May 20, 2025 • 46 mins
Have you ever felt like giving up when the daily grind seemed too overwhelming? When raising children, advancing your career, building a business, or navigating relationships pushed you to your breaking point? That's exactly where transformation happens.
In this deeply personal episode, I share my journey as a single mother of five who joined the military at age 30, survived a toxic marriage, built multiple businesses, and completed my college education at 53 after recovering from a stroke. These weren't just challenges—they were the soil in which the fruits of my labor grew.
Many of us struggle silently, wondering if our efforts will ever pay off. I've been there—waking before dawn for military PT while my children slept, facing younger superiors who didn't understand my life experience, launching businesses without adequate funding, and returning to school decades after dropping out. Through each struggle, I discovered that greatness emerges directly from pain.
The most valuable lesson I've learned is that nothing worthwhile comes easily. When we build our lives brick by brick through experience and perseverance, we create something far stronger than what could ever be handed to us. But there's a crucial balance—like a car that won't run without gas regardless of its mechanical condition, we must remember to refuel our spirits when life demands too much.
Your current struggles are the seeds you're planting for future harvests. Water them with faith, nurture them with persistence, but don't forget to care for yourself in the process. The fruits of your labor will come, and they'll be sweeter for the journey you took to grow them.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello everyone, hello , hello, welcome to a segment of
B3U.
I am your host, brie Charles,and I'm very happy to be here
with you guys today.
I just wanted to comment.
You know, let's talk a littlebit.
Let's talk about the fruits ofour labor.
What are some of the fruits ofyour labor?
(00:23):
What are some of the thingsthat we constantly labor on
daily?
Okay, some of us have children,marriages, careers, businesses,
education, some of us in schoolrelationships, and we all know
(00:45):
the struggles and the trials andtribulations that we go through
in getting some of these things.
For example, our children, ourchildren.
If you are a single parent or adual household with both
parents, it is a struggle.
Children, what do we say?
(01:06):
Children don't listen,especially if you're a single
parent or a dual household withboth parents.
It is a struggle.
Children, what do we say?
Children don't listen,especially if you're a single
parent and you're out there andyou're accomplishing things on
your own and you work in a joband children not listening.
They don't clean, they don't dowhat you tell them to do, right
, but you constantly areinstilling in them the right
things to do Clean your room,pull your pants up or you know
(01:29):
those things that kids just tendto think that we get on their
nerves with Right Career.
Maybe you're laboring in ourcareers.
When we labor in our careers,we're trying to get that
promotion our careers, when welabor in our careers, we're
trying to get that promotion.
I know in the military, you know, starting out, I was 30 when I
(01:50):
joined the military.
I had no idea what I waswalking into Just a young lady
from West Philadelphia joiningthe military.
I ain't never been out of thestate of Philadelphia, I'm out
of the state of Pennsylvania andI come into the military
getting up at five o'clockworking out, somebody yelling at
me constantly.
(02:11):
But I knew that this was thecareer that I chose and the
purpose that I chose it for.
And I started off as an Enothing, e1.
Nothing.
He won Okay, and I knew thatthat career that I chose I
(02:31):
wanted to make it to the highestlevel of leadership that I
could be.
And then some of us business,right Business, starting out,
new business.
And maybe you're starting a newbusiness, okay, and you're just
starting it out.
I know now that I am nowmanaging and the founder of Free
Business and they're, you know,starting out right.
(02:53):
And then we have marriage, okay, new marriages, old marriages,
it doesn't matter, right?
The struggle and the care andthe concern and the work that it
takes for a marriagerelationship, okay, new
relationship, old relationshipthat you want to take further,
(03:17):
to go, that lead up to marriage,right?
So what are some of thosestruggles?
Like I said, you know where,let's look at children.
I want to take children rolequick because children are the
closest, uh, to my heart.
I love the children, I lovechildren and I love the seniors.
(03:38):
Uh, my heart is really big forthose two.
And in raising my children as asingle parent I'm going to speak
from a single parent because Ireally didn't have the luxury to
grow up with a two-parenthousehold when I was growing up
and I raised my children,unfortunately, in a single
(03:59):
family household.
But I know that when I was inthe military, it was a struggle
raising five children, four thatlived with me.
It was a struggle raising fourchildren.
I would clean your room, I hadto get up, oh dark, 30 in the
morning, okay.
So I had to have my childrenand I had one son and my three
(04:21):
daughters that lived with me,okay, and they were in the age
ranges of 12, all the way tofour.
So, starting off it was like my,my youngest daughter.
She wasn't in school yet, so Ihad to get up early, five
o'clock and my children werestill mainly sleeping at night
(04:42):
or sleeping early in the morning.
They didn't get up for schooluntil like six.
But they knew the day beforelike hey, get to get up, get
ready for school, take yoursister to the, the babysitter or
whoever was going to babysither, or you know.
Until I um found daycare ortook, no matter of fact, until
she went to school, I had tohave the other children, you
(05:05):
know, take care of themselves,clean the house.
Well, of course you know youcome back home after, you know
PT.
Well, pt for us was like overat about 7 o'clock I want to say
so the kids are already inschool and, of course you know
you come back.
Nothing was done.
(05:26):
So now, in a time you're tryingto relax your children and do
what you're told, I know whengrowing up it's like just do
what I asked y'all to do.
I only asked y'all to get goodgrades.
Clean the house, you know, dothe things that a child's
supposed to do.
It just was like they were sointo playing with their friends
going going to school.
They were living the life of achild.
(05:47):
They didn't know what it waslike for me as a single mom to
get up every morning, strugglingto go out here to make this
break, people yelling at me.
They didn't know what I wasdoing, but they just know that
they were living good, they inthis nice house.
And you know they had every,and my children had anything
(06:09):
that they possibly thought couldthink about to ask for.
I gave them most of what Icould provide for them at the
time, so life was good for them.
They didn't have any idea whatit took for me to make their
dreams and their wishes come toplay.
(06:29):
So it's like what I'm saying isyou know, we look at our
children, but I always would.
When I did have the time off, Iwould sit and I would talk to
my children like, hey, and Iwould talk to my children like
hey, I really need y'all to dowhat it is I asked you to do.
Please go to school.
(06:54):
Go to school, get thiseducation and we teach our
children that so they don't gothrough the struggles that we do
as parents.
We may have experiencedsomething that we don't want our
children to experience.
So this is what, you know, Iwas instilling in my children at
the time is because I don'twant y'all to have to grow up
and you know you drop out ofschool early, you get your GED
(07:15):
and then you decide to, you know, join the military at a later
age.
You know I want to prevent youguys from doing this.
So this is why you know we maybe instilling in our children
the proper things to do so theydon't have a repeat of what the
life that you live, you know,and at the time you know it was.
(07:39):
It was not easy at all becauseof course you know I will say
for the most part my childrendid go to school.
Some had the best grades, somehad the best grades that they
could get, you know, but all ofmy children finished school,
which I am very proud of,because that was just like there
(08:00):
was just no goals in myhousehold and the no goal was
like you will not drop out.
I was very passionate aboutthat because I dropped out of
school in 11th grade and I wentback and got my GED at a later
age and I was like this will nothappen to my children.
I am going to make sure.
If I have to walk them my dadoneself, you know, if I have to
(08:23):
drag them because you know theydidn't want to get up and do it,
things was just as a kid was sohard for kids, right?
This thing, little thing thatyou ask children is so hard.
But you have to keep.
You have to keep instilling andkeep pouring into them and
(08:44):
don't give them the option offailure.
Don't give them the option offailure.
Don't give them the option offailure, right?
So that's with the children.
What is the career?
The career for me, like I saidbefore, I wanted to.
I came in as an E1.
I'm 30 years old.
The people that are around meare 10 years younger and I'm
(09:09):
like what in the world?
I just joined a big old daycare.
You know I'm coming in and it'slike, you know, I would see
some of the leadership that wasbefore me.
