October 30, 2024 • 57 mins
In this episode of the Understanding the Science of You Podcast, Graham Skidmore speaks with wellness coach Jamie Harms about the transformative power of authenticity and self-discovery. Their conversation explores the importance of embracing one's true self and the journey toward healing and connection.
Graham and Jamie discuss practical steps toward cultivating authenticity and the courage it takes to strip away layers of protection. They highlight the importance of creating environments where individuals can express their true selves without fear of judgment.
Watch to gain valuable insights on the journey to self-acceptance and discover how embracing vulnerability can lead to profound personal growth and connection with others.
ABOUT DR. JAMIE HARMS Dr. Harms graduated in 2002 with a masters degree in Physical Therapy. She then continued her education to graduate with a PHD in Physical Therapy. She is currently attending classes to complete her second PHD, continuing to expand my educational experience and knowledge so she can better help the public and the future women of our culture to the betterment of themselves and to reach their fullest potential.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
All right, welcome to one of oursecond to last episodes of this
(00:03):
season one Understanding theScience of You and I am joined
by the one and only Dr, JamieHarms. And I've been, I don't
know, bugging is probably anappropriate word to be able to
get her on onto the show herefor a bit, but she's been tied
up with a busy schedule andeverything. So I'm extremely
appreciative of her being ableto make time here to to join us.
(00:26):
And one of the reasons withamong many that I that I always
enjoy talking with Jamie, andI'm really excited to share
Jamie's, thoughts andperspectives, is because she
always brings us somethingdifferent. A very contrasting
perspective or experience than,you know, than the one that I've
had. So I always pick up things,you know, in our conversations.
(00:47):
And so I know today is going tobe a real doozy, and in a real
treat here for everyonelistening. So, you know, how
would I, how do I want to getthis started? There's so many,
there are so many ways that Icould describe you, and all of
which seems like I'd feel likeI'd be shortchanging you. So
what I will open with is just tosay one, and when I talk about
(01:09):
the differences, you know, Ihave a pretty, you know, I could
consider myself having a prettystrong and you know faith and
belief, and you know in myselfand who I am and my purpose and
things of that nature and andbeing supported by the universe.
And I know, and I and I alwayssay that you know that courage
and belief allows me to have theconfidence to to fight a lion.
(01:32):
But Jamie's faith and belief isalways allowed, allows her to
have the courage to just walkpast the lion. And I think that
those differences really kind ofsummarize, at least, you know,
for me, I'm not putting I'm notspeaking for you, but for me, in
the way that I've kind of seensome of some of our differences,
that's just one of the things onthat that's such a stark
(01:55):
contrast. You know, in realityis that it's that I've always
found it quite interesting,quite frankly, fascinating,
right? Because it is sodifferent. And so I also know
that you're also very private,and so I appreciate you allowing
us to have a little peek behindthe curtain here today. So let's
just help to, you know, make youa little bit more relatable to
(02:17):
the listeners. You know, kind ofjust a little bit like, how did
you grow up? Did you grow up inthe middle of the burbs, you
know, you know, what was kindof, what was a little bit of
your backstory?
I grew up in rural Minnesota ona farm.
(02:37):
Okay, rural Minnesota on a farm.So, when you and, so, you know,
when you say, a farm, does that,does that, does that mean, like,
Hey, you had a couple of horsesand pigs. And people think,
like, Oh, I got some animalsoutside of farm. Are you talking
like, Hey, I might necessarilysee neighbors, and I'm on like,
hundreds of acres, and this is,like, a working, you know,
commercial farm.
(02:58):
Yes, all of the above, workingfarm, and we have hundreds of
acres, and we had hogs andhorses, so, yes, real life farm.
All right. And so. And you livethere through your high school
years, right? And then, if thenthroughout your way, you found
(03:22):
your way to Chicago. I knowthere's some steps along the
way, but without making youbacktrack your entire resume,
right, so then you get yourselfto Chicago. And Chicago, right,
is then isn't a pretty bigdifference from growing up on a
farm, from what you've told me,correct?
Yes
(03:50):
From one of the things that'sthat, you know, people have been
paying attention is the the vastexperiences and exposure that
all of the guests have had inlife, right? And so that's why I
want to do this. Because I thinkwhen people are able to operate
from from two separate placeslike that, they can, they bring
(04:12):
varying perspectives, andintelligence to conversations.
So anyway, so that's just whereI'm just, you know, trying to
already set the stage for how inso many ways you already cover
such a wide spectrum ofexperiences there and so. And so
then from there in Chicago, youfind yourself going down the
(04:35):
professional career path ofphysical therapy. And I know
you're not going to toot yourown horn, so I'm going to do a
little toot, toot for youwithout naming any names. But
you know, because of yours, tellme if I'm wrong, by the way, so
I'm not putting words in yourmouth, but based on your
(04:56):
treatment of of patients,skills, abilities, healing
methods, whatever you want towhatever you want to, whatever
you want to call it, you earned,you know, a high end, I'm not
gonna say high end in terms of,well, I know high end client
tower you had, you had both highend net with individuals as well
as professional sports teams orathletes that you worked with.
(05:22):
And so, you know, you're talkingabout a very small percentage of
people that are able to achievethe levels, you know, in success
like that. So I know you're notgoing to toot your horn, but is
anything that I've saidincorrect?
No.
That's one of the things thatis, you know, again, I always
(05:43):
appreciate you, about you, andthis is why you earned a lot the
opportunities that you did, isbecause you really don't, you
know, like, who somebody issecondary to how they are,
right, or to what they're, youknow, kind of, what they're made
of, and so. And so, then you've,you know, you went from that,
took a step back now, thenyou've went and got your
(06:03):
doctorate in physical therapy.Hence, the Dr. Jamie Harms. In
addition to that, you're alsoabout to then earn your second
doctorate, right? Doctor ofChiropractic, your upcoming is
that also accurate?
Yeah.
All right. So you have a dualdoctorate for yourself. And you
(06:24):
know, and like, I think that thereason why that's also it's the
duality of your doctorates isare also interesting, because
typically, physical therapy andchiropractic are at odds with
each other, and so it takessomebody who's able to really
focus on, how do I be the besthealer and helper to people, to
be able to embrace, you know,and remain open to the various
(06:48):
healing methodologies. And so,you know, would you mind sharing
a little bit about how you wereable to bridge from you know,
having one mindset to, you know,embracing you know, what many
would consider as conflicting,and you see him as more
completing.
Yeah, I think it just goes downto keeping an open mind and not
(07:08):
being closed minded off to otherprofessionals. And that I don't
know it all and together, we canbe a stronger team than
separately.
And so, but like, and so, howdoes like, the understanding
like, I think we would, youknow, we've had various
conversations, and it's easy fordoctors to get caught up into
(07:31):
their specific methodology asthe one that, you know what I
mean, the way, the record oftruth, things of that nature,
right? But look, you know,there's a certain like you've
acknowledged, there's certainthings that you've not, that you
recognize, that you can do intreating people via
chiropractic, that you can'twith physical therapy and vice
versa, right?
(07:52):
Yeah.
Is that right? Yeah, right. Andso, you know, and I guess in
that type of a mindset, have youalways been open to that? Or
have you, you know, to beingremaining ... your whole life
or, okay, so that's go ahead.
(08:15):
No, yes, that's just keeping anopen mind. Most people are close
minded to their own professionsas being the one and only so
just keeping an open mind andletting go of your own ego.
So are you excited about I knowyou're getting ready to graduate
(08:36):
here, so you're getting ready toget excited to be able to put
both of those healing modalitiestogether and into work and into
play.
Yeah.
And then there's a third onehere that we that I want to lean
into, and I don't know how tohow would you kind of describe
your beyond the traditional fivesenses? What you bring to the
(09:00):
healing, right? Like, how do youuse your intuitiveness to, you
know, to be the best healingpractitioner?
Listening.
There's listening, but you'vealso shared with me that you
can, like sense where there'scertain like aches in the body
or things like that, and that'skind of the path I'm looking to
go down.
Oh yeah, it's just a gift I'vehad with my hands. So ever since
(09:23):
I started.
So to walk us through this giftwith your hands, I think a lot
of people, A, find is veryfascinating, and B, find it very
cool. And then can alsorecognize how valuable this is
to for, you know, health carepractitioner to have this. So
what does it mean by, what doyou mean by you get extra
information through your hands?
(09:43):
I just can feel what's beneathmy hands, where some people
don't have that degree ofsensation or feeling. So that's
sort of literally all it comesdown to.
And so I will go, so let's gosay in a physical therapy
setting, how does that help youto get additional information
besides, let's say what you weretaught be, you know, textbooks
(10:06):
and how to understand and feel?
You can feel what's wrong, soit's an extra information. So
the more information you have,the more you can help a person.
And I think that's a that's athat's a really important point,
and that's going to come up in alot of different and throughout
the rest of our conversation. SoI want to move on here. Your
(10:28):
experience and exposure in lifeis so broad and so vast that,
No. 1, I don't know that I'mever going to I would never if I
ever get you to actually evertalk about it here on a podcast.
But you know, needless to sayit, I guess, as you just heard,
keeping an open mind, havingthat a vast experiences, all
(10:51):
only leads down to moreinformation to make the best
decisions available, helpingself, helping others. anyway, so
as and so as you've kind of, youknow, like a lot of the
listeners myself, you've been onyour own personal journey here,
you know, over the last fewyears. I mean, obviously
lifetime, but things have kindof, you know, picked up in
intensity, we'll say, over thelast few years, and things have
(11:14):
been super busy, right? I hadthe luxury of going through a
lot of my my transformations andchanges, being able to, you
know, be a hermit and isolated.You've had to do it, you know,
going to school and being in thepublic and other things like
that, which makes it morechallenging. And so, one of the
(11:35):
things that I've also talkedabout in this podcast has been
taking the old, you know, takingthe new self into old places and
things, and seeing how thatgoes. And so a lot of and so a
lot of the guests have, youknow, have been open in sharing
right to help people feel morecomfortable, to overcome any
concerns or fears that they haveof, you know, starting to show
(11:55):
their new selves, and so, youknow, generally speaking, you
know, how have your friends oryour, you know, received the
new, the new you, or however youwant to kind of describe, you
know, describe that.
How have they received me?
Yeah. Have they been supportive?Are they like, Oh, my God,
(12:20):
you're weird. What's going onwith you? We love the Oh, like,
this is great to see the youknow, this or you know, like,
how are they? Are they seeingyou or describing you
differently?
Just, yeah, I guess, justdifferent. You know, more
outspoken, more assertive. Ithink as everyone gets wiser,
(12:41):
those are the qualities that gowith that personality trait.
