August 21, 2025 • 16 mins
Sometimes the Army says go on a 2-hour ride and the other passenger happens to be a genteel bro. I may also be a bro from time to time. When bros collide, you either end up with bonding or high blood pressure. In this episode, I rant my way through the strange world of military bro culture - I'll let you know how it goes
The Way Forward is hosted by Better Moody — new episodes every week exploring mood, mental health, self-awareness, and navigating life with heart.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
OK, so imagine this. You're at home, got your feet
propped up, you're drinking on your Bloody Mary.
Oh my God, it's just right. You know, if you splash some
jalapeno juice in it, that is the ticket.
But let me tell you what would make it better.
(00:23):
What would make it better? I'm thinking you invite all your
friends over. Hear me out, I'm a middle-aged
woman and I'm thinking drunk chores.
You don't actually have to get the job done.
You invite the people over. The pinnacle of the event is to
(00:47):
make sure you get good and slushed chores.
That's the goal, that's the aim.Do we accomplish it?
But I'm just thinking you will feel accomplished.
And I think that's that's a worthy goal.
My goodness, my goodness. OK, let me fill you in on what
(01:08):
just happened here because I am dreading the next week.
I'm going to have to be traveling all over the planet.
And I just, I don't want to. So I'm pretending I'm not
packing. I'm not doing anything
productive. I'm pretending as if tomorrow's
going to be a day at the beach for some odd reason, and that
(01:30):
feels right. But there's been a series of
unfortunate events that have been taking me out of my
blissful Zen. And let me just introduce you to
stage 1. First of all, I wanted to drink.
Was there any vodka? No, there was not.
(01:54):
Why you may ask? Well, maybe I should not
divulge. There should be.
That's all I'm going to say about that.
So I made a quick call to my daughter and I said honey,
honey, sweet beautiful baby girl, Why is my vodka not where
it ought to be? And problem solved.
(02:18):
So here I am a little bit on thetipsy side.
Situation #2 hmm, dogs were dirty so I gave them a bath.
It's quite a fun thing. If you don't have dogs, please
do spray them with the water hose.
(02:38):
It's a treat. OK situation #3 The couch will
not push up against the wall. Why you might ask?
I've been wondering that for maybe the past month but did not
have the mental fortitude to investigate further.
But today, Today I rised up likethe Phoenix with new energy and
(03:08):
I pushed the couch back. Look behind there and lo and
behold, there is a PlayStation remote control.
And that's why when you go to push the sucker back, it teeters
back and forth like a seesaw. And I've been asking, I've been
asking where is the remote? But anyway, no worries people, I
(03:33):
rescued that mofo sure did. No cracks, no fissures, no
injuries, no casualties. So yeah, I do want to point out
that I did purchase a PlayStation previously and my
(03:54):
daughter's friends. Yeah.
OK, so that's my friend reachingout.
I'm going to get to that here ina minute.
Yeah, my daughter's friends did not steal it.
You can't see my air quotes here.
They did not steal it. That was in Alabama, so yeah,
they had to climb two flights ofstairs.
(04:19):
They didn't rob anyone else on the lower floors of the
apartments. Just my apartment.
I rent apartments and stay in one.
I have one that I go back to. It's kind of nice.
But no longer because now I cannot trust my daughter's quote
UN quote friends who help themselves not to the amenities,
(04:42):
but they just take the amenities.
So it's the equivalent of when Iwent to, I mean, I get it.
I went to Cancun, I took the floor mat, I took the towels, I
took whatever. This is karma.
I think all good though. But a PlayStation that's
sacrilegious. All right, So I don't know if
you hear the Dings, but the GoodSamaritan that I am now, I'm
(05:08):
just playing. I wanted to feel useful.
My girl is having a baby here onTuesday.
And I said tell me what you need, I got you.
She needed potato salad, not anypotato salad.
She needed my potato salad, Homemade potato salad.
So, yeah, I went to her house, gathered her old potatoes, used
(05:33):
the rest of my ingredients, and we made that thing happen.
I am very confident she will be impressed.
Jury's out, though. She said she'd send her son to
come get it. So that's her texting me.
She's like, I'm coming, like youbetter come because there's a
lot of potato salad. And let me tell you what I did
(05:54):
This potato salad, they put eggsin it, put cut up Pickles, like
dill Pickles, not relish. It's good stuff.
But cut up onions. What else?
I don't know. Honestly, I just kind of play it
by ear. I did grind up some pepcorns,
sprinkle that over it. That might be too much.
I hope she's OK. Hope baby makes it through the
(06:17):
potato salad. But yeah, that was.
She was like, I feel so bad. I'm like, do not feel bad.
