August 12, 2025 • 15 mins
Sara & Peter’s story blends tantra, heart, and presence — creating intimacy as a co-created dance. With Britta’s reflections, we explore how couples can deepen both love and desire in everyday life.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
Welcome back to 34 Orgasms, a podcast where we talk about real
intimacy. Today's episode brings us into
the quiet, powerful rhythm of two people who've chosen a
different path, Sarah and Peter.Their story isn't loud.
(00:32):
It doesn't scream for attention,but if you listen closely,
you'll hear something rare. The sound of two people who meet
without needing to prove anything.
Two people who've made space forpresence, for death, for joy.
(00:53):
Not as a performance, but as a way of living.
Sarah is 46. She has a background in dance
and healing work. Her body is her compass, but for
much of her life she ignored it.She gave too much, adjusted too
often, until her body began to say no.
(01:15):
Not in words, but in tension, infatigue, in desire gone silent.
Peter is 53, a man with two adult sons.
He's walked through divorce, grief and deep transformation.
He doesn't talk much, but when he does, it's from the inside.
(01:37):
He spent years trying to live upto a masculine ideal that never
quite fit, until he realised that strength and softness
doesn't cancel out each other, they deepen each other.
They met not in a moment of drama, but in one of truth.
A retreat, a breath, a shared glance and something in them
(01:59):
both said this is different. They don't live together, but
they choose each other. Again and again.
They move between her place and his, though sometimes about his
space become the container for their early explorations. 1
evening, after hours of conversation about life,
(02:20):
childhood, dreams, fears, something shifted.
Sarah was standing by the kitchen table, leaning back,
laughing softly. Peter stepped in, not to claim
her, but to witness her. He touched her arm, her breath
thought. He didn't ask.
Do you want to? He simply stayed present,
(02:44):
waiting, attuned. And slowly, it happened.
She climbed. She climbed onto the table, not
to pause, but to surrender. They undressed each other with
their eyes first, then with their hands.
And there, on the wooden surfacebetween salt and bread crumbs,
they met, not for the first time, but as if every touched
until then had been a rehearsal.And it wasn't fast.
(03:08):
It wasn't goal driven. It was a slow exhale, A descent
into something ancient and new at once.
How often do we think we need the perfect setting?
Candles. Music, a getaway weekend?
But what if it's not about the setting, but about the scene?
(03:30):
What if intimacy isn't built in exotic places, but on kitchen
tables, in honest words, in unhurried evenings, in shared
stillness? For Sarah and Peter, sex is not
an escape, it's a practise, A presence.
They breathe together, touch each other with curiosity, speak
(03:55):
with reverence, even in silence.Sometimes they invite a third
person into their space, not to spice things up but to expand
what's already sacred. It's not a performance, it's a
dialogue, a trio of awareness. They talk a lot, before and
(04:18):
after. Boundaries are clear, desires
are named. And in those rare shared
moments, whether with a man or awoman, it's not about doing
more, it's about feeling more, witnessing each other in a new
light, trusting the bodice. Yes.
And it's no for them adding a third.
(04:41):
It's never about fixing their relationship.
It's an invitation, a Co creation and always, always
grounded in the bond between them, Sarah says.
I didn't know I was allowed to want this much, or that someone
could hold all of it. The hunger, the softness, the
(05:03):
parts of me I hadn't dared show before, Peter adds.
It's not about performing, it's about returning to your body, to
the moment, to what's real. So before we wrap up, I want to
welcome back Britta Kunsa, who'sa sexologist, relationship and
(05:27):
intimacy coach, and she's been listening very closely to the
story about Sarah and Peter. Welcome back, Peter.
Hello. Henrik.
So what are your key takeaways from the story about Sarah and
Peter? Well, my key takeaway is that if
if they were my clients, I mean we have had some stories now of
(05:48):
Linda or Andrea, which are like typical clients in terms of they
come more from a problem driven perspective.