You just mentioned the wordsoutspoken and assertive. And I
want to start, I want to pausethere for a moment, because I
think those are really, reallyimportant, because we we've
already talked about how the thedepth of experiences and
exposure in life and successes,right, and things that you've
accomplished, and yet, here youare still acknowledging, hey,
(13:04):
there's more to go. There'sstill more to grow and more to
get better. And, you know,becoming more confident, you
know, and comfortable in self tobecome more outspoken and
assertive, I think that reallyspeaks to one of the underlying
themes that's also been, beenhoping that people are picking
up on, which is, you know, this,this, this thing we're calling
(13:25):
living in life. It's a learning.It's whole journey of learning,
right? It's not about, hey, howto figure it out and then set
it, forget it, and stop going.And so I just wanted to point
that out, that even aftereverything that you've
accomplished in life, you stillremain open, still have an open
mind, still focus on personalgrowth, not just professional
growth. And you know, andthere's not a lot of people that
are that are willing to do that,so I just want to compliment you
(13:46):
on that. And so we were talkingthe other day, and you, and you
see, you said a couple ofthings, and that was like, yes,
exactly yes. Yes, you're gettingit, you're getting it, you're
getting it. And and one ofthose, and one of those was, you
(14:13):
mentioned something along thelines of having a better
understanding of how not beingyour genuine or authentic self
truly affects you. Would youmind, kind of reiterate, you
know, sharing, you know, whatyour observation or learning was
about that?
Yeah, if you are, you know deepdown not wanting to do something
(14:33):
you, you know, are forcingyourself to do, and not being
authentic to your own desires,then it creates an internal
turmoil, and, essentially,unhappiness.
So sometimes and so, like, howdoes that, how does that kind of
then manifest itself in waysthat you maybe weren't even
(14:56):
aware of throughout your healingprocess?
Well, the internal turmoil canbe anything from a headache to a
stomach ache to agitation tolack of sleep. I mean, there's a
whole gamut of reactions thatyour body will manifest when
you're not so you're saying whatyour intention is.
(15:19):
I was just going to do ashameless plug here and say so
you're saying that, you know,based on the news rattled off,
it's really important then forsomebody to Understand the
Science of themselves, so theyunderstand how to recognize when
they're about, when their body'stalking to them and what it's
saying.
Yeah, the body will always tellyou.
And so, so let's so let's talkabout that a little bit, right?
(15:42):
We'll talk about the body I wastelling you. Then that kind of
leans into the other commentthat you made about improving
the quality of life by, byadjusting your expectation to
that of going in each going intosituations from with, Hey, I'm
here to learn, and having anopen mind and curiosity versus,
(16:03):
you know, maybe a specificexpectation. The way you said it
was, you know, was also betterthan I'm saying it right now.
Yeah, it just simplifies everyinteraction. If you're not going
into it wanting to feel betteror with your ego in mind, but
rather, as gaining informationabout the other person and how
(16:26):
they react to respond, it justtells you more about them.
And that goes back to anotherpoint that you said earlier,
which is listening, right? Beingable to listen in the
conversations. And I think we,you know, and that, in itself,
really is an important skill,because everything you just
(16:48):
talked about can't be done ifyou're the one doing all the
talking in a conversation.
Correct.
And so that also, then you know,and so then that also brings
into you know, understanding andrecognizing. You've also started
(17:10):
to recognize how your differentinteractions, you know, adjust,
you know, affect your energiesdifferently. And so, yeah, so
it's so share a little bit soshare a little bit more about
kind of how you've through, youknow, through the, you know,
understanding the science of youright, through, like, you know,
you're both people, environmentand clothes, right? Kind of like
(17:34):
what your thought, what youroutlook was on those things
before, now that you recognizehow they affect you and then how
you handle them differently. Ithink there's a lot of value in
helping people to, you know,understand and bridge that,
starting and ending.
Yes, it's creating an awarenessof how you respond to everyone
(17:57):
and everything, and listening toyour body and your emotions in
terms of how it's affecting you,and then making decisions moving
forward based on that.
And so like, let's just say,well, you will. Will you go into
a couple examples here. Therethey're pretty common in
(18:19):
everyday life for people. Oneis, you know, getting together
with getting together withacquaintances, personal,
professional, whatever it mightbe, right? So do you talk about,
like, feelings or emotions, orunderstanding how things
affecting you? What are some ofthe what's kind of like, your
kind of self checklist, walkingaway from those things to to
understand them, to understandhow those things were affecting
or how that situation affectedyou
(18:41):
Yeah, just, how are you feeling?Did I give you stomachache?
How's your energy? How's yourattitude? Are they draining? Are
they uplifting? Do you feelbetter? Do you feel drained? So
it's just a self check in. Howdoes this person affect me?
Which again, goes to, again,continue to do demonstrate, when
(19:04):
I was mentioning earlier aboutthings, it's never a life in
learning is not a set it andforget it, right? It's
constantly being able to learnhow to take in as much
information as possible. And sothose answers to all the
questions that you said, aregoing to vary in each
interaction, right? So you'vegot to be able to keep an open
mind and listen, to be able tounderstand, each situation and
(19:28):
person differently. And there'sanother interesting one that I
know, that I feel like based onour conversations, played a
played a big factor in yourlife, which was, you know, big
factor, like, what I mean, like,you know, definitely, you know,
helped in the help the happinessfactor, which was understanding
clothes.
(19:48):
Yeah.
Yeah, and how clothes affectedyou, and then how that, how that
altered how you would dressbefore, versus dress now. And I
think that's a very look. Ithink this is a very, very real
topic that's really, reallyimportant. I'm not looking I
think we I'm a guy. I'm not theone who's who to be speaking on
(20:09):
these matters, you know. But Ithink that this is something
that you know as a, you know, asa female, you know you can speak
to better than me, isunderstanding, you know, dress
and the differences of howtrying to fit in versus being
self, and going back to yourcomments, but you know, being
(20:30):
your genuine, authentic self, Ithink I'd love to, I'm going to
try to get us to stick here fora moment. So since I just said a
lot, my first question is, thenabout just clothes, right? How
did you kind of understand howto leverage clothes to your
betterment compared to what yourprior understanding was?
(20:54):
Just paying attention, learninghow my clothes affects my mood,
whether that's color, fit, size,and then, you know, it comes
down to paying attention toyourself again and not comparing
yourself to others as that willonly rob you of your own joy and
(21:14):
uniqueness. So just celebratingyour own uniqueness in that
human experience of what do Iwant to wear today? How do I
want to feel?
So did you all of a sudden, likestart showing up with your
friends dressed differently thanwhat they would have been used
to seeing you in as well?
(21:36):
Gradually, yeah, little bit bylittle bit.
And how was that received?
I mean, it was noticeable. Itwasn't criticized.
Was it embraced? Were peoplelike, wow, it's great to see
you, you know, being moreyourself, or do they not? You
know, I guess that's what I'mtrying to get at.
(22:00):
I think it wasn't as deep asthat, as more of, wow, you're
dressing different. You know, assimple as that, it was more of
my own self knowledge.
Good, cool, all right. The, youknow, the where I was, the
reason I was going down thatpath, was just more about
because everyone you start tothink, well, the more I start to
more I start to expose more ofmy genuine, authentic self, I
(22:21):
open myself up to criticism,right? And there's very and so,
you know, and so based on, youknow, however, whatever you said
to yourself to make youcomfortable with that is, you
know, is, is what I was, iswhere the value was, and sharing
it with people. And so you cameat it again from a different
perspective than what I was,than where I was thinking about
it. And so again, the reason whyI enjoy your, you know, your
(22:45):
insights, you know, all thetime.
No, just like I explained, it'smore about, what am I - you
know, what energy do I want? Howdo I want to feel?
(23:12):
And so, do you feel so? But doyou feel it when, after you take
clothes off the rack. Do youfeel it after you try them on?
Right? Like that's, you know,I'm trying to help people
understand, establish, you know,kind of routines for themselves
as well, to figure out andengage into how they how they
themselves, and lean into thelead into the into the
(23:32):
connection between themselvesand the clothes, to see how
they're feeling.
Yeah, I mean all the above.Looking at your clothes, what am
I going to do today, what do Ineed to wear, how do I want to
feel, how does this outfit makeme feel, this color. How do I
want to come across?
So again. So the point is, look,there's thoughtfulness and
(23:53):
purposefulness behind when youjust, when you see, when you
start your day, and you'reputting on your clothes, right,
there's a significance here inwhat you're wearing. There's a
purposefulness. There's athoughtfulness that then sets up
so much of you being prepared,for the rest of your day. You
know, is that, is that kind of,I don't want to put words in
(24:15):
your mouth, but is that kind ofa fair assessment.
Yeah.
Look, I think that's important,right, because I think it's way
too easy to fall into the habitof, I only need 15 minutes. I
just got to wake up, you know,jump in and out of the shower,
grab something and to wear andrun out the door, right? And to
become very efficient. However,sometimes in that efficiency and
(24:38):
hurry up in the fast pace oflife, it's very easy to miss the
effectiveness, right, of whatwe're doing. And so, you know, a
lot of what you're talking aboutis tapping into that
effectiveness and purposefulnessand thoughtfulness and how that
then sets you up for the rest ofthe day. Like, and I know, like,
back when I was in, you know, inmy corporate world, I was, you
(25:00):
know, I definitely looked, youknow, each day my dress, I
viewed it as my, my armor forthe day. You know,
unfortunately, I viewed it asarmor versus something that had
a little bit more of a, youknow, a pleasant thing to it.
But anyway, that's where I wasat at that point in my life,
right? And so, anyway, and so Ithink that. And so I think it's
(25:22):
just important for people to tobe able to figure out how to, if
they, you know, to carve outsome time for themselves in the
morning to take, to have that,that kind of connection of where
am I at, how I want to feel forthe day? Am I putting this
surrounding myself with thestuff that's going to support me
to get there? Alright, now Ifeel ready to take on whatever's
(25:45):
coming.
It's also talking about beingprepared for the day and being
prepared for how things affectyou? One of the things that
you've also been bringing to myattention has been the
ingredients in food, yeah, andsometimes things that I would
never have thought of as, quote,unquote, not great for you.
(26:09):
They're not good for you. Youknow, because in some case, in
many cases, they're in, quote,products that are deemed as
healthy, right and and so if youwouldn't mind sharing, I think
this is also really important,because a lot of the our
listeners will, you know, havewill identify as either
sensitive to energy, sensitiveto foods, neurodivergent, you
(26:31):
know, and you know, and foodobviously plays a factor then
you know, and how the bodyreacts. And some of these
substances definitely affectemotions. So anyway, that being
said, you know, would you mindsharing, you know, a couple of
the common ones that peopleshould look out for, in their
ingredients to try to avoid, aswell as if applicable. What some
(26:55):
of the side effects can be sothat people can recognize, you
know, if you know, if, in fact,maybe they are having some of
these side effects, notrecognizing it.
Yeah, unfortunately, there'sprobably more than less than
what everyone's daily eatinghabits are. Like MSG, you know,
reading labels, making suremonosodium glutamate is not in
(27:18):
it. It's very damaging toneurons in the brain and memory.
