October 6, 2025 • 44 mins
Can we step into a new story of love — one not built on fear, but on presence?
In part two of Emilia’s journey, we follow her through destructive relationships, fleeting freedoms, and the long road back to herself. With reflections from Mor, we look at how healing begins when we dare to risk the unknown — and open to love without losing ourselves.
✨ A story of collapse, courage, and the first glimpse of freedom.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:11):
Emilia breaking cycles of and fighting light.
Welcome back to 34 O, the podcast where we explore
intimacy, vulnerability, and thequiet revolutions that happen
between two people who dare to stay.
This is the final part of Emilia's story and we would have
more Shavit joining in giving her perspective on Amelia's
(00:31):
journey. We've seen her grow from a child
in shadows to a young woman searching for love in all the
wrong places. And now we follow her through
France, new loves, loss and the slow process of healing we will
go through. Part 4.
The way out into the world, men,freedom and old patterns.
(00:53):
Part 5. Jerome Security, Scent and
restlessness Part 6 Lisa Fire, Desire and broken mirrors Part
79 is between the charts of searching, self sabotage and the
wishing of the future Part 4 Theway out into the world, men,
(01:19):
freedom and old patterns. When Amelia was 20, she packed
her bag and left Sweden. She'd always felt a restless
longing. Even as a child, she and her
friends had planned to run away from home to discover the world.
And now it was happening. She went to North Carolina in
(01:39):
the US as an au pair and stayed for over a year.
A new language, a new culture, and a home that, for the first
time, was in shape by the chaos she had grown up in.
There she began to breathe at her own pace, but she still
carried something inside her, a bull towards the fire, towards
(02:00):
the things that weren't. Still, when she returned to
Sweden, it was as if she was already too big for the place
she had left behind. Freedom had given her a taste
for more. She dreamt of living outside the
norm, away from the predictable.She came into contact with the
Norwegian woman who ran a restaurant in Slovenia, a ski
(02:21):
resort in the Italian Alps. At that time, there were no
vacancies, so Amelia stayed in Sweden for a while longer, and
during that time she started dating Matt, a musician in
Stockholm. It was creative, emotional.
They had a good thing going. But when he ended the
relationship, it was as if something inside her was already
(02:41):
slipping away. She turned back to Asmir, her
old lover. One last dance.
Sexually, they were a good match.
It was dominant, physical, generous.
With him she could feel, enjoy, let go.
But the relationship had no future.
Just last then came the call from Slovenia.
(03:05):
The Norwegian woman offered her a job at a club.
Amelia said yes without hesitation.
She was ready to take the plunge.
And she did. Italy became a whirlwind.
Savinia was snow covered mountains, late nights, laughter
echoing between the slopes and the club where she worked.
(03:25):
There was a party every night, there was wine, movement, the
feeling that nothing could tie her down.
And that was where she met Jan, a man from the South of Sweden.
Secure, stable, Crescent. He wanted her for real, but it
became too much, too accessible.Emilia didn't know what to do
(03:50):
with someone who saw her withoutthe game, without the struggle.
It became too close, too quiet. Instead, she chose Stefano, the
bartender, a guy with yet black eyes, a smile that promised
danger at the 2 on his neck and hands that smelled of drugs and
other women. He wasn't safe, not stable, but
(04:14):
he felt familiar. He reminded her of the parties,
of her childhood, the man comingand going, smoke filling the
room, desire flicking across hermother's face.
This was what Emilia had learnedto call love.
The thing that shaved, the thingthat burned.
She stayed in Italy for almost 8months.
(04:37):
She went skiing, worked late nights, lost herself and found
herself in the same breath. There was something about the
mountains, about the blood of her Serbian ancestry, that made
her not want to leave. She wanted to stay, to build a
life here. For the first time, she felt she
might belong somewhere. But life had other plans.
(05:04):
Part 5 The Rome security scent and restlessness.
She was ready to start a new chapter in Rome.
She had paid the registration fee for interior design school,
but before moving, she wanted toexperience something else,
something unpredictable. That's when Jerome showed up, a
(05:25):
Frenchman in his 40s, handsome but relaxed, with friendly eyes
and a smile that felt unexpectedly genuine in the Club
World she worked in. He was on vacation with some
friends, and they exchanged glances at the bar.
When he left, he didn't leave a phone number, just an e-mail
address and an invitation. Come visit me in France before
(05:46):
you go to Rome. Amelia couldn't resist.
She went together with a friend.They spent a few days in Saint
Tropez, partying, enjoying the sea, late nights.
But it wasn't just decadence. The Rome was different.
It was calm, no mind games, no jealousy, no drama, just
(06:06):
presents. She went home but couldn't get
him out of her mind. She went back alone, and the
second time she was there, she felt, I can live here.
So she moved in. 23, maybe 24 years old, young, brave, or
maybe just thirsty for a different kind of life, a quiet
(06:27):
life. They lived in the countryside in
southern France, vineyards, markets, the Santo, lavender and
earth. She didn't speak a word of
French when she arrived, but shelearned.
She started importing jewellery and setting it at the market.
She blended in. She created her everyday life.
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Jerome was 17 years older and with him came something she
wasn't used to, Stability. There were no storms, no
constant struggle for attention.He saw her, He listened.
It was spiritual, had been on aninner journey and seemed to be
grounded in something deep afterthe first time he cried.
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For him, it wasn't just sex, it was a meeting.
But for Amelia, something was missing.
It started suddenly, a feeling in the background, like the
scent of something you can't identify, but which still
bothers you. And that was exactly it.
It's a scent. It didn't suit her, She felt it
(07:33):
from the very beginning. She ignored it, tried to explain
it away, but her body knew something wasn't right.
Sex became less frequent. She was young, vibrant, horny
and attractive. She was bubbling with energy.
Her body wanted more than she was giving her.
One evening she tried to create some magic.
(07:56):
She had planned everything. Sexy lingerie, candles
throughout the house. The dog locked up so he couldn't
disturb them. She wanted to seduce him.
She wanted to feel desired. She wanted to feel alive, but he
wasn't there, not with her, not in her body, and it felt like
(08:17):
she was forcing him to have sex.It was an experience she carried
with shame, not because she had done anything wrong, but because
she had forced herself to close her eyes to what she already
knew. After four years, it was over.
There were no screams, no betrayals, just a growing
(08:38):
emptiness, a restlessness she could no longer ignore.
She missed the pulse, the sounds, the life for the city.
But perhaps most of all, she missed herself.
And back home in Sweden, there was a mother who more than once
had said please, not right for you.
(08:58):
She finally listened, packed herbags and went home.
Part 6. Lisa Fire, desire and broken
mirrors. After years in France, she was
free but lost. She wanted to go to New York,
(09:19):
dreamt of the big city, the pulse, the art.
At first this was clean shopping.
That's where the next chapter took shape.
She began studying art history at the same time she worked at a
short term residence for people with Down syndrome and other
functional variations. It was a meaningful job, full of
(09:40):
warmth and presence. But that wasn't where she found
her next awakening. It was in another person, Lisa.