I feel great being able to assist you, my sister.
So my blood relations, I've never been close enough to
support them as they've made their people and brought them
(06:38):
into the world. So it's like we're paying it
forward. We somehow it works itself out
in the universe. So it's all good.
Yeah. So I do have.
What do I want to talk about? OK, let's talk about what's
happening. So what's happening is tomorrow
I got to get my fat happy up andgo to work.
(07:01):
Oh my gosh, I got to get up at 6:00 AM, which is not out of the
ordinary. It's just I'm ditching my family
and I'm heading to Rhode Island and I'm going to sit there and
I'm going to look at some Army people and I'm going to play
that part. I'm going to play the senior NCO
(07:21):
role and I'm going to do my knowing nods and I'm going to
partake of whatever corporate propaganda I'm supposed to drink
the kool-aid, and I'm going to do all that good stuff.
And then I'm going to come back.Hopefully I make it back on a
(07:42):
Wednesday and I head on out to go and see the family.
I'm so excited about the family.I hadn't been back to Alabama in
a while. People might have forgotten me.
Not really. I reach out every now and again.
I'm going to see a very handsomeKobe Bryant looking dude.
(08:02):
We're going to have some coffee.It's going to be great.
Yeah. Let me tell you about this whole
ride. So it was a struggle.
I don't know why shouldn't be a struggle, but there is a
cultural issue in the military. Now, granted, I am not in my
(08:23):
best form right now. If I could spawn into the proper
fit, maybe I ought to do it. But right now I am, you know,
plus 50, probably 50 lbs more than I would really like to be.
(08:44):
And that's OK because some of that's muscle.
So forgiveness, it's more than saying sorry, you know, and I've
said this before, but I'm going to say it again.
Riding shotgun with another malewhen it's just you and that
(09:07):
other military male, it seems toalways draw some discomfort.
And that's where I'm at. I'm going to two.
It's going to be like a 2 hour potentially uncomfortable ride
down to Rhode Island. I don't have a problem with it
because I am in my own platonic world.
(09:28):
You know, I'm like Bambi and Snow White and I'm so rated G in
my head. I mean, I curse from time to
time. Hear me out.
It's you know, what do you, whatcan you say?
You know, when in Rome? But All in all, though, I am
just who I am and trying to get to where I need to be so I can
(09:51):
make that green and then get back home to my family.
That should be a song, but I don't know.
There's such a tumultuous cultural underpinning that
occurs for military people when you are subjected to situations
(10:11):
in which you have a mission to accomplish.
And it's a male and a female andyou got, it's just you and the
open Rd. And, you know, maybe that is
cause for concern for some, but,you know, in this case it is
not. But I think it does make some
guys uncomfortable, noticeably so.
So there was, first of all, you remember I went to the ER.
(10:34):
I'm not trying to be driving anywhere solo right now.
So I'm just like, I don't reallycare what discomfort you're
going through right now. We're going to get through this
because your girl is not going to have a heart attack on the
road and that be it. Sorry.
So put put on your man panties. So we're going to we're going to
(10:55):
ride this out. And but yeah, I know it was like
a big back and forth and like, Are you sure you want to do
this? I'm positive we're going to.
Well, I'm going to leave really early.
Yeah. OK.
Do I appreciate that? No, but check whatever.
We're going to get there. I thought you really wanted to
ride in your own vehicle. Yeah.
(11:17):
We all want what we want, but survival is key.
So this is what I'm doing. Yeah.
Not a big deal. I'm going to ride out and
complete this mission and I'm taking y'all with me.
I'm going to take y'all. I'm going to do voice memos most
likely. And I'm like, give you guys all
(11:39):
the dirt breaking news that comes across my purview.
I'm not sure actually, but we'llsee what we get through.
But yeah, I'm, I'm honestly kindof over this whole bro culture
like you. You just have different roles
that you have to do. Either the sister, which is what
(12:00):
I tend to prefer. You're dangerous, right?
You're a threat to somebody's marriage.
Like what? Can I just do my damn job?
Or I don't know, man, somebody'strying to hit on you.
And either way, I ain't got timefor any of it.
I wish I could wear a brown undershirt that just
(12:24):
communicated all of this. I ain't got time for your male
bullshit. I have no homework.
Whatever I just said I have no hormones.
I'm not even a female. I'm just soldier, soldier me.
Deal with it, Get over it. Let's get the job done.
So I mean, even lawyers peeing males and females peeing the
(12:48):
same bathroom. I mean, it can't be that deep.
It can't be that complicated. At some certain point,
everybody's what pheromones die down.
It must be around the 40s, right?