Or sweeteners, anywhere fromaspartame, Sweet and Low to
anything that is, you know, theysay for diabetes, you know, no
sugar added, but that meansthere's something added to make
(27:39):
it sweet, and then the addictiveprocess that our brain and
bodies get to that sugar tasteso definitely reading labels and
then it can make you jittery ormake you irritable, or stomach
aches, headaches, the wholegamut of responses super low for
(28:03):
sure.
Is sucralose one of the issucralose, one of this
sweeteners, or one of theingredients that can contribute
to the list of symptoms you justmentioned?
Oh, yeah.
All right. And then I thinkanother one you've mentioned to
me is, is this, and this is theone that, this is one that
(28:25):
boggles my mind. I mean, I don'tknow what else to tell us to
react to it, but laugh. Naturalflavors.
Natural flavorings.
Natural flavorings. Okay, isthere a difference between
natural flavors and naturalflavoring?
Maybe we don't know. That's upto whoever put the label on the
(28:48):
package.
Okay, that's an okay, good.That's an important distinction.
And so in that, when it saysnatural flavoring, one would
think, Oh, natural flavoring.That means it's got to be good
for me, better than a chem lab.
We don't know what that naturalflavoring is. So it doesn't
really tell you what it is.
(29:09):
Okay, what is it about naturalflavoring that makes it harmful?
And if it's harmful, why is itin some of our food still? Or is
this one of those things that,yeah, it's in our food, but the
FDA is also, like, you know, gotit under review, and saying,
Hey, we probably shouldn't bedoing this anymore. Kind of
like, I. You know, oh my gosh.The other ones you made me
thought, I think it was a yellownumber five. That's another one.
(29:29):
Well any dyes are toxic. Soanything dyes, we don't need dye
in our body.
So talk about, you talked aboutthe toxicity, or the
neurotoxicity of some of these.
Yeah, it just can be toxic toyour brain health, so simple as
(29:51):
it affects memory andAlzheimer's and dementia. So if
it we don't know what it is,probably shouldn't be ingesting
it. So if you read something andyou don't know what it is on a
label then, it's a sure tellsign not to take it.
And you and I have had thisconversation many times. And
(30:13):
this is, this is a realchallenge in life, both in just
living a healthy life, living,well, just living a healthy
life, right? Is that is the is,how expensive it is. To quote,
unquote, eat healthy. Because,you know, the stuff that's got
all these other ingredients sureseems to be, I have a lot be a
lot more affordable.
(30:36):
Correct.
And so that's like a and so, youknow, I know, and I'm not saying
that you or you or I havefigured this out, because I
think that, as we've talkedabout various skills, you know,
the ability to grocery shopappropriately is, isn't
necessarily, you know, ourhighest one so, but like, what
(30:57):
can we so, is there any advice,though, to help people that are
like, hey Man, when I gottafigure out between starving
versus you know, out some not sogreat stuff in my body, how do I
help to navigate those waters?Any feedback or any thoughts on
that?
Just reading labels. The morenatural something is, the
(31:19):
better. So if you don't have tostarve yourself, it's just more
of reading labels and stayingaway from preservatives and
boxed and canned itemstypically. So walking in a
grocery store around the outsideversus the inside is one general
rule of thumb.
(31:41):
And you did bring and it's agood point I want to expand on
on it, which was the reading ofthe labels. It's not just the
reading of the labels tounderstand what are some of the
ingredients that we're trying toavoid, but it's also recognizing
reading the labels. Becausesometimes you can be surprised
at how you may not think that abrand has decent ingredients,
(32:01):
but it does and is alsoaffordable, right, you know? And
so, you know, I think, you know,it's something very small, and I
know it's not great to beginwith, but compared to the
options, and they're beingseasonal, right? Like I was all
excited to find by a brand name,you know, a caramel dip for
apples, right? Because I,because of our conversations, I
would no longer purchase thecaramel apples a year in the
(32:22):
fall time, which I enjoy doing.I feel like it's kind of
festive. So, right? So I enjoy,you know, having a caramel apple
or two. But in order to get themto safe on the shelves, they
contain all kinds of stuff thatyou share with me that you know,
I won't put my body anymore. SoI was all bummed out, but then,
yeah, me, but because I spentthe time to read labels, I was
able to find, you know, analternative that didn't contain
that stuff. Instead, I couldenjoy my apple and have some
(32:45):
caramel apples and, you know,and it was affordable. So it was
a nice middle ground. So I justwant also kind of, so I just
wanted to point that out thatit's not just about, you know,
reading labels to excludethings, but recognizing how that
will also, you know, add toinclusivity as well.
And so I know that I've talkedabout learning and the
importance of you know, and findthe importance of of learning
(33:09):
through animals, right? Ipersonally have used you know
squirrels as an example. But Iknow that you also have, you
know, a friend near and dear toyour heart, Sophia, who is, you
know, we've talked about beinga, you know, a little bundle of
wisdom. And I think this is,this is important, because when
(33:31):
I've talked about interactingwith with squirrels and nature
and animals, it's been aboutkind of me tapping in
information via their theircollective consciousnesses. But
your communication with Sophiaand learning with Sophia has
been one on a more one to onebasis, which has been able to
enrich the relationship and, youknow, communication between you
(33:52):
two. But also, and this is apart that I want to really point
out too, is that, as as you've,you know, challenged Sophia to
learn, right, she continues tocomprehend and to learn more,
and then and and so, you know,just supporting, you know, my
(34:13):
other the other point, I'm doinga shameless plug right now,
because I know how smart Sophiais, right, that animals the
wild, while the intelligence isdifferent animals possess, are
wildly intelligent, and candemonstrate that to us, if we
just give them the opportunity.So anyway, you know, I'm over,
(34:34):
I'm over talking here and notallowing you a chance to talk
about little, little preciousSophia. And so I didn't grow up
with dogs right in the same waysthat you did, and so I'm not
able to articulate and to giveSophia credit for some of the
ways that you noticed, you know,that she was, that she was, that
(34:54):
she displayed some intelligencedifferently than somebody and
some of the other dogs, and thenhow you've been able to kind of
create your own language to talkwith her, and, you know, and
then I'm sure people at homewould want to try to figure out
how to, you know, do some ofthat for themselves. So let me,
let me, you know, ask you howyou know? How did you know? How
is Sophia different than some ofthe dogs you've had in the past?
(35:17):
She's much more in tune with me,probably because we're together
all the time, whereas, you know,growing up, I was with farm
animals, so they were mostlyoutside, inside. But we, you
know, have learned basically andappreciated each other's
(35:38):
routines and listening to herand paying attention to her, you
know, different barks, herdifferent mannerisms of what she
does, and then learning whatthat means. So it's basically
just paying attention.
(35:59):
So could you give some examplesof how would you like? What are
some of the things that waysthat she talks to you?
I mean, like I just said herdifferent barks. So whether she
wants I know she has to gopotty. I know if she's hungry. I
know if it's I want outside. Iknow if it's I want to play.
(36:22):
That's a lot from a bark.
Yeah.
So how did you So, how did youfigure out, by paying attention,
that that translated to thosethings?
By paying attention, bylistening. It's as simple as
(36:47):
that, if you don't, then you'rejust assuming and telling them
to stop barking.
True. So, but so at some point,though you right, you there's
like, but yeah, at some pointyou learn when this bark meant,
hey, I want to go outside, or,you know, versus I want to
treat, right? And so that'd belike, because you gave her,
because you went to give her atreat, and, you know, yet she
(37:09):
still is barking. So yourecognize that wasn't it, right?
Like, that's kind of what I'mtrying to I'm trying to get a
little granular here.
Well, she wants to go outside.She'll go to the door. What are
her man? You're, you know, whatis she doing in conjunction with
that bark?
Got it. And so what is Yeah, andso she's, and so she's, she
points at things, right? That'sone of the ways that I noticed
(37:31):
that you that you guys havelearned to communicate with each
other.
Yes, she will look at it.
Yeah, she'll bark and then golook at things
Yeah.
And so, like, you've and sothat's, that's that. And so
that's kind of had some funstories with, you know, having
(37:51):
friends over, and they're like,what's your dog doing?
Yeah, she's talking to you.
And so, yeah, I remember yoursaying, like you said, they said
your dog's barking at me. And Ithink, what was your reaction?
What was your reaction back tothem?
Because she's want something,she's talking to you. So it's
(38:11):
usually she wants something.
And then I think you said, isshe, is she looking or pointing
somewhere? And they're like,yeah, she keeps looking at the
cupboard. And you're like, oh,yeah, that means she wants a
treat.
Yeah.
And like, into me, right? Like,I was like, you know, that's,
this is just kind of what I'vebecome used to her. And so when
(38:31):
I hear those, you know, I justkind of take that for granted,
you guys have your language andI don't know, maybe everyone in
the dogs are like that, right? Idon't know, but you know, those,
those, obviously, thosereactions from your friends are
like, yeah, no, normally, youknow they're dogs are not as
proactive of communicators aslittle Sophia tends to be. She
tends to be a very proactivecommunicator. And so for those
(38:59):
that are trying to figurebecause you you've also created
a safe space for her to learn,and one of the things that she
taught me and the learningprocess was, was, I mean, it
took me forever, besides justreally understanding love was
also understanding the power ofpositive reinforcement, and
(39:27):
because that was something Inever really experienced. And
you know, neither of ourlearning styles are for the
faint of heart, and Sophia tendsto have that same she's going to
learn it her way, as the two, asthe two of us. So how did you
but, but as you allow her learnher way, right, she's demo,
(39:48):
she's she's grown into her own.And so how would you advise
other you know, pet owners, dogowners to kind of tap into and
help them to unlock their dog'spersonality or communication and
enrich that relationship. Wouldyou have any suggestions?
Yeah, pay attention, listen,watch them, just like the dog
(40:12):
watches you and learns yourbehaviors. That's the only way
you learn theirs.
Speaking of learning styles,right? And talk about, you know,
neither are, neither of ourlearning styles are for the
faint of heart. You know, we'vetalked about like, but wow, you
know, on one hand, boy, be niceto not have to, you know, learn
(40:35):
in such painful lessonssometimes. On the other hand,
acknowledge that, well, it's wehad to work it through so many
different ways, and, you know,until we figured it out right,
and as a result of that, right,wo we don't really talk about,
you know, could, could we havelearned we going back in life.
Could we have learned things andyou know, any differently than
the path that we, that we, thatwe took or not took, and you
(40:58):
know, and again, I'm not, andI'm not asking you to speak for
women or anything like that,just asking you to speak for
you, right? One of the thingsthat we've talked about it too,
is like the different ... theway that women have been trained
or conditioned to fit into acertain role, in conforming in
society, versus understandingtheir individualized self with
(41:20):
their individualized goals andthings like that. You know, is
there any advice that, knowingwhat you know now, right, that
you would go back and give toyour little self to help you,
you know, kind of tap intothings, you know, early, at a
younger age. And I say thingsjust meaning like, you know,
(41:42):
getting comfortable in your ownskin, knowledge, wisdom, or do
you like, hey, think everythingkind of happened as it needs to.
