Brant Hansen - The Men We Need (To Be) - Thinking Dad Podcast

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
In this culture, if you're actually at peace, people think you're nuts.
Like, what's the matter with you? Aren't you aware of this thing and that thing
and what they're doing in the schools and what the, you know, this war and
that other thing and that? Haven't you seen it? Yeah. Yeah. But
I don't know less. I know more. I know about the kingdom of
God and Jesus himself, saying, in this world, you're going to have

(00:20):
troubles. But be of good cheer, because I've overcome the
world. Wink, wink, nod, nod. I know how this ends. It
works out great for you. You don't need to be anxious.
Totally not powered by AI and broadcasting from a
deluxe blanket fort in northeastern Oklahoma, I am
your very human host, Garritt Hampton, and you are

(00:43):
listening to the Thinking Dad. I'm so glad you've joined me
today. I have a really great show for you. I have Brant Hansen
with me, and we are going to be talking about
biblical manhood and something that
I don't know if you men consider often, but the topic of
joy. I know you're going to be blessed by this conversation,

(01:05):
but first, I want to tell you a little bit about our sponsor,
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Tell them thank you for supporting the Thinking Dad
podcast. Well, Brant, thank you so much for joining me today.
For our listeners who may not know you, uh, could you just take a minute

(02:09):
to introduce yourself? Yeah. Uh, so I'm originally from
Illinois. I live in Florida now with my wife. We've been married
34 years. And we got two adult kids. Got
a grandkid, which is so awesome.
But yeah. And so I do radio and I do. I write books
and stuff. That's what I do for a living. Yeah, several

(02:31):
books and good ones, too. I have copies of three of them,
and ironically, today, none of them are hard copies, so I can't show
them. But, yeah, I've been working through your two.
The men we need books and the young men we need. And also,
life is good, or life is hard, God is good. Let's dance.
And I love your style of writing. It's very personal

(02:54):
and open and clean, which is nice. So thank you. That's what I
like. You write what you want to read, right? I like having
some humor injected stuff, even if it's deep stuff, like,
make it fun. So I'm glad you think so. Yeah, it's good.
Well, you know, as I was preparing to launch this podcast,
I realized there are a ton of resources for a

(03:16):
kind of cartoon version of men, right? Yeah, like
dripping sweat and testosterone, bare chested big
beards, cigars and. And all these things. But it seems like there's
a real hole when it comes to resources for just real
biblical manhood dads and especially young
men. Tell me why you decided to write these books and get into this

(03:38):
area precisely for that. Well, actually, my show's
producer, my radio show, she's a single woman, and
she grew up with manly guy, like, football players, factory workers and
whatnot. And she was shocked when she first worked with me
because I don't do any of that for various reasons. Like,
I'm just not. I don't have a problem with hunting. I just don't. I don't

(03:59):
have good vision. So that's not a good prescription for fun.
But she was struck by, wait, he's got puppets.
He's got an accordion in here. He plays the flute.
But when she came to our house to visit and got to know my family,
she's like, but everybody in this family is so
secure. And she wasn't so used to that,

(04:21):
necessarily from a man. And so she said, you should write
a book about masculinity. And I would talk about it with her off the air,
on the air. And it's just precisely because I'm not that
guy that I think people need a vision for
masculinity that's deeper than that. I don't even think churches know. They know,
like, don't be toxic, of course. But then when they try to

(04:42):
describe what masculinity is, it's like, well, let's have stakes. Let's do an axe throwing
event. Let's like, that's cool. There's nothing wrong with that, but there's got
to be something. There's going to be a vision. For masculinity, that's deeper than that.
And if guys aren't given that vision, they will fall for
stuff like the Andrew Tate garbage or I like, all sorts of
mistakes, but I can't almost blame them because they're not

(05:05):
giving, like, the actual vision that God has for masculinity that's specific
and beautiful and life giving. So that's why
I decided I should try to write the book. Yeah, well, I love
that. It's ironic to me because I really think the majority
of men, especially modern men, I don't think that
cartoony vision of man is the majority.

(05:27):
Unfortunately, what I do see is probably as the
ages get younger, we're swinging toward more and more
femininity in men, which is really dangerous. But I think
that among a certain generation, you just have these normal
guys who need a model of biblical
masculinity. Where do you base that? What's your

(05:48):
biblical source for what a man should look like? Okay. And
taking a shot at this. And again, this is just my flawed opinions
or whatever, but to create a deep vision for what we're supposed to
be, I look at the job that Adam was
given, and he's specifically given this job as keeper
of the garden. Yeah. So it's a protector of the garden.

(06:11):
It's not just protection. It's not just creating a safe
space for people or for things to thrive, but it's like. It's also
cultivating in a wild
place, like Eden. Wild and beautiful. He's supposed to make
order out of chaos, right? Like,
kinds of, like, species that couldn't survive out in the wild. Well, if

(06:34):
they're a good gardener, they get to thrive and bloom,
like, because they're vulnerable. So I think that's our
job. And the fact is, in talking to women over
the course of my adult life about this, they totally
resonate with us, too. They're like, deep down, that's what I want a
mandev to be. And I've heard that from very strong, intelligent

(06:56):
women. Like, security is everything.
So we go after the trappings of the outward trappings
that can, like big muscles, big truck, you know, deep voice,
you know, whatever. All the stuff you were talking about. Right? But if you're all
those things, you can even be super handsome, super smart, rich, all that. But if
you make your wife feel insecure, she'll resent

(07:18):
you for that. She'll resent your muscles. If you're flirting with other
women, it's really about security. Conversely, you don't have to be
jacked. You don't have to be all these tropes of masculinity. If
you exude security for your home, for your family, for the people
around you, if you protect the vulnerable and they can sense
it, that's pretty attractive to women. It's

(07:41):
very attractive. So I do make that
point not to say, hey, you should do this so that women will be attracted
to you. Just to say that they're instinctively brilliant about this.
They know what we're made for. And it's really good for us to be able
to communicate it to younger guys or to other guys so that they can go,
oh, right, that's what I'm here for. That switch gets

(08:03):
flipped and guys understand it. Even when they're six, seven years old.
They get it. Yeah, it's just natural. The
funny thing is, right now on the Internet and social
media, we're seeing this really weird wave of, like,
far left feminists going, where are all the men? We
need real men. This is innate in us. We

(08:26):
understand it by nature. And yet for so long, our culture has
just torn down that image of men. You're right, it has. And then
the church hasn't responded church culture with a coherent
idea. So again, when it's like, well, guys, okay,
let's go camping. Like, but that's. That doesn't get at the heart of who we're
supposed to actually be. And if you don't have a vision, how are

(08:47):
you supposed to be it? So, like, there's a billion books that are in the
christian bookstores that'll say, we need a man up. We need to be real men.
What are you talking about? Right, because that doesn't mean anything. It
doesn't have any content to it. Unless you're able to say this is actually what
our role is supposed to be in a specific way. Yeah.
So I didn't even have this in my

