March 6, 2025 • 18 mins
Introduction
Hello and welcome to today's podcast. I'm Teru Nakashima, a psychological counselor and educator from "Japan", and I'm delighted to be speaking with you today about a philosophy that has profoundly shaped my, approach to life and my work with clients.
Today, we're exploring one of the most powerful concepts from the American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson – the idea of "being true to yourself." In his seminal essay "Self-Reliance," Emerson wrote, "To be yourself, in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." These words, written in the 19th century, carry perhaps even more significance in our modern world.
Ralph Waldo Emerson was a leading voice in American transcendentalism, a philosophical movement that emphasized individual intuition, the divinity of nature, and the importance of self-reliance. His ideas have influenced countless thinkers, writers, civil rights activists, and even modern business leaders. Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, was deeply influenced by Emerson's ideas on individualism. In Japan, Yukichi Fukuzawa, who helped modernize Japan during the Meiji Era, drew inspiration from Emerson's emphasis on independent thinking. And in recent times, President Barack Obama has repeatedly referenced Emerson's philosophy in his speeches about American resilience and self-determination.
In the next 30 minutes, we'll explore what it truly means to be faithful to yourself, why this concept remains vital in our modern world, and how we can practically apply Emerson's wisdom to create lives of genuine fulfillment and purpose.
Part 1: Emerson's Philosophy of Self-Reliance
Let's begin by understanding the core of Emerson's philosophy. What does it actually mean to "be true to yourself"?
In his essay "Self-Reliance," published in 1841, Emerson argued against conformity and for the supreme importance of trusting one's own instincts and ideas. He wrote, "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think." This statement reflects his belief that we must follow our own internal compass rather than being guided by public opinion or societal expectations.
Emerson further emphasized, "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." For him, the greatest sin was not some external transgression but betraying your own authentic nature – what he called "self-betrayal." He believed that each individual has unique insights and gifts to offer the world, but these can only emerge when we have the courage to trust ourselves.
Perhaps his most famous line from "Self-Reliance" captures this perfectly: "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string." Emerson believed that deep within each of us is an intuitive knowledge of our own path – what he called the "aboriginal Self" or the "gleam of light" that shines through us. When we honor this inner knowing, we access our greatest power and authenticity.
But Emerson was not advocating for mere selfishness or isolation. Rather, he believed that by being true to ourselves, we make our greatest contribution to humanity. As he wrote, "A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace." In other words, our truest joy and peace come from expressing our authentic nature in service to the world.
Emerson also acknowledged how difficult this path can be. "For nonconformity, the world whips you with its displeasure," he warned. Yet he insisted that the rewards of self-trust far outweigh the te
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back.
Today we're going to be divingdeep into this idea of
self-reliance.
It's a concept that's well.
It feels incredibly timely,even though it comes from a
philosopher, ralph Waldo Emerson, who was writing back in the
1800s in America.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, it's amazing how relevant Emerson's stuff
still is today.
I mean, you think about it.
We're constantly bombarded withall these messages telling us
who to be, what to buy.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
You've got ads everywhere, social media
algorithms kind of nudging ourviews, it's like a never ending
stream of noise right, like itmakes it so hard to even hear
your own, like inner voicesometimes.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Exactly, and that's actually at the heart of what
Emerson was getting at.
He called it the aboriginalself, this kind of intuitive
wisdom that we're all born with.
It's like our inner compass,you know.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, so we've got this aboriginal self that we
need to tap into.
But when Emerson talked aboutself-reliance, what did he
actually mean?
Some people think it means likebeing a total lone wolf,
completely independent.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Not quite.
He wasn't saying we shouldisolate ourselves or reject all
outside influence.
It was more about learning totrust your own instincts, your
own judgment, even when you knowit might mean going against
what everyone else is doing orsaying.
He has this really powerfulquote.
What I must do is all thatconcerns me, not what the people
think.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Wow, that's.
That's pretty profound.
Makes you stop and think, like,how often do we hold ourselves
back from doing something wereally want to do just because
we're worried about what otherpeople might think you?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
know it's a struggle, right.
I mean, society definitelytends to reward people who just
go along with the crowd, butEmerson's point was that when
you conform to stuff that youdon't actually believe in, it
weakens you.
He talked about it asscattering your force.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That makes me think of times when I've've like tried
to fit into some mold.
That just didn't feel right.
It was exhausting and, honestly, it didn't really lead to any
kind of genuine happiness.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, and that's exactly what Emerson was warning
against.
He was convinced that truefulfillment, true happiness,
comes from expressing yourauthentic self, even if it means
being different, standing outfrom the crowd.