And no, I wouldn't, you know, Iwouldn't necessarily go back and
give my, my little self, anyadvice.
No, because everything unfoldsin the divine order it's
supposed to. That would changethe trajectory of everything.
(42:05):
When were you able to adapt thatperspective of, yeah, look,
things happen as as they weresupposed to. And like genuinely
means willing to say it right,but I know that you literally
live it, right? So was thatsomething you're always that
way, or is that somewhere alongthe way, it just kind of it
happened.
I think it's just the journey ofauthenticity and growth and
(42:26):
having love and compassion foryourself and change and making
mistakes, and sometimes we haveto redo something over and over
until it grabs holds of us andwe learn from it. That's part of
self discovery and selffulfillment.
Yeah, that's that's an importantpart, right? Which would you
(42:47):
just talked about, which is, wegot to get to know ourselves.
And there's, and there seems tobe a, you know, a weaponization
of the learning process that'shappened. Meaning, where people
say, Well, I tried. I told youyou shouldn't have done that, or
you shouldn't do that, or if youjust listen to me. And and in
doing so, the, you know, whilethe intentions are good, the
(43:09):
unintended consequence then ispeople don't people learn how to
stop thinking for themselves asthey just do what everybody
tells them to do, right?
Shoulds. Like you could shouldyourself all day long.
So there's another thing that,this is another thing that we've
talked about, and I don't thinkit's talked about enough, which
is nourishing the soul, so tospeak, right? And you know,
(43:33):
Johnny, who is a podcast guestand right, he talks about
movement. For him, that's a partof it, right? And with you
movement, you know, like, Ithink, you start to understand
how dance was something, and howthat affects you, and the
importance of being able to havesomething like that in, you
know, in your life as well. Andso I guess you know, how have
(43:55):
you come to, how have you bettercome to understand and
recognize, you know when you youknow when you need that, when
you need a little bit of thatextra nourishment, and then, and
then giving it to yourself.
Just paying attention again toyourself and how it affects you.
(44:17):
It's in the stillness and thequiet of those moments where you
really get to know your trueself versus the chaos of life.
So taking those moments, it onlytakes 90 seconds to process an
emotion, so taking that time toacknowledge your emotion and
where it came from.
(44:38):
So have you so you've talked alot about, you know, taking the
time to watch or to payattention and to process but
look, you've been going toschool, getting a doctorate
degree, so you're obviouslyspending a lot of time doing as
well, right? And so how do youhow do you balance the you know,
the observation and the doing.
(44:59):
Just learn. You just do it. Youjust again, another experiment
of what works for you.
Okay, and so is that somethingthat was always that way or was
it, or was that one of thosethings that's kind of evolved?
(45:20):
I think part of it is bothanswers, so part of it is
ingrained in each of us, andthen part of it we learn what
works for us as we become olderand wiser and more receptive to
listening to our emotions versuspushing them in.
The underlying theme of alsowhat you're saying is, look, you
(45:41):
need to understand yourself. Ifyou want to be able to take it
requires taking a lot ofinformation and being able to
process it without gettingsidetracked all the time too. Is
there a fair.
Right, that doesn't take a lotof time. It really doesn't. It's
90 seconds to process anemotion. But most people don't
acknowledge when that emotion isthere.
(46:04):
And so let's talk about thatprocessing of emotion. And I'm
going to go and just, you know,one of the things that you know
we've talked about like healing,and, you know, I'm not going to
go down any specifics here, butone of the things that we've
talked about is, you know, howunderstanding the science of you
helps healing in a way thatcertain traditional therapy, or
(46:30):
things like that, doesn't alwaysnecessarily go. Or I don't want
to say what is or is nothealing, but I will say that
there are different ways to togo through healing that can be
less traumatic than others.That's what I'll say, right? And
I think that in order to beable, and if someone's going to
do deep self work, you're goingto dive deep into trauma. And,
(46:52):
you know, we don't, we'd allagree that that process doesn't
need to be any more difficultthan what it has to be or, you
know, in reliving things.Processing of that emotion. And
one of the things that you know,I know that you've come to learn
in that processing is alsorecognizing how, when we're not
that genuine and authentic selfand how some of that kind of
(47:15):
wears on us until we until werecognize some of those emotions
or lies that we've toldourselves that are associated
with that. And so I think thatthat's another part of listening
and recognizing stuff. I wouldask, you know, is there a is
there a better way that youknow, you would that you could
better words that you could usein the way that I fumbled
through it to describe thattruly healing and letting,
(47:42):
getting, letting go of stuff,right by just understanding the,
you know, hey, this is a lietold myself when someone pops up
again, you you know, put itthrough new lens, and it's able
to be, you know, dealt withdifferently.
Yeah, just, I guessacknowledging, if it's something
still triggers you, you haven'tdealt with it. That trauma, so
(48:06):
acknowledging what is triggeringyou and why, and then dealing
with that so you can moveforward.
And so when you say dealing withthat, that'd be like, because
this is what I'm trying to getat here, right, is that in a lot
of cases, there's like this,this deep reliving of things
that I think a lot of peoplefeel is necessary to go through,
that you and I's experiences ofdealing with things is not
(48:28):
necessarily that case, right?And so I want to, I want to, you
know, share with people,especially those that have been
trying to let go of letting youknow historical traumas affect
them anymore, and maybe you knowsome of the methods they've been
trying haven't been able to be,haven't necessarily worked for
them, right, to be able to getrid of it, even though they kind
(48:50):
of did the stuff that, hey,they're like, hey, you know, I
did the checkbooks, I did the Idid the workbooks. Why isn't it
working? And so what were someof the things that you did along
your journey, that you foundthat helped you, that worked for
you, that were differently,maybe than, than what then, what
was then, what's kind of, what'staught that people can use to
(49:12):
better identify, you know, andlet like and like, all those
things inhibiting them.
I guess usually the answer iswithin yourself. So identifying
why it's triggering you, and ifit still is, and what's the
story you're telling yourself.This is where our mind will tell
ourselves a story, and sousually it's based on what's
(49:34):
happened to us in the past. Soreframing that story with the
truth.
And that's that part that thencan be challenging, and that
sometimes facing that truth, youknow, I guess that's part of
that journey that everyone's gotto figure out for themselves,
(49:54):
whether they want to, yeah. So,based on the type of person you
are today, not the type I don'tknow, just who you are today
around versus who you werebefore you, you know, a few
years ago before you kind ofstarted your more intense
journey. Do you feel like it foryou personally, was it worth it
(50:15):
for you to to do that toughstuff?
Oh, yeah, otherwise, you'll keepreliving it.
So you found relief.
Yeah, you have to let go of whoyou think you should be, because
then your true self can shinethrough.
(50:38):
Let me guess, finding your trueself comes from paying
attention.
Yep.
It took a little bit, but I'mstarting to notice an underlying
theme of paying attention andobserving. And so, how do you
(51:03):
again? I know your schedule. Iknow how busy you are, so high.
I know you said it only takes 90seconds to process an emotion.
But, you know, look, takinginformation, processing things,
people, situations, that stuffdoesn't all just take 90
seconds, right? And so, youknow, how have you figured out
how to skinny that down to justthe stuff that matters from so
(51:24):
many from so much informationaround you, to then be able to
make decisions with?
Those quiet moments, you have tohave stillness. You can't have
your TV on, you're reading abook, you can't, you just have
to have quiet moments. So that'swhere that meditative time comes
in play. And so are you really along time.
(51:48):
Sorry to interrupt you there. Sois setting boundaries, you know,
in terms of, you know, to giveyourself that time something
then that you've also then, isan important part of your days
routines?
Oh, yeah. Definitely, or youwouldn't get anything done if
(52:09):
you didn't have boundaries.
And then the last thing that Ialso want to, that I want to
kind of touch on here, is we,you know, we talked about how
the circa, you know, I'vementioned, like circumstances or
surroundings, but really, one ofthe easy ways to think about is
like, you can't just, for manypeople, there's only just so
much you can do in your officespace. But your home space, and
(52:30):
I think this is one of thethings that I've noticed you
having also a much greater, youknow, you're starting to unlock,
you know, an understanding of ishow to make your space conducive
to yourself or the energies. Howwould you kind of describe, I
don't want to, how would youdescribe the importance of that,
(52:50):
and how you've come tounderstand the importance of
that?
I mean, I think it just goesback to long back the feng shui
of why people set up homes theway they do, why colors affect
us, why arrangement affects us,so.
(53:10):
And so did you end up changingSo as you've gone through is
some of your transformation, andwe talked about, you know, some
of your clothes style changing.Did some of your decorating
style or the way that you youknow created the surroundings
of your where you live, did thatalso then change?
Yeah, because we as I've learnedto pay attention to how things
(53:31):
affect me. So whether that's acolor or artwork or piece of
furniture that I don't like tosit in - that affects your mood.
So, if somebody was like, wow, Iagree this is great. I obviously
(53:52):
recognize Jamie, the Dr. Jamiethe value in having the time for
reflection like this. How, wheredo I start? Do I start with my
relationships? Do I start mypersonal self? Do I start with
my professional self? Do I startwith my pet right? Do you have
any suggestions for helpingsomebody to figure out how to
(54:13):
get started without feeling, youknow, so they don't feel so
overwhelmed, because it's a lotof work, what we're talking
about here, but it doesn't,doesn't have but it should not
feel overwhelming.
No, it's not really a lot ofwork. It's just, it's literally
as simple as pay attention toone thing at a time and it'll
come up for you. If it doesn't,it's not bothering you, and
(54:35):
those things will change.
I know you stepped away here tobe able to have this
conversation today. So again, asI really appreciate, I want to
give you, you know, as we kindof wrap up here, is there any
(54:56):
advice that you would want togive to the audience, or in
words of encouragement. Youknow, as we wrap up?
I think again, just not, playinginto the I should be this.
Should be that, but let yourtrue essence of yourself shine
(55:17):
through by letting go of that.
And what would you say topeople, if they're like, Well,
is it worth putting in it? Whatwould you say to what
encouragement? Words ofencouragement would you say to
people is to say, Hey, this iswhat's on the other side of
that. And so this is why it'syou know, it's worth doing.
(55:42):
You can learn to become moregrateful of every moment and
person. Because we each ofsomething to teach each other.
I think anybody you know is, ifyou're leading a life of
gratitude, you know, you're, youtend to be, you tend to also
then be leading a, you know, apretty happy and fulfilling,
(56:03):
meaningful life as well.
Yeah.
So all right. Well, thank you,Dr. Harms, for, you know,
providing the deep I know thatyou know. You may have, you may
(56:23):
have not given paragraphs ofwords, but the information that
you provided was relatable,simple to understand and
actionable, right? And which,which, which is really important
to helping my listeners, whichis to learn how to get
comfortable in their own skinand think for themselves, right?