I had leaders that were youngerthan me.
I'll never forget it was justshe was horrible.
God bless me.
(09:30):
You know she was my squadleader and here I am, you know,
in my 30s.
She may have been in her 20sand I used to get so annoyed
just because, like what in theworld.
Who are these people thatthey're putting in charge of me?
Like you know, the appearanceof how she carried herself as a
(09:52):
leader, how she dealt with me asa soldier, was like I ain't
listening to that, I'm notfollowing that.
So you know.
And then I had a person that wasjust like, had no sense of
leadership skills herself.
She didn't know where, as ayoung person, where I was coming
(10:14):
from, you know, she didn't knowthe struggles that I had, so
she just looked at me as asoldier that needs to go back on
the block, so to speak.
And you know they wanted to putme out, but they never took the
time, the time to learn whotheir soldier was, you know.
(10:34):
Then, as for the young soldier,you know people get that.
You know how it is in theworkplace.
You get that person that getthat promotion and, oh my God,
they are God's best given glorybecause look at me, I got the
rank you do what I say, but hadno sort of leadership skills,
(10:54):
right.
So we all know and have thosepeople in the workplace.
But I know that for me, and thefruits of my labor with my
career, was I wanted to become anoncommissioned officer so I
can lead people better than whatI was being led.
(11:16):
So I, diligently, I made somemistakes and bumps along the way
.
Mistakes and bumps along theway.
Okay, I was, you know,introduced again to this
lifestyle that I, you know.
I was pretty much sheltered.
I didn't know that it was somany other people in this world
outside of Philadelphia.
(11:37):
Okay, so, when I got in, but Iknew that I chose that career to
better myself and my children'sway of life.
So I went through thosestruggles of my career.
I went through those strugglesof raising my children that
didn't understand, strugglesthat I was going through and I
(12:00):
was always instilling in themhow to be a better man, how to
be better women.
So you don't have to repeat thethings that I went through.
So then now as for business.
My struggles, well, I will justsay, is being a entrepreneur
(12:24):
who is now.
I'm a lover and a care, acaregiver.
I'm a servant, a servant to God, I'll put it that way.
My first business is anonprofit where I shelter
homeless families, domesticviolence victims and I service
the low income family, the lowincome family.
(12:48):
That's my first business.
I started that business had noidea what I was doing.
I just know that there werebreadcrumbs that were being
dropped.
That said, this is the path andthe direction that I should go,
because I've lost so manypeople in my life so I want to
be a servant.
So I took that, started thathave still look, still in the
(13:08):
struggle of my business.
Why?
Because grants, grants are.
There may be many out there.
I will say that people alwayssay, well, there's many grants,
a lot of grants out there.
You just got to fill out forthem.
I did that.
Grants and everybody know ittakes money to make money.
Well, what if you don't havethat money?
What if you don't have thatmoney, those finances, to build
(13:33):
your business?
And that's with my other twobusinesses, my business here.
You know, be For you.
I'm a motivational,inspirational speaker.
You know I my goal is to is toinspire and empower people to be
them their better self.
Well, it takes money to try toget out there.
(13:55):
Right, it takes money to getout there.
Continue to write your content.
And you know you have all kindsof scares and feelings and
doubts.
And what if you know you haveall kinds of scares and feelings
and doubts?
And what if you know only 50people viewed it when you see
that you only have 50 peopleview it, but you want to touch
the heart of 50,000 or 50million and it's like you start
(14:25):
feeling like it's a struggle tojust get out there, right.
Then I have the grocery storeAgain, another service need to
the community, and the idea iswe have a mobile bus to service
the community that has a fooddesert.
Well, now it's the struggle.
Of course.
You need what money?
(14:46):
Okay, you need money to get thebus.
You need money to design thebus and put in the refrigeration
.
You need money to.
You need money, money, money,money, money, money.
I don't care if it's anon-profit for profit.
The big thing is you need money, right, but I still grind to
(15:13):
make my businesses connect andservice the need and service the
goal that I'm trying to get to.
So now some of us have marriages, some of us are involved in
marriages and relationships thatwe want to work.
(15:38):
My first marriage, fivechildren later, it was a failed
marriage and I would think tomyself.
I would always say to myself Itried, I stayed as long as I did
not because I feared myex-husband, who was very abusive
.
But number one I wanted themarriage to work.
(15:59):
And number two was, at the timeI really didn't have anywhere
to go.
I didn't have any family.
I know that I tried and I triedand I tried, but after a while
it was just like God, I need away out.
Give me a way out, because thisis not working.
Although I wanted it to work,so bad I was putting more in
(16:25):
than I was getting out.
Then I was getting out.
So I also then did not want mychildren to experience the
one-parent household that I hadto experience.
But okay, the fruit of my labor, of trying to keep that
(16:46):
marriage together, just was.
It wasn't the seed that Ishould have been playing, okay.
So now I am happily, overjoyed,remarried, and now the fruit
that of my labor with thismarriage is we are both pouring
(17:07):
it.
We are both pouring into themarriage to what we, what we are
both pouring it, we are bothpouring into the marriage to
what we are sowing is veryprosperous and growing very well
.
Because I can see that as longas we are both sowing and
putting into it, it's good,right, and that's the same thing
(17:28):
with anyone who is Right, andthat's the same thing with
anyone who is involved in amarriage or any relationship.
(17:52):
You know there are some, there'syoung women out here that you
know I applaud for being astrong woman and not just
accepting anything that a man iswho is not mature enough or
ready.
I really don't like to downplayor downgrade young men, because
maybe I look at it as going ata stance, for maybe they just
weren't taught the right way.
So I don't want to downgradethem.
So I don't want to downgradethem.
I just, you know, what I try todo is think about.
(18:12):
You know, maybe you don't knowwhere they came from, how they
grew up.
You know, we as women, again,we wear many hats.
So some young ladies areteaching their men how to be a
better man.
But what I would say with thatis I applaud some of the young
women out here who just don'ttake anything that's given to
(18:36):
them.
Some people will look at theseyoung women like, oh, she's, you
know, she's too many, too manymen in and out her life.
Or oh, she got a lot ofboyfriends.
Oh, she, she got five babyfathers and five kids and five
baby daddies.
Oh, my goodness, you know.
They look down and they frownup behind that and I look at it
(19:00):
this way, because I have insideme firsthand, you know, and
that's that.
That was the other thing that Iwanted too in my marriage.
I didn't want to have kids by adifferent man.
So, you know, I wanted all mykids to have the same father.
That's another reason why Istayed in my toxic marriage.
At the same time, too, I wantedall my kids to have the same
(19:23):
father.
But now, you know, I havedaughters who grew up or grown
up, and I have inside view towhere my one of well, both of my
daughters have five childrenand my one daughter um, cause, I
have two that's married, and Ihave one daughter who is not
married and I looked at hersituation, you know, and my
(19:44):
children have experienced thingsfrom the things that I go
through and they say, mom,that's just not going to be me.
I don't, you know, want to livethat way.
So my daughter, you know peoplemay look at her and say she got
five kids and she got five babydaddies or whatever.
She's been married.
Once she was in an abusiverelationship and she had the
(20:05):
sense and also the sense and thesupport to say nah, and also
the sense and the support to saynah, no, that's not what I want
to do.
You know, and I always tellpeople again to I especially,
you know, I talk to my childrenlike, hey, don't you ever feel
down or don't you ever feel bad,because you have five children
(20:26):
and you know five differentfathers.
Number one you were young, okay.
Number two children are ablessing, okay.
And the thing about that is shedid not settle.
She did not settle.
You know, sometimes, and youknow when you're in that dating
game and she, I'm telling you,she dated the church goer, she
(20:48):
dated the older man.
She's dated.
You know, she's dated quite afew things where you know she's
thought well, if they're older,they're more mature.
No, oh, he's in, he's totallyinto god, this should be good.
No, okay.