(09:08):
notes. But where is the church missing the
boat? And where do they need to be going in this direction? Well, again, I
don't think there's a coherent vision that's articulated.
And so when I brought up Andrew Tate, he's the opposite of the.
Well, in some ways, he's the opposite of the feminized man, the
passive. He portrays himself as all of this stuff. I

(09:31):
guess he's converted to islam now, but
he's like this toxic, you
know, all of the cliche toxic stuff. Right. But
that said, I saw Nancy Pearcey tweeted something about a
christian school where they're saying, the teachers were saying, all the young guys are
going, they're big fans of Andrew Tate in a christian school

(09:53):
because they're responding to the larger culture being
so crazy. They're embracing this other craziness. And if
the church doesn't articulate vision, that's what
we're going to get. Yeah, yeah. I had a great
conversation the other day with David Bonson. He
brought up the point that we're actually created by God for

(10:15):
work. And one of the things he says is the Bible says
we're created for good works. And what we fail to
recognize is that those good works are actual
work. They're vocational as well. And even that
aspect that should be so foundational and simple that we are created to
work, I think, is even undermined, and especially in the

(10:37):
church. And that was one of the things he brought up, is that the church
is very quick to say, men, don't allow this thing to
be an idol. Don't, you know, come home late, be there for your
kids, be there for your wife. And at the same time they'll say, but
also don't forget to give to the building fund. Don't forget to, you
know, tithe every week and all this stuff. And

(10:59):
it seems that almost that work, which is a
foundational aspect of manhood, is detested
in the church. Well, I think it's because we're in a post industrial
revolution culture. So previously, work would
be with the family around. I mean, your family shop, it's in your
house, it's downstairs. Or in an agrarian setting

(11:21):
where the kids are involved, dad's involved, it's all integrated.
Right. But the industrial revolution separated men very successfully
from their homes so that we would leave for 14 hours. And then what it
also does is it makes guys think a real man needs to
be in the woods, not in these offices. We got to
get back to the woods. Well, that was never a thing

(11:44):
before the industrial revolution. If you look at the literature, that
became a thing. So Teddy Roosevelt and all that sort of stuff, like, we gotta
get out here and strangle an ox with our bare hands. Like,
that's a secular script for masculinity that
we fall into with the church, too. But I do agree on
the work thing. In fact, that's one of the things I like to talk to

(12:05):
young guys about. Like, work is part of the garden.
Like, it's not a curse. It's part of God's perfect world. We're
made for it. And whatever job you have is actually
ennobling. It's not even if you're washing floors
at a retirement home or you're the janitor at school. Well, guess what?
If nobody does that, people die. Amen. So

(12:28):
everything you do, actually, is you're made to serve people, so
you need to reframe it in your head. If you're stocking shelves like, you're making
life easier for busy moms and older people,
like you're getting paid for it. That doesn't take away from how
beautiful it is. So I totally track with that. Yeah.
One of the things I appreciate is that you didn't just write the men we

(12:49):
need, but you followed it up with a book for young men. Why was that
important for you, and why'd you choose to do that now? Just as
I. The first book was a bigger hit than I thought it
was going to be, honestly, just because I'm more of a nerdy guy. And, like,
literally, the publisher was like, what do you want on the COVID Do you want
some they. And it was going to be somebody scaling them out. And I'm like,

(13:11):
no, no, don't do a silhouette of someone,
you know, like, scaling. So
because I'm who I am, I just kind of thought this will be more of
a niche thing, but it's not. And it has really
actually resonated. And I know a lot of people are teaching classes
now, even girl. Even girls. Small groups are studying

(13:33):
it. And so I thought, what if I shorten the chapters, you know, tighten it
up? The weird thing, man, is that,
of course, you always want to sell a book or whatever is your job,
but this, the young men we need, I'm more wound up about
it than any of any other thing I've written, honestly. Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's really such a critical area to hit because

(13:57):
once men are established, it's a little late to start, like, building.
Building the foundation. We got to start as our boys
are transitioning to manhood and really lay that for them
then. Yeah. And they're dying for this. Amen.
They want to know. So the reason I think
I get emotional about it even, is just, like, thinking

(14:20):
of the families of the future or the women who will
benefit if the kids, that will
benefit if guys actually live this out. And any
guy can do this, right? Like, so
that makes me really want to just, like, carpet bomb
the area with books. I'll pay for myself, just like

(14:43):
I want this message. I really do think it's something that's life
giving. Yeah, man. I can tell you, as a father of
girls, we've been praying for their future husbands since
before they were born. And it's
our greatest desire that they would be blessed in relationships
with real godly men. And so, like, we've been praying that the Lord

(15:05):
would be preparing those men all along. Yeah. But we can't
also forget that it's our job as parents to be doing that for
our boys. And. And it's even our job as men in
the church to be laying that foundation and setting that example
for the other men in the church. 100%. Guys are
completely adrift in our culture. Yeah. Completely. Have no

(15:28):
clue what they're supposed to be doing. And as a result, I think that's
a big part of you look at the deaths of despair. You look at drug
addiction, suicides. What am I here
for? So the easiest thing in the world to do is just to throw yourself
into video games and porn. That's what guys do.
And honestly, if there's not a larger vision,

(15:48):
it's tough to say no to stuff. You have to love
something more. You have to have a picture of what you could be or what
I'm supposed to do that's life giving. Otherwise,
this is a real. This is so. This is horrible atmosphere to be in,
to be a man. Who am I right? So
it doesn't surprise me to see what we see with guys, especially in their

(16:10):
twenties, but all across the board, honestly. Yeah.
You talk about six decisions that men have to make,
one of them being forsake the fake and relish
the real. What do you mean by that? Well,
I really. Without guilting guys, we've got enough guilt

(16:30):
trips. But I do talk about pornography. I do talk about video games
specifically. Yeah. Like, with video games, I
will tell people I love video games. Like, the problem is they're too
darn awesome. They're too fun. They're literally
so much fun. So they pay off with dopamine hits
and you can sit there for 1216 hours. I

(16:52):
can. Like, I've grown up with video games, too, but it's
like, that's not who I want to be, right?
So the problem is with super normal stimulation is what I talk
about. Like, pornography and video games can give
you more of a hit than just normal life.
And so what it does is it makes the rest of life boring by comparison,

(17:14):
because you don't level up every day or every time, like at work or
whatever. It's not. Doesn't pay off like that. But you don't want to
be in a room by yourself for most of your
life accomplishing fake things in fake worlds.
Yeah. Or with fake relationships in your head
that actually didn't exist. It was just pixels. Nobody wants

(17:36):
that. So what I try to tell young guys, too, I
asked the question. Let's say there's a guy, I call him
Jake. Let's say he is in his
room and he just throws himself into his video
stuff and he's not hurting anybody.
But, you know, is that okay? His mom and dad

(17:57):
bring him food. He's happy. Is that
okay? And most people would say, yeah, as long as he's happy, he's not hurting
anybody. But the truth is, he is hurting
people because we needed him. Yeah. Amen.
Yeah. We needed his gifts and talents, and he's not giving them. Like, the world
would have benefited from him being who he's supposed to be as a keeper of
the garden, but he didn't show up. Right. So, yeah, people are being

