February 27, 2025 • 30 mins
Join Gia as she sits down with T.H. Irwin, the dynamic CEO of T.H. Experiences, LLC, and co-founder of Ex-Experts. In this episode, T.H. shares her incredible journey of empowerment, resilience, and self-discovery, revealing how she transformed her personal challenges into a mission to uplift and educate women.
Discover the importance of knowing your true self beyond the roles you play as a mother, professional, or friend. T.H. emphasizes the significance of identifying your "superpower word" and how it can redefine your path to success. With practical advice on journaling, setting boundaries, and embracing joy, this episode is packed with actionable insights for high-achieving women ready to reclaim their identities and step into their next chapter.
Whether you're navigating personal transitions, seeking to empower yourself, or looking to connect with like-minded women, this conversation is for you.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Laqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm
your host, Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for joining us today. I'm
(00:43):
so excited to introduce you to T.H. Irwin. TH
is the CEO of TH Experiences, LLC, and
the creator of dozens of public-facing experiences with
attendance ranging from 200 to 10,000 people. TH
curates signature next-level experiences that are intentional and
impactful. With more than a decade of experience developing, implementing,
(01:05):
marketing, and producing high engagement experiences, the
mission of empowering and educating women is a top priority. Her
signature experiences include Women for Women Today, Hashtag Every
Woman, and The Night Market. T.H. is also the co-founder of
Ex-Experts and The Divorce, Etc. Podcast, using her
own divorce journey to educate and empower anyone touched by
(01:28):
divorce. T.H., welcome to the show. So excited to have you
I am thrilled that we're neighbors, too. I like finding great
Absolutely. So tell us a little bit about your
background, you know, and what led what led you to the work that you're
I mean, there's a lot that leads you to wherever you stand right now,
(01:51):
which is why it's called Women for Women Today, because we
can only start with where we are in this exact
moment. So although we're recording this on a Tuesday,
whenever you listen to it, I want you to stop and think, okay,
I'm starting right here. My eyes are open. My ears are open. I'm
open to learning right now. You can't fix the past, but
(02:13):
you can certainly know better for the future. A lot
of things made me who I am today. I really
focus on who I am and less about who I serve, but
just for purposes of introduction. I am a
mom of three, raised here in Northern New
Jersey. I am a dog lover. I am not a cat liker,
(02:36):
so sorry, but no. I
was divorced and separated in 2008, which does not
define me, but it's important in understanding how I've become
who I am. And I
had to get my shit together. And I've always worked.
I worked in marketing and strategy. I got my master's degree. So
(03:01):
I have a lot of work experience. I've always had confidence. I've
always been brave. Um,
that diminished during the last several years of my marriage. So I
was really thrilled that that stopped, that part of
my life was over and I didn't realize how
much it had diminished until it was over. And I was like, Oh my God,
(03:23):
I forgot who I am. I forgot what I like. I forgot what,
where I like to go. I forgot how I like to dress. What colors do
I like? Who the hell am I? So. That
was a journey unto itself. But there's, you
know, career TH, and there's mom TH, and
then there's just TH. So lots of bumps in
(03:44):
the road, but all of it
has helped me get to where I am today, which
is a creator of intentional and impactful opportunities
for other people. But I start with myself first. Does
I love that. That is so beautifully stated, and there's a lot that
(04:05):
I want to dig into there. So I love what you
said about there's the mom TH, the career TH, and
then there's the just you TH, right? And I think that's
impactful and so relatable because as high-achieving women,
we wear so many hats. Right. And it's who
are we serving, you know, and in what
capacity? How do I need to show up? And
(04:28):
a lot of that is externally focused. And
so I think it's important to recognize the different hats we wear and how we
show up in those different settings. But
I don't think, I think for a lot of us, the who we
are without the roles and identities can become very
clouded and really hard for us. So I love how you keep that
(04:51):
Well, it's the foundation. For me serving
in any role other than serving myself first.
So I really talk about figuring out what your superpower word
is. And your superpower word is a word that defines you
and what fills your cup. And it
can't have anything to do with you being a mom, a daughter, a friend, an
(05:13):
employee, an entrepreneur, none of it. So Gia, what
Yeah, that's a great question. Empowerment comes
to mind. And empowerment for yourself first.
So you feel that you take the time to empower yourself. That's
(05:34):
great. Awesome. So I like to introduce
myself by creator. So isn't it magical that
a creator gets to meet an empowerer? I
mean, look at what we can do together as opposed to TH and Gia. Right?
It's so much bigger. It's so much more intentional. There's clarity around
it. It's really hard for people to figure out who the heck they are. I
(05:57):
don't know who I am. I just did carpool and I got to get dinner done. And
I have a deadline tonight at 10 o'clock. I don't have time
to think about this. So you talk a
lot about rewriting the rules of success for high achieving women.
And I think the number one thing is knowing who
you are. You will not be successful in
(06:20):
any roles if you don't know who you are. You'll
be trying things out and going with the flow
and fake it till you make it. And I get all of that. But
at the end of the day, are you happy? You feel
fulfilled? Is it bringing you joy? Is it lighting you
up? Not every job will. But
(06:42):
knowing who you are as a foundation Definitely
will. So I think really understanding your superpower, how
it serves you, because obviously it's going to serve others, right?