So you know she's been throughher stuff but she had the sense
(21:11):
enough to not stay in it becausemistakes were made.
You know, sometimes things uh,look shiny until you get into
y'all know what I'm saying.
You get to the relationship andyou find out like it's a dead.
So I applaud her for not staying, knowing her worth and her
value and then just getting tothe point where she's like you
(21:34):
know what, okay, oh, but firstyou know, um, she did things the
right way where her secondchild.
What did she do?
They were both uh, he was inthe military, and you know what.
They got married okay.
So she said, well, I'll themilitary, and you know what they
got married Okay.
So she said, well, I'll getmarried.
And you know this should begood.
(21:54):
We're going to do things rightin the eyesight of God.
We're going to make it happen,no, you know.
So she was like, okay, well,I'm not going to get married
because you know we have a child.
You know I'm not going to dothat anymore.
So again, there are other womenout there that I can applaud
that take those stances.
But someone on the outsidelooking in it's like, oh, they
(22:17):
got, she got, they got too manykids.
And she this, that?
No, I don't.
I don't ever down someone forthe decisions they have made.
As long as you're notcontinuously making the same
mistake, it's like, okay, whenare you going to wake up?
And you know, kind of realizethat that's not for you and you
(22:38):
know I pray for people to getout of that.
Okay.
So those relationships, thosefailed relationships, okay.
So the failed relationships,the behavior, your promotion,
not having enough money for yourbusinesses, not enough
(22:58):
experience for your businesses.
These are all struggles, butthis is something that I want to
say to you here today, with allthe things that I have said and
all the points that I've saidto you today about children,
(23:19):
marriages, relationships,businesses, career.
Okay, education, okay, I didn'ttalk about education, but let
me talk about education realquick.
As I already explained to you, Idropped out of school in about
the 11th grade, didn't finishschool, I was pregnant and I,
(23:44):
you know head was in the clouds,thought I found Mr Right in the
clouds, thought I found MrRight, right, and, as you, um,
as I've shared before with you,my first child was a child born
through an unwanted sexual uhencounter.
So when I met my husband, myex-husband, uh, I was pregnant.
(24:07):
Uh, again, again, he said thathe would father and I didn't
have to share anything withanybody.
He would be the father of thatchild.
So I hid my great child andthen I had another child just to
make him happy.
So I dropped out of school andI had child after child and I
think I went back to school atthe age of 28, I believe.
(24:34):
I think I dropped out of school.
I think I was about 17, 17,when I dropped out of school and
I was like, ok, at 28, you know, I knew within me that there
was something more.
I knew within me that there wassomething more.
I wanted more.
So here I am, 28.
(24:54):
I get my GED.
That was a hard thing.
I've been out of school now forwhat?
Almost 10 years.
So I decided to go back and getmy GED.
So I'm going to fast forward younow to where I joined the
military and throughout mymilitary career I still was, you
(25:19):
know, taking some collegecourses.
It was kind of hard for mebecause I was so more focused on
my career than my education.
I just, you know, I got 20years to, you know, do this
education, so I got time.
You know.
And just you know, I got 20years to, you know, do this
education, so I got time, youknow.
Then, you know, then, of course, I run into some more things
and realized I didn't reallyhave the time.
(25:39):
So now here we are, in my midforties, I will say, and I, you
know, I'm now, I'm retired,medically retired from the
military, and I'm like, okay, Igot to get this thing, this,
this, this school thing donehere, so I might have been, yeah
(26:02):
, mid 40s and I was due tograduate in 2020, right before I
hit 50.
Right in 2020, right before Ihit 50, right, and I struggled.
I struggled because now I amalso a stroke survivor, so I
have some deficits from that towhere.
It's not that I'm, you know,incapable of learning, it just
(26:23):
takes me a little bit more timeto learn.
So I had accessibility learningand I went to St Leo College,
st Leo University, and I'mtelling you it's like, oh my God
, the things that I would say,like I'm too old for this, this
is too much, my brain don't work.
The struggle, but I, again, Ijust knew that I couldn't give
(26:47):
up.
What happens?
Right, everybody knows whathappened in 2020.
Covid, covid hit and all I haveto do is an internship.
Well, they didn't have anybackup plan for COVID and there
were people that were just outthere well, how do we finish
(27:10):
this?
It came to the point where theywanted me after they figured
out that COVID wasn't gettingnowhere, you know.
But we, we got to come up witha backup plan.
Their backup plan was to haveme take two more classes.
(27:36):
I graduated myself the firsttime.
I graduated myself in my garagebecause I was like, oh no, I
earned this degree and COVID isnot going to stop me.
There was no graduations, therewas nothing at that point in
time going on.
So I graduated myself in my, inmy driveway, and my husband got
me the cake and everything, andI had a couple of good friends,
neighbors come over and theyapplauded and I stood at the
podium.
I mean I did the whole nineyards, you know, and it was
(28:00):
because I was like I'm not goingto let this COVID defeat me of
getting my degree.
So, you know, I graduatedmyself.
So now here comes a moment intime where I want to do
something, but I need my degreein order to finish, and so I can
(28:23):
, you know, do this other goalthat I wanted to do.
So now I needed to finish mydegree.
Y'all talking about somebody whowas like over school, because
now, at this time, I'm down 53.
I'm 53 now and I'm like what?
(28:43):
And I think I think this woman,this woman, she's a good friend
of mine and she encouraged me.
She was like don't you give up,you know you go back.
And in my head I was like I cangive up.
You know, I already graduated,but I didn't have the paper.
But so what?
I ain't got the paper.
I know what I did.
(29:04):
Well, story short, this, thiswoman.
She stuck by me.
She encouraged me go ahead back, girl, get that degree, take
some more classes because Ineeded a certain GPA.
Go back, take these courses, dothis.
And I took her advice, I tookher motivation and I went and I
(29:27):
actually took two more classes,matter of fact, I think in total
I took about four more classesto raise my GPA.
Get my degree.
I graduated from St LeoUniversity October.
Fruits of my labor, right so now?
(29:57):
Children, marriage, career,business relationships,
education, all the fruits of mylabor.
I want to tell y'all thatgreatness is pain.
Greatness is pain because allthe things that you are pouring
into your life daily, yourchildren okay, children are
(30:18):
hard-headed, children ain'tlistening, children don't run us
, we run them, we run them intomaking them.
If you give up on a child and ifyou give up and just say you
know what, I'm not doing itbecause this is too much, then
you will see the fruits of yourlabor that you gave up on.
What are they going to do?
(30:38):
They're going to give up too.
Well, she gave up, or he gaveup or they gave up, so I'm going
to give up, and then you'recreating that generational will
of failure.
So that's why I say the fruitsof your labor.
When you're pouring into yourchildren and they're being hard,
(31:00):
because kids are going to bekids, they're not going to
change.
Kids are going to be kidsbecause they don't understand
the value of everything that momor dad or mom and dad are
creating for them to besuccessful.
Keep your foot on a net Right,because they're going to come
back and say mom, dad, thank youfor the things that you have
(31:21):
done.
I'm grateful for you beingstrict, for you being hard, for
you being encouraging, for youto keep motivating, for you to
keep doing what you're doing,because look at who I am today,
your children, well, thank you.
That is the greatness.
That is the greatness of yourfruits and your labor and your
(31:45):
tears and your pains and yourbrokenness.
Okay, that is the fruit of yourlabor with your career.
Everything that I had to endurein my career because I was
older, I still retired medicallyas a staff sergeant.
With all my dignity and all myhonors and all my
(32:09):
accomplishments, my goals and mymedals, I still retired
successfully.
That greatness was painful.
It was a painful thing to gothrough to get where I am today,
(32:30):
for the fruits of my labor.
My businesses are still.
That's my greatness.
Okay, it's painful, but what Iknow now is that if I just keep
going, if I just be patient,it's going to come.
(32:50):
I don't care how manysubscribers I have today.
