drinking beers.
All right. Now number four. Number four is from Bad Shepherd Brewing Company.
We've got Peanut Butter Porter. Oh, yes. That was the one we said tastes like bloody popcorn.

(52:08):
Yeah, I gave it a nine. Yeah, so I gave it a ten because I hated it.
That's definitely a front runner for the shit beer. I think that's taking the cake.
So that's Peanut Butter Porter. What are you doing?
Bloody hell, Peanut Butter Porter.
Now, beer number five is an Aussie classic. It's a VB.

(52:31):
And guess what? What did you rate the beer number five, Adam? Number one.
So I gave it a one as well.
That's a two, so that's probably winning. So VB.
And the final beer was Adam's homebrew.

(52:53):
I couldn't even finish it. If I was you guys, I'd be scoring that an 11. Yeah.
Adam, what did you score? You didn't. I haven't scored my home brew.
No, you can't score it. You can't score it. All right. So guess what?
The shittest beer winner is Adam's home brew.

(53:13):
And who comes second, boys? Who comes second? Well, we've got the peanut butter porter come second.
So that's the actual winner. We'll just take your homebrew out of it because
you didn't really get to try it because you had too much Tabasco sauce.
Yeah, that was a bit of a stitch-up. Oh, yeah, that was good. That was an extra.
I'm going to have another glass. I'm going to have another go of it.

(53:34):
It tastes like a Mexican Undies.
I don't mind spicy stuff. Yeah, but homebrew mixed with fucking Tabasco.
But you forgot the fucking, like, you know, it's a bit cold.
It's cold. Anyway.
Vomit juice? The peanut butter porter almost gets a perfect score.
So that's the gold medal for the sheet one.

(53:57):
It goes through to the final. All right. So we need to put that up on the,
Oh, we need a shelf here. Yeah.
We need a shelf there. Cause that's going to go up. And what, who comes second?
Who comes second was the cake.
Cake one. So I think the cake's going to go through to the final as well.
Cake and candles. So that's gold, silver.
Fuck. It doesn't sound like beer. It's fucking. It's a weird.

(54:21):
The fucking VB was the winner. Do we worry about bronze?
Yeah, VB was the winner. No, it's only the first two in the heat to go through.
First two. All right. So these two. And then we're going to have the Best Beer Olympics.
So VB goes through to the Best Beer. I might finish that off, actually.
I reckon we should go for the Best Artwork on the Beer Can prize next. No, that's gay.

(54:46):
I think the Cake and Candles wins that. Or no, the Bullshit Beer.
Yeah they've all got different sorts of labels on there but it's just like i
reckon they just fucking roll the can down the street and make it shit leave
it out in the sun for six days hey i did get him from newtown so no thanks jimbo
the shit beer olympics heat one,

(55:07):
but yeah bring it back there's always a stitch up i am like i'm always trying
to find something to get where's off with so if anyone has any fucking like
out of this is a problem when you use AI too much.
You lose your own fucking brain capacity, right? Oh, yeah.
Hold on, man. My name's not Ozzy Osbourne. Yeah, right.

(55:29):
I'm just going to... Hey, Sharon! Sharon! All right. Sharon!
Sharon! Sharon! All right. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Chuck that song back
on so we can leave the Beer Olympics, go have a break, and then we'll come back.
So that was the first rendition. Rendition? First heat.
First heat of the shit Beer Olympics. because I hope these guys enjoyed it as
much as we didn't because it was shit beer.

(55:53):
Anyway, here's the song. This is it.
Music.
Sing along, people. Get ready. Let's go, boys.
I swear they AI ripped this off Link 1A2. That's not even nasally enough. He took me by the neck.
Music.

(56:44):
Yeah, it's coming out. We're also his podcast. You can get it on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube.
IHeartRadio, the whole lot. You can get it off your mum's face. No, not at all.
Just use the bathroom towel to clean it off.
Open mouth. This is catchy. This is classic. Go Blink 182. We stole your songs.

(57:11):
Music.
Yeah, a bit of country. This is why we went into podcasts, because we knew computers
were going to take over the music scene.
And we can just sit there and drink beer. Yeah, that's it. We reap the rewards.
Music.

(57:36):
Straight to number one on the ARIA charts. Royal Toes podcast, shit beer Olympic song.
I love that song. Sounds like a skin flute.

(58:01):
Bring out the bagpipes. Oh, yes. I'm going to add that next.
I'm going to add that next.
Not over yet, folks.
There's enough for us. That was the bridge.
Music.