(18:20):
hurt by this stuff. So I spend. That's. That's what I'm getting
at without it being a guilt trip. But just to say this is not who
we want to be. Like, there's something much better. It's
funny, I often will say that there are
validity and invalid worldviews and
viewpoints. And that seems really. It seems

(18:41):
hardcore to say that some persons worldview is invalid,
right. But when you look at, let's just say, the transgender
movement, even on its face, even without a biblical
worldview, you can understand that it's invalid because it's purely
destructive. It's not procreative, it's not
constructive. And unfortunately for

(19:02):
Mendez, we've been moved into this idea of, well, we're not hurting
anybody. Yes. But we're not helping society. We're not. We're
not furthering the kingdom. We're not building anything of value.
And so we slip very quickly into that world of
just an invalid life. Right. Yeah. It happens so
easily because this is where I hurt for us,

(19:25):
because of this technology and stuff that makes this stuff so available.
And the video games are so good and so immersive and so involving.
Like, no. No generation has ever had to face this prior to, like,
ours. This is not. This is not normal. I feel for us.
And again, if a guy. If a young man isn't given a vision for

(19:45):
life, it's awfully tough to, like.
It's just. It's. I understand. And it leads to despair.
Right. If you throw yourself into those things, you're going to feel meaningless because they
are meaningless. It's a. It's a. It's a
sucker punch. It makes you feel alive and then it makes you
dead. Yeah. I was walking with

(20:07):
my daughter in the mall the other day, and my oldest daughter,
and we have an Apple store in our mall. So we walked by and she
goes, oh, dad, I really want to try out the apple
vision. And I said, okay, no sweat, we'll go in. And
they make you schedule a time for a demo, and it's a 15 minutes
demo. And she sat down and

(20:28):
put on the vision pro and was walked through this demo, and I
was just watching what she was seeing on a tablet.
And this really weird emotion
came over me. On one hand, it was pure dread,
and on the other hand, it was like a light bulb went on. Because at
one time, I could see that this was hugely

(20:50):
powerful technology that was going to enable us to do things
that were really productive. Like, I could see surgery and
warfare and things like this where there are true,
like, industrial uses for the technology. And at
the same time, I watched my daughter, and it was like
immediately she settled into that lower brain

(21:12):
state and was being hit with this dopamine over and over and over and over
again. And I thought, this is really, really
dangerous. And so, you know, what you're talking about with video games
and pornography and, and just non productive activities,
I think, is even going to be ratcheted up to a level that we can't
even imagine in the coming years. A hundred percent. And we have to, like,

(21:34):
again, if you're not given a vision for why to avoid it,
you're going to fall for it. And I don't even, like, if somebody's not given
that vision, then it's going to be
more seductive, more and more and more. What I
hope will happen is that people who are Jesus followers will be this
weird alternate society that sticks

(21:56):
out even more in a good way, because we don't do that
because we want to have life, and life that's real. Right.
And we should be the narrow road. Right. The narrow path.
We should be sticking out anyway. Yeah, but how much more
attractive can that be if the life we're living
for the king is actually one that makes sense and is

(22:19):
productive in, in contrast to a world that's just in
chaos? Yeah. Um, yeah, so, so you talk
about why it's important to, for men to take
responsibility of their own spiritual life. Talk about that a little bit. Yeah.
So this is really good news because I think a lot of guys
feel like they're not very spiritual or that something's wrong with

(22:41):
them. Maybe they're married and their wife
is more demonstrative and emotional about her faith. Maybe she really enjoys the
worship services or gets all excited about music and maybe
the guy doesn't. Sometimes it's reversed. I met one couple when I talked
about this. She's an engineer, she's analytical. He's an artist. Yeah,
but she always thought something was wrong with her because she didn't feel God's presence

(23:04):
around. And I want to tell guys
off the top of the rooftops, if you don't feel
God around, it's okay. I don't
most of the time. Almost all the time. But that's how
I'm wired. So that's not
spirituality, though. We made it because our culture is so into

(23:26):
emotion determining reality. It bleeds over into church culture,
too, where emotions are spirituality. That's not a biblical
idea. Guess what, guys? Good news. If you don't feel God around,
it doesn't mean he left. It doesn't mean that he's fake. It doesn't mean
that he's disgusted by your sin and will never have anything to do with you
again. Your feelings can change based

(23:49):
on what you just ate or whether your team lost yesterday or,
like, your feelings do not determine reality.
Spirituality in the Bible is loyalty. Right?
So even as a sinner, I can keep going back and conversing and
walking with God. I keep showing up. I'm loyal. It's
called hesed in the Hebrew, but it's used many

(24:12):
times to describe God's relationship to us, but also ours to him. That's
what he's actually looking for. And if you're not particularly emotional, you don't feel
anything, you can still be loyal. Guys know loyalty.
We actually know what that looks like. I'm trying to say this
is something. No one's going to do it for you, but good news, this isn't
about emotions and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. In addition

(24:34):
to that loyalty, I think that one of the words that's really clear to men
is duty. Yeah. And unfortunately, we're being divorced
from duty as men. Right. Yeah, but. But when we're told to
take up our cross daily, first of all, it's every
day. That's an ongoing duty. Um, but I think as
men, if we understand, okay, this sometimes may look like

(24:56):
work. Right? Yeah. That's a good place to start.
Yeah. Right. So, like, loving your enemies each day.
How am I going to do that? Right, like, so this is. This is a
practical walking out. It's not based on my emotions,
which, which wax and wane, but God's
presence doesn't work like that. Like, it's not a matter of, do I feel

(25:18):
so. Even I mentioned, like David in psalms, he'll stop himself
and talk to himself and say, like, why are you so
downcast? Oh my soul, put your trust in God. He's talking to his
own soul. He does it multiple times where he addresses his
bad thinking with the truth. Even if he's not feeling
it, he can go, yeah, but it's still true. His mercies are new

(25:40):
every morning. I may be a sinner, but I'm going to keep talking to him
and he's going to help me grow up over time. Wow, man.
You mentioned loving your enemies, which is
incredibly difficult as men, and yet it's a commandment.
But alternately, I think men have a problem with
love in general. How would you see real

(26:03):
love in the context of manhood? Yeah, so this is a point
of real confusion too. Like, Dallas Willard pointed this out.
It was like, people will say, I love this, I love that. I love chocolate
cake. You love chocolate cake. You mean
you want to consume it and digest it,
right? That's love. You want to destroy it. So you

(26:24):
can see how we can treat women that way. Oh, I love this woman.
When really what you're saying is I love how she makes me feel. So really
what you're saying is I love me. So that's not
love. Love is wanting the best for the other
person. So I love my wife. Well,
when I am her biggest fan supporter, I want the best for

(26:47):
her. Like, I want to see her thrive and flourish.
That now we're talking, even if it costs me, even if
my feelings aren't good in the moment, like, it's okay, it's
not about me. So that is a very important point. But
once guys understand that too, they can start to walk that out better, then,
yeah, definitely. We're going to dig a little bit more into that.