Androgenous, charismatic, intense, and with an unusual
habit, seducing straight women. She had already had two emilias
before this one, and when their eyes met, something ignited.
(10:04):
Immediately. Emilia fell hard.
It was like being in an electricfield.
Her skin vibrated just from being in the same room, Her face
turned red, she started to sweat.
She felt like a virgin again, lost, curious, terrified and
newly in love. The first time they had sex was
(10:27):
tentative, cautious, not particularly remarkable.
But the second time, everything exploded.
The marathon sex, new orgasms, new songs in her body, in her
soul, in her desire. They moved in together quickly,
too quickly. Lisa put Amelia on a pedestal,
(10:50):
almost as if she couldn't believe she disturbed her.
And Amelia, who carried her own wounds, let herself be carried
away, let herself be loved in what overwhelming way that felt
like a rush but often lacks roots.
The relationship became a storm of desire and fear.
They loved deeply, but out of insecurity, jealousy hung like
(11:14):
over a cloud over their day, everyday life.
Lisa reacted strongly to men wholooked at Amelia.
Amelia, in turn, became insecurewhen Lisa thought contact with
her ex, and perhaps even more sowhen she thought she saw Lisa
flirting with her mother and howher mother flirted back.
They lived in a bubble, a relationship that needed to be
(11:36):
protected from everything outside.
But bubbles can't withstand pressure.
Lisa proposed to Emilia on her birthday.
It was beautiful and at the sametime, fragile.
The last year became increasingly chaotic.
Arguments, suspicion, need for control.
The security Emilia sought in Lisa, turning to a prison.
(12:01):
Finally, one night, Lisa took Emilia's phone, locked herself
in the bathroom, and started reading messages out loud.
She mocked her, questioned her, pressured her.
Emilia exploded. She kicked in the glass door.
Blood, tears, chaos. They didn't speak after that.
(12:21):
A few weeks later, the police called.
They were looking for her father.
And then something even deeper inside her broke her foundation.
So what do you see as the biggest obstacles for men in
truly connecting with a woman? First of all, I want to say that
(12:45):
in order for anyone to connect with someone else, a man and a
woman, one must be connected to themselves first.
We talked, we talked about that in some of the previous episodes
that you need self love, right? Exactly.
Self love, self-awareness, self compassion.
Yeah, I think for men being connected to themselves and show
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emotions, which is in in the blueprint of men.
If we talked about women, they carry shame in the inherited way
and almost all women carried it.So almost all men carrying in a
similar way shame around feelingitself and being able to show
vulnerability itself. So the biggest obstacle for men
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is truly to first being able to be present with their own
emotions and then to have the brave enough to actually express
them and hold them for themselves and from for their
partner. And so presence is key, but the
obstacle is that being present, being with what it is, it's been
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taught for years and been inherited for men that it's a
sign of weakness. And so therefore a lot of men
are being disconnected or performing or dominating in in a
way that they are being avoidingto feel what it is that is alive
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in them. And when that happens, what you
describe for me, that means thatthe man doesn't necessarily see
the woman or the how you create something together.
You only focus on actually getting a release yourself in
that case, right? Yes, yes, and and again, many
most of the times it's unconsciousness as well.
(14:39):
Not many men arrive with their gender.
I will just think of myself and have sex and calm.
A lot of them comes from actually the agenda.
I want to prove myself so I willbe worthy for her to look at me.
And that translate into something very dominant and very
powerful and very macho, which leaves both both of them drained
(15:03):
at the end of this performance. Yeah.
And it's then it, then it's performance and not presence.
Exactly. Yeah.
And exactly. And it's exactly also where the
opportunity to to break it is tobring the presence, to bring the
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vulnerability, to invite it, to practise it, to communicate it.
And this is the the gateway to intimacy, to true intimacy.
And in the case of Amelia, she, you know, subconsciously, she
met both men who were violent, but also men who were stable but
felt too close. So how can we understand that
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dynamic? Because I think she felt like
she was reacting differently here.
And she also had a relationship with a woman for a few years as
well, right? Yeah, this is cycling exactly
back to the same question we spoke about earlier, where nerve
system will always prefer a familiar hell than an unfamiliar
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heaven. And so universe the world will
represent with Amelia and with for all of us two sides of same
coin, our blueprint, our currentblueprint and the blueprint that
we would like to rewire to be. So for Amelia, it will represent
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the violent men, which is what she knows, what she is used to,
what her nerve system, even though it's a hell, it's a
familiar one and therefore drawnto.
But it will also represent her with men that are representing
the new blueprint that is available for her.
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If she will do the work and willbe able to rewire before she
will do the work and before bringing awareness that this is
actually the invitation, this isactually the growth, this is
actually what you're longing for.
She will need to do work with herself because with a man that
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is stable and safe, her nervous system will actually be confused
because it's unfamiliar and willlook like a threat.
I will say it again, because this is like so, so deep and
it's where where all the the thewisdom sits.
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Actually for the outside, it maylook like why am I drawn to
this? This is danger.
Why can't I be comfortable there?
I want the other, but the body which speaks first, which sends
signals to the brain, to the thought patterns to the story
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and creates the reality, is feeling more comfortable in this
environment because this is whatit knows.
And therefore keep on drawing and pulling you back to that
environment. And when you are finally being
able to taste and try something that you truly long for and
want, the body perceive it as a threat because it's the
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unfamiliar heaven. And so that is giving a thought
pattern of too boring or too tootoo much or too little or too
too feminine or whatever you're making in your mind about a
stable man, an honest man, a safe man, which will then make
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you act on it. Whatever action will it be that
will make you withdraw from it. Yeah.
And how we can break this cycle again. 1st we always need to
bring awareness. We cannot heal what we cannot
see. Then we need to heal the parts
in us that are asking for healing.
(19:04):
Which for Amelia will be to really really land into her body
and her nerve system and teach her nerve system and herself
what it means to feel safe and loved and complete and whole for
who she truly is. And then from that two spaces we
can start, create and manifest and and rewire our subconscious
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and create new blueprints which will then be manifested in our
physical world to the relationship that we want, the
career that we want, the the partner that we want, the sex
that we want, the intimacy that we want, the body that we want,
etcetera. Yeah, that's a beautiful way of
summing it up. More so from a man, from a man's
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point of view, how can men become better at creating
security for a woman without maybe losing their their own
power or energy if you will, butcreating more of a better
balance? This is really, really important
way of of asking as well, Henrikand I would like to put the
light back into your question itself.
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There is this, there is a tie, there is an A limiting tie
between creating safety for someone else, meaning I would
lose something for myself. And this limiting dynamic is not
only in in safety and and power,it's in many, many other things
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that when I do for someone else,when I create for something for
someone else, I may lose for myself.
So first I want to to unpack that and to reframe it because
when we are doing something thatis bigger than us, we are always
expanding what is already existing in us.
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So I would like to reframe that by actually creating safety.
If we talk about safety and power, we will deepen the power
of us so we will not lose. This is the first thing that I
would like to put the intention and reframe.