Yeah. And what I can see with Sarah
and Peter is really they are at a really good place already in
the relationship. They have learned to communicate
and to listen and to live their sexuality in a way where they
(06:14):
feel seen, where they feel safe,where they can meet each other,
where they can explore. And that's so yeah, I think
that's that's a beautiful place to start at we.
Can work with the curiosity. Yeah, they're working with the
curiosity. They're exploring.
It's not about, oh, we're doing shitty, what can we change?
(06:36):
It's more about, oh, we're doinggreat, but what could be even
better, You know, what could be even nicer?
And I think that's, of course it's a beautiful point to start
it. And then another thing I took
away from this story is I think it's so beautiful that they
create these, I would call it conscious threesomes.
(06:58):
So it's, it's not about, which is also a common theme.
I have some clients where they, the idea goes like this.
Oh, our sex life isn't working out the way we wanted it to, so
why not invite another person? And Sarah and Peter, they're
coming from a different angle. They're like, our sexuality is
(07:22):
beautiful. Why not invite somebody else in
and explore and witness who we are in the setting with another
person, which is pretty advanced.
It's very advanced and I would say that builds on a lot of good
communication and trust to get to the point.
And then what I believe actuallySarah and Peter has been
(07:43):
managing to cement between themselves so.
Yeah, yeah. And also, I mean, my takeaway
was that they they have the communication, they have clear
rules, boundaries, setting frameworks.
And this is people. Let's go a little bit for those
threesomes because it's really something a lot of people
(08:05):
fantasise about. Yeah, if you ask people, it's
one of the main things, be it women or men, you have to have
this abundance of people to havethree or maybe even more people
joining. And it's, I think it's this
desire for abundance and playfulness.
But then most people, if they really go for it consciously and
(08:27):
they haven't established this trust, security, safety,
communication, threesomes can bevery stressy.
Yeah. And so it's this is really
beautiful what Sarah and Peter created there so.
What do you think men can learn from this episode with Sarah and
Peter? A man can learn that your
(08:50):
partner probably also wants to have a threesome.
If you if you communicate in a good way, you can establish
trust I guess and then. Yes, yeah, because there's this
fear, you know, because it's such a common fantasy, men feel.
Oh, it's such a common male fantasy.
No, it's also a common female fantasy.
(09:12):
Yeah. What do you what do you think
are some of the major hurdles for people to get into the place
where they build that trust? Oh, you mean it's like the
hurdles to not get to this trust, right.
That's I think, well, the hurdles there are some
(09:32):
insecurity. Maybe I have some insecurity
like if my partner wants to haveopen up to another person, it
means that I'm not enough. So one hurdle could be to really
feel I'm with you and you're with me and we are both good
with that. And it's not about we're not
aiming to invite somebody else out of the feeling of lag, but
(09:54):
out of the feeling of we have somuch abundance to share and
let's explore more. So that could be one hurdle.
I'm sure there are a few other ones, but this is you have, I
mean, you have hurdles in terms of jealousy, but jealousy also
leads back to me not feeling worthy enough of having
insecurities. It could be a hurdle to find
(10:16):
somebody who's really open up for a conscious threesome.
That can be a challenge. Yeah.
Whether it's where it's about meeting each other, where it's
about communication and it's notjust about acting out some kind
of sex tape, that could be a hurdle.
I don't know. Do you, do you have another
hurdle in mind, Henrik? No, I think the insecurity 1 is
(10:39):
definitely a key 1. And I would say the jealousy one
would be the one that I think about.
A lot of people might think theyown their partner where it's
it's not coming from places where you choose your partner
every day. And I think that's be one thing
that it's worth thinking about. So what do you think women can
(11:01):
take with them from this episodewith Sermon Peter?
I keep circling back to the threesomes, but well, they can
take away that it can be beautiful to have sex on the
kitchen table between the bread crumbs that, you know, that's.
(11:22):
I think that's one takeaway of the story, that a beautiful
sexuality can happen in the mundane and the everyday life
and that it can unfold the beauty.