(56:47):
I mean, if we want to createchange in the world, it starts
with it starts with healthypeople that feel confident in
their own skin and learn how tothink for themselves. I think
you'd agree.
Yep, deeper.
Yep. So I thank you for helpingto contribute to that and
listeners, I hope that youenjoyed today's conversation as
(57:09):
well, and that you have yourselfa great, awesome and productive
week. Take care.
All right, welcome to one of oursecond to last episodes of this
(00:03):
season one Understanding theScience of You and I am joined
by the one and only Dr, JamieHarms. And I've been, I don't
know, bugging is probably anappropriate word to be able to
get her on onto the show herefor a bit, but she's been tied
up with a busy schedule andeverything. So I'm extremely
appreciative of her being ableto make time here to to join us.
(00:26):
And one of the reasons withamong many that I that I always
enjoy talking with Jamie, andI'm really excited to share
Jamie's, thoughts andperspectives, is because she
always brings us somethingdifferent. A very contrasting
perspective or experience than,you know, than the one that I've
had. So I always pick up things,you know, in our conversations.
(00:47):
And so I know today is going tobe a real doozy, and in a real
treat here for everyonelistening. So, you know, how
would I, how do I want to getthis started? There's so many,
there are so many ways that Icould describe you, and all of
which seems like I'd feel likeI'd be shortchanging you. So
what I will open with is just tosay one, and when I talk about
(01:09):
the differences, you know, Ihave a pretty, you know, I could
consider myself having a prettystrong and you know faith and
belief, and you know in myselfand who I am and my purpose and
things of that nature and andbeing supported by the universe.
And I know, and I and I alwayssay that you know that courage
and belief allows me to have theconfidence to to fight a lion.
(01:32):
But Jamie's faith and belief isalways allowed, allows her to
have the courage to just walkpast the lion. And I think that
those differences really kind ofsummarize, at least, you know,
for me, I'm not putting I'm notspeaking for you, but for me, in
the way that I've kind of seensome of some of our differences,
that's just one of the things onthat that's such a stark
(01:55):
contrast. You know, in realityis that it's that I've always
found it quite interesting,quite frankly, fascinating,
right? Because it is sodifferent. And so I also know
that you're also very private,and so I appreciate you allowing
us to have a little peek behindthe curtain here today. So let's
just help to, you know, make youa little bit more relatable to
(02:17):
the listeners. You know, kind ofjust a little bit like, how did
you grow up? Did you grow up inthe middle of the burbs, you
know, you know, what was kindof, what was a little bit of
your backstory?
I grew up in rural Minnesota ona farm.
(02:37):
Okay, rural Minnesota on a farm.So, when you and, so, you know,
when you say, a farm, does that,does that, does that mean, like,
Hey, you had a couple of horsesand pigs. And people think,
like, Oh, I got some animalsoutside of farm. Are you talking
like, Hey, I might necessarilysee neighbors, and I'm on like,
hundreds of acres, and this is,like, a working, you know,
commercial farm.
(02:58):
Yes, all of the above, workingfarm, and we have hundreds of
acres, and we had hogs andhorses, so, yes, real life farm.
All right. And so. And you livethere through your high school
years, right? And then, if thenthroughout your way, you found
(03:22):
your way to Chicago. I knowthere's some steps along the
way, but without making youbacktrack your entire resume,
right, so then you get yourselfto Chicago. And Chicago, right,
is then isn't a pretty bigdifference from growing up on a
farm, from what you've told me,correct?
Yes
(03:50):
From one of the things that'sthat, you know, people have been
paying attention is the the vastexperiences and exposure that
all of the guests have had inlife, right? And so that's why I
want to do this. Because I thinkwhen people are able to operate
from from two separate placeslike that, they can, they bring
(04:12):
varying perspectives, andintelligence to conversations.
So anyway, so that's just whereI'm just, you know, trying to
already set the stage for how inso many ways you already cover
such a wide spectrum ofexperiences there and so. And so
then from there in Chicago, youfind yourself going down the
(04:35):
professional career path ofphysical therapy. And I know
you're not going to toot yourown horn, so I'm going to do a
little toot, toot for youwithout naming any names. But
you know, because of yours, tellme if I'm wrong, by the way, so
I'm not putting words in yourmouth, but based on your
(04:56):
treatment of of patients,skills, abilities, healing
methods, whatever you want towhatever you want to, whatever
you want to call it, you earned,you know, a high end, I'm not
gonna say high end in terms of,well, I know high end client
tower you had, you had both highend net with individuals as well
as professional sports teams orathletes that you worked with.
(05:22):
And so, you know, you're talkingabout a very small percentage of
people that are able to achievethe levels, you know, in success
like that. So I know you're notgoing to toot your horn, but is
anything that I've saidincorrect?
No.
That's one of the things thatis, you know, again, I always
(05:43):
appreciate you, about you, andthis is why you earned a lot the
opportunities that you did, isbecause you really don't, you
know, like, who somebody issecondary to how they are,
right, or to what they're, youknow, kind of, what they're made
of, and so. And so, then you've,you know, you went from that,
took a step back now, thenyou've went and got your
(06:03):
doctorate in physical therapy.Hence, the Dr. Jamie Harms. In
addition to that, you're alsoabout to then earn your second
doctorate, right? Doctor ofChiropractic, your upcoming is
that also accurate?
Yeah.
All right. So you have a dualdoctorate for yourself. And you
(06:24):
know, and like, I think that thereason why that's also it's the
duality of your doctorates isare also interesting, because
typically, physical therapy andchiropractic are at odds with
each other, and so it takessomebody who's able to really
focus on, how do I be the besthealer and helper to people, to
be able to embrace, you know,and remain open to the various
(06:48):
healing methodologies. And so,you know, would you mind sharing
a little bit about how you wereable to bridge from you know,
having one mindset to, you know,embracing you know, what many
would consider as conflicting,and you see him as more
completing.
Yeah, I think it just goes downto keeping an open mind and not
(07:08):
being closed minded off to otherprofessionals. And that I don't
know it all and together, we canbe a stronger team than
separately.
And so, but like, and so, howdoes like, the understanding
like, I think we would, youknow, we've had various
conversations, and it's easy fordoctors to get caught up into
(07:31):
their specific methodology asthe one that, you know what I
mean, the way, the record oftruth, things of that nature,
right? But look, you know,there's a certain like you've
acknowledged, there's certainthings that you've not, that you
recognize, that you can do intreating people via
chiropractic, that you can'twith physical therapy and vice
versa, right?
(07:52):
Yeah.
Is that right? Yeah, right. Andso, you know, and I guess in
that type of a mindset, have youalways been open to that? Or
have you, you know, to beingremaining ... your whole life
or, okay, so that's go ahead.
(08:15):
No, yes, that's just keeping anopen mind. Most people are close
minded to their own professionsas being the one and only so
just keeping an open mind andletting go of your own ego.
So are you excited about I knowyou're getting ready to graduate
(08:36):
here, so you're getting ready toget excited to be able to put
both of those healing modalitiestogether and into work and into
play.
Yeah.
And then there's a third onehere that we that I want to lean
into, and I don't know how tohow would you kind of describe
your beyond the traditional fivesenses? What you bring to the
(09:00):
healing, right? Like, how do youuse your intuitiveness to, you
know, to be the best healingpractitioner?
Listening.
There's listening, but you'vealso shared with me that you
can, like sense where there'scertain like aches in the body
or things like that, and that'skind of the path I'm looking to
go down.
Oh yeah, it's just a gift I'vehad with my hands. So ever since
(09:23):
I started.
So to walk us through this giftwith your hands, I think a lot
of people, A, find is veryfascinating, and B, find it very
cool. And then can alsorecognize how valuable this is
to for, you know, health carepractitioner to have this. So
what does it mean by, what doyou mean by you get extra
information through your hands?
(09:43):
I just can feel what's beneathmy hands, where some people
don't have that degree ofsensation or feeling. So that's
sort of literally all it comesdown to.
And so I will go, so let's gosay in a physical therapy
setting, how does that help youto get additional information
besides, let's say what you weretaught be, you know, textbooks
(10:06):
and how to understand and feel?
You can feel what's wrong, soit's an extra information. So
the more information you have,the more you can help a person.
And I think that's a that's athat's a really important point,
and that's going to come up in alot of different and throughout
the rest of our conversation. SoI want to move on here. Your
(10:28):
experience and exposure in lifeis so broad and so vast that,
No. 1, I don't know that I'mever going to I would never if I
ever get you to actually evertalk about it here on a podcast.
But you know, needless to sayit, I guess, as you just heard,
keeping an open mind, havingthat a vast experiences, all
(10:51):
only leads down to moreinformation to make the best
decisions available, helpingself, helping others. anyway, so
as and so as you've kind of, youknow, like a lot of the
listeners myself, you've been onyour own personal journey here,
you know, over the last fewyears. I mean, obviously
lifetime, but things have kindof, you know, picked up in
intensity, we'll say, over thelast few years, and things have
(11:14):
been super busy, right? I hadthe luxury of going through a
lot of my my transformations andchanges, being able to, you
know, be a hermit and isolated.You've had to do it, you know,
going to school and being in thepublic and other things like
that, which makes it morechallenging. And so, one of the
(11:35):
things that I've also talkedabout in this podcast has been
taking the old, you know, takingthe new self into old places and
things, and seeing how thatgoes. And so a lot of and so a
lot of the guests have, youknow, have been open in sharing
right to help people feel morecomfortable, to overcome any
concerns or fears that they haveof, you know, starting to show
(11:55):
their new selves, and so, youknow, generally speaking, you
know, how have your friends oryour, you know, received the
new, the new you, or however youwant to kind of describe, you
know, describe that.
How have they received me?
Yeah. Have they been supportive?Are they like, Oh, my God,
(12:20):
you're weird. What's going onwith you? We love the Oh, like,
this is great to see the youknow, this or you know, like,
how are they? Are they seeingyou or describing you
differently?
Just, yeah, I guess, justdifferent. You know, more
outspoken, more assertive. Ithink as everyone gets wiser,
(12:41):
those are the qualities that gowith that personality trait.
You just mentioned the wordsoutspoken and assertive. And I
want to start, I want to pausethere for a moment, because I
think those are really, reallyimportant, because we we've
already talked about how the thedepth of experiences and
exposure in life and successes,right, and things that you've
accomplished, and yet, here youare still acknowledging, hey,
(13:04):
there's more to go. There'sstill more to grow and more to
get better. And, you know,becoming more confident, you
know, and comfortable in self tobecome more outspoken and
assertive, I think that reallyspeaks to one of the underlying
themes that's also been, beenhoping that people are picking
up on, which is, you know, this,this, this thing we're calling
(13:25):
living in life. It's a learning.It's whole journey of learning,
right? It's not about, hey, howto figure it out and then set
it, forget it, and stop going.And so I just wanted to point
that out, that even aftereverything that you've
accomplished in life, you stillremain open, still have an open
mind, still focus on personalgrowth, not just professional
growth. And you know, andthere's not a lot of people that
are that are willing to do that,so I just want to compliment you
(13:46):
on that. And so we were talkingthe other day, and you, and you
see, you said a couple ofthings, and that was like, yes,
exactly yes. Yes, you're gettingit, you're getting it, you're
getting it. And and one ofthose, and one of those was, you
(14:13):
mentioned something along thelines of having a better
understanding of how not beingyour genuine or authentic self
truly affects you. Would youmind, kind of reiterate, you
know, sharing, you know, whatyour observation or learning was
about that?