And now I want to really go deepin why by creating safety to to
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someone else, a man, to a woman,he's actually deepening his
power because what is truly power?
And I'm talking about really theessence of power.
Not power that lead by control and fear and money in that
sense, but power to be really a powerful human being.
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So the way I see it, power is being able to be in your body
with whatever it is that is living in you in the present
moment without bringing the pastor the future into the current
moment and being able to see it,feel it, express it, and not
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collapse into it and not avoid it.
So when when we are talking about creating safety, if a man
is fully present in himself and he's able to hold himself with
whatever it is that is going forhim.
And then holding the feminine, the divine feminine, with
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whatever it is that is going on for her, without collapsing and
without controlling, but truly with presence and being, you
become the most powerful masculine that you can be.
I would agree on that. And I think we had a previous
episode where we talked about how safety and getting turned on
are actually not opposites of each other, but they're
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prerequisites of each other, requirements of each other. 100
percent, 100%. So this is just.
The underlying and turn on is isa very like, I love turning on.
Yeah, I love the language of turning on.
But we need to understand that what is truly happened in the in
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the biological sense of turning on is the ability to open up.
The ability to open up is when Iam fully relaxed in my nerve
system and then all my body is relaxed, which is allowing the
feminine to fully open up. And that can happen only
naturally, beautifully, when she's feeling safe in the
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environment. And so for men, it just looks
different because it's a different mechanics.
But I just love the knowledge ofactually they are actually
requirements of each other season.
Definitely, definitely. Part 7 between shorts and
(23:51):
searching Stockholm. Stillness and a glimmer of
light. After Lisa disappeared from her
life and her father was found dead the day before her 30th
birthday, everything inside Amelia went silent.
Something fell apart and something slowly began to build
itself up again. She stayed in lean shopping for
(24:12):
another year, but her body wanted to move on for so long.
To be away, home to France, to something familiar, but also to
something new. But first, she needed to save up
money. She chose Stockholm, but it
wasn't the city she remembered from her younger years.
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This time it was a refuge. She was broken after her
father's suicide, her failed relationship with Lisa, and the
deep rift with her mother. She felt rootless, exposed.
For two years she lived without romantic relationships.
No men, no desires that would lead her away from herself.
(24:52):
She worked in head hunting, she kept up appearances, but the
real work was happening inside her.
In silence. She went to therapy, started
meditating, went on a silent retreat, and for the first time
she turned her gaze inward for real.
Slowly she began to shine from within.
(25:13):
She went from wearing the victim's cloak to asking what is
my responsibility in all this? At the same time, another fire
was awakened in her. She became involved in a
volunteer project for vulnerablewomen.
She listened to their stories soher own life reflected in them.
Addiction, abuse, insecurity. She wanted to be part of the
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change, make the world a better place to help others find their
voice. Empowerment was no longer just a
word, It became her path. But the first for love remained
a deep longing for closeness, for being someone else's home.
After two years in Stockholm, when something inside her had
(25:59):
begun to heal, she returned to France.
She wasn't ready, not really. And like so many times before,
she threw herself headlong into something new without thinking
it through. A man, A relationship.
Unhealthy confirmation rather than love.
Intensity rather than security. She didn't see it then, but soon
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it would become clear she wasn'tin France to find a man, she was
there to find herself. Part 8 Self sabotage, Shadows
and mirrors. France again.
A step that was supposed to be the beginning of something new,
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but instead became a retreat into something old.
Amelia was 32 when she met Lucien, who was younger than her
but embodied something familiar.Chaos, partying, detachment,
cocaine, girls, everything she had promised herself she would
leave behind. But it started innocently
(27:08):
enough. A little flirting, a few nights,
a feeling of being desired, needed.
She thought it was just a fling.When you're lonely, when your
dog, your most loyal companion, had passed away, when the world
had shut down in the shadow of apandemic, it's easy to confuse
closeness with love. She didn't fall for Lucia.
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She fell out of herself. The sex was empty.
It was as if he was sleeping with his own reflection.
There was no presence, no tenderness, just a body that
took never met. She saw it but choose to stay.
She told herself it was just a hole to fill, but the price was
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high. Everything she had built up over
the years in Stockholm, self respect, self-awareness,
presence was quietly destroyed. She began to self harm in the
most subtle way, by staying in something that was eating away
at her soul bit by bit. When she finally broke up with
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him, Lucien refused to let go. He stalked her, called her from
a hidden number, stood up outside her door.
He went on for over a year. She blocked him, ignored him,
but he refused to understand. They took a male friend to call
Lucia and Lai, saying that they were now dating before it
finally went quiet. Her friends, those safe,
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grounded people who never judged, offer her a refuge, a
red sub convertible, a house in Normandy.
Time to just be. She drove N with the wind in her
hair and pain in her chest. In Normandy, she cried, walked,
wrote, let her body breathe. It took a few weeks to heal.
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A step in the right direction. And then came Marseille in 2023.
She moved S, not just geographically, but emotionally.
She came to a city where the seamet the mountains, where the sun
made her skin glow. It was there that she found her
place. The summer was beautiful.
She didn't date. She didn't need anyone.
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She had friends, conversations, evenings with wine, music and
laughter. For the first time in a long
time, there was no chase, no void to fill.
She was almost old. But then he showed up.
Pascal married 19 years older, aman carrying his own shadows.
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They began a relationship not out of hope for the future, but
out of reflection. He saw her weaknesses.
She exposed his. It was never meant to last, but
it became important anyway, because the relationship with
Pascal awakened something in hera final reminder you can hide
anywhere. She saw her own patterns in him.
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His avoidance, his fear of vulnerability is half truth.
The relationship ended in early 2025, and it wasn't with
sadness, but with clarity. Part 9.
The vision of the future. She remembers it so clearly on
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August day in Paris, the heat still clinging to her skin and
with that first hint of autumn in the wind.
She was sitting in Saint Germain, in a small restaurant
with crisp tablecloths and a glass of wine reflecting the
evening light. She took out a notebook and
wrote a letter to herself, 10 years ahead.
A promise, almost, or a prayer, dear Emilia, she wrote.
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I know you're there now, in yourhome, with movement, with
children's feet on the floor, with laughter, in the rooms,
with the man who holds you, seesyou and you're finally safe.
Not because you're hiding, but because you've chosen this.
She could see it in front of her.
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A home that smells of lemon, coffee and wood trench in the
soul and heart, but with Scandinavian simplicity and
warmth. It is beautiful but not perfect.
Colourful children's things stands next to designer chairs.
Food is cooked with friends. There is laughter, discussion,
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tears and hugs. There is movement.
Children are different ages, some her own, some perhaps bonus
children. They talk about the world, about
love, about art and war. The door is always open.
Someone comes in with wine, someone else cooks.
Life happens. And there he is, her husband,
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self-employed, one of those people who doesn't need to say
much to feel present, secure, a little shy but deep, a man who
also carried burdens others chosen to grow, not hide.
