When Emotions Test Us - S2E6

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A single game can transform an entire team philosophy. When one of my star players took a dangerous late hit – with the opposing player deliberately stepping on his helmet  our team's reaction changed everything. Instead of waiting for referee calls or retaliating with aggression, they instantly surrounded their fallen brother with unwavering support. "We've got you," they reassured him, demonstrating that true strength flows from unity, not talent alone.

This moment crystallized what became the 4thin1 Mindset. The scoreboard became secondary to our brotherhood. We didn't match dirty play with complaints or aggression; we responded with superior execution and disciplined performance. That night we became unshakable – not because we were the most talented team, but because our bond became unbreakable.

This principle extends beyond sports. I learned its personal application during a confrontation with a defensive coordinator who consistently undermined me, culminating in a sideline altercation where emotions nearly overwhelmed us both. That failure in emotional control became a powerful teaching moment about taking responsibility for our actions when tensions flare.

Whether on the field or in life, emotional regulation represents true strength. When reaching your boiling point, remember you cannot control others' actions  only your response. Surround yourself with people who create an unbreakable support system rather than dwelling on those who generate turmoil. The most meaningful victories come not from dominating others, but from mastering yourself in moments of intense pressure. Don't settle for surface-level relationships; seek the championship bonds that elevate everyone involved.

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Football Drip

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, bring it in.
Bring it in, listen up, listenup.
Hey, I'm Coach Mickey.
You're here on 4thin1 Mindset.
I've coached a lot of games overthe years, but I do have quite
a few that stick out in my mindand that is what brought me to
the 4thin1 Mindset.
So there was this oneparticular game that I'll never
forget.
I had a player who was a leaderon our team and this kid was

(00:25):
amazing.
Unfortunately, his mom hadshared with me, prior to me
having him on my team, thatother teams he had been on he
was treated very poorly, he wastreated very badly, and it was
really unfortunate that he wastreated this way because he was
an incredible and anextraordinary player.

(00:46):
And I think sometimes as coacheswe get players and unless
you're at the NFL level and evenI should say even at the NFL
level you're going to still haveto do drills and keep fine
tuning your skills, otherwiseyou wouldn't be great and you
wouldn't be there and youwouldn't stay there.
Obviously you wouldn't be thereand you wouldn't stay there,

(01:08):
obviously.
But when you get players at, Iwould say, the youth level and
I'm talking about the eighthgraders going up into freshmen
and then into high school andthen into college, they're
always fine-tuning their skillsand you really never know what
kind of a player you're going tohave unless you help them fine
tune those skills and you havethe patience and the time and
the energy to do that.
So this one particular game hetook a late hit.

(01:33):
We were playing against a teamand they weren't exactly having
calls played by the referees,and that's okay.
I don't judge my games on whatthe referees are going to call.
I judge my games on what we'recapable of Anyway.
So this kid took a late hit andit wasn't so bad that he took a
late hit.
But also, as the kid steppedoff the field that hit him, he

(01:57):
proceeded to step on his helmetand hit his head again on the
ground and he didn't move rightaway, which scared the hell out
of me and everybody else, andthe whole field went silent.
And as I'm watching this andI'm getting ready to run out, as
I wait for the refs, they goout there.
His teammates didn't wait, theywere already out there.

(02:17):
They didn't look at me, theyjust ran straight to him.
None of them retaliated, butthey surrounded him and they
picked him up and they saidwe've got you, we've got you.
And as they brought him off thefield and I watched two of my
players and he was a big guy asthey brought him off the field,
my other ones ran in there andthen my substitute, who was

(02:40):
going to take his place, and hegoes I got you, I got you, man,
I got you.
And that's when everythingchanged.
It wasn't about that scoreboardanymore, it was about the
brotherhood.
And that night we didn't justwin the game, we actually became
unshakable.
Not because we were the mosttalented team, not because we
had the most skilled guys.
It's because we becameunbreakable with our bond and

(03:03):
that every person was going tostrive to get back and win.
They wanted to win.
They wanted to prove that otherteam that you couldn't pull
that crap on us and we weren'tgoing to retaliate.
But we did it with our pads, wedid it with winning, we did it
with our skill.
We didn't do it with abrasivewords or getting out of control
or calling penalties.

(03:24):
We did it by going in and doingour job.
And that's not an easy thing todo it really isn't because it
takes a lot of courage and a lotof strength to go in and take
responsibility for what you needto do and not do something that
you allow your emotions to getthe best of you.

(03:46):
And I've done that before and Itotally get it.
It is not an easy thing to do.
There's times where we havethese things happen in our lives
that just set us off.
We get frustrated, we getannoyed, we get to the point
where we just can't take itanymore and it's like what are
we supposed to do with it?
How are we supposed to dealwith that inner anger that is

(04:08):
just frustrating and pissing usoff, when you know sometimes
there's nothing you can do?
Well, the only thing you can dois be responsible for your own
actions.
The only thing you can do is beresponsible for your own
actions.
So I'll tell you something thathappened with me.
It was my second year coachingat the high school level and
another coach came in and he wasdefensive coordinator.