You have this awesome podcast where you are
creating messaging and building stories
to share so other women feel empowered, right? Wait,
(07:05):
I didn't know I was a high achieving woman. No one's ever called
me that before. Well, Gia is sharing it with you today
and you are a high achieving woman or you want to be, which
Yeah, absolutely. I love that. And, uh,
you know, it's, it's interesting what you said, the identity piece and being crystal clear on
(07:26):
who you are, because as high achieving women, there's
various reasons why, but we tend to lose touch.
with who we really are, right? Whether it's because
of the demands on our career when it's becoming a
mother, we forget about the things we like and we don't like, whether
it's a relationship that somehow impacts how
(07:47):
you see yourself and your sense of identity, right? There's all
these layers. And I'm not even
touching upon the societal conditioning and our own
internal belief systems, right? There's just so many
factors there. So I, you know,
I guess the question that's coming up for me as I hear you talking is
(08:07):
as we sort of lose touch with ourself
over the years for these various reasons, what
would you say to the woman who's like, yeah, I don't know
who I am. I don't know what I like. What advice would
There's nothing more impactful than
(08:30):
taking a pencil and a paper and writing
stuff down. It's your way of putting it out
into the world without having to shout it. So you don't have to. You're
not that far ahead. But your first step is to write down things that
you like. What makes you happy? What
makes you smile? Is it watching a show? Is
(08:51):
it going for a hike? I personally hike
a lot. I love to be outside. I
really don't care what season it is. I'm just
not into the wind and the ice, but I love a
snowy night. And I will take out
my phone and start taking pictures of the beauty that surrounds
(09:12):
me. that brings me joy. So that little
step of taking, I do stop and smell the flower and
then I take a picture of it. And then I have
it printed and I have it up on the wall in my gym. So
where I work out, I work out every day. That's just who
(09:32):
I am. It's what I do, all different kinds of workouts. But
that space I've created for myself is filled with
the things that bring me joy. I have pictures of my kids when they were young.
I have pictures of all the nature. I climbed Kilimanjaro,
so I have a picture of me on the summit of Kilimanjaro to remind
myself that I did that. And you
(09:55):
curate a space that's yours alone.
And if you don't have a gym, you can have a wall, and you
can even just start as a screensaver on your phone and on your laptop.
But start writing things down that you like, It's
also important you write down things you don't like, because now you're setting
(10:16):
boundaries. I'm not doing that anymore. That
doesn't bring me joy. That actually kills my joy. And
so that can't be in my life. So you
have to write down the things you like, the things that you don't like,
and your non-negotiables. And
just be open. Go to some random
(10:38):
thing that's going on in town. you
probably have a great time. Go on LinkedIn
and make a new connection with somebody who's started some club.
You always wanted to knit. You always want to learn Mahjong. You want
to play the guitar. You want to start a business. You want to
learn to hike. You want to learn to skydive.
(11:01):
I don't care what it is. Write it down. And
then you can go back to it and look at it and figure out, okay, is
do I want more from a picture on a wall or on my
computer? Or am I good? And you might be good, but
these are all stepping stones to making you feel
(11:23):
that you're in a position that you've arrived, which is
Yeah, that's great advice. And I want to add to what you just said,
because I think there's a ton of power in doing that brain dump, right?
Giving yourself some prompts and just getting it out of your head and on paper, brain
mapping or just journaling, whatever works
(11:46):
for you. But I think the key for me as
having gone through burnout and reinvention and
professional transitions, personal transitions, is
really being unfiltered with your thoughts. Because
I think oftentimes we'll have a thought pop
(12:06):
up, but then immediately I can remember times where
I was very quick to censor myself. To
your point, I want to learn about skydiving
or I want to learn to hike. There's a story we're
going to tell ourselves or an excuse we're going to tell ourselves oftentimes right
away that would even prevent women from writing that
(12:28):
thought down, right? Like, I want to learn how to be a photographer, right?
I would immediately say, well, I'm past that point in
my life. I don't have time for that, right? All the excuses. I don't have
It's a huge investment. I'm not creative. So
my solution, and this really came to
(12:48):
be, I feel like I've always done this, but it definitely had
a pause in my life for many years in my unhappy marriage.
I say yes before no. I literally, TH
will you bring back this event to Anglewood? Yes. I
couldn't even say no, I already said yeah. I can't take
it back, I said yes. Say yes before no. Obviously
(13:12):
not for things that are not healthy for you, but things that are challenging you that
you're like, I don't think I can, yes. I'm not
sure, yes. Are you free, sure. Just
say yes. Take the leap. Because
you are capable of so much more
than you give yourself credit for. The other thing I mentioned in
(13:33):
another interview that I did was
I look at myself as an honest woman. Don't you think you're an honest woman?
I hate lying. My spouse cheated for
many, many years, the lies. I was like, I can't even believe the lies.
Side note to all of those going through infidelity, the cheating's not
(13:55):
what ended my marriage. It's what set me free, okay? So
that's just, don't feel bad. I couldn't have been happier.
One of the best days of my life is when I knew for sure I
But, so I can't stand
lying. I call people out on it. I have
no respect for people who lie, except that I lie to
(14:17):
myself every single day. So why do I accept myself
lying? but I won't accept other people lying. So
now that you've heard that, it's kind of like, Gia, don't you feel like
when someone puts a word on it, you're like, oh yeah, I do that. Now
she put a word on it, I do that. We
all do it. And if you say you don't, you are definitely lying,
(14:40):
okay? So that's that little creepy negative voice
in your head that is lying to
you. that you're allowing, you have choices.