(59:10):
Circa 1996 SCG, the chicken carcasses and schooners full of piss are falling down.
All right. So that's the shit beer Olympics. And AI, thank you to our friend
AI for writing that for us in three minutes.
Yeah, thank you to our actual friend, Jimmy, for coming down today and hosting the shit beer Olympics.

(59:33):
Oh, this is great. This is fun. I don't think it's better from here, Jimbo.
Yeah, we'll have heat too coming up. heat two coming up in about,
24 hours and Adam takes a shit after drinking all that fucking Tabasco
oh yeah it's gonna fucking yeah like nice work boys
fucking it's alright I'm always aiming to
stitch ways up good luck son good luck bring it on bring it on yeah fucking

(59:56):
hope you do know that you can't enter your own beer in the shit beer Olympics
yeah so that was going forward yeah well that was that was part of it because
I wanted to see how shit it tastes we're only gonna have five rounds of heat
Like five entries of heat.
I still think that VB was on performance enhancing drugs there because they
have a massive brewery. So that was out of the fucking question, that fucking VB.

(01:00:19):
Even though VB was the loser, it goes over into the final of the best beer.
We've done a test on it and it has got anabolic steroids inside it.
You know how you've got the Olympics and the Paralympics? Yeah.
VB goes into the Paralympics. Paralympics. You get paralytic when you do it.
Anyway so i've got another thing i was coming up this song it's about the complaints

(01:00:43):
department so we might start in this for a bit of a second have you guys got
any complaints Welcome to the Complaints Department.
Music.
Every listen and find a way to mend your frustrations, concerns,
and discontent. We're here to help, just let it out and vent.
So sit back, relax, and let's commence.
The Complaints Department is here to make sense. The Complaints Department is here to make sense.

(01:01:03):
That's the complaints department Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh, man. AI has just made better that podcast. We couldn't have done this a year ago without it.
So, yeah, complaints department. I'm going to complain about the vet.
$400 fucking dollars today. And you know what she did, right?
So he's got a hot spot on his legs, a little bit infected. We're like,

(01:01:25):
better go take him this way because I'm away work next week.
Anyway, blah, blah, blah.
She put a bit of sticky tape on his leg, right, and took it off.
She says, I've got to take this to the lab.
Oh, fuck, that's going to be expensive. And she goes, looks it in the microscope.
She comes back. Yeah, it's infected.
I said, I could have fucking told you that. It's a fucking sore on his leg.
And she charges $70 for that sticky tape.

(01:01:49):
$70 for the sticky tape. What the fuck, man? Like, seriously.
You're kidding me. $70 to put a sticky tape on his leg, take it off,
and fucking put it under the microscope. You could have done that yourself.
Anyway, Jimbo's got to run off. He's going off for the footy.
So we'll have another break, and we'll send Jimbo off. And thanks for coming, mate.
Yeah, fucking off, man. I'll be back for Heat 2 of the Shit Beer Olympic.

(01:02:12):
Fucking, we loved it, man. It was fucking awesome.
Yeah, Heat 2. Yeah. So keep those cans in here. They've got to stay here.
They stay. That's part of the whole fucking.
You know, all these breweries have entered this event. Yeah,
and then if there's any of those breweries out there that hear the podcast and
actually want to fucking join in.
I don't think they want to because we're just slandering their beer,

(01:02:34):
eh? Well, they might get the idea and go, hey, they might get a one,
you know, and then they're in the best beer Olympics.
And then they can sponsor us as well. Sorry, the Paralympics.
Anyway, before you go, Jimbo, because we didn't get to put that other thing
out on air about your music stuff. So what's been happening there?
Nothing. Nothing? Good. That's great for a podcast.

(01:02:58):
No, but you were talking about your bands and things. You were jamming,
like people you jammed with. I just jam with a lot of people.
Got a couple of young people, you know, helping them write songs and stuff like that, you know.
Yeah, that's good. Which is what I like to do, you know.
So you've been doing any live music stuff or anything like that?
Oh, just, yeah, you know, helping singers out.

(01:03:21):
Yeah. Helping singers out. A couple of young girl singers just playing a couple
of bit of acoustic guitar, you know, teaching them how to write songs.
But, you know, because Vanquish is on a bit of a break at the moment.
And so who's Vanquish? Can you give us a bit of a rundown of the band?
Vanquished, Australia's loudest band.
Yeah, yeah, sweet. So we'll pull up a song and have a bit of a listen to it.

