February 8, 2025 • 13 mins
What if the key to overcoming adversity lies in turning challenges into stepping stones for growth? Today, we unpack the transformative power of resilience and perseverance through stories of personal triumph over hostile environments and self-doubt. I reflect on my journey as a female coach facing a difficult colleague, where support from allies and focusing on my impact on athletes proved crucial. With my father's wisdom echoing, "Success is the best revenge," we explore how staying true to one's passion can turn negativity into motivation and drive growth, even in the toughest times.
Discover how persistence paves the path to success, especially when external judgments threaten to derail us. We draw inspiration from the Apollo 13 mission, demonstrating how perceived failures can be reframed as valuable stepping stones. From breaking down overwhelming tasks into manageable pieces to learning from those who excel, this episode examines strategies that help you stay focused and passionate. We highlight the power of small victories, the importance of taking strategic breaks, and the influence of supportive communities, urging listeners to visualize their success and maintain a clear vision to achieve remarkable results. Join us to start strong, finish stronger, and dominate every step of the journey.
Start Strong - Finish Strong! - Let's Go!
@4thand1Mindset
4th and 1 Mindset with Coach Mikki
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, come on, bring it in.
Bring it in, listen up, bringit in, take a knee, listen up.
You ever found yourselfstanding on the edge of quitting
, where you feel like you'vegiven everything you have and
you're still coming up short.
You know these are the momentsof exhaustion and disappointment
that maybe quitting might bethe easier route to go, Maybe
(00:23):
it's the easiest choice.
While quitting might be atemporary relief, it's
definitely going to rob you ofyour growth and breakthrough.
We've all been there.
I've even been there.
I've had times as a coach,especially as a female coach,
and I'm not going to go into itin detail, but I will tell you
(00:46):
there have been.
I had a season, I had a yearwhere I had a coach I was
working with and all the othercoaches I worked with are great.
But I had one coach who reallymade my life a living hell every
single day and he did push meto the brink a couple times
where I felt like quittingbecause he was relentless he
(01:07):
really was, and he would do itwhen no one else was around, so
it couldn't be seen.
And then it did blow up in hisface one day.
Actually, I had a game and itcost him his job, which I'm glad
everybody else had my back.
But prior to that it was reallydifficult and I can remember
(01:28):
going out to my truck after apractice and calling my dad
because I'd call my dad everyday after practice or before a
game and I told him.
I said, dad, I don't know if Icould do this anymore.
I said this guy doesn't let up.
I said everything I do.
I said he undermines me, hebelittles me in front of my
players.
You know it's, if I dosomething, he goes in and
changes it.
He pulls my, my people and he'slike well, what do you want to
(01:53):
do?
I said I go, I don't know.
I said I love working with thekids, I love my guys.
I mean this is great.
When he's not around and he'sout of my face, everything runs
very smoothly.
I mean great, when he's notaround and he's out of my face,
everything runs very smoothly.
I mean we've got this.
I mean at the time I was aspecial teams coordinator and we
were doing extraordinary things.
My kicker went on to be afive-star kicker.
(02:13):
My long snapper went on tocollege.
I have a couple other guys thatgot some extraordinary offers
and went on to play, and eventhose that didn't, they still
went on to be good people, right.
However, during that time frameof just trying to constantly
questioning this, my dad's likeyou know what don't give him the
satisfaction.
That's what he wants you to do.
(02:34):
He wants you to quit.
He's trying to prove that youdon't belong there.
He is trying to prove that youdon't know what you're doing.
He said the best way to beathim.
He said success is the bestrevenge.
And I'm like huh, I didn'tthink about it like that.
And he goes the guys love you,the kids love you.
You're doing your job, you'rescoring things, you're making
(02:57):
everything work when you'redoing your part.
And as long as you're doingyour job and everybody's doing
what they're supposed to do,then you don't need to prove
anything about yourself, becauseyour success on the field is
going to already determine howgood of a coach you are.
And I sat there and said no, dad, you're right, you're right.
(03:17):
I you know.
I think I've allowed this guyto creep in my head and judge me
and it's been a part of me thatI have just allowed him to get
into.
And he said well, don't do it.
