Guard Your Joy - S2E17

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Joy is a performance edge, and it needs protection. When you’re joyful, you think clearer, connect better, and play free. When you’re surrounded by chronic criticism, your momentum stalls—and so does your team’s.

Coach Mikki shares practical ways to spot joy thieves, respond with composure, and keep your culture strong. We unpack the difference between high standards and harsh judgment, how to offer critique without crushing confidence, and why recognition is a strategic tool for repeatable excellence. You’ll hear simple rituals to build a “force field” around your focus, decline drama you didn’t invite, and return to gratitude so negativity can’t own the narrative.

This conversation is for athletes, coaches, leaders, and anyone tired of letting other people’s moods run their day. Learn how to set firm boundaries, curate your circle, and protect what matters most: your joy, your peace, and your potential. Start strong, finish strong, and dominate the space in between with clear habits that reinforce who you want to be and how your team shows up.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a teammate who needs the lift, and leave a quick review so more people can build a mindset that wins.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Okay, bring it in.
Bring it in.
Listen up.
Listen up.
Hey, welcome to Fourth of OneMindset.
I'm Coach Mickey.
And before we get started, Iwould like to give a shout out
to an extraordinary person.
And I wish her an abundance ofsuccess, uh, Brie and her
company, Blue Feather Cleaningout of New Jersey.
And if you are looking to haveyour office, your home, or

(00:55):
something that you need cleanedup, I highly recommend that you
reach out to her.
She will do not only anincredible job, she will go
above and beyond for you.
So if you are looking for that,please find the information in
the link within the podcast.
And you can reach out to her foryour cleaning needs.
So today I want to talk aboutsomething that I think all of us

(01:19):
experience now and then,hopefully now and then, not all
the time.
And that is people that stealyour joy.
And why do I say that?
Because I recently uh have hadthis situation throughout this
season.
And it, you know, once or twiceI get it, you know, because

(01:41):
somebody's in a bad mood.
But man, uh when you've gotsomebody that can always find
and criticize, regardless of howgood you do, I mean, they're
just joy stealers.
That's all they are.
And I had this situation thispast game, and it's not just
this past game, but I've had itduring some of the other games
where my guys have donesomething incredible.

(02:03):
And instead of being celebratedand rewarded, this one coach
will constantly find what theydid wrong every single time.
And and then I have the my kidscome to me, and I actually this
last thing, I had a guy who madea game-changing play that really
is the reason we won.
Uh, because he was uh he was mydefensive line and he went right

(02:25):
in there and he he saw thechance to go in and and take the
opportunity to get a pick, andsure enough he did, and we had a
turnover, and it really changedthe whole game for us.
And while we're celebrating himcoming off onto the sideline on
his big play that he made, thisone coach felt the need to

(02:46):
express to him how he shouldhave been, he shouldn't have got
it, he was in the wrong spot,and he shouldn't have got, and
I'm thinking, why?
Why?
What the hell is wrong with you?
You know, that you just had togo step out of your way to tell
this kid what he didn't doinstead of celebrating him.
So it got me thinking, because II hate joy thieves, I really do.

(03:06):
You know, these are people whocriticize doubt or they gossip
and they just have that negativeenergy that just wants to drain
the life out of your day.
You know, I call them emotionalblack holes.
You know, you can walk into aroom and you can just feel it.
You know, you can feel themoment that they walk up to you
that there's going to be asituation or something said, you
know, that you're gonna be like,oh, why did I bother?

(03:27):
Um, you know, these are thepeople that could win the
lottery and you know, complainthat the bag is too heavy.
Now, I'd like to believe thatmaybe they don't mean to.
You know, maybe they'restruggling, you know, maybe
they're unhappy in their ownlives, but it doesn't mean that
they have to constantly puteverybody down.
And I guess maybe becausethey're miserable in their own

(03:48):
life, they feel like they got tomake everybody else miserable.
I mean, what's that saying?
Misery loves company, I guess.
Yeah, so you know, I I just Ijust know that, you know, when
people lose their own joy andthey're trying to take yours, I
guess, I guess you have to kindof look at it, maybe what did

(04:09):
they lose?
You know, what have they lost tomake them that way?
And as much as you want to tryto spread your positivity and
and constantly stay uplifted,sometimes it's really hard when
you know that that person isnever going to change.
There's times where I think thatuh we have to look at these

