Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome
back.
Today we're going on a deepdive into the work of Teru
Nakashima.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Who is he?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Right.
So Teru Nakashima is thisJapanese self-help author and
counselor, okay, and he's gotsome like really interesting
perspectives on things likeintuition, self-acceptance, you
know, and just how our minds canshape our experience.
Really.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And we've got his
writings to go off of and a few
other notes.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Okay, sounds good,
yeah Cool.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
So one of the things
that I find really interesting
about him is he doesn't fit intothat typical self-help guru
mold.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, he definitely
brings something different to
the table.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, and I think
it's his nuance.
Like you know, he doesn't makeit black and white Right nuance.
Like you know, he doesn't makeit black and white right.
He's not afraid to like,challenge some of those you know
typical self-help tropes,exactly like.
One example is with intuitionright oh yeah you'd think that a
self-help guru would be allabout trust your gut.
Trust your gut, follow yourintuition, right.
But nakashima actually saysthat's not always the best idea
(01:01):
that's interesting yeah, he saysit's like a double-edged sword,
right.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I can see that.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It can lead to some
amazing opportunities, but I
mean it can also like scare youtotally wrong, Right.
And so how do we tell thedifference?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
How do we like know
when to act and when to you know
, maybe pause?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, I think it's a
lot about being aware of your
feelings and how those feelingsmight be influencing your
perceptions.
You know feelings and how thosefeelings might be influencing
your perceptions.
You know if you're feelingsuper stressed or angry.
You know, maybe that's not thebest time to make a huge life
decision solely based on yourgut feeling at that moment.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You know, it's about
taking a step back, assessing
the situation and just seeing ifyour emotions are maybe like
clouding your judgment a littlebit.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, that makes
total sense.
It's so easy to get caught upin the heat of the moment and
just like go with whatever yourgut is saying at that time,
Right.
And this actually ties intoanother one of Nakashima's ideas
which I thought was reallyinteresting.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Okay, let's hear it.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And that is his idea
of the true self.
Like he doesn't buy into thisidea that there's just one fixed
true self.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
So what's his take?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
He actually proposes
that we all have multiple
authentic selves.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Right, and that we
actually show up differently
depending on the situation thatwe're in.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like.
Think about how you act aroundyour closest friends versus like
at a work meeting.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Oh, totally different
.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, totally
different we're playing
different roles, but each roleis still genuinely a part of us.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Absolutely.
Psychologists actually have aname for this it's called
personas, I believe.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Right.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
And Nakashima
encourages us to kind of embrace
this adaptability.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
That's a really cool
idea because it takes the
pressure off it does.
Like we don't have to be thesame person all the time.
We can adapt to the situationthat people were with.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Okay.
Another thing that really stoodout to me was his approach to
you know how we deal with pastfailures.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
And he has this idea
of rewriting the failure script.
He calls it Okay.
Tell me more.
So, basically, what he says isthat, you know, dwelling on past
failures doesn't do us any good, right?
All it does is reinforce thisnegative self-image, right?
Okay, so what he suggests isthat we actually actively
visualize success in thosesituations.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So like we're
replacing that memory of messing
up with a vision of how wecould have done things
differently.
Yeah, yeah, exactly Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
And it's actually a
technique that's used a lot in
sports psychology, and the ideais that, you know, by
visualizing that positiveoutcome over and over again, we
can actually like shift ouremotional response to that past
event.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I see.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
So we're not denying
the failure, but we're changing
how it affects us.
That's pretty cool, yeah, it'slike giving yourself a second
chance, but in your mind, right,yeah, okay, it seems like a lot
of Nakashima's work is aboutchallenging those negative
self-beliefs that we tend tohold on to right.
Absolutely, yeah.
So this leads into another keyconcept of his, which is radical
(03:59):
self-acceptance.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Okay, I'm intrigued.
What does he mean by radicalself-acceptance?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
So for him it means
saying like okay to all parts of
ourselves, even the ones thatwe don't like.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Even the ones we
don't like.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And he makes this
distinction between like liking
something and acceptingsomething Right, like we don't
have to force ourselves to likeour negative traits, but we can
simply acknowledge them andaccept that they're there.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
So it's not about,
like you know, trying to like
get rid of those parts ofourselves that we don't like.
It's more about justrecognizing that they're there
and that they're a part of whowe are.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
It's about like
making peace with them.
Yeah, ok.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, I think that's
a really important distinction,
because I think a lot of ourself-criticism comes from, like
trying to deny or suppress thoseparts of ourselves that we
don't like.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
And that just creates
more inner conflict.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So it's about
bringing in self-compassion and
recognizing that you know we'reall a mix of, like you know,
light and shadow.