We as women diminish the power that we have.
You have a choice. You can believe it or
not. You can do it or not.
(15:03):
But it is ultimately in your hands. It is under
your control of what
you can and cannot do and what you choose to
Absolutely, and the awareness, to your point, and then calling
it out, right? And then being making a conscious choice of
(15:25):
And when you write it down, and you write down all the things you
think you can go back and look at it and be like, Oh, wow, I'm full of crap. That
is not true. And it's
hard to recognize your positive assets
and your strength and that you're a high-achieving woman, like I never thought
of myself as that. I'm just a girl who really likes
(15:48):
to put on a great party or a great event and
watch people engage and spend time. That's
all I am. I'm not a high-achieving woman. I've done a lot,
but I'm already diminishing myself because that feels like
that's so high up there, Gia. You've made that like unreachable,
but it's not. We are all there. I
(16:12):
also have a sign in my gym that says, do
Epic shit. And it's huge. And
I can't miss it because it's right next to the TV. So no matter what workout
I'm doing, it can't be avoided. And sometimes Epic
is just showing up at the gym that day. Sometimes
Epic is producing a 10,000 person experience in
(16:35):
a city on three city blocks. Sometimes
epic is unplugging
from everything and just being present.
So epic can be anything and you have
to recognize that. It doesn't have to be the most
paramount thing. You don't have to have, well, I had a million people and
(16:57):
I raised a million dollars and I'm president of
whatever. That's great. But epic
is also in the small things that you do and how
Yeah, absolutely. And what moves the needle. Absolutely. Yeah, that's
great. And so I want to go back to, you know, we were talking about superpower
(17:19):
earlier, and I love how you call yourself a creator. You
know, the word that came to my mind was was empowerment. You
know, for those women who are struggling with I
don't know my superpower. What
would you say to them? What advice do you give them? How do we find our superpower?
(17:39):
The way that I started was
I had my best friend who I started X
Experts with. I couldn't write my bio. I
didn't know what to write. I didn't know how to write about myself. This is four
years ago. So I made her write it. I wrote hers. She wrote
mine. It was so much easier. And then I really started thinking
(18:00):
about it. I'm like, wow, I really need to own what
other people see because I want to see it. I mean,
it's a great feeling to see good things about yourself. And
you can, and also the other thing was I never took a compliment. Like,
Gia, you have the most gorgeous smile. And
I would put it down like, well, you know, this, that, the other thing. And
(18:25):
so I don't do that anymore. So when I say, Gia, you're the most gorgeous
smile, you have to say, thank you. Isn't it
crazy that we can't just say, thank you,
that was so nice. You made my day. Why
don't we do that? Because we choose not to. So
I hope this opens up a lot of people's eyes to
(18:48):
how you are limiting yourself. And you're limiting yourself in
all these ways, which prevents you from really tapping into your superpower. Your
first word that you're going to come up with is not your ultimate word.
It's a stepping stone. I know that five
years ago, I would not have owned the word creator.
(19:10):
I wonder if that's huge, that's like God, that's like church,
that's temple, that's religion, that's artists,
that's architects, that's curators. I
own that, I see people, I see what I can
do. Do I boast about it? Sometimes, because
(19:31):
it's very exciting. but I do
it in a way that I respect myself. So
how do you know your superpower word? Again, it
comes back to writing down what you like. What
brings you joy? Bringing people together brings
me a lot of joy. Plus I am super creative. I
(19:52):
have a mind that if you give me a problem, I will come up with a solution that
is visual. I'm not coming up with like code or like
numbers or finance for you, In terms of showing
up for something and engaging with people, I am really good
at that. So start
with writing down your strengths. Start with writing down the things
(20:14):
that you like to do. Start with writing down the places you like
to be. Do you like to travel? Do you like to
be around people? Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you
like to cuddle up with a book or do you like to be part of a book club? Literally
write down these things and then you'll see a theme. there.
For me, taking pictures, building experiences, being
(20:38):
around people, creating energy, building
magic. Those are the things that a creator
does. Yeah. And that's how I came to it. It was
not overnight. I'm sure I was only mom
for at least 10 years, which
is huge being a mom. I had three kids. two
(21:00):
years apart each. And when I separated, they were all under eight.
So trust me, I get it. But
I had a woman at my event last week who
started going on vacation with her girlfriends. She works in construction.
It's her family's construction business, right? So she works
around a lot of men. And her high school friend said, let's
(21:22):
go away on a trip. She goes, great, I'll plan it, da, da, da, da, da. By
the time you got everybody's ducks in a row, they went on vacation. And when she
came back, she said, you know what? I'm not mom, I'm
Jill. It's
not bad to be mom. It's not bad to be entrepreneur. It's
not bad to be a podcast host. None
(21:44):
of those things are bad, but that's not who you are. You're
Gia, and I'm TH. and you're an empowerer and
I am a creator. And so this is what I help people
with. It's figuring out their superpower, becoming accountable
to themselves, learning to own the positive
things about themselves. And that is training. That's
(22:06):
why a journal is really good. I love the five minute journal. It
gives you prompts. It doesn't require too much of your time and
it trains you to recognize success, claim
what today's success will be, and then at the end of the day, what
would you have done differently? And it's amazing
(22:29):
the practice of writing in a journal. One day I
wrote what could have been better was my son was home and I
didn't spend any time with him that day. So what could have been better is
if I carved out time to just be with him. Because I
wrote it down, that's what I did the next day.