They are best friends and lovers, with a sex life that is
vibrant, playful, sensual, whereneither has lost themselves but
(32:29):
both have found home. They have date nights, travel
often, sometimes just the two ofthem, sometimes the whole
family. Italy, New York, Barcelona, the
Alps. She lectures, sells homes where
others can feel safe and writes books, articles, maybe an
(32:50):
autobiography. We have a house in Sweden, an
apartment in Paris and a place in the South of France.
Not for status, but because theylove all the three places, all
our home in different ways. And sometimes, when the children
are asleep and the music is playing softly from the kitchen,
she sits down with a glass of wine in her hand.
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Maybe he's standing there, wiping down a cutting board.
She looks at him and knows. I chose this.
I chose myself, and I let go of what once tried to destroy me.
It never turned out the way she thought it would.
It turned out better. What does inner child healing
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mean, particularly now in the case of Amelia, and where would
you even start? So in general speaking, I will
start with the general of inner child what it is and then we
will we can dive into Amelia. So inner child healing means
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tending the little girl or the little boy that are inside each
and every one of us who still feels unseen or unsafe or
unworthy for love, for connection, for attention and we
need, we are requested, we are invited to re parent these boys
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and girls that are living in us.So this is what Inner Child
Healing mean in a very vast way of looking.
For Amelia. It's really about landing back
in her body and in her nerve system and teaches herself that
you are safe, you are whole for who you are.
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You are loved and seen by me, bythe adult Amelia, and I will be
the parent for you, both the father and the mother that you
didn't have and that didn't provide for you the basic needs
of love, safety and belonging. And I will now take this in
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responsibility and ownership to be this space for you whenever
you need. And it looks.
It can look in many different practises in somatic work, body
work, journaling, meditation, regression work, visualisation.
Where do you start? I would say you start by if you
(35:43):
want to do it yourself, you're always welcome to start really
asking what it is that is repeating in my life.
To really sit with yourself and journal about what it is that is
repeating in my life. If it's in the in the space of
relationships or career or whatever it is and really start
seeing what have I learned aboutmyself in that space, in that
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sector when I was smaller and start bringing awareness.
This is the beginning of all, all healing because we cannot
heal what we don't see and we cannot heal what we don't
understand and are aware too. So the first step is start to
really look at ourselves, at ourlives and to see the common
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threads that are repeating in our life and to and to start
questioning how old am I when I'm experiencing that same
experience again and again? What sensations I have in my
body, what thoughts patterns come to mind?
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How does it make me feel? What emotions are there?
And to really start seeing the, the patterns.
And then then I would recommend to to go to someone that can
hold space for you to start exploring these memories in
those moments in time and bring awareness to the unknown and
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start healing slowly, slowly, those parts that are asking for
attention and validation and love and care.
And in the case of Amelia, then what do you feel?
What do you feel she needs to the journey she's on SO
speaking? So, so in the case of Amelia, as
(37:42):
as I was mentioning, it's it's about because it's from such a
young age, the absence of the male and the dynamic of intimacy
itself with mom that is withdrawing is that there is
there is no safety. And so for Amelia and
specifically it will require work with her nerve system and
(38:03):
with her body and with rewiring her limiting beliefs about
herself worth and about securitywithin herself and with other
people. And this is beautiful work, if
she will choose to, to start walking in that path and to,
yeah, come home to her body and to herself and her to her worth.
(38:31):
Yeah. And I mean we saw that Emilia
often sought external validation.
And how do you think this can beturned into like a self
validation or something of innersecurity for her?
Because she has obviously done alot of work.
She also has been manifesting what her life will look like in
the future. Yeah, so like, like we like we
(38:54):
said already, but we can wrap itup in in the summary.
So Amelia learned to seek worth outside of herself, like most of
us when we are kids. Yeah.
And because love for her was conditional growing up OK, she
learned how she needs to eat in order for someone to maybe stay
(39:16):
or maybe give her what it is that she need.
OK. For her the shift will need to
be from giving it the power outside.
By understanding what she worth from the feedback of the outside
is to bring the inner authority inside.
(39:37):
Yeah. Is is to start really drop in
her body and start listening. What is it that my body's asking
me now? What is it that my heart is
asking me now? And to start follow with her
actions those signals. And this is the alignment that
(39:58):
we were talking about in the beginning of the session.
Yeah, Is when I'm really fully listening to my desires and my
body where it's feeling contraction, I don't go there.
I cut this act that is making mefeel like that, or where it's
feeling more expansion. I start taking more and more
(40:20):
actions that will bring me this sensation, and it's aligned with
this sensation. And so listening inwards,
choosing herself, building safety in her own body, in her
own nerve system, then she's starting to reconnect with her
(40:44):
inner voice, reconnect with her inner authority.
And then it's not outsourced. So if you were to give one piece
of advice to listeners who recognise themselves in Amelia's
journey, what would that be? It's a really, really powerful
(41:05):
question and thank you for asking it.
So I can really give one point to everyone here.
So whether or not you find yourself in Amelia's story per
SE, or if it's something similar, or if you're stuck in
any loop or patterns or repeating the same mistakes, you
(41:28):
don't see me, but I'm doing likemistakes.
It's not really mistakes. Then I'll first, first, first
want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you and that
you're not broken and the only thing that you are is a human
being. And this is mechanical,
(41:48):
automatic, and universal. With that said, it doesn't have
to continue to be that way. It doesn't have to continue to
be the rest of your life and whoyou are.
So I would say your actions, your patterns, your story, and
(42:12):
not even your emotions are not who you are, not truly.
And so when you bring awareness to it and you can start
disattached from the identity ofhow you know yourself and the
patterns and and the men you have brought into your life or
(42:32):
the women you're attracting or the work or whatever it is that
is repeating. When you can start bringing
space and disattach, you can start rewire, heal and act from
a different space, and then you will also start seeing the
result in the physical world andcreate the life for yourself
(42:54):
that you wish so. It's all available to everyone,
each and every one of us as human being.
I'm not speaking from any pedestal.
I'm still doing the work myself.I'm still bringing into my own
awareness and consciousness whatit is that is a blind spot for
me, and I do so with my own mentors and with my own guides.
(43:19):
But it is available. We don't have to keep repeating
and suffering. We can rewire for something that
is better for the heaven that isunfamiliar.
And that's a beautiful way of summing it up more.
It was a pleasure to to talk to you Henrik.
Thank you for having me again and allowing me, yeah, to do
(43:42):
what I love to do, which is talking about these topics, but
also like really be a space and a voice to really bring this far
and wide in this podcast. And yeah, and thank you for
having me. Emilia's story is not just about
pain, but about resilience to chaos, betrayal and loss.
(44:06):
She chose to heal and in her vision of the future, she
reminds us all it never turns out the way we thought it would.
Sometimes it turns out better. I see you next time on 34 O Stay
present and stay safe.
Emilia breaking cycles of and fighting light.
Welcome back to 34 O, the podcast where we explore
intimacy, vulnerability, and thequiet revolutions that happen
between two people who dare to stay.