But also, yeah, but also taking away that it can be, can be such
a beautiful experience to explore how you are within,
(11:45):
within your relationship if another, if you invite, if you
consciously invite another person into your sexual sex life
with your partner. Yeah.
How it is to be with two men, how it is to be with two women.
I mean, this sort of this is thesame for for men.
(12:07):
Yeah. But what what women can take
away is to not limit themselves to really.
I think that was one important part also of Sarah, right, of
having the experience. I'm not too much.
Maybe, probably, maybe it was her wish.
Yeah. I want to invite in another man.
How does it feel like? I want to invite in another
woman. How does it feel like?
And to not limit yourself that it's possible to create this
(12:32):
within your relationship if if you've done your work on the on
the foundational pillars of communication, safety and also
having created a sex life that you both love.
I think that's a beautiful pointto come from entering 3
threesomes, not coming from the leg.
(12:54):
Thank you to Sarah and Peter, and to everyone daring to step
beyond old rules, old wounds, old expectations.
What they shared wasn't just passion, it was presence, a
reminder that deep intimacy isn't something we achieve, but
(13:16):
something we allow. They didn't arrive at the moment
through techniques or labels. They arrived because they
listened to each other, to the silence between them, to what
the body says when it's fully feels safe enough to open.
And in that safety, pleasure becomes something more than
(13:37):
physical. It becomes truth, connection,
return. Not every relationship dares to
go there. It takes maturity, surrender,
play. It takes knowing that control is
not strength, and the true paralyse in the vulnerability
shared, not guarded. So this story reminds us, you
(14:01):
don't have to be fixed to be loved.
You have to be willing to show up fully, honestly and with
harp. And remember, in book form 34
orgasms will go even deeper. These podcast episodes offer a
taste, but the full stories unfold with more layers, more
intimacy, more truth on the page.
(14:29):
In our next episode, we will have Carrie Elle joining.
She will be talking about how men have been taught to perform
a presence is what women actually crave.
We will talk about slowing down the fear of reaction and why
true intimacy can't exist without safety.
From the ME to era to mastering your own body, the next episode
(14:51):
will make you rethink what it means to be a man.
Until next time.
Welcome back to 34 Orgasms, a podcast where we talk about real
intimacy. Today's episode brings us into
the quiet, powerful rhythm of two people who've chosen a
different path, Sarah and Peter.Their story isn't loud.
(00:32):
It doesn't scream for attention,but if you listen closely,
you'll hear something rare. The sound of two people who meet
without needing to prove anything.
Two people who've made space forpresence, for death, for joy.
(00:53):
Not as a performance, but as a way of living.
Sarah is 46. She has a background in dance
and healing work. Her body is her compass, but for
much of her life she ignored it.She gave too much, adjusted too
often, until her body began to say no.
(01:15):
Not in words, but in tension, infatigue, in desire gone silent.
Peter is 53, a man with two adult sons.
He's walked through divorce, grief and deep transformation.
He doesn't talk much, but when he does, it's from the inside.
(01:37):
He spent years trying to live upto a masculine ideal that never
quite fit, until he realised that strength and softness
doesn't cancel out each other, they deepen each other.
They met not in a moment of drama, but in one of truth.
A retreat, a breath, a shared glance and something in them
(01:59):
both said this is different. They don't live together, but
they choose each other. Again and again.
They move between her place and his, though sometimes about his
space become the container for their early explorations. 1
evening, after hours of conversation about life,
(02:20):
childhood, dreams, fears, something shifted.
Sarah was standing by the kitchen table, leaning back,
laughing softly. Peter stepped in, not to claim
her, but to witness her. He touched her arm, her breath
thought. He didn't ask.
Do you want to? He simply stayed present,
(02:44):
waiting, attuned. And slowly, it happened.
She climbed. She climbed onto the table, not
to pause, but to surrender. They undressed each other with
their eyes first, then with their hands.
And there, on the wooden surfacebetween salt and bread crumbs,
they met, not for the first time, but as if every touched
until then had been a rehearsal.And it wasn't fast.