We've got good parts and we'vegot, you know, parts that we
might not be so proud of.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
It's about being a
whole person.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Now, one thing I'm
curious about is his take on,
you know, setting goals forsuccess, Like.
Does he have any specificadvice on how to go about that?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
He does.
He actually lays out aseven-step framework.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Oh cool.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, it's pretty
practical, really
well-structured.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Okay, I'm ready, lay
it on me.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Okay, so step one is
to clarify your purpose.
So really thinking about, like,what is it that you want to
achieve and why is thisimportant to you?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
so, starting with the
why, exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
And then step two is
to you know set some specific
goals that align with thatpurpose.
So this means like gettingreally detailed, including dates
, numbers.
You know really specificactions that you're gonna take
so making them really tangible.
Yes, exactly, then step threeis monitoring your progress.
So so this is about regularlychecking in with yourself, like,
(05:53):
where are you at in relation toyour goals?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
So what's next?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Step four is
analyzing the current situation.
So this is about like takingstock of what's working, what's
not working, what needs tochange.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Okay, so you're.
You're kind of figuring outwhere you are on the map,
exactly Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Then step five is
developing a plan based on that
analysis.
So this is where you break downthose goals into smaller, more
manageable steps.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Creating the roadmap
yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And then step six is
seeking support.
So you know, identifying yourstrengths and your weaknesses
and reaching out to people whocan help you in those areas
where you need it.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Because we don't have
to go it alone, right, right,
we can get help from others.
Exactly, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And then, finally,
step seven is reflection.
So this is, after you'veachieved a goal, taking some
time to actually review theprocess.
You know, what did you learn?
What would you do differentlynext time?
Speaker 1 (06:47):
So it's like a
continuous cycle of learning it
is and improving.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Exactly, and you know
it's interesting because this
framework actually mirrors a lotof the project management and
personal development strategiesthat are used in other fields.
It's really aboutself-awareness, planning,
building a support system, allof that.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I see.
So now, another point that Iwanted to touch on was
Nakashima's view on confidence.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Or maybe more
accurately, the lack of
confidence.
Right, okay, so he actuallysays that waiting to feel
confident before taking actionis a mistake.
Like a lot of people, waituntil they feel confident before
they do something.
But he's saying you know,that's not the way to go.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Interesting,
interesting, yeah.
So what does he suggest?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
He's basically saying
that confidence often comes
after we start taking action,not before.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I see.
So it's not about waiting forthe confidence to show up, it's
about just doing it anyway.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, and it can be
scary, you know, right, because
you're kind of taking a leap offaith.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
It's like that,
saying fake it till you, make it
.
Sometimes you just have to likejump in, yeah, exactly, and
just see what happens.
Exactly, confidence will come.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, and it makes me
think of the concept of
imposter syndrome, which, youknow, it's that feeling of not
being good enough who experienceimposter syndrome?
They, you know, they kind ofhold themselves back because
they're waiting to feelconfident enough.
Right, but what Nagashima issaying is that action is the
(08:16):
antidote to that.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
So by taking action
we actually start to see that we
are capable, and that buildsour confidence in a way that
just waiting and hoping nevercould.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, and it's kind
of like we have to prove it to
ourselves Exactly, we have totake that first step.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Sometimes that's the
only way to do it.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, just to start,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Even if it's messy.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
That's a powerful
message, I think, for anyone
who's struggling with self-doubt.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
It is.
It's about shifting our focusfrom waiting for the perfect
conditions to just taking thatfirst step Right.
From waiting for the perfectconditions to just taking that
first step, you know, even ifit's imperfect, you know.
It's interesting.
Nakashima points out that evenwhen we achieve something great,
it's rarely a solo effort.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, he makes a good
point about that Like even
individual achievements, youknow they're usually built on,
like this, foundation of supportfrom other people.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Right.
He reminds us to consider allthe people who contribute to our
success.
You know it could be family,friends, mentors, or even just
the people who created thesystems we depend on, like
without even realizing it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It's so true.
I think it's really easy to getcaught up in your own bubble,
your own efforts, and forgetabout all of those other
contributions.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
It really is, and he
encourages us to cultivate
gratitude for all those, likeunseen hands, that help us along
the way.
It's about recognizing thatwhole network of support that
helps us reach our goals.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
That reminds me of
what we were talking about
earlier.
You know his ideas aboutcollaboration and mentorship,
like how we can accomplish somuch more when we work together
and support each other.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Absolutely.
He's really emphasizing thatinterconnectedness, that web of
support, and encouraging us tocelebrate the contributions of
others.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's a good reminder
that we're not in this alone.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
We're not.