This is the final part of Emilia's story and we would have
more Shavit joining in giving her perspective on Amelia's
(00:31):
journey. We've seen her grow from a child
in shadows to a young woman searching for love in all the
wrong places. And now we follow her through
France, new loves, loss and the slow process of healing we will
go through. Part 4.
The way out into the world, men,freedom and old patterns.
(00:53):
Part 5. Jerome Security, Scent and
restlessness Part 6 Lisa Fire, Desire and broken mirrors Part
79 is between the charts of searching, self sabotage and the
wishing of the future Part 4 Theway out into the world, men,
(01:19):
freedom and old patterns. When Amelia was 20, she packed
her bag and left Sweden. She'd always felt a restless
longing. Even as a child, she and her
friends had planned to run away from home to discover the world.
And now it was happening. She went to North Carolina in
(01:39):
the US as an au pair and stayed for over a year.
A new language, a new culture, and a home that, for the first
time, was in shape by the chaos she had grown up in.
There she began to breathe at her own pace, but she still
carried something inside her, a bull towards the fire, towards
(02:00):
the things that weren't. Still, when she returned to
Sweden, it was as if she was already too big for the place
she had left behind. Freedom had given her a taste
for more. She dreamt of living outside the
norm, away from the predictable.She came into contact with the
Norwegian woman who ran a restaurant in Slovenia, a ski
(02:21):
resort in the Italian Alps. At that time, there were no
vacancies, so Amelia stayed in Sweden for a while longer, and
during that time she started dating Matt, a musician in
Stockholm. It was creative, emotional.
They had a good thing going. But when he ended the
relationship, it was as if something inside her was already
(02:41):
slipping away. She turned back to Asmir, her
old lover. One last dance.
Sexually, they were a good match.
It was dominant, physical, generous.
With him she could feel, enjoy, let go.
But the relationship had no future.
Just last then came the call from Slovenia.
(03:05):
The Norwegian woman offered her a job at a club.
Amelia said yes without hesitation.
She was ready to take the plunge.
And she did. Italy became a whirlwind.
Savinia was snow covered mountains, late nights, laughter
echoing between the slopes and the club where she worked.
(03:25):
There was a party every night, there was wine, movement, the
feeling that nothing could tie her down.
And that was where she met Jan, a man from the South of Sweden.
Secure, stable, Crescent. He wanted her for real, but it
became too much, too accessible.Emilia didn't know what to do
(03:50):
with someone who saw her withoutthe game, without the struggle.
It became too close, too quiet. Instead, she chose Stefano, the
bartender, a guy with yet black eyes, a smile that promised
danger at the 2 on his neck and hands that smelled of drugs and
other women. He wasn't safe, not stable, but
(04:14):
he felt familiar. He reminded her of the parties,
of her childhood, the man comingand going, smoke filling the
room, desire flicking across hermother's face.
This was what Emilia had learnedto call love.
The thing that shaved, the thingthat burned.
She stayed in Italy for almost 8months.
(04:37):
She went skiing, worked late nights, lost herself and found
herself in the same breath. There was something about the
mountains, about the blood of her Serbian ancestry, that made
her not want to leave. She wanted to stay, to build a
life here. For the first time, she felt she
might belong somewhere. But life had other plans.
(05:04):
Part 5 The Rome security scent and restlessness.
She was ready to start a new chapter in Rome.
She had paid the registration fee for interior design school,
but before moving, she wanted toexperience something else,
something unpredictable. That's when Jerome showed up, a
(05:25):
Frenchman in his 40s, handsome but relaxed, with friendly eyes
and a smile that felt unexpectedly genuine in the Club
World she worked in. He was on vacation with some
friends, and they exchanged glances at the bar.
When he left, he didn't leave a phone number, just an e-mail
address and an invitation. Come visit me in France before
(05:46):
you go to Rome. Amelia couldn't resist.
She went together with a friend.They spent a few days in Saint
Tropez, partying, enjoying the sea, late nights.
But it wasn't just decadence. The Rome was different.
It was calm, no mind games, no jealousy, no drama, just
(06:06):
presents. She went home but couldn't get
him out of her mind. She went back alone, and the
second time she was there, she felt, I can live here.
So she moved in. 23, maybe 24 years old, young, brave, or
maybe just thirsty for a different kind of life, a quiet
(06:27):
life. They lived in the countryside in
southern France, vineyards, markets, the Santo, lavender and
earth. She didn't speak a word of
French when she arrived, but shelearned.
She started importing jewellery and setting it at the market.
She blended in. She created her everyday life.
(06:49):
Jerome was 17 years older and with him came something she
wasn't used to, Stability. There were no storms, no
constant struggle for attention.He saw her, He listened.
It was spiritual, had been on aninner journey and seemed to be
grounded in something deep afterthe first time he cried.
(07:11):
For him, it wasn't just sex, it was a meeting.
But for Amelia, something was missing.
It started suddenly, a feeling in the background, like the
scent of something you can't identify, but which still
bothers you. And that was exactly it.
It's a scent. It didn't suit her, She felt it
(07:33):
from the very beginning. She ignored it, tried to explain
it away, but her body knew something wasn't right.
Sex became less frequent. She was young, vibrant, horny
and attractive. She was bubbling with energy.
Her body wanted more than she was giving her.
One evening she tried to create some magic.
(07:56):
She had planned everything. Sexy lingerie, candles
throughout the house. The dog locked up so he couldn't
disturb them. She wanted to seduce him.
She wanted to feel desired. She wanted to feel alive, but he
wasn't there, not with her, not in her body, and it felt like
(08:17):
she was forcing him to have sex.It was an experience she carried
with shame, not because she had done anything wrong, but because
she had forced herself to close her eyes to what she already
knew. After four years, it was over.
There were no screams, no betrayals, just a growing
(08:38):
emptiness, a restlessness she could no longer ignore.
She missed the pulse, the sounds, the life for the city.
But perhaps most of all, she missed herself.
And back home in Sweden, there was a mother who more than once
had said please, not right for you.
(08:58):
She finally listened, packed herbags and went home.
Part 6. Lisa Fire, desire and broken
mirrors. After years in France, she was
free but lost. She wanted to go to New York,
(09:19):
dreamt of the big city, the pulse, the art.
At first this was clean shopping.
That's where the next chapter took shape.
She began studying art history at the same time she worked at a
short term residence for people with Down syndrome and other
functional variations. It was a meaningful job, full of
(09:40):
warmth and presence. But that wasn't where she found
her next awakening. It was in another person, Lisa.
Androgenous, charismatic, intense, and with an unusual
habit, seducing straight women. She had already had two emilias
before this one, and when their eyes met, something ignited.
(10:04):
Immediately. Emilia fell hard.
It was like being in an electricfield.
Her skin vibrated just from being in the same room, Her face
turned red, she started to sweat.
She felt like a virgin again, lost, curious, terrified and
newly in love. The first time they had sex was
(10:27):
tentative, cautious, not particularly remarkable.