The question is, how do weactually do that, especially in
today's world?
How do we cultivate that kindof self-trust when there's so
much pressure to conform?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
That's the million dollar question, right.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Okay.
But, luckily, Emerson actuallygave us some pretty practical
guidance on that, didn't he?
He did.
And there's also another expertwho can help us bridge those
ideas to our modern lives, aJapanese counselor named Teru
Nakashima.
He's written a lot about thisstuff.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Okay, now I'm intrigued.
Tell me more about Nakashimaand how his work connects to
what Emerson was saying.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So Nakashima actually sees a pretty strong parallel
between Emerson and a key figurein Japan's modernization, a guy
named Yukichi Fukuzawa.
They both really emphasized theimportance of independent
thinking, like breaking freefrom those outdated traditions.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Wow, so Emerson's ideas really had a global reach.
It's amazing.
But getting back to thepractical stuff, what specific
advice did Emerson and Nakashimahave for actually building up
that self-trust?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
One thing they both stressed was the importance of
listening to your inner voice,carving out some time for
solitude, you know, even if it'sjust like 10 minutes a day, for
some journaling or meditation,quieting all that external noise
and reconnecting with thataboriginal self.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, it's like you have to create that space for
your inner wisdom to kind ofbubble up to the surface, right?
But what about when it comes toactually making decisions?
How can we be more self-reliantin our actions?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Well, it's not just about listening.
It's about acting on what youhear.
Emerson was really big on theidea that self-trust grows when
you take action, even littlesteps, as long as they're in
line with your values.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
So like what's one decision I could make today,
right now, that would reflect mytrue self, even if it's
something that maybe otherpeople wouldn't necessarily
understand or approve of?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That's it, and you know when those inevitable
setbacks come up, because theyalways do right.
Nobody's perfect.
Remember how Emerson looked atfailure.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah, he wasn't exactly a fan of that whole
striving for perfection thing,was he?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Nope, he saw failure as a chance to learn, a valuable
opportunity, not some kind ofsetback.
He believed that your strengthactually come from those
weaknesses.
So you know, instead of beatingyourself up when something
doesn't go as planned, tryasking yourself what can I learn
from this?
What's this teaching me?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I love that.
It's like reframing thoseso-called mistakes as like
lessons learned, right, notdefeats.
Yeah now, you mentioned earlierthat nakashima developed this
whole framework called the sixsenses of self-affirmation.
What's that all about?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
oh yeah, it's a really interesting way of
looking at how we can nurturedifferent aspects of ourselves,
ultimately building up thatstronger sense of self, and he
uses this great analogy of atree oh, I love a good analogy.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Tell me more.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Okay, so picture the roots of a tree.
Those represent your self-worth, that fundamental belief in
your inherent value, like you'reworthy, regardless of your
achievements or what anyone elsesays.
Right, then you've got thetrunk, and that symbolizes
self-acceptance, like embracingevery part of yourself, even the
messy bits.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Okay, roots for self-worth, trunk for
self-acceptance.
I'm with you so far.
What about the branches then?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
The branches represent self-efficacy, that
feeling of being able toactually make things happen,
achieve your goals.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
And I'm guessing those leaves have something to
do with self-reliance, huh.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You got it.
Self-reliance is like thoseleaves taking in sunlight,
converting it into nourishmentfor the whole tree but it
doesn't stop there.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Wait, there's more to this tree.
I'm on the edge of my seat here.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
You've got the flowers, which represent
self-determination, that abilityto make choices that are in
line with your values.
And finally you have the fruit,and that symbolizes
self-usefulness, that feelingthat your unique gifts can
actually contribute to the worldin a meaningful way.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Wow, that's such a vivid image.
It really highlights how allthose elements self-worth,
acceptance, efficacy,determination, usefulness are
all connected and contribute to,like, a strong and healthy
sense of self.
But where does Emerson'sconcept of self-reliance fit
into all of this?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Well, I think it's the linchpin.
Honestly, it's the thing thatholds it all together.
It's about trusting your owninner compass, having the
courage to act on what youbelieve in and viewing
challenges as opportunities forgrowth.
When you cultivate thatself-reliance, it actually
empowers you to embrace allthose other senses your worth,
your acceptance, your ability tomake a difference.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I'm already feeling more empowered just thinking
about it.
It's incredibly inspiring, butI have to admit it's still kind
of abstract.
You know like, do we have anyreal world examples of people
who embodied this self-alliance,people who actually lived this
philosophy?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Oh, absolutely.
And the coolest part is theseexamples aren't just historical
figures.
They're people who faced realchallenges, just like we do, and
made a difference because theyhad that self-belief ready for
some inspiration.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Bring it on, I'm all ears.