Carved out time to be with my son. Cause you know,
(22:49):
we think about a lot of things all day long and it's gone as quick as it got
in my head, it's gone. So own
it. And the important things will rise to the top. That's
how to figure out your superpower. That's how you'll be accountable. And
For sure. And I think what also helps in writing those thoughts down
(23:10):
is you can see the trends and the themes that are bubbling up. Right. Yep,
And you might cringe, but that's okay. Because then
you can look back and say, you know what, I don't want that to be in
my life. And that's where you're building your boundaries and your non-negotiables.
Absolutely. Absolutely. It's great advice. So
(23:33):
THS, you know, we talk about success, redefining success on this podcast.
I would love to know from your perspective, how do you define success today
for yourself? And maybe a little bit about how that's evolved for you over
So I have learned to appreciate time.
I have been through a few things. I
(23:55):
had a four year, very contentious divorce. I
co-parenting with somebody like that is very difficult. Unwinding from
patterns of being married to a true narcissist is
something that took me a long time to do. I think
the most important thing at the end of the day is to
take care of yourself. If
(24:18):
you are not together, I know you've all heard
this in a million different places in a million different ways, but it's the
God's honest truth. I had a four year divorce, super
contentious. I had breast cancer, but
it's not the cancer that led me to nine surgeries
and four and a half years after that every six months. I
(24:40):
have a son with severe anxiety and depression and
dealing with a difficult ex with that and
not taking the blame for everything. I used to feel like, well,
I need to be fixed. I need to fix myself to
make my husband happy. I need to fix myself to help my
son. I need to fix myself because I have to heal from
(25:02):
yet another surgery. And you don't have to fix shit.
You have to be strong and confident and healthy so
that I could recover successfully from those nine
surgeries. So that I had, I knew to seek out
the right people to help me unravel from being married
to a narcissist. So I could align with
(25:26):
strangers and realize this is not an ego thing. My
son has a problem and it's not my problem,
it's his. And there's nothing wrong with him.
He's just wired differently. So
if you are not in a good place for yourself, you
cannot recover from trauma. You cannot move on
(25:47):
from challenges. You can't even face challenges. So
really my top bit of advice for how I got
to where I am is I do make wellness
and fitness a part of my every single day.
I don't kill myself like I used to when I was training for Kilimanjaro, which
(26:08):
by the way had nothing to do with physical challenge, it was mental. It's
way harder mentally than physically to climb that
mountain. So being
healthy is what allowed my body to recover from those surgeries. Being
healthy with therapy has helped me deal with people
and recognize it's not my fault. Maybe they're just not the right person
(26:31):
in my life. And this last year,
I really came to the resolution that I need joy and money
in my life. I need both. Joy
is great. Experts brought Jessica and I a ton of joy. Our
podcast is huge. We're helping hundreds of thousands of
people through divorce with free resources. We're
(26:53):
your girlfriends through it all. We are not lawyers. We're none of
that, but I've been through my fair share. So is she. Plus we've
interviewed over 300 people. So we've got, we've
got stuff to share, right? But it didn't bring me money.
It doesn't mean it wasn't successful because look at my reach. So
how you define success, also for a high achieving woman, you
(27:15):
have to be very mindful of it. So last year I realized I
am successful with ex-experts, but not in the
way I want to be. My experiences bring
me both joy and money. That's my
sweet spot. This is where I want to live. It feels great
to make your own money. It feels great to not have to have a
huge media company behind you and you can still get it
(27:38):
done and do it amazing. And that the
way you're doing it and being open to learning and growing and
connecting is only going to make the
joy and money bucket bigger, right? There's always
room in our heart for more love. When my when I
was going through a divorce, you know, I was always worried, as I'm sure many
people are that, you know, they're going to stop loving me. They're
(28:01):
going to love him more. They're going to love her more. And then, oh, now there's another person
in the picture. Where is all that? How's all that going
to fit? You can love as many people as you want. Yeah,
it's your choice. But again, be good with you. So
For sure. I think that's so beautifully stated because we often hear as
(28:23):
women, take care of yourself, fill your cup first and fill
your bucket. But the way you approach that and
the reason why that's so important is truly beautiful. So
thank you for that. And I really love the work that
you're doing. Where can our listeners learn more about you and the work
So I, my in-person experiences are only in
(28:45):
Northern New Jersey. I call them experiences because
they are impactful beyond the time that it happened. An
event is something on your calendar. It's a doctor's appointment. It's
a phone call. It's a homework assignment. It's a
date. My experiences will next level you.
So if you're in North Jersey, please go to th, just
(29:07):
two letters, dash, the word experiences with
an S on the end, because I have many of them. I
do have Women for Women today, which is focused on Empower, Connect, Inspire,
Learn for every woman. I do have Demystify Metapause
as a special edition of that event. And then I have huge
festivals called the Night Markets. So you can find them
(29:29):
all there. And if you just want to talk and you want to learn
how to grow and how to really tap
Amazing. Amazing. So thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights
and expertise. It's been absolutely, I've had so much
fun chatting with you today. So thank you. Thank you again. And of
(29:52):
course, you can visit my website at gialacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
gialacqua. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. This
is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy. Our mic drops, but
the movement continues. Until next time, your next chapter is
waiting. Take care. That concludes another empowering episode of
Your Future Starts Now. Before we wrap up, I wanna thank this
incredible community of high-achieving women. Your energy, resilience,
(30:16):
and commitment to growth are the driving force behind what we do.