My thing is, what will I havein a year from now, three years
from now, five years from now,ten years from now?
What will I have then?
I'm going to look back then andsay I did that.
(33:13):
I've helped millions of peopleand I truly, truly believe that.
I truly believe that mynonprofit is already two years
and I have already helped maybe200, if not more.
(33:34):
But I know that if I continue tokeep on that path, that is very
, very painful.
I'll reach more, so I'm notworried about it.
Very, very painful.
I'll reach more, so I'm notworried about it.
I'll be able to feed maybe justthese people here in
Lawrenceville, virginia, withthis mobile grocery store.
(33:56):
But who knows, and years fromnow it may not just be one, it
could be many all over the globe, who knows?
But I'm going to keep steadfastthrough all the trials, the
struggles, the tribulations andjust starting, because I don't
(34:18):
have all the ends.
But I know that if I keep goingthrough, I'm going to learn as I
go.
I'm going to learn as I go andI'm going to endure the pain.
I'm going to endure thestruggles, just as I did with my
kids.
All my kids are doing well.
They're great, they'resuccessful, they're raising
great and successful men andwomen.
Okay, I endure the pain to know, to get out of the wrong, toxic
(34:45):
marriage, the relationship thatI've endured.
After that.
I'm grateful that I wentthrough those so I can know what
right looks like.
Ok, are you seeing here whatI'm doing?
And I see and I know that if Ikeep going through the pains and
(35:08):
the struggle of this business,it will be free education.
I went through all thosestruggles and trials and
tribulations, didn't want to goback, but I did.
I kept moving the needleforward and I have sewn into
this beautiful thing of life andI'm walking in my person,
(35:33):
educated.
Okay, so what I will say isthrough all these experiences,
greatness is painful.
You don't want anything thatcomes easy.
Anything that comes easy is nota lesson.
(35:53):
It was given to you.
So what have you learned?
You learned nothing, so youdon't want any, you want the
hard right, so that way you cansay you know what.
I started this from the groundup.
I had children.
Parenting does not come with amanual.
Nobody that has children.
(36:14):
Somebody came in and said hey,this, this is the way you know.
We may have had support fromsomebody else who been through
it to say this is how you changea diaper, this is what you use
a diaper, this is what you usefor a rash, this is what you,
you know.
But have they been there everystep of the way to tell you
everything you need to do to bea parent?
No, you have not, becauseparenting doesn't come.
(36:36):
You have to learn along the way.
Nobody knows what they're goinginto.
When they're going into theircareer, you have to learn, or
you go to school to learn, butwhen, even when you go to
college to learn a thing, youstill don't learn that that
career, until you get hands onHands on knowledge, is what
(37:02):
creates your greatness, becauseyou can be book smart.
All you you want know all thethings, and I'm sure that when
doctors go to school, they learnthe thing.
A surgeon, they learn that, butthey really don't get the the
understanding and the greatnessof it, until they have hands-on
of doing that, heart surgery,hands-on experience, learning,
(37:26):
maybe on live things or things,whatever.
Hands on is the experience.
So you don't want anything tocome to you, you want the
knowledge of building yourself,your children, your career,
brick by brick by brick by brick.
(37:47):
Your marriage, brick by brickby brick, that new relationship,
brick by brick by brick.
Okay, and one thing don't stop,okay.
(38:14):
Don't stop what you're, whatyou.
You have to continue to pour into yourselves.
And I want to say that we alwaysget overwhelmed.
We get overwhelmed with thethings that we're doing.
When, when a car is out of gas,right, a car is out of gas, has
, right, a car is out of gas,has no gas in it.
You can change the battery, youcan change the alternator, you
can do all those things.
You can change the spark plugs,you could change that and turn
(38:38):
that key on and that tank is in.
Is that car going to goanywhere?
That car is not going to goanywhere because it's out of gas
.
And that's what I want to sayabout our lives.
Okay, in our lives, okay, wecan recharge our brain, we can
get all the knowledge that weneed to do.
(38:59):
We can have our heart, you know, the heart motivated, ready to
do it.
You know, continue on going,keep pushing, keep going.
Okay, that's it.
That's with anything parenting,careers you know we got the
mind for it, we have the heartfor it.
But what happens?
(39:20):
If we don't sit back, refuel,rejuvenate ourselves?
We won't go anywhere.
We're out of gas.
We are out of gas.
We have to sit and take thetime through all the hard work
that we do okay, raisingchildren, marriage, careers,
(39:46):
business.
If I keep going at all thethings, my children are all
grown and in my blended familywe have nine children in total.
Do you know what it's like tohave nine children, 17
grandchildren?
Okay, nine children, 17 grands,and out of the nine children,
(40:07):
only four of them have children.
So that means the other fiveare still young and don't have
any children yet.
So the family is still growing,have any children yet?
(40:28):
So the family is still grown.
Every day, I'm a mother, a wife,a grandmother, a sister, a
friend.
I am constantly, constantly.
My brain is working on how tohelp the next person, on how to
do the next thing and how tomake more money and how to make
(40:48):
this person's life a little bitmore easier, and how I'm going
to feed my, what I'm going tofeed my husband and how I can
keep my marriage going and how Ican keep my marriage healthy,
and how can I give my sisterthis advice and how can I?
How, what, what?
But if I keep going that way,I'm going to burn out my heart.
My heart and my mind is aligned, but my spirit is empty.
(41:10):
I'm going to burn, run out ofgas and I will be no good to
anyone.
What I will say is this whatdoes the Bible say?
Okay, the Bible tells us thattroubles don't last always, and
(41:33):
it says that we will reap whatwe sow.
But we have to learn when weget overwhelmed and we're filled
up with so much that we have totake that time to sit back and
refill our tank.
I have a Dodge Charger with ahandle.
(41:58):
It holds 17 gallons of gas.
17 gallons of gas.
If I keep riding that chargeras fast as I can and as long as
I can, eventually it's going torun out of gas.
I could change everything in it, but still I feel that tank,
that car, is not going to moveanywhere.
That's the thing that I thinkabout my body.
(42:21):
I'm hard charging, I go hard.
And there's others charging Igo hard.
And there's others out therethat go hard and charge just
like I do.
That's wearing many hats mybrother, my sister, I would say.
Number one our blocks.
Okay, our mistakes.
(42:43):
I'm sorry, our mistakes Ourbuilding blocks.
We want to learn from ourmistakes.
I'm sorry, our mistakes arebuilding blocks.
We want to learn from ourmistakes.
We also want to know that thefruits of our labor will become
greatness from all the pain thatwe endure.
I've endured a lot of pain,endured a lot of pain, but I can
(43:05):
look at the greatness of thefruits of my labor and say I did
it.
It wasn't hard raising thosechildren by myself, but I did
that.
It was hard to let thatmarriage go, but I did that.
Look at me now.
Now I know what not to do, whatto do.
It was hard in my career,getting as far as I did from
(43:28):
where I started.
It was hard to look at mybreakthrough.
I'm now retired, I'm successful.
Okay, it was hard getting aneducation, but I did it.
I want you to look at the thingsthat you are sowing and you're
seeding right now.
What we got to learn to do isplant the seed, water the seed.
(43:52):
And we water the seed byknowing that God is so ever
faithful.
He's so, ever faithful and hiswords are true.
And if we do all of that, weallow God to allow us to keep
(44:12):
growing and allow God to allowus, allow God in our lives to
allow us to grow.
He's the savior, the provider,he's the everything that we need
in our life.
And know that God says troubledon't last always, but joy
(44:35):
cometh in the morning.
So, if you are going throughhardship of children, career
relationships, doing evaluation,look at the fruit or the seed
that you're sowing.
Is it good?
(44:56):
Okay, look at all the thingsthat you do throughout your day
in your life.
Is it a time where you feellike you just can't go?
No more, you just can't go?
That's because your tank isempty.