(27:09):
But first, I want to take a quick break, man. I want to ask a
favor of you. As you know, the thinking dad podcast is brand
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(27:32):
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(27:54):
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They've really been a blessing to us and they just believe in this
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(28:16):
you to them. It really does help out. All right, Brandt, uh, we're
talking about real love and uh, and how this
can be understood in the context of manhood. Uh,
you talk about kindness though, as well, and you say the world is
starved for seasoned, other centered men
who can offer guidance and deep kindness. Go, go for

(28:39):
that. Definitely. I feel a little bit ripped off.
Like, I smile when I say it, but sort of do
by the number of older guys who
are still needy, like they still are
insecure and they can, it almost, it can almost bleed insecurity.
I see this a lot. I also see a lot of older guys that are

(29:00):
stuck on news channels all day. Hmm. Worked into a
frenzy. They're anxious, they're angry
and they should have been the people that we look at
and they have wisdom and patience
and like they're able to just listen and offer
insight, but they're so worked up

(29:21):
by the news. I think it's too bad.
Like, I want to grow into that, though. I want to grow into that sort
of guy. And that means I have to put my attention on the right
things because my attention is determining who I'm becoming,
where I put my attention. Yeah. So
gentleness would be, it's in short supply and wisdom certainly is.

(29:43):
Man, I didn't quite understand that phrase until you were
talking about it. And as I'm thinking about it, I'm very blessed to have a
dad who, he's a couple hours away, so I got to call
him. Right. But when I call him, I can say, dad, heres what im
dealing with. And a lot of times, hell, just listen.
And if I say dad, I really need to just get this off my chest.

(30:06):
Hes not going to come right away with advice. Hes just going to listen to
me. But what I realize in him is that aspect of
kindness now as I see it, and man, I strive to be the same
way. When I have other men in my life who are trying to struggle, I
tend to be, um, empathetic and want to, want to feel
with them. Right. Um, that I think is

(30:28):
looked at as unmasculine in. In many cases. And yet,
like you mentioned, it's so necessary. Right? It totally is. And it means
I've got the power, and we all do verbally,
to cripple people. Oh, yeah. But we're not going to do
it, right? Like, I could. I could cut my wife to ribbons. She could do
the same thing to me. But I've also physically stronger. Like,

(30:50):
I can do a lot of damage, but I'm not going to do it. Instead,
I'm going to use whatever I'm given, whatever resources, strength, intelligence,
anything I have to make people more secure. The vulnerable get to be more
secure. That's gentleness. There's something actually extremely
masculine about that, like having that sort of power and
using it to defend and build up.

(31:12):
Yeah, you said something really, really critical there. You
said, um, we have the power to crit, uh, cripple
people, but we're not going to do it. And as you
were saying that, I was struck by the fact that if you watch, um,
like, Twitter videos right now, or x. Sorry, elon.
Um, what you'll see pop up in your feed over and

(31:35):
over is these videos of these gangs of men
beating up other people. And it seems almost
unprovoked. And what I'm struck by is the fact that in so many
cases, these are young men who have lacked
godly fathers, who have lacked this godly wisdom that we're
trying to turn over now. And the only way to reclaim that and

(31:57):
the only rate to help those men to understand that you're not a
man by victimizing other people or crippling other people.
You're a man when you don't do those things. Right?
Right. So, so a couple things. Number one,
I told my son when he was like, I think he was nine and he
was picking on his little sister. And I came in the back room, she

(32:19):
was like, justice, like saying his name. I quit. I was like, what's going on?
And he was picking on her, right? And I said something that I didn't
really think about that much at the time, but I said,
just, you're supposed to defend your little sister,
but now you're the problem. I have to defend her against you.
Wow. You have a job and you betrayed your job.

(32:42):
Well, okay, so guys need to hear that. The weird thing was, I don't
remember having that problem again with him.
I think it clicks with young boys if you say you have
a role in this families to make people more secure. You don't pick on your
sister? No, the exact opposite. They
understand that instantly. I think

(33:02):
it's so much a part of the male heart at its
best that we just instantly resonate with it.
The second thing I wanted to point out, because this wasn't from my book, it
was another book, but I put it in my book with attribution.
A guy was talking about how he used to pat himself on the
back for saying, if an intruder came into my

(33:25):
home, I would defend my wife, I would do whatever it takes.
And then he realized that doesn't happen very often.
He said, usually the intruder is me.
It's my words, it's my sarcasm. With
my wife, or a little put down or a

(33:46):
lack of blessing, you can even just
pause, and that can be a curse to your wife. She's like,
I love you. And you pause, oh,
I love you too. It could just be an intonation,
but you're the intruder now that she has to
be protected from. Wow. And when that guy said that, I'm like,

(34:08):
that is so true. I had to change my own approach to be
kinder in my own. I need to be the kindest to
my wife, the most polite,
amp it up. Not to strangers. She
should feel totally secure with me. And to the extent that she
does, as a matter of fact, she finds me really attractive. It's funny, like,

(34:31):
which just, it's a nice, like, it's not a vicious cycle, a virtuous cycle. It's
actually a beautiful thing. But that's, that's the gentleness that I'm talking about.
It's a proactive thing where it's like, I am not going to be the intruder.
I'm going to be her defender. Wow, man,
you, you mentioned a little bit ago that guys get so caught up in
media, right? We've got these guys who are just brooding over the news and

(34:53):
things like this. And this, I think,
lends to a spirit of kind of joylessness.
And you've done something that I don't know, that I've run across,
which is you have written from a manly perspective
about joy, which I think is cast as a bit of
a feminine trait, and it's not. It's a fruit of the spirit. Right,

(35:15):
right. How are we
in this world where it's so easy to get bogged down by all that
stuff? How are we able to exhibit real
joy? Okay, so I define joy. I borrow Willards
definition. Borrow it. It's a pervasive
sense of well being regardless of circumstances.

(35:37):
So I can be grieving and still have this pervasive sense of,
well, but just a deep sense that I'm hurting, but.
And yet it's, well, with my soul
kind of thing. So that's what joy is.
It's a wonderful thing to have. Very few people have it. It's
available to us if we don't. If we don't give it

(36:00):
up, if we pay attention to the right things.
So that's. I do write about that.
It is something that you can draw on throughout life. Now,
here's. Here's the key with this. It's not about naivete. It's not about,
I don't know what's going on. But in this culture, if you're actually
at peace, people think you're nuts. Like, what's the

(36:23):
matter with you? Aren't you aware of this thing and that thing and what they're
doing in the schools and what the, you know, this war and that other thing
and that? Haven't you seen it? Yeah. Yeah. But I
don't know less. I know more. I know about the kingdom
of goddess and Jesus himself, saying, in this world,
you're going to have troubles. But be of good cheer, because I've

(36:44):
overcome the world. Wink, wink, nod, nod. I know how this ends.
It works out great for you. You don't need to be anxious.
Amen. I mean, it's not naivete. Jesus
is not crazy or naive. He knows the brokenness of the world, but he's
saying, I know how this ends. So one last point on that right now,
as we're talking, my favorite team is playing in the NCAA

(37:06):
tournament. I'm a graduate from
Illinois. Okay? Years ago. Use this as an example. They were in
the elite eight, down by 15 with three minutes left to
Arizona. Now, I was watching with my son.
He was young, and I turned totally negative as a dad. I was like, we
might as well just shut this off. It's over. They couldn't hit shots.