And you know what this idea ofinterconnectedness actually
leads nicely into another one ofNakashima's big themes, the
concept of inherent worth.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Oh yeah, he talks
about that a lot like how
everyone has value just by beingthemselves, regardless of their
achievements or externalvalidation.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Exactly, and he
actually draws on the philosophy
of Ralph Waldo Emerson, who hadthis beautiful idea that each
person has a unique and valuablecontribution to offer the world
.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I love that, and to
help us tap into that belief,
nakashima offers some reallypractical tips for cultivating a
sense of inherent worth.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
He does.
He suggests four key things,okay.
First, don't let the opinionsof others dictate your worth.
Second, express your ownopinions freely, you know, don't
be afraid to speak your mind.
Third, recognize your ownunique abilities and talents.
And finally, remember that youalready have the capacity to be
recognized and appreciated byothers.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
This is like own your
strengths, find your voice and
don't rely on outside sources totell you what you're worth.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Exactly, it's about
shifting that focus from
external approval to internalacceptance and self-belief.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
That shift sounds so
important, but it also sounds
incredibly challenging,especially in a world where
we're constantly bombarded withmessages that measure our worth
by external achievements andcomparisons.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
It definitely is a
challenge, but Nakashima reminds
us that true worth comes fromwithin.
It's about recognizing theinherent value of who you are,
not what you do or what othersthink about you.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It almost feels like
we have to reprogram our brains
to focus on our inherent worth,rather than seeking that
external validation we're soused to.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
That's a great way to
put it, and it's an ongoing
practice.
It's about making thatconscious choice to believe in
yourself, even when you'resurrounded by messages that
might contradict that belief.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's like building a
muscle, isn't it?
The more we practice believingin ourselves, the stronger that
belief becomes.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Love.
That analogy and this idea oftrusting in yourself leads
perfectly into another one ofNakashima's fascinating concepts
the idea that the universe hasyour back.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Okay, I've been
wondering about that one.
What does he mean by theuniverse has your back.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Well, he suggests
that when we commit to our goals
and take action, the universekind of conspires to support us.
He believes that opportunitieswill appear, resources will
become available, even seeminglyrandom encounters will happen,
all to help us along the way.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So it's like the
universe is secretly working
behind the scenes to help usachieve our dreams.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
That's the idea, and
to illustrate this concept, he
shares a personal story about aCEO who consistently visited him
during a period when Nakashimawas withdrawn from society for
about 10 years.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Right, and what's
remarkable is that the CEO's
visits, which might seem likesmall actions, had a huge impact
on Nakashima.
It speaks to this idea thatwhen we put ourselves out there
and pursue our goals, supportcan arrive in the most
unexpected ways.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
It's like there's
this invisible web of
connections and synchronicityand we can tap into it if we're
open to it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Precisely, and
Nakashima's idea about the
universe having our backactually aligns with some other
interesting concepts you mighthave heard of, like
synchronicity, the law ofattraction or the power of
intention.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I've always been
intrigued by those ideas.
They can seem a bit mystical,but there's something undeniably
compelling about the notionthat our energy and actions can
actually influence the worldaround us.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I agree.
It's about trusting that whenyou take that first step towards
your goal, the universe willmeet you halfway.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
It's such an
empowering thought.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
It is, and it brings
us to Nakashima's final point in
his writings the power ofaffirmations.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Oh yeah, he's a big
advocate for those right.
He specifically recommendsusing the phrase deki chata,
which I believe means I did it.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Exactly.
And what's interesting is hesuggests using it in the present
perfect tense.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Why the present
perfect tense?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Well, he explains
that using that tense reinforces
a sense of accomplishment, evenif you're still working towards
the goal.
It strengthens self-belief byaffirming that you've already
achieved what you set out to do.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So it's like a way to
reprogram your thinking, to
believe in your own success evenbefore you've fully reached the
finish line.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Exactly.
It's about reinforcing thatbelief you are capable of
achieving your goals.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
It seems like such a
powerful tool for shifting your
mindset.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It really is, and you
know what Using affirmations
actually aligns with the othertechniques we've been talking
about, like visualization andpositive self-talk.
It's all about using the powerof your mind to shape your
reality.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
So are there other
examples of affirmations that
people use or specific ways tointegrate them into daily life?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Absolutely.
You can find tons of resourcesonline and in books with
affirmations for all sorts ofgoals like building confidence,
cultivating self-love,attracting success anything you
can think of.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
So the key is to find
affirmations that really speak
to you personally, and then makea habit of repeating them
consistently.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Exactly, it's about
making it a regular practice,
almost like a mental workout.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Well, we've really
gone deep on this one.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
We have haven't we?