(45:16):
You need to sit back, take thetime out to evaluate what seeds
am I sowing.
Is my fruit good?
Will my fruit be good?
Because you don't want to growand have something be rotten and
there's no use to you or anyoneelse.
So that's the time that youneed to take.
(45:39):
Know that God is alwaysfaithful.
God is always faithful.
Fill and fuel yourself so youcan be good to others and know
that greatness is pain.
Nothing you don't want,anything that comes easy.
(46:01):
I thank you all for joining meon today and just allowing me to
share that with you.
Continue to please.
Continue to like, share andsubscribe to my channel.
I wish all of you nothing butthe best in your success and I
will see you all around.
Hello everyone, hello , hello, welcome to a segment of
B3U.
I am your host, brie Charles,and I'm very happy to be here
with you guys today.
I just wanted to comment.
You know, let's talk a littlebit.
Let's talk about the fruits ofour labor.
What are some of the fruits ofyour labor?
(00:23):
What are some of the thingsthat we constantly labor on
daily?
Okay, some of us have children,marriages, careers, businesses,
education, some of us in schoolrelationships, and we all know
(00:45):
the struggles and the trials andtribulations that we go through
in getting some of these things.
For example, our children, ourchildren.
If you are a single parent or adual household with both
parents, it is a struggle.
Children, what do we say?
(01:06):
Children don't listen,especially if you're a single
parent or a dual household withboth parents.
It is a struggle.
Children, what do we say?
Children don't listen,especially if you're a single
parent and you're out there andyou're accomplishing things on
your own and you work in a joband children not listening.
They don't clean, they don't dowhat you tell them to do, right
, but you constantly areinstilling in them the right
things to do Clean your room,pull your pants up or you know
(01:29):
those things that kids just tendto think that we get on their
nerves with Right Career.
Maybe you're laboring in ourcareers.
When we labor in our careers,we're trying to get that
promotion our careers, when welabor in our careers, we're
trying to get that promotion.
I know in the military, you know, starting out, I was 30 when I
(01:50):
joined the military.
I had no idea what I waswalking into Just a young lady
from West Philadelphia joiningthe military.
I ain't never been out of thestate of Philadelphia, I'm out
of the state of Pennsylvania andI come into the military
getting up at five o'clockworking out, somebody yelling at
me constantly.
(02:11):
But I knew that this was thecareer that I chose and the
purpose that I chose it for.
And I started off as an Enothing, e1.
Nothing.
He won Okay, and I knew thatthat career that I chose I
(02:31):
wanted to make it to the highestlevel of leadership that I
could be.
And then some of us business,right Business, starting out,
new business.
And maybe you're starting a newbusiness, okay, and you're just
starting it out.
I know now that I am nowmanaging and the founder of Free
Business and they're, you know,starting out right.
(02:53):
And then we have marriage, okay, new marriages, old marriages,
it doesn't matter, right?
The struggle and the care andthe concern and the work that it
takes for a marriagerelationship, okay, new
relationship, old relationshipthat you want to take further,
(03:17):
to go, that lead up to marriage,right?
So what are some of thosestruggles?
Like I said, you know where,let's look at children.
I want to take children rolequick because children are the
closest, uh, to my heart.
I love the children, I lovechildren and I love the seniors.
(03:38):
Uh, my heart is really big forthose two.
And in raising my children as asingle parent I'm going to speak
from a single parent because Ireally didn't have the luxury to
grow up with a two-parenthousehold when I was growing up
and I raised my children,unfortunately, in a single
(03:59):
family household.
But I know that when I was inthe military, it was a struggle
raising five children, four thatlived with me.
It was a struggle raising fourchildren.
I would clean your room, I hadto get up, oh dark, 30 in the
morning, okay.
So I had to have my childrenand I had one son and my three
(04:21):
daughters that lived with me,okay, and they were in the age
ranges of 12, all the way tofour.
So, starting off it was like my,my youngest daughter.
She wasn't in school yet, so Ihad to get up early, five
o'clock and my children werestill mainly sleeping at night
(04:42):
or sleeping early in the morning.
They didn't get up for schooluntil like six.
But they knew the day beforelike hey, get to get up, get
ready for school, take yoursister to the, the babysitter or
whoever was going to babysither, or you know.
Until I um found daycare ortook, no matter of fact, until
she went to school, I had tohave the other children, you
(05:05):
know, take care of themselves,clean the house.
Well, of course you know youcome back home after, you know
PT.
Well, pt for us was like overat about 7 o'clock I want to say
so the kids are already inschool and, of course you know
you come back.
Nothing was done.
(05:26):
So now, in a time you're tryingto relax your children and do
what you're told, I know whengrowing up it's like just do
what I asked y'all to do.
I only asked y'all to get goodgrades.
Clean the house, you know, dothe things that a child's
supposed to do.
It just was like they were sointo playing with their friends
going going to school.
They were living the life of achild.
(05:47):
They didn't know what it waslike for me as a single mom to
get up every morning, strugglingto go out here to make this
break, people yelling at me.
They didn't know what I wasdoing, but they just know that
they were living good, they inthis nice house.
And you know they had every,and my children had anything
(06:09):
that they possibly thought couldthink about to ask for.
I gave them most of what Icould provide for them at the
time, so life was good for them.
They didn't have any idea whatit took for me to make their
dreams and their wishes come toplay.
(06:29):
So it's like what I'm saying isyou know, we look at our
children, but I always would.
When I did have the time off, Iwould sit and I would talk to
my children like, hey, and Iwould talk to my children like
hey, I really need y'all to dowhat it is I asked you to do.
Please go to school.
(06:54):
Go to school, get thiseducation and we teach our
children that so they don't gothrough the struggles that we do
as parents.
We may have experiencedsomething that we don't want our
children to experience.
So this is what, you know, Iwas instilling in my children at
the time is because I don'twant y'all to have to grow up
and you know you drop out ofschool early, you get your GED
(07:15):
and then you decide to, you know, join the military at a later
age.
You know I want to prevent youguys from doing this.
So this is why you know we maybe instilling in our children
the proper things to do so theydon't have a repeat of what the
life that you live, you know,and at the time you know it was.
(07:39):
It was not easy at all becauseof course you know I will say
for the most part my childrendid go to school.
Some had the best grades, somehad the best grades that they
could get, you know, but all ofmy children finished school,
which I am very proud of,because that was just like there
(08:00):
was just no goals in myhousehold and the no goal was
like you will not drop out.
I was very passionate aboutthat because I dropped out of
school in 11th grade and I wentback and got my GED at a later
age and I was like this will nothappen to my children.
I am going to make sure.
If I have to walk them my dadoneself, you know, if I have to
(08:23):
drag them because you know theydidn't want to get up and do it,
things was just as a kid was sohard for kids, right?
This thing, little thing thatyou ask children is so hard.
But you have to keep.
You have to keep instilling andkeep pouring into them and
(08:44):
don't give them the option offailure.
Don't give them the option offailure.
Don't give them the option offailure, right?
So that's with the children.
What is the career?
The career for me, like I saidbefore, I wanted to.
I came in as an E1.
I'm 30 years old.
The people that are around meare 10 years younger and I'm
(09:09):
like what in the world?
I just joined a big old daycare.
You know I'm coming in and it'slike, you know, I would see
some of the leadership that wasbefore me.
I had leaders that were youngerthan me.
I'll never forget it was justshe was horrible.
God bless me.
(09:30):
You know she was my squadleader and here I am, you know,
in my 30s.
She may have been in her 20sand I used to get so annoyed
just because, like what in theworld.
Who are these people thatthey're putting in charge of me?
Like you know, the appearanceof how she carried herself as a
(09:52):
leader, how she dealt with me asa soldier, was like I ain't
listening to that, I'm notfollowing that.
So you know.
And then I had a person that wasjust like, had no sense of
leadership skills herself.