(37:29):
The refs were driving me crazy. They couldn't get the calls. And my wife
said, would you just let him have fun? You don't have to be mister negative.
So we left it on, and I'll be darned if they didn't come back and
win that game. Go to the final four. So I
watch that on YouTube now. I'm not
anxious. I'm not mad at the refs. Amen.

(37:51):
Why? Because you know the outcome.
I know how to sins. Amen. Which seems to be what Jesus
is saying. Like, even if the ship goes down in the storm, don't you know
you're safe with me, even the worst case scenario.
So this isn't naivete, it's
being aware, but being more aware so that I can actually be of good

(38:14):
cheer, even with all the other stuff going on, because I
know what lasts and I know where we're headed. And it's actually a big party,
and I'm looking forward to it. Wow. Yeah. My wife will
often talk about, um, as. As parents, so
many times we realize we're not capable
of what's coming. We're not capable. Capable of doing what we're

(38:36):
called to do in many cases. And so as parents,
we get the opportunity to say, okay, lord, you've got to take
care of this. Right? And then, even better, he gets all the glory. We
didn't. We don't get to accept it because we didn't do it right.
The Bible talks about casting our cares
on the Lord. Right? You call this outsourcing

(38:59):
your worries? Well, I was listening to a book
by Tim Ferriss. He's like a business guru guy. Whatever
time, work week. Yeah, that was it. So I didn't make it all the way
through the book, but it had some good stuff. But one of the things he
said was he outsources everything to his indian personal
assistant. So she's in India, and he calls her and

(39:20):
says, can you schedule this? He's, like, really worried about something.
And he said, as a joke, he said to her, hey, can you worry
about this for me today? And she's
like, okay, I will. And he
said, the funny thing was, it worked. Wow.
Just knowing somebody else was worrying about it for him. And I'm like, that's actually

(39:43):
genius. And that's like you said, we're supposed to cast our cares,
we're told to outsource our worries to God. Amen. He
cares for us. Number one, he can do something about it. Number two.
So when Paul says, don't be anxious
for anything, instead, pray about everything, tell God what
you need, and then thank him for all he has done. And

(40:05):
then this peace that we're talking about, the sense
of well being beyond our understanding will guard our hearts.
We won't be anxious. So literally, it's
genius. Outsource your worries to him. You can't handle next
week. He can. He's already there.
So outsource it to him and then turn it to

(40:27):
gratitude. And it turns out that gratitude chases away
anxiety. Like, all of modern psychology knows that. Wow.
So this is a doable way to live. It's not just religious,
you know, hocus pocus, sky and the. You know, clouds and rainbows.
It's. This is actual way to live where you will become a less anxious
person. Amen. Yeah. And that verse refers

(40:49):
to peace that passes understanding. And
our family's been in a bit of a season where we've needed that peace.
And I can tell you that as a christian man, I'm
approaching 50. And, uh, that's one thing,
is when. When there are those times where you can't even understand how you're going
to go on and you cry out to the Lord,

(41:13):
it's amazing how he is able to bring the peace that allows
you just to move from step to step to step, and pretty soon you
look back and you go, oh, we're through it.
And I don't even know how we got here. Right? Yeah. Oh, man, that's
so good. So to your point, though, on that, I
love that. Because if you ever talk to people

(41:36):
who have gone through the worst case scenarios, I mean,
horrible. Because you can always be like, well, yeah, it sounds good. Until you go
through this horrible thing, talk to people who are
believers who've gone through worst case scenarios, and
invariably that comes up like, there was a
piece that it's hard to describe that I've never experienced

(41:56):
before, because you think on this end of
things, like, I couldn't handle that. Yeah, well, okay.
But God doesn't give you that until you need it.
Like, for that, just for that season.
That's really encouraging to me when I think about what could happen, like, well,
if it does, apparently God shows up in a

(42:19):
new way. That's what I'm learning.
Amen, man. As a side note, man, I've
got a good friend, Paul Hastings. He hosts a show called
compelled, and his show is all about
sharing amazing testimonies of God's
faithfulness. And the one thing you'll get out

(42:40):
of it is the fact that over and over and over and over, God is
faithful to walk with people through the darkest
circumstances. So take a chance to listen to the show. It'll really
build you up. Um, I think in a future season, we'll have
to have Paul come on the show and talk as well. But, Brandt,
back to you. I didn't. Definitely didn't mean to take a left turn

(43:02):
to a compelled commercial.
You. You're a guy who, it seems to me, is
obviously pretty driven. You've written several
books. You've got a radio show, a
podcast. You do charity work and advocacy,
and yet you've written that you've never had kind of

(43:23):
a big vision for your life or a plan for your career,
and that that's important in establishing peace in your
life. Explain that. Well, I have a vision for
who I want to be, but it's not a career stuff. I mean, who I
want to be for my wife and kids and my neighbors,
but I don't feel like I know what I'm doing with my career

(43:45):
stuff. I have never had a plan. I meant to be a baseball
announcer, and I can't. I can't see very well. And I don't know why it
didn't dawn on me that you can't see the ball. You're not
going to be a very compelling play by play guy.
But I wound up being a newsman on the radio, and that's all
I wanted to do. I got my degree in journalism. I did, like, a

(44:08):
minute of news at the top of the hour, and then they would leave me
on longer and longer, so they thought it was funny and weird.
And ultimately they
split. I was a sidekick, and they moved the lady I was on with to
another time slot. I was doing the morning show by myself, and I was like,
please don't make me do this. And then the ratings went

(44:29):
up. Wow. So then they syndicated. Now we're
on. Like, I don't know if it's 200 stations or something,
but I didn't plan any of that. And
I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing. But
all I do each day is I keep showing up and I keep asking

(44:50):
God for today's resources. So Jesus says,
pray for your daily bread. I need
social energy because I'm an introvert. I need content
ideas because I always have to come up with that. For the radio,
I asked God for today's content. Please help me
have what I need to say that hopefully it's a blessing to people. I ask

(45:12):
him. Ask him for the social energy piece, for
wisdom for today. And my thinking was, he'll make
a path for me. And he has.
It's unbelievable. I didn't plan any of this stuff, and it's the
sweetest stuff, too. Like, being involved with this hospital network I get to work with,
and I could never have planned

(45:34):
that. It is so sweet. But I
look back and I'm like, it is. God gets the credit because I don't. I
feel like I'm kind of forced gumping my way through, right? But
it's working. And instead of being stressful because I'm so needy or I'm
chafing for the next thing or I need more attention or whatever,
just being faithful with today and letting him be my,

(45:59):
he can make a way for me.
Do you think as you get older, it gets easier to see how
God's done that and so you have some reassurance going forward?
Yeah. You have to remind yourself, though, because we forget so easily.
Right. But to be grateful is to remind yourself,