So who are these inspiringfolks who really embodied this
self-reliance thing?
I need some examples to likereally make this concept click
for me.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Okay, well, let's start with someone you're
probably familiar with MartinLuther King Jr.
I mean, if you think about hislife and work, it's a pretty
powerful example ofself-reliance and action.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh, absolutely.
He stood up for what hebelieved in, even when it was
dangerous, even when most peopledisagreed.
He wasn't afraid to likechallenge the status quo.
That takes some serious courage.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Exactly and that I have a dream speech.
It's so perfectly capturesthose ideas from Emerson about
moral courage and trusting yourgut.
You know, King was actuallyreally influenced by those
transcendentalist thinkers likeEmerson and it shows in his like
unwavering commitment to hisvision, even when he was facing
so much opposition.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah, that reminds me of something Emerson wrote,
something like to be great is tobe misunderstood, and King was
definitely misunderstood by alot of people, but he stayed
true to what he believed in.
That's a huge lesson for all ofus.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
For sure.
And think about his philosophyof nonviolent resistance.
I mean that takes unbelievableinner strength and conviction.
He was willing to face violencewith peace, trusting that love
would ultimately win out.
That's self-reliance on a wholeother level, trusting in
something bigger than yourself,even when the world around you
feels like it's falling apart.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
It's so inspiring.
Okay, so we've got this amazingcivil rights leader as a prime
example of self-reliance.
Who else comes to mind?
Something completely different,maybe.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
How about let's jump into the world of technology?
What about Steve Jobs?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Steve Jobs Interesting.
I wouldn't have likeimmediately connected him with
Emerson, but now that youmention it, yeah, yeah, I can
see it.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Oh for sure Jobs was such a visionary, totally driven
by his intuition.
Do you remember that Stanfordcommencement speech he gave?
He told those graduates to liveyour own life and not to waste
time living someone else's.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh yeah, that's the one with the line.
Your time is limited, so don'twaste it living someone else's
life yeah, Such powerful advice.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Right and those words .
They echo what Emerson wassaying about not just blindly
following the crowd.
Almost perfectly, jobs reallybelieved in trusting your gut,
even when everyone else istelling you that you're wrong.
His whole approach toinnovation you know that focus
on user experience, designingproducts that people didn't even
know they needed yet was allabout trusting his own vision.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And look what he accomplished.
He revolutionized, like entireindustries, by following his own
path.
That's a pretty incredibleexample of how self-reliance can
create real change in the world.
But it also makes me thinkwasn't Jobs also known for being
well, really demanding, maybeeven difficult to work with?
Does that kind of come with theterritory of being self-reliant
?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Hmm, that's a great question and I think it brings
up this point that self-relianceisn't about becoming some
perfect, flawless person.
It's about trusting that innervoice, even when it leads you
down a path that's maybe alittle unconventional.
And, yeah, sometimes that mightmean ruffling some feathers,
you know, challenging the waythings have always been done.
(09:52):
But as Emerson said, fornonconformity the world whips
you with its displeasure.
It's kind of the price you payfor being true to yourself.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
That's true.
It's definitely not always easyto be self-reliant.
It takes courage to stand upfor what you believe in,
especially when you're facingresistance.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Absolutely.
And it's not just about thesebig sweeping gestures or
changing the world, you know.
It's those everyday choices,big or small, where you decide
to honor your own truth, even ifit's something as simple as
saying no when you don't want todo something, or voicing your
opinion when everyone else seemsto agree.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
So it's more about those small acts of courage,
that kind of build up over time.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, exactly, and the more you use that muscle,
the stronger it gets.
You start trusting your ownjudgment more and you become
less influenced by all thoseexternal pressures and opinions.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
That makes a lot of sense.
It's like anything else, right.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
The more you practice , the better you get.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Totally.
Now, speaking of practice,let's circle back to those six
senses of self-affirmation for asecond.
We talked about self-worth andself-acceptance, those roots and
the trunk of our metaphoricaltree, and self-acceptance, those
roots in the trunk of ourmetaphorical tree.
But what about those branches,that sense of self-efficacy,
that belief in your ability toactually make things happen?
How do we cultivate that?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
That's a great question, because believing in
yourself is one thing, butactually feeling capable of
achieving your goals, that's awhole other ballgame.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
What did Emerson and Nakashima have to say about
boosting that self-efficacy?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Well, they both really emphasized the power of
taking action, of actually doingstuff that aligns with those
values and aspirations you have.
It's not enough to just thinkabout what you want to achieve.