She didn't know where, as ayoung person, where I was coming
(10:14):
from, you know, she didn't knowthe struggles that I had, so
she just looked at me as asoldier that needs to go back on
the block, so to speak.
And you know they wanted to putme out, but they never took the
time, the time to learn whotheir soldier was, you know.
(10:34):
Then, as for the young soldier,you know people get that.
You know how it is in theworkplace.
You get that person that getthat promotion and, oh my God,
they are God's best given glorybecause look at me, I got the
rank you do what I say, but hadno sort of leadership skills,
(10:54):
right.
So we all know and have thosepeople in the workplace.
But I know that for me, and thefruits of my labor with my
career, was I wanted to become anoncommissioned officer so I
can lead people better than whatI was being led.
(11:16):
So I, diligently, I made somemistakes and bumps along the way
.
Mistakes and bumps along theway.
Okay, I was, you know,introduced again to this
lifestyle that I, you know.
I was pretty much sheltered.
I didn't know that it was somany other people in this world
outside of Philadelphia.
(11:37):
Okay, so, when I got in, but Iknew that I chose that career to
better myself and my children'sway of life.
So I went through thosestruggles of my career.
I went through those strugglesof raising my children that
didn't understand, strugglesthat I was going through and I
(12:00):
was always instilling in themhow to be a better man, how to
be better women.
So you don't have to repeat thethings that I went through.
So then now as for business.
My struggles, well, I will justsay, is being a entrepreneur
(12:24):
who is now.
I'm a lover and a care, acaregiver.
I'm a servant, a servant to God, I'll put it that way.
My first business is anonprofit where I shelter
homeless families, domesticviolence victims and I service
the low income family, the lowincome family.
(12:48):
That's my first business.
I started that business had noidea what I was doing.
I just know that there werebreadcrumbs that were being
dropped.
That said, this is the path andthe direction that I should go,
because I've lost so manypeople in my life so I want to
be a servant.
So I took that, started thathave still look, still in the
(13:08):
struggle of my business.
Why?
Because grants, grants are.
There may be many out there.
I will say that people alwayssay, well, there's many grants,
a lot of grants out there.
You just got to fill out forthem.
I did that.
Grants and everybody know ittakes money to make money.
Well, what if you don't havethat money?
What if you don't have thatmoney, those finances, to build
(13:33):
your business?
And that's with my other twobusinesses, my business here.
You know, be For you.
I'm a motivational,inspirational speaker.
You know I my goal is to is toinspire and empower people to be
them their better self.
Well, it takes money to try toget out there.
(13:55):
Right, it takes money to getout there.
Continue to write your content.
And you know you have all kindsof scares and feelings and
doubts.
And what if you know you haveall kinds of scares and feelings
and doubts?
And what if you know only 50people viewed it when you see
that you only have 50 peopleview it, but you want to touch
the heart of 50,000 or 50million and it's like you start
(14:25):
feeling like it's a struggle tojust get out there, right.
Then I have the grocery storeAgain, another service need to
the community, and the idea iswe have a mobile bus to service
the community that has a fooddesert.
Well, now it's the struggle.
Of course.
You need what money?
(14:46):
Okay, you need money to get thebus.
You need money to design thebus and put in the refrigeration
.
You need money to.
You need money, money, money,money, money, money.
I don't care if it's anon-profit for profit.
The big thing is you need money, right, but I still grind to
(15:13):
make my businesses connect andservice the need and service the
goal that I'm trying to get to.
So now some of us have marriages, some of us are involved in
marriages and relationships thatwe want to work.
(15:38):
My first marriage, fivechildren later, it was a failed
marriage and I would think tomyself.
I would always say to myself Itried, I stayed as long as I did
not because I feared myex-husband, who was very abusive
.
But number one I wanted themarriage to work.
(15:59):
And number two was, at the timeI really didn't have anywhere
to go.
I didn't have any family.
I know that I tried and I triedand I tried, but after a while
it was just like God, I need away out.
Give me a way out, because thisis not working.
Although I wanted it to work,so bad I was putting more in
(16:25):
than I was getting out.
Then I was getting out.
So I also then did not want mychildren to experience the
one-parent household that I hadto experience.
But okay, the fruit of my labor, of trying to keep that
(16:46):
marriage together, just was.
It wasn't the seed that Ishould have been playing, okay.
So now I am happily, overjoyed,remarried, and now the fruit
that of my labor with thismarriage is we are both pouring
(17:07):
it.
We are both pouring into themarriage to what we, what we are
both pouring it, we are bothpouring into the marriage to
what we are sowing is veryprosperous and growing very well
.
Because I can see that as longas we are both sowing and
putting into it, it's good,right, and that's the same thing
(17:28):
with anyone who is Right, andthat's the same thing with
anyone who is involved in amarriage or any relationship.
(17:52):
You know there are some, there'syoung women out here that you
know I applaud for being astrong woman and not just
accepting anything that a man iswho is not mature enough or
ready.
I really don't like to downplayor downgrade young men, because
maybe I look at it as going ata stance, for maybe they just
weren't taught the right way.
So I don't want to downgradethem.
So I don't want to downgradethem.
I just, you know, what I try todo is think about.
(18:12):
You know, maybe you don't knowwhere they came from, how they
grew up.
You know, we as women, again,we wear many hats.
So some young ladies areteaching their men how to be a
better man.
But what I would say with thatis I applaud some of the young
women out here who just don'ttake anything that's given to
(18:36):
them.
Some people will look at theseyoung women like, oh, she's, you
know, she's too many, too manymen in and out her life.
Or oh, she got a lot ofboyfriends.
Oh, she, she got five babyfathers and five kids and five
baby daddies.
Oh, my goodness, you know.
They look down and they frownup behind that and I look at it
(19:00):
this way, because I have insideme firsthand, you know, and
that's that.
That was the other thing that Iwanted too in my marriage.
I didn't want to have kids by adifferent man.
So, you know, I wanted all mykids to have the same father.
That's another reason why Istayed in my toxic marriage.
At the same time, too, I wantedall my kids to have the same
(19:23):
father.
But now, you know, I havedaughters who grew up or grown
up, and I have inside view towhere my one of well, both of my
daughters have five childrenand my one daughter um, cause, I
have two that's married, and Ihave one daughter who is not
married and I looked at hersituation, you know, and my
(19:44):
children have experienced thingsfrom the things that I go
through and they say, mom,that's just not going to be me.
I don't, you know, want to livethat way.
So my daughter, you know peoplemay look at her and say she got
five kids and she got five babydaddies or whatever.
She's been married.
Once she was in an abusiverelationship and she had the
(20:05):
sense and also the sense and thesupport to say nah, and also
the sense and the support to saynah, no, that's not what I want
to do.
You know, and I always tellpeople again to I especially,
you know, I talk to my childrenlike, hey, don't you ever feel
down or don't you ever feel bad,because you have five children
(20:26):
and you know five differentfathers.
Number one you were young, okay.
Number two children are ablessing, okay.
And the thing about that is shedid not settle.
She did not settle.
You know, sometimes, and youknow when you're in that dating
game and she, I'm telling you,she dated the church goer, she
(20:48):
dated the older man.
She's dated.
You know, she's dated quite afew things where you know she's
thought well, if they're older,they're more mature.
No, oh, he's in, he's totallyinto god, this should be good.
No, okay.
So you know she's been throughher stuff but she had the sense
(21:11):
enough to not stay in it becausemistakes were made.
You know, sometimes things uh,look shiny until you get into
y'all know what I'm saying.
You get to the relationship andyou find out like it's a dead.
So I applaud her for not staying, knowing her worth and her
value and then just getting tothe point where she's like you
(21:34):
know what, okay, oh, but firstyou know, um, she did things the
right way where her secondchild.
What did she do?
They were both uh, he was inthe military, and you know what.
They got married okay.
So she said, well, I'll themilitary, and you know what they
got married Okay.
So she said, well, I'll getmarried.
And you know this should begood.