And my dad always had the best,saying he's like, ah, the hell
with it.
He said just do what you needto do, he goes and you'll be
fine.
And sure enough, he was right.
(03:39):
I got back out on the field andI just ignored him Whenever
something came up.
As soon as he walked away, Iwent right back to what I was
doing and undid what he did, andthe guys knew it and it just
made my life a lot easier.
So what happens?
(03:59):
Why, all of a sudden, do wefeel like we want to quit?
And I just gave you my story.
I had a lot of it was theoutside judgment.
You know that was coming at meleft and right each and every
day and I had to put that aside,and that's something that we
all have to do.
You're going to have opinions.
You're going to have peopletell you you can't do something,
you're not good enough, you'llnever make it.
(04:19):
Other people have startedearlier than you.
You know what.
So what?
It's not that important.
If you are going to do what youwant to do, it doesn't matter
the timing, as long as you arefocused and moving forward.
Anything you decide to do isgoing to work.
Just keep pushing at it.
(04:39):
And what if it didn't, let'ssay it didn't.
Let's say it didn't come tofruition of what you really
wanted, the fact that you dosomething to move you forward in
your life, whether it bephysically, emotionally,
spiritually, financially, you'regoing to be better off than you
are today.
You're striving to always havea better tomorrow, so don't
(05:01):
allow those judgments to creepin.
Keep moving forward and doingwhat you want to do.
You know that brings me to thenext thing, which is
overwhelming failure.
Now know that brings me to thenext thing, which is
overwhelming failure.
Now we're all going to have it.
We're all going to have baddays where all of a sudden,
we're doing something and we'renot going to get the results we
expected, or you're going to getdiscouraged.
Maybe we start believing thatmaybe we're not cut out for this
(05:24):
and that's not true.
Those are all just excuses notto move forward.
If you really want something,failure is not an option.
It's just not.
I say that quote because I loveit.
I mean, when NASA sends upastronauts, failure is not an
option.
You have got people whereeverything has got to work out
(05:46):
right, and if you've ever seenthe movie Apollo 13, failure was
definitely not an optionbecause they had to bring home
those three astronauts based oneverything that was thrown at
them.
And I look at this.
So something might be thrown atyou and maybe it doesn't serve
you or it doesn't have any value.
So weed it out.
(06:06):
Weed out what's not working andstart focusing on the things
that are.
And then if you do havesomething that's not working,
then I would suggest break itdown, figure out what's
happening and go back to it andgo back to it in the smaller
pieces until you do get it towork and never believe that
you're not cut out for something.
You are.
Whatever you're doing, youchose it for a reason and there
(06:30):
must be something inside youthat is calling for you to do it
.
So don't ever think that you'renot cut out for something,
because you are.
Everything you need is withinyou to make you unstoppable.
If you don't see immediaterewards, that's okay.
You know everything is notgoing to be instant
gratification, it's just not.
You know, I have watched myplayers, especially skilled
(06:54):
players.
You know every day whetherthey're running routes, whether
they're trying to run something,and they do it over and over
and over again, and then I'veseen them get frustrated.
I've seen them throw theirhands up and go.
I can't do this.
I'm like, no, no, come here,let's regroup.
I don't need you to getfrustrated.
What I need you to do is I needyou to stop and let's just
(07:16):
break it down.
Let's just do one thing at atime, one thing.
Maybe it's just your footwork,so let's just work on that.
Don't worry about catching theball.
What are your feet doing?
Are they sticking in the rightplace?
Are you turning?
Where's your hips?
Where's your eyes?
Let's focus on that.
Let's just focus from that area.
And then, once we have thatdown now, let's move to our
upper body.
Where's your shoulders?
You know what are you doing?
(07:36):
Where's your hands?
And breaking things down canmake it a lot easier to be able
to see the progress.
Whether you are going out theretrying to do something, it's
one step at a time.
I've seen things that have astack a mile long or a list a
mile long of what we have to do,and if you try to accomplish
(07:58):
every single one of those thingsin a short period of time,
you're not going to get anywhere.
Pick one thing that's going tobe the foundation of what you
need and that you can buildeverything else up on, and
that's going to be thefoundation of what you need and
that you can build everythingelse up on, and that's going to
help you.