(01:03:44):
Yeah, yeah, a bit of Vanquished. Yeah, put on Pain, man.
Give us a rundown while I'm looking for the song. Give us a rundown on Vanquished.
So Vanquished is myself, Spider White, and Jerry.
And, yeah, we just fucking rock, man. Okay, I think I found... We fucking rock, man.
Pain, so you want to hear a bit of Pain? Yeah, a bit of pain. Crank it.

(01:04:07):
Vanquished, pain. You're with Jimmy Maxx Power from Vanquish, and this is pain. Pain.
Music.

(01:07:06):
Fucking awesome, bro. It makes me want to go headbutts and walls.
Fucking love that shit. That's a mad film clip too, bro. That's unreal.
That's why I've got neck problems.
Fucking real. Yeah, that's awesome, bro. Get that one up, yes.
Yeah, vanquished, everyone.

(01:07:26):
Vanquished. Is that on YouTube?
Yeah, he's on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music, all that kind of stuff. All that shit. Yeah.
Awesome, bro. That's mad. I love
that. So how long did it take you to film that film clip, man? An hour.
But we're professional, man. We just get in there. It took us longer to set
up the fucking internet for this podcast today. It did, actually. It did, actually.

(01:07:50):
Yeah, no, we just get in there and smack it out. Do you remember the name of
the company that you done the film clip at?
Rockin' Bob's at Penrith. Yeah, Rockin' Bob's. Get that one up, yes.
We might need to talk to them about filming some shit for us because we got nowity.
But that's awesome, man. Like, good on you, Rockin' Bobs as well.
But, yeah, check out Vanquish. You were saying a little bit about the band and,

(01:08:11):
you know, give us a rundown of what you guys have been doing over the last few years.
Well, it's just me, Jerry and Spider, and just been writing 15-minute bangers
because the best songs are written in 15 minutes.
Yeah. Keep it simple, stupid.
Exactly. They don't go for 15 minutes, but, yeah. No, it takes you 15 minutes
to write a classic, mate.

(01:08:32):
Yeah. and that's all it is you were saying that's for you children 15 minutes
it takes you to write a good song that's it yeah well no it takes about 30 seconds with AI.
Well I had to process it so it took about 3 minutes yeah yeah well that's it
yeah so 3 minutes that's about my sex life,
yeah no we're just having a bit of a break but we'll be back soon with some

(01:08:54):
even heavier tracks yeah fuck yeah looking forward to catching you guys live
man be unreal fucking to see yous play and that so time.
Yeah, so you were saying something, you've been, what else are you doing in
the music industry? Do you know much or?
Well, yeah, just been helping out young people, you know, like helping Chum
how to write songs and, you know, teaching like high school kids how to play

(01:09:15):
guitar and stuff like that. Yeah, that's awesome.
Do you know what I mean? I think it's great. I think one of the.
Keeping the dream alive. Yeah, but it's also art. It's an art.
It's an old music. It's an old art form that we've had since we've been cavemen basically.
Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. and I think we
need to keep it alive I know we've got AI we've got

(01:09:37):
all these other things that we have pokies yeah they
fuck blow up the pokies and
drag them away yeah they fuck the music industry yeah every single fucking stage
you know like so many venues that I played at in the like late 90s early 2000s
of poker machines all the venues are shut like the Hopetown and stuff oh the

(01:09:59):
Hopetown was mad it was a mad Hopetown was I hope it was awesome,
but just look at that place and it's falling apart, you know. It's like.
It's derelict. We should go do a fucking live podcast from there,
just break into this one.
I don't know if it, like, because I haven't been in Sydney for a while,
living in bloody sticks, but I don't know if that's been taken over and turned
into apartment buildings or something. No, it's still there.

(01:10:22):
I'm pretty sure it's still there because I drove past it, oh,
probably 12 months ago or something, and it was just, yeah, it was all locked down.
I was like, oh, fuck, that was a hope town. I remember having so many mad gigs there. It was unreal.
Yeah, I did a documentary like when I was at uni about the lockout laws.
It was before we had lockdown with COVID, that fucking fake virus that came

(01:10:44):
from China, you know, but like.
It was like, fuck, so I've done this documentary and I'm like,
it's all about lockdown.
And then all of a sudden I'm like, I have to release it. And then I released
it and then fucking COVID lockdown came because they actually lifted the lockdown.
They went, okay, there's no more lockout laws anymore in Sydney.

(01:11:04):
We're going to bring the live music scene back up again. And then all of a sudden fucking COVID came in.
Yeah, they fucked it. And nothing's recovered from that. So what's your feeling,
Jimbo, on the live scene music-wise, Sydney up to the mountains and back and whatever?
Is there many venues that are still open? Is there still things happening?