(21:54):
We're going to do things rightin the eyesight of God.
We're going to make it happen,no, you know.
So she was like, okay, well,I'm not going to get married
because you know we have a child.
You know I'm not going to dothat anymore.
So again, there are other womenout there that I can applaud
that take those stances.
But someone on the outsidelooking in it's like, oh, they
(22:17):
got, she got, they got too manykids.
And she this, that?
No, I don't.
I don't ever down someone forthe decisions they have made.
As long as you're notcontinuously making the same
mistake, it's like, okay, whenare you going to wake up?
And you know, kind of realizethat that's not for you and you
(22:38):
know I pray for people to getout of that.
Okay.
So those relationships, thosefailed relationships, okay.
So the failed relationships,the behavior, your promotion,
not having enough money for yourbusinesses, not enough
(22:58):
experience for your businesses.
These are all struggles, butthis is something that I want to
say to you here today, with allthe things that I have said and
all the points that I've saidto you today about children,
(23:19):
marriages, relationships,businesses, career.
Okay, education, okay, I didn'ttalk about education, but let
me talk about education realquick.
As I already explained to you, Idropped out of school in about
the 11th grade, didn't finishschool, I was pregnant and I,
(23:44):
you know head was in the clouds,thought I found Mr Right in the
clouds, thought I found MrRight, right, and, as you, um,
as I've shared before with you,my first child was a child born
through an unwanted sexual uhencounter.
So when I met my husband, myex-husband, uh, I was pregnant.
(24:07):
Uh, again, again, he said thathe would father and I didn't
have to share anything withanybody.
He would be the father of thatchild.
So I hid my great child andthen I had another child just to
make him happy.
So I dropped out of school andI had child after child and I
think I went back to school atthe age of 28, I believe.
(24:34):
I think I dropped out of school.
I think I was about 17, 17,when I dropped out of school and
I was like, ok, at 28, you know, I knew within me that there
was something more.
I knew within me that there wassomething more.
I wanted more.
So here I am, 28.
(24:54):
I get my GED.
That was a hard thing.
I've been out of school now forwhat?
Almost 10 years.
So I decided to go back and getmy GED.
So I'm going to fast forward younow to where I joined the
military and throughout mymilitary career I still was, you
(25:19):
know, taking some collegecourses.
It was kind of hard for mebecause I was so more focused on
my career than my education.
I just, you know, I got 20years to, you know, do this
education, so I got time.
You know.
And just you know, I got 20years to, you know, do this
education, so I got time, youknow.
Then, you know, then, of course, I run into some more things
and realized I didn't reallyhave the time.
(25:39):
So now here we are, in my midforties, I will say, and I, you
know, I'm now, I'm retired,medically retired from the
military, and I'm like, okay, Igot to get this thing, this,
this, this school thing donehere, so I might have been, yeah
(26:02):
, mid 40s and I was due tograduate in 2020, right before I
hit 50.
Right in 2020, right before Ihit 50, right, and I struggled.
I struggled because now I amalso a stroke survivor, so I
have some deficits from that towhere.
It's not that I'm, you know,incapable of learning, it just
(26:23):
takes me a little bit more timeto learn.
So I had accessibility learningand I went to St Leo College,
st Leo University, and I'mtelling you it's like, oh my God
, the things that I would say,like I'm too old for this, this
is too much, my brain don't work.
The struggle, but I, again, Ijust knew that I couldn't give
(26:47):
up.
What happens?
Right, everybody knows whathappened in 2020.
Covid, covid hit and all I haveto do is an internship.
Well, they didn't have anybackup plan for COVID and there
were people that were just outthere well, how do we finish
(27:10):
this?
It came to the point where theywanted me after they figured
out that COVID wasn't gettingnowhere, you know.
But we, we got to come up witha backup plan.
Their backup plan was to haveme take two more classes.
(27:36):
I graduated myself the firsttime.
I graduated myself in my garagebecause I was like, oh no, I
earned this degree and COVID isnot going to stop me.
There was no graduations, therewas nothing at that point in
time going on.
So I graduated myself in my, inmy driveway, and my husband got
me the cake and everything, andI had a couple of good friends,
neighbors come over and theyapplauded and I stood at the
podium.
I mean I did the whole nineyards, you know, and it was
(28:00):
because I was like I'm not goingto let this COVID defeat me of
getting my degree.
So, you know, I graduatedmyself.
So now here comes a moment intime where I want to do
something, but I need my degreein order to finish, and so I can
(28:23):
, you know, do this other goalthat I wanted to do.
So now I needed to finish mydegree.
Y'all talking about somebody whowas like over school, because
now, at this time, I'm down 53.
I'm 53 now and I'm like what?
(28:43):
And I think I think this woman,this woman, she's a good friend
of mine and she encouraged me.
She was like don't you give up,you know you go back.
And in my head I was like I cangive up.
You know, I already graduated,but I didn't have the paper.
But so what?
I ain't got the paper.
I know what I did.
(29:04):
Well, story short, this, thiswoman.
She stuck by me.
She encouraged me go ahead back, girl, get that degree, take
some more classes because Ineeded a certain GPA.
Go back, take these courses, dothis.
And I took her advice, I tookher motivation and I went and I
(29:27):
actually took two more classes,matter of fact, I think in total
I took about four more classesto raise my GPA.
Get my degree.
I graduated from St LeoUniversity October.
Fruits of my labor, right so now?
(29:57):
Children, marriage, career,business relationships,
education, all the fruits of mylabor.
I want to tell y'all thatgreatness is pain.
Greatness is pain because allthe things that you are pouring
into your life daily, yourchildren okay, children are
(30:18):
hard-headed, children ain'tlistening, children don't run us
, we run them, we run them intomaking them.
If you give up on a child and ifyou give up and just say you
know what, I'm not doing itbecause this is too much, then
you will see the fruits of yourlabor that you gave up on.
What are they going to do?
(30:38):
They're going to give up too.
Well, she gave up, or he gaveup or they gave up, so I'm going
to give up, and then you'recreating that generational will
of failure.
So that's why I say the fruitsof your labor.
When you're pouring into yourchildren and they're being hard,
(31:00):
because kids are going to bekids, they're not going to
change.
Kids are going to be kidsbecause they don't understand
the value of everything that momor dad or mom and dad are
creating for them to besuccessful.
Keep your foot on a net Right,because they're going to come
back and say mom, dad, thank youfor the things that you have
(31:21):
done.
I'm grateful for you beingstrict, for you being hard, for
you being encouraging, for youto keep motivating, for you to
keep doing what you're doing,because look at who I am today,
your children, well, thank you.
That is the greatness.
That is the greatness of yourfruits and your labor and your
(31:45):
tears and your pains and yourbrokenness.
Okay, that is the fruit of yourlabor with your career.
Everything that I had to endurein my career because I was
older, I still retired medicallyas a staff sergeant.
With all my dignity and all myhonors and all my
(32:09):
accomplishments, my goals and mymedals, I still retired
successfully.
That greatness was painful.
It was a painful thing to gothrough to get where I am today,
(32:30):
for the fruits of my labor.
My businesses are still.
That's my greatness.
Okay, it's painful, but what Iknow now is that if I just keep
going, if I just be patient,it's going to come.
(32:50):
I don't care how manysubscribers I have today.
My thing is, what will I havein a year from now, three years
from now, five years from now,ten years from now?
What will I have then?
I'm going to look back then andsay I did that.
(33:13):
I've helped millions of peopleand I truly, truly believe that.
I truly believe that mynonprofit is already two years
and I have already helped maybe200, if not more.
(33:34):
But I know that if I continue tokeep on that path, that is very
, very painful.
I'll reach more, so I'm notworried about it.
Very, very painful.
I'll reach more, so I'm notworried about it.
I'll be able to feed maybe justthese people here in
Lawrenceville, virginia, withthis mobile grocery store.
