August 8, 2025 • 15 mins
My body decided to audition for a medical drama, so I ended up in the ER — twitching eyes among other unnamed symptoms… and yes, I was annoyed the whole time.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
OK, I'm at home today. I don't know.
My boss said go ahead and take the day off, you need to rest
and relax. But my eye is twitching, my eye
is twitching, it's still twitching.
This is better Moody and you're listening to the way forward.
(00:23):
Or this is the way forward and you're listening to better
Moody. Aha, I'm going to cut that other
piece out. Or maybe I won't.
I might be full of shit. I am full of shit, literally.
But that's not your problem, I guess.
I am upstairs, my daughter's blasting her music and she is
(00:44):
being, she said she is cleaning her room.
I asked her to help me clean thegarage because I think I need to
do that. I need the world around me to be
clean so that I can legitimatelyrelax.
Eventually, hopefully, because Ican't, I am just that type of
person, I'll just sit there and scratch myself.
An unscratchable itch I will have because there's dirt
(01:07):
surrounding me. It'll just drive me insane.
I cannot relax. You can't lay me in a room full
of shit, tell me to take a deep breath and relax and lose my
mind and I'll feel like, you know, things are crawling on me,
etcetera, etcetera. So I asked her.
I said, hey, why don't we just go ahead and knock this stuff
out? It's been sitting there for a
while. It's not really hard.
(01:27):
I did some of it by myself already.
Shoo. But yeah, no, she's like, I'm
cleaning my room. Are you though?
Because you've been cleaning your room for the past two years
and to date it's remains the same.
So I'm not quite sure what kind of progress that is.
But also I got other things to worry about.
(01:48):
I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed, and I'm going to drink.
I'm going to finish my ginger beer.
Ginger beer supposed to be good for you.
I've been nauseous lately, having lots of headaches, other
things. That's OK.
This is what went down yesterday.
(02:08):
I went to my doctor, my primary care physician, and told him
what was going on with me. I'm not going to share those
details, but he's like, yeah, I consulted with another doctor
and we went ahead and called 911.
I said what? What the hell?
No, why are you doing this to me?
(02:31):
And of course, I went to the doctor for what I thought was
sick hall. They don't have sick hall
thinking, you know, we'll just get some medicine and go lay
down. It'll be great.
But he thought it was an ER worthy type visit.
So luckily I wore a headband though.
But the rest of me, man, so busted.
(02:54):
So just not, not ready for the runway.
And there was another pregnant nurse in there with me who had
her feet propped up because she forgot her belt to take the
pressure off of her off of her hips.
(03:15):
So she's chatting it up with me and I'm like, damn, I look like
a hot mess. I just want to hide, curl into a
ball and hide. I think this probably elevated
my condition and the symptoms got worse.
I just blacked out. So it's not even an exciting
story. But that was my first ambulance
(03:35):
ride and I never want to do it again.
I didn't want to look at anybody.
I'm telling you like I totally. I covered my face and turned my
toes in and tried to happy thought that whole experience
away. I made it into the hospital and
(03:57):
they had me in one of those bedsthat are in the aisle.
That's the craziest thing. They just have a placard on the
wall and that's your space. You don't you don't get a room.
You get a space, which I guess it's practical if you need to
move some people. So I'm chilling in the hallway,
uncomfortable as. As can be.
(04:22):
I was going to say uncomfortableas a bag of beans on a blender.
Now I don't know, but I was uncomfortable and I don't know
why I chose beans. So they did their thing on me
and then my daughter came to getme and then I finally went home.
(04:48):
I'm going to just fade away as we speak.
So I don't feel great. That's my point.
Not really trying to chat it up for forever.
But what I did like was I got tohear my daughter tell her story
of what happened to her the day prior as well.
(05:10):
Apparently she got pulled over by the police, but she was doing
Donuts in a church parking lot and some policeman was out in
the woods. What were you doing, Sir?
And he came out and I guess she almost ran him over 'cause she
was moving and doing Donuts so fast.
So pissed him off. And then I guess he found her on
the road, down the road. And he was like, hey, pulled her
(05:32):
over. Hey, was that you out there
behind the church parking lot? And she's like, yes, Sir.
And she's like, hey, he was so mad.
Which also I guess he did not give her a ticket, he said do
better. Now my daughter is pretty pretty
gorgeous so I'm not sure if thathad something to do with it or
the fact that he was randomly out in the woods on a
(05:55):
questionable mission. How did they know he was a cop?