Don't compare yourself toothers.
It's just not worth it.
If I compared myself to everycoach out there, I'd constantly
be questioning.
But on the other hand, what Ido do is if I have someone who's
(08:22):
extraordinary like you get aNick Saban or a Bill Walsh, you
know, or you see a coach that'sdoing something or a player
that's doing somethingextraordinary what are they
doing?
What are they offering?
What is the one thing that isbeing brought to the table,
bringing out onto the field thatis creating this success, a
(08:44):
successful team, a successfulculture, a success in everything
that they're doing?
What's the mindset?
What are they offering?
And that's what you need to dowhen you are comparing yourself
to others.
Don't compare what they've done, compare to what you're doing,
but compare.
What do you need to learn tobring you to that next level?
(09:06):
To be there and be like asponge.
Learn.
I do it all the time when I'mworking with defensive ends and
defensive tackles.
I watch film, and I'm nottalking about just my guys.
I watch film from some of themost extraordinary players.
I mean, if I want a gooddefensive end, I look at all the
bosses.
I mean, if I want a gooddefensive end, I look at all the
(09:27):
bosses.
I look at JJ Waugh, I look atanybody, aaron Darnold, I look
at all of them.
What are they doing?
What makes them extraordinary?
And I pick it apart, I pickevery piece of that film apart
and I look at it.
Where's their feet, where'stheir eyes, where's their hands?
And I learn.
(09:49):
And so I can take that back tomy guys and teach them to make
them extraordinary.
And it's no different in thebusiness world or anything
you're doing.
What is that one person doingthat is making them the very top
, the top 1%?
And that's what you need tolearn.
And just learn one thing youdon't have to learn all of it.
Take it at your own pace.
The reality is, you know, don'tcompare yourself to others,
(10:10):
compete with yourself.
If you are better tomorrow thanyou are today and yesterday,
then you're going to beextraordinary and unstoppable.
So keep that in mind, just keepmoving forward and keep also a
lookout for being physically andemotionally burned out.
You know you don't.
(10:30):
This is not a race.
You know this is not a sprint,it's a marathon.
Success everybody thinks is astraight line.
It's not Take a big ball ofyarn and I'd actually better get
take a big knot whereeverything is just jumbled up in
a big mess and it might takeyou time to undo it.
Well, that's the way success is.
It's going to take time, it'sgoing to get messy, it's going
(10:51):
to get sticky, it's going to getrough, and you have to be able
to pick yourself up and justkeep moving forward with purpose
and passion and reconnect withyour why.
What's the reason you startedanyway?
That's the most powerful thing.
There's a reason you're doingthis.
There's a reason you want it.
You know, taking a break is nota permanent exit.
(11:13):
It's just an opportunity foryou to kind of regroup, reassess
and just kind of put a pause oneverything until you get more
clarity.
And that's okay, becausesometimes we need to do that.
And what I have found?
That if I put a pause onsomething and come back to it, I
come back stronger.
I have like a fresh set of eyeson it and I catch something
maybe I didn't see before.
(11:35):
Surround yourself with peoplethat know what they're doing.
You know, like I said, do yourresearch.
Surround yourself with mentors,look for a community that's
doing the same thing, that cangive you support.
You know, having a freshperspective will actually
reignite and resonate what youwant and what you're doing and
you may see something differentthat maybe you didn't see.
And remember to celebrate thesmall wins.
(11:58):
You know, progress might notalways be massive, but
recognizing small victories canbuild the momentum and your
confidence.
Now, every little thing thatyou do that is positive is going
to be a small victory, andthat's the thing you have to
focus on.
I think sometimes we get caughtup on what's not working.
We focus on that, we forget tocelebrate the things that are,
(12:19):
and that's what you need toleave your day with.
And always, always, always,visualize your finish line,
always visualize your end zone.
You know, think of how you'regoing to feel when you achieve
it and when you have that vision, it's always going to pull you
forward.
It's always going to bring youto the point of where you're
going to succeed.
(12:40):
And you've got this.