You got to take concrete stepsto get there.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
So it's like the old saying, actions speak louder
than words.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Exactly, it's about taking those steps, even when
they seem small, maybe eveninsignificant at first, because
each action, each success, nomatter how small, builds your
confidence and reinforces thatbelief of hey, I can do this.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
You know that reminds me of something I read about
forming new habits.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
The advice was to start small, like ridiculously
small, so that you're almostguaranteed to succeed, like if
you want to start exercising.
Don't try to commit to an hourat the gym every day.
Right away, start with justfive minutes.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
That's a perfect example.
It's about setting yourself upfor success and building that
momentum gradually, and itapplies to building
self-reliance too.
Start with those small acts ofself-trust, and as you gain
confidence, you'll naturallyfeel more equipped to handle
bigger challenges.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I love that.
It makes self-reliance seem waymore approachable and
attainable.
But what about those othersenses?
You mentionedself-determination and
self-usefulness.
How do those fit into thepicture?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Right.
So self-determination is allabout making those choices that
align with your values, evenwhen it's tough, even when it's
unpopular.
It's about being the captain ofyour own ship, as they say, and
(12:51):
self-usefulness.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
That's about recognizing those unique gifts
and talents you have and usingthem to actually contribute
something positive to the world.
So it's not just about beingindependent and self-sufficient,
but also about using yourabilities to like make a
difference.
That has a whole otherdimension to self-reliance.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
It's about knowing that you have something valuable
to offer and then having thecourage to share it.
And it doesn't have to besomething huge or world-changing
.
You know, it could be simple asbeing a good friend, a
supportive family member or ahelpful coworker.
It's about using those talentsand strengths.
You have to make a positiveimpact, no matter how small.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I love that perspective.
It makes self-reliance feelless about ego and more about
contributing to something biggerthan yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
It's like.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
We're all part of this interconnected web, and our
individual acts ofself-reliance can actually
strengthen the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
That's a beautiful way to put it, and it goes back
to Emerson's belief in theinherent goodness of humanity
and the potential we all have.
He truly believed that when wetrust ourselves and act from a
place of authenticity, we're notonly benefiting ourselves, but
we're also contributing to thatcollective good.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
So in a way, self-reliance isn't just a
personal journey, it's also kindof social responsibility.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I think that's a really strong argument.
When we embrace our ownindividuality and express those
unique gifts, we inspire otherpeople to do the same.
It creates this ripple effectthat can transform communities
and even whole societies.
Think back to Martin LutherKing Jr His act of self-reliance
, of standing up for what hebelieved in.
It inspired a movement thatchanged history.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It's a powerful reminder that our actions, even
those seemingly small ones, canhave far-reaching consequences.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Absolutely.
And it all comes back to thatcentral question how do we
cultivate this self-reliance inour own lives?
How do we tap into that innerstrength and wisdom and use it
to create a life that's bothfulfilling and meaningful?
One way is to just look forthose opportunities to practice
self-trust, those little momentsthat pop up every day, those
moments where you can choose tohonor your truth even when it's
(14:44):
hard.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Okay, so like what?
Can you give me a concreteexample?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Sure, imagine you're in a meeting, at work, and
everybody seems to be on boardwith a certain plan, but deep
down you have a differentperspective, or maybe you see
some potential problems thatnobody else has noticed.
In that moment, do you speak upand share your thoughts, even
if it means going against thegrain, or do you just stay quiet
and go along with everyone else?
(15:08):
That's a chance to practiceself-reliance.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Right, it's about trusting your own judgment, even
when it feels a little risky oruncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Exactly, and even if your suggestion isn't ultimately
the one they go with, the veryact of speaking up, sharing your
view, it strengthens thatself-trust muscle, it reinforces
that idea that, hey, I can dothis, I can trust myself.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So it's not even about the outcome.
It's more about the process oflike staying true to yourself.
You got it.
It's more about the process oflike staying true to yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You got it.
It's those small acts ofcourage that build up over time
and ultimately lead to astronger, more authentic sense
of who you are.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yeah, that's a really good point.
You don't have to wait for somebig life changing moment to
start, you know, living moreself-reliantly.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
You can start right now, today, with something small
.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Absolutely.
We've talked about all theseamazing people like Martin
Luther King Jr and Steve Jobs,but this whole self-reliance
thing, it's not just for thosebig-time world changers or tech
geniuses.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It's for everybody.
It's those little everydaychoices that add up.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Like yeah, like speaking up in that meeting when
you see things differently, orsetting those boundaries with a
loved one, even when it's hard,exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Those, exactly those, are acts of self-reliance right
there, building up thatself-trust muscle, one step at a
time.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
And as you keep doing that, those things that used to
seem scary they start to feeleasier and you find yourself
taking on bigger challenges.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
It's not about reaching some final destination,
you know.