If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate it, leave a review, and don't forget
to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your feedback fuels our
mission to empower high-achieving women just like you. And of
course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women in
your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
(30:36):
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Laqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm
your host, Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for joining us today. I'm
(00:43):
so excited to introduce you to T.H. Irwin. TH
is the CEO of TH Experiences, LLC, and
the creator of dozens of public-facing experiences with
attendance ranging from 200 to 10,000 people. TH
curates signature next-level experiences that are intentional and
impactful. With more than a decade of experience developing, implementing,
(01:05):
marketing, and producing high engagement experiences, the
mission of empowering and educating women is a top priority. Her
signature experiences include Women for Women Today, Hashtag Every
Woman, and The Night Market. T.H. is also the co-founder of
Ex-Experts and The Divorce, Etc. Podcast, using her
own divorce journey to educate and empower anyone touched by
(01:28):
divorce. T.H., welcome to the show. So excited to have you
I am thrilled that we're neighbors, too. I like finding great
Absolutely. So tell us a little bit about your
background, you know, and what led what led you to the work that you're
I mean, there's a lot that leads you to wherever you stand right now,
(01:51):
which is why it's called Women for Women Today, because we
can only start with where we are in this exact
moment. So although we're recording this on a Tuesday,
whenever you listen to it, I want you to stop and think, okay,
I'm starting right here. My eyes are open. My ears are open. I'm
open to learning right now. You can't fix the past, but
(02:13):
you can certainly know better for the future. A lot
of things made me who I am today. I really
focus on who I am and less about who I serve, but
just for purposes of introduction. I am a
mom of three, raised here in Northern New
Jersey. I am a dog lover. I am not a cat liker,
(02:36):
so sorry, but no. I
was divorced and separated in 2008, which does not
define me, but it's important in understanding how I've become
who I am. And I
had to get my shit together. And I've always worked.
I worked in marketing and strategy. I got my master's degree. So
(03:01):
I have a lot of work experience. I've always had confidence. I've
always been brave. Um,
that diminished during the last several years of my marriage. So I
was really thrilled that that stopped, that part of
my life was over and I didn't realize how
much it had diminished until it was over. And I was like, Oh my God,
(03:23):
I forgot who I am. I forgot what I like. I forgot what,
where I like to go. I forgot how I like to dress. What colors do
I like? Who the hell am I? So. That
was a journey unto itself. But there's, you
know, career TH, and there's mom TH, and
then there's just TH. So lots of bumps in
(03:44):
the road, but all of it
has helped me get to where I am today, which
is a creator of intentional and impactful opportunities
for other people. But I start with myself first. Does
I love that. That is so beautifully stated, and there's a lot that
(04:05):
I want to dig into there. So I love what you
said about there's the mom TH, the career TH, and
then there's the just you TH, right? And I think that's
impactful and so relatable because as high-achieving women,
we wear so many hats. Right. And it's who
are we serving, you know, and in what
capacity? How do I need to show up? And
(04:28):
a lot of that is externally focused. And
so I think it's important to recognize the different hats we wear and how we
show up in those different settings. But
I don't think, I think for a lot of us, the who we
are without the roles and identities can become very
clouded and really hard for us. So I love how you keep that
(04:51):
Well, it's the foundation. For me serving
in any role other than serving myself first.
So I really talk about figuring out what your superpower word
is. And your superpower word is a word that defines you
and what fills your cup. And it
can't have anything to do with you being a mom, a daughter, a friend, an
(05:13):
employee, an entrepreneur, none of it. So Gia, what
Yeah, that's a great question. Empowerment comes
to mind. And empowerment for yourself first.
So you feel that you take the time to empower yourself. That's
(05:34):
great. Awesome. So I like to introduce
myself by creator. So isn't it magical that
a creator gets to meet an empowerer? I
mean, look at what we can do together as opposed to TH and Gia. Right?
It's so much bigger. It's so much more intentional. There's clarity around
it. It's really hard for people to figure out who the heck they are. I
(05:57):
don't know who I am. I just did carpool and I got to get dinner done. And
I have a deadline tonight at 10 o'clock. I don't have time
to think about this. So you talk a
lot about rewriting the rules of success for high achieving women.
And I think the number one thing is knowing who
you are. You will not be successful in
(06:20):
any roles if you don't know who you are. You'll
be trying things out and going with the flow
and fake it till you make it. And I get all of that. But
at the end of the day, are you happy? You feel
fulfilled? Is it bringing you joy? Is it lighting you
up? Not every job will. But
(06:42):
knowing who you are as a foundation Definitely
will. So I think really understanding your superpower, how
it serves you, because obviously it's going to serve others, right?