I mean, we all have gotsomething inside us that we're
looking to do and if you take itand remember to move forward
and believe it with every fiberof your being, you're going to
be unstoppable.
You really are and everythingthat you're doing is going to be
(13:00):
amazing towards not only foryou, but for everybody that
you're going to bring it to andwhat you're going to have to
offer.
Only you can offer whateveryou've got, because you are
unique and different and no oneelse can do what you can.
So, everybody, okay, bring itin, let's bring it up, bring it
up, let's go, let's go.
Okay, break on me Ready, startstrong, finish strong and
(13:22):
dominate everything in between.
I'm Coach Mickey, let's go.
Okay, come on, bring it in.
Bring it in, listen up, bringit in, take a knee, listen up.
You ever found yourselfstanding on the edge of quitting
, where you feel like you'vegiven everything you have and
you're still coming up short.
You know these are the momentsof exhaustion and disappointment
that maybe quitting might bethe easier route to go, Maybe
(00:23):
it's the easiest choice.
While quitting might be atemporary relief, it's
definitely going to rob you ofyour growth and breakthrough.
We've all been there.
I've even been there.
I've had times as a coach,especially as a female coach,
and I'm not going to go into itin detail, but I will tell you
(00:46):
there have been.
I had a season, I had a yearwhere I had a coach I was
working with and all the othercoaches I worked with are great.
But I had one coach who reallymade my life a living hell every
single day and he did push meto the brink a couple times
where I felt like quittingbecause he was relentless he
(01:07):
really was, and he would do itwhen no one else was around, so
it couldn't be seen.
And then it did blow up in hisface one day.
Actually, I had a game and itcost him his job, which I'm glad
everybody else had my back.
But prior to that it was reallydifficult and I can remember
(01:28):
going out to my truck after apractice and calling my dad
because I'd call my dad everyday after practice or before a
game and I told him.
I said, dad, I don't know if Icould do this anymore.
I said this guy doesn't let up.
I said everything I do.
I said he undermines me, hebelittles me in front of my
players.
You know it's, if I dosomething, he goes in and
changes it.
He pulls my, my people and he'slike well, what do you want to
(01:53):
do?
I said I go, I don't know.
I said I love working with thekids, I love my guys.
I mean this is great.
When he's not around and he'sout of my face, everything runs
very smoothly.
I mean great, when he's notaround and he's out of my face,
everything runs very smoothly.
I mean we've got this.
I mean at the time I was aspecial teams coordinator and we
were doing extraordinary things.
My kicker went on to be afive-star kicker.
(02:13):
My long snapper went on tocollege.
I have a couple other guys thatgot some extraordinary offers
and went on to play, and eventhose that didn't, they still
went on to be good people, right.
However, during that time frameof just trying to constantly
questioning this, my dad's likeyou know what don't give him the
satisfaction.
That's what he wants you to do.
(02:34):
He wants you to quit.
He's trying to prove that youdon't belong there.
He is trying to prove that youdon't know what you're doing.
He said the best way to beathim.
He said success is the bestrevenge.
And I'm like huh, I didn'tthink about it like that.
And he goes the guys love you,the kids love you.
You're doing your job, you'rescoring things, you're making
(02:57):
everything work when you'redoing your part.
And as long as you're doingyour job and everybody's doing
what they're supposed to do,then you don't need to prove
anything about yourself, becauseyour success on the field is
going to already determine howgood of a coach you are.
And I sat there and said no, dad, you're right, you're right.
(03:17):
I you know.
I think I've allowed this guyto creep in my head and judge me
and it's been a part of me thatI have just allowed him to get
into.
And he said well, don't do it.
And my dad always had the best,saying he's like, ah, the hell
with it.
He said just do what you needto do, he goes and you'll be
fine.
And sure enough, he was right.
(03:39):
I got back out on the field andI just ignored him Whenever
something came up.
As soon as he walked away, Iwent right back to what I was
doing and undid what he did, andthe guys knew it and it just
made my life a lot easier.
So what happens?
(03:59):
Why, all of a sudden, do wefeel like we want to quit?
And I just gave you my story.
I had a lot of it was theoutside judgment.
You know that was coming at meleft and right each and every
day and I had to put that aside,and that's something that we
all have to do.