It's more like embracing thejourney of becoming more and
more yourself, trusting your ownintuition, having the courage
to create a life that reallyreflects who you are.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I love that Self-reliance really means and
I'm definitely feeling inspiredto put these ideas into action
in my own life.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Me too, and I hope everyone listening is feeling
that same spark.
Remember, self-reliance isn'tsome finish line you cross.
It's a way of living, a way ofbeing.
It's about cultivating thatinner strength, that connection
to your true self, and thenhaving the guts to actually live
from that place, day after day,choice after choice.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So well said.
To wrap up this deep dive, I'mgoing to leave you with one
final thought from Emersonhimself.
He said nothing can bring youpeace but yourself.
Nothing can bring you peace butthe triumph of principles.
So I encourage you to take sometime to really think about what
those principles are for you,what truly matters to you deep
down inside, and then have thecourage to actually live by them
(17:45):
.
That's where you'll find realpeace, real fulfillment.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
That's beautiful.
I think that's the perfect noteto end on.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Thanks so much for joining us on this deep dive
into Emersonian self-reliance.
We hope you found it insightfuland inspiring.
Until next time, keep trustingyourselves, keep exploring and
keep shining your own uniquelight on the world.
Hey everyone, welcome back.
Today we're going to be divingdeep into this idea of
self-reliance.
It's a concept that's well.
It feels incredibly timely,even though it comes from a
philosopher, ralph Waldo Emerson, who was writing back in the
1800s in America.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, it's amazing how relevant Emerson's stuff
still is today.
I mean, you think about it.
We're constantly bombarded withall these messages telling us
who to be, what to buy.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
You've got ads everywhere, social media
algorithms kind of nudging ourviews, it's like a never ending
stream of noise right, like itmakes it so hard to even hear
your own, like inner voicesometimes.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Exactly, and that's actually at the heart of what
Emerson was getting at.
He called it the aboriginalself, this kind of intuitive
wisdom that we're all born with.
It's like our inner compass,you know.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, so we've got this aboriginal self that we
need to tap into.
But when Emerson talked aboutself-reliance, what did he
actually mean?
Some people think it means likebeing a total lone wolf,
completely independent.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Not quite.
He wasn't saying we shouldisolate ourselves or reject all
outside influence.
It was more about learning totrust your own instincts, your
own judgment, even when you knowit might mean going against
what everyone else is doing orsaying.
He has this really powerfulquote.
What I must do is all thatconcerns me, not what the people
think.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Wow, that's.
That's pretty profound.
Makes you stop and think, like,how often do we hold ourselves
back from doing something wereally want to do just because
we're worried about what otherpeople might think you?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
know it's a struggle, right.
I mean, society definitelytends to reward people who just
go along with the crowd, butEmerson's point was that when
you conform to stuff that youdon't actually believe in, it
weakens you.
He talked about it asscattering your force.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That makes me think of times when I've've like tried
to fit into some mold.
That just didn't feel right.
It was exhausting and, honestly, it didn't really lead to any
kind of genuine happiness.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, and that's exactly what Emerson was warning
against.
He was convinced that truefulfillment, true happiness,
comes from expressing yourauthentic self, even if it means
being different, standing outfrom the crowd.
The question is, how do weactually do that, especially in
today's world?
How do we cultivate that kindof self-trust when there's so
much pressure to conform?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
That's the million dollar question, right.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Okay.
But, luckily, Emerson actuallygave us some pretty practical
guidance on that, didn't he?
He did.
And there's also another expertwho can help us bridge those
ideas to our modern lives, aJapanese counselor named Teru
Nakashima.
He's written a lot about thisstuff.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Okay, now I'm intrigued.
Tell me more about Nakashimaand how his work connects to
what Emerson was saying.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So Nakashima actually sees a pretty strong parallel
between Emerson and a key figurein Japan's modernization, a guy
named Yukichi Fukuzawa.
They both really emphasized theimportance of independent
thinking, like breaking freefrom those outdated traditions.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Wow, so Emerson's ideas really had a global reach.
It's amazing.
But getting back to thepractical stuff, what specific
advice did Emerson and Nakashimahave for actually building up
that self-trust?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
One thing they both stressed was the importance of
listening to your inner voice,carving out some time for
solitude, you know, even if it'sjust like 10 minutes a day, for
some journaling or meditation,quieting all that external noise
and reconnecting with thataboriginal self.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, it's like you have to create that space for
your inner wisdom to kind ofbubble up to the surface, right?
But what about when it comes toactually making decisions?