Yeah, if you are, you know deepdown not wanting to do something
(14:33):
you, you know, are forcingyourself to do, and not being
authentic to your own desires,then it creates an internal
turmoil, and, essentially,unhappiness.
So sometimes and so, like, howdoes that, how does that kind of
then manifest itself in waysthat you maybe weren't even
(14:56):
aware of throughout your healingprocess?
Well, the internal turmoil canbe anything from a headache to a
stomach ache to agitation tolack of sleep. I mean, there's a
whole gamut of reactions thatyour body will manifest when
you're not so you're saying whatyour intention is.
(15:19):
I was just going to do ashameless plug here and say so
you're saying that, you know,based on the news rattled off,
it's really important then forsomebody to Understand the
Science of themselves, so theyunderstand how to recognize when
they're about, when their body'stalking to them and what it's
saying.
Yeah, the body will always tellyou.
And so, so let's so let's talkabout that a little bit, right?
(15:42):
We'll talk about the body I wastelling you. Then that kind of
leans into the other commentthat you made about improving
the quality of life by, byadjusting your expectation to
that of going in each going intosituations from with, Hey, I'm
here to learn, and having anopen mind and curiosity versus,
(16:03):
you know, maybe a specificexpectation. The way you said it
was, you know, was also betterthan I'm saying it right now.
Yeah, it just simplifies everyinteraction. If you're not going
into it wanting to feel betteror with your ego in mind, but
rather, as gaining informationabout the other person and how
(16:26):
they react to respond, it justtells you more about them.
And that goes back to anotherpoint that you said earlier,
which is listening, right? Beingable to listen in the
conversations. And I think we,you know, and that, in itself,
really is an important skill,because everything you just
(16:48):
talked about can't be done ifyou're the one doing all the
talking in a conversation.
Correct.
And so that also, then you know,and so then that also brings
into you know, understanding andrecognizing. You've also started
(17:10):
to recognize how your differentinteractions, you know, adjust,
you know, affect your energiesdifferently. And so, yeah, so
it's so share a little bit soshare a little bit more about
kind of how you've through, youknow, through the, you know,
understanding the science of youright, through, like, you know,
you're both people, environmentand clothes, right? Kind of like
(17:34):
what your thought, what youroutlook was on those things
before, now that you recognizehow they affect you and then how
you handle them differently. Ithink there's a lot of value in
helping people to, you know,understand and bridge that,
starting and ending.
Yes, it's creating an awarenessof how you respond to everyone
(17:57):
and everything, and listening toyour body and your emotions in
terms of how it's affecting you,and then making decisions moving
forward based on that.
And so like, let's just say,well, you will. Will you go into
a couple examples here. Therethey're pretty common in
(18:19):
everyday life for people. Oneis, you know, getting together
with getting together withacquaintances, personal,
professional, whatever it mightbe, right? So do you talk about,
like, feelings or emotions, orunderstanding how things
affecting you? What are some ofthe what's kind of like, your
kind of self checklist, walkingaway from those things to to
understand them, to understandhow those things were affecting
or how that situation affectedyou
(18:41):
Yeah, just, how are you feeling?Did I give you stomachache?
How's your energy? How's yourattitude? Are they draining? Are
they uplifting? Do you feelbetter? Do you feel drained? So
it's just a self check in. Howdoes this person affect me?
Which again, goes to, again,continue to do demonstrate, when
(19:04):
I was mentioning earlier aboutthings, it's never a life in
learning is not a set it andforget it, right? It's
constantly being able to learnhow to take in as much
information as possible. And sothose answers to all the
questions that you said, aregoing to vary in each
interaction, right? So you'vegot to be able to keep an open
mind and listen, to be able tounderstand, each situation and
(19:28):
person differently. And there'sanother interesting one that I
know, that I feel like based onour conversations, played a
played a big factor in yourlife, which was, you know, big
factor, like, what I mean, like,you know, definitely, you know,
helped in the help the happinessfactor, which was understanding
clothes.
(19:48):
Yeah.
Yeah, and how clothes affectedyou, and then how that, how that
altered how you would dressbefore, versus dress now. And I
think that's a very look. Ithink this is a very, very real
topic that's really, reallyimportant. I'm not looking I
think we I'm a guy. I'm not theone who's who to be speaking on
(20:09):
these matters, you know. But Ithink that this is something
that you know as a, you know, asa female, you know you can speak
to better than me, isunderstanding, you know, dress
and the differences of howtrying to fit in versus being
self, and going back to yourcomments, but you know, being
(20:30):
your genuine, authentic self, Ithink I'd love to, I'm going to
try to get us to stick here fora moment. So since I just said a
lot, my first question is, thenabout just clothes, right? How
did you kind of understand howto leverage clothes to your
betterment compared to what yourprior understanding was?
(20:54):
Just paying attention, learninghow my clothes affects my mood,
whether that's color, fit, size,and then, you know, it comes
down to paying attention toyourself again and not comparing
yourself to others as that willonly rob you of your own joy and
(21:14):
uniqueness. So just celebratingyour own uniqueness in that
human experience of what do Iwant to wear today? How do I
want to feel?
So did you all of a sudden, likestart showing up with your
friends dressed differently thanwhat they would have been used
to seeing you in as well?
(21:36):
Gradually, yeah, little bit bylittle bit.
And how was that received?
I mean, it was noticeable. Itwasn't criticized.
Was it embraced? Were peoplelike, wow, it's great to see
you, you know, being moreyourself, or do they not? You
know, I guess that's what I'mtrying to get at.
(22:00):
I think it wasn't as deep asthat, as more of, wow, you're
dressing different. You know, assimple as that, it was more of
my own self knowledge.
Good, cool, all right. The, youknow, the where I was, the
reason I was going down thatpath, was just more about
because everyone you start tothink, well, the more I start to
more I start to expose more ofmy genuine, authentic self, I
(22:21):
open myself up to criticism,right? And there's very and so,
you know, and so based on, youknow, however, whatever you said
to yourself to make youcomfortable with that is, you
know, is, is what I was, iswhere the value was, and sharing
it with people. And so you cameat it again from a different
perspective than what I was,than where I was thinking about
it. And so again, the reason whyI enjoy your, you know, your
(22:45):
insights, you know, all thetime.
No, just like I explained, it'smore about, what am I - you
know, what energy do I want? Howdo I want to feel?
(23:12):
And so, do you feel so? But doyou feel it when, after you take
clothes off the rack. Do youfeel it after you try them on?
Right? Like that's, you know,I'm trying to help people
understand, establish, you know,kind of routines for themselves
as well, to figure out andengage into how they how they
themselves, and lean into thelead into the into the
(23:32):
connection between themselvesand the clothes, to see how
they're feeling.
Yeah, I mean all the above.Looking at your clothes, what am
I going to do today, what do Ineed to wear, how do I want to
feel, how does this outfit makeme feel, this color. How do I
want to come across?
So again. So the point is, look,there's thoughtfulness and
(23:53):
purposefulness behind when youjust, when you see, when you
start your day, and you'reputting on your clothes, right,
there's a significance here inwhat you're wearing. There's a
purposefulness. There's athoughtfulness that then sets up
so much of you being prepared,for the rest of your day. You
know, is that, is that kind of,I don't want to put words in
(24:15):
your mouth, but is that kind ofa fair assessment.
Yeah.
Look, I think that's important,right, because I think it's way
too easy to fall into the habitof, I only need 15 minutes. I
just got to wake up, you know,jump in and out of the shower,
grab something and to wear andrun out the door, right? And to
become very efficient. However,sometimes in that efficiency and
(24:38):
hurry up in the fast pace oflife, it's very easy to miss the
effectiveness, right, of whatwe're doing. And so, you know, a
lot of what you're talking aboutis tapping into that
effectiveness and purposefulnessand thoughtfulness and how that
then sets you up for the rest ofthe day. Like, and I know, like,
back when I was in, you know, inmy corporate world, I was, you
(25:00):
know, I definitely looked, youknow, each day my dress, I
viewed it as my, my armor forthe day. You know,
unfortunately, I viewed it asarmor versus something that had
a little bit more of a, youknow, a pleasant thing to it.
But anyway, that's where I wasat at that point in my life,
right? And so, anyway, and so Ithink that. And so I think it's
(25:22):
just important for people to tobe able to figure out how to, if
they, you know, to carve outsome time for themselves in the
morning to take, to have that,that kind of connection of where
am I at, how I want to feel forthe day? Am I putting this
surrounding myself with thestuff that's going to support me
to get there? Alright, now Ifeel ready to take on whatever's
(25:45):
coming.
It's also talking about beingprepared for the day and being
prepared for how things affectyou? One of the things that
you've also been bringing to myattention has been the
ingredients in food, yeah, andsometimes things that I would
never have thought of as, quote,unquote, not great for you.
(26:09):
They're not good for you. Youknow, because in some case, in
many cases, they're in, quote,products that are deemed as
healthy, right and and so if youwouldn't mind sharing, I think
this is also really important,because a lot of the our
listeners will, you know, havewill identify as either
sensitive to energy, sensitiveto foods, neurodivergent, you
(26:31):
know, and you know, and foodobviously plays a factor then
you know, and how the bodyreacts. And some of these
substances definitely affectemotions. So anyway, that being
said, you know, would you mindsharing, you know, a couple of
the common ones that peopleshould look out for, in their
ingredients to try to avoid, aswell as if applicable. What some
(26:55):
of the side effects can be sothat people can recognize, you
know, if you know, if, in fact,maybe they are having some of
these side effects, notrecognizing it.
Yeah, unfortunately, there'sprobably more than less than
what everyone's daily eatinghabits are. Like MSG, you know,
reading labels, making suremonosodium glutamate is not in
(27:18):
it. It's very damaging toneurons in the brain and memory.
Or sweeteners, anywhere fromaspartame, Sweet and Low to
anything that is, you know, theysay for diabetes, you know, no
sugar added, but that meansthere's something added to make
(27:39):
it sweet, and then the addictiveprocess that our brain and
bodies get to that sugar tasteso definitely reading labels and
then it can make you jittery ormake you irritable, or stomach
aches, headaches, the wholegamut of responses super low for
(28:03):
sure.