You're going to have opinions.
You're going to have peopletell you you can't do something,
you're not good enough, you'llnever make it.
(04:19):
Other people have startedearlier than you.
You know what.
So what?
It's not that important.
If you are going to do what youwant to do, it doesn't matter
the timing, as long as you arefocused and moving forward.
Anything you decide to do isgoing to work.
Just keep pushing at it.
(04:39):
And what if it didn't, let'ssay it didn't.
Let's say it didn't come tofruition of what you really
wanted, the fact that you dosomething to move you forward in
your life, whether it bephysically, emotionally,
spiritually, financially, you'regoing to be better off than you
are today.
You're striving to always havea better tomorrow, so don't
(05:01):
allow those judgments to creepin.
Keep moving forward and doingwhat you want to do.
You know that brings me to thenext thing, which is
overwhelming failure.
Now know that brings me to thenext thing, which is
overwhelming failure.
Now we're all going to have it.
We're all going to have baddays where all of a sudden,
we're doing something and we'renot going to get the results we
expected, or you're going to getdiscouraged.
Maybe we start believing thatmaybe we're not cut out for this
(05:24):
and that's not true.
Those are all just excuses notto move forward.
If you really want something,failure is not an option.
It's just not.
I say that quote because I loveit.
I mean, when NASA sends upastronauts, failure is not an
option.
You have got people whereeverything has got to work out
(05:46):
right, and if you've ever seenthe movie Apollo 13, failure was
definitely not an optionbecause they had to bring home
those three astronauts based oneverything that was thrown at
them.
And I look at this.
So something might be thrown atyou and maybe it doesn't serve
you or it doesn't have any value.
So weed it out.
(06:06):
Weed out what's not working andstart focusing on the things
that are.
And then if you do havesomething that's not working,
then I would suggest break itdown, figure out what's
happening and go back to it andgo back to it in the smaller
pieces until you do get it towork and never believe that
you're not cut out for something.
You are.
Whatever you're doing, youchose it for a reason and there
(06:30):
must be something inside youthat is calling for you to do it
.
So don't ever think that you'renot cut out for something,
because you are.
Everything you need is withinyou to make you unstoppable.
If you don't see immediaterewards, that's okay.
You know everything is notgoing to be instant
gratification, it's just not.
You know, I have watched myplayers, especially skilled
(06:54):
players.
You know every day whetherthey're running routes, whether
they're trying to run something,and they do it over and over
and over again, and then I'veseen them get frustrated.
I've seen them throw theirhands up and go.
I can't do this.
I'm like, no, no, come here,let's regroup.
I don't need you to getfrustrated.
What I need you to do is I needyou to stop and let's just
(07:16):
break it down.
Let's just do one thing at atime, one thing.
Maybe it's just your footwork,so let's just work on that.
Don't worry about catching theball.
What are your feet doing?
Are they sticking in the rightplace?
Are you turning?
Where's your hips?
Where's your eyes?
Let's focus on that.
Let's just focus from that area.
And then, once we have thatdown now, let's move to our
upper body.
Where's your shoulders?
You know what are you doing?
(07:36):
Where's your hands?
And breaking things down canmake it a lot easier to be able
to see the progress.
Whether you are going out theretrying to do something, it's
one step at a time.
I've seen things that have astack a mile long or a list a
mile long of what we have to do,and if you try to accomplish
(07:58):
every single one of those thingsin a short period of time,
you're not going to get anywhere.
Pick one thing that's going tobe the foundation of what you
need and that you can buildeverything else up on, and
that's going to be thefoundation of what you need and
that you can build everythingelse up on, and that's going to
help you.
Don't compare yourself toothers.
It's just not worth it.
If I compared myself to everycoach out there, I'd constantly
be questioning.
But on the other hand, what Ido do is if I have someone who's
(08:22):
extraordinary like you get aNick Saban or a Bill Walsh, you
know, or you see a coach that'sdoing something or a player
that's doing somethingextraordinary what are they
doing?
What are they offering?
What is the one thing that isbeing brought to the table,
bringing out onto the field thatis creating this success, a
(08:44):
successful team, a successfulculture, a success in everything
that they're doing?