(03:08):
It wasn't goal driven. It was a slow exhale, A descent
into something ancient and new at once.
How often do we think we need the perfect setting?
Candles. Music, a getaway weekend?
But what if it's not about the setting, but about the scene?
(03:30):
What if intimacy isn't built in exotic places, but on kitchen
tables, in honest words, in unhurried evenings, in shared
stillness? For Sarah and Peter, sex is not
an escape, it's a practise, A presence.
They breathe together, touch each other with curiosity, speak
(03:55):
with reverence, even in silence.Sometimes they invite a third
person into their space, not to spice things up but to expand
what's already sacred. It's not a performance, it's a
dialogue, a trio of awareness. They talk a lot, before and
(04:18):
after. Boundaries are clear, desires
are named. And in those rare shared
moments, whether with a man or awoman, it's not about doing
more, it's about feeling more, witnessing each other in a new
light, trusting the bodice. Yes.
And it's no for them adding a third.
(04:41):
It's never about fixing their relationship.
It's an invitation, a Co creation and always, always
grounded in the bond between them, Sarah says.
I didn't know I was allowed to want this much, or that someone
could hold all of it. The hunger, the softness, the
(05:03):
parts of me I hadn't dared show before, Peter adds.
It's not about performing, it's about returning to your body, to
the moment, to what's real. So before we wrap up, I want to
welcome back Britta Kunsa, who'sa sexologist, relationship and
(05:27):
intimacy coach, and she's been listening very closely to the
story about Sarah and Peter. Welcome back, Peter.
Hello. Henrik.
So what are your key takeaways from the story about Sarah and
Peter? Well, my key takeaway is that if
if they were my clients, I mean we have had some stories now of
(05:48):
Linda or Andrea, which are like typical clients in terms of they
come more from a problem driven perspective.
Yeah. And what I can see with Sarah
and Peter is really they are at a really good place already in
the relationship. They have learned to communicate
and to listen and to live their sexuality in a way where they
(06:14):
feel seen, where they feel safe,where they can meet each other,
where they can explore. And that's so yeah, I think
that's that's a beautiful place to start at we.
Can work with the curiosity. Yeah, they're working with the
curiosity. They're exploring.
It's not about, oh, we're doing shitty, what can we change?
(06:36):
It's more about, oh, we're doinggreat, but what could be even
better, You know, what could be even nicer?
And I think that's, of course it's a beautiful point to start
it. And then another thing I took
away from this story is I think it's so beautiful that they
create these, I would call it conscious threesomes.
(06:58):
So it's, it's not about, which is also a common theme.
I have some clients where they, the idea goes like this.
Oh, our sex life isn't working out the way we wanted it to, so
why not invite another person? And Sarah and Peter, they're
coming from a different angle. They're like, our sexuality is
(07:22):
beautiful. Why not invite somebody else in
and explore and witness who we are in the setting with another
person, which is pretty advanced.
It's very advanced and I would say that builds on a lot of good
communication and trust to get to the point.
And then what I believe actuallySarah and Peter has been
(07:43):
managing to cement between themselves so.
Yeah, yeah. And also, I mean, my takeaway
was that they they have the communication, they have clear
rules, boundaries, setting frameworks.
And this is people. Let's go a little bit for those
threesomes because it's really something a lot of people
(08:05):
fantasise about. Yeah, if you ask people, it's
one of the main things, be it women or men, you have to have
this abundance of people to havethree or maybe even more people
joining. And it's, I think it's this
desire for abundance and playfulness.
But then most people, if they really go for it consciously and
(08:27):
they haven't established this trust, security, safety,
communication, threesomes can bevery stressy.
Yeah. And so it's this is really
beautiful what Sarah and Peter created there so.
What do you think men can learn from this episode with Sarah and
Peter? A man can learn that your
(08:50):
partner probably also wants to have a threesome.
If you if you communicate in a good way, you can establish
trust I guess and then. Yes, yeah, because there's this
fear, you know, because it's such a common fantasy, men feel.