Apparently when they were doing their Donuts the the badge
caught the light and they could see it.
So not quite sure what's going on there, but that was exciting
news for her. So Fast forward to today where I
am sitting in semi misery. My phone.
(06:19):
I was locked out of my phone andI was thinking how hilarious is
this? If I need to call 911 I cannot
do it because I like Camden use my phone while I passed out
yesterday. Baby Cam Cam the man remember
him, umm, Co host with the most umm, the Super tantrum.
(06:40):
Baby superpowers are tantrums. So yeah, he did something and I
had it set to oh, I was going totell you about this feature for
all you moms out there. It's really great until it's
not. So it's guided accessibility.
I think that's what it is. You go into your settings on
(07:02):
your phone. This is if you have a smartphone
and iPhone in particular, and then go to accessibility, which
will be toward the bottom. We'll see settings.
No, it's not. It's in the middle.
It's underneath general accessibility.
And then now you go to the bottom right Guided Access that
(07:25):
if you turn on Guided Access, you do a triple click on the
right hand side of your phone and whatever app you're in, it
will lock it in place. It's great.
So your kid can't go and buy up,you know, Amazon or Jack pocket
(07:48):
or stocks or call all your bosses on a group call, which
has happened before as well. So yeah, that's a nice feature.
Check it out. It's great.
Now let's see if we can circle back around to my whole point.
He locked my phone out, yes. So some weird feature.
There was two of them open at the same time, guided access,
and then another like voice option where it'll read the
screen back to you. And I don't know, it just locked
(08:11):
it. And so I had to wait for it to
die, or so I thought, because I went on lied and discovered that
you can also, if you run into some weird glitch, do a force
research, which I tried to restart my phone, people.
That's the obvious thing to do. But I didn't know you could do
volume up, volume down really fast.
And then hold the right side home button and just hang on.
(08:36):
Even though you see the Apple come up, the digital Apple logo,
just keep holding it. And then it's a force restart
and you're back home and save. So my phone was almost dead.
It was like 10:00 today when I finally decided to ask the the
Internet, hey, is there another workaround?
Or actually it started off with me asking will the guided access
(09:00):
feature be turned off if I do a restart?
And they're like, Yep, no worries, move on with your life.
Everything will get turned back off and reset.
So I was like, OK, cool. But yeah, that's how that got
started. All right, so back to the
present. Then I'm back in my phone
halfway saying still feel a little weird and funky, but also
(09:21):
I do not want to go to the damn hospital in an ambulance.
I will not be calling 911. I will probably.
You're going to have to next time I get carried.
It's going to be in a damn coffin because my pride won't
let me. That shit was horrible.
My blood pressure was fine. And then I got to the air, the
airport. So I was running.
I tried. They got me.
(09:43):
They reeled me back in. No, I got to the the freaking ER
and my blood pressure was high. It was like stage 1
hypertension. So that's what's happening right
there. You're going to kill me by
trying to save me. Don't do it.
Feel like Medea, just don't do it.
(10:03):
Yeah, my chest hurts thinking about that, but I try to self
soothe, try to rub on my body, love on myself, and there she
goes again. I don't know if you can hear
that, but she's playing in the background.
Yeah, I might be. I might be the one person where
the thought of death actually makes makes me think about all
(10:28):
the things I need to do to prep and clean and prepare for dying,
which is highly stressful and will end up killing me
regardless. So it's like, like, don't don't
open that door for me. It's a downward spiral.
Very quick one. Yeah, I was thinking about, man,
what do I I look busted. I don't want people to see my
(10:49):
face. Do I stink?
Now people are going to come visit me at home because I'm
ailing and 10 seconds from death, which is backwards, but
whatever. Even still, I'm a very private
person, hence why I'm behind themicrophone, right?
And and I just want to be left to myself, just want to be in my
(11:12):
little hovel, you know, churningout my little thoughts on the
day. That's it.
My little cave. But yeah.
So my daughter comes to look at me.
I'm eating cereal, sitting on the couch now, or I was about 20
minutes ago. And she's like, are you OK?
(11:33):
I feel like you're upset with me.
You're just sitting here in the quiet, eating by yourself
silently. I mean, OK.
Yeah. I mean, I'm here so I don't
think I'm all alone. OK?
There's at least one me and my thoughts baby.