How can we be more self-reliantin our actions?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Well, it's not just about listening.
It's about acting on what youhear.
Emerson was really big on theidea that self-trust grows when
you take action, even littlesteps, as long as they're in
line with your values.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
So like what's one decision I could make today,
right now, that would reflect mytrue self, even if it's
something that maybe otherpeople wouldn't necessarily
understand or approve of?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That's it, and you know when those inevitable
setbacks come up, because theyalways do right.
Nobody's perfect.
Remember how Emerson looked atfailure.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah, he wasn't exactly a fan of that whole
striving for perfection thing,was he?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Nope, he saw failure as a chance to learn, a valuable
opportunity, not some kind ofsetback.
He believed that your strengthactually come from those
weaknesses.
So you know, instead of beatingyourself up when something
doesn't go as planned, tryasking yourself what can I learn
from this?
What's this teaching me?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I love that.
It's like reframing thoseso-called mistakes as like
lessons learned, right, notdefeats.
Yeah now, you mentioned earlierthat nakashima developed this
whole framework called the sixsenses of self-affirmation.
What's that all about?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
oh yeah, it's a really interesting way of
looking at how we can nurturedifferent aspects of ourselves,
ultimately building up thatstronger sense of self, and he
uses this great analogy of atree oh, I love a good analogy.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Tell me more.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Okay, so picture the roots of a tree.
Those represent your self-worth, that fundamental belief in
your inherent value, like you'reworthy, regardless of your
achievements or what anyone elsesays.
Right, then you've got thetrunk, and that symbolizes
self-acceptance, like embracingevery part of yourself, even the
messy bits.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Okay, roots for self-worth, trunk for
self-acceptance.
I'm with you so far.
What about the branches then?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
The branches represent self-efficacy, that
feeling of being able toactually make things happen,
achieve your goals.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
And I'm guessing those leaves have something to
do with self-reliance, huh.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You got it.
Self-reliance is like thoseleaves taking in sunlight,
converting it into nourishmentfor the whole tree but it
doesn't stop there.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Wait, there's more to this tree.
I'm on the edge of my seat here.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
You've got the flowers, which represent
self-determination, that abilityto make choices that are in
line with your values.
And finally you have the fruit,and that symbolizes
self-usefulness, that feelingthat your unique gifts can
actually contribute to the worldin a meaningful way.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Wow, that's such a vivid image.
It really highlights how allthose elements self-worth,
acceptance, efficacy,determination, usefulness are
all connected and contribute to,like, a strong and healthy
sense of self.
But where does Emerson'sconcept of self-reliance fit
into all of this?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Well, I think it's the linchpin.
Honestly, it's the thing thatholds it all together.
It's about trusting your owninner compass, having the
courage to act on what youbelieve in and viewing
challenges as opportunities forgrowth.
When you cultivate thatself-reliance, it actually
empowers you to embrace allthose other senses your worth,
your acceptance, your ability tomake a difference.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I'm already feeling more empowered just thinking
about it.
It's incredibly inspiring, butI have to admit it's still kind
of abstract.
You know like, do we have anyreal world examples of people
who embodied this self-alliance,people who actually lived this
philosophy?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Oh, absolutely.
And the coolest part is theseexamples aren't just historical
figures.
They're people who faced realchallenges, just like we do, and
made a difference because theyhad that self-belief ready for
some inspiration.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Bring it on, I'm all ears.
So who are these inspiringfolks who really embodied this
self-reliance thing?
I need some examples to likereally make this concept click
for me.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Okay, well, let's start with someone you're
probably familiar with MartinLuther King Jr.
I mean, if you think about hislife and work, it's a pretty
powerful example ofself-reliance and action.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh, absolutely.
He stood up for what hebelieved in, even when it was
dangerous, even when most peopledisagreed.
He wasn't afraid to likechallenge the status quo.
That takes some serious courage.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Exactly and that I have a dream speech.
It's so perfectly capturesthose ideas from Emerson about
moral courage and trusting yourgut.
You know, King was actuallyreally influenced by those
transcendentalist thinkers likeEmerson and it shows in his like
unwavering commitment to hisvision, even when he was facing
so much opposition.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah, that reminds me of something Emerson wrote,
something like to be great is tobe misunderstood, and King was
definitely misunderstood by alot of people, but he stayed
true to what he believed in.
That's a huge lesson for all ofus.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
For sure.
And think about his philosophyof nonviolent resistance.
I mean that takes unbelievableinner strength and conviction.
He was willing to face violencewith peace, trusting that love
would ultimately win out.
That's self-reliance on a wholeother level, trusting in
something bigger than yourself,even when the world around you
feels like it's falling apart.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
It's so inspiring.
