The Power of Coaching: How One Sentence Can Change a Life - S2E14

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Words have incredible power, especially when they come from authority figures like coaches. A single sentence can completely transform how a young athlete sees themselves and their potential.

Coach Mikki pulls back the curtain on a frustrating pattern she's witnessed throughout her coaching career: the coach with an ego who tears players down rather than building them up. Drawing from current experiences coaching defensive linemen, Coach Mikki  shares stories of players who quit after demoralizing comments and others who flourished when given positive support despite being told they "weren't good enough."

The most successful teams don't necessarily have superior talent, they have superior mindsets. She explores how NFL teams can stage remarkable comebacks not because players suddenly become more skilled during halftime, but because their mental approach transforms. This same principle applies whether you're coaching youth football or leading in any capacity. We're not responsible for others' actions, but we are responsible for how we respond to situations and the words we choose in those moments.

What makes this conversation particularly powerful is her 25 years of coaching experience across multiple disciplines. She's observed that the most impactful messages in anyone's life typically come from parents, teachers, coaches, and friends, in that order. This places enormous responsibility on coaches to choose words carefully, understanding that what they say may echo in a young person's mind for decades.

Are you mindful of how your words affect others? Next time you're frustrated or disappointed, take a breath before speaking. Remember that whatever you put out as intention is what you'll get back. Let's make someone's life better today by choosing our words with care and compassion. Start strong, finish strong, and dominate everything in between!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Okay, bring it in, bring it in, listen up, listen
up.
Hey, I'm Coach Mickey andyou're here on 4thin1 Mindset.
Just like in football, one playcan change the whole game, but
in life, one sentence can changea person.
I've seen it so many times onthe field and off the field that

(00:53):
either something that is saidto a player can absolutely lift
them up or it can totallydevastate them.
And the reason I want to talkabout this today is I am
currently coaching.
I'm actually on a team and I'mcoaching.
I've had the privilege of beingthe D-line coach and I'm really
excited because, as you guysknow, I love my kids, I love

(01:16):
what I do and I love the factthat I get an opportunity to use
football as a vehicle to notonly help them be better players
but hopefully give them lifeskills.
And through the years that I'vebeen coaching without fail it
happens every single season.
Fail, it happens every singleseason.

(01:41):
I have got one coach, one everyteam that seems to have an ego,
think that they're better thaneverybody else.
Doesn't care what they say tothe kids, it's their way or no
way.
And it just frustrates me to noend because I see it.
I see it how it affects notonly the staff and the coaching
staff, but I also see how itaffects the kids.
So I wanted to do this podcasttoday because I got a couple

(02:05):
guys, since I've been at thislocation, that have decided to
either leave and not playanymore because it's something
that was said to them, or I havehad other kids that we're
working with that were told thatthey weren't good enough and
I've watched them thrive.
I have watched them excelfarther than anybody thought

(02:27):
that they could do.
Now I was handed a line of kidsthat I heard some had played
last year and others were on ateam but never had the
opportunity to play, based on achoice that was made by that
head coach of the team that theywere on last year.
And when you have got a seriesof things that happen or you see

(02:53):
as a coach, or you see as acoach you know it always leads
to the exact same outcome,whether it's good or bad, and I
take it very serious that what Isay to my guys is going to be
taken to heart, and I cannottell you how many of my kids
constantly come up to me and say, coach, was that good, coach?

(03:13):
Do I need to do somethingdifferent.
Or, coach, I'm sorry, coach,was that good Coach?
Do I need to do somethingdifferent?
Or, coach, I'm sorry, I messedup?
Or, coach, I made a mistake,and that's okay, because we all
make mistakes.
Shoot, I make mistakes.
There's a lot of material tocover, especially when you're
trying to learn in a shortperiod of time and then
implement it and then put it outon the field.
And then you gotta take 11 guysall trying to do the same thing

(03:35):
and run the same play, andthey've got different calls and
they're each and every one ofthem is trying to do the best
they can and it does, it clicksand it starts to work and, as
you can see, as time goes on andthrough practice that's why we
have practice is to be able tohelp them get to where they need
to be so this play can beexecuted.
You know when it comes gametime, although how they're

