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October 9, 2025 7 mins

When no one teaches men what love really is — the internet will...

In this powerful yet concise reflection, Henrik reads a real email titled “How to Manipulate Women to Get What You Want” — a disturbing glimpse into what young men are being taught online every day.
But beneath the noise lies something deeper: a generational wound, passed from father to son, from culture to child.

And it’s not just men.
On the other side of the algorithm, women are being sold a different illusion — the rise of the “tradwife”, preaching submission and silence as the path to love.
Both stories grow from the same root: fear.
Fear of not being enough. Fear of not being safe. Fear of being seen.

This episode isn’t about blame - it’s about awareness.
Because if we, as adults, stay silent, algorithms will raise our sons. Porn will shape their desires.
And the line between play and violation, between pleasure and power, will vanish before they even turn twelve.

Real masculinity isn’t about control - it’s about safety.
Love doesn’t need hierarchy. It needs honesty.
Presence heals what performance never can.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
I got this e-mail today subject line how to manipulate women to
get what you want. It said things like women are
the real masters of deception. Date toxic women to learn their
tricks. Use 10% toxic gain.
It makes her like you more. And as I read it, I felt sad.

(00:38):
Not angry, just sad because thisis exactly what young men are
being taught every single day byan algorithm that preys on their
confusion. This isn't strength, it's fear
dressed up as confidence. And I thought, this is exactly

(00:58):
the sickness we need to heal. Because behind every line of
that e-mail, there's a wound. A wound passed from father to
son, from culture to child. A wound that whispers don't
feel, don't trust, don't love. For generations, men have been

(01:20):
told that emotions are weakness,that vulnerability makes you
soft, that control equals strength.
But that lie doesn't just hurt men, It poisons everything.
It turns intimacy into performance.
It teaches boys that attention equals worth, and that it makes

(01:41):
girls and women carry the weightof feeling safe in a world that
keeps confusing dominance with desire.
Welcome back to 34 O, the podcast where we talk about
intimacy, presence, and emotional truth behind pleasure.
Let me read you the e-mail. Hey man, here's something that

(02:05):
isn't talked about enough. On average, men are the real
victims of manipulation. 10K table in the club. 30K for a
designer bag. Flying a girl out to Dubai.
Meekness or Ibiza. Women are naturally better at
getting what they want, especially those attractive ones
that like the high lifestyle. They're the true masters of the

(02:27):
art of deception. We're direct and get caught
cheating way easier for example,whereas women are sneaky and use
an arsenal of tricks to pull thewhale over our eyes.
Think about it, Nines and 10s that convince you that they've
had only one boyfriend. How they get men to spoil them
and pay for expensive surgeries.How they make men fall in love.

(02:51):
How they easily make you jealousafter you break up with her and
you end up calling her tense time in a row begging to have
her back. How they recover super fast
after break UPS. Women are natural at this,
whereas men are the ones who have some learning to do.
Fortunately it's not hard. You do it by just analysing

(03:11):
female behaviour. Reverse engineer and use it
later on if you want to. It's counterintuitive and that's
why no one talks about it, but the best decision you can make
if you want to be high level in dating is to purposefully date
toxic women. Like actual dark tribe demons.
Go get some crazy girls for the fun and for the lessons.

(03:35):
Don't marry them. Just see it as a learning
experience. It's not for the faint of heart,
but it can certainly protect youin the future when you're
looking for the right girl. PS I'm not a proponent of acting
extreme like an unhealthy toxic woman, but there are times when
just 10% toxic game can get a woman to like you more.

(03:57):
That was the e-mail. You might think this is extreme,
but it isn't. This is what thousands of young
men see in their feeds every day.
They're not evil, but they're confused.
Because when no one teaches you what love really is, the
Internet will. And that's why this conversation
matters. Because if we as adults stay

(04:20):
silent, algorithms will raise our sons, porn will shape their
desires, and the line between play and violation, between
pleasure and power, will vanish before they even turn 12.
And what's striking is the same algorithm that tells men to
dominate is also telling women to obey.

(04:41):
Scroll through TikTok and you'llsee it.
The rise of the tred wife. Women preaching submission,
silence and dependence as the path to love.
But this is a devotion. It's fear.
Wearing a different mask. On one side, men are taught to
perform control. On the other, women are taught
to perform surrender. Both lose touch with what Love

(05:06):
Actually is. Partnership presence, mutual
safety. Because love doesn't need
hierarchy, it needs honesty. A very good friend told me
something recently. She was out running and she saw
511 year old boys at a playground.
Three were watching, one lay on a ping pong table and another

(05:28):
one was simulating sex with a boy on the ping pong table.
They were laughing, but it wasn't play, it was porn
performed by children. They learned it somewhere, from
algorithms, from screens, from aculture that keeps whispering
the same message that sex is performance, that connection is

(05:50):
conquest, that power equals love.
And this is where it begins. Not with evil, but with
confusion. We can't keep blaming children
for reenacting the pain we nevertaught them to heal.
This is not a woman's issue. It's not a man's issue, is a

(06:10):
human issue. We have to teach our sons
presence, not performance. And that pleasure begins with
respect. That real masculinity isn't
about control, it's about safety.
Because when a man learns to be present, he becomes someone
others can trust. And that trust, that quiet

(06:34):
strength, changes everything. Love is not something you win,
it's something you build. And real strength is in learning
to play the game. It's having the courage to step
out of it. So yes, I got that e-mail and
I'm not going to delete it. I'm going to read it.

(06:56):
I'm going to talk about it because the only way to break
the spell is to bring it to light.
If you're a parent, talk to yourchild.
If you're a teacher, ask what your students are seeing.
And if you're a man, look inward.
Ask what stories you've been told about power, desire and

(07:20):
love. Because when we heal our own
confusion, we stop passing it on.
And for the boys growing up watching, for the men still
learning, and for the women carrying the weight.
May we all remember presence heals or performance never can.

(07:42):
Thank you for listening to 34. Until the next time, stay
present, stay open, and stay human.
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