(46:19):
to praise God is to remind yourself how good he is.
Remember, he doesn't need us to praise him. He doesn't
need anything. It's good for us because
it reminds us of his character and his goodness, and that puts us more at
ease. Can we remember? Like, well, wait a, wait, I
thought we were in crisis a year ago, and he

(46:41):
worked that out just like what you were talking about. Like, he.
So to have those stories, too, that you can tell your family back and forth,
like, remember when he, remember when we. And then I think is a really
beautiful thing, so that over time, you do as you get older, go,
I don't know everything about God. I don't have all the answers to all
the tough questions, but I

(47:04):
know enough to know I can trust him. Amen. I can trust his character.
That's it. Yeah. I think that's such an encouragement.
I know, even to me, because one of the biggest struggles men have
is imposter syndrome. Right? Totally. Everywhere we are, we feel
like we're not really equipped. And the truth is, half the time, we're not
really equipped. Right? Yeah. But God, right. We get

(47:27):
to rest on him and say, okay, lord, you've
promised to provide for my daily bread. And I'm. I'm
calling out to you, and this is what I need in the moment. It is
so good. And I can tell you I'm in a similar, similar place. If.
If I could have never imagined I would be doing
this now, I couldn't have imagined I would be doing this

(47:49):
now five years ago, let alone when I was
20 years old. I was in a completely different world at that
time. Right. Um, so, man, I just, honestly, I just want to
say thank you for bringing that up, because it's a reassurance.
Good. And hopefully it leads to a life
that's a lot more relaxed, just a lot, because

(48:11):
Jesus is relaxed. Look at how he's present with people.
Amen. I love that. The samaritan lady at the well
story, I never noticed this until recently.
After that whole thing, he's talking to her, and then she goes back to her
village. She's like, he may be the messiah. What do you think? So they meet
him and they say, hey, you want to stay with us for a few

(48:32):
days? And I stopped myself, and I was reading out the Bible.
Like, I don't remember this. I wonder what he says.
He says, yeah. And so he stays with him for a few
days. Yeah. Like, he's got. He's got more
to do than we do or what. But, like, he's relaxed. So
doing this day to day thing helps me just be. I don't think I'm that

(48:54):
driven, but what I am is present. So
whoever I'm talking to, I am dialed into, and
I want to be faithful with whoever crosses my path.
That's what I ask for. And then to be focused and let God take
care of my. Whatever stuff. We can do that.
So. So as men, how do you balance, then?

(49:18):
Because we're also called to be faithful stewards. We're called to be
working. How should we be dreaming and planning and building
as men? Well, okay. I think
contentment is way underrated. Okay. Doesn't get talked about
enough. And one of the things I actually do talk
about is I think I have a chapter called, wow, that's

(49:39):
awesome. And I don't have to have it. Like, it's a wonderful thing to
say. And it occurred to me when I was out walking in my neighborhood, there's
a Porsche Carrera that sits out here, which is a beautiful car.
Yeah. And as I was. I was walking by, like, I actually could get
one now. That's really awesome. I'd like, wait, why can't
I just say, that's a beautiful car, and I don't have to own it?

(50:01):
Right? Why can't I say that about a woman? Wow, that's a beautiful
woman. And that's it. I can actually.
I don't have to have everything, but that's kind of
countercultural. But what it does is it leads you to make better decisions and
wise decisions to also realize,
like, that takes a lot of stress out of the finances when you're like, I

(50:23):
don't have to have all these nice things. I need to be
dialed in and faithful.
God can meet our needs. So I made a
decision years ago to take a very low paying job
so that I'd be home all the time. We barely made any
money, but we homeschooled. So I was home

(50:46):
by noon or one. I had a very low stress job,
and I forsook law school at the
time. I got. It fits a long story, but no
prestige for what I was doing. No money. I
would never trade that. I had every afternoon to hang out and play and go
swimming with my kids. Yeah. Every

(51:07):
day. And now the Lord's been faithful in
this season. I'm making up for lost time. Right.
So I think a lot of wisdom for guys is understand
your life is in seasons. Okay?
So little kids season is little kid season.
It's not big truck season. Right. If that's the

(51:30):
decision, like, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Like, you don't need that
yet. You can get one maybe later. But there's a lot of decisions we can
make just dialed in to know what season of life you're actually in
so that you can be a good steward with that season of your life.
Jeff, man, I love that you say stewarding
the season because its so much more than just

(51:52):
thinking about what we need to do right now with these
resources. And stewardship always tends toward
how are we managing our money or time. Right. But youre talking
about whole, whole big eras with our
family and with our career. Thats so important.
I want to ask you one more question down this path, and I think I

(52:15):
know where youre going. Um, as you're doing that,
though, day to day, right. There's always
the, the temptation in the back of your mind to say, what are we
going to do at retirement age? Like, how am I going to make
it when I'm old and I've forsook all these things
now? So how do we balance as men

(52:38):
kind of living day to day, trusting God for our daily
bread, and knowing that he says that
a righteous man leaves an inheritance for his children and grandchildren?
Yeah, I think that verse is doing a lot of
work there for people. I mean, are you telling me that

(52:58):
the faithful believers I get to work with in Africa,
like, if they don't leave an inheritance, they're not righteous? I don't
think that's right. I'm all for leaving an inheritance, by the way. I hope I
do for my kids, but I don't think that's the
prescription, per se. What you said at the beginning is the
prescription, which is trusting God with it. So for me, it was a trusting God

(53:20):
with my retirement when I made these decisions
to be with my kids, that my kids know me and they
still know me. Amen. And unlike my
growing up existence, which was just this christian home of a pastor, it was a
highly hypocritical home. Like, they hear me
on my podcast or they hear me talking to you or whatever, and they're not

(53:41):
going, oh, what a big fake, right? There is no
disconnect, but I made those decisions,
and I'm so thankful I did. And God provided the whole way. So we have
a whole raft of stories about how God provided just in the nick
of time. And now that the kids are out of
the house, I've got a good retirement built up.

(54:04):
I didn't see that coming. Right? There's no way I saw that coming.
Yeah, he's faithful with those decisions.
Yeah, man,
I really appreciate that. And I know I dropped that one on you, but I
wanted to see how you would go with it. But I'm in the same place
we a little more than seven years ago now. Our

(54:26):
family sold our house and everything in it and
loaded up in a travel trailer and an excursion
and drove out across the country to make a movie. And I knew at the
time I didn't have the money for the movie. I didn't have the money to
live like a traveling retired person. And we had to daily
trust in the Lord. And just like you, and this is

(54:47):
the reason I bring that up, is just like you, I have story
after story after story, right, of God. So do your kids.
Yes. Amen. They were there the whole time, right? They will never forget
that, ever. I know you're about out of
time. Cause I can tell you one more question. Oh, yeah, totally. Cause this is
so stupid. Like, I'm embarrassed by this story, but it's wonderful.