Okay, so we've got this amazingcivil rights leader as a prime
example of self-reliance.
Who else comes to mind?
Something completely different,maybe.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
How about let's jump into the world of technology?
What about Steve Jobs?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Steve Jobs Interesting.
I wouldn't have likeimmediately connected him with
Emerson, but now that youmention it, yeah, yeah, I can
see it.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Oh for sure Jobs was such a visionary, totally driven
by his intuition.
Do you remember that Stanfordcommencement speech he gave?
He told those graduates to liveyour own life and not to waste
time living someone else's.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh yeah, that's the one with the line.
Your time is limited, so don'twaste it living someone else's
life yeah, Such powerful advice.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Right and those words .
They echo what Emerson wassaying about not just blindly
following the crowd.
Almost perfectly, jobs reallybelieved in trusting your gut,
even when everyone else istelling you that you're wrong.
His whole approach toinnovation you know that focus
on user experience, designingproducts that people didn't even
know they needed yet was allabout trusting his own vision.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And look what he accomplished.
He revolutionized, like entireindustries, by following his own
path.
That's a pretty incredibleexample of how self-reliance can
create real change in the world.
But it also makes me thinkwasn't Jobs also known for being
well, really demanding, maybeeven difficult to work with?
Does that kind of come with theterritory of being self-reliant
?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Hmm, that's a great question and I think it brings
up this point that self-relianceisn't about becoming some
perfect, flawless person.
It's about trusting that innervoice, even when it leads you
down a path that's maybe alittle unconventional.
And, yeah, sometimes that mightmean ruffling some feathers,
you know, challenging the waythings have always been done.
(09:52):
But as Emerson said, fornonconformity the world whips
you with its displeasure.
It's kind of the price you payfor being true to yourself.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
That's true.
It's definitely not always easyto be self-reliant.
It takes courage to stand upfor what you believe in,
especially when you're facingresistance.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Absolutely.
And it's not just about thesebig sweeping gestures or
changing the world, you know.
It's those everyday choices,big or small, where you decide
to honor your own truth, even ifit's something as simple as
saying no when you don't want todo something, or voicing your
opinion when everyone else seemsto agree.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
So it's more about those small acts of courage,
that kind of build up over time.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, exactly, and the more you use that muscle,
the stronger it gets.
You start trusting your ownjudgment more and you become
less influenced by all thoseexternal pressures and opinions.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
That makes a lot of sense.
It's like anything else, right.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
The more you practice , the better you get.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Totally.
Now, speaking of practice,let's circle back to those six
senses of self-affirmation for asecond.
We talked about self-worth andself-acceptance, those roots and
the trunk of our metaphoricaltree, and self-acceptance, those
roots in the trunk of ourmetaphorical tree.
But what about those branches,that sense of self-efficacy,
that belief in your ability toactually make things happen?
How do we cultivate that?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
That's a great question, because believing in
yourself is one thing, butactually feeling capable of
achieving your goals, that's awhole other ballgame.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
What did Emerson and Nakashima have to say about
boosting that self-efficacy?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Well, they both really emphasized the power of
taking action, of actually doingstuff that aligns with those
values and aspirations you have.
It's not enough to just thinkabout what you want to achieve.
You got to take concrete stepsto get there.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
So it's like the old saying, actions speak louder
than words.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Exactly, it's about taking those steps, even when
they seem small, maybe eveninsignificant at first, because
each action, each success, nomatter how small, builds your
confidence and reinforces thatbelief of hey, I can do this.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
You know that reminds me of something I read about
forming new habits.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
The advice was to start small, like ridiculously
small, so that you're almostguaranteed to succeed, like if
you want to start exercising.
Don't try to commit to an hourat the gym every day.
Right away, start with justfive minutes.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
That's a perfect example.
It's about setting yourself upfor success and building that
momentum gradually, and itapplies to building
self-reliance too.
Start with those small acts ofself-trust, and as you gain
confidence, you'll naturallyfeel more equipped to handle
bigger challenges.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I love that.
It makes self-reliance seem waymore approachable and
attainable.
But what about those othersenses?
You mentionedself-determination and
self-usefulness.
How do those fit into thepicture?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Right.
So self-determination is allabout making those choices that
align with your values, evenwhen it's tough, even when it's
unpopular.
It's about being the captain ofyour own ship, as they say, and
(12:51):
self-usefulness.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
That's about recognizing those unique gifts
and talents you have and usingthem to actually contribute
something positive to the world.
So it's not just about beingindependent and self-sufficient,
but also about using yourabilities to like make a
difference.