I mean, this has been a reallyfascinating deep dive into
Nakashima's work.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Like from intuition,
self-acceptance, you know, even
like the idea of the universe,you know kind of having our
backs.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yeah, it's pretty
mind-.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
It is yeah, and as
I've been kind of reflecting on
everything we've talked about,you know it's interesting
because I'm struck by howNakashima's approach, you know
it's not really about achieving,like this external definition
of success.
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
It's about something
more, you know.
It's about, like, cultivatingself-awareness, embracing all
parts of yourself.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
And recognizing your
connection to the world around
you.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, it feels so
much more holistic than the
typical self-help advice youhear.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Absolutely.
He's encouraging us to livemore intentionally, to be
authentic, to be genuine and totrust that we have this power
within us to create the lifethat we really want.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
So, as we wrap up
this Jeep, dive into Nakashima's
ideas, what stands out to youas like maybe the most powerful,
or maybe even the mostunexpected concept that you know
we could really apply to ourown lives.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You know, I think,
looking back over everything
we've talked about, the thingthat really resonates with me is
his emphasis on action.
You know, it's not just aboutthinking positive thoughts or or
embracing self-acceptance likein theory, right right it's
about like actually puttingthose ideas into practice, like
in the real world, you know yeah, yeah.
He's all about taking action,even if it's just a small step,
(16:28):
and trusting that things willunfold from there exactly, and I
think that's such an importantmessage, you know, for anyone
who's like feeling stuck or youknow unsure of where to start,
like you don't have to wait forthe perfect moment or the
perfect feeling to get started.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You can literally
start creating the life you want
right now, in this very momentit's about taking ownership and
making choices that align withour values and our goals, not
waiting for permission or orvalidation from you know outside
sources.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yes, exactly I love
that and you know outside
sources.
Yes, exactly, I love that.
And you know, nakashimaactually provides us with such a
practical framework for doingjust that, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
You know, as you were
talking about that, I was
thinking back to his idea aboutyou know the universe having our
backs.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
And.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I was thinking like
what if, sometimes, that support
, you know, what if it comes inthe form of challenges?
What if like the obstacles thatwe face?
What if it comes in the form ofchallenges?
What if like the obstacles thatwe face?
What if they're actuallyopportunities for growth and
learning, just kind of likedisguised in a different form?
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Oh, that is such a
brilliant question.
That's such a great point.
It's all about shifting ourperspective on challenges, isn't
it Like?
Instead of viewing setbacks asas failures, you know what if we
could actually see them as aschances to test our resilience,
you know, develop new skills andultimately become stronger
(17:47):
versions of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Honestly, that's
something I've always struggled
with.
You know, I tend to viewsetbacks as you know failures.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Like it's hard to
reframe that in my mind.
Yeah, how can we practicallylike shift our thinking, you
know, to see those obstacles asopportunities?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I think it takes
practice.
You know it's not easy, but Ithink a really good starting
point is to like, when youencounter a challenge, just
pause for a moment and and askyourself two questions Like,
first of all, what can I learnfrom this experience you know?
And second, how can thisexperience help me grow?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, those are
really good questions to reflect
on.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
And it does feel like
such a powerful shift in
perspective to view challengesthat way.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It is it really is.
And you know that shift inperspective.
I think it embodies the essenceof Nakashima's work.
You know it's about embracingthe journey with all its like
twists and turns, ups and downs,and trusting that we have the
inner strength to navigate anyobstacle that comes our way.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
I love that.
It's about trusting in yourselfand trusting in the process,
even when things get tough.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Well, as we wrap up
this deep dive, what is one
final thought or question you'dlike to leave our listeners with
?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, here's
something to think about.
You know, nakashima talks a lotabout how the universe supports
us.
You know, when we commit to ourgoals right but what if that
support often comes in formsthat we don't expect, like foams
that we might not immediatelyrecognize as being helpful?
What if those, thosechallenging moments you know the
ones that we like tend toresist or try to avoid you know
(19:20):
what if those are actually theuniverse's way of pushing us to
grow, to expand beyond ourcomfort zones?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
you know, that's a
really thought-provoking idea.
It's almost like flipping thescript on how we view challenges
and setbacks.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Exactly Like.
What if those obstacles areactually exactly what we need to
experience in order to to reachour full potential?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, that is a
really powerful shift in
perspective.
It's about trusting the journeyand recognizing that, like
every experience, even thedifficult ones can serve a
purpose in our growth.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Absolutely.
And with that we'll leave youto ponder that question and to
continue your own exploration ofself-affirmation and mindset.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
leave you to ponder
that question and to continue
your own exploration ofself-affirmation and mindset.
Thank you so much for joiningus for this deep dive into the
work of Taro Nakashima.
Remember his words Dekichata,you got this.
Embrace those challenges, trustyour intuition and keep taking
those powerful steps towards thelife that you envision.