(55:09):
It's stupid on my part. I was out running. So
we had one vehicle. When I had this job, when the kids were growing
up and I was doing a morning show, I had to get up really early.
My wife had to get up and leave the kids in the bunk beds, drive
me to work, come back quickly. I was out running one day,
this is in south Florida, and I was praying out loud,

(55:30):
which I rarely did. I do now all the time. But I was out
running. I was like, God, please get us a car. And
then I thought, I don't believe in that sort of theology. So
a guy drives past in a jeep with his son, who's about the same age
as my son, the tops down. And I laughed and sarcastically
said, and make it a convertible.

(55:53):
So. And I laughed because I was like, what a stupid prayer
to just name it, claim it. It offends every part of my
theology. Amen, dude. By the end of the
day, somebody gave me a convertible.
Wow. It was at a Bible group we had
just joined. And a guy said, it's a lawyer here

(56:15):
locally. I didn't even know him that well. He said, I feel like
God wants me to give you a vehicle, man. He said, our
parents just gave us a minivan. We now have three vehicles. And he said,
do you mind if it's a convertible? And I went
to his house after the Bible study, in shock. Wow. Like you don't
realize. I just prayed today, sarcastically.

(56:40):
We went to his house that evening. I got in the
cardinal, put the top down, drove down 95
under the stars, just in shock. Went
upstairs, because the kids were. They weren't asleep yet. And
I said, I asked God for a car today. I want you to come
downstairs. And we all got in the convertible in their

(57:01):
pajamas and everything, and I took them for a drive.
I'm like, I want you to remember this because this makes no sense.
This is absurd. How do you deny that God did
something? And in his infinite sense of humor,
apparently. So my really
flippant prayer to just go, I won't be

(57:24):
put in a box. So I tell people when I've told that
story, like, this isn't a formula, where you can go, now I want a car.
That's just the point, right? It's not a formula. God is not
a formula. Right? And I wouldn't. Yeah. I wouldn't. I wouldn't even
advise people to pray that prayer. And yet he gave me a convertible that day.
It's absurd. Yeah. I don't mean to put words in your mouth,

(57:46):
but what you're not affirming is the name it and claim it
gospel. No, no, that's just it. Like, that. That's the irony of it. All right.
It's. You're saying, right, it's not a magic spell where you're like hocus
pocus. Now, this has to happen. No, no, but he will. He'll
even blow up my. My thing if he gets a kick out of it. I
guess so. It was a. It was an infinity with 50,000

(58:08):
miles on it. Wow. I drove the heck out of it for years. Passed it
on. It's been through, like, four families now. It's really funny.
That's absurd. I'm almost embarrassed telling the story, but it's so good.
It just shows God's goodness and. Yeah,
that story, my kids. My kids will never forget that he's faithful.
Even when we're not. Right. Even when I. Yeah. Oh,

(58:32):
man. Okay. Do you have another few minutes to address one more
issue? Because as you're telling this story,
it almost. It almost seems like we're painting a picture of an
unbelievable God. Right? And one of the things
we've seen over the last few years, especially post
Covid, is this rise of mass

(58:54):
skepticism. Right? Don't believe anything you see
about anything. And tied in with that over the
last decade or so, has been this growing movement of
deconstruction. Yeah. And you talk a little bit about
deconstruction in your book. Um, what.
What do you have to say to people who are in that phase where they're

(59:16):
looking at everything they believed about God and saying, no, no, no, I can't do
this. Yeah. I would say, number one, I get it. I'm a skeptic.
Skeptic. I literally, when I was doing talk radio, I literally had the
guy who started skeptic magazine on the show, head of the
American Humanist association, who admitted that I'm more skeptical than he
is, which is funny, even though he knew I was a Christian, just because.

(59:38):
I get it. I totally get it. However, I've noticed
something. When people leave the faith and they write these manifestos on Instagram
or whatever, they could be, like, pastors or
academics or just high profile christians. Like, I'm out of here.
When they write these things, they don't mention
Jesus. That's really

(01:00:00):
weird. I'm like, what.
What was this then? Because if it's not about the kingdom of God, they don't
mention the kingdom of God. They don't mention Jesus. Like, what do you. What were
you in this for? Because if it is just church culture you were in this
for, I wouldn't stay either. Amen. Right? Because it's. I'm not
here for the t shirts or the christian movies or. Or

(01:00:20):
whatever. Like, if. If it's not about Jesus,
I'm out. And here's the other thing. If you say, and again, I
grew up in a very hypocritical religious household,
if you say, well, there's all these hypocrites, that's why I'm out of
here. I would count it with, why would you
give hypocrites the power to stop you from the best relationship of your

(01:00:42):
life? I'm not going to do that. Like, this is the
only possible source for lasting peace and hope,
and I'm going to let hypocrites chase me away from that. Nah,
nah. I'm not going to. Another thing, I might add, would
be once you've seen the kingdom of God for real, you actually understand
it. You don't want to leave it. It's like the treasure in the field, the

(01:01:05):
pearl of great price. Like, you will give everything for it. I usually say, I
wish you would come with me to one of these hospitals I get to work
with that are all about Jesus and surgery for the poor,
like, so that kids can run again, get up and walk for the first time
in their lives, like, 16 year olds. Like, getting surgeries in the name of
Jesus for free. Last year, we did

(01:01:25):
18,000 surgeries. Wow. All in the name of
Jesus. And then 40,000 people became believers at our hospitals. There's
eight permanent hospitals drawing from all these different countries just for the poorest of the
poor. Like, that expression of Christianity.
Like, you want to walk away from that, right? If
you think a Christian. When you think of a Christian, you're like, well, it's a

(01:01:47):
white evangelical in America who. No, the median
Christian in the world. If you were going to draw the picture, be an african
woman, you think that that's just a big bunch of
bunk. Like, it. Like, so
I have questions for the deconstructors, too, and I can respect what they're
dealing with, but I also think you haven't really understood the kingdom of God, or

(01:02:08):
you wouldn't ever want to turn your back on that. Yeah. Amen.
Yeah. And unfortunately, I think that in
many ways, the church has ignored the kingdom of God and
focused so much on culture and
man centered things. It's
repulsive. Well, Jesus favorite topic is the kingdom of

(01:02:29):
God, right? That's the topic he talks about the most. And that
you can grow up in church and, like, what is it? I don't really understand
it or what? Like, what? It's kind of this amorphous thing,
but when you start to get your head around it, when you see it in
action, when you see it breaking through, like,
people being healed, that sort of thing, it's a. It's an advanced trailer of

(01:02:51):
heaven, right? It's an. And it's. We're getting to see it.
Like, you telling me that doesn't appeal to you? In
fact, here's my thing. When. When people see it, whether they're believers or not, and
they get a hint, the kingdom, they get goosebumps.
Yeah. And they don't even know why. Like, why is this
reunion video when this soldier shows up, surprises his

(01:03:12):
daughter? Why is this making me cry? Why? When
I see people get their cochlear implants turned on for the first time, they hear
music for the first time, why do they start bawling and I start
bawling? Why, at these hospitals, when a kid gets to get
up and run for the first time and they're giggling and just sprinting,
like, why does that give me goosebumps? It's all a