But the second time, everything exploded.
The marathon sex, new orgasms, new songs in her body, in her
soul, in her desire. They moved in together quickly,
too quickly. Lisa put Amelia on a pedestal,
(10:50):
almost as if she couldn't believe she disturbed her.
And Amelia, who carried her own wounds, let herself be carried
away, let herself be loved in what overwhelming way that felt
like a rush but often lacks roots.
The relationship became a storm of desire and fear.
They loved deeply, but out of insecurity, jealousy hung like
(11:14):
over a cloud over their day, everyday life.
Lisa reacted strongly to men wholooked at Amelia.
Amelia, in turn, became insecurewhen Lisa thought contact with
her ex, and perhaps even more sowhen she thought she saw Lisa
flirting with her mother and howher mother flirted back.
They lived in a bubble, a relationship that needed to be
(11:36):
protected from everything outside.
But bubbles can't withstand pressure.
Lisa proposed to Emilia on her birthday.
It was beautiful and at the sametime, fragile.
The last year became increasingly chaotic.
Arguments, suspicion, need for control.
The security Emilia sought in Lisa, turning to a prison.
(12:01):
Finally, one night, Lisa took Emilia's phone, locked herself
in the bathroom, and started reading messages out loud.
She mocked her, questioned her, pressured her.
Emilia exploded. She kicked in the glass door.
Blood, tears, chaos. They didn't speak after that.
(12:21):
A few weeks later, the police called.
They were looking for her father.
And then something even deeper inside her broke her foundation.
So what do you see as the biggest obstacles for men in
truly connecting with a woman? First of all, I want to say that
(12:45):
in order for anyone to connect with someone else, a man and a
woman, one must be connected to themselves first.
We talked, we talked about that in some of the previous episodes
that you need self love, right? Exactly.
Self love, self-awareness, self compassion.
Yeah, I think for men being connected to themselves and show
(13:13):
emotions, which is in in the blueprint of men.
If we talked about women, they carry shame in the inherited way
and almost all women carried it.So almost all men carrying in a
similar way shame around feelingitself and being able to show
vulnerability itself. So the biggest obstacle for men
(13:33):
is truly to first being able to be present with their own
emotions and then to have the brave enough to actually express
them and hold them for themselves and from for their
partner. And so presence is key, but the
obstacle is that being present, being with what it is, it's been
(13:57):
taught for years and been inherited for men that it's a
sign of weakness. And so therefore a lot of men
are being disconnected or performing or dominating in in a
way that they are being avoidingto feel what it is that is alive
(14:17):
in them. And when that happens, what you
describe for me, that means thatthe man doesn't necessarily see
the woman or the how you create something together.
You only focus on actually getting a release yourself in
that case, right? Yes, yes, and and again, many
most of the times it's unconsciousness as well.
(14:39):
Not many men arrive with their gender.
I will just think of myself and have sex and calm.
A lot of them comes from actually the agenda.
I want to prove myself so I willbe worthy for her to look at me.
And that translate into something very dominant and very
powerful and very macho, which leaves both both of them drained
(15:03):
at the end of this performance. Yeah.
And it's then it, then it's performance and not presence.
Exactly. Yeah.
And exactly. And it's exactly also where the
opportunity to to break it is tobring the presence, to bring the
(15:23):
vulnerability, to invite it, to practise it, to communicate it.
And this is the the gateway to intimacy, to true intimacy.
And in the case of Amelia, she, you know, subconsciously, she
met both men who were violent, but also men who were stable but
felt too close. So how can we understand that
(15:45):
dynamic? Because I think she felt like
she was reacting differently here.
And she also had a relationship with a woman for a few years as
well, right? Yeah, this is cycling exactly
back to the same question we spoke about earlier, where nerve
system will always prefer a familiar hell than an unfamiliar
(16:07):
heaven. And so universe the world will
represent with Amelia and with for all of us two sides of same
coin, our blueprint, our currentblueprint and the blueprint that
we would like to rewire to be. So for Amelia, it will represent
(16:32):
the violent men, which is what she knows, what she is used to,
what her nerve system, even though it's a hell, it's a
familiar one and therefore drawnto.
But it will also represent her with men that are representing
the new blueprint that is available for her.
(16:54):
If she will do the work and willbe able to rewire before she
will do the work and before bringing awareness that this is
actually the invitation, this isactually the growth, this is
actually what you're longing for.
She will need to do work with herself because with a man that
(17:15):
is stable and safe, her nervous system will actually be confused
because it's unfamiliar and willlook like a threat.
I will say it again, because this is like so, so deep and
it's where where all the the thewisdom sits.
(17:39):
Actually for the outside, it maylook like why am I drawn to
this? This is danger.
Why can't I be comfortable there?
I want the other, but the body which speaks first, which sends
signals to the brain, to the thought patterns to the story
(17:59):
and creates the reality, is feeling more comfortable in this
environment because this is whatit knows.
And therefore keep on drawing and pulling you back to that
environment. And when you are finally being
able to taste and try something that you truly long for and
want, the body perceive it as a threat because it's the
(18:22):
unfamiliar heaven. And so that is giving a thought
pattern of too boring or too tootoo much or too little or too
too feminine or whatever you're making in your mind about a
stable man, an honest man, a safe man, which will then make
(18:43):
you act on it. Whatever action will it be that
will make you withdraw from it. Yeah.
And how we can break this cycle again. 1st we always need to
bring awareness. We cannot heal what we cannot
see. Then we need to heal the parts
in us that are asking for healing.
(19:04):
Which for Amelia will be to really really land into her body
and her nerve system and teach her nerve system and herself
what it means to feel safe and loved and complete and whole for
who she truly is. And then from that two spaces we
can start, create and manifest and and rewire our subconscious
(19:28):
and create new blueprints which will then be manifested in our
physical world to the relationship that we want, the
career that we want, the the partner that we want, the sex
that we want, the intimacy that we want, the body that we want,
etcetera. Yeah, that's a beautiful way of
summing it up. More so from a man, from a man's
(19:53):
point of view, how can men become better at creating
security for a woman without maybe losing their their own
power or energy if you will, butcreating more of a better
balance? This is really, really important
way of of asking as well, Henrikand I would like to put the
light back into your question itself.
(20:15):
There is this, there is a tie, there is an A limiting tie
between creating safety for someone else, meaning I would
lose something for myself. And this limiting dynamic is not
only in in safety and and power,it's in many, many other things
(20:36):
that when I do for someone else,when I create for something for
someone else, I may lose for myself.
So first I want to to unpack that and to reframe it because
when we are doing something thatis bigger than us, we are always
expanding what is already existing in us.
(20:59):
So I would like to reframe that by actually creating safety.
If we talk about safety and power, we will deepen the power
of us so we will not lose. This is the first thing that I
would like to put the intention and reframe.
And now I want to really go deepin why by creating safety to to
(21:23):
someone else, a man, to a woman,he's actually deepening his
power because what is truly power?
And I'm talking about really theessence of power.