You have this awesome podcast where you are
creating messaging and building stories
to share so other women feel empowered, right? Wait,
(07:05):
I didn't know I was a high achieving woman. No one's ever called
me that before. Well, Gia is sharing it with you today
and you are a high achieving woman or you want to be, which
Yeah, absolutely. I love that. And, uh,
you know, it's, it's interesting what you said, the identity piece and being crystal clear on
(07:26):
who you are, because as high achieving women, there's
various reasons why, but we tend to lose touch.
with who we really are, right? Whether it's because
of the demands on our career when it's becoming a
mother, we forget about the things we like and we don't like, whether
it's a relationship that somehow impacts how
(07:47):
you see yourself and your sense of identity, right? There's all
these layers. And I'm not even
touching upon the societal conditioning and our own
internal belief systems, right? There's just so many
factors there. So I, you know,
I guess the question that's coming up for me as I hear you talking is
(08:07):
as we sort of lose touch with ourself
over the years for these various reasons, what
would you say to the woman who's like, yeah, I don't know
who I am. I don't know what I like. What advice would
There's nothing more impactful than
(08:30):
taking a pencil and a paper and writing
stuff down. It's your way of putting it out
into the world without having to shout it. So you don't have to. You're
not that far ahead. But your first step is to write down things that
you like. What makes you happy? What
makes you smile? Is it watching a show? Is
(08:51):
it going for a hike? I personally hike
a lot. I love to be outside. I
really don't care what season it is. I'm just
not into the wind and the ice, but I love a
snowy night. And I will take out
my phone and start taking pictures of the beauty that surrounds
(09:12):
me. that brings me joy. So that little
step of taking, I do stop and smell the flower and
then I take a picture of it. And then I have
it printed and I have it up on the wall in my gym. So
where I work out, I work out every day. That's just who
(09:32):
I am. It's what I do, all different kinds of workouts. But
that space I've created for myself is filled with
the things that bring me joy. I have pictures of my kids when they were young.
I have pictures of all the nature. I climbed Kilimanjaro,
so I have a picture of me on the summit of Kilimanjaro to remind
myself that I did that. And you
(09:55):
curate a space that's yours alone.
And if you don't have a gym, you can have a wall, and you
can even just start as a screensaver on your phone and on your laptop.
But start writing things down that you like, It's
also important you write down things you don't like, because now you're setting
(10:16):
boundaries. I'm not doing that anymore. That
doesn't bring me joy. That actually kills my joy. And
so that can't be in my life. So you
have to write down the things you like, the things that you don't like,
and your non-negotiables. And
just be open. Go to some random
(10:38):
thing that's going on in town. you
probably have a great time. Go on LinkedIn
and make a new connection with somebody who's started some club.
You always wanted to knit. You always want to learn Mahjong. You want
to play the guitar. You want to start a business. You want to
learn to hike. You want to learn to skydive.
(11:01):
I don't care what it is. Write it down. And
then you can go back to it and look at it and figure out, okay, is
do I want more from a picture on a wall or on my
computer? Or am I good? And you might be good, but
these are all stepping stones to making you feel
(11:23):
that you're in a position that you've arrived, which is
Yeah, that's great advice. And I want to add to what you just said,
because I think there's a ton of power in doing that brain dump, right?
Giving yourself some prompts and just getting it out of your head and on paper, brain
mapping or just journaling, whatever works
(11:46):
for you. But I think the key for me as
having gone through burnout and reinvention and
professional transitions, personal transitions, is
really being unfiltered with your thoughts. Because
I think oftentimes we'll have a thought pop
(12:06):
up, but then immediately I can remember times where
I was very quick to censor myself. To
your point, I want to learn about skydiving
or I want to learn to hike. There's a story we're
going to tell ourselves or an excuse we're going to tell ourselves oftentimes right
away that would even prevent women from writing that
(12:28):
thought down, right? Like, I want to learn how to be a photographer, right?
I would immediately say, well, I'm past that point in
my life. I don't have time for that, right? All the excuses. I don't have
It's a huge investment. I'm not creative. So
my solution, and this really came to
(12:48):
be, I feel like I've always done this, but it definitely had
a pause in my life for many years in my unhappy marriage.
I say yes before no. I literally, TH
will you bring back this event to Anglewood? Yes. I
couldn't even say no, I already said yeah. I can't take
it back, I said yes. Say yes before no. Obviously
(13:12):
not for things that are not healthy for you, but things that are challenging you that
you're like, I don't think I can, yes. I'm not
sure, yes. Are you free, sure. Just
say yes. Take the leap. Because
you are capable of so much more
than you give yourself credit for. The other thing I mentioned in
(13:33):
another interview that I did was
I look at myself as an honest woman. Don't you think you're an honest woman?
I hate lying. My spouse cheated for
many, many years, the lies. I was like, I can't even believe the lies.
Side note to all of those going through infidelity, the cheating's not
(13:55):
what ended my marriage. It's what set me free, okay? So
that's just, don't feel bad. I couldn't have been happier.
One of the best days of my life is when I knew for sure I
But, so I can't stand
lying. I call people out on it. I have
no respect for people who lie, except that I lie to
(14:17):
myself every single day. So why do I accept myself
lying? but I won't accept other people lying. So
now that you've heard that, it's kind of like, Gia, don't you feel like
when someone puts a word on it, you're like, oh yeah, I do that. Now
she put a word on it, I do that. We
all do it. And if you say you don't, you are definitely lying,
(14:40):
okay? So that's that little creepy negative voice
in your head that is lying to
you. that you're allowing, you have choices.
We as women diminish the power that we have.
You have a choice. You can believe it or
not. You can do it or not.