(04:31):
people and kind of look at themmaybe with some compassion, or
maybe just meet them where theyare and understand that you know
this is not really a reflectionof us, it's them.
But when you're joyful, you'reunstoppable.
You move differently, you thinkclearer, you connect better.
Joy is not a weakness, it's amomentum, it's what keeps you

(04:52):
going.
And I think maybe this is whysome of these joystealers are
who they are, because they'renot moving anywhere in their
life, they're either stuck orthey're they're dwelling on
something that they just can'tget over.
And to see other people happyjust doesn't fit within their
wheelhouse.

(05:12):
And and it's unfortunate.
But I know for someone who ishappy all the time and wants to
do things and wants to succeed,having that joy just kind of
sets the rhythm.
It gives you that spark, itgives you that one burst of
belief to say, oh my gosh, I youknow, I I've got this, I know I

(05:34):
can do this.
It's like that excitement ofwhen you decide you want to do
something and you get reallyexcited about it, and you're
like, I'm gonna do this and I'mgonna do that, and I've got this
and I've got that, and and youkeep going.
And then someone comes in andthen just drags you into their
quagmire and into their dramaand their doubt.
And I want you to remembersomething.

(05:56):
You don't have to attend everyargument that you're invited to.
You don't have to match theirenergy, you can raise it.
And what I mean by that is youjust can walk away and you know,
take what you need, leave therest, or just don't even
approach it to begin with.

(06:16):
And sometimes, you know, justlike a team, we have to cut
people because they're notstepping up to what they need to
do, or they're not ready, orthey don't fit the standard or
the culture.
And you're gonna have to letthem go.
And maybe these are the peoplethat are your joystealers.
You're gonna have to learn howto let them go.
And you're gonna have to eithertake them in small doses or just

(06:37):
completely stay away from them.
You know, don't personalizetheir noise, their negativity
isn't about you, it's aboutthem.
So don't internalize it, justobserve it and then release it
because there's nothing elseyou're gonna be able to do.
It's because you're never gonnaget through to these people and
build your mental fence, but puta big force field around you.
I always tell my guys when theycome on the field, and I've even

(06:59):
had to do it myself when I'vehad things happening in my own
life, and I can't drag it on thefield because I got I got 85
guys depending on me to be therefor them.
I say, you know what, put aforce field around you.
Whatever is outside this fieldis going to be there when you
get done, and just focus on thehere and now.
Where you are right now and whatyou're doing is the most

(07:21):
important thing.
No one can take that away fromyou.
They can't.
Only you can bring the energythat you want.
And you don't allow other peopleto take away, you know, don't
let other people walk around inyour mind and dump their
negativity there because it hasno purpose and it's never going
to get you anywhere else.
And remember to be grateful.

(07:42):
Being grateful, return togratitude.
Joy grows where gratitude lives.
Be thankful that you're doingwhat you're doing and grateful
for the people that are aroundyou that are lifting you up and
helping you and seeing what youwant to do and moving forward.
Just have every moment, everystate, every opportunity joyful

(08:04):
in your life to the point whereit lifts you up and brings you
to the next step.
So here's I want you to takeaway from today Joy is not
something life's gonna give you,it's something you're gonna have
to choose every day and decidewho you're gonna surround
yourself with to always have it.
And you gotta protect it.

(08:24):
You gotta protect it, you gottaprotect it just like I have a
running back protect a football.
You've got to protect your joy,you've got to protect your
power, you've got to protectyour peace, and you've got to
protect your potential becauseyou know what your abilities are
and your potential is so off thecharts.
And when you know that andyou're happy about it, you

(08:48):
become unstoppable.
Don't worry about the opinionsor the setbacks.
Stay away from that energy, juststay away from it.
Your call, the play for your owngame and the life that you're
living is based on what youchoose to do and who you want to
be around and how you take itand what you do with it.
So I am going to wish you anabundance of joy, and I hope

(09:11):
that you take with you everysingle day what you choose to do
that is going to light you upand make your day successful in
every opportunity that you have.
Start strong and finish strongand dominate everything in
between.
I'm Coach Mickey.
Let's go.