(03:58):
brought there is a wholedifferent story, because I've
seen one statement completelychange the momentum, whether
it's positive or negative, andif you've ever been out on the
field there and you guys know me, or, for those of you that
listen, that have been on myteams or on my team.
You know how I coach.
I'm all about lifting you upand if something goes haywire, I

(04:22):
just go hey, you know whatShort-term memory that's what
quarterbacks have to haveshort-term memory.
You shake it off, you let it go.
We can't change that last play,just go in and fix it.
Or if you don't understand,come to me and I'll say hey,
this is what I see, this is whatyou need to do, this is what we

(04:43):
need to run, or I'll walk youthrough it.
But what I'm not going to do isI'm not going to scream at you
and belittle you and call younames and make you feel as
though you are less than aperson that you are, and I have
to sometimes bite my tonguebecause I see it on the field.
And then I've made it my job togo in and undo the damage that

(05:05):
someone has said to them, to beable to get these kids in the
right mindset.
So the reason I'm sharing thiswith you is whether you play
football or you play a sport oryou, I don't care.
Whatever you're doing in yourlife, be responsible for what
you say to somebody, and I'mgoing to say this wholeheartedly

(05:25):
.
A lot of times we let ouremotions get in the way of the
words that come out of our mouth, and you have to stop and take
a breath and think about whatI'm about to say.
First of all, I can't take back, and what I'm about to say is
going to leave.
I can't take back and what I'mabout to say is going to leave
an impact, whether it's positiveor negative.

(05:45):
And the other thing, too, is weare not responsible for others'
actions.
We're only responsible for howwe respond.
So I'm going to say that again,we're not responsible for other
people's actions, we're onlyresponsible for how we respond.
And when I look at my playersand I look at my guys, I can see

(06:07):
sometimes how they respond.
I can see it in their bodylanguage, I can see what's
happening.
And then I think there's a fineline when you're an adult
talking to a kid or a child, youknow these are 15 year old kids
, 16 year old kids, and theylook up to you and they're
looking for guidance and they'rebelieving in you and they want
you to believe in them.
And when you don't believe inthem and you don't lift them up

(06:30):
and you don't help them achievewhat they need to do, all it
does is create turmoil and itbecomes a very toxic environment
.
And I have seen the differencebetween strong, winning teams
and I've seen the differencebetween teams that just cannot
come together.
And I can tell you right now,mindset is the main reason why
that's it.

(06:50):
I've seen it from Pop Warner tohigh school to college and, as
we all know, we've seen in theNFL.
We've seen NFL teams come backfrom being down, even in Super
Bowls, just come down from beingso far behind, and then they
come back and nothing changed.
Did their talent change?
Did they go into the lockerroom and all of a sudden,

(07:11):
somebody got better as thequarterback or somebody got
better as the running back ordefense.
All of a sudden was like, oh,we're better now.
No, the only thing that changedwas their mindset, and that's
so, so, so important.
And as a coach, myresponsibility is to make sure

(07:32):
that whatever words I'm feedinginto these kids' minds is going
to leave a positive impressionthat not only can they take with
them on the field or take withthem into a classroom or take
with them into a locker room,it's whatever I give them as a
positive reinforcement andinformation and ways of lifting
them up is what they're going totake with them the rest of

(07:54):
their lives.
I have worked as a life coachand a health coach and as a
football coach and you name it.
I probably have coached it andI can tell you the main common
denominator I've seen over my 25years of doing this is that
when I'm talking to somebody,the thing that leaves the most
lasting impression is somethingthat came from a parent, a

(08:15):
teacher, a coach or a friend,and usually it's within that
order.
So, as coaches, we have got ahuge responsibility to make sure
that whatever we're saying tothe kids or our players or just
anybody that you're working with, it will leave a lasting

(08:36):
impression.
So today I'm going to challengeyou to take a moment every time
something happens, to be ableto take a step back.
Think about what you're going tosay prior to letting it fly out
of your mouth with an emotionattached to it, and think about
how is it going to affect thatperson, because you cannot take

(08:58):
back what you say.
You can't.
So I want you to be able to beable to take this and realize
that whatever you're going toput out there as an intention is
what you're going to get back.
So let's go out there and makesomebody's life a little bit
better.
Let's win the day in a positiveway, not only for what we're

(09:21):
doing, but what's the differencethat we're making in somebody
else's life.
So bring it in.
Bring it in.
Let's start strong and finishstrong and dominate everything
in between.
Let's go.