What's the mindset?
What are they offering?
And that's what you need to dowhen you are comparing yourself
to others.
Don't compare what they've done, compare to what you're doing,
but compare.
What do you need to learn tobring you to that next level?
(09:06):
To be there and be like asponge.
Learn.
I do it all the time when I'mworking with defensive ends and
defensive tackles.
I watch film, and I'm nottalking about just my guys.
I watch film from some of themost extraordinary players.
I mean, if I want a gooddefensive end, I look at all the
bosses.
I mean, if I want a gooddefensive end, I look at all the
(09:27):
bosses.
I look at JJ Waugh, I look atanybody, aaron Darnold, I look
at all of them.
What are they doing?
What makes them extraordinary?
And I pick it apart, I pickevery piece of that film apart
and I look at it.
Where's their feet, where'stheir eyes, where's their hands?
And I learn.
(09:49):
And so I can take that back tomy guys and teach them to make
them extraordinary.
And it's no different in thebusiness world or anything
you're doing.
What is that one person doingthat is making them the very top
, the top 1%?
And that's what you need tolearn.
And just learn one thing youdon't have to learn all of it.
Take it at your own pace.
The reality is, you know, don'tcompare yourself to others,
(10:10):
compete with yourself.
If you are better tomorrow thanyou are today and yesterday,
then you're going to beextraordinary and unstoppable.
So keep that in mind, just keepmoving forward and keep also a
lookout for being physically andemotionally burned out.
You know you don't.
(10:30):
This is not a race.
You know this is not a sprint,it's a marathon.
Success everybody thinks is astraight line.
It's not Take a big ball ofyarn and I'd actually better get
take a big knot whereeverything is just jumbled up in
a big mess and it might takeyou time to undo it.
Well, that's the way success is.
It's going to take time, it'sgoing to get messy, it's going
(10:51):
to get sticky, it's going to getrough, and you have to be able
to pick yourself up and justkeep moving forward with purpose
and passion and reconnect withyour why.
What's the reason you startedanyway?
That's the most powerful thing.
There's a reason you're doingthis.
There's a reason you want it.
You know, taking a break is nota permanent exit.
(11:13):
It's just an opportunity foryou to kind of regroup, reassess
and just kind of put a pause oneverything until you get more
clarity.
And that's okay, becausesometimes we need to do that.
And what I have found?
That if I put a pause onsomething and come back to it, I
come back stronger.
I have like a fresh set of eyeson it and I catch something
maybe I didn't see before.
(11:35):
Surround yourself with peoplethat know what they're doing.
You know, like I said, do yourresearch.
Surround yourself with mentors,look for a community that's
doing the same thing, that cangive you support.
You know, having a freshperspective will actually
reignite and resonate what youwant and what you're doing and
you may see something differentthat maybe you didn't see.
And remember to celebrate thesmall wins.
(11:58):
You know, progress might notalways be massive, but
recognizing small victories canbuild the momentum and your
confidence.
Now, every little thing thatyou do that is positive is going
to be a small victory, andthat's the thing you have to
focus on.
I think sometimes we get caughtup on what's not working.
We focus on that, we forget tocelebrate the things that are,
(12:19):
and that's what you need toleave your day with.
And always, always, always,visualize your finish line,
always visualize your end zone.
You know, think of how you'regoing to feel when you achieve
it and when you have that vision, it's always going to pull you
forward.
It's always going to bring youto the point of where you're
going to succeed.
(12:40):
And you've got this.
I mean, we all have gotsomething inside us that we're
looking to do and if you take itand remember to move forward
and believe it with every fiberof your being, you're going to
be unstoppable.
You really are and everythingthat you're doing is going to be
(13:00):
amazing towards not only foryou, but for everybody that
you're going to bring it to andwhat you're going to have to
offer.
Only you can offer whateveryou've got, because you are
unique and different and no oneelse can do what you can.
So, everybody, okay, bring itin, let's bring it up, bring it
up, let's go, let's go.
Okay, break on me Ready, startstrong, finish strong and
(13:22):
dominate everything in between.
I'm Coach Mickey, let's go.
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