(15:03):
But it is ultimately in your hands. It is under
your control of what
you can and cannot do and what you choose to
Absolutely, and the awareness, to your point, and then calling
it out, right? And then being making a conscious choice of
(15:25):
And when you write it down, and you write down all the things you
think you can go back and look at it and be like, Oh, wow, I'm full of crap. That
is not true. And it's
hard to recognize your positive assets
and your strength and that you're a high-achieving woman, like I never thought
of myself as that. I'm just a girl who really likes
(15:48):
to put on a great party or a great event and
watch people engage and spend time. That's
all I am. I'm not a high-achieving woman. I've done a lot,
but I'm already diminishing myself because that feels like
that's so high up there, Gia. You've made that like unreachable,
but it's not. We are all there. I
(16:12):
also have a sign in my gym that says, do
Epic shit. And it's huge. And
I can't miss it because it's right next to the TV. So no matter what workout
I'm doing, it can't be avoided. And sometimes Epic
is just showing up at the gym that day. Sometimes
Epic is producing a 10,000 person experience in
(16:35):
a city on three city blocks. Sometimes
epic is unplugging
from everything and just being present.
So epic can be anything and you have
to recognize that. It doesn't have to be the most
paramount thing. You don't have to have, well, I had a million people and
(16:57):
I raised a million dollars and I'm president of
whatever. That's great. But epic
is also in the small things that you do and how
Yeah, absolutely. And what moves the needle. Absolutely. Yeah, that's
great. And so I want to go back to, you know, we were talking about superpower
(17:19):
earlier, and I love how you call yourself a creator. You
know, the word that came to my mind was was empowerment. You
know, for those women who are struggling with I
don't know my superpower. What
would you say to them? What advice do you give them? How do we find our superpower?
(17:39):
The way that I started was
I had my best friend who I started X
Experts with. I couldn't write my bio. I
didn't know what to write. I didn't know how to write about myself. This is four
years ago. So I made her write it. I wrote hers. She wrote
mine. It was so much easier. And then I really started thinking
(18:00):
about it. I'm like, wow, I really need to own what
other people see because I want to see it. I mean,
it's a great feeling to see good things about yourself. And
you can, and also the other thing was I never took a compliment. Like,
Gia, you have the most gorgeous smile. And
I would put it down like, well, you know, this, that, the other thing. And
(18:25):
so I don't do that anymore. So when I say, Gia, you're the most gorgeous
smile, you have to say, thank you. Isn't it
crazy that we can't just say, thank you,
that was so nice. You made my day. Why
don't we do that? Because we choose not to. So
I hope this opens up a lot of people's eyes to
(18:48):
how you are limiting yourself. And you're limiting yourself in
all these ways, which prevents you from really tapping into your superpower. Your
first word that you're going to come up with is not your ultimate word.
It's a stepping stone. I know that five
years ago, I would not have owned the word creator.
(19:10):
I wonder if that's huge, that's like God, that's like church,
that's temple, that's religion, that's artists,
that's architects, that's curators. I
own that, I see people, I see what I can
do. Do I boast about it? Sometimes, because
(19:31):
it's very exciting. but I do
it in a way that I respect myself. So
how do you know your superpower word? Again, it
comes back to writing down what you like. What
brings you joy? Bringing people together brings
me a lot of joy. Plus I am super creative. I
(19:52):
have a mind that if you give me a problem, I will come up with a solution that
is visual. I'm not coming up with like code or like
numbers or finance for you, In terms of showing
up for something and engaging with people, I am really good
at that. So start
with writing down your strengths. Start with writing down the things
(20:14):
that you like to do. Start with writing down the places you like
to be. Do you like to travel? Do you like to
be around people? Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you
like to cuddle up with a book or do you like to be part of a book club? Literally
write down these things and then you'll see a theme. there.
For me, taking pictures, building experiences, being
(20:38):
around people, creating energy, building
magic. Those are the things that a creator
does. Yeah. And that's how I came to it. It was
not overnight. I'm sure I was only mom
for at least 10 years, which
is huge being a mom. I had three kids. two
(21:00):
years apart each. And when I separated, they were all under eight.
So trust me, I get it. But
I had a woman at my event last week who
started going on vacation with her girlfriends. She works in construction.
It's her family's construction business, right? So she works
around a lot of men. And her high school friend said, let's
(21:22):
go away on a trip. She goes, great, I'll plan it, da, da, da, da, da. By
the time you got everybody's ducks in a row, they went on vacation. And when she
came back, she said, you know what? I'm not mom, I'm
Jill. It's
not bad to be mom. It's not bad to be entrepreneur. It's
not bad to be a podcast host. None
(21:44):
of those things are bad, but that's not who you are. You're
Gia, and I'm TH. and you're an empowerer and
I am a creator. And so this is what I help people
with. It's figuring out their superpower, becoming accountable
to themselves, learning to own the positive
things about themselves. And that is training. That's
(22:06):
why a journal is really good. I love the five minute journal. It
gives you prompts. It doesn't require too much of your time and
it trains you to recognize success, claim
what today's success will be, and then at the end of the day, what
would you have done differently? And it's amazing
(22:29):
the practice of writing in a journal. One day I
wrote what could have been better was my son was home and I
didn't spend any time with him that day. So what could have been better is
if I carved out time to just be with him. Because I
wrote it down, that's what I did the next day.