Is sucralose one of the issucralose, one of this
sweeteners, or one of theingredients that can contribute
to the list of symptoms you justmentioned?
Oh, yeah.
All right. And then I thinkanother one you've mentioned to
me is, is this, and this is theone that, this is one that
(28:25):
boggles my mind. I mean, I don'tknow what else to tell us to
react to it, but laugh. Naturalflavors.
Natural flavorings.
Natural flavorings. Okay, isthere a difference between
natural flavors and naturalflavoring?
Maybe we don't know. That's upto whoever put the label on the
(28:48):
package.
Okay, that's an okay, good.That's an important distinction.
And so in that, when it saysnatural flavoring, one would
think, Oh, natural flavoring.That means it's got to be good
for me, better than a chem lab.
We don't know what that naturalflavoring is. So it doesn't
really tell you what it is.
(29:09):
Okay, what is it about naturalflavoring that makes it harmful?
And if it's harmful, why is itin some of our food still? Or is
this one of those things that,yeah, it's in our food, but the
FDA is also, like, you know, gotit under review, and saying,
Hey, we probably shouldn't bedoing this anymore. Kind of
like, I. You know, oh my gosh.The other ones you made me
thought, I think it was a yellownumber five. That's another one.
(29:29):
Well any dyes are toxic. Soanything dyes, we don't need dye
in our body.
So talk about, you talked aboutthe toxicity, or the
neurotoxicity of some of these.
Yeah, it just can be toxic toyour brain health, so simple as
(29:51):
it affects memory andAlzheimer's and dementia. So if
it we don't know what it is,probably shouldn't be ingesting
it. So if you read something andyou don't know what it is on a
label then, it's a sure tellsign not to take it.
And you and I have had thisconversation many times. And
(30:13):
this is, this is a realchallenge in life, both in just
living a healthy life, living,well, just living a healthy
life, right? Is that is the is,how expensive it is. To quote,
unquote, eat healthy. Because,you know, the stuff that's got
all these other ingredients sureseems to be, I have a lot be a
lot more affordable.
(30:36):
Correct.
And so that's like a and so, youknow, I know, and I'm not saying
that you or you or I havefigured this out, because I
think that, as we've talkedabout various skills, you know,
the ability to grocery shopappropriately is, isn't
necessarily, you know, ourhighest one so, but like, what
(30:57):
can we so, is there any advice,though, to help people that are
like, hey Man, when I gottafigure out between starving
versus you know, out some not sogreat stuff in my body, how do I
help to navigate those waters?Any feedback or any thoughts on
that?
Just reading labels. The morenatural something is, the
(31:19):
better. So if you don't have tostarve yourself, it's just more
of reading labels and stayingaway from preservatives and
boxed and canned itemstypically. So walking in a
grocery store around the outsideversus the inside is one general
rule of thumb.
(31:41):
And you did bring and it's agood point I want to expand on
on it, which was the reading ofthe labels. It's not just the
reading of the labels tounderstand what are some of the
ingredients that we're trying toavoid, but it's also recognizing
reading the labels. Becausesometimes you can be surprised
at how you may not think that abrand has decent ingredients,
(32:01):
but it does and is alsoaffordable, right, you know? And
so, you know, I think, you know,it's something very small, and I
know it's not great to beginwith, but compared to the
options, and they're beingseasonal, right? Like I was all
excited to find by a brand name,you know, a caramel dip for
apples, right? Because I,because of our conversations, I
would no longer purchase thecaramel apples a year in the
(32:22):
fall time, which I enjoy doing.I feel like it's kind of
festive. So, right? So I enjoy,you know, having a caramel apple
or two. But in order to get themto safe on the shelves, they
contain all kinds of stuff thatyou share with me that you know,
I won't put my body anymore. SoI was all bummed out, but then,
yeah, me, but because I spentthe time to read labels, I was
able to find, you know, analternative that didn't contain
that stuff. Instead, I couldenjoy my apple and have some
(32:45):
caramel apples and, you know,and it was affordable. So it was
a nice middle ground. So I justwant also kind of, so I just
wanted to point that out thatit's not just about, you know,
reading labels to excludethings, but recognizing how that
will also, you know, add toinclusivity as well.
And so I know that I've talkedabout learning and the
importance of you know, and findthe importance of of learning
(33:09):
through animals, right? Ipersonally have used you know
squirrels as an example. But Iknow that you also have, you
know, a friend near and dear toyour heart, Sophia, who is, you
know, we've talked about beinga, you know, a little bundle of
wisdom. And I think this is,this is important, because when
(33:31):
I've talked about interactingwith with squirrels and nature
and animals, it's been aboutkind of me tapping in
information via their theircollective consciousnesses. But
your communication with Sophiaand learning with Sophia has
been one on a more one to onebasis, which has been able to
enrich the relationship and, youknow, communication between you
(33:52):
two. But also, and this is apart that I want to really point
out too, is that, as as you've,you know, challenged Sophia to
learn, right, she continues tocomprehend and to learn more,
and then and and so, you know,just supporting, you know, my
(34:13):
other the other point, I'm doinga shameless plug right now,
because I know how smart Sophiais, right, that animals the
wild, while the intelligence isdifferent animals possess, are
wildly intelligent, and candemonstrate that to us, if we
just give them the opportunity.So anyway, you know, I'm over,
(34:34):
I'm over talking here and notallowing you a chance to talk
about little, little preciousSophia. And so I didn't grow up
with dogs right in the same waysthat you did, and so I'm not
able to articulate and to giveSophia credit for some of the
ways that you noticed, you know,that she was, that she was, that
(34:54):
she displayed some intelligencedifferently than somebody and
some of the other dogs, and thenhow you've been able to kind of
create your own language to talkwith her, and, you know, and
then I'm sure people at homewould want to try to figure out
how to, you know, do some ofthat for themselves. So let me,
let me, you know, ask you howyou know? How did you know? How
is Sophia different than some ofthe dogs you've had in the past?
(35:17):
She's much more in tune with me,probably because we're together
all the time, whereas, you know,growing up, I was with farm
animals, so they were mostlyoutside, inside. But we, you
know, have learned basically andappreciated each other's
(35:38):
routines and listening to herand paying attention to her, you
know, different barks, herdifferent mannerisms of what she
does, and then learning whatthat means. So it's basically
just paying attention.
(35:59):
So could you give some examplesof how would you like? What are
some of the things that waysthat she talks to you?
I mean, like I just said herdifferent barks. So whether she
wants I know she has to gopotty. I know if she's hungry. I
know if it's I want outside. Iknow if it's I want to play.
(36:22):
That's a lot from a bark.
Yeah.
So how did you So, how did youfigure out, by paying attention,
that that translated to thosethings?
By paying attention, bylistening. It's as simple as
(36:47):
that, if you don't, then you'rejust assuming and telling them
to stop barking.
True. So, but so at some point,though you right, you there's
like, but yeah, at some pointyou learn when this bark meant,
hey, I want to go outside, or,you know, versus I want to
treat, right? And so that'd belike, because you gave her,
because you went to give her atreat, and, you know, yet she
(37:09):
still is barking. So yourecognize that wasn't it, right?
Like, that's kind of what I'mtrying to I'm trying to get a
little granular here.
Well, she wants to go outside.She'll go to the door. What are
her man? You're, you know, whatis she doing in conjunction with
that bark?
Got it. And so what is Yeah, andso she's, and so she's, she
points at things, right? That'sone of the ways that I noticed
(37:31):
that you that you guys havelearned to communicate with each
other.
Yes, she will look at it.
Yeah, she'll bark and then golook at things
Yeah.
And so, like, you've and sothat's, that's that. And so
that's kind of had some funstories with, you know, having
(37:51):
friends over, and they're like,what's your dog doing?
Yeah, she's talking to you.
And so, yeah, I remember yoursaying, like you said, they said
your dog's barking at me. And Ithink, what was your reaction?
What was your reaction back tothem?
Because she's want something,she's talking to you. So it's
(38:11):
usually she wants something.
And then I think you said, isshe, is she looking or pointing
somewhere? And they're like,yeah, she keeps looking at the
cupboard. And you're like, oh,yeah, that means she wants a
treat.
Yeah.
And like, into me, right? Like,I was like, you know, that's,
this is just kind of what I'vebecome used to her. And so when
(38:31):
I hear those, you know, I justkind of take that for granted,
you guys have your language andI don't know, maybe everyone in
the dogs are like that, right? Idon't know, but you know, those,
those, obviously, thosereactions from your friends are
like, yeah, no, normally, youknow they're dogs are not as
proactive of communicators aslittle Sophia tends to be. She
tends to be a very proactivecommunicator. And so for those
(38:59):
that are trying to figurebecause you you've also created
a safe space for her to learn,and one of the things that she
taught me and the learningprocess was, was, I mean, it
took me forever, besides justreally understanding love was
also understanding the power ofpositive reinforcement, and
(39:27):
because that was something Inever really experienced. And
you know, neither of ourlearning styles are for the
faint of heart, and Sophia tendsto have that same she's going to
learn it her way, as the two, asthe two of us. So how did you
but, but as you allow her learnher way, right, she's demo,
(39:48):
she's she's grown into her own.And so how would you advise
other you know, pet owners, dogowners to kind of tap into and
help them to unlock their dog'spersonality or communication and
enrich that relationship. Wouldyou have any suggestions?
Yeah, pay attention, listen,watch them, just like the dog
(40:12):
watches you and learns yourbehaviors. That's the only way
you learn theirs.
Speaking of learning styles,right? And talk about, you know,
neither are, neither of ourlearning styles are for the
faint of heart. You know, we'vetalked about like, but wow, you
know, on one hand, boy, be niceto not have to, you know, learn
(40:35):
in such painful lessonssometimes. On the other hand,
acknowledge that, well, it's wehad to work it through so many
different ways, and, you know,until we figured it out right,
and as a result of that, right,wo we don't really talk about,
you know, could, could we havelearned we going back in life.
Could we have learned things andyou know, any differently than
the path that we, that we, thatwe took or not took, and you
(40:58):
know, and again, I'm not, andI'm not asking you to speak for
women or anything like that,just asking you to speak for
you, right? One of the thingsthat we've talked about it too,
is like the different ... theway that women have been trained
or conditioned to fit into acertain role, in conforming in
society, versus understandingtheir individualized self with
(41:20):
their individualized goals andthings like that. You know, is
there any advice that, knowingwhat you know now, right, that
you would go back and give toyour little self to help you,
you know, kind of tap intothings, you know, early, at a
younger age. And I say thingsjust meaning like, you know,
(41:42):
getting comfortable in your ownskin, knowledge, wisdom, or do
you like, hey, think everythingkind of happened as it needs to.
And no, I wouldn't, you know, Iwouldn't necessarily go back and
give my, my little self, anyadvice.
No, because everything unfoldsin the divine order it's
supposed to. That would changethe trajectory of everything.