But for whatever reason, if I'm not doing well, my eyes
twitching again, I have to caterto other people's emotions while
(11:55):
I die. If I'm not doing well, people
think I'm upset with them and I have to reassure them.
So here's my reassurance, sweet baby girl.
It's not you, it's me. Legitimately.
I'm just dying. That's it.
Can I just die without being harassed?
(12:16):
But she said that she had this this dream.
Was it a dream? Yeah, that the government was
talking to her. And it said that you have to
kill all the robots. I said, Are you sure you didn't
just fall asleep watching an episode of Black Mirror?
Because that sounds mysteriouslysimilar to one of those
(12:36):
episodes. And she said, no, no, he said
that. So now I guess I got to kill the
robots. And everybody's a robot.
And I was like, girl, you betternot listen to that voice.
So she's crawling. She's going, she's walking.
She's not crawling. She's she's walking up the
stairs. She turns back to me and she
says, mom, do you want to live? I said yes, yes, yes honey, I
(13:13):
want to live because it's my choice, right?
She said that's exactly what a robot would say.
And then saunters off you littleshit.
So if I don't die, you're going to finish the job?
Like what is happening right now?
Someone just help me and the madness, that's all I got.
(13:36):
I didn't even want to talk to you today.
I'm just be real. You probably didn't want to
listen to me so boom, it goes both ways.
Oh we're still friends though right?
A love hate relationship. OK, we'll hang around.
(13:57):
I'll probably be be back in a day or so, maybe even tomorrow
if I start feeling better and stay blessed.
That's what I that's what I kindof resort to when I can't think
of what the moral is and I really can't.
(14:18):
Don't ride ambulances unless unless you're saving lives.
Steer clear of them. Nah don't ignore your symptoms.
That's actually a good moral because then other people get
involved and then they start doing what they think's best for
you and it's annoying as fuck. So don't ignore symptoms, don't
(14:38):
downplay. I wouldn't.
I mean, I I did obviously, but it's going to be hard anyway.
So just be open to if you have to put a brown paper sack over
your head to make it into the doctor, I guess just do what you
need to do and get it done. Eat your peas.
All right, This is Better Moody.And you've.
(15:00):
This is the way forward. Yeah.
And you've been listening to Better Moody, so I will see you
in the next episode.
OK, I'm at home today. I don't know.
My boss said go ahead and take the day off, you need to rest
and relax. But my eye is twitching, my eye
is twitching, it's still twitching.
This is better Moody and you're listening to the way forward.
(00:23):
Or this is the way forward and you're listening to better
Moody. Aha, I'm going to cut that other
piece out. Or maybe I won't.
I might be full of shit. I am full of shit, literally.
But that's not your problem, I guess.
I am upstairs, my daughter's blasting her music and she is
(00:44):
being, she said she is cleaning her room.
I asked her to help me clean thegarage because I think I need to
do that. I need the world around me to be
clean so that I can legitimatelyrelax.
Eventually, hopefully, because Ican't, I am just that type of
person, I'll just sit there and scratch myself.
An unscratchable itch I will have because there's dirt
(01:07):
surrounding me. It'll just drive me insane.
I cannot relax. You can't lay me in a room full
of shit, tell me to take a deep breath and relax and lose my
mind and I'll feel like, you know, things are crawling on me,
etcetera, etcetera. So I asked her.
I said, hey, why don't we just go ahead and knock this stuff
out? It's been sitting there for a
while. It's not really hard.
(01:27):
I did some of it by myself already.
Shoo. But yeah, no, she's like, I'm
cleaning my room. Are you though?
Because you've been cleaning your room for the past two years
and to date it's remains the same.
So I'm not quite sure what kind of progress that is.
But also I got other things to worry about.
(01:48):
I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed, and I'm going to drink.
I'm going to finish my ginger beer.
Ginger beer supposed to be good for you.
I've been nauseous lately, having lots of headaches, other
things. That's OK.
This is what went down yesterday.
(02:08):
I went to my doctor, my primary care physician, and told him
what was going on with me. I'm not going to share those
details, but he's like, yeah, I consulted with another doctor
and we went ahead and called 911.
I said what? What the hell?
No, why are you doing this to me?
(02:31):
And of course, I went to the doctor for what I thought was
sick hall. They don't have sick hall
thinking, you know, we'll just get some medicine and go lay
down. It'll be great.