Not power that lead by control and fear and money in that
sense, but power to be really a powerful human being.
(21:45):
So the way I see it, power is being able to be in your body
with whatever it is that is living in you in the present
moment without bringing the pastor the future into the current
moment and being able to see it,feel it, express it, and not
(22:05):
collapse into it and not avoid it.
So when when we are talking about creating safety, if a man
is fully present in himself and he's able to hold himself with
whatever it is that is going forhim.
And then holding the feminine, the divine feminine, with
(22:26):
whatever it is that is going on for her, without collapsing and
without controlling, but truly with presence and being, you
become the most powerful masculine that you can be.
I would agree on that. And I think we had a previous
episode where we talked about how safety and getting turned on
are actually not opposites of each other, but they're
(22:49):
prerequisites of each other, requirements of each other. 100
percent, 100%. So this is just.
The underlying and turn on is isa very like, I love turning on.
Yeah, I love the language of turning on.
But we need to understand that what is truly happened in the in
(23:09):
the biological sense of turning on is the ability to open up.
The ability to open up is when Iam fully relaxed in my nerve
system and then all my body is relaxed, which is allowing the
feminine to fully open up. And that can happen only
naturally, beautifully, when she's feeling safe in the
(23:30):
environment. And so for men, it just looks
different because it's a different mechanics.
But I just love the knowledge ofactually they are actually
requirements of each other season.
Definitely, definitely. Part 7 between shorts and
(23:51):
searching Stockholm. Stillness and a glimmer of
light. After Lisa disappeared from her
life and her father was found dead the day before her 30th
birthday, everything inside Amelia went silent.
Something fell apart and something slowly began to build
itself up again. She stayed in lean shopping for
(24:12):
another year, but her body wanted to move on for so long.
To be away, home to France, to something familiar, but also to
something new. But first, she needed to save up
money. She chose Stockholm, but it
wasn't the city she remembered from her younger years.
(24:32):
This time it was a refuge. She was broken after her
father's suicide, her failed relationship with Lisa, and the
deep rift with her mother. She felt rootless, exposed.
For two years she lived without romantic relationships.
No men, no desires that would lead her away from herself.
(24:52):
She worked in head hunting, she kept up appearances, but the
real work was happening inside her.
In silence. She went to therapy, started
meditating, went on a silent retreat, and for the first time
she turned her gaze inward for real.
Slowly she began to shine from within.
(25:13):
She went from wearing the victim's cloak to asking what is
my responsibility in all this? At the same time, another fire
was awakened in her. She became involved in a
volunteer project for vulnerablewomen.
She listened to their stories soher own life reflected in them.
Addiction, abuse, insecurity. She wanted to be part of the
(25:37):
change, make the world a better place to help others find their
voice. Empowerment was no longer just a
word, It became her path. But the first for love remained
a deep longing for closeness, for being someone else's home.
After two years in Stockholm, when something inside her had
(25:59):
begun to heal, she returned to France.
She wasn't ready, not really. And like so many times before,
she threw herself headlong into something new without thinking
it through. A man, A relationship.
Unhealthy confirmation rather than love.
Intensity rather than security. She didn't see it then, but soon
(26:23):
it would become clear she wasn'tin France to find a man, she was
there to find herself. Part 8 Self sabotage, Shadows
and mirrors. France again.
A step that was supposed to be the beginning of something new,
(26:45):
but instead became a retreat into something old.
Amelia was 32 when she met Lucien, who was younger than her
but embodied something familiar.Chaos, partying, detachment,
cocaine, girls, everything she had promised herself she would
leave behind. But it started innocently
(27:08):
enough. A little flirting, a few nights,
a feeling of being desired, needed.
She thought it was just a fling.When you're lonely, when your
dog, your most loyal companion, had passed away, when the world
had shut down in the shadow of apandemic, it's easy to confuse
closeness with love. She didn't fall for Lucia.
(27:31):
She fell out of herself. The sex was empty.
It was as if he was sleeping with his own reflection.
There was no presence, no tenderness, just a body that
took never met. She saw it but choose to stay.
She told herself it was just a hole to fill, but the price was
(27:52):
high. Everything she had built up over
the years in Stockholm, self respect, self-awareness,
presence was quietly destroyed. She began to self harm in the
most subtle way, by staying in something that was eating away
at her soul bit by bit. When she finally broke up with
(28:14):
him, Lucien refused to let go. He stalked her, called her from
a hidden number, stood up outside her door.
He went on for over a year. She blocked him, ignored him,
but he refused to understand. They took a male friend to call
Lucia and Lai, saying that they were now dating before it
finally went quiet. Her friends, those safe,
(28:38):
grounded people who never judged, offer her a refuge, a
red sub convertible, a house in Normandy.
Time to just be. She drove N with the wind in her
hair and pain in her chest. In Normandy, she cried, walked,
wrote, let her body breathe. It took a few weeks to heal.
(28:59):
A step in the right direction. And then came Marseille in 2023.
She moved S, not just geographically, but emotionally.
She came to a city where the seamet the mountains, where the sun
made her skin glow. It was there that she found her
place. The summer was beautiful.
She didn't date. She didn't need anyone.
(29:21):
She had friends, conversations, evenings with wine, music and
laughter. For the first time in a long
time, there was no chase, no void to fill.
She was almost old. But then he showed up.
Pascal married 19 years older, aman carrying his own shadows.
(29:46):
They began a relationship not out of hope for the future, but
out of reflection. He saw her weaknesses.
She exposed his. It was never meant to last, but
it became important anyway, because the relationship with
Pascal awakened something in hera final reminder you can hide
anywhere. She saw her own patterns in him.
(30:10):
His avoidance, his fear of vulnerability is half truth.
The relationship ended in early 2025, and it wasn't with
sadness, but with clarity. Part 9.
The vision of the future. She remembers it so clearly on
(30:32):
August day in Paris, the heat still clinging to her skin and
with that first hint of autumn in the wind.
She was sitting in Saint Germain, in a small restaurant
with crisp tablecloths and a glass of wine reflecting the
evening light. She took out a notebook and
wrote a letter to herself, 10 years ahead.
A promise, almost, or a prayer, dear Emilia, she wrote.
(30:58):
I know you're there now, in yourhome, with movement, with
children's feet on the floor, with laughter, in the rooms,
with the man who holds you, seesyou and you're finally safe.
Not because you're hiding, but because you've chosen this.
She could see it in front of her.
(31:19):
A home that smells of lemon, coffee and wood trench in the
soul and heart, but with Scandinavian simplicity and
warmth. It is beautiful but not perfect.
Colourful children's things stands next to designer chairs.
Food is cooked with friends. There is laughter, discussion,
(31:39):
tears and hugs. There is movement.
Children are different ages, some her own, some perhaps bonus
children. They talk about the world, about
love, about art and war. The door is always open.
Someone comes in with wine, someone else cooks.
Life happens. And there he is, her husband,
(32:04):
self-employed, one of those people who doesn't need to say
much to feel present, secure, a little shy but deep, a man who
also carried burdens others chosen to grow, not hide.