(01:11:27):
Yeah, there's a few. Dukes and Amor, they're always playing.
Vic on the Park, you've got to go in the inner west.
Anywhere you come this side, there's not much.
It's a bit sad, but you've just got to support local bands and local music, man.
Yeah, it's very hard. There's heaps of good bands out there, man. Yeah.
Heaps of good bands. The only time I go out here, like in Panathinaik region,

(01:11:50):
it's only cover shows. There's no original live music venues.
It's been very hard to get a gig now.
Well, it is, but that was the whole piss take of the Weekend Warriors,
you know what I mean? Yeah.
We just took the piss out of everyone that was just doing like fucking shit
covers that nobody wants to hear, like WSFM, you know what I mean?
Yeah, Guitar-yokey, where there's just one dude with a guitar and he's got all

(01:12:13):
the fucking tracks. Fuck it, police.
Fuck off. I'm leaving.
Talking about that, you know what was funny is one of the things is like,
you know you're getting old when songs like Nirvana songs and Green Day is making 101.7 FM,
which is our fucking greatest classic hits.

(01:12:34):
You remember it used to be classic hits from the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Now it's 80s.
80s 90s now it's like 90s
and early 2000s the noughties yeah
we're fucking getting old i'm like but i still love all the classics yeah but
triple m still playing the same fucking playlist they were fucking 25 years

(01:12:55):
ago they've got 20 songs hey i know every day i turn sweet child of mine on
once an hour like seriously it is like.
I'm going to turn the radio out. I'm going to fucking, here we go. Same fucking song.
Do they just have like, do they have anyone programming their radio station? No, it's fucking AI.

(01:13:16):
It's AI. It plays the same playlist you did in 1999. Yeah. That'll do.
Yeah. It's a fucking joke. Yeah.
Commercial radio. And don't get me started on all this pop music radio nowadays. Like, really?
But see, that's why. If you want to listen to pop music, go listen to 80s synth pop.
No, but what the pop music is doing now is bringing back all the old classics

(01:13:40):
and remixing them and put a new singer up there, and they make them fucking
killing out of it. Like that Elton John song.
It's like, oh, yeah, this is murder. I'm like, well, this was out fucking 40
years ago. You know what that's like?
You know when you have a shit and you wipe your ass, and you drop the toilet
paper and then you flush it, but it doesn't flush down? it's like grabbing that

(01:14:03):
piece of toilet paper out of the toilet bowl and wiping your ass again that's exactly what that is.
Shit i've got one of those toilets like that i fucking keep pushing the fucking
we need to install a bidet yeah well that this is i've actually read something
about a bidet like like i've ever seen somewhere like they can't believe australians wipe their asses,

(01:14:28):
Seriously, like, they use it everywhere else in the world, use a bidet,
but we're the only ones that wipe out.
At least we can put our toilet paper in the toilets.
You go to a toilet and you've got to wipe your ass and put it in the bin next
to it because they're fucking – Siri Chiston doesn't fucking cope with the dunny paper.
No, seriously. Yeah, talk about tiling. And that was fucking – what are we, years ago?
And it's like, you need to go – it was two baht for a piss. And they got –,

(01:14:55):
A person, a little card. Find a tree. Yeah, but yeah, if you piss in Thailand
and the cops get you, you'll be fine and thrown in jail.
But it's $2 for a piss.
And I'll tell you what. $2 for a fuck?
$2 for a piss or $2 for a fuck? What are you going to do?

(01:15:18):
You're going to risk it on the tree? No, you're going to have a piss and a fuck
at the same time. I'm going to piss on her.
Golden shower like everyone pays you know people killing two birds with one stone there,
i'll tell you what like that that's insane though
when i was over in fucking um scotland in 2019
i was like we went to edinburgh and

(01:15:40):
we done the castle i went to the world's end bar smashing down
heaps of pints and shit and doing the whole
thing walked right up to the top of the castles and shit
and walked down walked down the other part the other side and
i'm fucking fucking busting right and i couldn't find there's
no toilets and they had they used to have in in
europe they had the you gotta put the coin in to use a

(01:16:00):
toilet they a lot of them weren't you know they've just opened it
for free but that was at the station and i'm like fuck when i'm gonna go it's
broad daylight and there's like in thousands of people around oh fuck so i i
ran up ran to the mcdonald's fucking and i go where's the toilet they said oh.
It's up like four five flights upstairs,