(01:03:34):
harbinger of heaven. Oh, man. It's for the place that we're made
for. It's all. We're nostalgic for this place. All of us are made for
this restoration, healing, reunions.
Like, the kingdom's really good. I'm not walking away. That's
all. Amen, man. I'm struck by the
fact that as you talk about the kingdom and getting this taste of

(01:03:56):
heaven right now, we're in a time where it seems like
the world is just in chaos. Right? Everything's going
crazy, unquestionably. And so as
christians, one of our responses is, okay, I got to read revelation and see what's
coming, right? And our bent is to read through that and
see the beast and the bowls of wrath and all these

(01:04:18):
things. And I want to encourage men right now to read it
and look at what John is looking at. He says,
then I looked and I saw. Then I looked and I saw. Then I looked
and I saw. And so many of these visions
are of the restored church in heaven.
And it's beautiful that we get to cast our crowns

(01:04:40):
at the feet of the king. We get to be the pure bride of
Christ. That is the kingdom. And I want to encourage
people as you listen. Yeah, there are, there are
sinners, there are hypocrites in the church. That's
not the bride of Christ. And what we get on,
on earth is. Is in some ways this

(01:05:01):
broken portion of creation where even the bride of
Christ can be. Um, what would you say,
Brent? Like, compromised? Compromised, yeah,
we can be smirched ourselves, I guess. But the great thing, though,
Jesus is saying the kingdom is breaking through now and then. What does he do?
He heals somebody. Like, 75% of his miracles in

(01:05:24):
the Bible are healings. Like, he could have done anything random,
but he doesn't. He could have been like, check out, you know, I'll make the
star explode. But he doesn't. It's healing because it's like the kingdom is
breaking through. The lame will leap. Like, dear, the deaf will
hear. All of this is going to be made new, and it's already
happening through us. We can be a part of this. And I,

(01:05:46):
that's an exciting thing to be a part of in a chaotic world, to be
this outpost to the kingdom where things are different. The last or first, the
first or last people get healed. Pretty awesome.
Amen. That is the church. That is the kingdom, and
it is worthy. Brant, I want to thank you so much for your time today.
This has been a really fun conversation. Do me a real quick

(01:06:09):
favor for our listeners. Tell them about
your books and. And go through all of them real quick because I'm just blown
away. Oh, thanks. Unoffendable is the first one. It's
about forgiveness, radical forgiveness. It's very counterintuitive.
It's about righteous anger and
how we can't have it. It's only God's. That's very

(01:06:32):
counterintuitive. People are like, how can that be? But that's. That's what I
talk about in the book. Second one is called blessed are the Misfits.
It's about being analytical or an introvert or a spiritual
struggler. And it's really good news for
people like that, like me. I'm also on the spectrum, so
I talk about being, you know, somebody used to be called Asperger's, but now

(01:06:55):
it's just high functioning autism.
So I talk about relating to God coming from that
angle. Third book is called the truth about us,
and it's about how modern cognitive science agrees with Jesus on
everything, like, how self righteous we are.
It's hilarious. Like, all these different studies that they do, how humans

(01:07:17):
work, our cognitive biases, it all points right
back to what he already told us about ourselves,
that there's nobody who's good. Right? Like, he knows,
right? Yeah, he knows, but he's. That's why he's here. And it's.
It's really good news, but it's. It's a fun study of.
Of humanity, I think, with some. With some humor, I

(01:07:40):
hope. The next book is called the Men we need. We've been talking about
that. Yeah. And then this book that
just came out recently, it's called life is hard, God is good. Let's dance. And
it's about anxiety and this peace that we're talking about.
Yeah. So hopefully that's a really fun read.
Yes. Life is hard, God is good. Let's dance. And the last one just

(01:08:02):
came out. It's the younger version of the men we need for small groups of
guys, high school graduates. College age would be fine, too,
even like 8th grade, I think. But use any excuse you
have. I wish I could just get. Just go to the library if you have
to borrow it. Get a kid to read it. I'm not trying to sell a
book. I honestly just think guys desperately need this. So there you go. There's the

(01:08:22):
whole. I recommend all of these
heartily. They're so good. And I want to say thank
you for taking the time to write them and
really putting yourself in a vulnerable position as you write as well.
How can our listeners connect with you as far as your radio show and
podcast and all that. Sure. Branthansen.com. and it's

(01:08:45):
Brant, H a n s e n. Don't
spell it with an o. There is a brand Hanson. We're actually
friends online because he gets my email and I get his email.
It's really funny, but he's like a city planner or something. Great
guy. But you want, if you want to get a hold of me, it's
BrantHansen.com. Awesome. Well, we will put

(01:09:06):
links to all of those resources in the show notes. Head over to
thinking dad.net. you can find the show notes there. Also,
while you're there, you can pick up a t shirt. I am wearing
my super spreader of the gospel shirt today, which you
need go be a super spreader of the gospel. We have other good ones
there, too. Also, while you're there, please take a minute

(01:09:29):
to sign up for our newsletter. Because this is a seasonal show.
The newsletter is the best way to know what's coming up next,
when the next season will start, and other important things. And we promise not
to spam you. So check us out@thinkingdad.net. and
finally, if you feel moved, if the Lord has used this show to
encourage you, we would ask that you would consider giving a one time or

(01:09:51):
monthly donation there. Thinking dad.net. check it out today.
I hope you've been encouraged by my conversation with Brandt. It has
been a blessing to me. Stick around to the end of the show to hear
a clip of what's coming up next on the thinking dad, and we'll see you
back here real soon.

(01:10:11):
There are twice as many commands in scripture for men to
teach and disciple their children as there are for mothers, too.
And I think that's intentional. And I sometimes say that the
main reason for that is that women don't have to be told to teach and
nurture their children. And men do. Just like
love your wives, right? Yeah, exactly. So men

(01:10:34):
have to actually be told to do these things. But on the other
hand, I think that God holds us as fathers
twice as responsible for the education of our children
as our wives. And so this idea that we have
within culture that we're only breadwinners is simply not a biblically
sustainable idea. Right? It's my role as the husband

(01:10:56):
to constantly remind our family of the main
thing and keep pointing us back there and to make sure that we are on
target and we don't derail, we don't go off course and
drift from mission universities,
nonprofits, businesses, oftentimes experience mission
drift, and you find 100 years later, they're completely

(01:11:17):
doing something totally opposite than what they started, like the
YMCA or the Boy Scouts. Right. And so
we want to make sure that we keep our family on mission. But then the
role of the mom, I think, often, is to say, okay, now, here's our big
picture goal. How do we get there, and how do we
implement that? And what's the strategy that we use? And so there really

(01:11:38):
is good teamwork. I think that God makes us, as husbands and wives, a little
different in terms of our thought processes, our skill
sets, our giftings. And so we work together as a
team to make sure that we don't just have a grandiose vision, but that we
actually know how to practically implement it throughout the week.

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Brant Hansen - The Men We Need (To Be)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Brant Hansen - The Men We Need (To Be)