That has a whole otherdimension to self-reliance.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
It's about knowing that you have something valuable
to offer and then having thecourage to share it.
And it doesn't have to besomething huge or world-changing
.
You know, it could be simple asbeing a good friend, a
supportive family member or ahelpful coworker.
It's about using those talentsand strengths.
You have to make a positiveimpact, no matter how small.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I love that perspective.
It makes self-reliance feelless about ego and more about
contributing to something biggerthan yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
It's like.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
We're all part of this interconnected web, and our
individual acts ofself-reliance can actually
strengthen the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
That's a beautiful way to put it, and it goes back
to Emerson's belief in theinherent goodness of humanity
and the potential we all have.
He truly believed that when wetrust ourselves and act from a
place of authenticity, we're notonly benefiting ourselves, but
we're also contributing to thatcollective good.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
So in a way, self-reliance isn't just a
personal journey, it's also kindof social responsibility.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I think that's a really strong argument.
When we embrace our ownindividuality and express those
unique gifts, we inspire otherpeople to do the same.
It creates this ripple effectthat can transform communities
and even whole societies.
Think back to Martin LutherKing Jr His act of self-reliance
, of standing up for what hebelieved in.
It inspired a movement thatchanged history.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It's a powerful reminder that our actions, even
those seemingly small ones, canhave far-reaching consequences.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Absolutely.
And it all comes back to thatcentral question how do we
cultivate this self-reliance inour own lives?
How do we tap into that innerstrength and wisdom and use it
to create a life that's bothfulfilling and meaningful?
One way is to just look forthose opportunities to practice
self-trust, those little momentsthat pop up every day, those
moments where you can choose tohonor your truth even when it's
(14:44):
hard.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Okay, so like what?
Can you give me a concreteexample?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Sure, imagine you're in a meeting, at work, and
everybody seems to be on boardwith a certain plan, but deep
down you have a differentperspective, or maybe you see
some potential problems thatnobody else has noticed.
In that moment, do you speak upand share your thoughts, even
if it means going against thegrain, or do you just stay quiet
and go along with everyone else?
(15:08):
That's a chance to practiceself-reliance.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Right, it's about trusting your own judgment, even
when it feels a little risky oruncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Exactly, and even if your suggestion isn't ultimately
the one they go with, the veryact of speaking up, sharing your
view, it strengthens thatself-trust muscle, it reinforces
that idea that, hey, I can dothis, I can trust myself.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So it's not even about the outcome.
It's more about the process oflike staying true to yourself.
You got it.
It's more about the process oflike staying true to yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You got it.
It's those small acts ofcourage that build up over time
and ultimately lead to astronger, more authentic sense
of who you are.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yeah, that's a really good point.
You don't have to wait for somebig life changing moment to
start, you know, living moreself-reliantly.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
You can start right now, today, with something small
.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Absolutely.
We've talked about all theseamazing people like Martin
Luther King Jr and Steve Jobs,but this whole self-reliance
thing, it's not just for thosebig-time world changers or tech
geniuses.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It's for everybody.
It's those little everydaychoices that add up.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Like yeah, like speaking up in that meeting when
you see things differently, orsetting those boundaries with a
loved one, even when it's hard,exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Those, exactly those, are acts of self-reliance right
there, building up thatself-trust muscle, one step at a
time.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
And as you keep doing that, those things that used to
seem scary they start to feeleasier and you find yourself
taking on bigger challenges.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
It's not about reaching some final destination,
you know.
It's more like embracing thejourney of becoming more and
more yourself, trusting your ownintuition, having the courage
to create a life that reallyreflects who you are.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I love that Self-reliance really means and
I'm definitely feeling inspiredto put these ideas into action
in my own life.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Me too, and I hope everyone listening is feeling
that same spark.
Remember, self-reliance isn'tsome finish line you cross.
It's a way of living, a way ofbeing.
It's about cultivating thatinner strength, that connection
to your true self, and thenhaving the guts to actually live
from that place, day after day,choice after choice.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So well said.
To wrap up this deep dive, I'mgoing to leave you with one
final thought from Emersonhimself.
He said nothing can bring youpeace but yourself.
Nothing can bring you peace butthe triumph of principles.
So I encourage you to take sometime to really think about what
those principles are for you,what truly matters to you deep
down inside, and then have thecourage to actually live by them
(17:45):
.
That's where you'll find realpeace, real fulfillment.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
That's beautiful.
I think that's the perfect noteto end on.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Thanks so much for joining us on this deep dive
into Emersonian self-reliance.
We hope you found it insightfuland inspiring.
Until next time, keep trustingyourselves, keep exploring and
keep shining your own uniquelight on the world.
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