But he thought it was an ER worthy type visit.
So luckily I wore a headband though.
But the rest of me, man, so busted.
(02:54):
So just not, not ready for the runway.
And there was another pregnant nurse in there with me who had
her feet propped up because she forgot her belt to take the
pressure off of her off of her hips.
(03:15):
So she's chatting it up with me and I'm like, damn, I look like
a hot mess. I just want to hide, curl into a
ball and hide. I think this probably elevated
my condition and the symptoms got worse.
I just blacked out. So it's not even an exciting
story. But that was my first ambulance
(03:35):
ride and I never want to do it again.
I didn't want to look at anybody.
I'm telling you like I totally. I covered my face and turned my
toes in and tried to happy thought that whole experience
away. I made it into the hospital and
(03:57):
they had me in one of those bedsthat are in the aisle.
That's the craziest thing. They just have a placard on the
wall and that's your space. You don't you don't get a room.
You get a space, which I guess it's practical if you need to
move some people. So I'm chilling in the hallway,
uncomfortable as. As can be.
(04:22):
I was going to say uncomfortableas a bag of beans on a blender.
Now I don't know, but I was uncomfortable and I don't know
why I chose beans. So they did their thing on me
and then my daughter came to getme and then I finally went home.
(04:48):
I'm going to just fade away as we speak.
So I don't feel great. That's my point.
Not really trying to chat it up for forever.
But what I did like was I got tohear my daughter tell her story
of what happened to her the day prior as well.
(05:10):
Apparently she got pulled over by the police, but she was doing
Donuts in a church parking lot and some policeman was out in
the woods. What were you doing, Sir?
And he came out and I guess she almost ran him over 'cause she
was moving and doing Donuts so fast.
So pissed him off. And then I guess he found her on
the road, down the road. And he was like, hey, pulled her
(05:32):
over. Hey, was that you out there
behind the church parking lot? And she's like, yes, Sir.
And she's like, hey, he was so mad.
Which also I guess he did not give her a ticket, he said do
better. Now my daughter is pretty pretty
gorgeous so I'm not sure if thathad something to do with it or
the fact that he was randomly out in the woods on a
(05:55):
questionable mission. How did they know he was a cop?
Apparently when they were doing their Donuts the the badge
caught the light and they could see it.
So not quite sure what's going on there, but that was exciting
news for her. So Fast forward to today where I
am sitting in semi misery. My phone.
(06:19):
I was locked out of my phone andI was thinking how hilarious is
this? If I need to call 911 I cannot
do it because I like Camden use my phone while I passed out
yesterday. Baby Cam Cam the man remember
him, umm, Co host with the most umm, the Super tantrum.
(06:40):
Baby superpowers are tantrums. So yeah, he did something and I
had it set to oh, I was going totell you about this feature for
all you moms out there. It's really great until it's
not. So it's guided accessibility.
I think that's what it is. You go into your settings on
(07:02):
your phone. This is if you have a smartphone
and iPhone in particular, and then go to accessibility, which
will be toward the bottom. We'll see settings.
No, it's not. It's in the middle.
It's underneath general accessibility.
And then now you go to the bottom right Guided Access that
(07:25):
if you turn on Guided Access, you do a triple click on the
right hand side of your phone and whatever app you're in, it
will lock it in place. It's great.
So your kid can't go and buy up,you know, Amazon or Jack pocket
(07:48):
or stocks or call all your bosses on a group call, which
has happened before as well. So yeah, that's a nice feature.
Check it out. It's great.
Now let's see if we can circle back around to my whole point.
He locked my phone out, yes. So some weird feature.
There was two of them open at the same time, guided access,
and then another like voice option where it'll read the
screen back to you. And I don't know, it just locked
(08:11):
it. And so I had to wait for it to
die, or so I thought, because I went on lied and discovered that
you can also, if you run into some weird glitch, do a force
research, which I tried to restart my phone, people.
That's the obvious thing to do. But I didn't know you could do
volume up, volume down really fast.
And then hold the right side home button and just hang on.
(08:36):
Even though you see the Apple come up, the digital Apple logo,
just keep holding it. And then it's a force restart
and you're back home and save. So my phone was almost dead.
It was like 10:00 today when I finally decided to ask the the
Internet, hey, is there another workaround?
Or actually it started off with me asking will the guided access
(09:00):
feature be turned off if I do a restart?