Their, their, their drive, theirsexual drive gets cut.
I'm just saying I don't even care anymore.
Like I get my thrills on Blueberry Hill.
(13:13):
No, I get my thrills elsewhere. Like I'm truly happy shooting my
dog with the water hose. Like that is legit.
Like, that's an orgasm. I mean, it really isn't, but I'm
just saying. Good enough.
So happy. I'm just crack.
I would rather laugh than probably orgasm.
(13:34):
Just tell them the truth. Yeah.
So you make me laugh. Or we're we're great.
And maybe that's my secret, maybe I shouldn't be telling my
secrets, but I don't really care.
I just want to have a good time and I don't want it to be
problematic. I don't want any drama, I don't
(13:56):
want any gossip. Just good old memories, a good
old time, maybe a Bloody Mary ortwo.
You will get no trouble out of me because I'm here to do what I
need to do and then get back to my family.
That's all I got to say. So yeah, there's this whole bro
culture. I just want you Bros to know
that it is what it is. Females work here to deal with
(14:22):
it. So yeah, I got plans.
I got other plans. I'm trying to build an empire
over here, one podcast at a time.
And I think the true investment that has the best return on
investment is people. So, you know, at the end, and
(14:47):
I've been thinking about it, at the end of your life, when you
reflect on everything you've done, what are you going to be
most proud of? What's going to make you smile?
What's going to make you feel complete and ready to go meet
your maker? What does that even mean?
(15:09):
Go meet your maker. Like go me.
I don't know. I don't even want to go there.
Let's go meet the ovaries and goback to the seat of the parents
that made you. Actually, that does make sense
because you go back into the dirt.
And nine times out of 10, if youdo it right, you live long
(15:32):
enough to where your parents aregone before you.
Yeah, and then wherever they have their plots lined up, you
just run underneath it. Yeah.
OK, so most people, when they say meet your maker, they're
talking about God. But I'm just saying the maker
was 1 and 2 on some steamy nightin an apartment or in a bedroom
(15:59):
in the parents house on a rickety bed.
That's what made you. I hope you guys are well today.
I think I have more thoughts. Pretty sure I do, but for now,
it's a wrap. Wrap it up.
I'm not talking about condoms. Maybe I am Trojan throwing out
(16:25):
Trojan ribbed. Not ribbed for your pleasure,
For her pleasure. All right, survivors, keep
pushing through. This is the way for it.
And you're listening to your host better.
Moody, I have so many more thoughts for you.
Stay tuned. I will see you in the next
(16:46):
episode.
OK, so imagine this. You're at home, got your feet
propped up, you're drinking on your Bloody Mary.
Oh my God, it's just right. You know, if you splash some
jalapeno juice in it, that is the ticket.
But let me tell you what would make it better.
(00:23):
What would make it better? I'm thinking you invite all your
friends over. Hear me out, I'm a middle-aged
woman and I'm thinking drunk chores.
You don't actually have to get the job done.
You invite the people over. The pinnacle of the event is to
(00:47):
make sure you get good and slushed chores.
That's the goal, that's the aim.Do we accomplish it?
But I'm just thinking you will feel accomplished.
And I think that's that's a worthy goal.
My goodness, my goodness. OK, let me fill you in on what
(01:08):
just happened here because I am dreading the next week.
I'm going to have to be traveling all over the planet.
And I just, I don't want to. So I'm pretending I'm not
packing. I'm not doing anything
productive. I'm pretending as if tomorrow's
going to be a day at the beach for some odd reason, and that
(01:30):
feels right. But there's been a series of
unfortunate events that have been taking me out of my
blissful Zen. And let me just introduce you to
stage 1. First of all, I wanted to drink.
Was there any vodka? No, there was not.
(01:54):
Why you may ask? Well, maybe I should not
divulge. There should be.
That's all I'm going to say about that.
So I made a quick call to my daughter and I said honey,
honey, sweet beautiful baby girl, Why is my vodka not where
it ought to be? And problem solved.
(02:18):
So here I am a little bit on thetipsy side.
Situation #2 hmm, dogs were dirty so I gave them a bath.
It's quite a fun thing. If you don't have dogs, please
do spray them with the water hose.
(02:38):
It's a treat. OK situation #3 The couch will
not push up against the wall. Why you might ask?
I've been wondering that for maybe the past month but did not
have the mental fortitude to investigate further.
But today, Today I rised up likethe Phoenix with new energy and
(03:08):
I pushed the couch back. Look behind there and lo and
behold, there is a PlayStation remote control.