(04:32):
Now, all my other coaches I gotalong with great, a lot of them
I didn't even work with,because when you're working as a
special teams coordinator, someyou work with, some you don't
You're just going out theredoing your job.
I mean, we, we talked andcollaborated when we were
supposed to, such, when it was akickoff and you know, with my
offensive coordinator and youknow, but defensive coordinator
made it difficult and the reasonI say this is he would belittle

(04:55):
me in front of my guys.
He would tell me I was wrong.
There was even one point whereI had suggested to run a double
vice against a team I knew wasgoing to be difficult.
And if you're not familiar witha double vices on punt return,
it's when you bring the twooutside line backers to join the
corners so they can both kindof double team the gunners going

(05:18):
downfield and then also theirjob is to also watch if anything
comes around, if it's a fake.
So they kind of do two jobs.
But it's pretty difficult to doand you've got to have some
strong guys that know and canread the line and read the
backfield.
Well, he proceeded to tell meduring oh, she doesn't know what
she's talking about.
That's stupid.
I, you know, I've never heardof that.

(05:39):
What is it?
So I was prepared and I hadbrought in and what gave me the
idea was I saw it on, uh, an NFLgame that Sunday prior and I
thought that's brilliant.
I know I'm going to do that andI got the guys that can do it
and that's an easy thing to do.
So I had screenshot that playand then I showed him.
I said this and I went to thehead coach.

(06:00):
I said, coach, this is what adouble vice looks like.
I'm going to bring the twooutside linebackers up.
And he's like, okay, yeah, ifyou think you can do it, go for
it.
So he believed in me.
I didn't have a problem.
But we also, during that game,we had a kid that we were
playing against who was asuperstar, and we did not want
to kick to him on kickoff everbecause he was just.
He was just that player.

(06:21):
That was amazing.
And when we got to one area ofour game where we had to go back
to kickoff and we were gettingour hats handed to us, I mean,
this team was good and they hadgood players and they knew their
stuff and they were very tightknit.
They were very tight knit and Ithink that was the difference
between them and us.
It's going to be difficult tobeat because they're dialed in,

(06:42):
because they want it really bad.
Anyway, I had told my kicker toplease don't kick it to the left
.
I said I don't want to go intothat player.
Squib, kick it to the right andtry to get to somebody else.
Well, he kicked it straight tothe kid that I didn't want him
to kick it to, and that's ofcourse.
He ran it in for a touchdown.
Well, my defensive coordinatorcame at me full blaze.

(07:06):
Not only was he screamingobscenities to me, but he was
also here.
I can't believe you did that.
You're stupid, you shouldn't behere.
You're a mistake.
This is during a game by theway, on the sideline.
You know you shouldn't be here.
And I said game by the way, onthe sideline, you know you
shouldn't be here.
And I said I was so annoyed andso pissed off.
I threw down my clipboard andI'm like okay, you want to do
this, let's do this now.
Come on, let's go.
And I started going towards him.

(07:27):
He was coming towards me.
Right about then my longsnapper and two of my other guys
got in front of me and then Iwatched two other guys on the
other sideline pull him off andpull him back and go.
We got you, coach, we got youcoach.
And I was like, okay, I'm good,I'm cool, I'm good.
And I knew right then and there,that was such a stupid move,

(07:49):
because I should have neverallowed my emotions to get the
best of me.
Well, when we were at halftime,the head coach chewed my ass
out, and rightfully so.
He's like come on, we're losingthis game, you know.
We're getting our hats handedto us.
And now I've got both mycoordinators going after each
other.
I guess what the hell's wrongwith you guys?
And I'm like you're right,you're right, I shouldn't have

(08:12):
let my emotions get the best ofme.
I said it was unacceptable.
I I said it was unacceptable.
I know we've talked about this.
This is something we addressoff the field and I'm sorry.
And at that point in time Iextended my hand out to the
defensive coordinator and hewouldn't even acknowledge me.
He wouldn't shake my handbecause I said truce.
I said can we just get throughthe game?
And he wouldn't acknowledge me.
I thought, fine, that's fine.

(08:39):
And I walked away.
And I thought to myself you know, I just did everything I'm
supposed to do, which isacknowledge what happened, own
it.
Own it because it was my fault,and step up and be above that
and when you have got a way ofdigging down deep to be the
better person and what I mean bythat is not allowing your

(09:00):
emotions to get to the best ofyou, where it takes on something
ugly, that's really the win,and I've seen it so many times
on the field.
I've seen it all the way up tothe NFL, where emotions just get
the best of them and then theystart with fighting or they pull
penalties, or it gets reallyugly.
And what's the win in that?

(09:22):
You're going to look back on itand go man, I was just so mad
that I allowed my emotions toget the best of me, to create
this turmoil, and then somethingthat just not affects you, but
it affects your whole team.
So next time you have somethingthat's happening whether it be
at work, at school, with family,with wherever it may be and it

(09:45):
just pushes you to the pointwhere you've at the boiling
point, where you feel like youwant to explode.
I know it's not easy I'm notgoing to tell you it is, but
it's also the best thing for you, because the only thing you're
in control of is your actions.
So take a deep breath, realizethat you're not going to be able

(10:05):
to change these people that aredoing what they're doing,
saying what they're saying,thinking what they're thinking,
and that you are the better andbigger person when it comes to
dealing with this stuff.
Go out there and becomeunshakable and surround yourself
with those that have theunbreakable bond with you, that
have always got your back andthey're going to lift you up and

(10:28):
help build you up, becausethose are the ones you need to
focus on, not the ones that arecausing the turmoil.
Don't settle for a surface levelrelationship.
Go after the ones that aregoing to be solid and bring you
the championship outcome thatyou're looking for.
All right, bring it in.
Bring it in On me and on three.
Start strong and finish strongand dominate everything in

(10:51):
between.
I'm Coach Mickey, let's go.