Carved out time to be with my son. Cause you know,
(22:49):
we think about a lot of things all day long and it's gone as quick as it got
in my head, it's gone. So own
it. And the important things will rise to the top. That's
how to figure out your superpower. That's how you'll be accountable. And
For sure. And I think what also helps in writing those thoughts down
(23:10):
is you can see the trends and the themes that are bubbling up. Right. Yep,
And you might cringe, but that's okay. Because then
you can look back and say, you know what, I don't want that to be in
my life. And that's where you're building your boundaries and your non-negotiables.
Absolutely. Absolutely. It's great advice. So
(23:33):
THS, you know, we talk about success, redefining success on this podcast.
I would love to know from your perspective, how do you define success today
for yourself? And maybe a little bit about how that's evolved for you over
So I have learned to appreciate time.
I have been through a few things. I
(23:55):
had a four year, very contentious divorce. I
co-parenting with somebody like that is very difficult. Unwinding from
patterns of being married to a true narcissist is
something that took me a long time to do. I think
the most important thing at the end of the day is to
take care of yourself. If
(24:18):
you are not together, I know you've all heard
this in a million different places in a million different ways, but it's the
God's honest truth. I had a four year divorce, super
contentious. I had breast cancer, but
it's not the cancer that led me to nine surgeries
and four and a half years after that every six months. I
(24:40):
have a son with severe anxiety and depression and
dealing with a difficult ex with that and
not taking the blame for everything. I used to feel like, well,
I need to be fixed. I need to fix myself to
make my husband happy. I need to fix myself to help my
son. I need to fix myself because I have to heal from
(25:02):
yet another surgery. And you don't have to fix shit.
You have to be strong and confident and healthy so
that I could recover successfully from those nine
surgeries. So that I had, I knew to seek out
the right people to help me unravel from being married
to a narcissist. So I could align with
(25:26):
strangers and realize this is not an ego thing. My
son has a problem and it's not my problem,
it's his. And there's nothing wrong with him.
He's just wired differently. So
if you are not in a good place for yourself, you
cannot recover from trauma. You cannot move on
(25:47):
from challenges. You can't even face challenges. So
really my top bit of advice for how I got
to where I am is I do make wellness
and fitness a part of my every single day.
I don't kill myself like I used to when I was training for Kilimanjaro, which
(26:08):
by the way had nothing to do with physical challenge, it was mental. It's
way harder mentally than physically to climb that
mountain. So being
healthy is what allowed my body to recover from those surgeries. Being
healthy with therapy has helped me deal with people
and recognize it's not my fault. Maybe they're just not the right person
(26:31):
in my life. And this last year,
I really came to the resolution that I need joy and money
in my life. I need both. Joy
is great. Experts brought Jessica and I a ton of joy. Our
podcast is huge. We're helping hundreds of thousands of
people through divorce with free resources. We're
(26:53):
your girlfriends through it all. We are not lawyers. We're none of
that, but I've been through my fair share. So is she. Plus we've
interviewed over 300 people. So we've got, we've
got stuff to share, right? But it didn't bring me money.
It doesn't mean it wasn't successful because look at my reach. So
how you define success, also for a high achieving woman, you
(27:15):
have to be very mindful of it. So last year I realized I
am successful with ex-experts, but not in the
way I want to be. My experiences bring
me both joy and money. That's my
sweet spot. This is where I want to live. It feels great
to make your own money. It feels great to not have to have a
huge media company behind you and you can still get it
(27:38):
done and do it amazing. And that the
way you're doing it and being open to learning and growing and
connecting is only going to make the
joy and money bucket bigger, right? There's always
room in our heart for more love. When my when I
was going through a divorce, you know, I was always worried, as I'm sure many
people are that, you know, they're going to stop loving me. They're
(28:01):
going to love him more. They're going to love her more. And then, oh, now there's another person
in the picture. Where is all that? How's all that going
to fit? You can love as many people as you want. Yeah,
it's your choice. But again, be good with you. So
For sure. I think that's so beautifully stated because we often hear as
(28:23):
women, take care of yourself, fill your cup first and fill
your bucket. But the way you approach that and
the reason why that's so important is truly beautiful. So
thank you for that. And I really love the work that
you're doing. Where can our listeners learn more about you and the work
So I, my in-person experiences are only in
(28:45):
Northern New Jersey. I call them experiences because
they are impactful beyond the time that it happened. An
event is something on your calendar. It's a doctor's appointment. It's
a phone call. It's a homework assignment. It's a
date. My experiences will next level you.
So if you're in North Jersey, please go to th, just
(29:07):
two letters, dash, the word experiences with
an S on the end, because I have many of them. I
do have Women for Women today, which is focused on Empower, Connect, Inspire,
Learn for every woman. I do have Demystify Metapause
as a special edition of that event. And then I have huge
festivals called the Night Markets. So you can find them
(29:29):
all there. And if you just want to talk and you want to learn
how to grow and how to really tap
Amazing. Amazing. So thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights
and expertise. It's been absolutely, I've had so much
fun chatting with you today. So thank you. Thank you again. And of
(29:52):
course, you can visit my website at gialacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
gialacqua. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. This
is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy. Our mic drops, but
the movement continues. Until next time, your next chapter is
waiting. Take care. That concludes another empowering episode of
Your Future Starts Now. Before we wrap up, I wanna thank this
incredible community of high-achieving women. Your energy, resilience,
(30:16):
and commitment to growth are the driving force behind what we do.
If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate it, leave a review, and don't forget
to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your feedback fuels our
mission to empower high-achieving women just like you. And of
course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women in
your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
(30:36):
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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