(01:16:22):
so I'll get up the stairs and I went to use a Dunny and I said,
oh, you need a coin because you can only use this toilet if you bought McDonald's.
And I'm like fuck, I'm going to piss all over the fucking table.
I would have walked out front and pissed on their wall.
Oh no, and I ran down, I ran down fucking five flights of stairs and I went,
there was a Wetherspoons which is a pub there in Scotland and I fucking It's

(01:16:47):
like the big mac of fucking pubs.
Yeah, I went straight, I knew they have a have a toilet
I could use and I fucking like you
could put that in a chuck at the fucking bucket man trying to find somewhere
I did the similar thing in in um Paris when I was 21 on the Contiki tour they
I needed a piss we went and had pints and then we got on the bus and we're doing
this night trip through Paris they dropped us off said like me it's back here

(01:17:10):
in two hours I was like fuck I've got to get off this bus and have a piss anyway
I'm running through the streets and I'm like, excusez-moi, can I use your toilet?
I don't know why I said, can I use your toilet? She said, toilet?
No, you'll buy something.
Oh, fuck. And then you go to they've got like these ones where you put coins
in. It's like the automatic door opens.
I'm like, fuck. I didn't have any coins on me because it was five euro a pint.

(01:17:33):
This is back in fucking 2006, right?
So, yeah, it was five euro a pint. Now it's probably 50 euro a pint. But anyway, I digress.
Anyway, go to this thing, didn't have no coins. and I'm running through and
I'm like fuck next I go to the Eiffel Tower.
I'm sitting right there, and I'm like, fuck, right next to it,
probably 50 metres next to the Eiffel Tower, there's this little garden bed,

(01:17:55):
and I'm just like, oh, fuck, I'm pissing in this garden bed, right?
And I'm like, fuck, this is the best piss I've ever had to do.
It took me like maybe half an hour to find somewhere when I was like ready to
fucking go. It was so close to pissing me off.
And I spoke to the tour manager of the bus, and he goes, oh,
fucking, you know if you get caught, you get straight thrown in jail.
If you get caught pissing in the vicinity of the Eiffel Tower,

(01:18:17):
you will go to jail for 24 hours i'm like 24 hours fuck that'd be shit because by the time,
you're only in only in one town for fucking 24
24 hours i'd have to get a
fucking plane to the back into italy the next day i was like fuck anyway that's
me pissing on the eiffel tower fuck if you have to go you gotta go man i know

(01:18:39):
it's like fuck man and they're just so rude they would not let me fucking use
their toilet i said oh fuck i should have said i'll give me a coffee or something,
but I couldn't speak their language. I was like, oh, fuck.
Peace! If I need a fucking peace, now!
Anyway, you're going to miss the footy, bro. If you don't fuck off now,
you're going to miss the footy. Not that I'm trying to fucking wind you up.
We're going to have another shot of the Gallianos or what?

(01:19:01):
Yes, all right. Let's go. The Rorso podcast, the first heat.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. A shot of that.
Yeah, but so. I need to have a cigarette, a Malibro red. We fucking, what?
Not a pay dad. All right.
Cheers, Jimbo. Hey, thanks for having me, boys. It's been a pleasure.
Thanks for coming, bro. Cheers, mate. You're a fucking champion.

(01:19:23):
Heat one of the shit beer Olympics.
We might need to do shit fucking shots next week. Yeah, that shit,
that tasted like medicine.
We've got to get heat too. I'll get some more tonight.
Penis butter flavoured fucking beer out of me. Popcorn.
Penis butter. It wasn't that woeful.
Isn't that a vented beer? A fucking vented beer? My home brew was better than

(01:19:46):
that. We should make mead. I don't know about that.
Mead is easy to make. You know how to make mead? Honey-flavored mead.
Yeah, you just put honey and water and some herbs. That's it.
And let it ferment. That's it.
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for listening to episode seven. I hope you guys have had a great time.

(01:20:08):
I know we've had fucking mad time. We have a talk about fucking...
No, it doesn't matter what we talk about. Let's just go, fuck yes.
Fucking thanks for coming, boys.
And girls and ladies and whoever's listening. And out, out, we have a listener in Bangladesh.
Please make us some T-shirts and
send us. So if you're listening in Bangladesh... We'll send you 20 bucks.

(01:20:31):
Yeah, we'll send you 20 bucks. Send us 1,000 shirts so we can make some money out of it.
But also, did you know that we had a listener in Nigeria? So,
fuck you, you're not getting my bank account.
I haven't listened to it too much, but I keep getting random phone calls like
usually. We always do get random phone calls. But anyway, thanks for listening,
guys, and we will be back next week for episode eight. And over and out.