Oh, it's such a common male fantasy.
No, it's also a common female fantasy.
(09:12):
Yeah. What do you what do you think
are some of the major hurdles for people to get into the place
where they build that trust? Oh, you mean it's like the
hurdles to not get to this trust, right.
That's I think, well, the hurdles there are some
(09:32):
insecurity. Maybe I have some insecurity
like if my partner wants to haveopen up to another person, it
means that I'm not enough. So one hurdle could be to really
feel I'm with you and you're with me and we are both good
with that. And it's not about we're not
aiming to invite somebody else out of the feeling of lag, but
(09:54):
out of the feeling of we have somuch abundance to share and
let's explore more. So that could be one hurdle.
I'm sure there are a few other ones, but this is you have, I
mean, you have hurdles in terms of jealousy, but jealousy also
leads back to me not feeling worthy enough of having
insecurities. It could be a hurdle to find
(10:16):
somebody who's really open up for a conscious threesome.
That can be a challenge. Yeah.
Whether it's where it's about meeting each other, where it's
about communication and it's notjust about acting out some kind
of sex tape, that could be a hurdle.
I don't know. Do you, do you have another
hurdle in mind, Henrik? No, I think the insecurity 1 is
(10:39):
definitely a key 1. And I would say the jealousy one
would be the one that I think about.
A lot of people might think theyown their partner where it's
it's not coming from places where you choose your partner
every day. And I think that's be one thing
that it's worth thinking about. So what do you think women can
(11:01):
take with them from this episodewith Sermon Peter?
I keep circling back to the threesomes, but well, they can
take away that it can be beautiful to have sex on the
kitchen table between the bread crumbs that, you know, that's.
(11:22):
I think that's one takeaway of the story, that a beautiful
sexuality can happen in the mundane and the everyday life
and that it can unfold the beauty.
But also, yeah, but also taking away that it can be, can be such
a beautiful experience to explore how you are within,
(11:45):
within your relationship if another, if you invite, if you
consciously invite another person into your sexual sex life
with your partner. Yeah.
How it is to be with two men, how it is to be with two women.
I mean, this sort of this is thesame for for men.
(12:07):
Yeah. But what what women can take
away is to not limit themselves to really.
I think that was one important part also of Sarah, right, of
having the experience. I'm not too much.
Maybe, probably, maybe it was her wish.
Yeah. I want to invite in another man.
How does it feel like? I want to invite in another
woman. How does it feel like?
And to not limit yourself that it's possible to create this
(12:32):
within your relationship if if you've done your work on the on
the foundational pillars of communication, safety and also
having created a sex life that you both love.
I think that's a beautiful pointto come from entering 3
threesomes, not coming from the leg.
(12:54):
Thank you to Sarah and Peter, and to everyone daring to step
beyond old rules, old wounds, old expectations.
What they shared wasn't just passion, it was presence, a
reminder that deep intimacy isn't something we achieve, but
(13:16):
something we allow. They didn't arrive at the moment
through techniques or labels. They arrived because they
listened to each other, to the silence between them, to what
the body says when it's fully feels safe enough to open.
And in that safety, pleasure becomes something more than
(13:37):
physical. It becomes truth, connection,
return. Not every relationship dares to
go there. It takes maturity, surrender,
play. It takes knowing that control is
not strength, and the true paralyse in the vulnerability
shared, not guarded. So this story reminds us, you
(14:01):
don't have to be fixed to be loved.
You have to be willing to show up fully, honestly and with
harp. And remember, in book form 34
orgasms will go even deeper. These podcast episodes offer a
taste, but the full stories unfold with more layers, more
intimacy, more truth on the page.
(14:29):
In our next episode, we will have Carrie Elle joining.
She will be talking about how men have been taught to perform
a presence is what women actually crave.
We will talk about slowing down the fear of reaction and why
true intimacy can't exist without safety.
From the ME to era to mastering your own body, the next episode
(14:51):
will make you rethink what it means to be a man.
Until next time.
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