(42:05):
When were you able to adapt thatperspective of, yeah, look,
things happen as as they weresupposed to. And like genuinely
means willing to say it right,but I know that you literally
live it, right? So was thatsomething you're always that
way, or is that somewhere alongthe way, it just kind of it
happened.
I think it's just the journey ofauthenticity and growth and
(42:26):
having love and compassion foryourself and change and making
mistakes, and sometimes we haveto redo something over and over
until it grabs holds of us andwe learn from it. That's part of
self discovery and selffulfillment.
Yeah, that's that's an importantpart, right? Which would you
(42:47):
just talked about, which is, wegot to get to know ourselves.
And there's, and there seems tobe a, you know, a weaponization
of the learning process that'shappened. Meaning, where people
say, Well, I tried. I told youyou shouldn't have done that, or
you shouldn't do that, or if youjust listen to me. And and in
doing so, the, you know, whilethe intentions are good, the
(43:09):
unintended consequence then ispeople don't people learn how to
stop thinking for themselves asthey just do what everybody
tells them to do, right?
Shoulds. Like you could shouldyourself all day long.
So there's another thing that,this is another thing that we've
talked about, and I don't thinkit's talked about enough, which
is nourishing the soul, so tospeak, right? And you know,
(43:33):
Johnny, who is a podcast guestand right, he talks about
movement. For him, that's a partof it, right? And with you
movement, you know, like, Ithink, you start to understand
how dance was something, and howthat affects you, and the
importance of being able to havesomething like that in, you
know, in your life as well. Andso I guess you know, how have
(43:55):
you come to, how have you bettercome to understand and
recognize, you know when you youknow when you need that, when
you need a little bit of thatextra nourishment, and then, and
then giving it to yourself.
Just paying attention again toyourself and how it affects you.
(44:17):
It's in the stillness and thequiet of those moments where you
really get to know your trueself versus the chaos of life.
So taking those moments, it onlytakes 90 seconds to process an
emotion, so taking that time toacknowledge your emotion and
where it came from.
(44:38):
So have you so you've talked alot about, you know, taking the
time to watch or to payattention and to process but
look, you've been going toschool, getting a doctorate
degree, so you're obviouslyspending a lot of time doing as
well, right? And so how do youhow do you balance the you know,
the observation and the doing.
(44:59):
Just learn. You just do it. Youjust again, another experiment
of what works for you.
Okay, and so is that somethingthat was always that way or was
it, or was that one of thosethings that's kind of evolved?
(45:20):
I think part of it is bothanswers, so part of it is
ingrained in each of us, andthen part of it we learn what
works for us as we become olderand wiser and more receptive to
listening to our emotions versuspushing them in.
The underlying theme of alsowhat you're saying is, look, you
(45:41):
need to understand yourself. Ifyou want to be able to take it
requires taking a lot ofinformation and being able to
process it without gettingsidetracked all the time too. Is
there a fair.
Right, that doesn't take a lotof time. It really doesn't. It's
90 seconds to process anemotion. But most people don't
acknowledge when that emotion isthere.
(46:04):
And so let's talk about thatprocessing of emotion. And I'm
going to go and just, you know,one of the things that you know
we've talked about like healing,and, you know, I'm not going to
go down any specifics here, butone of the things that we've
talked about is, you know, howunderstanding the science of you
helps healing in a way thatcertain traditional therapy, or
(46:30):
things like that, doesn't alwaysnecessarily go. Or I don't want
to say what is or is nothealing, but I will say that
there are different ways to togo through healing that can be
less traumatic than others.That's what I'll say, right? And
I think that in order to beable, and if someone's going to
do deep self work, you're goingto dive deep into trauma. And,
(46:52):
you know, we don't, we'd allagree that that process doesn't
need to be any more difficultthan what it has to be or, you
know, in reliving things.Processing of that emotion. And
one of the things that you know,I know that you've come to learn
in that processing is alsorecognizing how, when we're not
that genuine and authentic selfand how some of that kind of
(47:15):
wears on us until we until werecognize some of those emotions
or lies that we've toldourselves that are associated
with that. And so I think thatthat's another part of listening
and recognizing stuff. I wouldask, you know, is there a is
there a better way that youknow, you would that you could
better words that you could usein the way that I fumbled
through it to describe thattruly healing and letting,
(47:42):
getting, letting go of stuff,right by just understanding the,
you know, hey, this is a lietold myself when someone pops up
again, you you know, put itthrough new lens, and it's able
to be, you know, dealt withdifferently.
Yeah, just, I guessacknowledging, if it's something
still triggers you, you haven'tdealt with it. That trauma, so
(48:06):
acknowledging what is triggeringyou and why, and then dealing
with that so you can moveforward.
And so when you say dealing withthat, that'd be like, because
this is what I'm trying to getat here, right, is that in a lot
of cases, there's like this,this deep reliving of things
that I think a lot of peoplefeel is necessary to go through,
that you and I's experiences ofdealing with things is not
(48:28):
necessarily that case, right?And so I want to, I want to, you
know, share with people,especially those that have been
trying to let go of letting youknow historical traumas affect
them anymore, and maybe you knowsome of the methods they've been
trying haven't been able to be,haven't necessarily worked for
them, right, to be able to getrid of it, even though they kind
(48:50):
of did the stuff that, hey,they're like, hey, you know, I
did the checkbooks, I did the Idid the workbooks. Why isn't it
working? And so what were someof the things that you did along
your journey, that you foundthat helped you, that worked for
you, that were differently,maybe than, than what then, what
was then, what's kind of, what'staught that people can use to
(49:12):
better identify, you know, andlet like and like, all those
things inhibiting them.
I guess usually the answer iswithin yourself. So identifying
why it's triggering you, and ifit still is, and what's the
story you're telling yourself.This is where our mind will tell
ourselves a story, and sousually it's based on what's
(49:34):
happened to us in the past. Soreframing that story with the
truth.
And that's that part that thencan be challenging, and that
sometimes facing that truth, youknow, I guess that's part of
that journey that everyone's gotto figure out for themselves,
(49:54):
whether they want to, yeah. So,based on the type of person you
are today, not the type I don'tknow, just who you are today
around versus who you werebefore you, you know, a few
years ago before you kind ofstarted your more intense
journey. Do you feel like it foryou personally, was it worth it
(50:15):
for you to to do that toughstuff?
Oh, yeah, otherwise, you'll keepreliving it.
So you found relief.
Yeah, you have to let go of whoyou think you should be, because
then your true self can shinethrough.
(50:38):
Let me guess, finding your trueself comes from paying
attention.
Yep.
It took a little bit, but I'mstarting to notice an underlying
theme of paying attention andobserving. And so, how do you
(51:03):
again? I know your schedule. Iknow how busy you are, so high.
I know you said it only takes 90seconds to process an emotion.
But, you know, look, takinginformation, processing things,
people, situations, that stuffdoesn't all just take 90
seconds, right? And so, youknow, how have you figured out
how to skinny that down to justthe stuff that matters from so
(51:24):
many from so much informationaround you, to then be able to
make decisions with?
Those quiet moments, you have tohave stillness. You can't have
your TV on, you're reading abook, you can't, you just have
to have quiet moments. So that'swhere that meditative time comes
in play. And so are you really along time.
(51:48):
Sorry to interrupt you there. Sois setting boundaries, you know,
in terms of, you know, to giveyourself that time something
then that you've also then, isan important part of your days
routines?
Oh, yeah. Definitely, or youwouldn't get anything done if
(52:09):
you didn't have boundaries.
And then the last thing that Ialso want to, that I want to
kind of touch on here, is we,you know, we talked about how
the circa, you know, I'vementioned, like circumstances or
surroundings, but really, one ofthe easy ways to think about is
like, you can't just, for manypeople, there's only just so
much you can do in your officespace. But your home space, and
(52:30):
I think this is one of thethings that I've noticed you
having also a much greater, youknow, you're starting to unlock,
you know, an understanding of ishow to make your space conducive
to yourself or the energies. Howwould you kind of describe, I
don't want to, how would youdescribe the importance of that,
(52:50):
and how you've come tounderstand the importance of
that?
I mean, I think it just goesback to long back the feng shui
of why people set up homes theway they do, why colors affect
us, why arrangement affects us,so.
(53:10):
And so did you end up changingSo as you've gone through is
some of your transformation, andwe talked about, you know, some
of your clothes style changing.Did some of your decorating
style or the way that you youknow created the surroundings
of your where you live, did thatalso then change?
Yeah, because we as I've learnedto pay attention to how things
(53:31):
affect me. So whether that's acolor or artwork or piece of
furniture that I don't like tosit in - that affects your mood.
So, if somebody was like, wow, Iagree this is great. I obviously
(53:52):
recognize Jamie, the Dr. Jamiethe value in having the time for
reflection like this. How, wheredo I start? Do I start with my
relationships? Do I start mypersonal self? Do I start with
my professional self? Do I startwith my pet right? Do you have
any suggestions for helpingsomebody to figure out how to
(54:13):
get started without feeling, youknow, so they don't feel so
overwhelmed, because it's a lotof work, what we're talking
about here, but it doesn't,doesn't have but it should not
feel overwhelming.
No, it's not really a lot ofwork. It's just, it's literally
as simple as pay attention toone thing at a time and it'll
come up for you. If it doesn't,it's not bothering you, and
(54:35):
those things will change.
I know you stepped away here tobe able to have this
conversation today. So again, asI really appreciate, I want to
give you, you know, as we kindof wrap up here, is there any
(54:56):
advice that you would want togive to the audience, or in
words of encouragement. Youknow, as we wrap up?
I think again, just not, playinginto the I should be this.
Should be that, but let yourtrue essence of yourself shine
(55:17):
through by letting go of that.
And what would you say topeople, if they're like, Well,
is it worth putting in it? Whatwould you say to what
encouragement? Words ofencouragement would you say to
people is to say, Hey, this iswhat's on the other side of
that. And so this is why it'syou know, it's worth doing.
(55:42):
You can learn to become moregrateful of every moment and
person. Because we each ofsomething to teach each other.
I think anybody you know is, ifyou're leading a life of
gratitude, you know, you're, youtend to be, you tend to also
then be leading a, you know, apretty happy and fulfilling,
(56:03):
meaningful life as well.
Yeah.
So all right. Well, thank you,Dr. Harms, for, you know,
providing the deep I know thatyou know. You may have, you may
(56:23):
have not given paragraphs ofwords, but the information that
you provided was relatable,simple to understand and
actionable, right? And which,which, which is really important
to helping my listeners, whichis to learn how to get
comfortable in their own skinand think for themselves, right?
(56:47):
I mean, if we want to createchange in the world, it starts
with it starts with healthypeople that feel confident in
their own skin and learn how tothink for themselves. I think
you'd agree.
Yep, deeper.
Yep. So I thank you for helpingto contribute to that and
listeners, I hope that youenjoyed today's conversation as
(57:09):
well, and that you have yourselfa great, awesome and productive
week. Take care.
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