They are best friends and lovers, with a sex life that is
vibrant, playful, sensual, whereneither has lost themselves but
(32:29):
both have found home. They have date nights, travel
often, sometimes just the two ofthem, sometimes the whole
family. Italy, New York, Barcelona, the
Alps. She lectures, sells homes where
others can feel safe and writes books, articles, maybe an
(32:50):
autobiography. We have a house in Sweden, an
apartment in Paris and a place in the South of France.
Not for status, but because theylove all the three places, all
our home in different ways. And sometimes, when the children
are asleep and the music is playing softly from the kitchen,
she sits down with a glass of wine in her hand.
(33:13):
Maybe he's standing there, wiping down a cutting board.
She looks at him and knows. I chose this.
I chose myself, and I let go of what once tried to destroy me.
It never turned out the way she thought it would.
It turned out better. What does inner child healing
(33:37):
mean, particularly now in the case of Amelia, and where would
you even start? So in general speaking, I will
start with the general of inner child what it is and then we
will we can dive into Amelia. So inner child healing means
(33:59):
tending the little girl or the little boy that are inside each
and every one of us who still feels unseen or unsafe or
unworthy for love, for connection, for attention and we
need, we are requested, we are invited to re parent these boys
(34:25):
and girls that are living in us.So this is what Inner Child
Healing mean in a very vast way of looking.
For Amelia. It's really about landing back
in her body and in her nerve system and teaches herself that
you are safe, you are whole for who you are.
(34:51):
You are loved and seen by me, bythe adult Amelia, and I will be
the parent for you, both the father and the mother that you
didn't have and that didn't provide for you the basic needs
of love, safety and belonging. And I will now take this in
(35:17):
responsibility and ownership to be this space for you whenever
you need. And it looks.
It can look in many different practises in somatic work, body
work, journaling, meditation, regression work, visualisation.
Where do you start? I would say you start by if you
(35:43):
want to do it yourself, you're always welcome to start really
asking what it is that is repeating in my life.
To really sit with yourself and journal about what it is that is
repeating in my life. If it's in the in the space of
relationships or career or whatever it is and really start
seeing what have I learned aboutmyself in that space, in that
(36:07):
sector when I was smaller and start bringing awareness.
This is the beginning of all, all healing because we cannot
heal what we don't see and we cannot heal what we don't
understand and are aware too. So the first step is start to
really look at ourselves, at ourlives and to see the common
(36:33):
threads that are repeating in our life and to and to start
questioning how old am I when I'm experiencing that same
experience again and again? What sensations I have in my
body, what thoughts patterns come to mind?
(36:56):
How does it make me feel? What emotions are there?
And to really start seeing the, the patterns.
And then then I would recommend to to go to someone that can
hold space for you to start exploring these memories in
those moments in time and bring awareness to the unknown and
(37:20):
start healing slowly, slowly, those parts that are asking for
attention and validation and love and care.
And in the case of Amelia, then what do you feel?
What do you feel she needs to the journey she's on SO
speaking? So, so in the case of Amelia, as
(37:42):
as I was mentioning, it's it's about because it's from such a
young age, the absence of the male and the dynamic of intimacy
itself with mom that is withdrawing is that there is
there is no safety. And so for Amelia and
specifically it will require work with her nerve system and
(38:03):
with her body and with rewiring her limiting beliefs about
herself worth and about securitywithin herself and with other
people. And this is beautiful work, if
she will choose to, to start walking in that path and to,
yeah, come home to her body and to herself and her to her worth.
(38:31):
Yeah. And I mean we saw that Emilia
often sought external validation.
And how do you think this can beturned into like a self
validation or something of innersecurity for her?
Because she has obviously done alot of work.
She also has been manifesting what her life will look like in
the future. Yeah, so like, like we like we
(38:54):
said already, but we can wrap itup in in the summary.
So Amelia learned to seek worth outside of herself, like most of
us when we are kids. Yeah.
And because love for her was conditional growing up OK, she
learned how she needs to eat in order for someone to maybe stay
(39:16):
or maybe give her what it is that she need.
OK. For her the shift will need to
be from giving it the power outside.
By understanding what she worth from the feedback of the outside
is to bring the inner authority inside.
(39:37):
Yeah. Is is to start really drop in
her body and start listening. What is it that my body's asking
me now? What is it that my heart is
asking me now? And to start follow with her
actions those signals. And this is the alignment that
(39:58):
we were talking about in the beginning of the session.
Yeah, Is when I'm really fully listening to my desires and my
body where it's feeling contraction, I don't go there.
I cut this act that is making mefeel like that, or where it's
feeling more expansion. I start taking more and more
(40:20):
actions that will bring me this sensation, and it's aligned with
this sensation. And so listening inwards,
choosing herself, building safety in her own body, in her
own nerve system, then she's starting to reconnect with her
(40:44):
inner voice, reconnect with her inner authority.
And then it's not outsourced. So if you were to give one piece
of advice to listeners who recognise themselves in Amelia's
journey, what would that be? It's a really, really powerful
(41:05):
question and thank you for asking it.
So I can really give one point to everyone here.
So whether or not you find yourself in Amelia's story per
SE, or if it's something similar, or if you're stuck in
any loop or patterns or repeating the same mistakes, you
(41:28):
don't see me, but I'm doing likemistakes.
It's not really mistakes. Then I'll first, first, first
want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you and that
you're not broken and the only thing that you are is a human
being. And this is mechanical,
(41:48):
automatic, and universal. With that said, it doesn't have
to continue to be that way. It doesn't have to continue to
be the rest of your life and whoyou are.
So I would say your actions, your patterns, your story, and
(42:12):
not even your emotions are not who you are, not truly.
And so when you bring awareness to it and you can start
disattached from the identity ofhow you know yourself and the
patterns and and the men you have brought into your life or
(42:32):
the women you're attracting or the work or whatever it is that
is repeating. When you can start bringing
space and disattach, you can start rewire, heal and act from
a different space, and then you will also start seeing the
result in the physical world andcreate the life for yourself
(42:54):
that you wish so. It's all available to everyone,
each and every one of us as human being.
I'm not speaking from any pedestal.
I'm still doing the work myself.I'm still bringing into my own
awareness and consciousness whatit is that is a blind spot for
me, and I do so with my own mentors and with my own guides.
(43:19):
But it is available. We don't have to keep repeating
and suffering. We can rewire for something that
is better for the heaven that isunfamiliar.
And that's a beautiful way of summing it up more.
It was a pleasure to to talk to you Henrik.
Thank you for having me again and allowing me, yeah, to do
(43:42):
what I love to do, which is talking about these topics, but
also like really be a space and a voice to really bring this far
and wide in this podcast. And yeah, and thank you for
having me. Emilia's story is not just about
pain, but about resilience to chaos, betrayal and loss.
(44:06):
She chose to heal and in her vision of the future, she
reminds us all it never turns out the way we thought it would.
Sometimes it turns out better. I see you next time on 34 O Stay
present and stay safe.
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