(33:56):
But who knows, and years fromnow it may not just be one, it
could be many all over the globe, who knows?
But I'm going to keep steadfastthrough all the trials, the
struggles, the tribulations andjust starting, because I don't
(34:18):
have all the ends.
But I know that if I keep goingthrough, I'm going to learn as I
go.
I'm going to learn as I go andI'm going to endure the pain.
I'm going to endure thestruggles, just as I did with my
kids.
All my kids are doing well.
They're great, they'resuccessful, they're raising
great and successful men andwomen.
Okay, I endure the pain to know, to get out of the wrong, toxic
(34:45):
marriage, the relationship thatI've endured.
After that.
I'm grateful that I wentthrough those so I can know what
right looks like.
Ok, are you seeing here whatI'm doing?
And I see and I know that if Ikeep going through the pains and
(35:08):
the struggle of this business,it will be free education.
I went through all thosestruggles and trials and
tribulations, didn't want to goback, but I did.
I kept moving the needleforward and I have sewn into
this beautiful thing of life andI'm walking in my person,
(35:33):
educated.
Okay, so what I will say isthrough all these experiences,
greatness is painful.
You don't want anything thatcomes easy.
Anything that comes easy is nota lesson.
(35:53):
It was given to you.
So what have you learned?
You learned nothing, so youdon't want any, you want the
hard right, so that way you cansay you know what.
I started this from the groundup.
I had children.
Parenting does not come with amanual.
Nobody that has children.
(36:14):
Somebody came in and said hey,this, this is the way you know.
We may have had support fromsomebody else who been through
it to say this is how you changea diaper, this is what you use
a diaper, this is what you usefor a rash, this is what you,
you know.
But have they been there everystep of the way to tell you
everything you need to do to bea parent?
No, you have not, becauseparenting doesn't come.
(36:36):
You have to learn along the way.
Nobody knows what they're goinginto.
When they're going into theircareer, you have to learn, or
you go to school to learn, butwhen, even when you go to
college to learn a thing, youstill don't learn that that
career, until you get hands onHands on knowledge, is what
(37:02):
creates your greatness, becauseyou can be book smart.
All you you want know all thethings, and I'm sure that when
doctors go to school, they learnthe thing.
A surgeon, they learn that, butthey really don't get the the
understanding and the greatnessof it, until they have hands-on
of doing that, heart surgery,hands-on experience, learning,
(37:26):
maybe on live things or things,whatever.
Hands on is the experience.
So you don't want anything tocome to you, you want the
knowledge of building yourself,your children, your career,
brick by brick by brick by brick.
(37:47):
Your marriage, brick by brickby brick, that new relationship,
brick by brick by brick.
Okay, and one thing don't stop,okay.
(38:14):
Don't stop what you're, whatyou.
You have to continue to pour into yourselves.
And I want to say that we alwaysget overwhelmed.
We get overwhelmed with thethings that we're doing.
When, when a car is out of gas,right, a car is out of gas, has
, right, a car is out of gas,has no gas in it.
You can change the battery, youcan change the alternator, you
can do all those things.
You can change the spark plugs,you could change that and turn
(38:38):
that key on and that tank is in.
Is that car going to goanywhere?
That car is not going to goanywhere because it's out of gas
.
And that's what I want to sayabout our lives.
Okay, in our lives, okay, wecan recharge our brain, we can
get all the knowledge that weneed to do.
(38:59):
We can have our heart, you know, the heart motivated, ready to
do it.
You know, continue on going,keep pushing, keep going.
Okay, that's it.
That's with anything parenting,careers you know we got the
mind for it, we have the heartfor it.
But what happens?
(39:20):
If we don't sit back, refuel,rejuvenate ourselves?
We won't go anywhere.
We're out of gas.
We are out of gas.
We have to sit and take thetime through all the hard work
that we do okay, raisingchildren, marriage, careers,
(39:46):
business.
If I keep going at all thethings, my children are all
grown and in my blended familywe have nine children in total.
Do you know what it's like tohave nine children, 17
grandchildren?
Okay, nine children, 17 grands,and out of the nine children,
(40:07):
only four of them have children.
So that means the other fiveare still young and don't have
any children yet.
So the family is still growing,have any children yet?
(40:28):
So the family is still grown.
Every day, I'm a mother, a wife,a grandmother, a sister, a
friend.
I am constantly, constantly.
My brain is working on how tohelp the next person, on how to
do the next thing and how tomake more money and how to make
(40:48):
this person's life a little bitmore easier, and how I'm going
to feed my, what I'm going tofeed my husband and how I can
keep my marriage going and how Ican keep my marriage healthy,
and how can I give my sisterthis advice and how can I?
How, what, what?
But if I keep going that way,I'm going to burn out my heart.
My heart and my mind is aligned, but my spirit is empty.
(41:10):
I'm going to burn, run out ofgas and I will be no good to
anyone.
What I will say is this whatdoes the Bible say?
Okay, the Bible tells us thattroubles don't last always, and
(41:33):
it says that we will reap whatwe sow.
But we have to learn when weget overwhelmed and we're filled
up with so much that we have totake that time to sit back and
refill our tank.
I have a Dodge Charger with ahandle.
(41:58):
It holds 17 gallons of gas.
17 gallons of gas.
If I keep riding that chargeras fast as I can and as long as
I can, eventually it's going torun out of gas.
I could change everything in it, but still I feel that tank,
that car, is not going to moveanywhere.
That's the thing that I thinkabout my body.
(42:21):
I'm hard charging, I go hard.
And there's others charging Igo hard.
And there's others out therethat go hard and charge just
like I do.
That's wearing many hats mybrother, my sister, I would say.
Number one our blocks.
Okay, our mistakes.
(42:43):
I'm sorry, our mistakes Ourbuilding blocks.
We want to learn from ourmistakes.
I'm sorry, our mistakes arebuilding blocks.
We want to learn from ourmistakes.
We also want to know that thefruits of our labor will become
greatness from all the pain thatwe endure.
I've endured a lot of pain,endured a lot of pain, but I can
(43:05):
look at the greatness of thefruits of my labor and say I did
it.
It wasn't hard raising thosechildren by myself, but I did
that.
It was hard to let thatmarriage go, but I did that.
Look at me now.
Now I know what not to do, whatto do.
It was hard in my career,getting as far as I did from
(43:28):
where I started.
It was hard to look at mybreakthrough.
I'm now retired, I'm successful.
Okay, it was hard getting aneducation, but I did it.
I want you to look at the thingsthat you are sowing and you're
seeding right now.
What we got to learn to do isplant the seed, water the seed.
(43:52):
And we water the seed byknowing that God is so ever
faithful.
He's so, ever faithful and hiswords are true.
And if we do all of that, weallow God to allow us to keep
(44:12):
growing and allow God to allowus, allow God in our lives to
allow us to grow.
He's the savior, the provider,he's the everything that we need
in our life.
And know that God says troubledon't last always, but joy
(44:35):
cometh in the morning.
So, if you are going throughhardship of children, career
relationships, doing evaluation,look at the fruit or the seed
that you're sowing.
Is it good?
(44:56):
Okay, look at all the thingsthat you do throughout your day
in your life.
Is it a time where you feellike you just can't go?
No more, you just can't go?
That's because your tank isempty.
(45:16):
You need to sit back, take thetime out to evaluate what seeds
am I sowing.
Is my fruit good?
Will my fruit be good?
Because you don't want to growand have something be rotten and
there's no use to you or anyoneelse.
So that's the time that youneed to take.
(45:39):
Know that God is alwaysfaithful.
God is always faithful.
Fill and fuel yourself so youcan be good to others and know
that greatness is pain.
Nothing you don't want,anything that comes easy.
(46:01):
I thank you all for joining meon today and just allowing me to
share that with you.
Continue to please.
Continue to like, share andsubscribe to my channel.
I wish all of you nothing butthe best in your success and I
will see you all around.
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