And that's why when you go to push the sucker back, it teeters
back and forth like a seesaw. And I've been asking, I've been
asking where is the remote? But anyway, no worries people, I
(03:33):
rescued that mofo sure did. No cracks, no fissures, no
injuries, no casualties. So yeah, I do want to point out
that I did purchase a PlayStation previously and my
(03:54):
daughter's friends. Yeah.
OK, so that's my friend reachingout.
I'm going to get to that here ina minute.
Yeah, my daughter's friends did not steal it.
You can't see my air quotes here.
They did not steal it. That was in Alabama, so yeah,
they had to climb two flights ofstairs.
(04:19):
They didn't rob anyone else on the lower floors of the
apartments. Just my apartment.
I rent apartments and stay in one.
I have one that I go back to. It's kind of nice.
But no longer because now I cannot trust my daughter's quote
UN quote friends who help themselves not to the amenities,
(04:42):
but they just take the amenities.
So it's the equivalent of when Iwent to, I mean, I get it.
I went to Cancun, I took the floor mat, I took the towels, I
took whatever. This is karma.
I think all good though. But a PlayStation that's
sacrilegious. All right, So I don't know if
you hear the Dings, but the GoodSamaritan that I am now, I'm
(05:08):
just playing. I wanted to feel useful.
My girl is having a baby here onTuesday.
And I said tell me what you need, I got you.
She needed potato salad, not anypotato salad.
She needed my potato salad, Homemade potato salad.
So, yeah, I went to her house, gathered her old potatoes, used
(05:33):
the rest of my ingredients, and we made that thing happen.
I am very confident she will be impressed.
Jury's out, though. She said she'd send her son to
come get it. So that's her texting me.
She's like, I'm coming, like youbetter come because there's a
lot of potato salad. And let me tell you what I did
(05:54):
This potato salad, they put eggsin it, put cut up Pickles, like
dill Pickles, not relish. It's good stuff.
But cut up onions. What else?
I don't know. Honestly, I just kind of play it
by ear. I did grind up some pepcorns,
sprinkle that over it. That might be too much.
I hope she's OK. Hope baby makes it through the
(06:17):
potato salad. But yeah, that was.
She was like, I feel so bad. I'm like, do not feel bad.
I feel great being able to assist you, my sister.
So my blood relations, I've never been close enough to
support them as they've made their people and brought them
(06:38):
into the world. So it's like we're paying it
forward. We somehow it works itself out
in the universe. So it's all good.
Yeah. So I do have.
What do I want to talk about? OK, let's talk about what's
happening. So what's happening is tomorrow
I got to get my fat happy up andgo to work.
(07:01):
Oh my gosh, I got to get up at 6:00 AM, which is not out of the
ordinary. It's just I'm ditching my family
and I'm heading to Rhode Island and I'm going to sit there and
I'm going to look at some Army people and I'm going to play
that part. I'm going to play the senior NCO
(07:21):
role and I'm going to do my knowing nods and I'm going to
partake of whatever corporate propaganda I'm supposed to drink
the kool-aid, and I'm going to do all that good stuff.
And then I'm going to come back.Hopefully I make it back on a
(07:42):
Wednesday and I head on out to go and see the family.
I'm so excited about the family.I hadn't been back to Alabama in
a while. People might have forgotten me.
Not really. I reach out every now and again.
I'm going to see a very handsomeKobe Bryant looking dude.
(08:02):
We're going to have some coffee.It's going to be great.
Yeah. Let me tell you about this whole
ride. So it was a struggle.
I don't know why shouldn't be a struggle, but there is a
cultural issue in the military. Now, granted, I am not in my
(08:23):
best form right now. If I could spawn into the proper
fit, maybe I ought to do it. But right now I am, you know,
plus 50, probably 50 lbs more than I would really like to be.
(08:44):
And that's OK because some of that's muscle.
So forgiveness, it's more than saying sorry, you know, and I've
said this before, but I'm going to say it again.
Riding shotgun with another malewhen it's just you and that
(09:07):
other military male, it seems toalways draw some discomfort.
And that's where I'm at. I'm going to two.
It's going to be like a 2 hour potentially uncomfortable ride
down to Rhode Island. I don't have a problem with it
because I am in my own platonic world.
(09:28):
You know, I'm like Bambi and Snow White and I'm so rated G in
my head. I mean, I curse from time to
time. Hear me out.
It's you know, what do you, whatcan you say?
You know, when in Rome? But All in all, though, I am
just who I am and trying to get to where I need to be so I can
(09:51):
make that green and then get back home to my family.
That should be a song, but I don't know.
There's such a tumultuous cultural underpinning that
occurs for military people when you are subjected to situations
(10:11):
in which you have a mission to accomplish.