And they're like, Yep, no worries, move on with your life.
Everything will get turned back off and reset.
So I was like, OK, cool. But yeah, that's how that got
started. All right, so back to the
present. Then I'm back in my phone
halfway saying still feel a little weird and funky, but also
(09:21):
I do not want to go to the damn hospital in an ambulance.
I will not be calling 911. I will probably.
You're going to have to next time I get carried.
It's going to be in a damn coffin because my pride won't
let me. That shit was horrible.
My blood pressure was fine. And then I got to the air, the
airport. So I was running.
I tried. They got me.
(09:43):
They reeled me back in. No, I got to the the freaking ER
and my blood pressure was high. It was like stage 1
hypertension. So that's what's happening right
there. You're going to kill me by
trying to save me. Don't do it.
Feel like Medea, just don't do it.
(10:03):
Yeah, my chest hurts thinking about that, but I try to self
soothe, try to rub on my body, love on myself, and there she
goes again. I don't know if you can hear
that, but she's playing in the background.
Yeah, I might be. I might be the one person where
the thought of death actually makes makes me think about all
(10:28):
the things I need to do to prep and clean and prepare for dying,
which is highly stressful and will end up killing me
regardless. So it's like, like, don't don't
open that door for me. It's a downward spiral.
Very quick one. Yeah, I was thinking about, man,
what do I I look busted. I don't want people to see my
(10:49):
face. Do I stink?
Now people are going to come visit me at home because I'm
ailing and 10 seconds from death, which is backwards, but
whatever. Even still, I'm a very private
person, hence why I'm behind themicrophone, right?
And and I just want to be left to myself, just want to be in my
(11:12):
little hovel, you know, churningout my little thoughts on the
day. That's it.
My little cave. But yeah.
So my daughter comes to look at me.
I'm eating cereal, sitting on the couch now, or I was about 20
minutes ago. And she's like, are you OK?
(11:33):
I feel like you're upset with me.
You're just sitting here in the quiet, eating by yourself
silently. I mean, OK.
Yeah. I mean, I'm here so I don't
think I'm all alone. OK?
There's at least one me and my thoughts baby.
But for whatever reason, if I'm not doing well, my eyes
twitching again, I have to caterto other people's emotions while
(11:55):
I die. If I'm not doing well, people
think I'm upset with them and I have to reassure them.
So here's my reassurance, sweet baby girl.
It's not you, it's me. Legitimately.
I'm just dying. That's it.
Can I just die without being harassed?
(12:16):
But she said that she had this this dream.
Was it a dream? Yeah, that the government was
talking to her. And it said that you have to
kill all the robots. I said, Are you sure you didn't
just fall asleep watching an episode of Black Mirror?
Because that sounds mysteriouslysimilar to one of those
(12:36):
episodes. And she said, no, no, he said
that. So now I guess I got to kill the
robots. And everybody's a robot.
And I was like, girl, you betternot listen to that voice.
So she's crawling. She's going, she's walking.
She's not crawling. She's she's walking up the
stairs. She turns back to me and she
says, mom, do you want to live? I said yes, yes, yes honey, I
(13:13):
want to live because it's my choice, right?
She said that's exactly what a robot would say.
And then saunters off you littleshit.
So if I don't die, you're going to finish the job?
Like what is happening right now?
Someone just help me and the madness, that's all I got.
(13:36):
I didn't even want to talk to you today.
I'm just be real. You probably didn't want to
listen to me so boom, it goes both ways.
Oh we're still friends though right?
A love hate relationship. OK, we'll hang around.
(13:57):
I'll probably be be back in a day or so, maybe even tomorrow
if I start feeling better and stay blessed.
That's what I that's what I kindof resort to when I can't think
of what the moral is and I really can't.
(14:18):
Don't ride ambulances unless unless you're saving lives.
Steer clear of them. Nah don't ignore your symptoms.
That's actually a good moral because then other people get
involved and then they start doing what they think's best for
you and it's annoying as fuck. So don't ignore symptoms, don't
(14:38):
downplay. I wouldn't.
I mean, I I did obviously, but it's going to be hard anyway.
So just be open to if you have to put a brown paper sack over
your head to make it into the doctor, I guess just do what you
need to do and get it done. Eat your peas.
All right, This is Better Moody.And you've.
(15:00):
This is the way forward. Yeah.
And you've been listening to Better Moody, so I will see you
in the next episode.
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