And it's a male and a female andyou got, it's just you and the
open Rd. And, you know, maybe that is
cause for concern for some, but,you know, in this case it is
not. But I think it does make some
guys uncomfortable, noticeably so.
So there was, first of all, you remember I went to the ER.
(10:34):
I'm not trying to be driving anywhere solo right now.
So I'm just like, I don't reallycare what discomfort you're
going through right now. We're going to get through this
because your girl is not going to have a heart attack on the
road and that be it. Sorry.
So put put on your man panties. So we're going to we're going to
(10:55):
ride this out. And but yeah, I know it was like
a big back and forth and like, Are you sure you want to do
this? I'm positive we're going to.
Well, I'm going to leave really early.
Yeah. OK.
Do I appreciate that? No, but check whatever.
We're going to get there. I thought you really wanted to
ride in your own vehicle. Yeah.
(11:17):
We all want what we want, but survival is key.
So this is what I'm doing. Yeah.
Not a big deal. I'm going to ride out and
complete this mission and I'm taking y'all with me.
I'm going to take y'all. I'm going to do voice memos most
likely. And I'm like, give you guys all
(11:39):
the dirt breaking news that comes across my purview.
I'm not sure actually, but we'llsee what we get through.
But yeah, I'm, I'm honestly kindof over this whole bro culture
like you. You just have different roles
that you have to do. Either the sister, which is what
(12:00):
I tend to prefer. You're dangerous, right?
You're a threat to somebody's marriage.
Like what? Can I just do my damn job?
Or I don't know, man, somebody'strying to hit on you.
And either way, I ain't got timefor any of it.
I wish I could wear a brown undershirt that just
(12:24):
communicated all of this. I ain't got time for your male
bullshit. I have no homework.
Whatever I just said I have no hormones.
I'm not even a female. I'm just soldier, soldier me.
Deal with it, Get over it. Let's get the job done.
So I mean, even lawyers peeing males and females peeing the
(12:48):
same bathroom. I mean, it can't be that deep.
It can't be that complicated. At some certain point,
everybody's what pheromones die down.
It must be around the 40s, right?
Their, their, their drive, theirsexual drive gets cut.
I'm just saying I don't even care anymore.
Like I get my thrills on Blueberry Hill.
(13:13):
No, I get my thrills elsewhere. Like I'm truly happy shooting my
dog with the water hose. Like that is legit.
Like, that's an orgasm. I mean, it really isn't, but I'm
just saying. Good enough.
So happy. I'm just crack.
I would rather laugh than probably orgasm.
(13:34):
Just tell them the truth. Yeah.
So you make me laugh. Or we're we're great.
And maybe that's my secret, maybe I shouldn't be telling my
secrets, but I don't really care.
I just want to have a good time and I don't want it to be
problematic. I don't want any drama, I don't
(13:56):
want any gossip. Just good old memories, a good
old time, maybe a Bloody Mary ortwo.
You will get no trouble out of me because I'm here to do what I
need to do and then get back to my family.
That's all I got to say. So yeah, there's this whole bro
culture. I just want you Bros to know
that it is what it is. Females work here to deal with
(14:22):
it. So yeah, I got plans.
I got other plans. I'm trying to build an empire
over here, one podcast at a time.
And I think the true investment that has the best return on
investment is people. So, you know, at the end, and
(14:47):
I've been thinking about it, at the end of your life, when you
reflect on everything you've done, what are you going to be
most proud of? What's going to make you smile?
What's going to make you feel complete and ready to go meet
your maker? What does that even mean?
(15:09):
Go meet your maker. Like go me.
I don't know. I don't even want to go there.
Let's go meet the ovaries and goback to the seat of the parents
that made you. Actually, that does make sense
because you go back into the dirt.
And nine times out of 10, if youdo it right, you live long
(15:32):
enough to where your parents aregone before you.
Yeah, and then wherever they have their plots lined up, you
just run underneath it. Yeah.
OK, so most people, when they say meet your maker, they're
talking about God. But I'm just saying the maker
was 1 and 2 on some steamy nightin an apartment or in a bedroom
(15:59):
in the parents house on a rickety bed.
That's what made you. I hope you guys are well today.
I think I have more thoughts. Pretty sure I do, but for now,
it's a wrap. Wrap it up.
I'm not talking about condoms. Maybe I am Trojan throwing out
(16:25):
Trojan ribbed. Not ribbed for your pleasure,
For her pleasure. All right, survivors, keep
pushing through. This is the way for it.
And you're listening to your host better.
Moody, I have so many more thoughts for you.
Stay tuned. I will see you in the next
(16:46):
episode.
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